United
by NellietheMarvelous
Summary: With Red John out of the picture, Lisbon thought Jane was acting fine until he shocks the heck out of her with one question that leaves her contemplating everything. She has no idea how to answer him but once she does, she knows things won't be the same.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: NO.**

**A/N: Don't even ask where this idea came from because all I'll say is that I have the weirdest dreams. Anyway, my brain isn't happy unless I have four ongoing fics apparently. I think I found a new favorite Lisbon. Awkward Lisbon used to be my favorite but I think I like distracted-scatter-brained Lisbon just as well.**

It was a typical day at work, Lisbon almost laughed at the thought. As if any day working at the CBI was typical with her team. Then again maybe the fact that it was never typical actually made it typical. It was normal for them to be abnormal. Not so much before Jane had come along but it wouldn't be the same without him. She had to admit that. Despite his crazy schemes and knack for racking up the law suits, she enjoyed having him around. Well sometimes she did and other times she wanted to crawl under a table and never come out. He had a strange capability of knowing everything she didn't want announced to the world and what did he always seem to do with that info? He told everyone of course.

She'd been going easy on him the last several months. Red John was no longer in the picture and she couldn't help but mother over Jane a little more. She wanted to be sure he was okay but he'd proved he was fine when he'd made an announcement in the elevator. Gossip spread like wildfire.

The entire building now knew that she'd had a date the night before and that it didn't end as well as she'd been hoping. She'd been a little - a lot - pissed at Jane when he'd just abruptly carried their conversation over into her personal life rather easily and as if it was something he was supposed to do. But again, despite all of that, she had to admit that she'd actually get a little lonely if he wasn't around. She would never tell him that, it would just inflate his ego and the man was cocky enough already.

He teased, it was the one thing she was used to from him but she wasn't stupid. She noticed that their little chats were hardly ever about anything serious and she knew that he'd never tease her over something that he thought would actually upset her. They never brought up family history or the pasts they had both tried and failed to block out over time. The only circumstances where they did mention very vague things about them was if it was brought on by a tough case or relevant. On the topic of relevance, Lisbon knew she needed to calm her straying thoughts and finish filling out the few papers littering her desk. With a deep breath she pushed the consultant from her mind - he'd been invading it more and more lately - and picked up the pen she'd carelessly dropped.

Her back was cramping from hunching over for hours at a time. She'd been in one position too long but it'd been a rather lazy work day. No new cases, just old ones that needed filed and put away. The area between her shoulder blades was aching, sending pain down her spine and up into her neck. She hated back aches, there was no real relief from them. No matter how many times she stretched, the ache always returned within seconds. She could still work effectively but she would be the first to confess that she'd work better if she wasn't hurting. Aches and pains never stopped her from getting the job done but it was easier and more pleasant when she felt right as rain.

The blank form in her hands was mocking her, staring at her and just teasing her for the inability to concentrate enough to write. Her brain seemed to be anywhere and everywhere on this day and she couldn't do anything about it. She needed to stop thinking of such mundane things when the paper in front of her wasn't going to fill itself out but she still found herself with a consultant and a lousy date occupying her misbehaving mind.

The two didn't go together really. Jane had nothing to do with her lousy date, though it didn't help that the entire time she kept wondering what it would be like to go on a date with Patrick Jane instead of Mr. Slow. It wasn't so much that the red headed man was horrible company, he was actually okay. She didn't mind listening to him talk about his day, it kept her from having to open up about her own but he just seemed set on taking things at a slow pace. Hence the nickname she'd given him.

Last night hadn't been their first date, or even their second. Nope it was the sixth time they'd been out and he still hadn't even attempted to do anything. Nothing. No kiss on the hand or the cheek. He hadn't ever tried to hold her hand or touch her at all for that matter. Okay, so she was an adult and some of those things sounded rather childish but most men would've tried a little something, if not gone straight for the grand prize.

After the way the night had ended, she knew she wouldn't be accepting another date from him. She was a woman, she had urges and having dinner at cozy restaurants with romantic lighting only to go home alone, was not one of those urges. On their first date, he'd told her he liked taking things slow and she was fine with that but she hadn't realized that by slow, he meant the pace of a snail making it's way through molasses.

Chuckling at the mental image she'd managed to give herself, she dropped the pen once again with a sigh. There was no way she was going to be able to clear her head enough to get anything done. She didn't know why she was so scatter brained, it actually annoyed her but there wasn't anything she could do about it. Something had her mind racing, filling with mostly random nonsense. Just when she was about to jump up and head for the coffee pot, Jane waltzed in with a befuddled expression on his handsome face.

It was strange to see him looking so confused and whatever had him feeling that way seemed to be coming from within. She opened her mouth to ask if he was okay but the words didn't get a chance to work their way out into the atmosphere.

"I have something I want to ask you." Jane was nervous, he was never nervous. At least Lisbon had never seen him actually display it before but it was clear from the faltering shy smile and the way he wiped his palms against the legs of his trousers.

"Shoot."

"T-this is going to seem really strange and you'll think I'm joking but..."

"Jane, just ask." There was a hint of teasing in her voice, she couldn't help herself really. It was fun to turn the tables every once in awhile when she actually got the chance.

Lisbon wasn't really sure what she was expecting to hear but what he did next completely blew her mind. Because she didn't have enough going on up there without his added strange Jane-ness. He took two hesitant steps towards her desk, nothing really special about that but she was still a little confused by his behavior. It was weird even for him.

"I bought you something," His hand disappeared into his pocket and pulled out a tiny box. Her heart sped up just at the sight and when he opened it to show her what was hidden inside, her eyes widened. "Marry me?"

It felt as though time had stopped as soon as the words left his lips. He couldn't be serious, she knew he had to be joking and yet she couldn't help but admire the ring. It was pretty, nothing too elaborate just a simple single diamond with an emerald on each side of it but she thought it was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she'd ever seen. She always liked simple things.

Resembling a fish as she searched for something to say, she finally let herself process what had just taken place. A soft laugh bubbled up from deep in her lungs as she shook her head. Another typically abnormal day.

"Funny Jane. Really, what did you want to ask?" She was smiling, still staring at the black velvet box in his outstretched hand. It really was lovely, she figured it was probably his wife's, or he'd borrowed it from someone. It wasn't until she let her gaze drift up to meet his that her happy demeanor changed.

He was looking over her shoulder, trying to avoid her questioning eyes and it was one of the rare moments when she could see every emotion he was feeling. He looked crushed, he wasn't faking it and her heart constricted painfully in her chest when she glanced back down at the ring he was still offering her.

"Jane, are you actually..." The sentence trailed off into nothing. She already knew, she did and that terrified her. What the hell was happening?

"Yes, I'm asking you to marry me."

"We've never even been on a date. We've never," There was a pause as a light flush rose in her cheeks. "...kissed or anything."

It seemed like a good argument, she didn't know what to say to him and he was just staring at her with piercing eyes. He'd found the courage to look at her again, never making a move to close the ring box. Lisbon was completely flabbergasted. She wasn't sure if she should be angry with him or feel sorry for him. He looked like an anxious saddened puppy who'd just got in trouble.

"Are you okay Jane?" She was thinking he might have bumped his head or lost his mind. Something to make him do this, of all things.

"I'm fine. I just didn't realize that minuscule details such as dates and kissing had anything to do with actual feelings." He sounded almost angry now, she was so confused. His emotions were changing quicker than she could handle, it was making her head spin.

With a disbelieving sigh, he set the little box on her desk and walked away, leaving her alone to question if any of that had really happened or if she was simply dreaming.

Watching him leave, she could see the tension in his shoulders as he hung his head. He wasn't nervous anymore and Lisbon couldn't help but feel a little guilty. She'd pretty much rejected him, saying everything she could think of besides the word 'no'. The puzzling thing was that she had no idea what brought this on. He hadn't been acting different lately, nothing out of the ordinary for him and then all of a sudden this.

A part of her wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that Red John had been killed about five months ago. It'd all come down to an intense standoff. Red John versus CBI and SWAT, it was obvious who won. She'd feared that Jane would leave, or that he'd resent them all for not giving him the chance to finish off the serial killer the way he'd intended but she'd never thought this would happen. Maybe he wasn't as okay as she'd originally thought.

Despite feeling a cocktail of emotions - none of them resembling what a woman should feel when a man proposes - Lisbon carefully lifted the ring from it's resting place. She eyed it cautiously, taking in the fact that it was cool to the touch. Pursing her lips, she thought back over the years she'd worked with the man who'd just ninja attacked her brain. They'd had several moments that could have led to something but they never did and she always took that as a sign.

Just out of curiosity, she gave in to the desire of her itching hands. She gently slid the circular piece of jewelry onto her left ring finger and was astounded to find that it was a perfect fit. Staring down at her hand, she let herself contemplate how long it would take to get used to seeing the beautiful symbol of love and then she caught herself and shook the forbidden thoughts. This wasn't a fairytale land.

She wasn't blind or stupid, she knew there was some level of attraction on both of their parts but she'd never thought he'd want to marry her. He was Jane. He'd been married, had a kid and then lost it all. He was damaged and she'd told herself countless times that he was strictly off limits. Unavailable in every way. There were times she longed for something to happen and other times she thought he was a cold manipulative bastard but at that exact second while sitting there staring at the ring occupying her finger, she let herself ponder his parting words. Had that been his way of saying he loved her?

With a groan, she let her head fall into her hands but didn't move to take off the ring. Her typically abnormal day had just become strange, and that was saying something. She'd imagined how the day would go while in the shower that morning. She'd figured it'd be paperwork, case, clean up one of Jane's messes and then repeat. She never in a million years expected this, she still wasn't sure it had actually happened. She was living in denial for the time being and then it struck her - she hadn't said the word 'no' because she hadn't wanted to. This couldn't be happening.

Did she love Patrick Jane? Yes. She didn't really have to even think about it but there was a huge difference between loving someone and marrying someone. With a tired laugh, she thought about thanking him. At least he'd managed to get her mind to stick to one topic. At the end of the day, she'd have to face him but she could put it off till then. She needed to think of what she was going to say and of how they were going to get passed this.

**a/n: Like I said...weird dreams but this has been eating away at me so I just had to type it. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**A/N: I know I'm probably clinically insane to be doing this AGAIN, but this makes number 4 on my ongoing stories list. Grr. Technically I have seven going, I only have four posted. The other three, I'm typing and then I'll post them once I'm a few chapters in...or finished. One will be up soon though because it's the sequel to Melt and I'm freakishly excited with the way it's turning out so far. Anyway, enjoy this chapter while I gripe at my TV for being stupid and messing up.**

**Oh and uh just a reminder that this is set in the future. **

Uncomfortable, exhausted emotionally and a little angry, Jane stared at the ceiling above his couch. Elvis wasn't much for company now that he felt as though he'd just made a fool of himself. Lisbon had looked at him as if he'd grown a third eye when he asked her to marry him. Perhaps he should have been used to receiving that kind of look from her but it bothered him on this night. He wasn't sure why. Sure they hadn't been dating, though he counted all their late night dinners as dates and she was right, they'd never kissed but that didn't mean he didn't love her. He couldn't understand her excuses when something as trivial as going to a movie or out to eat had nothing to do with feelings. He'd bought her a ring, he'd made sure they were alone and he'd asked. He could have gotten down on one knee but he hadn't thought to do so at the time. This wasn't his first proposal but the nerves were still there all the same.

It wasn't really that far fetched - at least he didn't think so - that the last several months led to this. After the death of Red John, he'd thought of leaving the CBI. Technically the reason he had joined was gone and so was his reason to stay or so he'd thought. It was then that he decided he needed to evaluate a few things and decide where to go from there. He'd never thought beyond Red John, never. He hadn't let himself just in case there wasn't a future for him but once he'd taken the time to distinguish the feeling in his chest, he realized he couldn't leave. He couldn't walk out on the woman he'd fallen for. The first few seconds after he realized that he had indeed fallen in love with Lisbon, he hated it. He absolutely hated the idea of being so completely stupid but then he got used to the idea. He realized that it wasn't that odd and probably shouldn't have surprised him at all.

They'd been working together so long that it shouldn't have come as a shock and once he really thought about it, it wasn't. It just seemed normal and easy, much the same as breathing. It'd bothered him at first because he'd thought he should be mad at her for taking away his plan for revenge. He thought he was supposed to be angry at all of them. At everyone and everything, just as he had the night he had come home to find his family.

He couldn't be angry with her though, he'd tried. It didn't work. There might have been a twinge but nothing more than that. She'd been doing her job, she was Lisbon. She always did her job and he couldn't hate her for that. Instead he loved her for it. The night he came to the conclusion, he went out and bought the ring. It had also been that night that his wedding band was removed from his finger and locked away in a safe place. That'd been almost four months ago. He hadn't been ready for anything more than her friendship at the time, Red John had just been killed but he bought it knowing that one day he would ask.

Today had been that day and she'd said everything she could think of besides no. He'd left the ring on her desk and retreated to the couch, that's where he'd been ever since. He hadn't moved once. If the team noticed they wisely didn't mention it and when they left for the night, they wisely didn't bother with saying goodnight. He was waiting for her to confront him, he knew she would. This was Lisbon, it would eat away at her until she knew why he had sprung this on her now. He wanted her to say yes, he needed her to. He wanted to be married again, he wanted to wear a gold band classifying him as taken. With a tired sigh, he let his eyes close and made a vow to keep trying. She had to say yes.

* * *

Something was ringing, causing Lisbon to groan and slap at what she was sure was her alarm. When her hand hit the stapler on her desk, she realized she wasn't at home asleep in her bed. She was still at work and must have dozed off. Opening her eyes slowly, she let them adjust to the dim lighting. It was dark which meant it was late and when she raised her head to look around, she let out a yelp as her hand flew up to the back of her neck. It wasn't a good idea to move in such a way. Rubbing at the aching area, she tried to move it again - a little slower this time.

The ringing continued, her phone lighting up against her desk. One look at the caller ID and she knew it wasn't anything important. Most likely someone trying to sell her something or a bill collector of some sort. With a groan she let it go to voice mail and made a quick decision to go home. She knew she'd only fall asleep again if she stayed. Grabbing things from the cluttered space, she caught sight of the little black box and quickly looked down at her left hand. The ring was still there, she'd forgotten to take it off. Jane. The man knew how to confuse her that was for sure.

Wiggling her fingers, she watched the gems shimmer and caught herself smiling. It wasn't as hard as she'd thought it would be to get used to, though it was still odd to see something like an engagement ring staring back at her. With a deep breath, she headed for the bullpen. She knew he was probably waiting on her and they needed to talk. She wanted to know what brought all of this on and why he'd picked this day, of all days, to propose. She couldn't even think about that word without wondering if she should have them both committed. This wasn't something you just do, this was something that was supposed to come around after several dates, kisses, months of getting to know each other. Jane knew that. He'd been married before, it wasn't like he was some kid who didn't know what he was getting into by asking such a thing.

The reason she was contemplating having herself committed along with him, she wanted to say yes. She wanted to be irrational and take a chance but she knew she shouldn't. She knew how it could all end and there were just so many possibilities of heartbreak. She figured she was just so used to mothering over him that she didn't want to tell him no. She'd become accustomed to inviting him to her apartment for dinner and a couch to crash on. Sometimes it was for purely selfish reasons and other times she was just worried about him. He was Jane and he could be so distant that it scared her. Especially after the whole Red John thing.

His unruly curls were the first things she could see, a small pang of longing filtered through her but she pushed it down. They weren't on the same page, she knew they weren't and she couldn't agree to be engaged to him when she didn't know what he was expecting. When she actually stood directly next to his brown leather couch, she almost walked away. His eyes were closed, and he was actually snoring softly. He was sleeping but she couldn't leave.

"Jane." She almost laughed at herself for whispering but the sound never made it out into the open. Nudging his shoulder with her leg, she tried again. "Jane."

"Mmph, hm?" She wanted to hit him for implanting the idea of married life into her head. It wouldn't leave her alone now and she found herself smiling again when he fought to open his eyes. She shouldn't have been wondering how many mornings she would wake to see it happen again. She was here to let him down gently, not jump into something that would upset her entire world. "Lisbon."

They were still using last names, another reason she couldn't say yes to such an out of the blue bad idea. They did use first names on occasion, more now than before but that didn't mean anything...did it? She didn't know and she wasn't sure why when he patted the tiny amount of free space next to his head, she sat down. She tried to fold her hands in her lap but he caught them with his own and traced over the ring she had yet to remove.

"You're wearing it. Does this mean..."

"No, I don't know. You really caught me off guard today." They'd never been intimate, never held hands, never done anything remotely couple like so when he maneuvered her hand around to press his mouth to the palm, she sucked in a sharp breath. This wasn't helping with her plan to say no.

"I believe that's the whole point when proposing."

"I'm not saying yes but hypothetically speaking, what would being engaged change for us?"

"We'd have somewhere to go, someone to always turn to no matter the circumstances." Nothing he said was screaming anything more than just a strong friendship.

"And once we're married?"

"I'd move in, or I could do that before I suppose. We'd need to..."

"No Jane. I mean," With those sleepy eyes staring up at her it was hard to find the words she was looking for. How exactly was she supposed to ask if they would kiss and take things further? How was she supposed to ask if it changed their physical relationship? "What brought this on? Why'd you ask me to marry you?"

"I wanted to, I bought the ring months ago but it wasn't the right time. It is now, Teresa." A jolt of pleasure shot through her body when he turned his face into her side, nuzzling lightly while keeping their hands locked together. "Just say yes, please?"

It wasn't right, something was wrong. He sounded almost desperate for her to agree, Jane was never desperate for anything. She couldn't see his expression, he still had his face pressed against her and she knew that she should leave. She should tell him all of this will pass, they'll get back to normal and leave but she couldn't. Her legs wouldn't cooperate and neither would her mouth. Her lips moved and she finally spoke but it wasn't the word she'd been practicing in her head since he'd proposed.

"Yes." Her heart hammered in her chest, her brain already shouting at her for doing something so stupid but when he abruptly sat up, startling her by wrapping her in a hug, she quit listening. He was squeezing her. Almost too tightly but she didn't say anything. She sighed and let her hands move to rest against his back. Most people would have kissed but they didn't. It was obvious that marriage didn't mean the same to him as it did to her. She couldn't stop her mind from wandering to the dark place that took pride in taunting her, teasing mercilessly and making her think that maybe this was his way of replacing what he'd lost. Replacing his wife.

"Can I come home with you?" Maybe she was wrong. Maybe he planned to celebrate their engagement. She never thought she would think of Jane and the word engagement in the same sentence. They'd both lost their minds, that was the only way to explain it or this was some crazy dream she'd wake from to laugh about while washing her hair.

"Sure but I think we need to be clear about what this means." There was no way they were done talking. She might have said yes but that didn't mean she wouldn't change her mind given proper cause. She was going to confront him when they got to her apartment, she would ask flat out if she was his way of replacing his wife. If she was simply his cure for the lonliness and failure that he felt for not getting to Red John. She could feel the makings of a headache coming on. Why the hell had she just accepted a proposal from Jane? What the hell was wrong with her?

**a/n: I have the mother of all headaches right now. Meh. Anyways...don't think that Lisbon saying yes actually means something, I'm sure you've all noticed the hints I've thrown in about Jane's behavior. This story is going to be a bumpy ride.**

**Next up: **

**_She'd made a terrible mistake. How was she supposed to fix it now? She couldn't just make him leave, that'd be rude and she didn't want to be mean to him. He obviously hadn't meant any real harm. In fact he seemed completely oblivious to the fact that it was strange._**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: NO.**

**A/N: Like I stated in other author's notes....Updating frenzy. I'm like a madwoman. :D I'm enjoying it though, I feel like I'm finally getting to the point where the end is in site for two of my other stories which means I can upload more. I think I'm obsessed with starting new stories...great another obsession. Just what I need, bright side: I even made a banner for this story. That's another obsession. Anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter. This interesting little gem, is well...interesting.**

It was awkward to be inviting Jane into her home, Lisbon realized that fact a little too late. He'd been there before, a lot lately in fact. He'd been keeping her couch company some nights but this was different. Suddenly she felt as though he were someone different, someone that she wasn't sure she wanted to be privileged to the inner workings of her apartment. The little things that made her who she was, the nick knacks she'd saved since she was a child or things that her brothers had collected for her over time. Jane had already seen all of it, commented on most of it and yet for some unforeseen reason she was terrified that he'd say something new. The man had proposed out of the blue, it wouldn't be so surprising if he decided to delve into her personal history and dig a little deeper than he had before. Then again, she'd accepted. That gave him a right to nose around now, didn't it? She was assuming so.

She'd said yes to a question that changed the rest of her life. It altered her plans, twisted them around to fit the new lifestyle she would lead. It hadn't fully kicked in yet but she knew it would before the night was over. A few hours is all it would take. She was still shocked that she'd even agreed to such a thing. Honestly she'd never seen herself as married, not really. Her job took up her time and she was sort of okay with that. She worked hard to get to where she was and if that didn't leave her much time for a personal life then so be it. She pictured herself as a successful woman, never really married and definitely not to Patrick Jane.

Closing the door she threw her keys on the table and kicked off her shoes, biting back a smile when Jane done the same. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to have him around all the time. She did enjoy his company, he kept things interesting. The ring on her finger was proof of that. She knew why she had said yes. She knew it was selfish but she couldn't help it. She was tired of being alone, tired of not having someone there to rely on. She also wanted to know what was wrong with him, why he was acting so strange. She'd agreed mainly just to see what he meant when he'd asked her to marry him. She wanted to know if he meant a marriage, hugging, kissing, loving marriage or if his mind had conjured up a delusion to deal with the last five months. In the back of her mind, she knew she already had the answer. This was an illusion on both of their parts. She'd made a terrible mistake. How was she supposed to fix it now? She couldn't just make him leave, that'd be rude and she didn't want to be mean to him. He obviously hadn't meant any real harm. In fact he seemed completely oblivious to the fact that it was strange.

He acted as though proposing had been a normal thing to do, and maybe it was for people who'd actually dated and acknowledged that they had feelings for each other. She couldn't make him leave, when he'd already made himself comfortable in her chair. Hers, now his too she supposed. She was feeding into the craze of the whole thing by accepting the ring and what went along with it. It might be a huge mistake, the worst but when he let his head loll to the side to stare at her, she thought that maybe it wouldn't be. Maybe this was supposed to happen. She wasn't sure she believed in fate and karma and all that stuff but maybe.

"Jane..."

"Patrick now."

"Alright then, Patrick. I need to know why you really asked me to marry you." It was late, she was tired and she just wanted some form of clarity before turning in for the night. "And don't say it's because you wanted to."

"Same reason you said yes. We love each other, it makes sense." Stepping up next to him, she knelt and grabbed hold of his hand. She knew that she loved him, she knew he'd just said _'we love each other'_ but she didn't know if he loved her. He hadn't said that, not directly.

"Jane, this isn't a game. I know this somehow relates back to Red John..."

"No it doesn't. Not everything revolves around Red John, not everything revolves around him. It doesn't." He wasn't talking to her, he was talking to himself and she knew she'd pegged it just right. She needed to do some digging but she was positive all of this, everything in the last several months tied back to the serial killer who'd taken away Jane's family. She could see it in his eyes though that he needed this. He wanted a hint of normalcy, he wanted to try to be himself again after hunting a man for so many years.

Vengeance had a way of changing a person, turning them into what they loathed. It morphed emotions, toying with them and tying them in knots until you were left with a tangled mess and no idea how to get out of it. If this was Jane's way of seeking help then she'd do everything she could. If that made her gullible, stupid, insane or all of the above, then so be it. This was Jane, she wasn't going to kick him out and watch him lose it. Five months of holding it in. That couldn't be healthy, she'd tried to get him to talk but he never would. He'd talk to her for hours and hours but never about Red John. Never, he just swore he was fine. Obviously not, but she would help him.

If it were anyone else, she'd hold their hand and support them from the side lines but since it was Jane, she'd be with him every step. Firstly she would need to convince him that he needed to open up to her. This whole thing made her just as crazy as he was, she knew that but she'd already told him yes. She couldn't back out.

"We're insane for this Jane."

"Patrick. And maybe we are but don't we deserve to be normal?" Lisbon almost snorted at the thought. Normal, that word again. They were anything but normal, they would never know the true definition of the word. "I've been thinking, I don't have much stuff so I could take a day from work to move in."

To the average person this probably would seem nuts but the longer Lisbon thought it over, the more she thought it could possibly be good for them. Besides they were simply engaged, no big deal. Some people had long engagements and if she managed to fix Jane during that time then she could always call off the marriage. They hadn't kissed, Jane hadn't acted as though they should and she figured it might never happen. She could handle this and everything was going to be fine. Jane would be okay, she'd make sure he was and everything would be fine. Feeling brave, she rocked forward to press a kiss to his cheek and let her lips linger against the warm skin. He didn't act shocked at all by the intimate gesture though she was. It was foreign, it was new. It felt as though it held so many possibilities but she wouldn't buy into the delusion.

"I'm going to bed, it's been a long day." There was a flicker of nervousness settling low in her belly at the thought of bed. What would that bring? She was already half way up the stairs to her room, when his voice carried from the chair positioned in front of the TV.

"I think we should set a date first. Tuesday good for you?"

"As in the one two days away or just in general?" She feared the answer.

"This Tuesday." Her brain immediately protested her actions, screaming at her to tell him this whole thing was doomed. It wouldn't work but she didn't. She simply remained silent and waited. Something told her he wasn't finished talking yet. "Nothing big, just us and the witnesses of course."

She hadn't thought of that yet, people would find out. People would have to know, she cringed at the realization. What were they going to think? How would the team react once they found out that she was technically the fiance of Patrick Jane. It even sounded strange.

"I think we should sleep on it. Talk in the morning." He simply agreed knowing that he couldn't change her mind, she was stubborn. She knew she was but part of her was hoping that come morning they'd both come to their senses and laugh about this whole arrangement. The other part of her was hoping that they wouldn't. With every stair she climbed higher wondering why she was so set on doing this. Why she was so calm about it, why she said yes, why she was feeding his delusions of a so called normal life. Who really knew what normal was anyway?

Torn and confused, the story of her life. With a sigh, she walked into her bedroom loving the feel of the soft carpet beneath her feet. The socks she wore distorted the feel, but once she tugged them off - almost tripping in the process - she reveled in the foamy feel. Curling her toes down into the fibers, she closed her eyes. She'd always liked the feel of carpet against her bare feet, a strange little quirk but a simple pleasure. She liked simple.

Jane hadn't followed her yet, she wasn't sure whether to be relieved or worried about that. He'd stayed the night before, nothing odd but she didn't know if he'd join her in the bed or not. She hated being indecisive and battling with herself but she had been since he'd asked the big question. She wanted to marry him, she didn't. She wanted him to come to bed, she didn't. It was a never ending cycle of beating herself down with reasons why she felt the way she did. After hours, she still had no clue. Her heart was seeking relief from unrequited love, she supposed. If it was technically unrequited, she didn't know. She hated being left in the dark, not knowing things. It annoyed her to no end. She'd always just assumed he'd never return her affections. She needed to stop that, assuming things, it led to dangerous scenarios. Like this one.

She wasn't getting any younger, she wasn't exactly dating material anyway. Might as well, that's what she'd been thinking. Might as well agree, she did love him after all. Even if it was a strange, twisted kind of love that she wasn't sure defined the four letter word. It wasn't candy hearts and flowers, it wasn't pretty at all. It was dark, damaged. It left her aching for him constantly, at least this way she could keep him close. She'd make sure he didn't go anywhere, didn't do anything to jeopardize his life. He tended to be reckless and though he'd seemed fine in the months after Red John's death, she worried every second of the day.

Undressing for bed, she peeled her shirt off over her head and tossed it into the pile of dirty clothes located behind her door. She'd need to do laundry soon. She flung her bra in the same direction as she headed for her dresser. She hadn't forgotten that Jane was lurking downstairs, she was just too tired to care and hell according to him, they were living together now anyway. If he had a problem with her parading around her room topless then he could get over it. She wasn't going to change her habits for him, for this arrangement. That's what she was going to call it until she found out if any real feelings were involved on his part. Friendship didn't count and neither did a strong fondness. The nagging little voice had come back, the one taunting her with the possibility that he was replacing what he missed. His minds way of coping. Maybe he was.

After pulling an oversize shirt from the third drawer and letting her fingers brush over the worn cotton, she pulled it on. There was a good side to all of this, she would know where he went after work. She wouldn't need to spend countless nights fighting with her blankets and hoping he was okay. Hoping that he wasn't wallowing in guilt somewhere. Pants unbuttoned, she shoved her thumbs in the waistband and pulled them down just as a hand wrapped around her elbow.

Jolting from the shock of the touch, she cursed and moved away on instinct. She hadn't heard him sneak up on her, she'd been too wrapped up in her thoughts. Her feet tangled in the legs of her pants, making her stumble and crash into the dresser. Her stomach slammed into the edge before she managed to brace herself, knocking the air from her lungs and leaving her gasping. The hand that startled her rested on her back patting lightly, clumsily.

"Sorry." His voice was soft, barely heard over her ragged deep breaths. The pain radiating from her middle was making it hard to concentrate on anything - there would definitely be bruising - but she felt when he tugged her back against his chest. She was aware of his touch on her stomach, warm through the thin fabric of her shirt and easing the pain. It made her really notice the weight of the ring on her finger. Would she ever be able to say no to him?

He was more touchy now, but that was about the only change so far. Though for her it was a sensory overload, she wasn't used to anything like this. She didn't normally have a man pressing against her back, with his hands splayed over her abs. Just hours ago she would have thought this was the craziest thing - to stand like this with Jane - but now she knew there were things more insane. Like becoming engaged to him for instance. Her breathing was still heavy, ragged but it was more from the way he was stroking the area she'd just injured than anything.

"Patrick," She felt warm - heat rushing through her veins - his name riding out on a sigh. Her eyes fluttered closed when her hair was suddenly pushed to the side and lips pressed against the back of her neck. Not that she minded and not that it should matter now but he'd definitely never done that before.

"This isn't about Red John. I need to be with you." Need, not want. The word actually stung. Maybe she should have believed it to be a completely romantic statement and she probably would have if the situation were different. If he wasn't Jane and she wasn't Lisbon, she'd believe him. She'd turn, kiss him, take him to bed and be happy. A beautiful man had asked her to marry him, she had a ring on her finger and to the outside world it would seem she was a lucky woman.

He'd said he bought her the ring months ago but she didn't know what that meant. She was worried about his mental health to be honest but she didn't want to say anything. What did it say about her if she did? She was in this too now. He stepped away from her, letting her turn to face him. She had to keep repeating a mantra in her head, she had a feeling it would become her gospel. _This could be good for them, this could be good for them. _She didn't know how.

"I could use a pillow, my dear. Couch isn't so comfy without one." The couch? He was really sleeping on her couch when he'd just moved himself in and became her fiance, really? It was a little off putting but a little relieving all the same. The arrangement would probably be easier if he continued sleeping downstairs. She was a glutton for punishment, she really was. She'd known she couldn't have Jane, she'd come to terms with that and now that she could have him in her home and claim him as hers, she jumped for it. This wasn't a typical engagement, it wouldn't be a typical marriage so why was she actually okay with that? What happened to the woman who had urges and needs - the one who wouldn't go on another date with Mr. Slow? Where'd she go? Why was she content to do this with Jane knowing that possibly the only thing she'd get from him were these little touches every now and then?

"Y-you can stay up here." It would be easier if he didn't, but she didn't really want easy. Anything involving Jane was never easy.

"Not tonight." He walked away, swiping one of her pillows and she was left standing even more confused than she had been before. Why not this night? Would a different one change his tune?

**a/n: Confused yet? I'm trying to get everyone as confused as Lisbon. I wrote this as a birthday present to myself. Hee. Next chapter: What does Tuesday bring?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**A/N: While this story is so complicated, it's the easiest for me to write....I don't know how that works. Meh. I tried analyzing it but it gave me a headache. Firstly, the reviews for this have been amazing. Honestly I had huge doubts about this one. I just wasn't sure but I've grown to love it dearly in just 3 chapters....now 4. :) Things become a little clearer in this one. We get a look into Jane's thoughts again. Kinda funny how he's not freaked like Lisbon. **

It was Tuesday, a marriage would take place before the day was over. That was the first thing that entered Jane's mind when he woke in Lisbon's room, the sun just beginning to rise. He wasn't sleeping on the couch anymore, that had only been for the first night. He'd migrated into her personal cove the next night, though he wasn't lying with her. He wasn't curled up in warm blankets on a soft bed. He couldn't feel the heat of her body, or her soft breaths on his skin. He was down on the floor practically murdering his back and for a stupid reason. He was afraid. Yes, afraid. Sure, he'd asked her to marry him. That was easy, but this was harder.

He knew that he should be in bed with her, he should have at least kissed her by this point but he hasn't. Not on the lips anyway. He was perfectly fine kissing her hand, her neck, her cheek, those were easy. Those required no thought whatsoever. Staring up at the white ceiling, he sighed. Lisbon was right, there was a reason for all of this but she was way off. It didn't have anything to do with Red John's demise, well maybe it kind of did. He did love her, he really did. It shocked him but it was true and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn't want to. He wanted to continue to love her for the rest of his life.

It wasn't hard to see that she was confused by everything the last three days had brought on. Her eyes were constantly glazed in confusion and hurt. He was hurting her by not telling her the real reason there was a ring on her finger. He didn't know how to say it. He didn't know how to tell her that he was terrified he'd lose her to someone else if he waited. It was horribly selfish but he didn't want dating, he wanted marriage. He was afraid that if he didn't jump in immediately that they'd end up drifting apart and she could simply walk away. If they were bound together legally then it was more concrete. There were steps you had to take to get out of it, a long process and he knew she'd hate that. She wouldn't want to go through a divorce unless it was absolutely necessary. He'd try to keep her happy so it wouldn't be necessary, he needed her. She kept him sane, she kept him from slipping into a dark place but most of all, she made him remember happiness.

There hadn't been much of that yet, but he was trying. He was rusty on the whole loving and marrying someone thing. He knew he should probably at least sleep in the same bed as her, but they hadn't ever been on a date. He wasn't sure he or she would be comfortable. He didn't want to be lonely anymore, he wanted to feel a woman next to him while he slept. He wanted to wake someone with soft kisses and then spend the day in bed. He wanted to be married again and he knew that it should be with someone he loved so he asked Lisbon. It seemed logical to him, though he knew she was questioning his sanity. The kissing, the touching, all of that would come when it was time but for now he was content in knowing that she was going to be his wife. She would be Teresa Jane after the day was over, if she changed her name that is.

It was obvious to him that she was second guessing herself, thinking of telling him she couldn't do it but it was also obvious that she wanted to. She wanted it just as badly as he did, she was just as terrified by that as he was of her leaving him but she wanted it. He could see lust burning in her gaze every time he got too close, or touched her with light fingers. He'd ghost them down her neck sometimes, toying with the collar of her shirt but he never took it any further. They weren't ready for that. No matter how badly they wanted it, they just couldn't. He refused to do anything until she stopped questioning his motives, he wouldn't let himself get carried away until he was sure that she was no longer worried about his sanity. He was fine. Why couldn't she see that? Why did she always assume the worst of him? Why didn't anything he said ease her troubled mind?

He tended to avoid problems, yes, and he'd been doing a good job of avoiding the elephant in the room. So had she. They were going to marry and they hadn't talked to each other since dinner the night before. Lisbon was growing more tense by every second that passed, he'd heard her toss endlessly all night but she wouldn't talk to him. He supposed he couldn't say anything about her avoidance, since he was doing the same thing. He just didn't know how to explain it to her, he didn't know how to say that he was marrying her because he loved her, because he was sick of being alone and it seemed like the right thing to do.

He hated going back to his empty home, staring at the mocking red smile now that the man who put it there was dead. He didn't like the cold feel of loneliness that set in once he fully realized he had no plan. He had no idea what he was going to do - he didn't like feeling like that. Lisbon made it better. He was trying to make her see that, make her believe it but so far she just thought he'd lost his mind. Maybe he had but he didn't think so. It was moments like these that he remembered his wife, he had to convince Lisbon that he wasn't using her to replace a memory. She could never be a replacement. She was simply the woman he'd grown to love, the one he had to keep. Whether she ever came around to his reasoning or not, he had to marry her. He had to or she'd be gone. Just like everything else he'd loved.

The rustling of blankets tore him from the thoughts he was lost in, bringing back to the uncomfortable floor he was lying on. He was too old for this. Stretching against the makeshift pallet, he heard the woman in the bed groan. She didn't like waking up before the alarm went off, he found it cute.

"Jane...you awake?" She was peeking over the edge of the mattress before he even managed an answer. She looked tired, he knew she would. Her hair was a complete mess but it didn't bother him a bit. It'd be hell to brush through, he hated that he was the cause for her exhausted appearance. She wasn't sleeping well at night because of him.

"Morning."

"Hi."

"Ready for today?" He knew what her answer would be by way she suddenly found something interesting to pick at on her sheets. There was nothing there, her sheets looked pristine and freshly washed. She was simply trying to avoid his gaze.

"Why don't we just wait awhile? A few months at least."

"I don't want to wait, Teresa. I want you to be my wife." Her ragged sigh filled the room as she rested her head against the edge of the mattress. Though mumbled, he heard her excuse clearly.

"We don't have any witnesses."

"I already took care of that." He'd called the night before, telling Cho to meet him at the courthouse in the morning. He didn't give a reason, just hung up and then called Rigsby to tell him the same, though he asked him to bring Grace along. They only needed two witnesses but he didn't want to leave her out. Everyone was in for a surprise today. Plus Lisbon would thank him for this one day. They weren't just her teammates and she needed to realize that.

"I..." Knowing there was another lame reason about to fall from her lips, he sat up with a groan and rested his hand on the back of her head. She jerked under the sudden touch, but lifted her gaze to meet his after a few seconds. Jane could tell she was on the verge of freaking out, he supposed every woman did on their wedding day. Though technically they weren't having a wedding. They were simply eloping but still. To ease the fear he could see in her eyes, he gently caressed her bare neck. Dipping his fingers down to the collar of her shirt, he leaned in. Her breathing changed immediately, becoming more forced with each intake of air. She was expecting it, but he knew the barely there brush of his lips against hers wouldn't satisfy either of them. It was a quick press of mouths, lasting no longer than two seconds but long enough to feel the softness of her lips, the warmth of them. Long enough for her to rest her hands against his chest and whimper a protest when he quickly pulled away.

"Let's get ready."

"Fine." That wasn't their first kiss. He wouldn't count it as one since it was something akin to the way really good friends might greet each other. He knew they'd kiss again before the day was over, they had to for the whole marriage thing but he also knew that wouldn't be their first kiss either. The one that counts would happen when Lisbon stopped doubting everything. She had to stop or nothing they ever done would mean anything.

* * *

Terrified out of her mind, Lisbon stood next to Jane in front of a judge. This wasn't anything she'd ever imagined. She never pictured this, not with Jane. Not with her colleagues standing behind them feeling just as confused as she was. Yeah, that whole incident had gone well. Jane had invited them without telling them anything. She hadn't realized that by witnesses he meant her team. She wasn't comfortable with them knowing about this. In fact, she'd thought of keeping it hidden as long as possible but it became impossible the second Jane had announced to the three agents why they were there. She wanted to run right then. She wanted out, she didn't want to see their expressions or hear the questions that came out of their mouths but she had to.

They'd had several questions, a wide range that covered everything she never wanted anyone to ask. Things about her personal life, about how long she and Jane had been together. Jane sailed through that question for her, though he lied. He didn't tell the team that they'd never dated or that they'd only been engaged for three days. She'd never been so embarrassed in her life. She was a professional, she was the boss and she'd been completely humiliated in front of her subordinates. She could still feel the heat in her cheeks. She could feel eyes burning into the back of her skull and she just wanted it all to go away. She wanted to be back in her bed, with Jane still sleeping on the floor. It didn't matter that the three people in the audience were happy for them. They should have waited a few weeks, months if it were up to her. They weren't ready for this.

She hadn't been able to run, her legs wouldn't cooperate. Instead they'd led her to this. She wasn't even listening, she was just breathing. Hard, raggedly. She was so nervous and she knew that if she didn't calm down she was going to hyperventilate and pass out. She could feel herself getting dizzy already. Jane's hand was tracing light circles on her back but that only made things worse. Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt were behind her but that intensified it as well. She didn't want them there, she didn't like it. She hated their reactions when Jane had told them, she hated that she had somehow been coerced into something so life changing and yet she couldn't get her legs to move. She couldn't get her mouth to say anything to object the whole thing and when Jane took her hand to slip on a golden band, she realized how permanent this was.

The only way out was divorce unless she stopped them now. She hadn't heard a word anyone was saying, she was way too caught up in the loudness of her own mind but she knew what happened next. Silence filled the air, she had to say something. She could end it. She could but when Jane's searching eyes met hers, so clear and haunting, she uttered two simple words that changed it all.

"I do." She could feel her eyes widen once she realized what she'd said, once she realized what happened after that. She was staring up at Jane, terrified out of her mind. Her heart was pounding, her breathing still labored but for some reason she actually felt a little happy. She felt a fraction of what she supposed most would feel while getting married. There was even a collection of tears beginning to cloud the sight of the consultant's smile. She knew that was a byproduct of the love she had for him.

She had no idea why she'd failed. Why she hadn't put a stop to this crazy arrangement. Though she thought that it might have something to do with the man leaning towards her. Anyone else and she would have run. He wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her close. She hadn't heard anything sounding remotely like a _'you may kiss the bride' _but again she hadn't been listening. She hadn't listened to any of it, she blocked it all out and when his mouth met hers for a second time that day, it resembled the first kiss. Short. Barely there and something that she wasn't sure even counted as an actual kiss. It was more like a kiss you give to family members, brothers and sisters. That kind of thing.

Cho and Rigsby let out a low whistle while Van Pelt awed at them. Lisbon forced a smile so they wouldn't catch on to the fact that this wasn't a real marriage, it wasn't the typical kind. It wasn't one where they kissed, cuddled - they didn't even hug. It was one of lust filled looks, soft touches and no satisfaction. Nothing more than Jane sleeping on her bedroom floor. Nothing more than a strong friendship, strong attraction. Jane seemed happy though, he was smiling softly at her and it was just enough to make her nerves ease a bit.

They immediately came back when her actions caught up to her. She was married. Not only was she married, it was to Patrick Jane and her team had witnessed it. Work would never be the same. Work. They all should have been there twenty minutes ago. She was married. She married Jane. What had she done?

**a/n: For anyone who read Melt, the sequel 'Dissolve' is now up. **

**Next chapter: **

**"You're my wife and I love you. Why can't you be happy with that?" Lisbon was slightly shocked by the edge in his voice and a certain arrangement of three words that he'd never said to her before. The sharp tone wasn't something she was used to from him but her heart contradicted the anger she wanted to feel by fluttering the second she heard 'I love you' fall from his lips.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Do I own the Mentalist? Pssh, you're funny.**

**A/N: Update! Update! Update! It's all I ever do anymore. I'm not complaining really, I enjoy it. Good news is that if I keep updating like this then it'll be done soon. :D Lisbon is incredibly stubborn...be happy already gah!**

**Thanks to all my anonymous reviewers: Mia66 , dogeatdog , simonisthecutestmentalist , and scribe80. Thank you all so much . **

Just four days into being married and the tension was becoming unbearable. Lisbon had been nervous the first night, their so called wedding night but apparently she had no reason to be. They spent the hours before bed watching TV on different ends of the couch, unwinding after a long day at work, neither making a sound. Which is exactly what they were doing now. Four days later and the routine hadn't changed. It was definitely not what most couples would have done. It was distinctly them and really starting to annoy Lisbon. She was married to the man and he was still sleeping on her bedroom floor for crying out loud. She had no idea why he'd opted for the cold uncomfortable spot in the first place but she knew that she wished he'd give it up.

The worst part was that is had only been seven days of technically being together and she was questioning her sanity. Surely if she were truly sane, she wouldn't have agreed to this. Not even using lame excuses like that it might help Jane somehow. She wasn't hoping to help him, she was hoping for a real romance. A real marriage. That's what she'd wanted since she'd said yes to his proposal. Only seven days, only four of being married and she was verging on tying Jane to her kitchen table to make him talk. She'd thought he'd come around on his own since she'd actually taken the leap but he hadn't. He was still as vague as ever when it came to his feelings while she felt as though hers were right on her sleeve.

He was so good at reading her, she just assumed he knew how she felt. He'd dropped several indicators that he did. Maybe though, just maybe that was their problem they both just assumed things. Lisbon knew she had questioned everything every way possible, she'd made up excuses and plausible reasons why things had happened so quickly but she never asked him. She never truly took the time to ask why he didn't want to date a few months before they chose to do anything more. She never asked why he felt the need to move things so quickly. Yeah, she'd asked why he had proposed but that was it. That was as far as she'd taken the line of questioning and she realized now that she needed to dig deeper for both their sakes. It was one thing to try and convince herself that she'd be okay with the arrangement they were in but it was something entirely different to actually believe it. She didn't, not deep down. She knew there had to be something more or she'd never be happy. She'd been torturing herself with so many questions, it was time to ask them.

Swiftly grabbing up the remote that was lying on the cushion between them, Lisbon pressed the power button and watched as the screen flickered to black. The sound that had been filling the space was gone and she could feel the strain as they both searched for something to say. The rings on her left hand caught her attention for what felt like the billionth time in just a few hours. She never stopped, they were so beautiful and they just looked like they belonged but she knew better. They would never belong until she was in a loving relationship.

"Jane..."

"We've been through this countless times Teresa. It's Patrick, besides it'll get confusing when I want to call you Mrs. Jane."

"Technically, I kept my last name so you can't call me that and how would it get confusing when there's a pre-fix in front of it?"

"You kept your last name for professional purposes. You didn't want the work you'd accomplished no longer linked to you by way of name, but in social context you are indeed Mrs. Jane." With a sigh that acknowledged he was right, Lisbon turned her attention to the watch on her wrist. It was late. Of course it was, it always was when she decided to try and talk to him. She knew it was her way of finding an easy escape if need be. If it came down to it, she could simply say she was tired and going to bed.

"Patrick, we can't keep avoiding the unavoidable."

"The fact that we've been avoiding it makes it avoidable, doesn't it?" Turning to rest her back against the arm of the couch, she pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. She was so tired. Tired of acting like everything was okay when she had so many questions eating away at her day after day. "Okay, I know you have things you feel the need to say, so go on...just say it."

"We're married." Of all the things she thought would come out of her mouth, stating something so obvious wasn't one of them. "You sleep on the floor and I can't help but ask myself why I'm doing this. Why are we doing this?"

"I thought we were passed this."

"I just need to know why you couldn't wait a few months, why we couldn't date or something before just jumping into something so permanent."

"Teresa, I told you. It's the same reason you said yes. The same reason you said 'I do' when you could have stopped the whole thing." Her reason was that she loved him and she was selfish. She doubted that his were the same or maybe she was simply afraid that they actually were. There went her head again, coming up with insane ideas to rationalize what they were doing. Maybe she really was insane.

"This is what I'm talking about Jane! You're never serious with me!"

"I'm being serious."

"No you're not." The irritation in her voice was evident and she was proud of herself for actually prodding further when she normally would have just resorted back into the torturous silence of not knowing. "It doesn't matter to me what this really is, as long as you just tell me. It's fine if it's about Red John...I want to help."

"You're my wife and I love you. Why can't you be happy with that?" Lisbon was slightly shocked by the edge in his voice and a certain arrangement of three words that he'd never said to her before. The sharp tone wasn't something she was used to hearing from him but her heart contradicted the anger she wanted to feel by fluttering the second she heard 'I love you' fall from his lips. She tried to sink further back into her couch, further away from Jane but it wasn't possible. Her back was pressed as far as it could go against the arm and she felt her breath hitch in her throat at the intensity burning in his eyes.

"Why can't you be honest with me?"

"I am being honest with you." She wasn't sure she believed him, that's what this whole argument was really about; not believing. Her heart was trying it's hardest to win the battle but her head wouldn't give in. Her brain's defense was weakened when he inched his way closer - when he was crawling over to her side of the couch and resting his hands on the arm, blocking her exit. She felt trapped but free at the same time. It didn't make any sense. Nothing did anymore. Nothing, but she didn't care. His eyes were the only thing she focused on and they were growing darker by the second. She knew by the heat flooding her body and the burning in her cheeks, that hers were doing the same. She couldn't hide it and she didn't want to. She wanted him to see, she wanted him to realize this wasn't a game for her.

Her pulse quickened the second he leaned closer. She could feel his warm breath fanning across her face, taunting her to give in. She wanted to, she wanted to close what little distance there was between them but she couldn't. It wasn't right. None of it was right and yet her eyelids were fluttering, struggling to stay open. Her lips parted automatically when his nose brushed against hers, she gave up the fight and closed her eyes. Despite arguing with him and knowing they shouldn't, she wanted to. She wanted him. She wanted to show him how much she loved him even if it was taking advantage of him. Perhaps it really wasn't, he seemed to want it too. Her stomach twisted at the thought.

With her eyes clamped tightly and her chest heaving with each breath, she let one hand reach out. Her left one, the one with the reminders. She didn't open her eyes to see, she didn't care where it landed and a sigh left her lungs when it came in contact with the fabric of his vest. He was close, too close but he wasn't moving any closer. She couldn't think with him like that, she couldn't get her mind to comprehend anything other than the feel of his breath coming out in puffs against her lips, the feel of his nose touching hers and the heat radiating from his body. They'd been on the verge of a screaming match, she knew they had been and now she didn't know what they were doing but she couldn't form the words to protest. There was no moving away, he was too hypnotic. She couldn't even will her eyes to open or her mouth to close.

"I love you. Why can't you believe that?" The words came out breathless, barely heard and her heart constricted painfully in her chest at the softness in his voice. This was the down side to marrying him, if it didn't help him then she was sure it'd break them both. "I wouldn't have married you if I didn't, Teresa."

She'd never had someone murmur her name so softly against her lips, never felt the jolt of pleasure it sent through her body at the light touch but just as soon as she'd given in and let the sensation overwhelm her, it was gone. Replaced by the cold air. Her eyes flew open immediately to see Jane heading up the stairs. Her breathing was still off kilter, heavy and labored but she cautiously went after him. Their conversation wasn't over. If anything it had just begun. He'd just told her he loved her, he'd said it twice and the second time she started to believe that maybe in his own way, he did.

"Patrick I..."

"I'm tired. I'm going to bed." According to him the conversation was over and only because of the defeat in his voice, did she decide that she'd let him be. Just for tonight. It was a lousy excuse that she knew all too well. It was her excuse and instead of stopping him once they reached the top of the stairs, she let him wander into the bathroom. Without another word, she headed for her bedroom and didn't bother with turning on the light. What was the point if they were going to sleep?

Her watch made it onto the dresser, as she thought of what the night would be like. Another round of tossing most likely, that seemed to be her nightly ritual anymore. She could hear running water as she jerked her shirt off with more force than necessary and let her thoughts drift to what had just happened downstairs. The piece of cloth hit the wall and dropped into her growing pile of clothes. A few seconds and her pants were following the same direction. She really should get on the laundry. Jane's added articles of clothing made it collect even faster than she was used to.

Glancing down at her bare stomach, she gently prodded the bruise she had from her encounter with the dresser. It was yellowing, starting to fade and no longer tender to the touch, much to her relief. Satisfied that she was healing fine, she started rifling through drawers for something to sleep in. She really did need to get on that mountain of clothes behind her door but her mind hadn't let her relax enough in the last few days to even consider it. She'd do it tomorrow. Hopefully it would give her an excuse to stay away from Jane for awhile. She needed some alone time, some real time to herself that didn't involve work or Jane.

Her search for night clothes came to an end when she heard Jane waltz into the room. In the last two days he'd managed to catch her in her undergarments at least three times but they were married and neither mentioned it. That didn't mean it didn't affect Lisbon that she was standing in her bra and panties for Jane to see but it was her fault. She always changed in her, well now 'their', room. It made sense that he'd see her. She just never expected to feel nervous about it. She might not have been the best looking woman on the planet or anything but she wasn't ashamed of her body. Except when it came to Jane, she always thought he'd point out the flaws. He did it everyday. Pointing out things in peoples lives that they didn't want known, a flaw.

"Bruise looks a lot better."

"Yeah, doesn't hurt anymore." Jane stood by the edge of the bed, staring, making Lisbon feel like she should at least cross her arms in an attempt to hide. "Patrick, about this thing, I know why I agreed. I know that I..."

"Here," Bundled up white and blue fabric came flying her direction, she caught it easily. His shirt, she was slightly confused. "Something to sleep in."

"Thanks but I need to tell you that I..."

"I think we've talked enough for one night." Lisbon felt like screaming at him for pushing to avoid it another day. She needed him to know why she was married to him and he needed to listen. She realized that he was angry with her for their earlier argument but she didn't want to just forget about it. He was acting like he did, grabbing a pillow from the bed and dropping it onto the floor. She was tired of seeing him suffer by sleeping down there, she'd rather him be on the couch than the floor. She'd much more prefer he join her in the bed. It'd be better for his back and maybe then they'd both get some sleep, instead of listening to each others restless sighs and incessant tossing. She wasn't expecting anything from him. Nothing intimate she was just tired of him sleeping on an uncomfortable floor when there was no need.

"At least sleep in the bed, Patrick." His back was turned towards her now, bare skin glistening in the moonlight filtering through her curtains. She was working her arms through the appropriate holes in his shirt when he glanced over his shoulder at her. She was tired of acting like this with him, the confusion was exhausting so with a light smirk, she tried to lighten the mood. "You're my...my husband and you won't even sleep in bed with me?"

Her plan backfired when he let out a hollow laugh. It'd taken her a few seconds to get used to referring to Jane as her husband but she hadn't expected him to laugh at her efforts. She was trying. Did he not see that? This wasn't exactly a walk in the park for either of them.

"You're my wife and you don't even believe that I love you. I think we're even. Goodnight." Their relationship was backwards, the fighting and lies had started immediately instead of that glorious honeymoon stage that Lisbon had heard so much about. She knew it was the circumstances but it was still different from what she'd thought it would be. Part of her didn't even want to wear his shirt to bed anymore while the other part made her leave it on. This was the first night he'd offered it to her and she wasn't giving it back now. It smelled like him, it was still warm from when he'd been wearing it and despite how they'd been acting towards each other, it reminded her of why she loved him.

"Fine. Sleep in the floor then but listen, I agreed to this marriage because I thought if it was your way of dealing with certain things then I'd try and help, because I was hopeful that maybe it would turn into something that classifies as an actual marriage instead of this weird and crazy arrangement between two friends. So much for thinking I guess." She didn't give him a chance to say anything further, she walked out of the room and headed for the bathroom without bothering to even look back at him. Tonight was not going the way she'd hoped. Call her dumb but she'd been hoping it would be easy. She'd been hoping that they'd talk and that everything would be okay, that Jane would at least tell her the truth. She wanted to believe him, she really did but she didn't know how.

**a/n: This is my favorite chapter so far. I think I just like it when they're all jerk-ish towards each other. Now to update Temptation, Easy Way Out and Family Revelations. :D **

**Next: _It was the fingers dancing across her bare skin and sliding down her side that sent a shiver through her entire body. Lisbon wasn't used to feeling fuzzy and cloudy, she couldn't clear her mind. She couldn't think straight with him touching her like that. The sensations only intensified when she felt his lips press against her ear, heard his voice so soft and sweet. _**

_**"You're beautiful."**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Not owning jack crap. **

**A/N: Okay, so I realize that I'm completely neglecting Temptation and Easy Way Out...I promise I have the chapters half way finished, it's just this story has taken my imagination hostage and is refusing to share. I'm hoping to get updates for the other two up soon...and the next chapter of Dissolve too. I'll probably upload it tomorrow. :D This little fic, was supposed to only be 6 chapters but it grew...ugh!**

**This chapter grew also...my writer's slum is apparently fixed for the time being. So enjoy a long update. Also, I'm dedicating this to Rina and Patrick...congrats newlyweds!!**

**Warning: This story is T for a reason. **

Eight days of marriage. Eight long days and still no progress. Lisbon tried each night to get Jane to sleep in the bed and every night he declined the offer. It'd been four days since their first argument. She liked to think of it as four days since he'd almost kissed her but she didn't know if that had actually been his intention or not. It was all guess work with him. That was why for the second time in just a few days, she was tossing clothes into the washing machine. Doing laundry had been a nice getaway from Jane and she was using it again even though there really weren't very many dirty clothes. It didn't matter, she wanted to think and there was one place she still loved to be while doing so. When she was a kid, after her mother had died, she would crawl up on the washing machine after loading it with laundry and just sit.

She wasn't sure if it was the slight rocking motion of the appliance or something else but she just liked to sit on top. It cleared her head and gave her the alone time she needed. The last time she'd done it, she stayed in her little laundry room until all the clothes were folded and Jane hadn't come looking for her. They'd been awkward all that day, it was understandable though. That had been the day after their fight. They hadn't talked but things became less tense with each day that passed and now they were back to simply and silently coexisting in her apartment. Though there were still several things she wanted to ask him, she didn't. It hadn't gone over so well the first time.

She'd left him in the kitchen doing the dishes, knowing he wouldn't ask questions or miss her while she was busy. She rather liked that part of married life, the house work was split. He liked helping and always did so without waiting for her to ask, he probably knew she never would. She'd do all of it without complaining but it was rather nice knowing that she didn't have to.

With a sigh, she hoisted herself up on top of the washing machine and closed her eyes. She let the troubles of the day drift away, drawing her knees up to her chest. Aside from the emotional whirlwind, she really didn't mind being married to Jane. As the days passed, she found her defenses breaking down. She'd tried to stop asking herself so many doubtful questions but it hadn't completely worked yet. Minor setback. She was, however, starting to believe that maybe the whole thing wasn't that far fetched. They were close, they'd worked together a long time and she could recall several late night meals they'd shared. It was possible that he'd counted those as dates. Of course that didn't explain why he was still sleeping on the floor or why they still hadn't kissed. She didn't count the two the day of their so called wedding. She could still feel the brief touch of his warm lips but there hadn't been any emotion behind them at all. It had all seemed routine and rehearsed, so those kisses didn't count.

"What are you doing?" Eyes flying open at the intrusion, Lisbon felt her heart leap into her throat. She had been so sure that he wouldn't come looking for her. He hadn't the last time. "You don't have to hide all the time."

"M'not." He didn't need to know that she really was, though she suspected he already did. "Just thinking. I uh, I used to always sit on top of the washing machine to think after my mother died. Kind of nice to do it again every once in awhile."

Rolling her bottom lip between her teeth, she thought of how random that little bit of information seemed and how easy it had been to let it slip. Tearing her gaze away from Jane, she looked down at her hands, spreading them out and studying her palms while chewing lightly on the plump flesh still trapped by her teeth. She probably shouldn't have said that, she felt as though she'd just gave away part of herself and for some unknown reason she was nervous about it; about what he might think.

"Mind company?" Though it was phrased as a question, he never waited for the answer before hopping up next to her. The machine wobbled, creaking and making a popping noise that had Lisbon grasping the edge tightly and trying not to laugh. She was failing miserably but it felt good. She hadn't found anything funny in days.

"You break my washing machine and you're buying me a new one."

"We're married." She almost hadn't heard him but the soft gaze he was directing towards her and the gentle tilt of his lips made her realize what he had said. "You don't have to feel like I'll think less of you or judge you in any way when you share something private."

"I-I don't feel like..."

"Yes you do. Just now, you were worried about what I was going to think because you spilled something personal without realizing it." He was right and he was entirely too close. Lisbon assumed she wasn't the usual wife, she didn't like being in confined spaces with her husband. Well perhaps she'd like it if they weren't so cautious around each other, walking on egg shells constantly and avoiding the obvious. The top of her washer counted as a confined space, and it felt entirely too small since he'd joined her.

"I, okay maybe but I also just realized how little we actually know about each other. We rushed into..."

"No, don't start that again. We didn't rush into anything and you know it. You wanted this just as badly as I did, you want more," Mouth open, ready to disagree, Lisbon physically flinched away when he tried to grab her hand. He was persistent in the chase and managed to wrap his fingers around her wrist before she could get it very far. The fluttery feeling low in her belly slammed her senses into overdrive, this was what she'd been working so hard to avoid. She didn't mind being around Jane but she didn't like that her body responded so well to his touch, only to be let down each time when he pulled away. "I can see it in your eyes Teresa. Even now, as you're trying to run away from it, I can see that you want me to kiss you."

"Patrick...let me go." He didn't listen to her, he didn't release her. Instead she found her body aflame with desire when his free hand reached out, his thumb ghosting over her lips. She felt like she did when they were on her couch just days ago. She knew the heat in her face, meant she was flushed and she knew that he didn't seem aware of the tears gathering in her eyes. His gaze was fixated on the path his thumb was tracing over her bottom lip. She wasn't aware of them either until his features started to blur. She didn't want him to pull away, he was right. She wanted the kiss, she wanted to be held by him, she wanted her husband to love her through the night but things just weren't that easy for them.

"I want you to believe me. I want you to know that when I tell you how I feel, I mean it." She'd thought he had forgotten, part of her hoped he had but obviously that wasn't the case. She was a little ashamed of the fact that she was the one pushing for him to open up and she was the one who refused to do the same. It hurt to be that close to him, it hurt because she wasn't used to feeling like that around Jane. She was used to banter and conversations, she missed those but her body liked the close proximity. Her skin became hypersensitive, feeling everything from the softness of his fingers to the pressure of his knee against her thigh. The sensations kept reminding her that she hadn't been with a man in a long time, a very long time and she was reacting like any red-blooded female would when the man they loved touched them, caressed them. He made things so difficult without even trying.

Through the moisture in her eyes, she could see that he believed what he'd said. He believed the words that left his mouth and with a shaky breath, she shook her head. This was not how things were supposed to happen, this wasn't how she pictured their marriage to be. She'd thought they would be fine, friends with a strong enough bond to keep them satisfied and everything would be the same as it was before he'd proposed. The only difference would be the living arrangements. She'd been so wrong. So dumb. The way his fingers trailed along the curve of her mouth, made her realize that they would never be the same.

"Loving me as a friend, a person, your boss...that's great Patrick. It is but it's not the same as a romantic love and I'm not trying to make you think that you have to feel a certain way. I just want everything back to the way it used to be."

"That's not..."

"But for what it's worth, I-I do love you. More than I thought possible." With a tear trailing down her cheek, she softly kissed his fingertips and managed to wrestle her hand from his hold. "I'm gonna take a bath, can you finish the laundry?"

"Yeah," Sliding down from the washer, she felt bad for leaving him with the work but she needed to be alone and she knew that anything involving showers or baths kept him away. Her heart sank a little when his head dropped. They couldn't live like this and yet she didn't want to stop. They were perfectly fine as long as they kept conversation pleasantly bland and stayed out of each others way, but she wasn't happy with that. She wanted to confront things, she wanted him to prove that he loved her as more than a friend, she wanted him to stop her from walking away but he didn't.

She waited to hear his voice, with each step she took, she waited but it didn't come. She wanted him to chase after her, prove that he married her for the right reasons. She wanted so desperately to believe him but she couldn't, not without proof. Maybe that was horrible, maybe it was stupid but she was so used to unrequited love and heartache that she didn't know how to simply let him in; to believe him without skepticism.

Ignoring the uncomfortable pang in her chest, she went straight for the bathroom once she'd climbed the stairs. Her tub was calling her name, she needed to relax and a hot soak would work wonders. She was hoping it would also help her sleep, ease her achy muscles into submitting to the exhaustion she could feel seeping into her bones. Battling her emotions - Jane and still acting fine at work - was beginning to take a horrible toll. She'd been snappy all week, with everyone and she knew she owed Van Pelt an apology.

The poor rookie had simply been confused about what to call her. The team didn't know that she hadn't changed her name, they didn't know anything. They still thought that she and Jane were happy, that they'd married out of love. She almost laughed at the thought as the door clicked shut. Grace had come into her office to give her some files and asked if she should still call her Lisbon or if she preferred Jane now. With everything happening in her home life, the headache she'd been struggling with for days and the case, she'd jumped the red head. Needless to say her entire team now knew that she was still Lisbon, that she hadn't taken her husband's name. It wasn't hyphenated, it wasn't mixed in any way, there was no 'Jane' in her name at all and they'd all been pretty stunned by her outburst. Well, all except Van Pelt who knew why she'd stormed into the bullpen in the first place.

With a defeated sigh, she turned on the hot water and blocked the drain. She probably should try to keep her emotions from bubbling up at work, she had thought she'd been doing a good job until that point. She'd try harder. She didn't want everyone to know that her marriage was a farce or that it was already in shambles. Peeling her clothes from her body, she wondered if they already knew. They were smart, perceptive. If they hadn't figured it out yet, they would soon. Going through the motions of undressing became mechanical, no thought put into it whatsoever as she occasionally wiped away a stray tear, the man could really work her up into an emotional wreck.

She'd told him she loved him, she had actually admitted it aloud and although it made the heaviness she'd been feeling ease, it also added to the topics they'd probably avoid. It's what they'd been doing, dragging things to the surface just to push them back down when it became too difficult to deal with. They were both so good at it, it's what they'd been doing for years. They were anything but the perfect couple and still, they were acting like it wasn't odd to be married.

Watching the steam rise from the water, she added some cold to even out the temperature and then shed the last article of clothing covering her skin. As soon as the panties hit the floor, she was stepping over the edge of the tub, submersing one leg and then easing the rest of her body down into the hot bath.

She'd showered before leaving for work, she wasn't particularly dirty but she wanted to feel the heat relaxing her tired muscles, feel the water gently lapping at her with every move she made. Slowly leaning back, she rested her neck against the cool bathtub and let out a deep sigh, verging on becoming a moan. The contrasting hot and cold made her shiver, goosebumps appearing on her arms, until she lowered them into the water and rested them over her stomach. The hot soak was what she'd been needing, it felt amazing but she was missing the bubbles.

It'd been so long since she'd taken the time to sit in the bath that she hadn't bought any bubbles in awhile. She was a woman, she enjoyed a long bubble bath every once in awhile, they really were quite the thing after a hard day. With a longing look towards the door, she made a mental note to add bubble bath to her store list and then closed her eyes to fully enjoy the warmth, to forget the fact that she'd been overwhelmed enough to shed a few salty tears just minutes ago.

* * *

Waiting was something that Jane was used to. A lot of his plans and tricks involved being patient so it wasn't a big deal but after an hour, he wasn't so enthused about it anymore. He'd let her run, just like always. Just like she'd let him four nights ago. They wouldn't get anywhere if they kept pulling back all the time and he knew that. He did, but he'd still let her go. It wasn't really because he didn't want to prove that he loved her. It was because he didn't want to fight her, he felt like that's all they'd been doing. If they weren't verbally sparring then it was with their gazes, the words they didn't say and with themselves. Constantly battling and it was tiring, he felt the toll it was taking as well so he'd let her go.

He'd known as soon as she'd said 'bath' that she needed to relax, so he hadn't fought or chased after her. He knew she could use it, she looked so tired all the time. But now, it'd been over an hour and he was itching to patch things up. He wanted Lisbon back, the bantering and the playful smiles, the smirks and the blushes. All of it, he wanted it back and then some. He was slightly hurt by the fact that she thought he only loved her as a friend. She was terribly wrong and he wanted to set her straight, he had to. He hadn't married her to be just as - if not more so - miserable as he'd been when he was alone.

It took him a few long minutes to convince himself that what he was about to do wasn't a bad idea, but rather a good one. He was hoping that she'd appreciate the gesture and simply see it as a sign that he wasn't lying or tricking her into anything. He'd known she loved him, he knew it before she even opened her mouth to stumble over the words. He'd been aware for awhile and he had to give her credit for keeping it locked inside. He figured she was used to locking things away, hiding the key and never opening herself up to them again. He was quite good at it himself and they were suffering because of that tendancy. It was something they both needed to work on, but at the moment he was set on one thing. He finally got up the courage, telling himself that the warm towels that had just come from the dryer would be appreciated after a nice bath - the water had probably grown cold by now.

With the towels in hand, he headed for the bathroom door. It was closed but he figured it wasn't locked, he'd never bothered her in the small room before. It had always been the one place he considered off limits. It was her private time and such but he had come to realize that it shouldn't be. They were living together, they were husband and wife and in his book that eliminated personal space. Well, it did after he thought long and hard about it.

Letting out a quick breath, he grasped the knob and twisted. Just as he'd suspected it wasn't locked but he still hesitated. He knew what was beyond that door and he knew that he wasn't fully prepared for it. Swallowing nervously, he pushed it open and stepped inside anyway. At first all he could see were the knees sticking out of the water and her head, ever so slightly tilted to the side.

In that moment, he almost chickened out. Seeing her with her eyes closed in peaceful bliss and the clothes littering the floor, he almost set the towels on the counter and left but he didn't. Some ounce of strength made him stay and even though he felt a little voyeuristic, he moved closer. He'd seen her in just her underwear, but never anything less than that. Maybe it was wrong of him, maybe a little sick but he couldn't help but be enthralled.

He had thought that maybe she was simply relaxing but upon closer inspection, he came to the conclusion that she'd fallen asleep. A nervousness spread through his chest like wildfire when he could see into the tub. He almost dropped the towels, almost tripped over his own feet but somehow he managed to stay upright. The sight had affected him, just as it would any male, he couldn't deny that. It was obvious but believe it or not, he hadn't had the intention of becoming a peeping tom.

With slight discomfort, he knelt down next to her, resting his hands on the side. It hadn't occurred to him until he was reaching to skim his fingers through the water that she might be angry with him if she woke. He knew he should go, leave the towels and just run back down stairs but he couldn't get his feet to listen to the signals he was trying to send them. Somehow the wires in his brain must have crossed, making 'leave' become 'stay and stare'. He was definitely staring, and he couldn't stop. His eyes trailed over her sleeping form, an appreciative groan falling from his lips before he could catch it. It'd been awhile for him, long enough that he wanted to join her in the slightly chilly water.

Now wasn't the time, so he tried to push his desire aside for the moment. If he was bringing her warm towels, then she needed to wake before they, too, became cold. Knowing it could be a horrible idea, he let his fingers ghost over the water, slowly moving up her shoulder. He watched her face, taking in the way her lips twitched and brow furrowed at the touch. Her eyes didn't open, she didn't wake and it would be a lie if Jane said he wasn't growing more aroused by the second. He knew there was a reason he'd tried to talk himself out of this and the reason was becoming more of a nuisance with each glance he took in.

He listened carefully, hearing her breathing pattern change as he brushed her bangs away from her eyes. He stiffened, ready for whatever would come when she noticed why she had woke. He locked his gaze on her face, battling for control just in time to see her pretty greens flutter. He actually hated waking her, she needed the sleep but he'd rather she do it in a bed. She fought to make her eyes stay open but finally won, it took a few seconds for the sleepy daze to vanish and then they were widening in shock.

She let out a little yelp, trying to cover herself as much as she could considering she was still in the bath. He didn't mention he'd already seen everything, he'd let her believe what she wanted. The deep rosy color flooding her cheeks continued down her neck and his gaze drifted, following to see how far the flush would go. Her stuttering brought his eyes back up to where they were supposed to be and he could actually feel heat in his own face. He was pretty sure his cheeks were at the very least tinged a light pink.

"I uh, brought you towels. Warm towels." He expected yelling, screaming, something but she seemed to give up after the stuttering spell, too shocked to say anything. She just stared at him wide eyed and unmoving and he silently berated himself for saying something so stupid. He couldn't always be calm and collected with his words. That's why certain times, he remained silent and just pretended to be unaffected. It was clear to him that this was one of those times, wordlessly standing he offered her his hand.

She was still trying to be modest, trying to cover what was necessary but he could see it in her eyes that she was also trying to figure him out. She was staring at his hand, lips puckering in thought before she slowly moved to slide her dripping fingers into his palm. He helped her out, careful not to let her slip and injure herself. He knew she was more than capable of doing it alone but he was hoping this would work in his favor. Maybe force her to see that he wasn't in their marriage for the wrong reasons. There were so many thoughts and questions in her green gaze, he was astounded by the intensity and he knew they couldn't run this time. He'd seen her bare of everything and she knew it but she didn't act angry, he'd assumed she'd be livid.

With slightly shaking hands, he grabbed one of the towels he'd brought but he didn't hand it to her. With a soft smile, he stepped closer to her and brought the soft fabric up to her neck, drying the trails of water that the wet ends of hair were leaving. The path continued, down her shoulders and over her chest as he gently worked the towel in slow circles. Her breathing was becoming forced, he could hear it, see it and he could feel that his own was doing the same.

By the time he made it to her stomach, her eyes were shut and her hands were twitching. He wasn't sure he could take much more but he pressed on, and reveled in how soft her skin looked. He hadn't touched, he was simply just helping her dry off but he longed to. He wanted to know what it'd feel like beneath his fingertips. A breathy sigh left her lips and her eyes reopened to search for his.

Lisbon wasn't sure what to do, she wasn't sure what Jane was doing, she wasn't sure of anything. The man had a capability of rendering her speechless and somehow making her go along with things without protest. She'd let him help her out of the bath, despite being extremely embarrassed about her state of undress. She'd convinced herself that she wouldn't care if he saw her naked, to the point of always changing in her room with the door wide open but he'd never walked in. Sometimes he caught her in her underwear but he'd never seen anything more and she was confused. She didn't know what brought him into her bathroom when he knew she'd been relaxing in the bath but she'd still let him see her. She was still letting him work the towel over her body, she was too far gone to stop him.

She watched his eyes, watched how they stared back at her. Dark and stormy. It was easy to see that he wasn't immune, that he was suffering too. He was so confusing. He said he loved her, yet he wouldn't kiss her or sleep in the bed. He hadn't shown her any sign that he loved her as anything more than a friend, besides proposing but that'd been so out of the blue and she thought their life now proved that it was simply a way for him to inject some normalcy back into his routine. But now she was confused again, friends didn't see friends naked...did they? Well some did, she knew that but still. Was this his way of asking for sex in their messed up relationship?

A violent jolt shook her, leaving goosebumps covering her entire body and it took her a second to realize the towel was no longer in his hands. It'd been dropped to the floor and he was shuffling closer, leaving barely any space between them. The fabric of his clothes seemed to imprint into her skin, making it tingle, making every sense seemed heightened. She wasn't cold and yet she was shivering. It took a moment to figure out why. Her reflexes, her thinking, it was all so slow. She wasn't used to the feeling.

It was the fingers dancing across her bare skin and sliding down her side that sent shivers through her entire body. Lisbon wasn't used to feeling fuzzy and cloudy, she couldn't clear her mind. She couldn't think straight with him touching her like that. The sensations only intensified when she felt his lips press against her ear, heard his voice so soft and sweet.

"You're beautiful." She felt the brush of his lips across her cheek and then he was walking away, leaving her body humming for more and a quiet protest leaving her lungs on a sigh. Collecting herself to realize what all had just happened, Lisbon grabbed the towel from the floor and wrapped it to cover herself. She was starting to think the heat coursing through her was a permanent side effect after being touched by Jane.

With a quick decision to clean the bathroom later, she released the water in the tub, quickly brushed her teeth and then followed after the man who managed to infuriate and arouse her all at once. The bedroom light was on when she stormed in. He was already making his make-shift bed in the floor, same as always and she was sick of it. It boiled over, her emotions no longer wanting to hide. With a deep breath, she opened her mouth and poured out the words she'd been scared to say.

"I want to believe you okay? Happy now? I want to believe that you love me but I'm afraid that you love the idea of me Jane. You love the idea of having a wife again, maybe you're even trying to convince yourself that I'm her but I'm not. I never will be." The pillow in Jane's hands dropped to the floor, his face showing signs of anger only to be replaced by a softness she hadn't seen before.

"No, I know who you are Teresa, and I'm not trying to make you feel as though you're a replacement. I..you, I admit that I love the idea of having a wife again but only if it's you. I never would've asked anyone else. I'm tired of fighting. I want you to trust me, to believe me. What can I do to make you believe that?" With a roll of her eyes, Lisbon grabbed one of his shirts from the floor and let the towel drop.

What could he do? A heck of a lot, that's what he could do. In her fury to button the light blue shirt she was now sporting, she popped two of the little white buttons off and vowed to fix it later. She'd grown used to sleeping in one of shirts, but only after it'd been worn. Otherwise it didn't smell like him and it wasn't as comfortable. Reaching in the dresser she pulled out a pair of underwear and set about working them up her legs. She planned to go to bed and forget any of this had happened, just like they did with every other moment between them.

Her plan would've worked but when a whispered plea filled her ears, she dropped her head in defeat and turned back towards him. In reality, she was tired of fighting too, drained and just too exhausted to even try anymore. If he said he wanted her to believe, if he was asking what he could do to make her then that meant there had to be some truth to his words, didn't it? With a heavy breath, she glanced at his pillow and blanket and then back to him. If he wanted her to believe that he loved her, then he'd have to prove it.

"You can start by sleeping in the bed." He hadn't responded, he'd simply started getting into his night clothes and then headed for the bathroom. She figured she'd probably pushed a little too hard.

She turned out the light, knowing he wouldn't need it when he came back in and burrowed herself under the covers. She rolled to her stomach, hoping that sleep would come easily after such a relaxing bath but it seemed her little nap had managed to wake her up more than anything. Tossing a few times to get comfortable, she tried to forget what it felt like to have Jane's hands caressing her bare skin. She could still feel the warmth of his fingers, see the look on his face and with a few deep breaths, she closed her eyes.

It was only moments later when she felt something foreign, something she wasn't used to. The bed dipped, the mattress shifted slightly, jostling her and she could feel the heat of a body slip under the blankets. Her heart started doing flips in her chest before she ever opened her eyes to see Jane settling in. She'd thought he'd be sleeping on the floor for the rest of their life together. She'd actually contemplated getting him a separate bed but he was listening. He was in the bed with her and the groan he let out when his head hit the pillow made her aware of how close they really were. The sound seemed so much louder than usual, music to her ears.

They didn't say goodnight, they didn't say anything. They didn't move closer to each other or tangle themselves in a heap of limbs. They both stayed on their respective sides but it was a start. He was in the bed, no longer killing his back and with a light smile, Lisbon faded into sleep without having to toss endlessly for hours.

**a/n: Next: _It had never happened before, she didn't know why this time was any different but it obviously was. The worst part was that it was their day off, neither of them had an excuse to mumble awkwardly..._**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I've been writing for well over a year and I still own nothing. **

**A/N: My other stories will be updated this weekend! Even if I have to tie myself to my chair to get it done, it will happen. :) But I couldn't get this chapter out of my head until I typed it so here ya go. Yet another chapter for my crazy dream induced fic that grew to a considerable amount of chapters. Enjoy.**

The sound of soft jazz filtered into Lisbon's ears, causing her to groan softly and snuggle deeper into the pillow. Fourteen days of marriage and she'd learned that her husband liked to sleep with noise, while she enjoyed the silence. They made an agreement to switch back and forth between their preferences. The nice warm pillow felt a little different than usual but her tired mind seemed too slow to process anything other than the sound drawing her from her sleep. They'd left the radio on last night and now she wished they hadn't. It was invading her peaceful dreams. Jane had been so set on listening to some music after such a hard day and she'd simply went along with it, too tired to argue.

It only took seconds for her to realize that she wouldn't be able to drift off again and with a shift of her body, she stopped putting off the inevitable. Everything was slightly blurry when she opened her eyes, it took several attempts at blinking to clear things up and even then it was still kind of fuzzy. Her eyes didn't want to stay open but she forced them to cooperate long enough to try and bunch the pillowcase in her fists. Nothing happened. There was no feel of fabric beneath her fingertips, no soft cottony fibers that she loved so much. After two weeks of marriage, Lisbon knew that her pillow had never been swiped before but she still wouldn't put it past the man.

Her fingers slid against something smooth and warm and with a turn of her head, she found her face pressed right into Jane's chest. It took a few seconds to understand what was going on but then she took into account every foreign source of body heat touching her. With a red flush filling her cheeks, she tilted her head to stare at his shoulder. They were cuddled together, clinging tightly. His knee locked between her bare thighs, his arms wrapped around her and making his scent seem to fill the air. One of his hands was burning an imprint against her hip and the other on her back. It took her a minute to collect herself enough to really let their position sink in. She was almost completely sprawled out on top of him.

She felt his fingers twitch against her skin, slightly dipping beneath the waistband of her panties and the realization that her shirt was no longer covering anything besides her chest hit her like a ton of bricks. He was moving, shifting - a groan falling from his lips - and when she took the risk and moved to see if he was awake, she was rewarded with a sleepy stare. He was holding her, he was awake and she liked it.

It had never happened before, she didn't know why this time was any different but it obviously was. The worst part was that it was their day off, neither of them had an excuse to mumble awkwardly in attempts to make it end. They'd been getting along better since he started sleeping in the bed, less likely to pick fights and the banter was slowly coming back but they'd always stayed on their own side of the mattress - always.

A rush of air left her lungs at the sight of him in the orange glow of the room. It was early, but that was the furthest thing from her mind. She'd been wanting - needing - him since he'd helped her dry off several days ago after her bath. She'd thought about it every time they got too close but he always pulled back and she let him. She couldn't be the one to make that move but she wasn't going to stop him if he did. Even if she didn't fully believe that he loved her in the romantic sense, they were married and she wouldn't say no.

"Mornin'." His voice was low, gravelly and caused her body to react before she could do anything to fight it. Her thighs tightened around his, searching for some kind of relief but if anything, it only made the fire in her veins worsen. A soft moan tumbled from her lips when she felt his thumb trace along her pantie line. The sound left her embarrassed, eyes widening as soon as she realized what had happened but he held her tighter and offered a small smile. "Guess I didn't wake up in time."

"Huh?" Her brain wouldn't let her form anything more intelligent than the confused syllable and when the hand on her back trailed up her spine, an involuntary shiver rendered her incapable of even trying. His palm flattened just below where her bra clasp would normally rest, pushing lightly to keep her chest pressed into him. He left it there, the pressure still applied until he seemed satisfied that she'd stay. As soon as he moved it, she tried to raise up but he brought the hand right back, easing her down softly but firmly. She didn't try to move again, she stayed where he wanted her, face tilted to watch his as the fingers that had just been pushing against her back found their way to her cheek.

Her eyes closed immediately, her fingers ghosting across his chest in retaliation for his silence. He wasn't answering her and even with a cloudy arousal filled mind, she wanted to know what he was talking about. She figured if he was allowed to touch in such an intimate way then so was she. Even without being able to see, she knew exactly where her hand was going and it wasn't until she reached his navel that his breathing started to become affected. They both knew she wouldn't have went much lower but the fact that she'd returned his caress at all had slightly left them both stunned. A garbled sound escaped his throat, making him cover it with a cough and try again.

"We end up like this every night but I usually wake up in time to move you back to your side before you ever stir."

"Wh-" She wanted to know why, she wanted to ask but the words hadn't fully been spoken. She couldn't get them to come out.

Slowly letting her eyes open, she glanced down at her hand resting low on his stomach and bit her lip. Chewing lightly, rolling the flesh between her teeth, she let her gaze drift back up to meet his half lidded eyes. She'd leveled the playing field but she didn't feel better. She thought it would make things easier but when her hips shifted against his and his pushed back, she came to the conclusion that it definitely had not made anything any easier.

Eyes widening in surprise at the feel of his growing arousal pressed into her thigh, her mouth formed an 'o' shape and Jane's cheeks turned a dark shade of pink. The look on his face resembled the one she'd seen when he'd taken the initiative to towel her off but it seemed so much more intense. If it wasn't for her complete incapability of thinking, she would have found it funny that he seemed more 'excited' with her still clothed than when she was naked. Of course she hadn't been lying on top of him in a very intimate way when he'd seen her bare.

Some of her wits seemed to return suddenly, and she was mumbling something about breakfast and trying to move off of him. Silently berating herself the entire time, yelling in her head that she was his wife and there was no need to come up with lame excuses and flee. His grip on her didn't let her move very far and the pounding in her chest became louder, faster.

"Eggs?"

The childish tone to his voice made her want to slap him. Her blood was boiling, heat coursing through her every nerve making her think she might spontaneously combust from the sexual tension and he was concerned about eggs - she should have known. With a roll of her eyes, she pushed off of him slightly satisfied when he groaned and rolled to his stomach in attempts to hide the effect she'd had on him. It was pointless but she let him and tugged her shirt down to cover herself as she got out of bed.

Muttering under her breath as she descended the stairs, she wondered when, or even if, they'd take that step. At one point she had contemplated getting their marriage annulled. They hadn't consummated it but her mind hadn't pondered the thought very long. Even without sexual satisfaction or kisses, she'd started to enjoy being married in some twisted kind of way.

He'd asked what he could do to prove that he loved her and she'd told him to start by sleeping in the bed - he had. She hadn't made any more requests and he didn't ask for any but she knew that slowly, she was beginning to think that maybe he was being honest. Maybe he didn't love her as just a friend or a person. She wouldn't let her heart go crazy just yet, she didn't want to deal with the ache if she happened to be wrong. He could still be confused, she knew she was but he seemed clear headed.

She didn't want to say anything, breach such a touchy topic again when they were just starting to get along and open up. She wanted to avoid any possible scenarios that involved them taking two steps back. Throwing a glance over her shoulder, she continued on her way to the kitchen to make breakfast. In two weeks, this would be the first day they had off - unless they got a call. They'd had two major cases just recently, taking most of their time and leaving them with only hours. She wasn't sure how well they'd do with a whole day to themselves, nothing to do. She wasn't sure how she was going to handle it after waking up on top of the man.

* * *

By noon, Lisbon had decided that the day was going better than she'd expected. They were watching a movie, Jane still in just a pair of pajama pants, lying on the couch with his feet propped up in her lap and she was okay with it. She'd changed but she hadn't managed anything more than a tank top and stretchy shorts. It was her lazy day, his too apparently and she was content to just watch the screen - occasionally swiping a handful of popcorn from the bowl resting on Jane's stomach.

Nothing out of the blue or embarrassing had happened. There had been a few awkward moments while eating breakfast but it quickly turned into stolen glances and light blushes. Nothing more than that. They'd become comfortable with silence, neither having the urge to say or do something to get away from the other. It'd taken them days after he'd moved in but they were finally working a routine that just fit with them. They didn't have to force it anymore, if it was silent then it was silent. There were none of those ridiculous thoughts bouncing around, wondering if the other was secretly thinking they should never have said 'I do'.

Lisbon still had doubts but she'd grown used to having a man in her apartment, someone to claim as a husband. The rings on her finger were barely noticed now, they just sort of belonged and she was okay with that. She did wonder a lot, if Jane had known this was how things would be between them, if he'd known they would be able to live together somewhat peacefully. He still hadn't fully told her why he didn't want to wait to marry but she wouldn't bring it up on a day that they were to spend together. She felt more comfortable prodding when they'd worked a full day or two. It gave her the guts to pry, knowing that if things went south she wouldn't have endless hours to wallow about it.

Something hit her cheek, falling into her lap and she frowned a little when she realized it was popcorn. Turning to look at the man who offered her an innocent smile, she shook her head and ate the buttery treat. The bowl that had been resting on him was moved to the floor causing her to sigh softly.

"There's a coffee table for a reason, Patrick."

"C'mere." Unsure of what he meant, she raised a curious eyebrow and stayed rooted to her seat. With a sigh, he stretched his hand out towards and her and softly pleaded. "Please."

Slipping her hand into his, she gave a little yelp when he tugged her down. She attempted to brace herself but he caught her free hand and gently pulled her to rest against him. With a little adjusting, he had her cheek pressed right over his heart and she listened quietly to the thumping in her ear. It took a few seconds for her mind to catch up but once it did, she fought her overwhelming urge to move. She was completely on top of him, legs tangling with his and he acted like it was where she was supposed to be.

She watched his arm drop to the side of the couch only to come back up with a few pieces of popcorn. Following his lead, she let her own arm search for the bowl he'd set in the floor, fingers burying themselves in the salty and buttery mess. When the snack made it up to her lips, she felt the hand pressed to her back dip under the fabric of her tank top, bunching the cloth and leaving her skin exposed to his soft touch. Her breath hitched almost causing her to choke on the popcorn in her mouth but she tried to hide it, tried to act completely nonchalant about the whole thing. Not that it worked.

This was the type of thing she'd been hoping to avoid after waking up like they had. She wasn't sure what he was trying to do. If this was just another way for him to feel closer to her, married to her or if it was a way for him to try and get her to believe him. She blamed herself for her frustrations, not really him. He was Jane, he was messed up and she knew that but she was just as messed up for becoming his wife under such pretenses. Quite the match they made and if he wanted sex, she really wished he'd just ask instead of leading her to think that they might eventually reach some level of a normal relationship.

Another flying piece of popcorn hit her in the nose and she lifted her head to look up at him, throwing the three pieces she had left in his face with a chuckle. She was getting better at pushing her fears about her farce of a marriage down and pretending to be okay. He seemed slightly taken aback by her retaliation but brought his fingers up to trace her jaw only seconds later. He no longer looked shocked, but mystified by something. She was getting used to his simple touches and the kisses on her cheeks, hands and neck. He'd been extremely hands on since his proposal and she'd slowly grown used to it without reading too much into it. She figured this was another one of those times but when his hand moved to the back of her neck and brought her head down towards his, a familiar twist in her stomach made her think that this might not be one of those moments after all.

He'd done this before though, almost kissed her and then he pulled away. She was expecting this to be the same but she let herself be drawn into the lie anyway. She let her eyes flutter when her nose touched his, let her lips part on a sigh when the hand splayed against her back soothed up and down - the one on her neck still urging her closer. She could feel him everywhere, it was a sensory overload and when his warm breath hit her mouth, she shuddered against him. She was silently begging him not to push her away at the last minute.

Her heart was trying to beat its way out of her body, slamming against her ribcage. Her breathing already labored just from the close proximity and when her left hand slid up to his neck, she felt him react. It was as if they were back in the bed, she could feel him flush, or maybe that was her own body heating up. She wasn't entirely sure. She'd snap if he didn't do something besides this teasing, taunting. A clench in her chest had her fighting tears and trying to keep her head clear. It was impossible when their mouths were so close, bodies pressed together but he wasn't moving, wasn't pulling her down to him anymore. This was how the last almost kiss had went. He'd stopped, so close yet so far.

Something akin to a whimper escaped her lungs, she wasn't used to being unable to control her body and it's reactions but she stopped caring, stopped thinking when she felt him tilt his head, letting his parted lips gently encase hers. She was too paralyzed by the feel to move, the pressure was barely there but she could tell this was different from the two chaste kisses they'd shared before.

The sensation was gone after a second, her tongue darted out to wet her lips, her eyes cracking open to see what was going on and with one shared glance, hands groped tighter and lips met once again. It wasn't as soft as before but hungry, passionate. The sound in the background faded away with each press of mouths. She could feel a rumble in Jane's chest as she slid her lips against his, picking up the rhythm immediately and pressing herself impossibly closer. Shifting herself higher up his body for better access caused the man beneath her to stiffen, a low groan making her aware of how he felt about her movement. Their lips paused, staying still but remaining pressed together.

Lisbon wasn't sure why they'd stopped but it only lasted a few quick seconds and then one of his hands fisted in her hair, and something warm and wet nudged her bottom lip. She opened up to him without thought, giving in to the hunger they were both experiencing. Giving in to what they'd wanted earlier in her bedroom. His hands became braver with every tentative brush of their tongues, sliding down her back to dip beneath the waistband of her shorts. Lips, tongues, hands - it was all so much at once and the fire that had been burning through her veins since early that morning kept pushing for more. She wanted more.

The kiss slowed down, losing the steam of the moment and turning into something that she could only describe as loving and tender. The sounds of the movie once again penetrated her ears and with a light smacking noise, he broke the caress their lips were locked in. Lisbon didn't open her eyes, she wasn't sure she wanted to face the reality just yet. She remained in the fantasy that they were happily married and had simply been making out on the couch for just a few minutes longer, resting her forehead against his.

The truth wouldn't let her remain in bliss for long, pulling her back to the harsh reality with her lips still tingling. With a slight frown she lifted her lids heavily and was met by Jane's piercing stare. It wasn't until he shifted that she noticed one of her hands had tangled itself in his curls, he looked gorgeous bare chested, half lidded and lips swollen. It was something she ingrained into her memory just in case it didn't happen again.

"Do you believe me yet?" It was the hint of sadness in his voice that made her think back on what they'd just done, made her wonder if the kiss meant as much to him as it did to her.

"Patrick...I-if you want uh, if you want sex then we can do that."

"Wha-no, no...just, let's just finish the movie." Feeling lightheaded from the emotions and now confused at his change from desperate to angry, Lisbon frowned. She thought she'd guessed what he wanted, she thought she'd got it right but he wasn't even looking at her now. His attention was turned back to the TV and with a heaviness in her chest she let her head fall back to the place right over his heart. At least he hadn't pushed her off of him yet, and she liked being this close. It was new and it made her feel closer to having a relationship that would sort of pass as traditional.

His fingers contradicted the way his words had come across, caressing their way up her back - tracing 'S' shapes as they went, leaving goosebumps rising on her skin. She didn't care that he'd pushed her shirt out of the way or that her eyes caught on the shiny jewelry symbolizing their union. The movie wasn't that interesting and she was trying to figure out where she'd went wrong. She knew he was aroused but he seemed put off by the idea of sex. Would it be that horrible to sleep with her? One step forward, two steps back. This made her even more set in her ways that he loved her as a friend.

It stung to be rejected, ignored, she'd started to believe that he actually had true feelings for her - she'd started to think that he might love her. Now she didn't know. She was back to being confused, back to questioning his motives.

**a/n: I'm posting the new chapter of Dissolve in a few minutes. :D**

**Next: _"You're an irresponsible, pig-headed, egotistical idiot! Do you realize what could have happened?" Lisbon didn't care that she was yelling, she didn't care that her voice would probably be raw come tomorrow if she kept it up. She didn't care that Jane looked just as pissed off or that he was yelling too. She didn't care that her neighbors would probably complain, all she cared about was that the man in front of her could have died. That's why she was fighting with him._**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it..yada yada...blah blah...meh.**

**A/N: You guys are really awesome for reading this. Really awesome. This is another one of those chapters that just grew to epic proportions. :D **

**I'd like to thank the ppl who review anonymously or just the ones I can't reply to: lisbonloafers, firestorm, kinkykittykat, and JLluv. Thank you!**

**Quick thing here: This story took an unexpected turn which will land it in the M-rated section. Not every chapter will live up to that high of a rating, it's a precautionary thing for a few sexual situations that come up soon. **

Grumpy wasn't a strong enough word to describe Lisbon's mood as of the last two days. She was frustrated to the point of possibly going insane and it was Jane's fault. They'd kissed, an actual kiss that counted as a real one and there was nothing to show for it. He hadn't kissed her since. Sure it'd only been two days but it seemed like it was so much longer than that. There was only one thing that was different. When she woke each morning, they were tangled together - he was no longer moving her back to her own side and even though it led to awkward situations, she enjoyed it.

Pissed was a better word to describe what she was feeling, grumpy would have worked fine if it hadn't been for the stunt he'd pulled earlier in the evening. She was livid to the point of shaking. It was so much more than something as trivial as kisses, it had nothing to do with their situation. Not really, maybe a little - she was already cranky with him and then he had to make it so much worse, so yeah it probably was also due to their tension. The fact that he was her husband had ticked her off a bit once she realized what he'd been doing. Maybe she should have been flattered. She figured most women would be but she wasn't most women and Jane was stupid for doing what he did.

He'd been wise enough to keep his mouth shut on the drive home, he didn't mention that her knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel too hard. She was still trying to get the cramps out of her fingers when her keys landed on the kitchen table. It was still silent between them but she could feel him watching her, feel his lingering gaze burning into her cheek. She didn't want to talk to him, she didn't want to face him, she wanted to go to bed and forget the day had even happened. She didn't know how he could do something like that, how he could terrify her so much so that she'd become angry. So angry that she wasn't sure she wanted him in her bedroom, the couch would probably be a better place for him tonight. She wouldn't be tempted to kill him.

It was probably horrible of her to want to kill an already injured man but she was so frustrated with him. She was sick of what they were doing, sick of the way he never listened to her orders, sick of him calling her 'his wife' when he didn't treat her as such, she was just fed up. She'd been loyal in giving him what she thought he needed - a marriage, a home - and just when things were calming down to the point of being able to actually kind of enjoy the arrangement, he had to screw it all up. It started with that kiss, started with her believing the things he said and with the way they had slowly been getting back to their teasing.

With a huff, she flung her jacket across the living room without paying attention to where it landed and headed for the stairs. She didn't want to be anywhere near him but her feet stopped carrying her towards her hideout when his whisper echoed.

"Teresa..."

"Don't." Her voice was sharp, clipped and made it clear that she didn't want to talk. She'd been hoping he'd remain smart, remain silent but obviously he assumed that once she was home things were different. He was wrong. It didn't change anything.

"Why are you so mad at me?"

"Really Jane? You really have to ask that?" She wasn't falling for the softness of his voice, she had to stay focused on why she was mad. When her eyes danced over his shoulder, taking in the sling that held his arm captive, she remembered. His suit was ruined but that was the least of her worries. He was her worry and that was the problem. She'd told him to stay put but had he listened? Psh, yeah right.

"I thought you'd be a little more appreciative."

"Appreciative that you managed to throw yourself off of a roof? Yes Jane I'm so proud and thankful!" It didn't escape either of them that she was yelling, or that she'd reverted to calling him by his last name. She'd pretty much stopped that when they were at home but not this night. Not when he'd managed to end up with stitches in his head and a dislocated shoulder from hitting a fence. It wasn't life threatening but that didn't mean that next time he pulled something so stupid, it wouldn't be.

"I was protecting you!"

"Are you kidding me? Oh then by all means I'm sorry I didn't swoon because you pulled a dumb ass stunt!" They were getting louder with each verbal spar, Jane wasn't holding back and neither was she.

"For you! I was trying to protect my wife!"

"You weren't protecting anyone, you were disobeying direct orders!"

"If I hadn't been able to see the guy coming, hadn't warned you..."

"You're an irresponsible, pig-headed, egotistical idiot! Do you realize what could have happened?" Lisbon didn't care that she was yelling, she didn't care that her voice would probably be raw come tomorrow if she kept it up. She didn't care that Jane looked just as pissed off or that he was yelling too. She didn't care that her neighbors would probably complain, all she cared about was that the man in front of her could have died. That's why she was fighting with him.

"Yes that's why.."

"No you don't, you could have died!" Once the words left her mouth, a silence settled between them. She dropped her gaze to the floor and shook her head, feeling her hair softly hit her cheeks with the movement. She didn't know what the hell he'd been doing on their suspect's roof but he was right, he'd technically saved her from being hit in the face with a shovel. She still didn't think it was a good enough excuse.

He'd slipped, lost his balance somehow. He was lucky he hadn't broken anything, it wasn't a very high roof but still. He was badly bruised and limping, extremely lucky that the fence had caught him. If it hadn't been for that, he would have probably wound up with something more serious than the gash on his forehead and a dislocated shoulder. Her heart had stopped when she'd seen him fall, she'd been terrified and that's what had led to her anger.

She'd been worried all the way to the hospital about the state of his shoulder, she knew that tendons and ligaments could be damaged which generally resulted in surgery. She knew it could take up to a full year for him to regain strength and movement without pain. They'd need to contact an orthopaedic specialist to test his shoulder to determine the extent of the damage to his range of movement and strength. A physiotherapist would also be a good idea to keep the muscles from weakening over time. As happy as she was that he was alive, she wanted to punch him. He'd turned her into one of those frantic concerned wives and she hated it, she hated being so out of control.

She'd worried herself sick with the possibilities of his head injury or some internal complications that they couldn't see, literally having to empty the contents of her stomach in the ladies restroom and he had the nerve to expect her to be thankful?

The man was an idiot. An idiot who stepped closer to her as she backed into the wall. He could have snapped his neck and he didn't even act like he cared. Unable to control the emotions, Lisbon sighed and tried to keep herself in check. She could handle being angry but she didn't want to break down.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she leaned her weight against the wall and refused to meet Jane's intense gaze. She knew if she did, then she'd see that he already figured it out. She was mad because he'd scared her. His right hand, the one capable of movement reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear, ignoring the way she tried to swat him away.

"I'm alive." The yelling had ceased, his voice soft and sweet as he brushed his nose against hers. "Look at me, I'm okay. A little banged up but I'm good."

"Oh well that just makes it all better then, doesn't it?" She wasn't ready to let it go, she couldn't convince herself that it'd be the right thing to do. Avoiding the arm in the sling, she shoved him away and headed for the bathroom. She was not in the mood to deal with him. It bothered her a little that the key to their relationship seemed to be their ability to walk away but now wasn't the time for her to talk to him, she needed to calm down first or she knew they'd never get anywhere. It'd be a constant yelling match and she didn't want that.

Locking the door behind her in a sad attempt to keep Jane from following, she turned to see her reflection in the mirror. The woman staring back looked like her, but different at the same time. They were the exact same, Lisbon knew that. It was a mirror after all, but she looked like she was about to cry. She hadn't noticed that before due to her temper, she hadn't noticed the moisture gathering in her eyes, the quivering lip or the lump forming in her throat. Trying to swallow the uncomfortable knot only made it worse and with a fumbling hand, she turned on the cold water as a tear leaked out.

* * *

It was another one of those times that Jane knew he couldn't win the battle so he didn't try. He didn't want to spend the entire night yelling at Lisbon. He hadn't wanted to yell at her at all but she was being stubborn and she wouldn't see things his way. He'd been protecting her and simply lost his footing. No big deal, sure his head and shoulder were both pulsing in pain but he'd been trying to prove that he could keep her safe, that he loved her. She just didn't understand.

Plopping down on the couch, he inhaled sharply at the movement and added that to his list of things not to do after dislocating your shoulder. Toeing out of his shoes, he tried to think of a way to get himself out of this mess. He expected Lisbon to be somewhat upset but he also thought she'd act relieved, she didn't. He knew she was just using anger to cover her true emotions but he knew to let her settle down a bit before actually calling her on it. He'd seen the look in her eyes, the fear and he felt kind of bad for putting her through a hospital visit consisting of endless tests that could find something seriously wrong. Although he was glad that she wasn't the one injured.

Letting his head fall back to rest against the cushion, he heard the shower turn on and contemplated joining her. It'd be something new, what he'd consider a step forward in their marriage. She'd been testy with him the last couple days because he kissed her, he wasn't sure he wanted to see what she'd be like if he tried to shower with her. He chose not to, he wanted to live through the night and she wasn't quite to the point of giving up her anger just yet.

He wasn't stupid, he knew she'd been grumpy the last two days because he'd managed to hurt her. She saw it as a rejection that he turned down sex. It wasn't, but she thought it was and he hadn't corrected her. He would, he'd actually planned to do it tonight but he wasn't so sure that would be a very smart idea anymore. He'd been planning to tell her that while he said no, he didn't mean it in a 'never' kind of way. He knew she wasn't ready for it, neither of them were. The attraction was there, the love and the lust but she still didn't believe his feelings were strong enough. He wouldn't do that to her, he would not have sex with her while she was thinking it was nothing more than just sex between a legally married couple.

It drove him half mad that she still seemed so set on blowing off his attempts to prove he loved her. He didn't marry her for sex, they could've done that without the legal papers and wedding bands. He might have hurt her but she'd hurt him too by thinking that was the only reason for his lingering touches and their kiss.

They'd been doing so well lately, things hadn't been as tense. In fact, he'd go so far as to say that she had started to enjoy being his wife. That's why he'd made the move and kissed her, they'd been progressing. It'd only taken seconds for them to back track though. He found it kind of funny how that worked - it took them such a long time to move forward and such a short time to lose that progress. He heard the running water cease and decided to give her a few more minutes. Just a few.

The 'few minutes' turned into thirty, he managed to get lost in his thoughts - trying to think of ways to approach her without making her temper flare up again. He didn't want to fight with her. Finally leaving his position on the couch with a groan, he headed for their bedroom. Theirs, he liked thinking of it as theirs, not hers. Everything in her home was his too, it was their home, their living room, their bedroom, their bed. His mission was interrupted when he realized the bathroom might be the best place to start.

She wasn't in there anymore but he desperately needed some relief and he figured he might as well get ready for bed. He couldn't help but wonder if she'd even let him in the bed. It was only when he tried to shrug out of his shirt that he realized his arm didn't want to cooperate enough to manage the buttons.

* * *

Sinking further into the mattress, Lisbon heard the sounds of the toilet flush, the sink come on and the usual noise associated with teeth brushing. There was an occasional groan but she decided it served him right. Her heart wasn't so sure, it clenched at the thought of him suffering and being in pain but her head told it to keep its unwanted reactions to itself. She was literally arguing with her organs now, maybe she wasn't far off when she'd thought she was crazy.

She'd been curled up on her side of the bed for awhile, exactly forty minutes according to her clock. The red numbers were taunting her with every minute that passed. She felt worse and worse for the way she'd treated him but she couldn't make herself move to apologize. She hadn't reached that point yet, she was simply admitting that she maybe, could have, possibly, overreacted just a little. Blowing a ragged breath through her lips, she wiggled to get comfortable. She wasn't tired, but when she heard Jane step into the room she shut her eyes and pretended to be asleep.

She assumed he'd call her on it, assumed he'd point out that she obviously wasn't actually sleeping but he didn't. Instead he left her alone and grumbled something under his breath. She heard the brush of skin against fabric, the rustling sound of clothes and when he let out a ragged sigh and cursed, she let her eyes flutter back open. She could see him thanks to the light in her hallway, could watch as he fumbled with his shirt. It was halfway off but he couldn't manage the rest and her heart seized at the sight. He looked so defeated, let down by himself and frustrated that he couldn't work something so simple.

There was no thought put into her next actions, she didn't even let herself question it as she carefully pushed the blankets off and climbed out of bed. He watched her as she approached and he looked as if he were expecting another fight. She wasn't going to say anything, it's not like she'd wanted to end up battling with him after they'd come so far.

Without a word, she invaded his personal space and ignored the way it had her pulse accelerating. It wasn't the time to let her body lose control. Her fingers were shaking slightly when she reached up to gently unfasten the last few buttons and guide his sleeves down his arms. She noticed his sling was gone but didn't think much of it. The doctor had said people heal just as well without it as they do with. Even after giving herself a speech to calm her desires, her breath hitched at the warmth his skin radiated. She could see the inflammation in his shoulder, the bruising that had already formed but she kept her mouth shut. She was afraid if she said something, she would ruin the quiet intimacy they were sharing despite yelling at the top of their lungs just an hour or so ago.

Inching closer to him, she kept her eyes trained on her hands to avoid looking up at him. She wanted to see his face, wanted to see his expression but she didn't dare peek. Her hands had grown a mind of their own, sliding down his chest, she was too embarrassed by the move to caution an upward glance. Her body was starting to react to their closeness, already humming and he wasn't even the one doing the touching. She was torturing herself, her fingers sliding lower, grazing across his navel. The barest of smiles tugged at her lips when she saw and felt his muscles tense at the foreign touch.

She could hear his breathing turning labored but she couldn't make herself stop, it seemed even more enthralling to watch. Taking another step towards him, she left only inches between them and ghosted her hands to the waistband of his trousers. She knew he could probably manage without her help but for some reason, she became brave enough to ignore that fact. Usually she'd be turning red and trying to run away but not now. Not after such a close call, he could've been gone, dead. Her anger was still there, just not as strong and she wasn't sure whether she should be happy about that or not.

Her fingers slid easily against the fabric, finding the smooth round button and popping it open. She was hypnotized by her own actions, her own lazy movements and she knew that Jane was too. She could tell by the feel of his breath against her forehead, he was watching too. She didn't have to look to know that his eyes were trained on her hands as she found the zipper and paused.

In that moment, it hit her. She was undressing the man and he liked it, she liked it. Her own breathing had become off kilter, her chest practically heaving and she knew that if she looked in the mirror now her pupils would be dilated and her skin would be flushed. She couldn't deny being turned on and judging by what she could feel against her fingers, neither could he. Lightly clearing her throat, she grasped the zipper between her thumb and forefinger then tugged. The sound filled the silence, shattering the peacefulness that had settled. It seemed so loud and though it only lasted a second, she would swear it echoed.

Her hands wouldn't budge, frozen in place and her ears were positively burning. She was grateful that she hadn't decided to blow dry her hair. The wet tendrils felt nice in comparison to her heated skin. When he softly whispered her name, when she felt his lips press against her forehead, she finally tilted her face to stare up at him. She couldn't tell who she'd tortured more by her slow ministrations, him or herself?

The sound of his voice pulled her out of her fuzzy minded state and she dropped her arms to her sides, knowing he could do the rest himself. He mumbled a thanks and she simply nodded before turning to head back to bed. She slid in on the left side, and snuggled back down in her pillow. It was slightly damp but not enough to be uncomfortable. She was waiting for the bed to dip, and when it did she let out a sigh. She hadn't been sure she would be calmed down enough to let him sleep next to her but she was. Kind of. The urge to roll him out lingered but she knew it'd hurt him even more so she didn't.

Turning to face him as he shifted with a grimace, she reached out to touch his uninjured shoulder. He met her gaze, holding it as she scooted closer to him. Usually they fell asleep with at least a foot or two between them but she closed the gap to settle directly beside him. They weren't touching, they were just close. She blamed her heated body for the move.

He shifted again, clearly hurting and after a few seconds, he finally sat up. It startled her when he moved so abruptly but she eased back into the soft mattress when he moved his pillows to rest against the headboard and slowly leaned back.

"That can't be comfortable." It was the first words she'd spoken to him that came out softly and concerned rather than harsh and angry.

"Better than lying on my back - not like I sleep much anyway."

"Patrick...I," Closing her eyes to get her thoughts straight, Lisbon tugged the bottom pillow out from under her head and rested it against his chest. When her eyes opened again, he was simply staring at her. "Here."

He opened his mouth to protest but apparently thought better of it and situated the extra pillow behind him instead. It was weird to see him in her darkened room, half sitting against the headboard to be comfortable enough to rest. She was used to facing away from him to go to sleep. Her stomach flopped, half nervous and half angry. She was still mad but she was working on it and trying to clear it up in her head. It was just that he was Jane, he was supposed to be her annoying consultant who lounged on the couch and did as little work as possible. He wasn't supposed to get hurt.

The arousal she'd felt was still there, burning low in her belly but she was getting better at pushing it down. It wasn't a good time to be feeling stimulated and she knew that. She pushed it aside and managed to stifle the gasp that threatened when his leg brushed against hers, skin to skin. A split second decision was made and she shifted closer, alerting him to her presence at his side, making him move his good arm to wrap around her. They'd never fallen asleep tangled together despite the fact that they woke that way.

As carefully as possible Lisbon buried her face in his neck and let one arm rest over his stomach. It didn't matter that she was on his uninjured side, she was still afraid she'd somehow hurt him. Taking a few deep breaths, she let the anger fade and nuzzled herself cautiously closer, bringing her body to rest against him. She hadn't really instigated anything as intimate as when she'd helped him with his clothes or this little cuddling bit before but she didn't care, she was glad he was still with her, still sharing her home and bed. As mad as she'd been, still slighty seething, she couldn't help but want to be closer to him.

"You're still an idiot," She mumbled it against his skin, letting herself be lulled by the hand rubbing her back. "and I'm still mad at you."

She lifted her head to whisper in his ear but he turned and caught her lips with his own in a delicately soft kiss. He caressed her mouth sweetly, sweeping his tongue across her lips and letting it gently dip inside to play with her own. She didn't complain, couldn't complain. It was nothing like the kiss they'd shared on the couch but still just as special to her, just as needed and just as reciprocated. It didn't last long, it wasn't meant to, it was just a tender kiss. Short but enough to have her dazed. He brushed his mouth against hers a few more times to make up for the abrupt cut off, the touch of his lips barely felt.

"M'sorry for scaring you." The words she'd wanted to whisper were shoved to the back of her mind, put off for another night. She'd wait until she wasn't so worked up just to make sure she really did believe now. "Get some sleep."

Taking his suggestion to heart, she let her head fall back to the crook of his neck and closed her eyes but one thought appeared out of nowhere just as she started to drift off: what the hell had he been doing up on the roof in the first place? She thought about asking but she was in that state where it seemed too hard to move her mouth to form the words, so she didn't even try. When he whispered a simple 'I love you', she heard him and realized that despite her better judgement, she really did believe him.

She believed him. Now she just had to figure out if that was a good thing or not.

**a/n: Anyone ever dislocated their shoulder? It's not fun let me tell you.**

**Next up: _"W-What are you doing?" Confused and mind still sleep numbed, Lisbon wasn't sure why her blankets were missing or why her shirt was being pulled from her body but when a husky voice answered her, she no longer cared. _**

**_"Undressing you."_**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Owning absolutely nada. :D **

**A/N: Yes I bumped the rating for this chapter, but no the entire chapter isn't M rated. If you don't want to read it, you don't have to. I promise not to take offense. I like describing things but I don't like clinical terms and I dip more into emotions than step by step instructions of what they're doing though. **

**This isn't my first time writing something like this but it is with these two characters. I write more of what they feel, you'd have to read to understand. Anyways, I can't make you do anything but if you are reading then I hope you're of age or mature enough. I can't say anything heck I read stuff like this when I was underage but I'm one of those old souls and I'm trying to be a good influence here, so yeah please follow the age guidelines. I feel like a 30 yr old trapped in a 19 yr olds body.**

**Again, rating changed to M for a reason though honestly this little bit isn't bad at all. At least not by my standards. Later chapters will have more steamy moments.**

The clock showed it to be almost five o'clock in the morning and Jane wasn't tired. He hadn't slept a wink. His shoulder kept him from finding a comfortable position even after six days, it ached more at night. He couldn't sleep on his side, due to the uncomfortableness. It wasn't so much actual pain, just an aching stab that wouldn't let him rest. He wasn't that sleepy anyway and he had something to do so he wasn't bored either. He'd left the lamp on, the one on 'his' side of the bed, promising Lisbon that he'd turn it off after he finished working his latest sudoku puzzle. That had been hours ago but he'd left it on to study her.

He'd never actually watched her sleep through the night before. He'd woke several times and seen her snuggled into him but mostly her face was always hidden. She had a habit of nuzzling his neck and generally if he pushed her away, she'd just do the same thing to the pillow but this time she hadn't. She was on her stomach with her arms tucked under the pillow, facing him and surprisingly that's where she'd been most of the night. She'd tossed once or twice but usually ended up right back in the same position. He knew she'd been tired when they crawled into bed, knew that she'd been dead on her feet for the second half of their day at work but it wasn't until he was staring at her in a moment like this that he realized how truly exhausted she'd been.

She didn't look as tired now, her breathing wasn't as deep as it'd been an hour ago and he found himself wanting to wake her. He shouldn't, he should let her sleep but for some reason he wanted to see her eyes, sleepy and unfocused. He knew that if he tried to turn his head, he'd probably have a crick in his neck from staring at her since she'd fallen asleep roughly six hours ago. He hadn't convinced himself to try resting on his uninjured side yet, he also hadn't convinced himself to leave the stitches in his forehead alone when they itched.

When his hands twitched to touch her, he decided no time like the present and slowly rolled. It wasn't too bad, though it didn't let him forget about the stunt he'd pulled the week before. Neither had Lisbon though, she still hadn't fully forgiven him but he was just grateful that she hadn't called it quits yet. Getting closer to that month mark and she was still by his side, wearing his ring.

Groaning softly, he reached towards her, his sore shoulder protesting but the doctor had said to try and use it as normally as possible. He assumed touching his wife was normal enough. Fingers ghosting over her bare shoulder, he felt the desire in him rise. They'd been torturing themselves lately, always touching, caressing and then just stopping. Every little move she made turned him on more and more as the days passed. Watching her sleep had only seemed to fuel his fire, watching her shift now, pressing her cheek into the cloth covered pillow, had him sliding his hand further.

His fingers brushed over the thin strap of her tank top, meeting the tousled hair that rested over her her back. He felt the tightening in his lower region, felt himself stirring as the smooth texture of the dark strands slid easily to the side, exposing her neck. In that second he knew he was going to wake her, he was going to do it slowly and he was going to exhaust the pent up sexual tension they'd both been suffering from.

One thing now in mind, he tugged the blankets off of her carefully, hoping not to wake her too soon and kicked his own off at the same time. It didn't bother him when the comforter fell to the floor, he didn't care a bit about anything cloth related. He didn't want anything covering the woman still sleeping soundly, he wanted everything gone. Clothes included, and he wasn't stopping this time. He wouldn't be able to, he'd put it off before, thinking that they weren't ready and he still wasn't sure that they really were but it was getting ridiculous. They were to the point of becoming highly aroused from just the brushing of hands, it was time to do something. He wasn't going to stop himself from going too far this time, unless she asked.

He took his time with the next part, sliding his hand down her back, never stopping the light pressure until he reached the back of her thighs. She moved, slowly coming to as he moved closer to press his front into her side. He nestled his hips into her, feeling the warmth of her body through the layers of fabric and making him harden from the added stimulation. With a heavy grunt, he gently rolled her over, pushing at her shoulder and using most of his weight to anchor her in place when her limbs tried to move right back.

It hurt him to hold himself up but he did it anyway, straddling her thighs, pressing his arousal heavily into her and letting his lips latch onto her neck - drawing a soft moan from the partially asleep woman. Her body reacted to him instantly, not waiting for her fuzzy mind to catch up, arching into him as his hand pulled the hem of her top up over her chest. When he forced himself to break contact from her velvety skin, he tugged on the fabric bunched under her arms and noticed that her sleepy eyes were trained on his face, unsure and glazed in hunger. She was beautifully breathtaking.

"W-What are you doing?" She was confused and her mind still sleep numbed, Lisbon wasn't sure why her blankets were missing or why her shirt was being pulled from her body but when his husky voice answered her, she no longer cared.

"Undressing you." Her hazy mind didn't comprehend much till he pulled her towards him, lifting her upper body off the mattress with a grunt of pain. As if they had a mind of their own, her arms raised to let him gently pull the piece of clothing the rest of the way off. He eased her back slowly, she felt her head hit the pillow and a sigh escaped as he ran his hand down her side, the touch barely felt. She could feel the goosebumps rise, her body quivering from the soft caress he used to explore the skin that had just been revealed. Touching her everywhere, her sides, her navel, tiptoeing up her sternum, causing her eyes to flutter closed.

A strange heaviness weighed in her stomach but she ignored it and tried to focus on him, on what he was doing to her. On the way her body reacted to him. It worked, she managed to quell whatever it was and slipped into the heat of the moment.

Her lips were moving, trying to find words but all that came out were labored breaths with each heave of her chest. She knew what was happening but she didn't know why, she knew it felt exhilarating but she had no idea why he'd woke her up for this when he'd been so against it just last week. When his fingers ghosted over her nipple, she pressed her hips into his causing them both to gasp for air, momentarily distracting her from her thoughts and making her own hands do some exploring.

The ache between her thighs intensified as his palm came to rest over her breast, kneading it gently and making her suddenly aware of his mouth trailing kisses along her jaw. She felt like he was everywhere all at once, his body burning into hers, imprinting into her skin, branding her. It was so different than anything they'd done before, so much more intimate. He was touching her, exciting her, causing her to feel like nothing else mattered. Making her believe that it was always supposed to be like this, that he was always supposed to be letting his mouth nip it's way down to join his hand and that she was always supposed to be arching into him, body begging for more while holding onto him as tightly as possible.

Her fingers gripped his shoulder when his lips and teeth replaced the hand that had been teasing her, sending a pulse to her core. He groaned into her chest, one of discomfort and her foggy head cleared enough for her to realize that she was hurting him, squeezing his bruised shoulder and causing him pain.

"S-sorry." She let go, choosing to grip his curls instead, to enjoy the moment she was captured in before it ended. Part of her was still thinking that he'd pull back at the last second. She expected it, what she didn't expect was to be so comfortable with the idea of this, with actually lying under him with his mouth on her breast and his hand slipping the last barrier of cloth she was wearing down her legs.

The heart that had been beating erratically since she'd drowsily opened her eyes, was becoming more frantic and just like that, she was panicking. As soon as she felt him drag his fingers up the inside of her thigh, lightly skimming over the one place she needed him the most, she whimpered a small hoarse 'stop'. It wasn't that she didn't like it, on the contrary, she was frozen with longing but that strange feeling that had settled in her stomach kicked up a notch and made it impossible for her to push it back down. It made her feel like she was nervous, she'd never been nervous when it came to sex before - not since her younger days.

There was a pause in movement as Jane shifted against her, feeling her tense and lifting his head. His hands stopped moving, stopped their tender touches and whispered caress. She missed it immediately and forced herself to open her eyes, forced herself to meet his stare. He actually had her naked and pinned beneath him and she wanted to ask questions, when she'd been craving him for so long - it was a shocking revelation.

She wiggled against him, his eyes slipped shut, lips parting in anticipation and she almost gave in. She almost let her hands trail down his back, and push his boxers out of the way but she didn't. As badly as she wanted to just forget everything and let him proceed with bringing her to the edge, she had to know what was going on, she needed to know why she'd woke to this. Seeing the different emotions burning in his gaze, flickering across his face, she forgot the words she wanted to say and furrowed her brow while trying to think of something.

"Teresa, are you okay?"

"I-I..." She didn't know. She was curious, nervous and trying to find a reason for it. She wasn't sure she was okay at all, she had no way to answer such a simple question. She wanted to say yes, she wanted to give in to the pleasure but something was holding her back. She knew she probably resembled a fish, her mouth opening and closing as she searched for words but a loud beeping saved her. The alarm, she suddenly loved the hunk of plastic. It continued, startling them both and causing Jane to moan almost pitifully when Lisbon stretched to turn it off. "We uh, we have to go to work."

Dropping her gaze to his chest, she pushed lightly against him in hopes that he'd move but he didn't. He settled his weight on his knees, taking her face in his hands, thumbs caressing each cheek and making her eyes drift back up to his.

"Hey, s'okay." A shaky sigh escaped her lungs and with a small smile, he moved to let his forehead touch hers. The stitches he'd received felt weird on her skin but she didn't say anything, the way he nudged her nose with his own kept her from it. "It's okay to be nervous."

"I'm sorry but I can't....right now. Not right now." With another light shove, she pleaded with him and he let her go, let her roll from the bed and grab for pieces of clothing to hide herself.

* * *

If there was ever a word to describe the way two people who had almost had sex but didn't, acted around it each other it was definitely 'awkward'. Lisbon felt bad for leaving him hanging in the end after letting him think that things were fine but she had needed to figure out what was going on in her head, in her stomach. She hated feeling nervous, she hated not being certain of her body's reactions and Jane was so good at taking all of her control and tossing it out the window. She'd been a little overwhelmed and a lot aroused but something had made her stop him. Something that she hadn't fully figured out yet.

If it was simply nerves, she would have let him talk her down. She wouldn't have fled the bed and grabbed anything she could find to cover herself. It didn't make sense, he'd already seen her naked. She had no idea why she'd done that but things had been really tense ever since. They kept staring at each other only to look away when caught, Lisbon was unsure and Jane just seemed more concerned than anything.

The team had noticed. That had been her biggest fear since marrying him twenty-two days ago. She'd been terrified that it would affect their work and the team would catch on to the not-so-traditional thing they had going. Cho had confronted her, not even an hour ago. He'd asked what was the deal with her and Jane, asked what was really going on and she'd stared dumbly at him for at least ten minutes. She hadn't known how to answer but eventually she'd simply shrugged it off saying they just had a fight and made him leave after a remark about the unprofessional questioning.

Head in hands, she let her elbows rest atop her desk and tried to think. She wanted him, she loved him and they'd been so close. She was the one who had offered him sex the week before and now she was the one pulling away, acting as though their roles had been reversed.

Jane had stayed on the couch so far, he hadn't moved much, hadn't pestered her at all but when she was in the same room as him, he'd stare at her. It made her uneasy but his eyes were soft, worried. He wasn't mad, he didn't act like she'd done something wrong, he was simply concerned and that bothered her more. She'd rather deal with his anger, maybe it could make the scenes in her head go away.

She kept picturing it, well more like feeling it. His hands against her flushed and sensitive skin, peeling her out of her clothes, his mouth on her...her cheeks tinted pink remembering the feel of his lips against her chest, teasing her and making everything seem far away. He had been doing everything right, it all felt so good and he seemed to know where she liked to be touched so it made no sense whatsoever that she'd stopped him.

A knock interrupted her thoughts, and she cleared her throat in attempts to calm herself before the door opened. She didn't say come in, she knew that her team members tended to know twice and then walk just in. Except for Jane who simply only knocked if he knew there was something terribly wrong. Another knock and Cho was poking his head in again. She was praying it was something work related, but when he walked in and heavily sat across from her, she knew it wasn't.

"What's really going on?"

"Cho this is work, we're state agents and we're not paid to sit around and..."

"If that's how you want to do it Boss, then you go out there and sit in the bullpen. Listen to Jane ask every two minutes if we've talked to you and if you're okay and I'll sit in here with the peace and quiet." As annoyed as she was at the thought of her personal life being brought up at work, she was slightly guilty that Jane was resorting to pestering the team for answers.

"I'm fine. Tell him I'm fine."

"Why don't you tell him yourself?"

"I-I told you, we're figh..."

"No you're not. You're not mad and neither is he." Sometimes Lisbon thought Cho was just as perceptive as Jane. The man just wasn't as cocky about it. "Are you two really married?"

After a few seconds of stunned silence and wondering if Van Pelt and Rigsby were thinking the same thing, she tried to hold back her temper and answer as calmly as possible. She hated anyone bringing up her personal life when on the job. It was worse when it was Cho, he always wore his interrogation face and she felt like that's exactly what she was being put through. He didn't shy away from her glares like Rigsby or Van Pelt did.

"First of all, yes. You were there. Second, we're done talking about this."

"Alright." A sigh of relief echoed from her lips when he made his way back to the door. "I'll tell Jane you want to talk to him."

"Wha- no, Cho!" Grumbling under her breath as he continued to walk away, she thought of slamming him with desk duty for awhile but then decided against it. Even if he was meddling, she realized his heart was in the right place. Maybe she'd still give him a few days, just to remind him she was the boss and that kind of behavior was unacceptable.

Taking a few deep breaths, she waited for Jane. She knew he'd come. She knew he was wondering what was wrong with her, knew that he wanted to know why she'd fled and it was only when she really let herself think that she realized why she'd stopped him. Why she'd offered sex last week only to stop it from happening earlier that morning. Something had changed in that amount of time. She'd went from believing he loved her as a friend and offering herself to him for pure satisfaction purposes to believing he really loved her. It was different.

She hadn't felt the need to have the answers when she'd told him that they could have sex because she'd thought there would be nothing to it. No emotional aspect, just mechanical movement to calm them, relax them into the being married thing. Now that she believed he loved her in a romantic sense it took on a whole new meaning. It wouldn't be sex, it'd be stronger than that - at least she hoped - and she needed to talk with him before they could take that step. She needed to open up and so did he. As long as he really did love her and she hadn't just talked herself into believing it, then they couldn't just sleep together when she still had no clue why they were married and not just simply dating.

Perhaps she was over complicating things, but she was good at it and so was Jane. Surely them being husband and wife proved that. Nothing was ever simple for them, they wouldn't let it be because they weren't satisfied with simple.

"Hey." Jane's hesitant and soft voice made his presence known, made her try to muster a polite smile.

"Hey. Come in." She could have sent him away and swore that Cho had lied but he was wearing the face of a lost puppy and she couldn't be that cruel. He was confused and worried. She couldn't make it worse by being mean to him for no reason. Plus she was kind of soft on him since he'd hurt himself, well she was now, not so much right after it'd happened. He didn't sit like she'd assumed he would, he stood in front of her desk, with his hands behind his back and gaze trained on hers.

"Did I do something wrong this morning?"

"No. No you were definitely doing everything right." Startled by her blunt approach, Lisbon was grateful the door was closed.

"Then why, I just thought you were okay with it. I never would've woke you like that if I'd known..."

"I was okay with it. I still am. I just didn't think this morning was the right time - that's all." There was more to it, and she could see that he knew but it wasn't a conversation they needed to have here. "I'm sorry."

She was sorry, she felt horrible about it but she'd known that if she went along with, let herself succumb to the ecstasy then she'd regret it later. She hated the cliche 'it wasn't the right moment' but honestly that's what it'd felt like. It wouldn't be right until they opened up a little more, shared some things and cleared the air of the questions that still polluted their union. She didn't want to have those things bouncing around in her head when they did take that step. It would ruin it for her.

The pause between them settled heavily but it wasn't as tense as it'd been just minutes ago. She was thankful for that, she wasn't sure how they managed to do this though. They'd get into the ease of their arrangement and then something would disrupt it and make it awkward again.

An almost bright smile lit up Jane's face as he rested his hands on the edge of her desk and brought his face towards hers. His voice was something akin to a husky whisper when he finally broke their little moment of silence.

"I have some things I need to take care of today, you don't mind if I take off do you? You can call if you need me."

"Uh, sure. Go ahead."

"Thank you." With a curious expression, she watched him turn to leave and was somewhat relieved but disappointed at the same time. A rash decision was made, she seemed to make millions of those when it came to Jane. Standing from her chair, she rounded her desk and caught his hand before he could reach for the door.

"Wait," He turned to face her, opening his mouth to ask the obvious question but she didn't give him the chance. Mustering up every ounce of courage, she stretched up and pressed her lips to his. She kissed him, she brushed her mouth over his softly and gripped his jacket in her fist. It took him a few seconds to respond but once he did, he was resting his hands on her lower back and letting his lips dance against hers. She couldn't let it get carried away, they were at work but that didn't stop her from not wanting to let it end. With reluctance, she knew it had to and she pulled back because of that. "I just wanted to say that I'll see you when I get home."

"Come home at a decent hour okay?"

"Be easy on your shoulder, you have an orthopaedic appointment this week." Lisbon knew he didn't need to be reminded but she didn't really know what else to say, she was grasping at straws. She'd never been the one to initiate the kiss before. He always did it and she had to admit that it felt a little strange but it was still nice. She was proud of herself, it made her feel like she was taking a step in the right direction. Now they just needed to have a little talk and hopefully things would continue to move forward.

**a/n: This chapter actually continues in the next one. You didn't really expect me to let them sleep together did you? I like torturing them too much. :D But I do believe that they're making progress.**

**Next Up: Part 2 of this chapter: _"Patrick...is this why you left work?" Her eyes searched her apartment, taking in the meal waiting for her, the soft music playing in the background and the pallet of blankets and pillows in her living room floor. She assumed that was for a movie since the pillows were lined up to face the TV but she didn't really know. _**

_**"We never had a honeymoon, I thought it was the least I could do and I know you want to talk so..."**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Not mine in any way. **

**A/N: Here's another chapter of this incredibly ravenous story that seems to think it needs to be the center of attention. Ah well, I've learned if I get an update of it out of the way, I can generally get on with my other stories so why fight it? Enjoy. **

The sun was starting to sink in the sky, getting lower but not quite to the point of setting just yet. It was still pretty early when Lisbon locked up her office and headed for the elevator, she ignored the stares from her team members who were still at their desks. Jane had asked her to be home at a decent hour and since she hadn't been able to concentrate at all, she was leaving. It didn't matter that it was only five thirty, they didn't have anything pressing going on and every time she tried to do some form of work, she thought back to the morning she'd shared with her husband. The morning that left her aching with need and want.

The elevator ride, she didn't remember, but she did recall replaying the steamy morning scene in her head until she was suddenly in the parking lot. Her body knew where it was going, she didn't have to pay attention but she managed to shake the feel of Jane's hands on her bare skin for a few moments to unlock her door and climb in. She figured driving on autopilot might not be the best idea, so she tried to focus. She really tried, she just couldn't shake the way her cheeks were heating, her body flushing or the fact that she was shifting in her seat to relieve the pressure before she even pulled out of her parking space.

It'd been intense between them lately, becoming one intimate moment after another but she hadn't thought she'd be this desperate after one very close call. Just one, granted she'd been completely naked and ready for him but she was the one who pushed him away. The one who needed time to think and now she was the one suffering. She didn't regret the decision, she knew it was the right one. She couldn't relax enough and it wouldn't have been a comfortable experience. He'd had her stripped, bare, and no longer hidden by cloth in no time at all and she hadn't even been able to get her hands to cooperate enough to touch him back, undress him too. She wanted their first time having sex to be collaborative, participation from both sides. She didn't want him to do all the work or she really wouldn't enjoy it.

She wanted several things to come before she went through with it, before she gave in and engaged in such a relationship altering physical activity. So many things needed to be cleared up before she could let go and enjoy a loving romp between the sheets. She knew he'd be easy, tender and he'd take things slow. She'd been able to tell just by the way he'd caressed and lazily moved over her before she'd crawled out from under him. It was in his body language and she had to admit that had made giving in seem a lot easier but she hadn't because she couldn't. It was no longer going to simply be 'just sex' and she needed some answers.

The road signs were starting to blur together as she fought to keep her mind on the task at hand and not the one she'd halted early that morning. She wasn't on her way home to jump him so she didn't know why her body seemed to think she was or why her mind was contradicting her body's reactions so harshly instead of concentrating on the other cars around her.

Coming to a stop at a red light, she fished her phone out of her pocket, typed up a quick message and sent it to the man who had her so worked up. It wasn't until after her thumb lifted from the send button and a car behind her started honking that she realized two important things: the light was green again and she'd just text Jane to tell him she was on her way home. It was domestic, she'd never done it before. It made her feel like the marriage was starting to sink in - she hadn't even thought about it before she done it.

Resisting the urge to give the incessant honk happy man behind her a piece of her mind, she drove on. The steering wheel felt good in her hands, made her feel in control after feeling so out of it all day long. She couldn't say she was focused on the road even though she knew how dangerous it could be if you weren't. Her head was just too messed up to let her give one thing her full attention which explained why she was suddenly comparing the smooth texture of the wheel in her hands to the soft feel of Jane's skin.

With a groan, she effortlessly spotted her apartment and prayed that her awkwardly naughty thoughts would cease as soon as the pent up sexual tension was relieved. Even though she had no intention of having sex tonight, she still hoped it went away. She had told herself all day long that it was merely a reaction to the way she'd ended things, to the look on Jane's face when he'd told her to be home at a decent hour and the sweet kiss she'd given him before he left. She was becoming more comfortable with their status, more open with it. She'd kissed him in her office while the door was unlocked, for her that was huge.

Another reason she'd left the office early and was parking her car outside of her apartment would be the fact that she figured it was a good time to ambush him into giving straight answers. They could order take out - she really didn't feel like cooking - lounge on the couch and talk things over. She didn't expect for him to be doing anything besides watching TV or taking a nap which worked well with her plan.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket when she passed his car and headed for her door, resisting the urge to run as the sensation of a full bladder made itself known. There was already a smile forming before she even read that it was a text from Jane, or the contents the message held. She couldn't believe how easy it felt to be married to him, it certainly wasn't as hard as it'd been to begin with. Just twenty two days in, almost a month and her heart had went from being completely obliterated from being pulled so many different directions to simply stretching to accommodate the tugging. The simple message on her screen, kept her attention until she reached for the doorknob, a short 'door's open' was all it said but it meant he was awake.

Pushing the door open, she stepped in and made sure to lock it behind her. She didn't like leaving it unlocked, even if she was home and Jane knew that. She figured he'd unlocked it just for her so she wouldn't have to search through her keys - it was a sweet gesture, a very appreciated one since she needed to pee. He really was a sweet man, in a very unconventional way. The first thing she noticed was the sounds, a few things clanging in her kitchen and music. Soft music and then a casually dressed Jane was brushing by her to set two filled plates on the table.

"Patrick...is this why you left work?" Her eyes searched her apartment, taking in the meal waiting for her, ears listening to the soft music playing in the background as she noticed the pallet of blankets and pillows in her living room floor. She assumed that was for a movie since the pillows were lined up to face the TV but she didn't really know.

"We never had a honeymoon, I thought it was the least I could do and I know you want to talk so..." His arms spread in a Ta-Da fashion and she couldn't hold back the tiny laugh that bubbled up. "Talk or food first?"

"How 'bout both?"

"Sure." She watched him situate himself in front of his plate of what looked to be Alfredo. She really loved Alfredo, and it'd been so long since she'd had the kind that wasn't prepackaged and cooked by microwave. Nothing ever tasted as good if you only had to add water and cook for ten minutes. As badly as she wanted to dig in, her rumbling stomach seconding that option, she needed to use the restroom and it was verging on the point of being unbearable.

"I'm just gonna go wash up." He didn't say anything, she knew he wouldn't and after sprinting up her stairs, she was happy to find her bathroom. Shocked by the sight of a bottle of wine next to the tub, she hesitantly set to work on getting her pants down while staring at the wine and wondering what part of Jane's plan it fit into. A sigh fell from her lips, echoing through the walls as she relieved herself. Her eyes widened when she realized how loud it had been and glancing at the floor, she hoped the music covered the sound.

After washing her hands, pulling her hair back into a messy bun and changing into denim shorts and a nice shirt, she made her back to the food. She felt out of place in work attire with the scene he'd set. Casual wear seemed much more appropriate and appreciated if the way his eyes roamed when she joined him at the table, had anything to say about it.

One look and she felt the tingling in her lower region start up again. Pushing it down, best she could, she fumbled with her fork and shoved some of the noodles into her mouth hastily. She was hoping to distract herself.

"Whoa, slow down or you'll end up choking." A glass of water was next to her plate, Jane's fingers scooting it closer as she chewed slowly while her cheeks tinted in embarrassment. Reaching forward, her pinky brushed his when her hand circled the cool glass. She hated feeling like they were on their first date when she was in her own home, their home and they'd been married almost a month. She felt stupid, lifting the glass to her lips in a sad attempt to get her thoughts organized.

"Sorry, just really hungry. Thank you for this, it's delicious."

"You're welcome. Now about these things you want to talk about?" They both stole a bite before she answered.

"Please don't get mad but I need to know okay? I pushed you away this morning because I have to know. Why aren't we just dating?"

"Teresa..." She knew that tone, it was the same he used when he annoyed but she shook her head to cut off the twist of words he was about to come off with that would no doubt leave her more confused.

"No, Patrick just listen to me. I-I believe you." Staring into the food on her plate, she slowly lifted her gaze to meet his. "I believe you when you tell me that you love me and it changed a few things."

"Like what?"

"Like how I said we could have sex, after we'd kissed. I can't now." Just by the change in tension, Lisbon knew he didn't quite get what she was trying to say and she knew that she'd have to become even more uncomfortable before he'd understand. Taking a deep breath, she ignored the flush in her skin and cleared her throat to get a hold of herself. "It's different. It wouldn't be just sex would it?"

"No."

"I was okay with not knowing as long as I thought I was just helping you out as a friend who loves you but now that I believe you, it's different. I'm sorry that doesn't make any sense." Using her food as an escape, she shoveled in another mouth full. She was definitely not used to talking about something so intimate out in the open like this.

"I think I know what you mean. I'm not mad."

"So...why'd you propose instead of just asking me to dinner?"

"Selfish remember? I wanted you to myself." Detecting the hint of something more serious lying just below the surface, she tilted her head to the side, letting her lips slightly part as he became the one to avoid eye contact. "I was afraid to lose you, okay?"

"Lose me?"

"You'd been dating that guy for months and I couldn't stand the thought of losing you after finally realizing how much I loved you, he didn't treat you right..." It was the complete vulnerability in his voice, the way he was slumping into his chair in attempts to hide that had her reaching for his hand and resting her fingers over his. She knew since the beginning that there had to be an underlying cause to the whole marriage and she felt like she was getting close.

"I wasn't dating him. We just went on dates and Patrick, you couldn't have lost me."

"You would've left." She wasn't used to the broken side of him, even after catching glimpses of it over the years, she still wasn't used to it. Gently squeezing his hand, she pushed her plate away and leaned forward.

"Where would I go? If you'd asked me to dinner instead of proposing, where would I go? How would you have lost me?"

"You would've given up easier, given up the relationship and moved on. I'm sorry if it sounds insane and controlling but I lost one woman I loved, I wasn't about to let you get away." It did sound crazy to her but her heart still flipped at the raw emotion he was letting her see and in a way, she understood. She did, she knew what he meant and while she wasn't sure she liked his reasoning, she still offered him a comforting smile. It wasn't as bad as she'd expected, not as dark but still holding a hint of shadows. Still being semi related to Red John but she didn't really fear that it revolved around the dead serial killer anymore, or that she was being used to replace his previous wife. A heaviness had been lifted from her chest and they weren't even done yet.

"Thank you." Their hands were still gripping, softly in a comforting manner and Lisbon wasn't about to be the one to pull away. She didn't feel hungry anymore and when his hand gently moved out from under hers it was to pick up his plate while reaching to grab hers.

"You done?" The vulnerable Jane was gone, replaced by his usual self and she let it happen. He was probably panicking about like she had when she'd rushed from the bed stark naked. He'd just revealed something and she was grateful but the best part was that she didn't love him less and she didn't want to end their marriage. With a nod, she let him stick her plate in the fridge, along with the pan he'd cooked in which was still full. Her stomach didn't rumble like it had been but she was no where near stuffed. She knew that in a few hours she'd be hungry again but for the time being, she was content to move away from the table.

She headed for the pillows lining the living room floor, approaching them, staring down at them and toeing one of them gently, she was tempted to plop down but she knew that Jane had a plan. She'd let him do this, after opening up to her, she'd let him have this one. After all, he was sweet enough to set everything up while she was at work and surprise her with a 'honeymoon'.

The foot she'd been tapping the pillow with ceased movement when it struck her. Honeymoon. Honeymoon, typically people spent those engaging in activities that didn't require any clothes. Frozen by the thought, she knew she wasn't about to sleep with him yet. Not when she'd pushed him away just hours ago. It'd be wrong and she was still thinking about things.

"Teresa, it's not a pool. You don't have to test it." The teasing tone gruff and warm against her ear, made her whip around to face him, his hand lightly touching her hip. "There's a bottle of wine next to the tub if you want to relax in a hot bath or we can stay down here."

"Here's fine." Dropping to the floor, she had to bite back a groan when she hit a little harder than she'd intended. The blankets hadn't softened it much but it was comfortable. It took her a few seconds to clear her mind, lying back against the sea of pillows surrounding her but once she did, she noticed that the blankets weren't hers and only four of the ten to fifteen pillows were. The comforter she was resting on looked new and so did all the plushy navy pillows. "Are these..."

"I bought them today. Specifically for this and I have no idea what we'll do with them afterwards." A cocky grin lit up his face and she couldn't believe how he had looked so vulnerable just minutes ago. His thigh brushed along hers, fingers touching her shoulder as he settled himself next to her. The jeans he was wearing felt rough yet smooth against the bare skin of her leg, causing her to involuntarily shiver. The thoughts and heat surging through her body that she'd managed to push down during their talk was back. She was beginning to think she was going to explode.

The pile of pillows, left them elevated a bit and more in a reclining position than lying flat on their backs but Lisbon liked it. She knew it didn't bother his shoulder as bad. He swore he was fine every time she asked but she could see when he was hurting, pushing it too far. He'd pushed it this morning, leaning his weight on it and she could tell he could definitely feel it now. It was in his eyes but she didn't point it out. He liked to think he was tough and she didn't point out the stitches over his eye every five minutes so she wouldn't do that with his shoulder either.

They were both reminders of the way she'd felt when he'd fallen from that roof, and perhaps that was why she understood his reasoning for proposing. She'd thought she had lost him and she'd hated it. Hated the feeling in her chest, the tears pricking the corners of her eyes and the way she screamed for him. When he fell, her vocal chords had shouted his name though she had no idea why. It wasn't like her scream would've stopped the fall.

Blinking rapidly, she realized the tears she remembered were trying to work their way out now. Jane had went through the trouble of making her dinner and she wasn't going to cry. She quickly swiped the back of her hand across her cheeks. It was her attempt to hide the wet trails that had leaked out but of course Jane had been staring at her the entire time, one of his hands coming to rest on her thigh as he rolled towards her.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." A flash of pain showed in his expression as he moved the pillows to flatten himself out and propped himself up on his elbow. The hand on her thigh moving up to her cheek, had her following his lead and pushing the extra fluffy squares out of the way to mimic his position. She didn't say anything to protest when he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against his chest. She was almost to the point of just expecting him to touch her and hold her, not quite there but she was getting close. It wasn't a surprise anymore.

"I know you're lying."

"It's not important Patrick."

"If it has you in tears then yes it is." It kind of broke her heart to think that he'd been terrified of losing her - she never expected something like that from Jane - and now she wouldn't tell him that she'd been scared of losing him too? It was confusing but she just didn't want to ruin what he'd planned. It was obvious he put a lot of thought into it. The soft music flowing in the air around them proved that.

She wanted to thank him properly, prove that she appreciated what he'd gone through and even though they were simply lounging on a pallet in the floor this was her favorite day of being his wife. Well so far it was her favorite. He'd given her a bit of the truth, cooked her dinner, and was currently nuzzling her cheek with his own. It was almost catlike and she couldn't stop herself from tilting her head back to brush her mouth across his.

Lips touched lips, caressing softly, parting instantaneously as Lisbon pushed herself further into him. She let him hug her tighter, let him snake his hand into her hair, pulling the elastic band until the strands were free. She didn't try to take the kiss any further than a languid and warm meeting of mouths but Jane nibbled at her bottom lip, sucking it between his teeth and soothing the sting with slow sweeps of his tongue. It wasn't her fault when a moan sounded low in her throat, it was his for rolling to his back and pulling her on top of him.

She kissed him harder, with more fervor when she moved to straddle his hips but he slowed it back down before she could figure it out. She was foggy, confused as to why he was doing something like that but she couldn't make herself pull away to ask. She allowed it, a heavy sigh leaving her parted lips when his hand worked it's way between their bodies and popped open the button on her shorts. The sound of her zipper brought her back, forcing her to end the kiss and leaving her with her eyes closed, nose brushing against his in a loving manner. She felt sorry for him, she'd pushed him away once today and she was fixing to do it again.

She could feel his breath fanning across her lips as she whispered the same word she'd told him that morning; stop. His fingers didn't listen this time, they pushed at the denim as he pressed a light barely there kiss over her bottom lip. His mouth gently closing around the plump flesh, coaxing her hands to work their way under his shirt. Fingers brushing his bare skin, she finally let herself slump completely against him feeling boneless and unable to move.

"Patrick..."

"Trust me, just trust me." She did, completely and that's what had her pulse rising when he worked the shorts over her hips. He was groaning when she wiggled to kick them the rest of the way off but it wasn't from arousal - though she could tell he wasn't immune to their actions - it was from pain, she was pushing too hard on his shoulder. She always ended up hurting him.

She trusted him but she wasn't so sure she trusted herself and considering the way she seemed to always grab at his sore shoulder, she was worried. She knew he wasn't going to try anything but when his fingers skimmed up the backs of her thighs, she wondered if perhaps she needed to remind him that she wasn't ready for that part of the honeymoon just yet.

"What are you doing to me?" Her question came out a lot more breathy and smaller than she'd intended but when he simply gripped the hem of her top in his hands and pressed his mouth to hers, she stopped wondering. All she knew was that her husband was driving her crazy and she didn't want him to stop. It was a complete reversal of how she'd felt at their 'wedding' and the day after, and the day after and...well until just this week really.

"I'm not doing anything, the rest of your clothes are staying in place."

"Okay." She didn't know what else to say, didn't know what he was talking about until he gently rolled her off of him, settling her against his side. It became a little clearer when he pulled his own pants off and discarded his shirt along with them. She was held captive by the sight of him stretching his arms over his head to tug it off, the muscles contracting beneath his skin. She didn't move, she stayed nestled against a bunch of pillows until he laid back down and let her rest her head on his good shoulder. "What are we doing?"

"Well my dear, I'm fixing to go get that wine I left by the tub and then we're going simply laze around, enjoy the music and drink."

"Don't think that getting me drunk is going to make me sleep with you any sooner."

"Hadn't crossed my mind." With a cheeky smile and wink, he gave her a squeeze and hopped up. "I wouldn't do that to you, and I know you wanted to talk more but I think we should do one topic at a time. Otherwise we're going to end up fighting constantly and I don't want you to doubt this anymore."

"I'm getting there Patrick, I don't think we made a mistake necessarily. We probably should have thought it through a little more. I stopped you this morning mainly because it'd be rushed..."

"Not this again, we didn't and aren't rushing anything."

"That's not what I meant, I was saying that we had work and it would have been a cramped time frame." A sheepish smile took over his features as he offered a quiet 'oh' and then turned towards the stairs. She had to admit that she was slipping easily into feeling comfortable with being married. She had thought it'd be tense and awkward all the time like the way it started but she was learning more about him and it was becoming easier to convince herself that she was wearing his ring for a reason. She hoped she'd be doubt free one day, but for the time being she was okay with the new comfort.

She'd been positive that they'd be really distant after their morning but if anything they acted closer, touching more intimately and pushing the boundaries. She'd been wrong and she was glad. She didn't like being so tense around him, didn't like always walking on egg shells and it wasn't so bad anymore. She was about to drink wine and enjoy a relaxing evening with Jane, it seemed like a good plan and it had taken her mind away from being turned on by anything remotely reminding her of the man, though her body was still kind of humming from the kisses they'd just shared and the way he rid her of her shorts.

He'd done it so she'd be comfortable if they happened to fall asleep but it was early and she found it ridiculous. It didn't matter, she wasn't putting the article of clothing back on, she just found it a little strange. Then again, anything involving Jane tended to be verging on the strange side but he'd made her a cheesy romantic honeymoon - minus candles and roses - and she had to thank him for that. She didn't regret marrying him, she was just trying to work it all out. To make sense of everything and maybe that was her flaw but when the man situated himself at her side once again, open wine bottle in hand and offered it to her, she accepted.

Was it still crazy to be married to Patrick Jane? Yes. Was she slowly coming to terms with the fact that love was the reason? Partially. Would it ever be wrapped up in a pretty bow? No. Their relationship was one of those hideous boxes at Christmas, poorly wrapped by some great aunt who only had brown paper sacks and shoe laces to work with but it was theirs.

The wine helped loosen them up, helped them let go of the things holding them back from being relaxed and calm. Lisbon had found herself buried beneath the pillows, Jane continually adding more until he only had his own left. She could see him through the cracks, and when he took another swig from the bottle, she pushed herself up. He watched her with an odd kind of look on his face, one that reminded her of his expression when he was trying to crack the case. It worried her a bit and when he spoke, she realized the worry was well placed.

"I need a nickname for you..."

"I'm still not used to you calling me Teresa." Truthfully, she didn't want a nickname. She still hadn't reached that level of compatibility with him yet. It was a gradual process. They'd pretty much done everything backwards and she wasn't quite to the point of wanting any kind of pet name. Though she had a few for him and all were rather explicit: ass, son of a bitch, jackass...the list was really endless but it was different. He wanted to give her a nickname because he was thinking that everything was better with them, that they still had some things to talk about but the worst was conquered. She didn't believe that yet, she wouldn't let herself. She believed that they'd moved forward and progressed but that still didn't make her comfortable with him assigning her a nickname.

"I've got it....Reeses, like the peanut butter cup."

"No, that's horrible. I refuse."

"I like it." Letting her forehead fall to his chest, she groaned. At least she could revel in the banter that came back at random intervals.

"I'll hurt you, I really will. I might love the fact that you put a lot of thought into this 'honeymoon' thing but..."

"Oh no, this isn't the honeymoon part. This is just a relaxing night that leads up to me telling you that our real honeymoon will be in Venice, Italy when you so choose." Jaw dropping at the words her ears had heard, Lisbon lifted her head to look him in the eye and was rewarded by a seriousness in his gaze that had her heart pounding. She'd always dreamed of visiting Venice.

"Really?"

"Mhm but I don't want to go until all the tension and uncertainties are gone. I want my wife to simply be my wife." She could understand his request, it was simple and she knew what he meant. She needed to get things together before they took a trip like that but she was still amazed at the idea. She'd assumed the dinner and the lounging around was his version of a honeymoon and it was fine with her but then Venice?

Gently letting her hand find his, she wiped all excitement and teasing from her demeanor, letting him see how truly touched she was. Letting him see that they were going somewhere, that they wouldn't be stuck in an uncomfortable and stressful marriage forever. One day they'd be okay, everything would be fine. She hoped it didn't take much longer.

"Can I call you Reeses now?"

"Not unless you want to start sleeping in the floor again."

**a/n: Late late night, please point out any mistakes so I can fix them. My eyes only work till midnight and its 5:50 in the morning so yeah. Hope you enjoyed the little chapter showing some more progression. Hey they have to move forward sometime...otherwise it'd be boring. That being said, I'm also evil...so be prepared.**

**Next: _"Patrick, I'm busy." Lisbon gently bounced the baby in her arms, wanting to throw something at the man for messing with her mind. She already had a little one to keep out of things, she didn't need to put up with him as well._**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Well I have some strawberry ice cream but no Mentalist. Personally, I'm okay with that...I mean it's not like I can eat the Mentalist. :D**

**A/N: So the preview had a few people a little confused. I did that on purpose. I have no idea why this chapter ran away with me. It just did. Blame Jane, he didn't want to stop talking. **

**Nope, this isn't turning into a baby fic, it's strictly all about the marriage but hey, kids have to come up for awkward conversation at one point yeah? Have to keep you guys on your toes...or in this case on the edge of your seats. :D Wouldn't want you to get bored with the story. Now enough rambling, enjoy the new update. Forgive any typos and grammar mistakes, as most of you know I do these really late at night or on very little sleep. Insomnia is a mean mistress that tends to ninja attack your brain. **

Pacing was something that Lisbon had been good at since a young age. Generally her brothers had been the cause for the way she'd wear a path into the carpet and although her pacing extended to other people now days, on this particular one it _was_ actually because of her brother. He was the reason she was trekking back and forth in front of her front door, twisting her rings nervously on her finger. She hadn't told any of her brothers about Jane. She hadn't told them she was dating - and technically she wasn't - or that she'd been engaged for three days and she certainly hadn't mentioned marrying someone. In fact as far as any of them knew, Jane was her consultant and nothing else.

She had no idea how she was going to pull this one off, Jonathan was observative enough to notice that she was wearing rings on her left hand. He wasn't dumb, and yet she'd agreed. She was the reason he was coming over in the first place and she didn't have a clue as to how she would handle this one. She didn't want to open the door and leave her brother in shock and probably more than a little angry that something so big had happened and he didn't know about it.

She tried to get back to the task at hand, the table behind her needing organized so the mail piled dangerously high wouldn't topple over and land in the floor but she couldn't concentrate on anything besides the bats beating their wings in her stomach. It was cleaning house day, thankfully meaning that Jane was currently switching laundry around and completely unaware of her nervousness. She'd never been so happy with her dirty clothes before but they were keeping the man with the nose for prying occupied, so she had to admit she was suddenly fond of the weeks worth of laundry.

There was something about her brother finding out this way that just irked her to no end. She didn't want it to be like this. She knew she'd feel sort of betrayed if one of her brothers married without telling her. She'd been invited to Jon's wedding and she knew he would make a big deal about the emerald stone and smooth gold band. She would too if the roles were reversed. For some reason she'd never thought about this before, never thought of how awkward it would be to tell her family. She didn't talk with them much and just hadn't given it a lot of consideration. Now she was making up for lost time, even considering sticking an oven mitt over her hand and mentioning cooking when he showed up.

Nervously glancing at her watch, she noted that it was almost seven o'clock and he'd always been the punctual one. Dropping her frantic gaze to her hand, she lifted it, eyeing the rings and then made her decision. It wasn't easy, it really wasn't fair either but she didn't want him finding out like this. She'd tell him, she would just not now. Gently placing her thumb and forefinger over the bands, she tugged them off slowly.

Twenty-seven days, nine hours and thirty minutes of constantly wearing them - minus water related activities. It felt wrong to take them off for this, felt so weird when her finger was bare with the slight indention of the jewelry. She missed the weight immediately. There were lines, her skin appearing lighter and she prayed her brother wasn't _'that' _observant. Jane would notice though, she knew he would and slight panic rose in her chest. She didn't know if he'd understand or not but she forcefully shoved the rings in her pocket just as a knock sounded at the door.

Startled by the sudden noise, she looked around to make sure Jane didn't come. He didn't know of her plans to babysit her niece, didn't know that her brother was on his way and certainly didn't need to know that she'd just taken off her wedding rings so she wouldn't have to explain them to the man on the other side of her door.

When she opened her home to the ones waiting, it struck her rather forcefully that if Jane suddenly appeared out of nowhere - he was too good at that - then she'd still have some awkward explaining to do. She really hoped he stayed put but he'd been in there awhile and generally he was back out in just minutes.

Exchanging smiles with her brother, she ushered him inside and tried to calm her racing heart. It wasn't that she was ashamed of being married to Jane, she was just unsure of how to tell people the truth without sounding like a loon and when she told her brothers, it was going to be the truth. She didn't want to lie to them like she had the team.

A car seat was placed next to the door, bright green eyes slowly opening as the little one began to squirm. This was only the second time seeing the baby, she was six months now and Lisbon couldn't believe how big she'd become. Before she could comment, she was wrapped in a hug and hearing a 'thank you' in her ear. She'd agreed to keep the baby overnight because of the tone Jon had used on the phone. He'd seemed upset and their babysitter had backed out, she was the only other person he trusted.

"You're welcome. What time will you be here tomorrow?"

"Early, probably five or six." Her hand slipped easily into his dark hair that she'd always liked to ruffle playfully, doing so as she stepped away from him and towards the little girl dubbed Jolisa. "There's bottles, food, plenty of diapers. Everything you need. She's a happy baby, easy to please so she shouldn't be much trouble."

"Jon-Jon, I think I can handle it." Working on unbuckling the child trying to chew on her finger, Lisbon realized something extremely important. Something that she should have taken into consideration beforehand. She'd agreed to babysit, she hadn't asked Jane and just as she freed the little one, she thought of how he would react. He generally really loved kids, she'd seen him with the a few but that was during cases. Would this be different? She didn't know how he'd feel about keeping a baby overnight and suddenly she felt like complete ass. It'd probably bring back painful memories for him and she hadn't even thought of that until it was too late.

Lifting her niece, she settled her against her chest and turned back to the familiar face smiling at her. Her brother actually had something in common with her husband. They both had that smile, the one that kept them out of trouble but alerted you to the fact that they were thinking devious thoughts. Rolling her eyes, she rubbed the baby's back and hoped she could pull this off. She wasn't bad with babies, she was fine but she didn't know how Jolisa would be once she realized her daddy was gone and she was stuck in a strange new place with unfamiliar faces.

"You look good with a baby Tess."

"Shut up. Go." Eyes darting around, she pushed him towards the door in hopes to get him out before he realized a man was living with her. She could see Jane's shirt draped over the couch from where she was standing and didn't want him to see it.

"Seriously sis, you do." Ignoring his words, she hid the ache they caused. Maybe if she were younger, if she wasn't a CBI agent and if she hadn't married Jane then maybe she'd consider it but she was too old. Her job was too dangerous and she loved it too much to give it up. Jon barely had time to drop the diaper bag and pack'n'play before she had him out the door. "Nice to see you too."

"Sorry," Feeling more than a little guilty for trying to get rid of him, she pressed her lips to his cheek muttering a soft bye and excuse about being in the middle of cooking. She could see that he didn't believe her, there were no smells of food, no sounds associating with a microwave or stove. It was a terrible lie but it worked for the most part. He shot her a curious stare but waved and let her close the door.

She stared at her niece for a few seconds after the door was closed, expecting her to cry but the little one just stared back, wide eyed and blinking. Relieved by her ability to pull it off, she turned, leaned back against the wall and let out the breath she'd been holding. Not a moment too soon as Jane walked through, laundry basket in hand. He'd been folding their clothes, he stopped short when he saw her - well more like when he saw what was in her arms.

"Well hello there. Uh, you have something you want to say, Mrs. Jane? Don't tell me you have a husband and kids three cities over..."

"Ha ha, this is my niece Jolisa. Jojo. I told my brother I'd watch her for the night." Something passed over Jane's face, his eyes dropping and making Lisbon feel as though she'd done something terribly wrong. She should've been thinking. "Is that okay? If it's not I'm sure he'll understand and come back after her."

"No, it's fine. He was here then?"

"Yeah, just left."

"I would've liked to have met him, that's all." Stunned by the words, it slowly started to sink in. He wasn't upset about the baby staying, he was upset because she hadn't introduced him to a member of her family. When his eyes settled on the dark haired girl, she watched a smile bloom over his face. When he let his gaze travel, the smile disappeared, replaced by something undefinable.

Self consciously rubbing her thumb along her bare finger, she froze. She had been hoping to get the rings back on before Jane had the chance to notice. She gave herself away when she shifted the smiling baby to her hip, the little one clapping her hands together the whole time. He was staring at her hand, obviously noticing that her rings were not where they should be and after what felt like ages, he fixed her with a pointed stare. He looked hurt and he had every right to be.

"You didn't tell your brothers, did you?" She couldn't find the words to make up a lame excuse, he didn't deserve one anyway. Her heart clenched when he shook his head and headed up the stairs. She didn't stop him, simply grabbed the diaper bag from the floor and made her way to the couch. She was an idiot. She should have told him, should have kept the rings on and told her brother that she'd recently gotten married. She could have at least asked Jane if he wanted to meet Jon. She'd been selfish, only thinking of what would be for her benefit.

"Well Jojo, looks like your auntie just screwed up." Apparently the girl decked in pink found it funny, giggling happily and shoving two fingers in her mouth. "I'll give you some advice kiddo, don't be like me. Don't overcomplicate relationships okay?"

A big, mostly toothless grin was her only reply as tiny hands fisted in her shirt. She had no idea why she was giving advice to a six month old baby who definitely wouldn't remember it but it made her feel better to be doing something other than thinking of how she was supposed to make things better with Jane. She didn't know why she was the one to screw things up. She was constantly over complicating things, making them seem more important than they really were and every time, every single time, a step forward was taken in their relationship one of them ruined it.

Fishing her rings out of her pocket, she slid them back into place with a heavy sigh. She'd worry about Jane later, she had to set up a playpen or the little one wouldn't have anywhere to sleep. It was after seven, she knew how this worked. She'd give Jolisa a bottle, make sure she was fed and dry, then put her down.

Searching through the diaper bag, she found a blanket and some toys and hoped they'd keep the baby occupied long enough for her to unpack the the playpen. Spreading the blanket out on the carpet, she laid Jojo on her tummy and set the toys within reach. She watched her for a few seconds, a little skeptical of whether or not she'd stay. It didn't really matter, there wasn't anything she could hurt but Lisbon really didn't want to lose track of her. Satisfied that she was only rocking back and forth on her knees, Lisbon set to work.

It wasn't something that was supposed to take a long time but she wasn't exactly familiar with it. She had to read the directions on the side to figure it out and then she felt even more lost than she'd been to start with. Grumbling quietly, she finally got the thing to stand and was quite pleased with herself.

There was a slamming noise from upstairs, something that sounded like a dresser or perhaps a cabinet. It was followed closely by a curse and Lisbon knew exactly who it was directed at. She was the reason he came stomping back down the stairs with a slightly disgusted look on his face. She ignored him, leaving him in the room with the baby while she went to the kitchen to make a bottle. The motions of preparing it became background movements to her thoughts. Scooping out the powdery formula, she thought of what the morning would bring. Getting the water just right, she thought of how she could clean up the mess she'd made. Shaking the bottle to mix the contents, she realized it'd be best to clear the air.

When she turned back towards the living room, she couldn't help but smile. Jane was holding Jojo, an unguarded happiness present on his features as he let her little hands explore his face. It was a pleasant surprise given his demeanor just moments ago but she liked it. He looked so natural with a little one. It was moments like this that made her wonder about his daughter. She'd always wondered about his family but he never divulged information, nothing big and if it wasn't in the Red John file then she had no clue.

Closing the distance between them, she kept shaking the tweety bird baby bottle in her right hand. Each step brought her closer and tiny ears had already heard the familiar sound of the liquid being swished around. Arms stretched towards her immediately, chubby little fingers wiggling in impatience as she lifted her from Jane's hold. The man in front of her gave her a soft smile, his hand tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She was confused instantly. He'd just been mad at her, hadn't he?

The intensity burning in his eyes reminded her of the morning he'd woke her by undressing her. She couldn't go down that road, not tonight. Not while she was balancing a baby in one arm and holding a bottle dumbly at her side. His fingers traced down her jaw-line, eyes turning sad as he leaned in. She didn't know what was going on but she stepped away before he could do anything else to confuse her even further.

"Teresa..."

"Patrick, I'm busy." Lisbon gently bounced the baby in her arms, wanting to throw something at the man for messing with her mind. She already had a little one to keep out of things, she didn't need to put up with him as well. She still felt terrible for inadvertantly hurting him, which in turn made her cranky but seriously what was his deal? Was he mad or not? "We'll talk in the morning okay? After Jon comes to get Jojo."

"Am I allowed to be out when he's here or would you rather I hide in our closet?"

"That's not funny."

"It wasn't meant to be." His mood was changing faster than she could handle, coming off as more annoyed now where as two seconds ago he'd been trying to kiss her. She should have let him, probably would have if she didn't feel so bad about keeping her marriage from her brothers. It was easy to see that he was thinking she was ashamed and trying to hide it but she wasn't.

Lifting the bottle up to the baby's lips, she watched the facial expressions of the hungry one who sucked greedily at the nipple. Jane brushed by her, seemingly back to being angry and she said nothing to change that. She let him, too caught up in staring at the child in her arms, the green eyes looking back at her and the small hands resting over her fingers. Little hands with little fingers and little nails.

Overwhelmed by the urge to press her lips to the equally small forehead, Lisbon did just that and pulled back with a smile. She pushed the impending fight with Jane out of the way and let herself revel in the warmth that spread through her chest at watching the mini female version of her brother. Lisbon found it funny how much she'd grown since the first time she ever saw her and yet she still seemed so small. Innocent and happy. The way the world should be, the way she wished it was. Of course nothing could be simple, nothing could be easy and she almost felt like she should apologize to her niece for the world she was being raised in.

Jolting when a much larger, more masculine hand covered hers and Jolisa's, Lisbon snapped her gaze away from the beautiful baby and up to see Jane's eyes trained where hers had just been. She didn't need to have his observation skills to know what he wanted. Without a word - fearing they might end up in a full-blown argument - Lisbon passed him the pink clad baby. The bottle followed and after a few awkward seconds, she chose to get some things done - like the shower she'd been putting off since that morning.

Her body felt numb almost, climbing the stairs as though it came second nature, finding the bathroom without thought and stripping down to nothing before turning on the hot water. The spray of the shower pounding against her muscles relaxed her enough to try and rationalize Jane's moody spells. If he was angry she'd prefer him to just be angry. She didn't like back and forth. The lavender scent of the new body wash she'd bought filled the steamy bathroom and eased her mind into forgetting about the current predicament she'd wandered into.

Fifteen minutes, twenty tops, is all it'd taken to emerge fully clean and smelling a heck of a lot better than she had been before going in. She'd forgotten to grab clothes, but it didn't matter. She went straight for the bedroom, towel wrapped around her torso and grabbed the first clean pair of panties she could find as well as one of Jane's shirts. She was starting to think she wore them more than he did.

Quickly dressing, she headed back to the living room but stopped abruptly before she even made it down the first stair. Jane's soothing voice echoed, the words he was saying catching her attention and making her eavesdrop from her place at the top of the stairs.

"...I mean I love her more than anything but will that ever be enough for her? Look at me, I'm asking someone who can't even answer." Lisbon's heart slammed in her chest, he was talking about her and she couldn't help but feel guilty for the uncertainty spilling from his lips. "I married your auntie out of the blue, kinda expected things to be slow and hard in the beginning. She wouldn't be Lisbon if it were easy and I wouldn't be me."

It struck Lisbon as a little odd that he'd referred to her by her last name. It'd been awhile since he'd done something like that, well besides at work. Generally at home she was always Teresa, when he was teasing she was Mrs. Jane - which she'd never admit she secretly loved hearing - and that one time he'd asked if he could call her Reeses. She hadn't been 'Lisbon' in awhile.

With a few deep breaths, she convinced herself to sit down and listen to what he was saying. Maybe it was rude to do so when he had no idea she was listening but her body did as she told it to and perched itself on the top stair. If she craned her neck, she could see him pacing the floor, baby resting her head on his shoulder and dangerously close to falling asleep on him.

"I don't want her to leave me, I'm....worried that she might. We've been doing this almost a month and there's still so much tension. It's a lot better now, trust me. You should have seen us a few days ago...well no you shouldn't have because you're way too young and it was entirely too private."

Covering her mouth, she stifled her laugh at the cute way he interacted with the baby. The man really was something and she made up her mind in that instant that she'd give him the room he needed for the night but she would make it up to him. She'd prove she hadn't meant any harm on their next day off. She wanted the whole day to show him just how much she cared and that she wasn't going anywhere. It sent a pang through her chest when he mentioned being worried about her leaving him. She had no intentions of doing anything of the sort.

"I'm not mad at her, ya know? Just in case you got the wrong impression." It really warmed her heart to hear him chat with her niece as if she were older, able to understand. It was adorable but his words are what had her interest. He wasn't mad? "Kind of disappointed but I'm sure it'll pass. Her taking off the rings doesn't bother me, it's the fact that she didn't talk to me. She didn't tell me that you were coming or that she didn't want your daddy to know we're married. If she'd told me, explained her reasoning and just been honest then I wouldn't have reacted the way I did."

Resisting the urge to give up her hiding spot and run to apologize to him, she remained seated. She was an idiot, why hadn't she talked it out with him? This was Jane, he'd probably understand that she was just afraid of her brothers' reactions to something so sudden. She just hadn't wanted to deal with questions.

"She's an amazing woman. Who else would've agreed to marry me?" She watched from the shadows as he shifted Jojo around to cradle her, a chuckle escaping his lungs before his voice took on a serious note, coming out low and soft. "I miss this. I had a daughter, energetic beautiful little thing..."

Standing immediately upon hearing the word daughter, Lisbon noisely made her way down the stairs so he'd notice her presence. She couldn't let herself invade his privacy like that, couldn't listen to him talk about his family when he hadn't given her the right. When she learned things about them, she wanted it to be him telling her face to face, not her listening in impolitely.

Just as she knew it would, his words stopped once she made it halfway down, his body turning towards her and his eyes trailing down to take in her attire. She felt the fire between them rise just as it did every time they got too close or stared a little too long. He was watching her as she stepped close, and she was crossing her arms over her chest to hide her lack of a bra, although she knew he had already noticed. Clearing her throat in attempts to reign in her emotions, she stopped directly in front of him. They couldn't play games while he was clearly upset, couldn't tease or tempt, it'd be wrong.

"I think I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight." Her voice wasn't as strong as she'd hoped it would be but the words were out nonetheless and Jane didn't look shocked at all. "So I don't have to get the playpen upstairs."

"I can sleep down here with her."

"No, I agreed to watch her. Besides the couch can't be good for your shoulder." Her eyes flickered to the arm that still had traces of bruising. It was fading and according to Jane it only hurt if he moved it too quickly or in a certain direction but she didn't believe him.

"My shoulder's fine." Rolling her eyes out of annoyance at the word 'fine', she shook her head and let it go. She was sleeping on the couch and that was that. He couldn't change her mind. She gently reached for the sleeping baby girl, her attention focused on the electricity that shot straight down to her toes when Jane's arm brushed hers. Even when they were...whatever it was that they were doing - it wasn't fighting - he still had a powerful effect on her.

Settling Jojo in the playpen, Lisbon draped her blanket over her and let her fingers caress the chubby cheek. She felt the heat of Jane's hand on her lower back, it burned through the fabric of the shirt she was wearing and made her all too aware of the fact that she'd be sleeping alone for the first night in what felt like years.

She let her eyes drift to his face, taking in the worry lines and the light scar on his forehead from the fall. Unable to control the bubbling urge to try and fix things, she turned into him, chest brushing his as she quickly touched her lips to his.

"I'm sorry. I panicked and I'm really sorry."

"S'okay." It was clear as day that it wasn't actually okay but she didn't say anything. She'd let it run it's course just like every other mistake they'd made, every other argument.

They watched the gentle rise and fall of the baby's chest for over an hour, retreating to the couch after the first ten minutes. Somehow they'd gone from sitting a few feet apart to lying down pressed against each other. Lisbon wasn't sure how it'd happened or why either of them had let it considering the mix up they'd had. She wasn't going to complain, she liked having her back to his chest, feeling the warmth of his arm draped over her but she didn't like that he was still pretending things were fine when she knew they weren't. She'd heard him tell Jolisa all about his worries, heard him say that he was disappointed which was a code word for hurt. Everyone knew that.

They hadn't spoken, which is probably why a shiver shook her body when his voice sounded in her ear, husky and low.

"What time's your brother coming?"

"Early, five or six." She didn't mention that she was going to keep her rings on, that she was going to tell him and just hope it all goes well. She'd have to do it eventually although she'd hoped she could put it off for a few more weeks at the least. But she was doing this for Jane, for her husband.

"I'm not mad at you." The jump in topics didn't go unnoticed but she didn't care, knawing on her bottom lips as his hand slipped down her thigh. She didn't think much of it, they tended to push the limits a lot but generally not in a situation such as this. "I'm not and you aren't sleeping alone tonight."

His lips pressed to the back of her neck, his hand riding back up her leg, pulling the fabric of her - his - shirt with it. Bunching up the unwanted cloth just below her breasts, he caressed her stomach making her sigh softly and ease into him even further. She wondered what he was thinking, there was a baby in the room but once his digits stilled, she knew he wouldn't try anything more. He was looking for comfort, reassurance that she'd be there in the morning and it struck her as odd that she'd managed to read him easily.

It helped that she'd eavesdropped enough to get the gist of his feelings on the whole mess she'd accidentally provoked. She'd played into his fear of losing her by taking off those rings and it hadn't struck her until his fingers gently pushed into the skin on her belly that he was actually terrified of the thought. When he'd told her his reason for marrying her, she hadn't realized how scared he actually was of the idea. She'd seen that it bothered him and that he was afraid but she hadn't seen how deep the fear ran. Now she knew.

It had her chest tightening for him, her hand moving to rest over his as he let his fingers trace her navel and she made a vow to herself to think the next time she started to panic about something, to at least consider him in the equation. She hadn't said anything to him, hadn't mentioned that she already knew he wasn't mad because she'd heard his conversation with little Jolisa.

"Teresa?"

"Hm?"

"We're either both going to fall asleep on the couch or we can go upstairs." Tossing ideas around in her head for a few seconds, she came up with one she liked well enough and decided the bed was calling her name.

"Upstairs." It took them a few minutes to move but once they did, Lisbon was carrying a sleeping Jojo while Jane attempted to move the playpen. It seemed to shock him when she told him to leave it and that the baby could just sleep in bed with them. It was easier and Lisbon kind of liked the thought of having Jane and a baby in the bed.

It wasn't until they were actually beneath the covers that she wondered if Jane wanted any more kids. They'd never brought it up, they'd never really brought anything like that up. She wasn't sure the topic was even okay to approach. He was sensitive when it came to his family and she thought he might assume she was asking for children, asking him to replace his daughter but she wasn't. She stood by her views of being too old to carry a baby and her job was too dangerous.

Lying in bed, on her side with Jane behind her and her arm wrapped protectively around her snoozing niece, she let herself pretend they were a happy little family. The legs tangled with her own moved slightly, the chest against her back shifting as well and then the face that'd been pressed into her hair was gone. The feel of warm breath on her ear let her know that he wasn't travelling far. He was just propping himself up on one elbow to stare down at her and the other female Lisbon.

"She's a beautiful baby." His words whispered into her ear, making her body flush with heat. She wasn't used to hearing that sexy husky tone that could melt her into a puddle of gooey liquid.

"Yeah, Jonathan's very proud."

"Do you want kids?" Shocked by his sudden question, she almost laughed at the blunt approach. It was Jane. Of course he'd compliment her brother's daughter and then ask something like that, to him it probably seemed as normal as proposing out of nowhere. She could feel his eyes on her, even through the dark she could tell he was awaiting her reply.

The light from the hall provided them with the ability to be able to make out shapes and see things up close, Lisbon took refuge in that by staring down at the round face, the little nose. Her fingers moved of their own accord, tracing the slope of the baby's nose and settling against her lips. He had to ask such things at such odd times but it gave her an excuse to ask him the same.

"I-I'm not exactly thirty anymore Patrick. My time is up. Besides we haven't even made it to the stage where making a baby is possible."

"That's not what I asked." The warm hand on her hip massaged it's way up her side, settling just below her breast. His knuckles brushing along the underside of the sensitive skin. With a ragged sigh, part from feeling breathless at his touch and the other part from being a little annoyed that he clearly wasn't going to just drop it.

"I have a dangerous job, everyday something could go wrong and I could be dead. I don't want to put my kids through growing up without a mother."

"So you've thought about it." It wasn't a question and she didn't need to answer. "Lame excuse though, everyday something could go wrong no matter what your profession is. That would be like soldiers not having children because they go to war."

"I always thought that maybe someday I'd have kids but I think it all depends on the circumstances and mine just aren't the right ones. My job, the out of town cases, long hours and minimum time off plus it's not just me, I have a husband to consider too." A long kiss landed just below her ear, her eyes closing from the sweet pressure.

"I love that you're thinking of me, I love that right now thoughts of how I'd react to more children are running through your head and I love that you're blushing." It irked her that he knew what she was thinking and how her body was responding to him. "Honestly, I never thought I'd have anymore kids. I'm not sure I can handle it and I know that if Red John were still at large there would be no way but he's not."

Her stomach started twisting at the tone of his voice, it was different. She hadn't ever heard anything quite like it and she didn't know if it was a good thing or not. All she knew was that his lips were tickling her neck and that his hand was stroking down her stomach to rest low, close to a certain area between her thighs. He kept it from going too far and she was grateful, there was a baby sleeping next to them after all.

"I think you're right, all about the circumstances. I'm not thirty anymore either. I just want you to know that if it's what you want then I can do it for you, I want you to be happy." Twisting her head around to meet his eyes in the dark, she noted that his features were serious and unmoving. She didn't know when she'd developed an ability to read some of his emotions but she knew this was another way he was trying to anchor her. He was thinking if he kept her happy, all wishes fulfilled then he wouldn't lose her. "There's options out there if you don't want to risk a pregnancy, like adoption."

"Patrick I'm only going to say this once okay? I'm fine with how things are right now. We're just now getting on our feet with this marriage and that's okay. It's rough, we've had some interesting times but we're alright. I don't need a baby to keep me happy. I'm not going anywhere, I love you." Tilting her chin at an uncomfortable angle, she pressed her lips to his for a quick goodnight kiss. She realized what he was trying to do but she didn't need him to. She was fine without kids, though she did tuck away the bit of information about him being okay with adoption. Maybe one day.

"You'll tell me if you change your mind?" Nodding, she wiggled to get comfortable. Burrowing into the blankets, she snuggled her niece tighter to her chest and didn't complain a bit when Jane held her to him, his warmth pressing into her back. The conversation left her with one new mystery she needed to solve. She understood the fear of losing someone, she'd been terrified when he fell - was still cautious when he was out in the field - but Jane's 'fear' was bordering on hysteria.

**a/n: Wow, that was really long. I blame the fact that I wasn't able to update for a few days. **

**Next: _He could feel her pajamas, sweat soaked and sticky against his skin. Her breaths coming out in sharp short pants, eyes scrunching and brow furrowing as a whimper left her lips. Jane tried to pull her closer but she cried out something sounding distinctly like a 'no' while shoving at him. Her eyes never opened, her hair clung to her neck and forehead, her movements becomming more wild and frantic. She was stuck in a nightmare and he had to save her._**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Nada. **

**A/N: I apologize for the length of this one, it's longer than the last and usually if they go over 6000 words then I break them in half but this one didn't really have a point where that was possible so here's a 7000 word chapter. Oops. Yes, these chapters seem to get longer and longer. Grrr.....not my fault Jane and Lisbon decided to get all steamy. Enjoy the update...even if you have to read it in pieces. :D**

**Also forgot to mention last chap, that this is the second part to that one. **

**Warning: M rated bits towards the end. **

It wasn't the sound of the alarm that woke Lisbon, nor the gentle kisses she'd grown used to feeling against her neck when Jane needed her to roll over. It wasn't the sound of Jolisa's cry like the one that had woke her around one o'clock - it was the feel of someone pulling the baby from her arms. She could still feel Jane's heavy arm draped over her stomach, their left hands entwined and resting over Jojo. His chest was still pressing into her back and she could hear his soft snoring in her ear.

On alert once realizing that Jane wasn't the one pushing gently at her arms, she forced her eyes open while tightening her hold on the small body and blinking several times to clear her vision. Doing her best to peer through the darkened room, she saw something she definitely hadn't expected, Jon.

Waking enough to realize that it was her brother leaning over the bed trying to get his daughter, Lisbon felt her stomach flop uncomfortably. Her brother was staring at her, glancing down at her hand linked with Jane's. She could see the questions filtering through his mind as she finally relinquished her hold on Jojo. For some reason, a lump formed in her throat and her eyes stung with tears. She wasn't sure why, she just knew that it was early and this was not how she wanted her brother to find out she was married. She was going to tell him, she'd made up her mind when she'd heard Jane sharing his innermost fears with the baby but this wasn't how she'd wanted to do it.

Jonathan didn't say anything but she knew he'd noticed the wedding rings, there was a flash of hurt across his face. Everything she'd been trying to avoid became unavoidable, everything she'd wanted to save herself and others from feeling had bubbled to the surface.

She watched as he hugged his daughter to his chest, and moved to leave the room. She couldn't let him go without explaining. She couldn't do that after she'd just been talking to Jane about having kids. This was all so real now that it could no longer be hidden. It was easier to keep it a secret from her brothers and people outside her team when things were so messed up between her and Jane but now that they were slowly untangling the web of emotions, she couldn't do it anymore. She should have come clean when he was there the night before to drop off the little one, she should've let him meet the man who was able to convince her to marry.

Gently scooting away and out from under Jane's arm was easier than she'd expected. He was really out and when he started to move, searching for her body, she pushed a pillow in her place. He didn't seem satisfied with it, a little frown tugging at his lips causing a smile to appear on her own. He didn't open his eyes, he wasn't awake but she found it cute that he sort of squeezed the pillow a couple times and then just rolled over, leaving it after his sleeping self realized it wasn't her. A swell of love overtook her body as she quietly stepped away to follow the path her brother had taken. Her marriage wasn't exactly to the point of being something loving and real but they were getting closer. It gave her hope that the day would come when she'd wake up next to him, satisfied and void of all doubts, all questions.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she made it down the stairs just as Jon was packing away the playpen. Jojo was still sleeping soundly, now strapped into her car seat and it took Lisbon a few seconds to find the courage she needed. Nothing ever went according to plan in her life. The situation she'd found herself in surely attested to that fact. With an almost dry whisper, she finally found the words she'd been searching for.

"I was going to tell you."

"S'fine Tess, really you don't have to explain. It's your business." There was an edge to his voice, one that told her he didn't even believe what he was saying and that he was hurt by her keeping it from him.

"Yes I do Jon, please hear me out okay?" Pausing as he dropped the stuff in his hands, she rocked back on her heels and waited until he looked up at her. "I didn't tell you because of the circumstances. It's kind of complicated and I was afraid of what you'd think."

"You're pregnant." Lisbon was startled by his conclusion, taking in a deep breath as he walked over and rested a hand on her cheek. "Why didn't you just say..."

"No, no I'm not pregnant."

"Then what are you talking about?" The part of the conversation she dreaded had just arrived and she closed her eyes to get her head straight before opening them again to tell him the complete and utter truth behind the wedding rings on her finger.

"W-we never dated. We didn't have a relationship at all and then out of the blue he just proposed. It's crazy I know, but I said yes. I thought he was just asking for help." It occurred to her then that she hadn't mentioned who she was married to and the next part wouldn't make any sense. "He's..I, I thought I could make sure he was okay and then break off the engagement but..."

"Wait, 'asking for help'? Who is this guy?"

"Patrick Jane, I think I told you about him before. CBI consultant, family killed by Red John?" Seeing her brother nod was the only confirmation she needed. Unconsciously stepping closer, she grabbed the hand he had yet to take from her cheek and brought it down between them, linking fingers in the process. "I shot Red John, several months ago in a standoff. I thought that by proposing, he was trying to seek comfort or something but he wasn't. We were only engaged three days and eloped on the fourth. I wanted to call everything off but something just wouldn't let me. Things were tense, awkward between us. It's still kinda like that at times but it hasn't even been a month yet."

"I'm guessing this is why you shoved me out the door yesterday?"

"I'm sorry. Things have been hard Jon-Jon, and so messed up. I didn't feel married, I was trying to sort everything out and that's why I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to be ashamed of me for doing this, for marrying a man I'd never dated or anything." Sometime during her speech, her eyes had dropped to watch as he gently squeezed her hand, rubbing his thumb along the back of it. She missed him, missed seeing him and spending time with him.

"Do you love him?" With a light smile, she simply nodded while muttering a soft 'more than he knows'. "Does he love you?"

Another nod and then he was stooping down to her level, forcing her to look him in the eye. She didn't see any shame lingering in his gaze, the hurt was still there but not as strong as it had been, but it was the intensity of his stare that caught her off guard.

"He treat you okay? You said things were hard, he's good to you though right? He doesn't hur...."

"No, he'd never do that. He's amazing, I'm the one who keeps screwing up. I thought he was using me to replace his family. Things are just now getting better, we're finally getting comfortable and then I messed up, he thought you knew we were married. He thought I would at least tell my brothers, it really upset him when he found out that I hadn't. I swear I was going to tell you in a few weeks." Her voice was coming out more frantic than she liked, but she was trying to get everything out at once, trying to prove that she wasn't going to hide it forever.

"Calm down, I think I understand and Teresa," The lump in her throat had yet to go away but she hadn't spilled any tears until her name left his lips and then she couldn't stop them from leaking out. "I can't be ashamed of my big sis, not for this. No one should be ashamed of you when you're in love. I wish you would have told me sooner, I would've knocked louder instead of giving up and using my key."

Wiping her cheek, she smiled and wrapped him in a hug, resting her head against his shoulder. She was the oldest, she was the shortest and it still bugged her but at that moment all she cared about was that she'd worried over something that she should have just opened up about. She'd been terrified that he'd be angry at her but he wasn't.

She stepped back just in time to see him glance over her shoulder, fixing his stare on something behind her. Turning her head, she was greeted with a tired looking, bare chested Jane who was rubbing one eye much like a child would after waking. It had her biting her lip, resisting the urge to drag him back to bed.

"I didn't know...I'll just..."

"Come here." Chuckling at his obvious discomfort, Lisbon extended her hand towards him to usher him closer. It was clear that he was thinking she was still trying to hide her relationship. He apparently hadn't heard the conversation she'd just shared with Jon and judging by the look on his face when he noticed her rings were still in place, he was quite shocked. It wasn't everyday that she managed to surprise Jane. "He knows, I told him everything."

There was a sense of relief that flooded through him as he stepped closer and threaded his fingers through hers. She felt it too.

"Jon this is Patrick, Patrick this is Jonathan." The men shook hands, exchanging a hello as Lisbon leaned into Jane's side. She watched with interest as her brother gave him the once over, sizing him up and squeezing his hand a little too tightly. She didn't say anything, neither did Jane but she gave her brother a look that told him to knock it off when she saw the corner of Jane's mouth twitch.

"Don't hurt her."

"Jon!" Lisbon rolled her eyes at his behavior and remembered exactly why she'd always hated dating. If her little brothers found out, she had to deal with questions, awkward meetings and protectiveness. She was the oldest for crying out loud.

"I won't. Can I have my hand back now?"

"Sorry." Ignoring the men, Lisbon headed over for the car seat, kneeling down to run her fingers through the baby's soft locks. She didn't hear anything else the two men were saying, she focused her attention on the sleeping child and felt her heart clench. She wanted a baby - not at that exact moment but in the future, especially after everything Jane had said before they'd fallen asleep. One day, when things were easier she'd bring the subject up again.

Hand trailing along the chubby cheek, she pressed her lips to the tiny little nose and then straightened back up. She hadn't realized that she'd captured the attention of not only Jane but her brother as well.

"So no little niece or nephew on the way for me to spoil?" Flushing red at the thought, she chose not to mention the fact that she wasn't engaging in any activity that would result in pregnancy. "Soon perhaps?"

Internally groaning at Jon's blunt approach, she shook her head. No not soon. Catching Jane's gaze, she noticed he too had a light dusting of pink covering his cheeks at her brother's words. It was interesting to see, despite her own light embarrassment.

"I better get her home and let you go back to bed." She didn't try to stop him from leaving, bed sounded really good and when he lightly kissed her cheek, she realized she could have saved them all the stress and hurt if she'd just been open and honest from the start. Why did she have to learn things the hard way? He surprised her when he leaned over to Jane, whispering something in his ear that had the blond smiling. She didn't like it, didn't like the fact that they'd known each other five minutes and it seemed as though they were already conspiring.

Feeling her husband wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her tightly into his side, she decided that maybe the grin didn't necessarily mean something sneaky. He did look genuinely happy rather than devious.

"Jon-Jon," Her voice stopped him from walking out the door. "Bring her back to visit us."

Lisbon felt lighter, watching the door close and knowing she wasn't hiding something big, knowing that he'd bring little Jojo back to see them and there weren't any hard feelings. Turning her head into Jane's shoulder, she stepped around to stand in front of him and brought her arms up around his neck. Apparently feeling lighter also made her feel braver.

Soft warm lips landed on her temple, making her hum and push herself closer. When she really thought about it, really really thought it over, it still seemed so strange to be married to Jane but it was becoming less so everyday.

"Let's get you back to bed." She could only grunt in response, words failing her as the fact that she was still tired slowly seeped into her bones. It was only after five, and with their hands linked, she let him lead her up the stairs and back into the bedroom.

Falling onto the mattress, she pulled him along with her which landed them in a heap of tangled limbs and an elbow jabbing her in the ribs. Her head fell against his arm heavily and made him groan but no real damage was caused. Minor bumps that would long be forgotten when they woke. Snuggling down, she draped her leg over his waist and let her eyes flutter closed.

"Patrick," A sudden thought struck. "What did my brother whisper to you?"

"Oh, nothing really. More nonsense about me not hurting you." Lisbon didn't buy it, she knew that wasn't it but she didn't press. She wanted to go back to sleep, she could drill him later. Shifting closer, she let her hand trail up his chest to rest on his shoulder. The bruising was still there, she couldn't see it due to her eyes being shut but she knew the pattern of it by heart and traced the edges easily.

His hands traveled beneath the cloth covering her, resting on her back as his fingers lightly danced down her spine. The touch was soothing, relaxing and had her dozing off just as he decided to strike up a conversation. His voice pulled her back from the bliss of sleep, making her grumble a bit.

"You're not too old." Ignoring the words, she let herself try to drift off again. "You want a baby, it's obvious and you're not too old Teresa. Women have babies at fifty and unless you lied about your age, then you're nowhere near fifty."

"I lied about my age." She couldn't help but tease, it just felt like the thing to do to get out of talking about her fears. She knew she wasn't too old, but she liked to use the excuse as a crutch. Sometimes she even fooled herself, making herself believe that she was pushing it.

"Well then, I married one very attractive cougar." Laughter poured from her lips before she could fight it, spilling into the otherwise silent bedroom. "Seriously though, you're perfect. I'm not talking about right now, we don't need a baby when we're still working everything out but hon, if you want one..."

"Can we drop it, please? Bad enough that Jon thought the reason we married was because I got pregnant." She wanted to sleep, she didn't want to talk about kids anymore. Although her heart definitely noticed the 'hon' he threw into the speech, she was getting a little miffed at him for prodding.

If she were being completely honest with herself, she'd realize her real fear wasn't of getting pregnant or getting hurt on the job. She was using those as masks to cover the real fear, lame excuses that held no merit, same as her mantra of 'I'm too old'. The reason she was terrified happened to involve him. He was what scared her, she was afraid of what would happen.

She was already slightly worried with his constant fretting over possibly losing her, the irrational fear of her just disappearing one day. Though he'd lost one wife so she figured it was kind of normal but to the point of asking your boss to marry you? They needed time, a few years at least maybe more before she'd even begin to entertain the idea of little Janes running around. She just didn't want to talk about it this early, it made her feel as though she were doing something wrong. They hadn't even had sex yet.

With a sigh, she mumbled something akin to 'let me rest or get out' against his skin. Sleep was coming rapidly, pushing away her thoughts when he once again pulled her back to the land of the living. She was seriously verging on throwing him out, it was clear he wouldn't be going back to sleep.

"Grace thinks you're pregnant too. Apparently she saw you emptying your stomach after I fell off that roof, noticed how tired you've looked lately and now assumes we're expecting."

"What? Wait, you told her I wasn't right?"

"Uh, no. I figured you could crush her dreams." If her eyes were open, she would've rolled them but they weren't so she settled for huffing instead. "You didn't tell me you worried yourself sick at the hospital."

"It wasn't important." She didn't wait for his reply, just burrowed into the blankets and let the hand stroking her back lull her. She didn't want to tell him that she'd been so scared of losing him that she'd taken more than just one trip to the bathroom, nor did she mention that she was now dreading a talk with Van Pelt.

She'd been so scared he'd die, so afraid that she'd lost her chance with him even though they'd technically already been married. She hadn't been that scared to lose someone since her father beat Jon half to death, every time she tried to protect her brothers but it wasn't always easy. Sometimes she couldn't, just like she hadn't been able to protect her husband.

In that moment pieces started clicking together in her head. She was just as bad as Jane was. She feared losing him to the point of sounding insane too, she just didn't show it while he did with his touches and soft spoken words. She didn't know why talking about babies had finally pieced the puzzle into place but it had. There was nothing wrong with him, he was human and upon realizing that she lost her excuse. She lost the crutch she'd been using as to why she held off on sleeping with him, why she didn't want to talk about honeymoons or babies and she felt as though her legs had been knocked out from under her. Why hadn't she thought of that before, why'd she always think the worst when it came to him?

The only thing she had left was the fear of him only saying he was okay with a baby to please her, to keep her from leaving. Why did it seem talking about things only made them more complicated?

She felt him squeeze her tighter, shifting to get comfortable and then a sigh left his lips as she faded into the promising darkness of sleep. That sigh told her that he'd probably catch a few more minutes too. She slipped easily into a state where dreams overtook her mind and swept her away to a place that didn't really exist. She'd always been one to dream....

* * *

Groggy, disoriented and in pain, Jane forced his eyes to open. He hadn't thought he'd manage anymore sleep after meeting Lisbon's brother but somehow he'd been comfortable enough. It was safe to say he hadn't slept this well in years and he had Lisbon to thank for making it come easier again. He was still an insomniac, generally catching four hours tops but sometimes he could listen to her breathing and fall into a contented sleep that left him feeling great.

He didn't feel so great at the moment though, he didn't like the way the room was brighter now. His shoulder was spasming and he was damp and cold. One glance with tired eyes and he realized his blanket was gone, Lisbon was...she was jerking against him.

He could feel her pajamas - his shirt - sweat soaked and sticky against his skin. Her breaths coming out in sharp short pants, eyes scrunching and brow furrowing as a whimper left her lips. Jane tried to pull her closer but she cried out something sounding distinctly like a 'no' while shoving at him. Her eyes never opened, her hair clung to her neck and forehead, her movements becoming more wild and frantic. She was stuck in a nightmare and he had to save her.

"Hey, Teresa." Whispering only intensified her whimpers making them slightly louder, on the verge of becoming a yelp. Pain shot through his arm as he moved it to stroke over her brow, feeling as though someone had taken a fire poker and jabbed it into him. "Teresa, wake up. It's a bad dream, just a bad dream."

"...no, stop it..." Shaking her gently, trapping her arms with his own, he maneuvered them into a sitting position. The movement jolted her enough to have her eyes fighting to open, the images of her nightmare were probably starting to fade. "M, please..."

"Wake up, come on, it's okay. Everything is okay." She was shivering, eyes flying open and startled green orbs frantically searching the room as she tried to pull out of his hold.

"Let go...let go."

"Whoa, it's me Teresa. Just me." Her hands pushed on his chest forcefully, her eyes still searching for something. He mumbled a curse when her fist hit his shoulder. He moved his hands, bringing them up to cup her cheeks to force her to look at him and when he finally managed to lock gazes with her, he saw how scared she really was.

"Patrick?" Her voice was small, watery and sounding much like a child's. He didn't say anything just stroked his thumbs across her skin and nodded his head. He didn't need to, she could see that he was himself but he felt like he should just to comfort her in some way. As soon as the recognition showed on her face, she was collapsing into him. Moving to straddle his thighs and pressing her face into his cheek. He could feel her tears, could feel the desperation in the way she clung to him. He had expected her to be more shy about it, to hide from him but instead she was gripping him as if he were her lifeline and he easily wrapped his arms around her in comfort.

"Easy, shhh." Her shoulders shook, she shivered and he continually rubbed her back despite the soaked fabric that obstructed the process. Her fingers dug into his back, causing no real pain just pressure as her breath came out labored and harsh against his cheek. She hiccuped, sniffling in the process and he turned to kiss her softly, hoping that it'd help. It did to a degree, the press of his mouth seemed to help her gain some control. "Tell me what it was about."

Several seconds ticked by, she didn't speak and he didn't push her. She laid her head against his shoulder, breathing coming back to a more normal pace, her hands slowly relaxing.

"You didn't make it. You fell off that roof and there was no saving you. I tried, I tried so hard but I couldn't and then it changed, the scenery switched and I was back in high school, back at home with my brothers. He wouldn't stop, he wouldn't stop." There was a pause as she sniffled and shifted in his lap. "I couldn't save him either, Dad or Jon. It was so strange, everything kept switching back and forth, between now and then. You were dead. I didn't save them."

Jane chose not to say anything about her explanation, chose not to point out how her sentences were thrown together, random, and didn't make much sense. He got the gist of it and the rest didn't matter. He knew exactly why her nightmare had switched between past and present. She considered her brothers as her past, meaning Jon. She considered him to be her present and this morning they'd collided. It might have went rather well but her anxiety towards the initial situation had still lingered and worked it's way into one nasty nightmare. It was quite obvious to him that she had a fear of failing to protect loved ones. She'd failed in her alternate universe, and it apparently worked her up pretty good. He hugged her tighter, ignoring the uncomfortable feel of the shirt clinging to him and the lingering smell of sweat.

"I'm right here."

"I'm afraid of losing you too, Patrick. Every time you piss off the wrong person and pull some stupid stunt, I'm scared that it'll be one too many, or that it'll be the wrong person to mess with."

"Hey, I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"You don't know that." She was right, he didn't but he believed it. He believed he'd be okay and that'd worked for him so far. When another shiver rocked her body, he gently moved her from his lap to settle her back into the pillow.

The sheets were damp with sweat, making it impossible for them to just lie there but he startled her by moving. She grabbed his arm, gripping it almost painfully and he realized something, his wife didn't like being left alone after a nightmare. He found it interesting, wondering what she'd done when there wasn't anyone around. He still tried to walk away and she still held his arm tightly, clearly not getting the hint to follow.

Leaning over the bed, he kissed her forehead and wrapped an arm around her waist, tugging her up. Her skin was cold now, drying and becoming cool to the touch making her step closer to him as he led her out of the room and down the hall. She watched him the entire time, not even paying attention to where she was walking.

She just watched him, scared that this was the dream and he actually was dead. It'd been so strange, so very weird and she could remember parts where she knew she was only having a bad dream and then other parts had seemed so real that she'd forgotten. Another shiver, her body seeming to shake violently as Jane tugged her into the bathroom. She didn't understand what they were doing, didn't know why she was currently in front of the sink but then he clarified some things.

He stepped over the tub, turning on the water and adjusting the temperature as she watched. She didn't know what else to do, her mouth didn't seem to want to protest and her body was already starting to get that pleasant hum that came from low in her belly. She wouldn't let herself get carried away, for all she knew he was simply going to leave as soon as he was done but part of her knew by the look in his eye as he walked back towards her that he wasn't going anywhere. She was grateful, she didn't really want to be alone.

The sound of the shower drown out every other noise, including her breathing when the distance between them closed and he ran his finger along the buttons of the shirt.

"Can I?" She hadn't expected him to ask, the question in his eyes begged to be answered and she just nodded. Her hands twitched at her sides as he set to work on ridding her of the damp fabric. The air that hit her skin as he quickly unfastened each little white round button was warm, made so by the steam bubbling up around them. She felt her fingers jerk against her thigh when he slipped his hands inside the cloth, separating it. His palms brushed against her breasts, smoothing over the peaks and sliding up to her shoulders, making her mouth drop open on a sigh.

She knew he asked as a precaution since she'd pushed him away before, and for some reason that made it all the more endearing. His hands tucked under the collar of the shirt to lift it before sliding down her arms, pushing the cloth completely off of her skin and letting it fall to the floor. She wanted to cover herself even though it was his third time seeing her like that, she still had the urge to hide when he let his eyes rake down her neck, lingering on her chest and then drifting down her torso.

There was something erotic but unnerving about the way he stared, causing her body to tighten just by watching him. She felt heavy, dazed and for once that didn't bother her. She didn't care and when his hand tucked her hair behind her ear, she stepped closer to him. She was braver than their first encounter, letting her own fingers explore a bit. She slid them down his chest, her eyes trained on his face to see if he liked the touch. Judging by the way he bit his lip and let his eyes close, she deducted that he definitely liked it and continued to ghost her way over his stomach.

She could feel his muscles contracting, her own body responding in kind when his hands pushed at the only other piece of clothing she had on. He groaned softly when her fingers brushed along the waistband of his pajama pants, dipping beneath the cotton. She could see his reaction to her touch, see the effect she was having on him and she felt bad for doing something like that to him when she knew they weren't going to be having sex in the shower. That's not what he had brought her in there for and that's not what she wanted.

She was picky, she didn't want them to go at it in the shower before they ever got to enjoy the bed. She felt it would cheapen the experience in some way, take away from the 'first time' aspect that she was looking forward to.

"C'mon Mrs. Jane, let's get you warmed up." His words startled her back to reality, tearing her gaze away from the prominent tent that was forming just below where her fingers rested. Her lips were parted, her eyes half lidded and she wasn't sure she'd heard him right. She was already feeling warmer.

Her hips involuntarily jerked towards him as he pushed her panties to the floor. His hand skimming along very intimate flesh caused the reaction and immediately she mumbled a quick apology. She felt stupid for it as soon as it left her lips but he just offered her a soft smile in return. She didn't know why she'd felt the need to say she was sorry for her body's reaction to his stimulation, it was normal. For the third time in front of him, she was bare of everything and for some reason she was more aroused now than during the previous encounters. She wondered briefly if it had to do with the nightmare but quickly pushed the thought away.

The heat pooling between her thighs, had her in a lust filled daze. She didn't feel cold anymore, the steam spilling into the room and the fire burning between them was enough to have her feeling as if she were in a sauna. Her throat felt dry, her tongue reminding her of cotton as the man in front of her grasped her elbows and led her to the side of the bathtub.

The light mist hit her skin, hot and refreshing before she even made a move to step under the spray. Warm hands were caressing up her arm, ghosting back down to grasp her fingers and help her step under the water. She would've commented, said something about being able to do it on her own but with her legs feeling weakened and her body flooding with desire, she wasn't so sure that she didn't need his help.

It might have been because of the nightmare, it might have been because of something else, but for some reason as soon as she stepped under the pounding spray, her eyes searched for him. She didn't know if he was planning to leave or if he was going to stay. She didn't know if he'd join her or not, she'd never seen him without clothes on. The thought was thrilling, making her pulse accelerate and when she caught his gaze it really sky rocketed.

He was hooking his thumbs under the waistband of his pants, tugging them down and revealing bare skin as his underwear went with them. Her breath hitched in her throat, nerves going numb as the water continued to cascade down her back. She wasn't trying to seem overly enthralled but she couldn't tear her eyes away and when the material was no longer covering him she bit back a moan. He had every intention of joining her and she wasn't sure she could handle having him so close, so naked and so aroused.

It was when he slipped his ring off to set it safely on top of the towel that she realized hers were next to it and she didn't remember taking them off. She didn't take them off. She didn't know why her mind was focusing on something so small when he was stepping into the shower with her and closing the curtain. They were left alone, wet and naked in a small space and the aching between her legs intensified ten fold drawing a desperate whimper from her lips. She could feel the tightening in her belly worsen as he reached over her shoulder for something, his slickened skin brushing along hers.

Her heart was pounding. She could feel it, hear the rush of it in her ears, drowning out the sounds of the shower. His body was close, his chest sliding against her sensitive, straining nipples, sending pleasurable jolts pulsing through her.

"Are you nervous Teresa?" She wanted to say no, but she was. Despite the blood boiling hunger, she was quite nervous. This was a whole new level of their marriage and it was going to take a few moments to get used to it. She tried to shake her head but only managed a very small movement from side to side, barely noticeable. She was doing her best to lie but she felt so heavy with him pressing into her, skin to skin. "I am."

He didn't look it, he looked fine but upon closer inspection, she noticed there was a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. It calmed her down, let her believe that she didn't need to be so jumpy because she wasn't the only one feeling the twisting of a nervous stomach. It made her feel a little better to know that things like this affected him too. Wrapping her hand around his arm, she backed up to stand directly under the steaming water and pulled him with her, their bodies never losing contact. She felt his excitement pressing into her belly, leaving no doubt in her mind that he was just as, if not more, turned on as she was.

She felt the hot liquid soak her hair, running down her face and chest as she fought against the droplets to keep her eyes open. She wanted to see him, wanted to see what he looked like with water trailing over his body, snaking it's way down to the drain.

She couldn't resist, the woman in her was curious and longing for him but she couldn't do it just yet, she couldn't have sex with him. She was selfish, they had work soon and as cheesy as it sounded she'd already picked a day to take their relationship forward. All she had to do was hold out until then, it was just three days. Surely she could make it. She wanted to surprise him on their one month mark, married a whole month which was a feat for them. She had plans for him.

When a soft kiss landed on her lips she was pulled back into the heat of the moment. The taste of water mixed with the taste of Jane making for an intoxicating experience. She wasn't so sure she'd make it those three more days. The badge and gun lying on her table were the furthest things from her mind when he broke the kiss, spun her around and pulled her back against his chest. She could feel him hot and hard against her water coated skin, a soft moan breaking through her lips at the sensation. The coil in her core tightened as she closed her eyes to enjoy the feel of him. If someone had told her a month ago that she'd be standing naked in her shower, Jane's hands caressing up her sides and married to the man, she would've had them committed but having him around was just normal to her now.

Having him in the shower was new, her chest was heaving with ragged breaths just to prove that point but she wasn't going to complain. A gasp filled the air, breaking through the sound of the water pelting against the base of the tub as soap slick fingers gently squeezed her breast. A foamy bath sponge followed closely, washing over the area in soft circles. She couldn't recall him grabbing the purple sponge or lathering it in body wash but she didn't exactly care. The feel of his fingers kneading one breast while the other received the same treatment from a soapy companion had her hips shifting ever so slightly, trying to relieve the pressure. All she accomplished was making herself more aware of how hyper aware their skin had become to touch. Another gentle squeeze from his hand on her chest, softly pinching and pulling a rather loud moan from her lungs, had her letting her head fall back against his shoulder.

She probably would have been embarrassed by the reaction if it wasn't for the way she tilted her face to look up at him, his wet curls and soft eyes. Unable to resist she pushed up on her tip toes - back sliding easily against his chest - and caught his mouth in a heated embrace. She didn't have it in her to start soft and neither of them complained. Tongues dueled as his hands stilled for the moment, lips moving in sweet friction at a slightly uncomfortable and awkward angle. She'd thought her nightmare was real, she'd thought he was dead, she'd thought she'd lost him but she hadn't. He was with her, he was kissing her and she was using it as proof. It might have explained the desperation in which her fingers clung to his thighs.

Lisbon knew she had to stop or she wouldn't wait, she'd pull him out of the shower and drag him back to bed soaking wet if she had to. She slowed it down, turning it from boiling to a light simmer. More affectionate and apologetic. She was terribly sorry for getting him so worked up.

His hands went back to their duty of pleasing and cleaning as their mouths broke apart, eyes opening to lock in an intense stare. His eyes were so dark, filled with longing for more.

"This okay?" His voice was husky and strained but still clear. She didn't know how he could form words at a time like this, she envied that trait while nodding to let him know he wasn't doing anything wrong. Being able to see his hands working over her skin, leaving a soapy trail with the sponge only to be washed away seconds later had a calming effect while leaving her aching for more. It eased her troubled mind, slowly diminishing the images from her nightmare while replacing them with images of him actually washing over her stomach and down the front of her thighs.

Her legs parted of their own accord, letting him dip his hand between. She was sensitive to the touch, her eyes rolling back in her head as he groaned low in his chest. They were teetering on the edge, treading dangerous waters and neither seemed to care. She couldn't help but wonder what it'd feel like without the bath sponge, how it'd feel to be touched so intimately by him. All too soon, he trailed back up to work over her arms, under them and taking extra care to caress her hands. The adoration she felt for him mixed with the thirst and she couldn't stop herself from pressing back into him, her hips having a mind of their own.

She felt sorry for him the second he let out a pitiful sound and took a step back. He wasn't trying to get away from her, he was just too worked up and he wanted to finish what he'd set out to do which was to help her. Sponge in hand, he glided it over her back, watching her muscles contract and relax under the touch. She was beautiful, her skin frictionless and the delicious little noises she kept making were driving him insane. He didn't want to push her but he really hoped she relinquished soon, he wanted to take her to bed. He was craving her, wanting nothing more than to spin her around, pin her to the wall and do wonderful things to her body but he held himself back.

He tried to focus on anything but how pliable her breasts felt beneath his hands, how satiny her skin was even when dry despite some scars spattering about. He made himself think of the water but then that led him right back to what he was doing, washing her naked form. She must have taken pity on him, reaching for the sponge to work it down her legs and around her feet as he opened her shampoo bottle and asked her to lean back. His initial priority had been to lovingly help her get warm and clean after seeing her so broken up over her nightmare. He wasn't sure what the hell happened to that plan but he desperately tried to get himself under control.

Lathering the shampoo into her dark locks, he heard her sigh and had to fight with himself. He wouldn't do anything, he was waiting, she wasn't ready. Forcing the desire coursing through him to die down, he massaged her scalp while staring down at his 'friend'. It wasn't going away, she was too close, too wet and too naked for him to be able to calm down. He quickly gave up, deciding it'd be best if he got her out of the shower within the next three minutes.

Rinsing his hands under the spray, he was silently grateful that she was a simple woman who bought the shampoo with conditioner mixed in. He wasn't sure he could handle much more. He didn't think it could get much worse than straining in need but when she turned towards him to rinse out the back of her hair, he realized that it could.

She was giving him a clear view of her front, arms stretched over her head causing her breasts to stick out further - practically begging him to come closer. He closed his eyes, he couldn't watch the water cascading over her skin, leaving little suds in random places or he'd snap. It'd been so long since he'd done something like this, too long and he couldn't take anymore. He'd thought he could do this for her, but he couldn't.

"Patrick, are you okay?"

"Are you done?" He didn't mean to sound rude but he needed the shower to himself. He needed to switch off the hot water and drench himself in ice cold. Oh how he dreaded it. He needed her to step out. Opening one eye, he knew he looked ridiculous standing there naked, hard and fists clenched at his sides. He couldn't remember why he'd thought this would be a good idea. Her sparkling eyes stared curiously at him, raking over his body and landing on a certain part of his anatomy. He caught the way her eyes slightly widened each time she found herself staring, caught the flush in her cheeks. She ran her hands through her soaked hair a few more times and then nodded. "I uh, I need a minute to..."

She understood as soon as he shifted uncomfortably trying to relieve his pent up problem, though he grew worried when she stepped towards him instead of away. A soft kiss was placed on his lips, barely there, showing her appreciation as well as her own arousal and frustration with not quite being able to take it further. Something held her back, he didn't know what it was but he was starting to think he'd combust before figuring it out.

"Thank you Patrick, I'm sorry about..." Her eyes shot downward between them as her words trailed off. "I'll make breakfast."

He managed a garbled reply at her awkward statement as she exited the shower. He would have teased but he found her cute and endearing. He told himself that he'd accomplished his mission. He'd wanted to make her forget her nightmare, to warm her up and he'd managed. He'd just created a huge discomfort for himself in the process. Whimpering at the thought of what he was about to do, he wrapped his hand around the hot water handle and twisted. The woman would be the death of him.

**Next up: _She was pissed, she was sexually frustrated and she was more than a little irate that she hadn't had any coffee yet. It was not her day, she was not happy and Jane was doing his best to cheer her up but it wasn't going to work. She'd had big plans for them, she'd thought of breaking out their pillows for another pallet in the living room and possibly a movie to relax a few hours before giving in to the tension buzzing between them but no. Now she was stuck in a motel room on her one month anniversary. _**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I think this story proves I don't own anything. **

**A/N: Another update of this one and then I'm forcing myself to leave it alone until I get a new one up for Temptation. I left that story with a horrible cliffhanger that needs to be resolved. So yeah, fixing to tie myself down and get it done. :D Till then, enjoy this. I thought this was going to be a simple story, one that would only last a few chapters....pssh. I really need to stop thinking things like that. I think it makes them grow to proportions bigger than I ever imagined. Yep, this one shall continue on for who knows how long. Meh.**

One whole month of being married to Patrick Jane. Never in her wildest dreams had Lisbon thought she'd ever hear herself say or think such a thing. It was strange to reminisce back over the last thirty days. They'd been tense, awkward, hot and all of the above rolled into one. It was a time that she'd thought they would celebrate, just because they'd made it. Their celebration wasn't going to be happening on this night though. A case interfered, pulling them out of town just twenty-four hours previous.

She'd known they wouldn't make it home in time to fully appreciate their accomplishment and she also knew that maybe it was a little odd to be so upset about not being able to celebrate a one month mark but they'd come so far. To her, it felt like they deserved some kind of award and she'd had everything worked out. Needless to say she wasn't a happy camper. She hadn't been since the moment they got the call.

She was pissed, she was sexually frustrated and she was more than a little irate that she hadn't had any coffee yet. It was not her day, she was not happy and Jane was doing his best to cheer her up but it wasn't going to work. She'd had big plans for them, she'd thought of breaking out their pillows for another pallet in the living room and possibly a movie to relax a few hours before giving in to the tension buzzing between them but no. Now she was stuck in a motel room on her one month anniversary. Her mood was also the result of hormones and cramping. A headache added to the mix as well.

There was nothing to do in the small town, no way for them to have any fun whatsoever. That was why she found herself waiting for the coffee to brew at eight in the evening. Jane had disappeared roughly around two, swiping Cho's car and she hadn't been able to get ahold of him by way of cell phone since. Nothing besides one little text from him about an hour ago asking if she needed anything. Just to be spiteful and also because she actually did need them, she told him to get her some tampons. He didn't reply to that.

That didn't brighten her mood any, though she supposed it could be her fault for being horribly snippy with him. He'd been doing his best to put a smile on her face and she'd ignored the attempts. The only smile she'd given was the one that had been buried in his chest when they woke. He'd whispered a good morning, peppering kisses along her jaw and she'd dropped her face to his chest to hide how much she absolutely loved when he did stuff like that.

He hadn't mentioned that they'd been together a whole month but she knew he'd been keeping track, just as she had. It led her to believe he had something planned despite being stuck in the middle of nowhere. She'd wanted so badly to have a relaxing evening at home, to give in to the sexual ache they'd been suffering from. She was ready and she'd planned to show him that but not now. Not while her monthly friend had decided to visit.

Her body hated her, that had to be it. Even if she'd been one of those women that didn't care about being on her period, she still wouldn't have slept with him in a dingy motel such as the one they were stuck in. The small town didn't give them much of an option.

The only good thing that had happened so far would be that she was sharing a room with her husband. She didn't have to be alone in such a place but they'd been cautious around each other since the whole shower deal. They hadn't done anything like that since - it'd been too dangerous. They'd been back to walking on egg-shells but it was for different reasons this time. It wasn't because of fearing an emotional blowout but rather a physical one.

They'd stayed away from the bathroom if the other was inside and avoided the topic of kids. She was grateful for that, although still dreadfully curious as to what her brother had whispered to Jane. He still hadn't told her. The secrecy either meant it was nothing or it was something. Perhaps it shouldn't bug her quite this much but she couldn't help it.

She was alone in a small motel room waiting for the small pot of coffee to finish brewing - what else was she to do? It irked her that she was alone, sure she'd been in a bad mood all day but she still wanted him around. She still wanted to celebrate as best they could. She'd even bought a deck of cards in hopes that they could at least have a little fun.

Pulling the plastic from the deck of fifty-two, she laughed bitterly. Just her luck to be stuck playing solitaire while alone and wondering where the heck Jane had run off to. She didn't get worked up over the fact that he'd been absent most of the day, she was a little worried that he wasn't answering his cell phone but she'd been reassuring herself that he was okay. He'd text her once.

There was a sinking sensation in her chest but she ignored it. She was not going to let something so small bother her. So he was gone and they'd been married a month, big deal. She was sure he'd be back before morning and knew that she wouldn't pick a fight over something as dumb as this. They were working, technically their little anniversary was put on hold. She didn't know why this day meant quite so much to her, maybe because she never thought it'd come this far. She'd thought it would end way before this point. Still, she would not get upset.

The cards she'd laid out in front of her on the bed didn't seem so interesting. She was bored, she'd went over the case file twenty times already, they'd tracked down every lead they could and there was simply nothing left to do. She'd been waiting for this day for a reason and really it didn't have anything to do with the month mark.

No, it was because it'd be a night they could spend exploring each other on a more intimate level and not have to worry about getting up for work the next day. That was why she'd been wanting to wait, she wanted a whole day with him but a case had boggled her plans and she was wishing she would've just let him have her a few days ago in the shower. So much for her trying to be romantic about it. Maybe romance just wasn't their thing.

Ignoring the cards staring at her, she grabbed her travel mug and headed for the dark liquid calling her name. She was amazed the small place had a mini fridge and coffee maker but it did and she was thankful. She loved the sound of the coffee filling her cup as she poured it, the steam rising and the way it sloshed around. Though the smell had to be her favorite. It was probably weird to find something such as pouring coffee comforting but she did.

With a small sad smile she headed back to the lonely double bed and her game of solitaire. Coffee in hand, she carefully situated herself on the mattress, balancing the steaming while cautiously easing down on her stomach at the foot of the bed. She kept hold of her mug, not wanting to spill the contents on what appeared to be clean bedding. She had to sleep on it - it'd be horribly uncomfortable if there was a giant wet spot right where her feet were going to be.

Sipping at the hot liquid, she let her eyes dart towards the door when she heard feet shuffling on the other side. The sound of a key sliding in the lock and then the turning of the knob had her feeling happier than she had been two seconds ago and when it actually opened to reveal Jane, she scrunched her brow in confusion.

He was carrying two grocery bags, offering her a big smile and kicking the door shut. She couldn't see what was in them but she could watch as he set them down on the small table by the window. His back was towards her, blocking the view of what he was pulling out. She was in the process of getting up when his voice stopped her.

"Don't move Reeses."

"Oh god, not that again. I thought we agreed that was a no-no." It took her only seconds to choose whether or not she'd listen. She didn't feel like it after a day of being annoyed and pissed.

"Uh, nope. You told me not to call you that. We didn't agree and no-no? Really?"

"Hush." Moving from the bed, she joined him at the table and let her mouth open slightly as she saw what all he had. "What's all this?"

"This? Oh just a little something to make up for being stuck here when I know you had big plans for us tonight." Lisbon's cheeks reddened at his words and suggestive eyebrow waggling. Slapping him on the chest none too lightly, she reached for the bottle of wine with a frown still playing at her lips.

She didn't say anything when he plucked it from her hands, she just moved on to the next item; candles. He'd been busy. Strawberries, candles, wine, and Reese's peanut butter cups. Rolling her eyes at the last one, she plucked them from the table and headed back to the bed. She still wasn't so keen on spending her time in a motel instead of being in her own bed.

"Hey, put those back! You're not allowed to have any of this until you go get ready for bed. Well besides these." He outstretched his hand revealing the box of tampons she'd asked for. Her cheeks tinted pink, she hadn't thought he'd actually buy them.

"What?"

"You heard me." The smile on his face made her want to tackle him even more but with an aggravated sigh she just dropped the bag of candy on the bed, took the box from his hand and headed for the bathroom. Stupid man and his stupid ideas. She'd play along though. Trudging into the small space she grabbed her stuff while muttering soft curses.

After stripping out of her daily work attire, she slipped into a pair of black, baggy, pajama pants, a plain green shirt and kept her socks on. She didn't like the floor in the room. Washing her face to get the last remnants of make up off her skin, she wondered what exactly he had planned. The thoughts continued after she set down the rag, her face cooling and slowly drying as she brushed her teeth.

She wasn't paying much attention to the task, more concerned with what the man on the other side of the door was thinking. She wished she could read his mind sometimes - just to know what he was really thinking when they woke up together, shared a kiss, stuff like that. She hadn't managed to shake her insecurities just yet. She wasn't sure she'd ever completely get over them but she was trying, for him. Trying to prove that she could be his wife in every way that he needed.

She loved him so easily, it came second nature. She didn't have to force it, she didn't have to force herself when they kissed or when they managed to get themselves a little too worked up. It was all so easy and yet so very hard for her brain to figure out. She wasn't second guessing them, she was trying to figure them out. Her mind was trying to piece together evidence as to why they were with each other instead of someone else, why they had been so drawn to each other from the moment they met - bantering and butting heads in a way that had at times reminded her of preschoolers.

They still bantered, still butted heads. It's just who they were and that's what she'd been trying to figure out for more than just the month they'd spent as husband and wife. Rinsing her mouth out with water, she cleaned off the toothbrush and turned to open the door. Gathering her clothes from the floor, she stepped out and tossed them into the bag sitting right next to the bathroom.

She faintly noticed that it was a lot darker than when she'd went in and when she raised her head, she realized why. He'd turned the lights off and had four candles placed around the room. Two on the table and two on the nightstand. That wasn't all he'd done - the wine was open and waiting next to the candles by the bed, the candy she'd been so set on eating was situated in the middle of the pillows next to the strawberries. She frowned upon seeing the bed.

It had been red and in the dim light it looked more blue. She couldn't really make it out until she moved closer and then she could tell it was definitely blue and it was definitely the same comforter they'd used in her living room as a pallet. She let her fingers brush against the soft fabric covering the itchy motel blanket she'd had to use the night before.

An arm wrapped around her waist, tugging her back against a warm solid form. A deep breath left her lungs, the tension in her shoulders going with it as tender fingers brushed her hair to side and lips pressed to her neck.

"You know, I'm no expert or anything but I don't think we're supposed to burn candles here."

"Meh, I won't tell if you don't." The playfulness in his voice relaxed her, made her forget the frustrations of the day while simultaneously sparking up a different problem.

"You went home to get this didn't you?" She tugged a bit on the blue bedding to clarify. "That's where you've been."

"Mhm."

"Why?"

"So you'd be more comfortable and relaxed tonight." A shiver ran down her spine when his breath ghosted by her ear. He shuffled forward, pushing her along in front of him and making her knees hit the mattress. He kept pressing until she gave in and crawled onto the bed, her head resting against the lumps that were supposed to be pillows. Jane had draped the blanket over those as well and he was right, this did make her a little more comfortable.

She watched his pajama clad form slide in beside her - the flicker of the candle highlighting his face. She'd give him props for trying. It was a little on the cheesy side but she figured he already knew that and simply didn't care. She wouldn't complain, she'd enjoy his attempts at cheering her up, however sickeningly romantic they were. She had to admit, she did love that he brought their pallet.

He dropped easily at her side and propped himself up on one elbow. She watched, moving her hair out of the way and linking her fingers over her lower stomach - the warmth of her hands easing the uncomfortable tightening.

The candles, the wine - it was generally something that led to something more intimate. The setting was one out of a horrible romance novel and yet she didn't mind. Well maybe it wasn't considering their location, generally those books tended to revolve around over the top scenarios that while sweet, were just unlikely.

They simply stared for a few moments, taking in the lighting and the mood before either of them made a move. Jane was the first, reaching up to brush her bangs out of her eyes, smoothing his palm over her hair to tame it a bit. She wondered what he saw when he was looking at her, wondered what he thought when she was in pajamas that were too big and had no makeup on. There was always adoration shining in his gaze, she assumed hers showed the same.

She let her fingers mindlessly press and knead at the cramps keeping her from fully relaxing. If Jane noticed, he didn't say anything. She kept her eyes glued to him the entire time, only letting them drift to follow his hand as it left her hair and went to the unopened bag of peanut butter cups.

His curls seemed framed almost by the flame burning, his face unmarred by a smile, lips set in concentration instead. She didn't really like when he stared at her with such a pensive expression. It worried her but the fingers pulling apart the plastic housing the chocolate kept her from worrying too much. She could smell the sweet mixture of peanut butter and chocolaty goodness as soon as he had them opened. She'd been wanting chocolate all day.

"A Reese's for my Reeses."

"You're horrible and that was terribly corny, just give me the damn thing." Swiping it from his hands, she carefully unwrapped the treat and took a bite. A moan slipped out as she chewed, the flavors melting together on her tongue and making everything else seem unimportant.

"We're still here." Brow furrowing in confusion, lips puckering slightly, Lisbon waited for him to explain. With a chuckle, his finger pressed against her lips, smoothing along the bottom one and making her facial muscles relax again as she swallowed. "Still married my dear."

"You didn't expect us to be?"

"To be brutally honest, no. I didn't." For some reason that bothered her a little, creating an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach which only added to her reasons to suddenly draw her knees up. "Did you?"

"Not really, but I was still denying the whole thing entirely until just a couple weeks ago." Him injuring himself had changed things, made her open up a bit more. Things still hadn't been discussed, a lot of things but none of it mattered at that moment. Rolling on her side to mimic his position, she stuck the rest of her peanut butter cup in her mouth and silently motioned for the bottle of wine atop the nightstand.

Curling her knees up between them, she grasped the bottle as he passed it to her and then brought it up to her lips. Maybe this wasn't the way she planned things but it wasn't the worst way they could've spent the evening.

"You okay, Reeses?"

"Stop calling me that, it's dumb."

"Hey, I bought your....womanly things, I should be allowed to call you whatever I want." She almost choked on the liquid easing down her throat when the words 'womanly things' left his lips after a little pause. It conjured up images of him buying them. It was awfully amusing, though she figured it wasn't the first time he'd had to do something like that. He'd been married before.

"No you shouldn't, but thank you." A soft peck on the lips was his reward, her arm stretching over him to place the bottle back on the hard surface next to them and then she was tangling her fingers in his curls. "Seriously though Patrick, I mean Reeses?"

"Yes, it fits. TeRESa, see it just works. You didn't answer me by the way. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, m'fine but you won't be if you don't stop calling me..."

"Okay okay. I'll stop." The triumph was entirely too easy but she didn't comment, simply quirked her eyebrow and stared curiously at him as he grinned. There was a catch, she could see it in his eyes but he didn't say anything more on the subject. He simply let his smile morph into a concerned frown, his fingers moving to her temple and massaging lightly. She loved it when he did that. "You have a headache?"

"A bit of one." It wasn't that bad, just a light throb in the back of her skull. Only enough to be annoyingly uncomfortable unlike her lower half which seemed to thrive on making her feel as though she were being gutted.

Jane moved the bag of candy from in between them to rest it behind her. She missed the feel of his thumb massaging her temple immediately but before she could complain, he'd opened the strawberries and left them just above her knees. Moving closer to him, she let her shins rest against his stomach and pulled her legs higher to her chest. She felt as though if she could fold herself in half then it'd ease the spasming.

His hand drifted into her hair, smoothing around to the back of her head. His fingers pressed and rubbed against the area, causing her eyes to flutter closed as her hand dipped into the container with the succulent red fruit. She didn't ask how he knew exactly where her head was aching, she didn't care. Bringing a strawberry up to her mouth, she gently bit into it and hummed in content. His hand stilled for a second and then continued on as it had been.

She moved to take another bite, getting the dripping snack between her lips just to have the warmth of Jane's hand leave her scalp and grip her wrist. She didn't have time to think much less get her eyes to open before he was pulling her hand back and swiping the strawberry with his mouth. Lips brushing against hers as he bit into the fruit, stealing it from her easily and letting himself enjoy the whimper she let out.

Lisbon shifted against him, mouth opening to nip his bottom lip in retaliation. He just chuckled huskily, pulling away to chew the food he'd stolen from her as she let her face form a pout. Reaching for another as he let go of her wrist, she watched him closely to make sure he wouldn't try anything sneaky though she couldn't say she hadn't enjoyed the way he'd taken it from her.

His hand landed on her knee - which happened to be pulled tightly to her torso - applying pressure to get her to stretch out her legs. She didn't want to, the cramps didn't seem as bad if she kept her knees to her chest.

"Teresa, I know something that helps, I used to do it for my wife." Sucking the last of the strawberry into her mouth, she almost choked. His words stung a bit, though she knew he hadn't meant for them to. She let him do whatever with her legs, her eyes watering a bit as he straightened one and hitched the other over his waist to press into her. He was so set on the task that he didn't notice the way she was avoiding his gaze.

He moved the fruit to the nightstand, bringing his chest to hers, letting his head hit the pillow as he used both arms to pull her close. She let him, though she felt that it was wrong somehow. This was something he used to do with his wife. Wife - the word that stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Patrick..." It came out as a whisper against his cheek, his hips pushing against hers. "I-I'm your wife."

The cramps were easing, his body heat seeping through their pajamas and into her skin. Paired with the pressure he was applying, it was working.

"What?"

"I'm your wife."

"I know." As much as she wanted to be reassured by his statement she wasn't really. She wasn't trying to make him say that his first wife was no longer his wife. She was trying to get him to possibly start using the woman's name instead of the title. Call her crazy but hearing him say the word wife while not referring to her, made her feel as though she'd taken him away or that she didn't mean as much to him.

Any other time she'd let her body react to such an intimate position but not while a whole mess of uncomfortable thoughts stormed her brain. She'd been enjoying herself just seconds ago and then he'd spoke. She knew he hadn't meant any harm, knew he still wasn't sure what she was talking about but there was still a stinging in her chest.

"This helping any?" There was no way she could answer verbally without spilling her feelings and she didn't want to ruin everything he'd set up so she simply nodded against him. "Just relax."

Lisbon almost scoffed at the suggestion. That wasn't possible at this point but she tried. Sinking further into him and moving her face to his neck. Maybe if she just thought of his scent, the way he felt pressed into her then she could forget her hurt feelings and the stupidity she felt for having them. As long as she didn't manage to get herself hot and bothered at the same time. That's all she needed.

"I know you wanted tonight to be spent a little differently than this, you wanted to make love," It was weird to hear the words falling from his lips, her breath hitching in her throat as he worked his hands under her shirt to rest on her back. "but it's okay. We have time."

Shifting further into him elicited a soft gasp from his lips, his hands gripping into her skin causing her to freeze. She'd made a wrong move. It took several seconds for his fingers to relax, his breathing to return to normal and she stayed as still as possible as he exhaled deeply and pressed a kiss to her head.

"Just so you're not disappointed, I feel that I should say: don't expect much when we do reach that point. It's been awhile Teresa, I'm not promising the longest experience." Her chest seized at the honest vulnerability in his voice. He was embarrassed, she could tell and just to prove herself right, she leaned back to look at his face.

Sure enough, his cheeks were flushed but barely showing in the dim flickering glow. It was mainly his eyes that gave it away. Seeing him so open pushed her petty issues with the word wife out of the way. It didn't matter anymore, though the sting was still there. She thought she'd be embarrassed as well, talking about such a thing but she wasn't. The warm feeling spreading through her was due to the soft worried look in his eyes. He was afraid he wouldn't live up to her expectations - she'd never seen him look so unsure of himself before.

"That's not what matters to me." She was telling him the truth, it really didn't. Her goal - when they finally ended up bare of clothing and straining against each other - was actually to focus more on his pleasure than her own anyway. As tortured as the poor man had been in the shower just days ago, she figured that he deserved it. "I don't care about that."

She brushed her nose against his and came to the conclusion that this didn't suck as badly as she'd originally thought. So they weren't at home, weren't enjoying each other in a sensual way but more things were being confronted, brought to the surface and that would hopefully help in the long run. She knew that eventually she'd need to share her insecurity over the two wives thing but she squashed it for the night by pressing her lips to his.

Another day, she had a husband to celebrate with and there were still snacks and wine to be consumed. The night was young, they weren't tired and there was nothing better to do.

**a/n: I'm pretty much falling asleep at my computer right now. Bleh, so forgive any mistakes, I'll reread it later and fix the ones that I find. Feel free to kindly point them out. Also, updated Dissolve the other day for those of you who didn't get an alert or review reply. Fanfic has been very iffy lately. So yeah, there's a new chapter of that one.**

**Next: _"S'okay, don't stop." Her words encouraged him, letting him know that he wasn't doing anything wrong and that she wanted him to continue. She wanted him to feel good too._**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: See all previous chapters.**

**A/N: As much as I love this story, I wish it would stop pestering my mind for updates when I really should work on the new chapter for Dissolve since my computer ate the last one I typed. Really you think it'd give me a break seeing as I really want to concentrate on something else since it's a sequel and Melt was my baby. I have such big plans for it. But no, of course not, I have to keep updating this one and dragging out all the slow chapters for Dissolve instead of the juicy ones that are just waiting to be added. Boo. Um yeah sorry for the rant. I'm getting frustrated with myself.**

**Warning: M rated for the middle of the beginning. The whole thing is pretty steamy but it had to be done.**

It was a rare occurrence but occasionally it happened and this morning was one of those occasions. With the sun just beginning to peak it's way over the horizon, Lisbon stirred from her much needed sleep. Mumbling tiredly as the orange glow bathed her bedroom, she opened her eyes slowly and searched for warmth. She felt cold, shivering a little and realizing that must have been what woke her. Letting her gaze wander over the bed, she caught site of her blankets kicked carelessly to the bottom and groaned. She didn't want to move. Jane was the only thing warm and he had her pulled back against his chest - if she moved, he wouldn't let her go back to sleep. He tended to be childish like that when it was close to the hour her alarm would go off. Just twenty more minutes before the loud blaring would pull them from the bed.

Mourning the loss of her covers, she heard something soft in her ear. Something that still shocked her a little. There were only a handful of times she managed to wake before Jane and the soft snore gave away the fact that this was one of them. It gave her the all clear she needed to reach for the blankets but as soon she shifted to shimmy down and grasp them, the breath on her neck hitched and his hips lightly bucked against her.

Startled by the motion, she forgot the task at hand and thought of only one thing; he was hard and the unbearable tension between them had yet to be relieved. One month, ten days and still struggling to find their moment. She'd wanted to end their frustration ten days ago but it hadn't been in the cards and even after her monthly visitor had gone, it still hadn't happened. Work kept them busy and exhausted. New cases always brought on long hours. They got home late and just in time to fall into bed before collapsing completely, although she knew Jane stayed up a lot longer than she did.

He wasn't awake at the moment though, which made it all the more surprising. He was a man, she wasn't stupid - this kind of thing happened regardless of being awake or asleep, that wasn't what had her eyes widening. It was the fact that he thrust himself against her, making his arousal more pronounced and tightening his hold to keep her pressed back into him. She'd woke to feel him like this before but he'd always been awake and smiling sheepishly in apology. She really did feel sorry for him. She knew that if it tortured her to the brink then he was probably verging on miserable.

She wanted to help him. They had a few minutes to spare and she wanted to show him that soon there would be more than just burning gazes, passionate kisses and sensual touch. Shifting against him - wiggling her hips to stir a reaction, she heard him softly moan and felt as he pushed into her again. She could feel herself flushing as her nether region moistened in anticipation. Her body didn't know she was doing this for his benefit only. Taking in a deep breath to boost her confidence, she rolled over under his heavy arm and moved to face him.

His eyes were still closed and just to test, she barely bumped her hips into his to gauge his reaction. The hand that was resting on her back flexed, fingers gripping but he didn't act awake. She'd have to fix that, she'd have to be brave enough to carry through with her plan. She felt shy with him for some reason, a hint of vulnerability lacing the feelings in her chest. His eyes flickered behind his lids and she couldn't stop herself from wondering if she was the reason for his hunger or if his thoughts were on the first woman he'd married. She knew it wasn't healthy to dwell on such things but she couldn't help it. When he shifted against her again, she pushed her thoughts aside and let her hands brush over his chest. Sliding them up to his neck as she leaned in and placed a soft kiss to his lips, she had to bite back a moan.

She knew what she was about to do and it took them one step closer. Brought them so close and yet she knew they still wouldn't be quite satisfied with it. Fingers trailing lightly down, she let one hand rest gently on his bad shoulder while the other continued down his stomach. His eyes fluttered at the caress or it could have been due to her hitching a leg over his waist, she wasn't sure.

It wasn't until her fingers dipped below the waistband of his pants that his eyes actually opened. He looked sleepy, confused a little and brimming with fire. Those eyes she loved were growing dark and it thrilled her that the first thing to fall from his lips was her name. It was nothing more than a husky whisper but a wave of pleasure rippled through her at the sound, leaving her just as aroused as he was. He looked pained though and it was when he helplessly whimpered while trying so hard to keep himself from moving against her that she realized why. He was embarrassed by the fact that he'd been sensually grinding into her when he woke.

"S'okay, don't stop." Her words encouraged him, letting him know that he wasn't doing anything wrong and that she wanted him to continue. She wanted him to feel good too. "We have a few minutes."

"Teresa..."

"Let me." It became a staring contest of sorts, gazes locked as she pushed at the fabric covering him. He didn't protest anymore, his muscles relaxed as best they could given the situation. He just stared. The cotton of his pajama pants gave way when she decided two hands were better than one at such a task. She broke their eye contact first, looking down between them to watch as he shifted so she could get the obstruction out of the way. Tucking her fingers into the band of his underwear, she pulled them down as well and felt her cheeks heating up. She was not usually such a school girl, it's not like she'd never seen a guy naked before. He was just different.

She didn't realize that she'd stopped moving her hands until he kicked his way out of the articles of clothing pulled her closer. Embarrassed by her lack of motor skills, she tried to think of something to say but came up empty. He really was beautiful, a golden haired Adonis in the fiery morning sun. The need for him sent a pulse to her core, her body was still so oblivious and reacting to seeing him bare of everything. Just like when they shared a shower, she let her hands skim down below his navel and listened as he sucked in a sharp breath.

She could feel the softness of his skin, the heat of him as her fingers crept lower towards their destination. She expected this to be one way, she was going to help him find release and she'd been entirely unprepared when his hands started unbuttoning the shirt she wore. She didn't say anything to stop him - couldn't if she wanted to but her eyes darted up to meet his as she stopped her caress.

The soft smile tugging at his lips showed everything and as soon as he popped the last button, he was pushing the material to the side. She was supposed to be helping him and yet she was the one letting her eyes flutter when he kissed her nose. It was something so out of place in the sexually charged air that she couldn't help but smile. She figured he'd pull back and enjoy the pleasure but he didn't. His lips were gone from her skin for just a second before landing on her lips, teeth tugging lightly at her mouth and making her moan. He was turning this around and making it about her. She didn't want it to be but her words had escaped her, and the delicious throb between her legs kept her from searching for them.

He pulled her closer, squishing her hands between them and leaving her reeling at the feel of him hot and hard against her stomach. It was different than in the shower, they were dry. She could feel his skin, feel the texture as his hands slid down her cloth covered back and pushed their way inside her panties. Her mouth opened on a sigh, her body rocking against his as he slipped them down to let her kick them to the foot of the bed. He didn't try to remove the shirt, just left it open and moved his lips over her chin, down her neck to suck lightly at her pulse point.

Bare chests pressed together, hips aligning as he nipped at her skin. Something in the back of her head reminded her of her goal and convinced her fingers to move from between their bodies so she could ghost them down his side. He was becoming highly sensitive to the tiny touches, groaning against her as she squeezed his hip and resumed their earlier position by hitching a leg over his waist. She'd forgotten they were naked from the waist down, their heated skin sliding in friction reminded her immediately as a low moan was ripped from her lungs.

He tensed against her, breathing deeply to calm himself as she shifted to find a more comfortable position. It wasn't easy, she was damp and aching - it didn't exactly make it a walk in the park. She wanted some relief and she knew he did too. She could tell by the way the hard length pressing into her stomach twitched. They were both ready for some kind of release after waiting over a month. He tipped his head back, eyes closed with a little line showing up between his brows and she took the opportunity to bury her face in his shoulder. This was, if possible, more taunting than their morning in the shower.

She wanted to tell him that this wasn't supposed to be about her, wanted to protest when he pulled his body back far enough to slip a hand between her thighs but the shockwave that shook her when she felt his touch kept her from doing anything other than grip him tighter and press her face into his neck. She certainly couldn't think straight with him sliding a finger through her folds, gently exploring.

Her back arched, begging silently for more. He granted the request, slipping the digit inside her depths just as her muscles clenched tightly. Her breathing stopped altogether for a few seconds as she held it in, hoping to ease the intensity of the tightening she could feel in her lower belly. It didn't help - as soon as she took a breath and he lightly thrust against her, it all came back. A second finger joined the first, curling upwards, pressing and making her forget all about pleasuring him. It was all so new, so exhilarating.

She didn't think, didn't feel anything but the movement of his hand and his excitement pressing into her. She didn't ruin the moment by filling it with worries, or doing anything besides reveling in the heat of his skin against hers, the pleasure rolling through her in waves as he pressed a kiss to her cheek and brushed his thumb against her clit. Her body jerked at the sudden touch, the jolt it sent through her was electrifying and drew a whimper from the man bringing her closer to the edge. She felt as though she were being pulled all different directions, tightening and tightening until she's sure she was about to burst into pieces. It was his voice that broke her control, made her give in to the throes of desire threatening to tear her apart. The words, the whispering tone, the tenderness he used as he thrust his fingers between her legs - it was all just too much.

"My wife, my love." She clung to him as the words flowed gently into her ear, his breath coming out in short puffs. She couldn't hold on, she didn't want to. With silence, she let go, feeling the coil in her belly spring apart in rapid succession as every muscle in her body tensed. She couldn't make a sound as the pleasure tore through her, just bit her lip and nuzzled his neck as he kept his hand working a steady rhythm to help her along. Her eyes shut tightly to block out everything but the sensations pouring through her as she felt herself go limp against him.

She'd been feeling insecure about the wife thing for days and hearing him say something so simple had eased her mind for the time being, allowing her to give in. She moaned lightly when he pulled his fingers out of her and that's when she remembered that this was supposed to be about him, she was supposed to be helping him reach satisfaction not the other way around.

Slightly embarrassed by her orgasm, she ran her hand down his chest and pushed back to see his face. She knew just by the way he scrunched his brows that he wasn't far behind her and when she brushed her hand against his tip he let out a low growl. He tried to push off of her frantically but she held him in place, her body still humming; eyes still half lidded and hazy.

"Teresa, I'm about to..." One more touch was all it took, just a light press of her fingers and she felt his warm release against her stomach as his words trailed off into a strangled groan. He strained, arching into her, pressing hard as the satisfying sparks engulfed him. She knew that he was trying to move so he could make it to the bathroom but she didn't want him to. He was fine where he was and when his body slumped against hers, she rolled to her back.

Using the shirt that still hung from her arms, she gently wiped at her belly and then shrugged out of the fabric. The body pressing half of her into the mattress was unmoving save for the motion with his every intake of oxygen. Their breaths were the only sound for a few minutes as she let one hand brush through his hair and the other stroke down his back. The urgency she'd been feeling has dissipated but the need for him still lingered. She was left hoping they got a break soon, her day off was next week and she prayed this held them over till then.

She let her mouth open to say something but the beeping of the alarm cut her off, making it known that work wouldn't wait and their morning together was over. Jane moved against her, finally lifting his head from her chest at the foul sound filling the air. His hand reached out to smack the snooze button and then he snuggled right back down into her breasts. They could have five more minutes.

* * *

Thankfully the day was slow, work being pretty much boring compared to the way it'd been the last few days. Lisbon loved it, it gave her time to think back on the morning she'd had with Jane. The way they'd satisfied each other with touch. Sure, it wasn't quite what she wanted and she knew he felt the same but it had still been an experience she wouldn't forget anytime soon. She felt lighter, happier than she had in their forty days of being married. In those moments when she'd clung to him, when he'd whispered in her ear; she hadn't felt any of the doubts that poured into her head every other minute of the day.

Even now, although happy, she was still thinking her usual thoughts. Thinking back to when he'd mentioned his first wife on their one month anniversary. It stung to even think about it but she knew he hadn't meant anything by it. She knew because he acted as though it were nothing, never even brought it up again. Maybe she should tell him it hurt, she knew that she probably needed to considering what they'd done earlier that morning but she didn't know how to approach the subject. She was terrified of offending him somehow.

The knock on her office door brought her back from the thoughts tinting her cheeks a rosy pink. Her gaze caught sight of the red head and she offered her a polite smile. She'd been smiling a lot more than she had the previous several days.

"Hey Boss, here's the records you asked for on the McKennah case."

"Thanks." The weight of the papers in her hand, drew her attention to the one handing them to her. She seemed nervous, kinda antsy about something. "Anything else?"

"I was just...Jane said to ask you first and I..."

"Just ask, I'm not going to bite."

"Can I throw you a baby shower?" Lisbon knew the look on her face probably resembled a bit of horror, shock, and confusion. Then it hit her, Jane had told her that Van Pelt thought she was pregnant and she'd meant to set her straight, she simply forgot with all the tension bubbling at home. Rubbing a palm over her face, she blew a thin stream of air through her lips. Well, she supposed this was one way to confront the topic. "I-I know you haven't told anyone but I..."

"Grace, Jane and I aren't...I'm not pregnant."

"But Jane said..."

"I know he didn't exactly correct you when you told him you thought I might be but he's Jane. I'm not expecting." She was trying to keep herself in check but part of her wanted to throttle the consultant for not setting the young woman straight. This had to be the most awkward - well almost the most awkward - conversation she'd ever had.

"Really?"

"Really." The disappointment showed on Van Pelt's face, making Lisbon feel like the bearer of bad news all of a sudden. She felt the urge to apologize but held it in knowing it'd sound stupid. Apparently her rookie had been rather excited about the thought of her and Jane having a little one.

"Oh." The awkward silence reared it's ugly head as they both just glanced around the office for something interesting. "Uh well I uh, have stuff to do. Work stuff. Sorry for bothering you."

She didn't reply, just watched as the agent stumbled over her words while walking out the door. She didn't blame her, poor thing was probably embarrassed even more than she was. The sudden urge to kill her husband flickered through her mind until she remembered their bodies pressed together, mostly bare skin caressing bare skin. It went away after that, being replaced by the unsatisfied fire she could still feel in her veins. Her body knew what it wanted and it knew that it hadn't got it.

She didn't even have time to drop her gaze back to her desk before another figure came bounding in. This time she knew who it was immediately. Even if she hadn't been able to see him she could've gone on his smell alone. He was simply Jane, no one else smelled like he did. It was refreshing, male and some hint of cologne that she never cared for. She rather liked when they were at home and he didn't bother with the stuff.

"What'd you do to poor Grace? She looks humiliated."

"I just had to explain to her that I'm not having a baby. Suffice to say we're both a little humiliated." Flashing him a mock glare, she threw her pen at him and watched him duck. She loved doing that. It was great to see him squirm every now and then. Besides he'd made her late for work by letting her drift back to sleep and then unplugging the alarm.

"Uh yeah, sorry. She wanted us to have a girl." Rolling her eyes, Lisbon let herself be pulled from thoughts of two wives and into his bright smile. "Your brother wants a nephew."

"What? How do you..."

"He told me." It clicked together in her mind instantly. When Jon had leaned over to whisper in his ear, he must have been making a remark about them having kids. She hated to disappoint but everyone was just going to have to wait for quite awhile before she even let herself be consumed with those thoughts. She had too many others to deal with.

"So, there a reason you're in here bugging me?" It was a sad attempt at a subject change but he didn't call her on it. He knew she didn't like baby talks and she was grateful he was kind enough to let it go.

"Thank you." The playful tone was gone, replaced by something soft and caring. She let her shoulders drop, eyes softening as she gave him a little nod. She knew what he meant. They hadn't spoken of their morning yet, bantering instead and this was the first time he really showed her the same unguarded look he'd had when they were wrapped up in each other and forgetting the world. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm good."

"You want to tell me what's going on in your head?" With a soft sigh, she wondered why he always brought stuff like this up at work. Same reason he'd proposed there she guessed. "I can see that there are things that still bother you. I'm just trying to get them out in the open so we can work on it."

"Am I your wife Patrick?"

"Yes, what kind of question is that?" She'd been planning to confront it straight on. If he wanted to bring up such a thing at the office then she was simply going to tell him and then ask him to leave but the slight curve of his mouth kept her from saying anything further. He looked happy. Another time she'd ask. She'd flat out force the words to leave her tongue if she had to. She couldn't constantly worry that he'd talk about his late wife and use the same title he used for her.

But she would ask. One day, just not this one. She already had the approach, it started with the question she'd just voiced. He answered yes, of course and then she'd look him in the eye, open her mouth and let the words out. She'd pieced those together too. It was all there on the tip of her tongue and yet she swallowed it back. She wouldn't ruin their day. She almost laughed bitterly at her own excuse, same one she'd used the night he was feeding her Reese's and strawberries while helping her with her headache and cramps.

"Teresa?"

"Huh, oh uh never mind. We'll talk about it later, at home."

"You sure?" With a quick nod, she convinced him she was. Out of all her reservations pertaining to their union, this one bothered her the most and she felt horrible for it. He didn't mean any harm and she was probably being stupid by letting it bother her. "Okay."

"There are things that still bother me. I'm working through it fine on my own. If I need help, I'll let you know."

"I don't..."

"Please, drop it. You can't honestly sit there and tell me that you've opened up completely either. It's impossible. Just let it go for now. Enjoy the day."

"Alright, alright. You've made your point and the day is rather boring. Only good thing that's happened to me so far was waking up." With a soft grin, he let her know that he was a little hurt by her words but not enough to ruin anything. It wasn't enough to make him forget the way they'd spent the early morning. All thoughts aside, they were moving forward physically and emotionally or she never would've let him take the control from her and he never would have let it escalate. It was a big step. She wanted to leave it at that.

**a/n: Next chapter, we get to see some of Jane's thoughts. I feel like Lisbon has been a chapter hog lately. :D**

**Preview: _He let his finger brush along the slope of her nose - loving the way her brow scrunched as he did so - before bringing his hand to rest on her stomach. Something was bugging her, really eating away at her and it irked him that she wouldn't let him know what it was. Surely they should be passed the point of hiding everything. They'd done it all but make love, even took care of each others urges when they became a bit too much. He thought she'd have the decency to share her problem with him after such a huge step for them. Apparently not, well he didn't care. He was going to wake her up, make her tell him_**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mentalist or any of the characters associated with it.**

**A/N: I've been sick or this would have been up two days ago. I feel so much better now, but I'm struggling to update everything. Keep an eye out if you read my other stories, I'm going to try to get updates to everything up before the weekend....we'll see how it goes. And being completely honest, this one probably would have been up way sooner but there was this distraction in the form of a guy who maybe, might have asked me out on a date.**

The television flickered, the channel changing to some cartoon, then a news program where the guy resembled a bulldog in Jane's mind and then it changed yet again to something else. It kept switching and it took Jane a few moments to realize why. He was sprawled on the couch, had been for a few hours but Lisbon hadn't joined him. She'd been a little testy with him for some reason and opted for her chair instead. He hadn't said anything, simply gave her the space she needed but the constant channel changing was getting annoying and when he maneuvered around to see what the deal was, a smile tugged at his lips.

She'd fallen asleep and the remote was secured between her hip and wrist. Despite how adorable she could be while submerged in slumber, he was actually beginning to grow irritated with her. Pushing up from the couch, he walked over to turn off the TV and then stopped directly next to her. He wanted her to explain to him what he'd done wrong, she acted as though he'd messed something up and the only thing he could think of was how they'd spent the morning just two days ago. He thought she'd enjoyed herself but maybe he'd been too selfish, he'd really tried to avoid that and thought he'd done a pretty decent job.

It bugged him that she didn't open up more. He had expected her to be more comfortable, which she was but he'd hoped for a little more ease. He felt like he was constantly prodding and worming his way in. With a sigh, he knelt next to her and wondered if he was the reason her eyes flickered back and forth beneath her heavy lids. Reaching forward, he hesitated for fear of waking her and then realized he'd end up pulling her from her sleep in the end anyway. He couldn't just leave her in the chair and he knew as soon as he picked her up she'd open her eyes.

He let his finger brush along the slope of her nose - loving the way her brow scrunched as he did so - before bringing his hand to rest on her stomach. Something was bugging her, really eating away at her and it irked him that she wouldn't let him know what it was. Surely they should be passed the point of hiding everything. They'd done it all but make love, even took care of each others urges when they became a bit too much. He thought she'd have the decency to share her problem with him after such a huge step for them. Apparently not, well he didn't care. He was going to wake her up, make her tell him.

"Teresa." A soft hum left her parted lips as he let the hand on her stomach rub circles over her cotton covered middle. His irritation got the best of him when she seemed to just settle further into the chair, making him give her a shake. Her eyes flew open after that, confused and sleepy. "We need to talk."

"Wha- it can wait till morning, I'm tired."

"No it can't. I want to know what's been bothering you. Something has really been eating at you, since about the time of our one month mark." He knew she wasn't happy with him confronting her about it the second she stopped trying to get up. With a rush of air leaving her lungs, she flopped back down and turned to fully face him.

"I want to sleep. That's what's bugging me."

"Come on Teresa, this isn't a game."

"Oh so I'm the one playing games now?" With a roll of her eyes she turned away from him and stretched back out. He knew her eyes had closed once again, a rough sigh leaving his lungs as her words set in. What the hell was she talking about? He'd been honest with her lately, he hadn't been playing games. Well maybe at work but not when it came to their marriage.

"What, are you sleeping down here tonight?" She didn't speak, didn't turn to look at him - simply nodded. "Why?"

There was no reply, just a shrug of a shoulder. His patience was wearing thin and without thinking he let loose. He didn't bother to hide the way he felt about her avoidance. She was way too good at avoiding things and he just wanted her to open up a little more.

"Fine, don't tell me. You know I'm really trying here, I want this to work but you never tell me anything. You could put a little effort into it too." It took him a few seconds to figure out why she wouldn't say anything but once he did, he dropped his head and placed a hand on her back, immediately coming to the conclusion that he'd been too harsh and whatever was bothering her was something she was afraid to tell him. She gave herself away with a soft sniff followed closely by another, and another as her shoulders gently shook. She was crying and he had no idea what was going on. "Teresa, please just..."

"You don't see me as your wife. Happy?" Her watery hiccuped words left him stunned. Out of all the things he suspected to be wrong, that had never crossed his mind. "Just leave me alone tonight."

"No, I won't leave you alone. You're my wife and I don't know where you got this insane idea that I don't see...."

"The woman you loved, the family you lost. Jane, I'm not the one you think of when you say the word 'wife' and it shouldn't even matter but," A sting filled his chest at the way she brought up his past. He knew he should get used to it, he should open up more too but it was the way she brought it up - not the subject itself - that had his heart clenching. The whisper filled with a fear that she was saying something forbidden was what got to him the most. "It'll always be her and I can't fault you for that. I don't want to."

"She's my wi-" He felt her tense, the muscles in her back tightening in preparation. In that second, he choked on the word and realized exactly why there were tears on her cheeks. "I-I don't know what else to call...it's just been a long time and I've always, it's going to take me a little while to adjust but that doesn't mean that I don't see you as my wife in every meaning of the word."

"I don't even know why I'm upset, it's stupid but I just want to go back to sleep."

"I think we should talk about this." She didn't want to go back to sleep, she just wanted to avoid the confrontation of feelings. Anyone would be able to tell that she really just wanted confirmation, she was a little insecure when it came to things involving his past. He hated that she'd let this go without bringing it up, that she let it fester beneath the surface until it worked her over enough to bring moisture to her eyes and a tremor to her voice. "I didn't mean to upset you, I'll try to work on it though. No promises but I might be okay with adding a 'late' or 'first' in front of the term."

A shaky sigh filled the air as she turned back to face him, rolling her body beneath his hand so that his fingers were no longer caressing her back but her stomach instead. Like they had been to start with. He took in her slightly reddened eyes, the wet trails on her face and the line between her brows. She wasn't to the point of being a blubbering woman that he couldn't understand and she was calming down - he could tell - so he'd obviously managed to reassure her at least a tiny bit.

"Patrick it's not even about that. Yes, it stung but it shouldn't bother me this much. I know your history. I don't want you to think that you have to give up something because of me. I don't want you to be mad because I'm being selfish - I'm not trying to disrespect..."

"I don't think you're being disrespectful. You're my wife now - it's not fair to you but it's also not going to be easy for me to stop." It really bothered him, the uncomfortable clenching in his chest but he wasn't about to tell her that, not when he realized she was right. He couldn't keep living in the past when he'd already moved into the future. It wouldn't be fair to either of them and it'd probably end up ruining things. "Now will you please sleep upstairs tonight?"

He hated the thought of her sleeping in a chair all night and if he had any say so, she would be in their bed. Even if he had to carry her, she would be next to him or he'd insist on camping out on the couch just to keep an eye on her. It didn't surprise him when she worried her bottom lip between her teeth and glanced around the room.

After several minutes in silence, she finally nodded and he felt slightly triumphant that they'd broken through another barrier keeping them from fully enjoying their time together. Soon he was going to make her his, in every way possible. He was going to show her the love he felt but he wasn't about to ruin the surprise and tell her that. He didn't mention that in just a days time he'd pin her to the bed and hopefully squelch every last worry of hers. Work sadly came first.

**a/n: Yes it is mega short and definitely not the greatest but I swear Jane chapters give me a hard time. Lisbon is so easy but Jane? Pshh. I wanted the wife issue confronted before I let them sleep together. Okay, next shall be Dissolve and Believe (not necessarily in that order), then I'll be focusing on Temptation for a bit since I want to get it done this month. :D**

******Next:_ "What? What'd I say?" He held his hands up mid air as she walked away. Shaking her head, she bit back the witty remark just begging to fly off of her tongue and headed for her office. Men, can't live with them, can't tie 'em up and shove them in your closet either. Apparently it's morally wrong. Really what were they good for exactly? Well besides the obvious and of course their oh so natural ability to speak without thinking._**


	16. Chapter 16

**********Disclaimer: Nope.**

**********A/N: I know I've been kinda late with updates for everything, I'm trying to work that out - really I am. In the meantime, I hope this tides everyone over till I get the new one for Temptation and Believe finished. They're half written, the endings are just giving me a bit of trouble but I'll work it out. Anyway, I'm really hoping you enjoy this chapter. I also need to get back on track with my reading, I'm behind on so many stories.**

**Warning: M for some TLC between our favorite dysfunctional couple. Nothing too bad, beginning is clean. :D**

Lisbon wanted to think that it was another typical workday but the last time she'd thought that, Jane had proposed. She stuck with just thinking it was 'the usual' for the time being and tried to avoid letting herself wonder what unforeseen thing the blond might come up with next. She didn't bother to hide the smile on her face as she sipped at the straw of the cup in her hands. The dark liquid filled her mouth with the taste of Pepsi as Jane sidled up next to her with a knowing look.

He'd been sweet on her all morning, letting her have the first shower while he fixed her favorite breakfast and then proceeded to bring it to her while she was dressing. It was all suspicious but she hadn't said anything then or when he'd brought her lunch and a to-go cup filled with soda. She figured it wouldn't be right to yell at him for it but the slight urge had still been there. She was, after all, perfectly capable of feeding herself. She'd been doing it for years without his help but there was a part of her that liked it. She kind of thought it was nice and it gave her a warm fuzzy feeling in her belly to know he'd obviously been thinking of her.

It unnerved her a bit that the man next to her wasn't saying anything, just staring with a wide grin plastered on his face as she released the plastic straw from between her lips. She glanced around the bullpen in hopes to make him stop, taking in the way her agents were working as Van Pelt rattled off the address of a person of interest in the case they were working. It wasn't until two faces were staring at her that she realized she hadn't spoke and the redhead was still awaiting orders.

"Boss?"

"Take Rigsby, go see if our guy is home." Sensing that the irritating bright smile on her husband's face wasn't going away anytime soon, Lisbon turned to face him as the two agents headed out.

"Something I can help you with Jane?"

"Maybe."

"Care to elaborate on that?" Crossing her arms - best she could while holding a Styrofoam cup - she fixed him with a questioning look that clearly showed her fear of what he might come off with. She wasn't even sure why she'd asked for him to explain further. This was Jane, she really should just learn to walk away.

"Well, my dear, I was simply curious as to if you've always worn polka-dotted underwear to work or if it was simply because we need to do laundry." Nearly dropping the soda, she gawked at him a few long seconds with her mouth slightly open before glancing around to see if anyone was staring. Luckily nobody was, Cho didn't seem to notice but she knew he had heard every word. Anyone walking by would have and with a steely glare, she came to the conclusion that Jane _had _really mentioned her unmentionables in a work environment and for that, he was going to pay.

"You son of a..." Trailing off into a growl, she forcefully brushed by him and swore to seek her revenge when she wasn't so pink in the cheeks. The nerve of him. "I'm burning your couch."

"What? What'd I say?" He held his hands up mid air as she walked away. Shaking her head, she bit back the witty remark just begging to fly off of her tongue and headed for her office. Men, can't live with them, can't tie 'em up and shove them in your closet either. Apparently it's morally wrong. Really what were they good for exactly? Well besides the obvious and of course their oh so natural ability to speak without thinking_. _Well, in Jane's case, he had thought about it.

He'd thought it was okay to say something like that which it wasn't - at least not in her book. No matter how sweet he'd been, she was officially pissed at him and he was officially kicked out of bed until he learned what he could and could not mention in front of their coworkers and the general public. There was no way he'd make it passed the couch once they got home - no way. She'd make sure he knew that.

She tried to, several hours later when he'd unlocked their front door and tossed the keys to the table. She'd opened her mouth to tell him that she wanted him to sleep on the couch for the comment he'd made but she didn't have the chance. He had her pinned to the wall in seconds, his lips meeting hers and making her whole 'anger thing' disappear. He hadn't ever kissed her like that, mouth moving sensually against hers as he pressed himself into her. Stunned by the action, she kissed him back and let one hand travel to the nape of his neck. It suddenly seemed stupid that she wanted him anywhere but in her bed. Gripping him tighter, she thought a little torture would serve him right and nipped his bottom lip to make him slightly pull away.

Barely holding back a smile, she let her hands move to the layers covering his chest. One by one ridding him of the pesky jacket and vest, she immediately went for his shirt, wasting no time at all. He seemed a little puzzled by her take charge attitude but said nothing, his own fingers catching up and reaching for the hem of her top. It was the warm brush of his palms against her stomach that had her pausing, reveling in the touch and making what she was about to do even harder for her but somehow she managed. Just as she was pushing his shirt off his shoulders, letting her fingers dance over his chest - she leaned her head back against the wall and whispered his name.

"Patrick?"

"Hm?"

"I'm awfully," She waited to see his eyes, cloudy and darkened with want and then she finished her statement. "...tired, I think I'm gonna crash early."

The confusion on his face was priceless as she pushed him away and headed for the stairs. She couldn't resist turning back to see, it was just too tempting to get him back after the underwear thing. If he wanted to play dirty then he'd have to learn that she could hold her own quite well when it came down to it. Tossing a smile back over her shoulder, she tilted her head towards the couch.

"You can sleep down here until you decide to refrain from mentioning anything about us or my choice in underwear at work." She almost felt sorry for him, he actually seemed to believe her which was saying he had to be aroused enough to have his skills slightly out of order. That'd been her goal. It was kind of evil but he deserved it and she wasn't actually planning to make him sleep on the couch - although she had been when they walked through the door but now her body decided to veto the idea. She had a better one. It was another way he could make it up to her and it was better than going to bed alone. After all, she didn't have work the next day and she'd been planning something for awhile. "Patrick? You okay?"

Recognition showed on his features as it became impossible for her to hide her smirk. He shrugged out of the shirt she'd left dangling from his arms, and left it where it landed. She didn't care, she'd make him pick up some other time. She really couldn't gripe when she'd tossed his jacket and vest various places. He flashed her that award winning grin and started after her as she continued to climb the stairs.

"That was mean."

"Serves you right." She didn't speed up, neither did he and when he caught her elbow to spin her around, she wasn't the least bit surprised. There was something in his touch that made her aware of where this was all heading and doing away with the jokes. It was gentle, warm and erased everything from her mind except for them. The only thing that remained was their intimacy, the growing cloud of desire between them slamming her senses. His playful smile was gone, making hers fade away as he leaned in closer. His eyes never left hers, searching for something. Everything changed in just a few seconds, going from teasing to something a lot more serious. Her mouth felt dry, cottony all of a sudden and her stomach twisted when his hand lifted to her neck.

She didn't want to deal with nerves, he was her husband for crying out loud but she couldn't help but feel the hint of nervousness. They'd kissed, seen each other naked, even pleasured one another but this was something above and beyond and it was only a look. Albeit one that told her exactly what he had planned which just so happened to match what she wanted. He was still Patrick Jane though, and that made her a little shaky.

She wouldn't ever forget how she'd become 'Mrs. Jane' or the talk they'd had about the 'wife' thing. She wouldn't ever forget any of it and that added to what she was feeling but he looked so sincere shuffling closer to her that she pushed her intruding thoughts away and even forgave him a little for the stupid comment he'd made earlier in the day. She'd just have to find some things that would embarrass him and learn to fire back whenever he said something like that. He was Jane and even though that shouldn't be a valid explanation for his behavior, it was.

With Jane's thumb brushing along her jawline and his other hand secured to her lower back, Lisbon couldn't muffle the soft sigh that fell from her lips. Then again, she hadn't exactly been focused enough to even try. Her attention was elsewhere. Mainly flickering between being sucked into the bottomless orbs holding her own captive and the mouth that she knew would be gentle yet determined if she closed the distance. She was just about to rid them of the few inches of space keeping them apart when he pulled back and wrapped his hands around her smaller ones.

It didn't take an expert to figure it out. As soon as he tugged her towards the bedroom, she gave in easily and let him lead her. She was one for control, she thrived off of it but this was something different. She wasn't giving up her precious ability to have a say over everything, she was simply going with the flow because her body wanted her to. She wanted to and there was simply no way she'd put this off any longer. She was ready to take this leap with him. She loved him, she'd married him and it'd been a month a half of so many emotions, so many looks and touches. It was time.

Crossing the threshold into their room seemed to suck the air out of her lungs, leaving her fighting to catch her breath as it sank in. She was about to let Jane undress her which wasn't anything new but she was about to let him go a heck of a lot further than that and there would be no stopping this time. She couldn't do that to him again and she didn't want to. The ache between her thighs proved how much she wanted this with him but it was still a little overwhelming. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little scared, a little unsure of what to do.

Her feet stopped moving once she stood next to the bed, her shoes and socks had been lost somewhere along the way but she wasn't sure where. She faintly remembered kicking them off near the door as she stared down and wiggled her toes. She hadn't been expecting this. Yes, she'd planned it but after he managed to ruin her mood she'd forgotten all about seduction and vowed to make him sleep on the couch. He reminded her with that kiss, the way he'd held her against the wall and taken over her mouth.

It hadn't been rough or forced, it'd been electrifying and somehow sweet. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and wished for the shakiness she could feel in her body to just go away. Eyes opening again, she noticed the room was brighter - the lamp in the corner had been turned on. She didn't want to think of how long it'd been since she'd had a man but she knew it'd been awhile. She never made time in her life and when there was, she had trouble opening up. Mostly it was scattered dates and some sex thrown in for good measure but this was a whole other story. This was Jane and she was verging on terrified. This was nothing like just a few days ago when she'd woke him to bring him pleasure and ease some of their frustrations. She'd been nervous then too but a deep breath had given her the courage and she was hoping it'd do the same in this situation as well.

Deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling while never taking her eyes off the floor. She heard Jane's whisper, her name filling the once silent room as his thumbs caressed the backs of her hands. It was comforting somehow, he was comforting and she decided to hazard a glance up at the man. He looked softer than he did when they were working. She'd noticed it before - noticed that he seemed to truly relax and just be while they were home but it was mixed with nerves on this night. She wasn't the only one a little worked up. She supposed this type of thing was normal for first times in a situation such as theirs. Untangling her fingers from his, she let her hands ghost up his chest to rest on his shoulders.

No words fell from their mouths, nothing breaking the charged energy in the air as lips met again. There was more feeling behind the kiss, more power brimming just below the surface as they gave in to the hunger they'd been fighting for too long. Lips melded, tongues tasted and teeth nipped until Jane tugged her shirt over her head. The move interrupted but not for long and then they were pressed together again, hands beginning to explore skin slowly, memorizing with touch. Nothing was rushed, it was all slow paced and that was fine. Lisbon wanted it this way. Despite the reaction her body was having to the tantalizing touches, she wanted it to be drawn out. She didn't want something rushed, at least not this time.

She wanted to enjoy every second, each minute that passed and she wasn't going to let the tightening in her belly control things. She wasn't going to make him speed things along, though she could feel herself already pulsing in anticipation. His mouth moved across her chin, her jaw and down to her neck as his hands gently grasped the backs of her bare thighs, lifting her to settle her against the mattress. It registered then that her pants were missing and she didn't recall that happening but she'd been distracted by his kisses. When she felt her head rest against the pillow, she became highly aware of every tiny touch. Every nerve ending in her body was sending a signal of some sort as he came to rest over her, legs tangling with hers.

The fabric of his slacks was smooth and cool against her skin, the texture foreign yet all the more arousing. The feel of his warm mouth and wet tongue contrasted nicely with his hands slipping the straps of her bra down her arms but what got her the most was just the feel of him pressing her into the bed. Her hands gripped his curls as he sucked at her collarbone, nipping lightly to soothe away the sting with his tongue as he pulled the scrap of cloth covering her breasts from her body. A gasp escaped when his palm covered one peak, her eyes fluttering as a burst of pleasure rippled through her heading directly between her legs. She didn't doubt what they were doing. She knew she wouldn't regret it but even lying beneath him couldn't stop her from recalling how they'd made it to this.

Whether it was normal or not to be thinking while Jane was lowering his hand to her panties was something Lisbon didn't know. She inhaled sharply when his fingers brushed over her navel, tickling her in the process and making her dip her hands below the waistband of his slacks. She didn't take forever, didn't fiddle around with teasing him, she just freed him from the confines and let him kick them the rest of the way off.

It wasn't until they were both bare that Jane pulled back far enough to look her in the eye. His gaze was enthralling, pulling her in and refusing to let her go. It was filled with warmth and need and everything that she knew was reflected in her own eyes. There was no movement on either of their parts, hands had stilled as he searched for something. She didn't know what he was looking for but she knew when he'd found it. A ghost of a smile tilted his lips and he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, then her cheek. He was being so tender with her that she was sure she'd shatter into a million pieces if he didn't relieve them both soon. She liked it, she did but she was ready for him and she could feel him, it was all so much at once.

Heated skin flush against heated skin, sensitive areas almost achieving their goal and with a soft moan, she let him know what she was feeling. She was boiling, waiting for more.

He whispered her name, a shudder overtook her as it rolled off his tongue and the hands resting on his shoulder blades twitched. Licking her lips, she forced her eyes to stay open long enough to see that he was trying to ask her something. There was a question lingering in his eyes but she couldn't figure it out. Her cloudy mind couldn't think of anything he could be confused about. All she could think of was how it felt to be so close but when his hard length nudged against her heat and her name rode out once more as a question, she realized what he was wanting to know. He was leaving it up to her and as sweet as the gesture was, she felt a little bit of panic rising.

"I need an answer, darling or this will be over before it ever starts." The flush in his cheeks caught her off guard but she knew he was still slightly embarrassed by the fact that he probably wouldn't last very long. His voice was tight, hoarse when he forced the question out into the open. "Condom or no?"

She felt bad for keeping him waiting but she had to think. She was clean, she didn't want any barriers but that would risk pregnancy and she'd been telling herself that she wasn't ready for that. The fact that he was taking the time to ask meant it didn't matter to him, or did it? She didn't know if he realized that he probably wasn't as ready as he thought.

Her mouth opened to answer, a conclusion had been made and it kind of startled her a bit but she let go of the unsettled feel in her stomach and uttered the words that could change everything.

"If i-it happens, it happens." Forcing a smile, she gave him a small barely noticeable nod and prepared herself for what came next. His sigh of relief was loud in her ear, his lips settling to her cheek and then moving to her lips. She felt him shift and parted her legs a little more to accommodate him as he gently pressed into her. Her fingers dug into his back at the slightly uncomfortable feel of him pushing through, her tensed muscles didn't help the process and when he settled, filling her, she prayed that 'it' didn't happen.

She didn't know why she was giving up control on the issue when she knew she wasn't ready for a baby but when he gripped her tighter, she pushed it away and decided to just enjoy herself. The stretching in her lower region was becoming more apparent the longer he stayed completely still and it was starting to get harder and harder to keep herself from moving. She knew what he was doing. The way he kissed her softly, lips barely brushing and the tightness in his muscles gave it away. He was desperately trying to stay in control and that was the only reason she wasn't flipping him and taking over.

Dragging her lips away from his, she leaned forward slightly to tell him it was okay, to whisper a loving 'If you need to let go, I understand, Patrick.' in his ear. He just shook his head and started to slowly rock his hips. It drew a gasp from her lungs, the motion wasn't quite what she'd expected and it took her a few seconds to match his rhythm. Burying her face in his shoulder, she held him tighter and clenched her eyes shut. It was something so soft, sweet, tender - she couldn't think of enough words to describe it but it wasn't anything like how she'd pictured it. So much more, so real and raw. She could feel him trembling, could hear his ragged breaths as their thrusts continued.

One month and fifteen days. It had taken them that long to give in, to find the right time and Lisbon really didn't care if it lasted or not. She was surrounded by him, filled by him and that was the only thing that mattered to her but Jane was proud. He wanted her to be satisfied as well and in her opinion, he was just being stubborn. The feel of him moving between her thighs was enough for her, to know that he loved her and they were really husband and wife in every sense was plenty. She was happy like this, with him. The sigh that fell from her parted lips - as his fingers gripped her, tightening and pushing into her skin - should have proved that.

It wasn't painful, nothing about anything he was doing would be classified as painful. It was pleasurable in the best way. The rocking motion of his hips, the way he felt inside her, the kisses he was peppering to the side of her face, all of it was tender. A somewhat garbled moan poured from his mouth and she knew. He couldn't hold on and really it was fine. She was close anyway, her release probably only minutes away as he kept repeating 'I'm sorry' over and over in her ear.

Just to finally take such a step with him was enough at this point. This wouldn't be their last time and she wasn't disappointed when his body went rigid against her. She stroked his curls, still moving beneath him to help him along as he pushed into her one last time. She didn't count on his hand slipping between them, finding her sweet spot and rubbing gently. She wanted to tell him that he didn't have to do that but her vocal chords escaped her when she felt the warmth of him filling her and the way his body sagged in completion.

The hand moving through his hair, gripped when she felt that coil low in her belly twist even tighter. She wasn't far along and he seemed determined, their bodies still melded together intimately had her heightened to the point of being on the edge. He moved his head, lifting it from her neck and staring down at her. She'd say that was what did her in; what had her body tensing just minutes later, back arching as he continued to just watch. She couldn't tear her eyes away from his, couldn't let them close as the burning between her thighs exploded into a heat that flooded her entire being.

He was shaking, she was sure his energy was gone when the waves rippling through her lessened. Neither of them were exactly nineteen anymore and yet it seemed sweeter to her that she'd had such an effect on him. He was trembling as she hugged him closer, letting most of his weight collapse against her. They didn't whisper I love yous, they didn't need to. They knew and there was no need to turn it into something overly cheesy. It was fine the way it was. Simply slow and sweet. Nothing like she'd imagined at all.

They both winced when he pulled away, their bodies slipping apart as he rolled to his side. Lisbon stayed where she was, letting herself turn her head to face him as he bunched up a pillow and rested against it. He wasn't as shaky, his hand tracing over her cheek as she offered him a watery smile. She wouldn't admit it but she felt like crying. She wasn't upset or sad she just felt different - better than she had in a long time and it was making her more emotional than she cared to admit. She didn't really want to be one of those women who cried afterwards - not that she had anything against them, she just liked to think she could control her emotions - and luckily she managed to hold it together. No tears leaked out but she had to suck in a breath and hold it when Jane brushed her bangs back from her face.

"I-uh, I tried..."

"I know, Patrick. I told you that's not what matters to me." The illuminated room left everything visible, the lamp showing Lisbon that his curls were as damp as they'd felt and that his body seemed to glisten. Neither of them bothered to cover themselves, it'd be pointless. It would have been so even if they hadn't just had sex. It was nothing they hadn't seen before and to be honest, she just didn't feel like moving much. "Stubborn man."

Turning to mimic his position, she let her hand ruffle his locks as she shifted closer. There was a slight stab of panic trying to weasel its way in, break through the atmosphere and ruin it by making her freak out about the decision she'd made in the heat of the moment. She fought it, she didn't want Jane to know that she really didn't agree with what she'd said. She didn't think 'if it happens, it happens' was something she should have said at all. It gave him false hope that she was considering children when they both knew they still had things to sort out - but then why had he asked such a thing in the first place? Then why had she answered the way she did? So many questions.

The warm press of lips against her own, ripped the thoughts away and replaced them with languid kisses. She didn't regret this. Finally the tension that had built between them was exhausted for the time being and it felt so nice to be heavy and weightless at the same time. Lisbon was sure that there would be more rounds of lovemaking and it only took her seconds to decide condoms would be put to use for those. She should have been using more of her brain.

"Shhh, don't think. Just relax." Leave it to Jane to be able to know that she was thinking from a kiss. "You okay?"

"Mhm."

"Teresa, I know you're thinking hard about something. Just tell me." She almost caved, almost told him exactly what she feared but she knew she didn't want to deal with it. That was kind of her thing, avoiding problems but he was just as good at it.

"I was thinking about how the next time you mention my underwear in front of our colleagues or the public in general, I'll be sure that you never set foot in this bedroom again. Hear me?"

"I hear ya but that doesn't mean we can't have sex in various other places, does it?" With a smile, she pushed his shoulder and shook her head. She knew he wasn't dumb. She knew that he could tell that wasn't what she was thinking about but she wanted to bask in the afterglow. Wrapping herself around him, she stroked her hands up and down his back as he done the same. The position was a little uncomfortable but they didn't complain. He simply pressed a kiss to her hair and whispered that everything would be just fine. Those words told her that he already knew what was bothering her and with a sigh, she let herself believe him - after all they'd made it this far.

**a/n: There it is. The chapter that most of you have been waiting for. :D It's not all happy but surely you didn't expect all romance and no little uncertainties. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this.**

**Next: _The mirror on her closet became her focal point, her eyes taking in her mussed hair, flush complexion and sparkling eyes. Yes, her eyes had that little glint in them, the one that told the world she'd gotten lucky the night before. She breathed a sigh and let her gaze drift to the man still in the bed behind her, she longed to crawl back under the covers and with a slight tilt of her head, she decided that's exactly what she was going to do. _**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I, Nellie, do not own the Mentalist.**

**A/N: I wanted to get another chapter of this up tonight. The new one for Dissolve is almost finished. :D I'm excited about it. Anyway, I'll probably have a new one for Believe up as well. Either tonight or sometime within the next two days. I'm feeling productive again, I guess being disappointed leads to me wanting to write. We'll see how long it lasts.**

**For my 6th grade reading teacher, my father, my best friend who's always there for me and of course all of you guys out there reading this. :) Anonymous reviewers: Elise, pjtl4e, Danni, and Please write more!**

There was nothing special about the way Lisbon woke for the second time on her day off. The sun was peeking into the bedroom through the curtains, the clock said it was after nine and she could hear the sounds of the city as usual. She recalled the first time her eyes had struggled to open, however and instantly felt her body grow warm. The man asleep beside her hadn't been satisfied until he'd woke her at four in the morning to make love again. She already felt as though she would never be able to get enough of his sweet caresses. She knew the feeling would eventually fade a bit but she also knew that for the time being they were stuck in a honeymoon phase and she didn't mind. It made all the sense in the world for her to be smiling before she even got out of bed on this morning.

She'd been waiting to finally take that step with him - to meld their bodies together as one for a brief moment in time. There was a twinge in her belly at the memories flooding through her brain. Hands, lips, thrusts, heavy breaths and moans. She silently cursed herself for responding. The hands that had her at their mercy just hours before were wrapped around her waist and she knew that his right arm had to be numb. She was crushing it into the mattress and yet he was still sleeping, seemingly unaware.

Lisbon really didn't want to seem like a clichéd woman but she honestly couldn't remember sex being any better than it'd been with him. She supposed that came from loving him. It probably was deeper and more powerful with someone you truly loved and she'd never had that before him. It seemed odd to her that she was so calm and content to just lie on her side, facing him. Even as close as they'd become, sharing kisses and such, she'd never just stared at him while he slept. She always woke him but not this time.

He looked so peaceful, soft and the only thing she could bring herself to do was run her fingers up his arm and softly chuckle at the goosebumps the touch left behind. This was how she had wanted to feel since the beginning. She felt happy and fuzzy inside, her body still humming from the experience of having Patrick Jane in her bed, between her thighs. They definitely didn't have the best relationship but she didn't doubt it like she had in the early stages. She no longer thought it'd end horribly or that he didn't love her. He'd shown her how much he truly cared for her with every kiss, every brush of bare skin and if their marriage ever did end, she knew it wouldn't end with them absolutely hating each other.

She didn't want it to end, as oddly as it'd started she did not want to be single again. Being married had been hard and awkward at first - it still was at times - but she was getting used to it now. It wouldn't be the same if she'd have to come home to nothing but an empty apartment. It would be hard to go back to her old life that didn't include Jane anywhere but work. She enjoyed him too much, even when they were on the verge of yelling she couldn't deny that she liked that he was there. Realizing that her vision was starting to blur with tears, she pushed the unhappy thoughts away and came to the conclusion that her full bladder wouldn't hold out much longer.

As carefully as possible she wiggled out from beneath his grasp, quickly shoving a pillow back in her place as he shifted. Really she just wanted to see if he'd do the same thing he'd done the last time she tried to replace herself with the plush rectangle. His face scrunched, eyes flickering under his lids as his lips pursed and his arms tightened around the warm pillow. It didn't even matter to her that she was completely nude, she just stood there for a few seconds watching as he made a disgruntled sound, shoved the pillow away and rolled to his stomach. It tickled her, it was just amusing for some reason.

With a shake of her head, she made quick strides to the bathroom. Muscles that she'd forgot about pulled uncomfortably but it was a mere dull stretching, nothing too severe. In her completely blissful waking, she'd forgotten about the reason she'd momentarily freaked out the night before but it all came rushing back as she emptied her bladder. They hadn't used any form of protection during their first time and the thought of a baby terrified her to the point of hyperventilating. They just weren't ready for something that big. She was mad at herself, not Jane. He'd asked and she'd made the decision though she still had no idea why.

It wasn't until she was standing next to her dresser, pulling out a shirt to slip over her naked form that she realized what all of this meant. She trusted him with everything. She'd never let herself fully trust him before. Sure, she had trusted him but not to this extent. Feeling the cotton slide against her skin, she caught sight of the rings on her finger and smiled. While she still wasn't sure they should've gotten married so soon, she was sure that she loved him. He was spontaneous, charming, irritating at times, egotistical but for some reason those were also the things she liked. Well, sometimes she liked them and other times she wanted to wring his neck for those very traits.

The mirror on her closet became her focal point, her eyes taking in her mussed hair, flush complexion and sparkling eyes. Yes, her eyes had that little glint in them, the one that told the world she'd gotten lucky the night before. She breathed a sigh and let her gaze drift to the man still in the bed behind her, she longed to crawl back under the covers and with a slight tilt of her head, she decided that's exactly what she was going to do.

Stepping quietly, she made her way back to her side but before she could even lift her leg to attempt to get back into the inviting bed, Jane's eyes opened and he gave her a playful smile. She wasn't sure why she froze but she did, he just looked as though he had something planned. It was easy to tell he'd been awake for a few minutes, faking so she wouldn't suspect a thing. With an accusative eyebrow raise, she silently showed her curiosity.

"If we're spending all day in bed - which I think is a brilliant plan - then I have one rule." Something told Lisbon that she shouldn't ask and yet the next words out of her mouth completely defied her brain.

"What's that?"

"The shirt goes. No clothes beyond this point." She could've argued that it was cold - it was - but she knew he'd win this battle so with an aggravated sigh at his childish grin, she pulled the shirt off and grumbled about only being able to wear it for two seconds. He wasn't that sentimental about it as she settled back under the covers. "That's better."

"You're impossible." Lisbon expected a witty comeback but she didn't get one. Something in his eyes changed the moment she rested her head next to his on the pillow, going from puckish to something more pensive in nature. She didn't want to break whatever spell he seemed to be under so she didn't shy away when his fingers brushed along her stomach to settle low, almost a little too low to be innocent.

"I know you're a little upset about last night but if...you'll make an amazing mother." Her heart dropped a little when he offered her a soft smile. She really didn't want to talk about it.

"We're not ready - I'm not sure we ever will be."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. Just don't worry about it, everything will be fine." Jane pressed a kiss to her forehead but it didn't help much. She smiled anyway and pretended. Sometimes she wondered if he did the same thing - just pretended that everything was okay when it really wasn't. She suddenly didn't really feel like spending all day in bed after all.

"It's getting late, we should get up."

"It's not even ten. We have nothing better to do."

"Shower, food - those two things seem like they're better." He tried to object but she was already pulling away, she was being horribly indecisive. It was getting to the point that she'd started to annoy herself with it. She wanted to stay in bed with him but she didn't want to talk about certain things and he seemed to always bring up those certain things. "You can make the food while I shower."

"Stop." Warm, firm fingers encircled her wrist as she pushed herself up out of the bed. Jane's voice was stern yet loving and she listened just to see what he was about to say. "We need to get something straight. Last night, we made love - that wasn't merely sex and..."

"I know."

"That's not what we need to sort out. I know you know but you need to realize that I'm no longer just 'Jane'. I think you've managed to a certain point but you're still hiding things, suffering in silence instead of just telling me. Like now, for example. I just want you to feel comfortable enough to tell me what bothers you. We're married Teresa, you gotta be more open. I'm not going to judge you or think you're weak, in fact you're one of the strongest people I've ever met." Normally she might have taken offense to what he'd said but for some reason the only thing she could feel was shame for not talking to him. Shame for sweeping it all under the rug and hoping it'd disappear. It was the look in his eyes that made her feel that way. So loving and tender, understanding when she really didn't deserve it.

"I'm trying." Letting her gaze drop to the floor, Lisbon decided that she might as well start with something small. Baby steps with the emotional stuff, just as they'd taken baby steps with their relationship - well besides the whole three day engagement fiasco. "I'm still getting used to this. I generally keep everything to myself because that's all I've known and it's hard to let that go I guess."

"I'll make ya a deal, I tell you everyday something that's personal or something that's bothering me and you do the same."

"Deal."

"Okay, now for this showering and food thing...why shower? We can do it later." Rolling the option around in her head for a minute, she tried to think of a good reason why she wanted to get away from him for just a few minutes. They'd been all sweaty twice in one night and she figured that cleanliness was a must after something like that.

"We're smelly and gross."

"Then lie around and be smelly and gross with me until later but for the record, I think you smell lovely."

"Fine but we have to get food, I'm starving and you need to shave. I don't want anymore whisker burns." Pushing the rest of the way up from the bed, she picked up the shirt she'd just tugged off and headed for the bathroom with Jane begrudgingly following behind her and tugging on clothes.

Lisbon couldn't believe she'd given into his ways quite so easily but as they stood at the sink brushing their teeth, she couldn't help but share playful glances with him. She'd dressed much to his disapproval, shorts and the shirt she'd grabbed earlier telling him the entire time that she didn't want to wander around her apartment wearing nothing. She blamed her good mood on him - the smile he was giving her, toothpaste running down his chin and making him look like a fool had her stifling a laugh and turning back to rinse her toothbrush.

She'd never thought she'd be standing next to Jane in her - no their - bathroom, washing her face and such and feeling comfortable to do so. Then again, she'd never thought they'd be wearing wedding bands either. In fact, she had pretty much just assumed she'd stay unwed for the remainder of her life. It hadn't really bothered her - well she hid it when it did. Her life wasn't so lonely anymore and even with a feeling of panic pooling in her stomach, she was glad they were together.

"Are you sure you want me to shave, I thought the scruff..."

"Shave." The three day growth was too much for her liking, it was prickly and hurt when he nuzzled her neck. She had red marks trailing her body from the way he'd explored early that morning - though she hadn't been in any state to complain at the time. Patting his cheek, she offered him a small smile and then headed for the kitchen. Her stomach was rumbling, making it known that she hadn't eaten since lunch the day before - the lunch he'd brought her.

He'd been so loving, so tender with her that she hadn't been able to think straight. She was pretty sure, she still wasn't quite thinking straight - she seemed too calm but there was nothing she could do about it. The stairs were conquered easily as she recalled the touch of his hands, the feel of his skin beneath her fingertips and the taste of his kisses. If there were such a thing as perfect, she'd say that their night together had come awfully close.

Well, if it hadn't been for the whole baby thing running through her head. The reason for the unsettled feeling in her belly as she lazily made her way to the fridge. The sun was bright through her blinds and a little harsh compared to the dimly lit bedroom she was used to. Being in bed with Jane had felt comfortable, natural almost and she would've been content to stay there but he had to bring up children and she didn't want to talk about it. She was worrying enough without his input. She was scared that they'd messed up by not using any type of contraceptive and all she could think of was how she'd handle it if she found out she was pregnant so soon.

Marriage was one thing, she was still getting used to it and she knew there was no way she could handle motherhood. She wasn't that strong. She still questioned things too much to be secure enough for a baby. Sure, they'd given in to the sexual urge boiling between them but there were still so many factors to consider. She never expected them to have a lovey dovey kind of marriage, she'd known from the moment she said 'I do' that it wouldn't be like that. They were too damaged, too stubborn for something like that and it made things hard at times. So hard that she wondered why he'd ever asked her to marry him but even with her hiding things and him pulling stupid stunts, love was there somewhere and that's why she didn't call it quits.

If she'd been going to do something like that - end their union - she would have done it four days in when they were barely speaking to each other due to how tense and awkward they were with each other. She would've ended it while he was still sleeping in the floor.

Still, they weren't ready for anything else. They'd just reached the point of engaging in sexual activity after a month and a half of being legally bound together. It'd take her a long while to move any further than that. She had a plan, she'd wait until it was time and then she'd take a pregnancy test. She didn't let herself think of what she'd do if it was positive - she couldn't. She just went about convincing herself that it'd be negative and that cereal would be best for her growling stomach.

A warm set of arms wrapped around her waist, making her spill the milk and mumble a curse. She hadn't expected him, hadn't been prepared for the feel of his cheek rubbing against her neck.

"Look what you made me do." Grabbing a towel from the third drawer to her left, she soaked up the spill while he chuckled and kept at it. She found it odd but finally realized what he was doing. He was showing her that he'd shaved and asking if it was better. The scratchiness was gone which was all she really cared about. "I got it, you shaved and it's smooth again now quit acting like a cat and let me eat."

"Grumpy I see."

"No just hungry." Lifting a spoonful of Cheerios up to her lips, she turned to face him with a slight scowl. He was entirely too touchy - hands on - with her. She wouldn't complain but it was new, they'd touched and caressed before but never this much. It was never like this and she wasn't quite sure she liked it yet.

"Can I have a bite?"

"Get your own." With a grumble, he set about doing just that as she set her bowl next to the sink and hopped up to sit on the counter before digging into the simple breakfast once again. It was calming her empty stomach, easing the hunger and she didn't even realize that she was swinging her legs childishly until Jane pushed at them.

He gently separated her legs, moving to stand between them as he situated his bowl of cereal next to her on the hard counter top. She kept eating, trying to ignore him but when he simply rubbed her thighs and continued to stare at her, it became impossible to shut him out. With a sigh, she set her almost empty bowl next to his full one and covered his hands with her own.

"Can I help you Patrick?"

"You want to crawl back into bed just as much as I do."

"Great deduction there genius."

"Snippy." He pushed his body closer, her legs wrapping around his waist out of reflex. She didn't think about it or she wouldn't have done it, it just happened and once she realized then there was no point in drawing back. "You always pull away when I push you to confront things. I'll let you in on a secret, you do the same to me. You make me face certain things that I've avoided for so long - you're not the only one struggling to adjust. I may make it look easy but it's no easier for me than it is for you."

"I..."

"Every relationship is a learning process and ours is no different even though we're doing it a little differently than most." Lisbon wanted to scoff when he said 'a little differently', it was more like completely backwards but she didn't say anything. She couldn't tear her gaze from his and her legs seemed content to tighten around him, her mouth staying silent. "Your turn to share something."

Lost in his eyes, the emotions she found lurking there and how good he looked so close with his curls seemingly perfect though they'd just rolled out of bed. She envied that, her hair was a rat's nest and his looked great. With a sigh and a quick rake of her fingers through said rat's nest, she nodded a little and dropped her gaze for a few seconds. She'd forgotten about their agreement to share things like this. She knew it was probably good for them though, it'd probably help with the communication process but she still felt as though it was some elementary tell-me-your-secret-I'll-tell-you-mine thing.

It took her a little while to think of what she wanted to share. Nothing really but she knew that wasn't the deal she'd made and he was looking at her so expectantly that she couldn't even push him away and run. His hands rested on her hips, thumbs rubbing in soothing circles as she took a deep breath and let her eyes meet with his once again. Her voice was quiet yet strong when it broke through the silence that had settled.

"I'm afraid that you'll hate me one day." Out of all the things she could've shared that wasn't what she'd actually planned to tell him. It just kind of flew out last second and it wasn't even until that moment that she realized it was true. It must have been lurking in the back of her mind but never fully making itself known like her other fears and insecurities.

A look of shock overtook Jane's features, his head slightly shaking from side to side and his his mouth falling open to reassure her. She pressed her fingers to his lips, scooting closer to the edge of the counter - closer to him.

"We never talked about the fact that I was the one to kill Red John." She didn't add that his real name had been Daniel Clemson. Both of them knew it and still referred to him by the nickname. It was easier. "I can't help but think it's because you resent me a little for it."

Her heart was beating quickly, a clenching sensation tightening her chest as she waited for him to say something. She didn't like this whole opening up thing if it brought out these feelings. She preferred to keep it to herself but she knew they needed to get it out, didn't mean that she had to like it.

"I don't...you really think that I could, Teresa I don't hate or resent you the tiniest bit. It's been over six months, why didn't you say anything before?" The only reply she gave him was a shrug of the shoulders. "I tried to be angry with you right after it happened, tried convincing myself that you did something wrong but the more I tried, the less it worked. Is that one of the things that's been bothering you?"

"I guess."

"I'm glad it was you. Out of everyone there, I'm glad you were the one to do it but I'm sorry that you have to carry the burden." The rest of her cereal was forgotten when he pressed his lips to hers, just a soft kiss that left her feeling as though a few ounces of the heavy weight she carried around had been lifted. Unable to resist, she curled her fingers in his hair and moved her mouth against his freely. She wasn't quite ready to give up the comfort he was providing just yet.

His hands moved from her hips to her back, tugging her as close as possible as he deepened the kiss. She'd originally planned to spend all day in the bed, bare of clothes and exploring every inch of skin - that's why she'd wanted a day off before taking such a step with him - but he'd made her uncomfortable so she'd fled. Not very far of course and now she was back to thinking the bed seemed like a good idea. He had a knack for doing that, making her run and then reeling her back in before the day was over - usually within the hour. Breaking her lips away from his, she rested her forehead against his and nudged his nose with her own.

"It's still early, maybe we could go back to bed after all." His hearty chuckle filled the air between them as he gave her a quick peck before moving to reach for his bowl full or cereal.

"You my dear, are horribly indecisive but I wouldn't have it any other way." She didn't move, he didn't ask her to. She kept him trapped against her, kept her legs around him as he ate. The farthest thing from her mind was the way she'd messed up and the thoughts of babies. She'd decided that she'd just not think about it and then maybe it wouldn't happen. She knew Jane would tell her that sticking her head in the sand wouldn't make anything better but she was pretending that it would.

After he finished his food, placing both of their bowls in the sink, he brushed her hair out of her face and lifted her from the counter. Lisbon hadn't expected the move as a little yelp fell from her mouth. She clung tightly to him, afraid he'd drop her but he didn't. He didn't say anything about the way she held onto him as though her life depended on it or the way she'd let out a very un-Lisbon like squeal when he'd dropped her on the sofa.

Neither of them were delusional, they knew they'd barely scratched the surface of the worries swimming around in Lisbon's mind but they'd gotten somewhere at least and they were both a little surprised by that. It was progress and though she was still hiding what was truly bothering her at the moment, she chose to forget about it and lose herself in him. It wasn't very often they'd get a whole day to be with each other and she wanted to enjoy the honeymoon phase while it lasted.

It was when his hand crept under her shirt and landed over her breast that she knew he planned to take her right there on the couch and just when she was about to protest, he'd pulled a small square foil package from his pajama pants as if he knew why she was about to stop their wandering hands. With a smirk, he went back to what he'd been doing. Lips colliding, Lisbon didn't search for anymore excuses. She'd married him. She'd wanted him. She'd had him and now she wanted him some more. There was nothing wrong with it and she knew this would be the only day for awhile where they had nothing better to do than get to know each other's bodies and what they liked.

She wanted to take advantage of that. She felt as though it were necessary before another hurdle was thrown their way. Her last thought before Jane killed her brain with a brush of his fingers down her stomach was how terrified she was - how hard their relationship would be no matter what. It wouldn't ever be easy - not with the circumstances and yet she let herself be with him. She let herself be possessed by his body, his hands, let herself make love to him because it's what she wanted. It's what they both wanted and she no longer cared that it probably wasn't healthy to be in a marriage with him.

**a/n: This chapter fought me. We had rounds. Anyway, hope you liked. I would also just like to say WOW to all the reviewers last chapter. I had to check my eyes and recount about three times before I believed that I'd managed to get 29 reviews for just one chap.**

**Next: _"Tommy?" Shocked to see her younger brother, Lisbon blinked a few times just to make sure she wasn't seeing things in the early morning sun. They hadn't seen each other in a long while, there was some bad blood running but she wanted to fix it. She wanted everything between all of them patched up. "What are you doing here?"_**

_**"I came to meet my sister's husband." Her face paled at his words. She hadn't called him yet. In fact that'd been in her plans for her weekend so who told?**_


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Well, I own nothing of the Mentalist but I do have a new pair of shoes. I think this is a win.**

**A/N: Okay, firstly I shall apologize in advance - there will be a delay in ALL my stories because I'm participating in the Summer Secret Santa on jello-forever which means slow (if any) updates over the next several weeks. I will try though. I decided I'd go ahead and update this (as well as Temptation and Family Revelations) one more time before the mini hiatus. Bright side is that you'll get more stuff from me soon. Now let's not keep you waiting any longer...here it is...the new chapter...I also made it really long to make up for the soon-to-be lack of updates.**

**Thanks to anonymous reviewers: Elise, april, Please write more!, Megan, vesiher, and Alejandra.**

It was one of those days, Jane could already tell. He hadn't moved from the bed yet - hadn't pulled himself out from under the warm body blanketing him but he just knew it was going to be one of those why-did-I-bother days. It might have been because of the dull ache behind his eyes as soon as he forced them to open, or perhaps it was because he felt numb in places that shouldn't feel numb. His wife had fallen asleep on his chest, her thighs straddling his hips and he didn't have the heart to move her. Despite the protest in his limbs, he'd held her close through the night, running his hands along her cloth covered back.

He still couldn't move her, she looked too at ease and even with the numbness of his legs, he didn't want to disrupt what little rest she was managing. It bothered him that Lisbon hadn't been sleeping, there were dark circles under her eyes to prove it and if it were up to him then he'd call in for her but he knew she wouldn't appreciate that. She was worrying too much, scared and it was his fault. A week after having sex and she was growing more and more anxious by the day. It didn't matter how many times he told her that it'd be okay or that she'd make a great mom, she was only getting worse.

He'd coaxed her into sleep after being awake a full forty-eight hours by making her lie down and listen to his heart softly beating. He might have added some melodic spoken words to make sure she relaxed but he wouldn't say that he'd hypnotized her besides this was for her own good. The only bad thing would be that it had only been four hours ago when he finally accomplished the task and the alarm would blare in another forty minutes. She was definitely out, and he definitely couldn't feel his legs.

The poor woman worried too much but on that same note, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't just as nervous about the whole thing. He wanted more kids, he loved kids but this was kinda soon and he didn't want it if she wasn't comfortable with the idea. He wasn't unaffected by the whole thing, it tugged at his insides just as it did hers but he knew that whatever happened they could work through it. A baby was something to be cherished and loved whether it was planned or not.

He could almost imagine a family with her, she seemed like the type to want the average two to three kids running around. She was right though, they really weren't ready and he had no idea why he'd even stopped to ask such a thing instead of just using his brain. If she was indeed pregnant then they'd just have to get ready which wouldn't take much on his part. He managed to sort through a lot of his demons while lying on his couch in the bullpen but he knew she was struggling. He only had that problem with a few things and mostly they revolved around her insecurities. He could tell that the whole 'having children' thing had been bothering her for awhile and it wasn't the normal nerves people got when bringing the subject up. Something really truly tortured her and he'd give anything for her to just tell him.

He wasn't the poster boy for communicating his feelings and such but the woman pressing him into the mattress and pushing uncomfortably against his bladder was the queen of avoidance and the only reason he didn't pester her about this was because he could tell it really bothered her. He wouldn't say that he wasn't anxious about the whole thing as well but he was. The thought of being a father again left a tightness in his chest that made him evaluate a few things from his past. He'd definitely do more to be around if they brought a baby into the world. One of his biggest regrets was not always being there when his late wife and daughter had needed him. He wouldn't fail Lisbon the same way. Their marriage was hard and complicated but he'd always do his best.

He knew that their relationship wouldn't ever be all ponies and rainbows but he didn't care. He loved her and that was enough. Letting out a deep breath, he brushed a palm over her messy ponytail and ignored the screaming from his bladder. He didn't want to move her just yet, a few more minutes wouldn't hurt. He couldn't say that he wasn't scared but he could say that he didn't regret taking such a huge step with her.

Things between them felt easier, less strained since they'd made love and he was happy about that. Plus in just a weeks time, he'd learned what she liked in bed and what she didn't. They were getting to know each other better.

Unable to resist any longer, he let his fingers dip beneath the hem of her tank top to caress the warm skin of her back. She hummed in appreciation at the touch and seemed to try to press herself impossibly closer. As much as he hated the thought of moving her, he had to. As gently as he could, he rolled her to the side, holding her close the entire time and only scooting away to see if he'd accidentally woken her. He was rewarded by the sight of her eyes still closed and her lips slightly parted. His poor exhausted wife who worried way too much for her own good but then if she didn't, she wouldn't be Teresa Lisbon.

As quietly as possible, he sat up and waited several long moments until he could feel the pins and needles stabbing through his legs. Oh how he hated the sensation of blood flow being restored. He knew he could stand without falling and with a soft glance over his shoulder, he pushed himself up. She didn't stir, not even a wiggle. Stretching his arms over his head, he figured he could manage a shower to let her rest. He turned off the alarm as well, knowing he could give a few extra minutes and they'd make it on time. The woman set her alarm way too early.

If he was awake in bed then he'd no doubt end up waking her even if it was unintentional. He could let her get her sleep by busying himself with something other than staring at the ceiling and stealing soft touches.

It wasn't until he was under the hot spray of the water that he let himself think of how he felt about everything. Whenever Lisbon was in sight, he was constantly worrying about her reaction to things and never paid much attention to his own but lathering the soap into his skin gave him the opportunity to really consider the last week.

He wouldn't be put at ease until she was - that's the conclusion he came to after just seconds. If she was worried about something then he automatically picked up on that and carried half the weight. Its just who he was in their relationship. Its how he operated. No they weren't ready for something as big as a baby but he knew they'd be able to handle it. The thought still left him slightly terrified but he couldn't let Lisbon know that, if she knew then she'd only worry more and that is something he wouldn't let happen. She was already losing sleep over the matter.

Jane wasn't quite sure how long he'd been standing under the spray, rinsing the front of his body. He knew he'd been so submersed in thoughts that he'd actually been startled by the feel of arms wrapping around him from behind, slippery wet hands resting on his stomach as he felt a face press between his shoulder blades. He loved whenever she was the one to initiate contact, it made everything more real.

Gently grabbing her hands, he tugged them from his stomach and turned around to face her but she just buried herself against him and hummed in content. A low chuckle fell from his lips as he brought his hands up to loosen the ponytail she hadn't bothered to take out. It was obvious that she was still half asleep which amused him. She hadn't managed to be fully submerged beneath the spray which made it less difficult to release her hair from the band. She didn't move.

"Teresa, you okay?"

"Mm."

"That's not really a coherent answer." After tossing the hair tie up and over the shower curtain, he let one arm pull her closer while the other smoothed through the tangles.

"Mm."

"Sleepy?"

"Mhm." She was always more touchy, cuddly when she was tired. He'd learned that rather quickly and he didn't mind so much. Except he couldn't finish his shower if she continued to do so and the position was quite stimulating for him. This was the first time since they'd slept together that she was joining him for a shower and to feel her pressed against him, bare of everything and knowing how it felt to be consumed by that made it hard for him to stay clear headed. The woman was too potent for her own good and she didn't even know it. She hadn't even moved a muscle, still leaning into him, her face turned into his chest and hands splayed over his back.

"Why didn't you stay in bed?"

"Mm."

"That's the only answer I'm going to get isn't it?"

"Mm." Pressing a kiss to her head, he walked them backwards until the droplets of water pelting from the shower head engulfed them both. She shook a little at the initial shock of it and then relaxed again as the steaming liquid eased muscles. He felt her slump in his arms and wondered what had woke her. She'd been sleeping good.

When she turned her face up towards him, he noticed that she kept her eyes closed and still didn't bother to let him go. It wasn't like her to be quite this - he didn't want to use the word clingy because he'd never associate that word with Lisbon. He wasn't sure what he'd call it but it wasn't normal behavior from her. He knew she was exhausted which is why he couldn't figure out why she'd left the bed in the first place but even when she was tired, she didn't act that way.

"You can't sleep in the shower Mrs. Jane." Another sound fell from her lips but it was more of a disgruntled, disapproving groan that signaled that was exactly what she wanted to do. "Come on, what's wrong? Why aren't you still sleeping?"

He prodded her gently in the ribs until she grumbled against him but still her hold didn't loosen. It took several more seconds but she finally sighed and answered him with more than just a grunt.

"Stupid bad dream." The words were muffled, spoken quietly and almost drowned out by the water but he heard them and kicked himself for not even thinking of that. She _had_ clung to him before and it'd been right after a nightmare. It struck him as ironic that they'd ended up in the shower after that one as well.

Forgetting all about finishing scrubbing himself, he held her under the spray and caressed up and down her water slicked back. He knew all about how dreadful nightmares could be. He had them too and he wasn't going to push her away when he'd found himself wanting exactly the same thing sometimes after he woke. Even the strongest of people could use a little human contact after a bad dream.

"Do you wanna tell me 'bout it?"

"Same as before." Repetitive nightmares, occurring when she was stressed and dealing with her past and present. He remembered everything she'd told him before. How she'd failed to protect him and her brother as well her father. He hadn't thought it'd plague her again since that'd been not too long after he'd fallen off a roof and in her dream he'd done just that but hadn't survived. He figured she'd be over that.

"The exact same, really?"

"No, different just the same - kept switching between past and present." He almost asked for details but realized she didn't want to talk just yet and settled for pressing a kiss to her temple instead.

"I..."

"Shh."

"Ter...."

"Shh, listen for a second." Obeying as she pulled her head up to listen, he chose to keep quiet. She obviously thought she heard something and then faintly, in the distance so did he. "Someone's knocking."

It was that sound that pulled her from his arms, he caught her hand before she could step out and gave her a soft peck on the lips. It was chaste but hopefully comforting. He wanted to do more, she looked gorgeous with the water droplets sticking to her skin, leaving trails as her hair plastered itself to her head but he knew if she needed more she would've made a move to show him that. She hadn't.

"Finish your shower Patrick." With those words she was gone, pulling a towel from the counter and hurriedly drying. With a sigh, he went back to what he'd been doing when she'd joined him - reaching for his shampoo. He figured her nightmares were stress induced and vowed to work harder to get her to relax but for the moment there wasn't anything he could do. He still had his own to deal with occasionally but he always managed to somehow keep from waking her.

* * *

Waking without a warm body next to her had been a little odd for Lisbon. She generally always woke to Jane staring down at her and the mornings she managed to open her eyes first, she didn't move away from him. It made it worse that she'd been shaking from the terrors of a bad dream. As soon as she'd realized where Jane was at, she had jumped from the bed and stumbled her way into the bathroom. It hadn't even occurred to her that they hadn't showered together since the last time she'd had a nightmare. She hadn't given it any thought whatsoever, just peeled off her pajamas and climbed in.

Thinking it over as she pulled her robe on and headed for the door, she realized how clingy she must have seemed. With a groan, she berated herself for feeling the need to find comfort from him when she was perfectly capable of dealing with it on her own. After all, she'd done fine for years. It was kinda nice though to have someone and with all the worries bouncing around in her head, she'd felt as though she needed him. Not in a sexual way, just an emotional one. Was that normal? Was she supposed to feel like that around her husband?

She didn't really know, she'd never been married before but she pushed the thoughts aside, running her hands through her roughly towel dried hair and then opening the door. The person in front of her was not who she expected, though she hadn't really expected anyone but still her mouth dropped slightly.

"Tommy?" Shocked to see her younger brother, Lisbon blinked a few times just to make sure she wasn't seeing things in the early morning sun. They hadn't seen each other in a long while, there was some bad blood running but she wanted to fix it. She wanted everything between all of them patched up. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to meet my sister's husband." Her face paled at his words. She hadn't called him yet. In fact that'd been in her plans for her weekend so who told? Pulling the robe tighter around herself, she quickly ushered him inside.

"How'd you..."

"So it's true?" Giving a little shrug, she nodded and let her gaze catch on the picture frame behind her brother. "I don't even deserve to know that my sister got married? Look, I know that you're mad at me but..."

"I'm not mad at you Tommy. I didn't tell anyone."

"You told Jon apparently. He called to talk about things and a Patrick Jane came up - care to explain sis?"

"Not really and I didn't tell Jon, well I did but only because he asked me to babysit Jojo." She was really hoping to get out of talking. For some reason it'd been easier telling Jon-Jon. She couldn't seem to shake the feeling that this time things wouldn't go so well.

"I googled him." Just by the look on Tommy's face she could see that he didn't approve. Just what she needed to start the day, she was tired and cranky and had work in an hour and a half. She did not want to do this. She did not want some protective mumbo jumbo crap from her little brother. She was the oldest and a grown woman for goodness sake.

"Fine, we never dated and then out of the blue he proposes, I say yes, and three days later I'm married to the man. There, satisfied?"

"Have you lost your mind?"

"I'm sure I'm well on my way." Rubbing her temples in hopes to relieve some of the pressure, Lisbon stifled a yawn and resisted the urge to just crawl back in bed. "I have to be at work soon. Tommy, I love you, I do but this really isn't your business. I'm sorry I didn't tell you yet but I'd planned to call this weekend."

"How long have you been married?"

"Almost two months, like I said we'd never even been on a date so things are just starting to make sense. You really came all the way here just to ask if I was married or not?" An almost sheepish look took over the man's features and she realized that wasn't all he'd come for. With a sigh, she stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I've missed you."

He hugged her back just as tightly and smiled when she stepped away. Lisbon could see that he still wasn't approving but it didn't really matter to her. She loved Patrick Jane and there was nothing anyone could say or do to convince her to divorce the man. She knew him, knew of his past and yet she wouldn't give him up.

Standing awkwardly in just her robe, she took in her brother's features like someone who hadn't seen him in a while. She hadn't, it'd been a long while and he looked different. With a sigh, she dropped her gaze and ran her thumb over her bare ring finger. The rings were still in the bathroom, she'd forgotten and it felt weird without them. The silence had settled a little uncomfortably but he was her sibling and that eased it just a little.

"So, can I meet..."

"Hey Teresa, have you seen my after sha...oh uh, hello." Whipping around to see Jane pause on the last two stairs, Lisbon closed her eyes for a second and willed her headache to go away. She didn't want this. She did not want to deal with all of this at the moment. Of course Jane being Jane practically skipped - she almost laughed at the mental image of him skipping through daisies - over to them, already dressed and smelling clean.

The only thing this saved her from was telling Jane that she'd hid his smelly after shave somewhere he'd never find it. She didn't like the stuff. Although for the time being, she almost wished that she hadn't taken it. If she'd left it on the bathroom counter then he wouldn't have come down the stairs asking about it and she wouldn't be standing between two men in nothing but a robe. One her husband and one her brother - this just screamed possibilities and none of them lessened the pounding in her head.

"Let's get this over with..." Lisbon knew she was being grumpy but she didn't care. Simultaneously both men spoke the same words which creeped her out a bit.

"Someone's cranky." Two words that she expected to hear but not from both of them at the same time.

"That's just weird. Patrick meet Tommy and yeah." Gesturing between the two she assumed they got the message. It wasn't as comfortable as it'd been with Jon, more hesitant and when Jane outstretched his hand, Tommy took the opportunity to study the man before giving it a firm shake.

"So, what made you ask my sister to marry you?"

"Tommy!"

"No, it's okay Teresa." She knew he could hold his own but that didn't take away her frustrations with her brother for asking something like that. "Being in love with her seemed like a good enough reason."

It was the delivery of the statement that had her internally groaning. He seemed nonchalant about it, even shrugging a shoulder and she knew that her brother wouldn't buy it. Even though it was true, he wasn't going to believe it because he didn't really know Jane - not like she did. Just as she suspected there was doubt lingering in his eyes as he stared at the two of them.

"You came at a bad time really, I need to finish my shower - we have work. Are we done playing twenty questions?" Despite her attitude, she wasn't mad at her brother, just slightly irked. She wanted to crawl back in bed and refuse to move for the next two days but she had a job that couldn't be put on hold.

Arms crossed over her chest, shoulders tensed - she was ready for a confrontation but when Jane placed his hand on the small of her back and gave her a look that asked her to calm it down, she relaxed a little. Jane knew, she could tell that he knew she wasn't angry. She was tired, filled with anxiety over the whole maybe baby thing and the last thing she needed was to add to that.

"M'sorry Tommy, I'm just...in a bad mood."

"It's okay, you have work." It tugged at her heart when she thought of how little she really saw of her brothers; how little any of them contacted each other. She wanted to change that but she didn't know how. She was big sis and yet she wasn't sure how to fix what family she had left.

One thing was for certain, she was going to start calling them more often. She'd do anything for her brothers, she'd die to protect them at all costs and she felt as though they probably didn't realize that. Or if they did, she didn't know. She wasn't about to just let Tommy walk away without showing him a little of the love she had for him. As soon as he bid them a farewell, she was pulling him in for another hug. It didn't matter that he didn't approve of her marriage to Patrick Jane or that he'd shown up out of nowhere just to question her over it. It didn't matter that some things in the past haunted them, it was the past and she was willing to put it behind them.

She whispered something akin to that in his ear, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before promising to call. She really had planned to call over the weekend. She wasn't going to keep her marriage a secret forever, she just hadn't quite been ready for the disapproval. Even though she was the oldest, it still mattered to her when her younger brothers got that look in their eye. The one that proved they were disappointed in her. It bothered her, left an uncomfortable twisting sensation in her chest. She could feel it before he ever made it out the door and knew it wouldn't ease for awhile.

Great, just something to add to the headache she was already sporting and the constant paranoia that kept her stressing over something that was a fifty/fifty chance. As soon as the door was firmly shut, she dropped her head into her hands and groaned.

"He doesn't like me."

"You think?" It wasn't the words that had her scoffing it was the tone he used. It was as if it shocked Jane that her brother didn't really care for him.

"Well Jon likes me."

"Can we just not talk about my brothers?"

"Maybe you should call in sick. You don't look so good and even if you did, you're horribly grumpy." Truth be told, she didn't feel so good. It felt like her head was starting to spin causing her to stumble a little when she tried to head back to the stairs. Jane caught her, steadying her with an arm around her waist but she pushed him away and muttered that she'd be fine. She would, she just needed a shower and sleep. It was just too bad that sleep wasn't possible.

Perhaps keeping herself awake for two days hadn't been such a grand plan. She just didn't want to sleep, she'd been too worried to try but that's all she wanted to do by this point. With her career she didn't get the recommended amount of hours anyway so she'd been sleep deprived before her all nighters that had absolutely nothing to do with the job. Jane was a trooper though, constantly forcing her to get back in bed and such. Complaining about her tossing until finally he'd given up all other tactics and pulled her to rest on top of him.

She couldn't help that she'd been restless, it was how she dealt with things but he'd been worried and she couldn't blame him. She worried about him when he had bad spells of insomnia, she supposed that meant he was allowed to do the same. Something told her she'd be crashing early for the night.

The apartment was too bright, way too much light pouring in and worsening her headache. She thought that maybe she'd just close her eyes for a second but it made her loose her footing on the stairs and when she let them fly back open to catch herself on the wall, she wondered why it looked as though she had two staircases.

The dizzy spell passed and she forced herself to try again only to slap at Jane's hands when he rushed to her side. Men. Why did they insist on always trying to help when really they were just in the way?

"That's it, you're not going to work."

"The hell I'm not. I'm fine, I just need a shower and something for this damn headache." She wasn't exactly pleased and he was pushing it. She was going because there was nothing wrong with her and she was the boss. Besides, she knew that if she laid around the house all day then she'd think about the nightmare and she just wanted to forget it.

"Teresa..."

"Don't _'Teresa'_ me, I'm a grown woman and if I say I'm going to work then I'm going. I'm not sick or dying." He followed like a lost puppy as she finally made it into the bathroom. She hoped there was some hot water left.

"You're exhausted and stressed. Just as bad as being sick, in fact it can lead to that." That was the last straw. She hadn't been mad at him, still wasn't but she was so frustrated and confused. She didn't understand how he could stand there so calm after everything. She didn't know how he could act so unaffected by the fact that there could be a baby growing inside of her or that her brother was disappointed in her. She just didn't know and his words made her turn on him. She lashed out, she was so tired of being the only one who seemed worried at all.

"How can you not be? How can you stand there and act so calm when our lives could be drastically altered in a few weeks by what shows up on a plastic stick?"

"You think I'm not worried?"

"I don't know. I haven't exactly had a clear enough head to try and figure it out." His hands were soft and warm when they reached up to caress the sides of her neck - his thumbs brushing along her jaw. She was mad at herself for getting caught by his stare, those eyes that could render her incapable of movement in moments like the one they were in. She wanted to be livid with him for acting so unaffected all the time but his voice came out too soft for that to be possible.

"I'm scared out of my wits. I know we're not ready for something this big but I also know that if those are the cards we're dealt then we can do it. I'm just as worried about this as you are, I thought I'd already made that clear."

"I don't know, sometimes I know what you're feeling and sometimes I don't."

"Well I am but I'm trying to be here for you." Lisbon let her eyes slip shut as a sight floated from her lips. She didn't really want him playing that role, she just wanted him to let her know that she wasn't alone which is what she'd been feeling. She'd felt as though she was the only one even thinking of what the consequences of their actions could be.

Taking in a deep breath, she let herself open her eyes and look up at him ready to share her personal thing for the day. Inching closer, she let her hands rest against the fabric of his vest as he continued to search her face for a clue as to what she was about to say.

"I don't want you to be my supportive husband right now, Patrick. I don't want you to be here _for _me, I want you to be here _with _me. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it does." A tiny smile tilted her lips. That's all she wanted, she wanted him to let her know she wasn't the only one feeling as though their world could crumble. It wouldn't be the end of the world and she knew he was right, they'd manage. She wasn't saying that she didn't want it to eventually happen or that she'd hate it if it did. "Why don't you climb in the shower while I make you something to eat - I'll even find the Tylenol for your headache."

His lips pressed against her forehead and she found herself agreeing.

"I'm still going to work." Lisbon could already tell that it was just going to be one of those days.

**a/n: AGAIN, there will be fewer chapters over the next month as I'm doing the Summer gift exchange on jello-forever so please don't think I'm forgetting my stories. I will get back to them full time as soon as it's over. :D Promise. By the way there's only one more chapter until the one where Lisbon takes a pregnancy test. **

**Next Chapter: _She noticed the stares from her team and wondered why their eyes followed her. Jane's didn't but then she figured maybe he had something to do with it. Her heart rate increased at the thought of them finding out the secrets she'd worked hard to keep them from learning - like the way she hadn't ever dated the man she married. Maybe she was just paranoid._**

_**"Oh, Lisbon!" She'd almost made a clean break to her office, she could always trust Jane to screw that up even with his eyes closed. Some days she really did want to burn that couch.**_

_**"What?"**_

_**"We're out of milk. I was thinking maybe a store run tonight?" Shaking her head, she turned back on the path that led to her domain of quiet. She should learn to just keep walking. And to think she'd thought he might have had something useful to tell her about the case. **_


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mentalist but I do have a shiny bracelet. I'm good.**

**A/N: I've got chapters for all my other stories in the works now. They should be up soon. I'm going to try updating everything at least once every two weeks while still working on the four stories I'm doing for the Summer gift exchange but again, no promises. I know, I know, I'm nuts. Just think of the four new stories you'll all get to read from me soon though. :D Now onto this new chapter...because like I've stated so many times while writing this - it's so easy to type which explains why it gets more updates. I feel that I should say...I wrote chapter 30 of this today as well and even at that point the story is nowhere near over...I'm hoping I don't bore everyone.**

**Seriously guys if the long chapters bore you just let me know, I can always cut things out. This is pretty much a filler chapter leading into the next one where we find out if she's actually pregnant or not. Feel free to make guesses.**

There was something bothering Jane. Lisbon could tell that something wasn't right but he was being stubborn. She couldn't really say anything considering she wasn't always an open book with her feelings and now she knew how he felt when she was purposefully denying the issue existed. Suddenly she was thinking that opening up more might be a good thing instead of having to pick fights to let herself feel angry enough not to care how he reacted. She was always scared of what he'd say if she just came out and told him what was bothering her, what she was feeling and now she wondered if that's what he was worrying about too. Maybe he was just scared.

She couldn't actually confront him, they were working and she'd promised herself that nothing from her personal life would cross into her professional. It's how she had managed to compartmentalize things up until this point and she wasn't about to give that up. She'd already asked him about the strange behavior before they even made it to the shower early that morning and he'd simply kissed her softly and told her not to worry about it. Yeah, because that was possible. He knew she was a worry prone woman so why'd he even bothered trying to ease her mind with such a statement was beyond her. It never worked, she didn't stop stressing just because he told her to. She probably stressed more in the past two months than in the past two years.

Two months and ten days and she still had the rings on her finger, though most of the time she shoved them in her pocket while working and prayed she didn't lose them. Very few people knew of her marriage, just the team. Hightower knew she was now married but Lisbon hadn't divulged the information of whom the man was, nor did she plan to. As for everyone else - including the higher ups - no one knew. She wasn't ashamed necessarily, just private and she didn't think it was anyones business. Of course if they read her file then they'd see her marital status had been changed but again since she'd kept her last name, only three others knew which man to whom she was married. If things kept going the way they were then she knew it wouldn't be hard to keep it a secret, unless Jane had other plans.

Maybe that's what was bothering him, the fact that - unless behind the locked doors of her office - they couldn't allow themselves to slip up. That stupid underwear comment he'd made a few weeks ago had been dangerous and quite reckless but she expected nothing less from the man. That was something else they needed to work on. She hadn't told him that while her boss knew she was no longer single, she didn't know that the 'lucky guy' was Jane. Something told her he probably wouldn't be the happiest camper but when she'd asked him if she could deal with the work side of things on her own, he'd agreed and surely he knew that the reason she wanted to do it alone was so she didn't have to mention him. Or perhaps he didn't. Why was she all of a sudden feeling really guilty?

She was letting her personal life interfere just by letting herself think of it to the point of being unable to focus on the computer monitor she was staring at. The words kept blurring together and all she could think of was why Jane hadn't poked his head into her office yet. That and of course the impending doom of the whole fact that she needed to take a pregnancy test. It really irked her that every time she started feeling comfortable in their marriage something else was thrown their way. She was more irritable now that she realized she was late, although that could be due to stress. She really hoped it was.

She could not focus on anything, her brain wouldn't let her. She'd been more scatterbrained lately than she liked to admit and it wasn't something she seemed to be able to deal with on her own. It could potentially be a good idea to either tell Jane or someone. Really he was all she had.

Aggravated with herself, she let out a growl and started reciting the facts of the current case to help clear her head of everything but work. Victim: Jacob Coolidge, nineteen, stabbed. Case turned over to them because of jurisdiction issues but other than that, nothing really special about it. She knew Jane wasn't himself before they'd left the apartment but once she saw him be on his absolute best behavior while dealing with the family, she'd immediately come to the conclusion that whatever was bugging him was serious. There went her mind, wandering again. Case, case, she needed to worry about the case. They'd interviewed the family, received some names of friends the boy hung out with and such which she had Jane and Cho checking into. She'd needed a little break from her husband.

"I give up." There was just too much going on in her head. Without even thinking, she left her desk and headed for the bullpen. Part of her had always wondered something and she was about to put it to the test.

Ignoring the stares from Rigsby and Van Pelt, she flopped down on the sofa with a dramatic sigh. Her colleagues shot a glance at each other and then turned back to watch as she stretched out on the thing and let her head rest against the arm. She'd always wondered if the couch had some sort of ability to help with thinking or if stuff like that only worked with Jane. She paid no mind to her agents, just stared at the ceiling and let her thoughts drift. Maybe they were supposed to be scattered about in unrelated topics. Perhaps that was Jane's secret - not that she wanted to be like him.

"Huh, that stain does kinda look like Elvis." Lisbon didn't even realize she'd spoken the words out loud until she heard Rigsby snicker. It probably was a little odd - okay very odd - for her to be lounging on the couch in the bullpen but she just wanted to see if she could think better with a change of scenery and maybe a tiny part of her hoped that somehow lying on Jane's couch would help her understand what was bugging him. Sure it didn't make much sense but she was still willing to try.

"Uh Boss?" Van Pelt's tone had taken on that slightly terrified hitch that she seemed to get whenever she wanted to ask something that she wasn't sure would be appropriate. Turning her head to look towards the younger agent, Lisbon didn't bother to move.

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?"

"M'fine. Has Jane been...strange today?" She knew she wasn't the only one who would notice his behavior and as wrong as it was, she wanted to bat around some ideas as to why he was acting funny.

"Jane's always strange." With a smile, Lisbon could only agree. The man definitely was that. "But, he has been a little better behaved than usual."

"That's what I'm talking about. Has he said anything to either of you, a hint or anything about what's troubling him?"

"No, not to me." Damn, dead end. She'd been hoping for a little clue. Turning back to face the ceiling, she let out a sigh.

"Rigsby?"

"Me neither Boss." Muttering a 'thanks', she closed her eyes and tried to remember if she'd done something wrong. She knew that she had a tendancy to say things or do things that left them tense with each other but she couldn't remember anything. She'd been stressed lately but always felt a little better with him around and even opened up a bit so she didn't think it could be that. He'd even told her that he was worried too. Really, she just couldn't recall anything that would have him withdrawing. Wasn't she supposed to be the doubtful one in this marriage? If this was how he felt every time she withheld her insecurities from him and shied away, then she was tremendously sorry for putting him through it.

There were several long minutes of silence, and she'd almost drifted off to sleep before Van Pelt's tentative voice filled the air once again with yet another timid question that actually made Lisbon's heart clench.

"Wouldn't he tell you if something was wrong? I mean you're married..."

"He's Jane, Grace." Nobody said anything after that, probably due to the fact that she'd said it a lot softer and more vulnerable than she had ever intended. It was more than she'd thought she would ever share with the red head and she'd even resorted to using the woman's first name which she didn't do a whole lot. Lisbon wasn't about to divulge anything more about her complicated home life but for some reason she felt a little better after saying it aloud to someone other than her unconventional husband.

She might have to try it more often, after all Van Pelt kind of reminded her of herself when she was first starting out. However, she felt a little awkward knowing that Rigsby heard it too. She had technically broken her own rule of talking about personal matters, she knew that and she knew she'd just risked someone walking by and hearing the conversation - it somehow getting back to her boss. She'd wanted to throttle Jane for pretty much the same thing a few weeks ago and here she was, breaking her own strict rules. Technically though, she could blame Van Pelt for bringing it up.

Perhaps her idea of testing out the couch hadn't been a great one. She technically had a couch of her own back in her office but really she'd thought that maybe she'd feel closer to Jane somehow by being on the one he seemed to enjoy. Another ill-timed sigh fell from her lips just as the man in question and Cho waltzed in. She didn't even bother to look at him until he was leaning over her, curls a little more ruffled than before he'd left and his eyes seemed more tired. Neither one of them had been sleeping much with the worries plaguing them.

"Well hello. Kidnapping my couch?"

"No." Lisbon didn't waste any time, swiftly sitting up and planting her shoe-clad feet on the floor once again. She couldn't waste her day out in the bullpen and there was no way she'd share the couch with him. She'd end up forgetting where they were, fall into the comfortable home routine and then anyone who happened to glance at them would know about their relationship. "Just wondered if the genius was in the cushions."

"Are you doubting my abilities? And don't think I didn't catch that you technically just called me a genius."

"Depends, you got anything good for me?"

"Meh, not really." With a shake of her head she pushed up from the rather comfortable piece of furniture and watched as he took her place. As long as they were working she wouldn't ask why he wasn't himself. "Don't worry though Lisbon, I'm sure I'll figure it out. I just need a quick nap."

"Well come find me when you're done slacking off and you, Jane, are no genius." Spouting off a few things for her team to check into, Lisbon headed for the kitchen. A cup of coffee would do some good and she was getting a little hungry. Part of her had hoped that maybe Jane would bring her something but the other part had reprimanded her for even wanting to rely on a man for something as mundane as a meal.

She'd confront Jane later at home when it was just the two of them but for the time being, she'd be silent in her worries about him and about the fact that she could be carrying his child. No one needed to know about that and she certainly wasn't going to blurt it out. The emptiness of the kitchen made her feel safer to think. It didn't really make sense but she figured her thoughts couldn't be found out and picked apart if no one was around. Of course she hadn't felt that way when she'd made her way into the bullpen to stretch out on the worn sofa but she was allowed to change her mind every once in awhile.

Puttering about, she spent a little over twenty minutes getting a cup of coffee and finding something to munch on. Sadly, the pickings were slim and she finally just gave up. Realizing she shouldn't really spend her whole day scrounging around, she gathered her beverage and went for her haven. She could feel herself being watched with her lazy steps and immediately felt herself go on high alert.

She noticed the stares were from her team and wondered why their eyes followed her. Jane's didn't but then she figured maybe he had something to do with it. Her heart rate increased at the thought of them finding out the secrets she'd worked hard to keep them from learning - like the way she hadn't ever dated the man she married. Maybe she was just paranoid.

"Oh, Lisbon!" She'd almost made a clean break to her office, she could always trust Jane to screw that up even with his eyes closed. Some days she really did want to burn that couch.

"What?"

"We're out of milk. I was thinking maybe a store run tonight?" Shaking her head, she turned back on the path that led to her domain of quiet. She should learn to just keep walking. And to think she'd thought he might have had something useful to tell her about the case.

It wasn't until she was closing her office door behind her that she remembered they had an almost full gallon of milk in the fridge. She'd used it on her cereal. Great, this just added to her list of reasons to fret. Jane. Baby. Jane. Why did the world hate her so much? What had she done to make karma bit her in the ass like this? Jane, food, milk - she was confused by the milk thing. If he wanted to go to the store he didn't have to lie about the reason for needing to go. He'd been acting weird and she didn't like it one bit.

Taking a sip of the coffee, she situated herself at her desk once again and let her brow crease in thought. They needed to solve the case, she needed to know what was up with her husband and she needed to find out if she was pregnant or not. It was a lot, but it had to be done and soon. Especially the latter, she couldn't stand not knowing. It drove her insane.

Jane continued acting different than usual for the rest of the day, opting to stay on the couch. He didn't bug her or even go see her for one of their silly little afternoon chats that she'd grown used to. No arguments, nothing. The closest they'd come to banter had been the tiny conversation when he'd caught her on his couch. After that, he was silent and almost nonexistent. It was like he wasn't really there - like his mind was occupied elsewhere. All day, he stayed like that. Everyone noticed.

With struggling to find leads, it was kind of hard not to see that Jane wasn't himself. By the end of the day, Lisbon had had it. She wanted to know what was wrong, he looked - she wouldn't say sad - but upset over something. She would definitely start being more open with him after this. Knowing how it felt to be so out of loop and unaware of his feelings left her only coming up with more insecurities.

It was hours - the clock showing that it was definitely passed dark - before Lisbon made her way out of her office. It was time to call it a night. The case was at a stand still untill something else came up and there really wasn't much more they could do for the day. She was too tired to try and stay just a little bit longer - way too tired. It was to the point of almost tripping over her own feet once locking up her office for the night. Though that might have been because she was distracted. She found the man she was looking for sitting up on the couch. He gave her a little wave and with a wary smile, she stopped directly in front of him.

"Ready to go?" The question itself was pointless, she knew he was and yet it seemed to be the only words willing to leave her mouth. With a nod, he stood and placed a hand on the small of her back to lead her to the elevator. The walk was silent, the wait for the moving cubicle was silent and the ride down to ground level also was silent.

"Teresa..." It was the whisper that sent a shiver through her body as soon as they were buckled into her Mustang. There was no way she'd ever let him drive her baby so respectively she was behind the wheel and he was the passenger reaching for her hand just as she was about to start the engine. "I uh, I know that you..."

"That I what?"

"Your monthly friend is late." Her cheeks turned pink at his carefully phrased sentence. She'd been worried enough about that fact without his input but she knew he'd noticed.

"I know."

"Don't you think it's time to take a test?" Truth be told, she did but she was putting it off. Terrified of the results. Sure, she played it off as simply stress but not only was she late, she was ten days late.

"Is this what you meant by stopping to get milk?" At his nod, she dropped her eyes to her lap and let her fingers tangle with his. "Okay. Is this what's been bothering you all day?"

"Not exactly but don't worry, I'll be fine in the morning."

"Patrick, I know that I don't have any room to talk because I hardly tell you things unless you drag them out of me but I'd really like it if you would let me know why you've been so off today." She hadn't wanted to have such a conversation in her car in the parking lot of CBI HQ but she'd make do. "Please?"

"I'm fine. I promise, just a bit overwhelmed." With a slight frown, she opened her mouth to ask again but he caught her gaze and offered a small smile. "Truthfully, it didn't hit me until now that you really could be..."

The word 'pregnant' didn't leave his lips, he just sort of gestured to her midsection which had her biting back a smile. Always, people always pointed to the stomach and yet that's not even close to where a baby was this early in the game. The seriousness of the moment still lingered despite her thoughts and she couldn't decide whether or not she wanted to talk about it or if she just wanted to go buy the tests so he'd hush.

The feeling of being left out, the way she'd felt when he wouldn't open up came back with a force she hadn't known existed. It almost brought tears to her eyes and she knew she had to face it. There was no hiding when they were both scared over the same thing. He'd told her that it scared him just as much as it did her but she hadn't fully believed him. He was Jane - she used that as an excuse to a lot of things. When she saw him duck his head, she realized that he actually did have the same fears. Well, most of them, her biggest fear hadn't been voiced yet and she knew he didn't have that one.

"I guess we can stop by the drugstore." It was the best she could offer. She didn't know how else to comfort him, he was usually the one reassuring her about this situation.

"We'll be okay, Teresa." A tired chuckle left her parted lips, despite his feelings he was still trying to make her feel better. Such a strange, strange, lovable man.

**a/n: So not the greatest ever but I wanted to include a bit of the team and this is what became of it. The next chapter is already in the works and again feel free to guess whether she is or isn't. I'm kinda curious as to what everyone is thinking. I'm trying to be as deceivingly vague as possible. I'm also going to try and incorporate Cho, Van Pelt and Rigsby a bit more in random chapters. Eventually they're going to find out the secrets behind Jane and Lisbon's marriage.**

**Next: _His lips descended on hers, drawing a sigh from the emotional woman. She'd been pulling away from him the last several days, telling him that she wasn't in the mood and such but she was done resisting. Melting into the kiss, she dropped the pregnancy test and let her hands rest against his chest. They had about an hour before the alarm would break them apart and Lisbon wanted to spend it bare of clothing and pressed against the sometimes irritating man she loved._**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I have a work out machine called a Gazelle, but no Mentalist. *pout* **

**A/N: Yeah, I know quick update huh, I was attempting to update Temptation and this came out instead. I guess I didn't want to wait any longer to post this one. Here it is my friends, the chapter that you've been waiting for. Is she pregnant or is she not? Okay so a lot of you seem to think she is, read on to see if you're right or not. :D Oh and one more quirky thing I noticed...last chapter was the 19th and it raised the reviews to 463, Melt had 19 chapters and exactly 463 reviews. I found it cool and yes I know I'm a nerd.**

**M for a reason.**

It was dark, the sun hadn't even made an appearance but Lisbon was sitting on the edge of the bed regardless of the clock telling it her it was five in the morning. Sleep had been almost impossible, knowing that there was a box of pregnancy tests sitting on her bathroom counter had kept her awake. Jane had just drifted off an hour ago and she was still wide eyed, her heart still pounding at the idea of finding out if there was a baby growing inside of her or not. Just a few more minutes of preparation and she'd force herself to take a test. Throughout her entire life, she'd never wanted to 'fail' a test but this experience had her hoping for a negative. She wanted kids but not at the moment, and she was fine if it never happened. Just because she wanted them didn't mean that she had to have them.

Sucking in a deep breath, she pushed herself off the mattress and headed for the bathroom. No time like the present. She'd wanted to do it as soon as possible after she bought them and the box said it was best to wait till early morning. She considered five in the am to be early morning. There was a little nagging in the back of her skull telling her to wake Jane, that he needed to be awake for this but she ignored it. She wanted to do it alone - it was less awkward that way and she'd had enough awkwardness since the night before when they were at the drugstore.

Everyone there had a kid with them, the three other customers either had a baby, a toddler or a child and Lisbon thought it was some cruel joke. It didn't help that her husband had insisted on going in too and the old woman at the checkout had to comment that they'd make cute little ones - she'd even wished them the best and hoped it was a little girl. Needless to say, embarrassed hadn't even covered what Lisbon had felt while walking back out to the car.

Switching on the light, she padded into the bathroom and reveled at the feel of the cool linoleum beneath her bare feet. For a few seconds after she closed the door, the only thing she could do was stare at the box. Her hands didn't want to tear it open, she just stared. She knew that she had it better than a lot of women who end up pregnant. There was a husband in the picture and her job paid well enough to support a child but that wasn't what she was afraid of. Her fears were deeper, darker. There were several factors playing into why this would be a terrible time to bring a baby into the world but she knew she'd always be terrified of one very personal thing which made her question if she'd ever actually be ready to have children.

Unable to take it any longer, she reached for the box and ripped at the top. Her hands were shaking by the time she managed to pull one of the tests free, she'd bought the more expensive digital kind just for convenience. She liked the thought of being able to read the words 'pregnant' or 'not pregnant' instead of going by a little lines. It made her feel a little better to read the directions, though she knew the gist of it. She was dreading the next several minutes.

With a groan, she gave up putting it off and as closely as possible, followed all of the directions. She'd never thought she'd actually be peeing on a stick but life had a funny twisted sense of humor that way she supposed. The results were only supposed to take three minutes but after just three seconds which consisted of washing her hands, she was sitting the test on the counter and moving to the edge of the tub. She couldn't stare at it or she'd never make it through the minutes. It was nerve wracking enough, she'd resorted to chewing on her thumbnail which was a habit she'd kicked in highschool. Three minutes, surely she could handle it.

Twenty eight seconds later, she was pacing and mumbling to herself about 'if' there was a baby then she'd need to be more careful on the job and she'd need to start eating healthier, taking prenatal vitamins and such. She'd do everything in her power to make sure the little one was healthy. Just a few seconds after a minute, there was a light knock on the door and she about jumped right out of her skin.

"Teresa, you okay?"

"Y-yeah, you can come in." The knob turned and she was once again perched on the edge of the bathtub. She couldn't seem to stay still. The first things she noticed were wild curls and tired eyes as Jane poked his head in, looking around to see what was going on. If there was a baby, she hoped he or she had their daddy's curls.

She'd convinced herself that she could do this alone, that she didn't want him near until she knew the results but she wasn't so sure anymore. She'd invited him in because she kind of wanted someone to keep her sane during the minutes of waiting. She'd never realized how long a minute truly was until right then. "I took a test, just waiting."

Her voice was shaky, tears already pricking the corners of her eyes as Jane slowly made his way into the room. He was nodding, but he didn't say anything, just gestured for her to scoot a bit so he could sit next to her. The heat of his body was welcomed, the t-shirt she was wearing left her slightly chilly. Leaning into him, Lisbon did her best to keep her emotions in check as he wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her into his side.

"How long do we have to wait?"

"Roughly another minute." There was a nervousness in his tone and an unreadable expression on his face. "Patrick, if I am...pregnant, I will love our baby. I know that I haven't exactly been open to talking about kids but I need you to know that."

A few tears slipped out when he leaned to press a lingering kiss to her forehead. With a sniffle, she offered him a smile and braced herself. She was hoping that she wasn't so she could have more time to get more comfortable with the whole thing before they chose to have a child together but she was actually expecting the test to say 'pregnant'. She was preparing herself to read that single life changing word.

"I have no doubt about that." A comfortable silence settled, Lisbon leaning further into him with her head falling to rest against his shoulder as he rubbed her back in gentle strokes. They stayed like that until she knew it was time and then rather slowly, she pulled away. It took her a few deep breaths before she made her way to the counter and a few more before she was brave enough to look.

Trembling fingers held the plastic, frantic eyes reading over and over to let it sink in. Tears flowed down her cheeks, her lip quivering and Jane was immediately at her side and whispering comforting words. She couldn't form the words to tell him the result so she moved her wrist around so he could see and buried her face against his chest with a small smile tugging her lips. Not pregnant. The worry she'd been feeling eased, the emotion overwhelmed her and her exhaustion only made it worse - hence, the hot tears spilling from her eyes. She was relieved, and yet there was another emotion trying to worm its way in and it took her a few seconds to realize what it was and once she did, she wanted it gone; disappointment. She didn't know where it came from but she pushed it to the back of her mind.

Jane held her tighter, wrapping both arms around her and tugging her towards him. She went willingly, loving how it felt to be wrapped up in him. She knew she could whoop his ass in a fight but for some reason he seemed so much stronger when he held her. Still clutching the plastic in her hand, she momentarily pulled back to stare up at him - show him that she was smiling and as soon as she did, she was stuck. His eyes held her hostage, soft and hungry, darkening by the second. One look and she felt her body responding, sending a pleasurable jolt between her thighs. He brought a hand up to wipe at her cheeks while whispering an 'I love you'.

"Let's go back to bed, Patrick." The innuendo wasn't lost on him, she saw the faint twitch in his jaw and felt his reaction pressing into her. With the baby thing weighing on their minds, they hadn't exactly been the most intimate couple - mostly her doing - and she was suddenly feeling the effects of the suppressed hunger and need coursing through her veins. That was as close to her initiating anything sexual as she'd ever come - well besides the morning she'd woke him with full intent to pleasure him and he'd turned the tables.

Her gaze flickered down to his mouth, he wasn't saying anything but he didn't need to. She wanted to give in to the urge to kiss him but she still got that nervousness in her stomach whenever she even thought of making the first move. Besides, she knew he'd do it, she knew that the crazy over load of emotions they'd both felt in the last several minutes would push them over the wall that'd been between them. She was right, she knew she was. His lips descended on hers, drawing a sigh from the emotional woman. She'd been pulling away from him the last several days, telling him that she wasn't in the mood and such but she was done resisting. Melting into the kiss, she dropped the pregnancy test and let her hands rest against his chest. They had about an hour before the alarm would break them apart and Lisbon wanted to spend it bare of clothing and pressed against the sometimes irritating man she loved.

A low rumble sounded from his chest as she pushed her hips against his, raw need taking over her actions and making her lips move faster with his. She didn't care for the slow torture, she just wanted him. It had everything to do with what she was feeling but that wasn't going to make her stop, the relief and disappointment flooding her body mixed pleasantly with love and lust. A powerful cocktail making her brave enough to let her tongue brush across his bottom lip. She hated that she was still nervous with him but it was also kind of exciting at the same time, to test his reactions and revel in the way he moaned and let her have the access she craved. Perhaps it wasn't the most appropriate time to be throwing herself at him but she just wasn't sure how to feel about the results yet and this was how she took her mind off of it.

It was hard to pull herself away from him considering his hands were pressed tightly against her back and hip but she managed. With a small smile, she headed for the bedroom and knew he'd follow. She wasn't disappointed, he caught her hand before she made it to the bed, turning her around and capturing her lips for a short, soft caress.

"Teresa, do you really think now is the best time to..."

"I need you." The urgency in Lisbon's tone startled them both. She sounded desperate and really that's exactly how she felt. She wasn't sure of anything really except that she was brimming with want and the sexual tension between them had grown to that almost uncomfortable point again. She didn't take back her words, even though they were blurted out unexpectedly nor did she add a 'please' to the end. There was a brief moment she ducked her head but before she could let herself become embarrassed she just thought of how it wasn't taboo to say such things to him. Even after two months, sometimes she had to remind herself that she actually could kiss and touch him if she wanted.

After wiping the last tears from her face, she pulled her shirt over her head and stripped off her underwear. Standing in front of him nude stole the air from her lungs but he got the hint rather quickly and shed the cloth covering him as well. There wasn't enough time for extended teasing, slow removal of clothes and this worked just as well. She didn't care and it was easy to see it didn't matter to him.

The next thing she felt were his lips on her jaw, sucking and nipping down to her neck. Her eyes closed instantly, a small gasp of approval escaping when his hands slid over the expanse of her back, slipping down her spine. It wasn't hard for Lisbon to lose herself in the sensation. His touch was soft yet firm and when they fell back on the bed in a heap of limbs, he never faltered. The heat pulsing between her thighs intensified with each and every brush of his fingers, every second that passed with his arousal digging into her hip. She didn't feel like wasting time - she wasn't in the mood for anything other than giving into the raw emotions spreading through her body like wildfire. She just wanted the sinking feeling in her chest gone. She was supposed to be happy.

Straddling his hips, she let go of all the stupid little insecurities she had in the bedroom with him and took control. She had to stop thinking of it as being sex with Patrick Jane and start thinking of it as sex with her husband. It was still a little hard at times but as soon as she was reaching for the box kept in the nightstand drawer, she felt as though she was Teresa, Mrs. Jane and that made her forget everything that usually kept her from being on top. With other men, she'd always liked to be in control but he wasn't other men.

It wasn't until she was staring down at him, seeing his eyes hooded with desire and feeling his hands holding tightly to her hips that she realized she could get used to seeing him looking so disheveled and naked beneath her. With a deep breath, she lowered herself down on him and stilled for a few seconds to watch his reaction. She felt powerful, sexy, loved. He made her feel those things and bending down to kiss him, she let her body start to rock in a rhythm that was neither slow nor fast. Lips brushed, tongues tasted, teeth nipped and sighs were heard. Lost in the moment, the movement between them, Lisbon tangled one hand in his curls and anchored herself with the other.

The feeling in her chest wasn't going away, not even the feel of him moving inside of her was lessening the uncomfortable tightness. She wanted it gone. Breaking from his mouth, she found a particularly sensitive spot beneath his ear. Chests brushing with every move, she quickened the pace needing some kind of release - some kind of reassurance. His hands locked onto her, trying to slow things back down. She didn't understand. She didn't know why she felt the way she did when the result was the one she'd wanted.

"Sweetheart, slow down. We have time." His clenched words were nothing more than background noise to her but she should have known he wouldn't have it. As soon as she pushed herself off his chest, straightening her back to resort to something more frantic and rough, he was following. He slowed it back down, taking control by sitting up with her and wrapping his arms so tightly around her that she had no choice but to give in to his ways. She wanted to fight him but instead let her head fall against his shoulder as the burning in her belly grew with the slower, more gentle movements. She felt herself getting closer to the edge but it still seemed so far away. An uncomfortable knot was forming in her throat, the tiny hint of disappointment making itself known. Jane didn't stop, he whispered in her ear while rubbing his hands over all the right areas. It didn't take long.

A warmth tore through her unexpectedly taking her by surprise at the quickness at which her orgasm had approached, a strangled cry fell from her lips as she tensed in his hold. Seconds ago she'd thought release was too far and then she was nothing more than a limp form clutching him and giving in to the unwelcome feeling. Her shoulders shook gently as she let the lump in her throat and the tears stinging her eyes take over. It it hadn't been for the jump she felt in his muscles and the low moan, she wouldn't have known if he was satisfied or not. All she knew was that hot streams were trailing down her cheeks and she couldn't seem to get them to stop. It was from the release, the relief and the disappointment all rolled into one.

"Shhh, s'okay. I feel it too." It took her a few seconds to realize his thrusts had ended and he was simply rocking her back and forth, holding her head in place with a gentle hand on the back of her neck. He knew she was crying and in that moment, she could care less. "I feel it too. Even though we know we're not ready and that this is a good thing, there's still that little shred of disappointment because we'd let ourselves think of the alternative."

He was right, she didn't say anything but he was right. She'd let herself think of how things would change with a baby on the way and apparently so had he. Gripping him tighter, she kept her face pressed into him and jolted when she felt his cheek press against her temple - it was wet. Somewhat startled by the fact that he'd be so affected, she lifted her head to catch his gaze and found a watery warm smile. Taking a few deep breaths she calmed herself enough to form somewhat decent sentences without all the sniffling and hiccups.

"You feel it?"

"Of course. I also think we should put this children issue behind us once and for all so I'll make you a deal. We'll revisit the topic on our six month anniversary - if we're both comfortable with the idea then we'll try for a baby, sound okay?" A tiny part of her panicked at the thought of the six month anniversary because it wasn't so far away, they were close to three months already but with a shaky sigh, she nodded.

"I love you." She almost choked on the words but managed to get them out while nuzzling his cheek with her own. It wasn't that she hadn't said them before, it was just the knot in her throat made it difficult. With just one simple move their lips met in a slow and tender kiss. Brushing sweetly to coax away the wetness in her eyes. It conveyed everything both of them were feeling and to Lisbon it eased the tightness in her chest. She'd never thought she'd react the way she was. She'd expected to be relieved and happy but boy had she been wrong. Pulling away wasn't something she wanted to do but they needed to move.

"As badly as I want to stay in this position with you Teresa..." She knew what he was about to say and eased off of him before he could finish his sentence. Work was waiting, life went on and the clench in her heart would fade. It was for the best, she knew that but her emotions weren't convinced. There wasn't really a win in her situation. It was her fault anyway for letting herself imagine baby things before she knew for sure or not. Now she knew. Not pregnant and while it did ease the stress she'd been feeling, it didn't come without it's own added side effects.

The mattress shifted as Jane headed for the bathroom and Lisbon flopped back against the pillows with a deep sigh. Her eyes closed, her hand pressing against her forehead as the first signs of a headache started to sprout. Just another day of married life and the hurdles it threw their way. Despite feeling like crap and knowing she looked the part to match, she crawled out of bed and headed for her dresser. She wasn't pregnant, which was a good thing considering how fragile their marriage still was and she wasn't ready for a baby but she had gotten used to the possibility. It was for the best though, she wanted some time with just them before kids came up again. A little more than three months before they'd revisit the topic. The disappointment she felt made her question whether or not she'd be able to handle how strong it would be if she'd wanted a baby.

**a/n: Some of you guessed exactly where I was going with this. Hope you enjoyed and for those who wanted her to be pregnant...don't worry. This is a LONG story, so you can bet she's going to end up pregnant in it sometime.**

**Next: "I bought you something." Four words women generally liked hearing but when they came from the mouth of Patrick Jane, Lisbon could only speculate as to what all those four words could indicate. The huge grin on his face didn't ease her worries any.**


	21. Chapter 21

**********Disclaimer: Well ya see, I've decided not to keep you waiting long so I'll simply say that no, I don't own it. :P**

**********A/N: I just finished (like two days ago) a one shot for Summer Secret Santa that I think takes the cake for my favorite one shot I've EVER written. It's that good guys...well I think so. Hopefully so will my recipient. :D Now, back to this epic story that so far seems to be the only one I can type new chapters for while on my hiatus. Meh, I'm sure you don't mind if the others stay on hold for a bit longer. This story (I'm pretty sure) holds the highest number of reviews I've ever received so THANK YOU EVERYONE who made that possible. Also big thanks to anyone who reads, seeing as it also pulls the most readers and to everyone who alerts and favorites. Seriously thank you all. **

**Thanks to anonymous reviewers: Alejandra, April, vesiher, kat16, Elise, and Anna - I really appreciate the feedback.**

An aggravated sigh sounded from the bathroom and the only thing Jane could do was chuckle and finish buttoning his vest while staring at the woman hopping around with one shoe on, desperately trying to get the other shoved onto her foot. He found it all very amusing but if looks could kill he'd be a very, very dead man. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to turn off the alarm and spend a little extra time waking her up - she hadn't complained one bit until she happened to notice the clock. She wasn't so happy after that, pushing him off of her and immediately grabbing clothes in a haste. He wasn't in such a hurry, taking his time with each button and yet he was finished before she was. He knew it was only because she was trying not to forget anything and in that process had already forgotten to brush her hair and put on a shirt - not that he minded her in just a bra and pants but he didn't particularly want to share the privilege with anyone outside of their home.

The fire in her eyes, the messy hair - even though he knew she was annoyed with him - it was just sexy and the reason for his ever growing smirk. It was when she stopped in front of him, hands on her hips that he couldn't resist reaching for her. She moved quickly, stepping out of his hold and heading back to the closet as if she'd just realized she wasn't wearing a shirt.

"This is all your fault. We're late and it's your fault."

"Oh c'mon darling, it's just one day." A pair of socks he'd left on the floor hit him in the chest before dropping back to the carpet. She wasn't in the best mood; he should learn not to antagonize but really it was just so easy.

"Don't you 'darling' me." The smile on his face only grew with her frantic movements. She reminded him of a bumble bee buzzing about in all directions. "And wipe that damn smile off your face."

"Yes ma'am." Another glare met his grin. She clearly wasn't impressed but he didn't really care. He was getting quite the show and it was entertaining to see her so flustered. He'd intended to give her the gift he'd picked up for her - three months of marriage deserved something - but hearing the mumbled curses directed at him proved that it probably wasn't the best time. He'd give her a bit to calm down and realize it wasn't the end of the world.

"Do we seriously have no clean clothes in this house?" With a sigh, he stepped up behind her, hands trailing up her bare ribcage as she continued to search for a shirt. "Stop it."

"Teresa, what's wrong with that shirt?" He was referring to the red short sleeve she'd just overlooked and despite her demand, his hands didn't stop. Her skin was just too tempting. She was tense until he pushed her messy locks to the side and let his lips seek the back of her neck. Her muscles relaxed, shoulders slumping as a sigh slipped from her lips. He was winning the battle, nipping lightly at her skin. Her fingers gripped the red fabric, pulling it from the hanger and tilting her head to give him better access.

"This doesn't mean you're forgiven."

"Of course not. Never crossed my mind." That's exactly what had been running through his head but she didn't need to know that.

"I'm serious. I'm still mad at you for this." He chose to play his cards carefully, not commenting on the fact that she had her eyes closed and had fallen back against his chest. It'd only piss her off if he chose to be cocky about it. "Okay, okay that's enough. We need to go."

"Spoilsport." He could almost feel the eye roll, and he didn't care. "You ruin all my fun."

"I'll ruin it for the next month if you don't let go of me. I really don't think the couch is very comfy but you'll let me know won't you?" Everything between them had been good the last couple weeks and the comfort level seemed to have grown. Banter was back in full swing. Obviously, since she was threatening him with sleeping on the couch for a whole month just for feeling a little playful.

Removing his hold, he acquiesced and let her slip into the red shirt - she looked gorgeous in red. The view of her shirtless had been nice but he preferred it to be private. Others didn't need to see what was his. She'd kill him if she knew what he was thinking and for some reason that thought had him chuckling to himself as she grabbed her cell phone from the bedside table. The scare of a pregnancy had actually in some weird way helped them bond. Whilst he, like her, was relieved that they weren't bringing a child into the world just yet, he was also a little disappointed. He'd let himself wonder what their baby would look like, how beautiful Lisbon would be pregnant. It was for the best; he wanted her to feel comfortable with the idea before stepping into something as forever as a child. Besides they needed a little more time with just the two of them for communication purposes and time to settle into a routine that now included their intimate acts - like the one they'd been caught up in until she noticed the time.

"Ready?" Unable to stifle his laugh, he nodded and took in the way her face scrunched as she tried to figure out what he found so amusing.

"I'm good to go but you, my dear should at least attempt to brush your hair first. Unless you want everyone at work thinking that I ravished you in the elevator."

"You never know, I could have been the one doing the ravishing." Stunned by her retort, he was left smirking while she ran a brush through her tangled locks. Generally they had time to spare in the mornings but he was actually considering misplacing the alarm if it meant that he got to see her scurry about in a panic while pretending to be mad at him and throwing surprising insults and banter his way. There were still so many sides of her that he hadn't experienced yet - he was really looking forward to seeing each and every one of them through the years. "Alright, let's go."

He was still leaning in the doorway when she grabbed his hand and tugged him away rather quickly. A pain shot through his arm, right up to his shoulder and he jerked it away from her grasp to work through the discomfort by stretching it all different directions. She eyed him curiously and he tried to mask the pained expression he knew was displayed on his face. She'd asked him just last week how his shoulder had been feeling and he'd said fine, which it was as long as he didn't move it too quickly or lift anything heavy.

"Patrick, you okay?"

"Yep, fine."

"I thought you said..."

"Quick movement still hurts a bit, nothing much. S'fine." How was he supposed to tell her that he hadn't been visiting a physiotherapist like he was supposed to? He pretended to book the appointments on days they worked for a reason. He knew she wouldn't leave for something that wasn't life threatening and he'd been right. His shoulder was healing fine on its own and it wasn't as if he needed that arm anyway.

In hopes of distracting her, he gently threaded his fingers through hers and tugged her down the stairs. Unless they wanted to be an hour late they needed to get going and there was still the issue of his growling stomach. He was hungry, eggs sounded nice. Perhaps they could stop for a to-go order or something. She probably wouldn't go for it but he was going to try. They'd just made it out the front door when she pulled her car keys from her pocket and then stopped, turned to him and quirked an eyebrow. Uh oh.

"When's your next physiotherapy appointment?"

"Monday, at one o'clock." He was lying. He didn't want her to know that he hadn't even been booking appointments since several weeks ago.

"I want to be there this time." Her voice seemed nonchalant but he knew she was worried, it was written all over her face. He didn't want to deal with telling her the truth just yet, that would ruin both of their moods and despite being late she wasn't in what he'd label a terrible mood. She still wasn't so happy that he'd turned off the alarm but she'd live. He wasn't about to screw it all up so he chose to keep quiet and simply open the passenger side door. Later, he'd be sure to come clean about it later.

* * *

There really wasn't much that Lisbon couldn't figure out when it came to her husband anymore. He was becoming almost easy to read. She could tell when he was actually happy or upset or lying. He'd lied to her about the appointments for his shoulder, she knew he had and yet she didn't want to say anything because she'd actually found out from a phone call asking when he'd be back in since he hadn't showed in several weeks. Even without that call, she would've known that he wasn't telling the truth. It bothered her a bit, though she wasn't the most honest with him either which was another reason she didn't want to confront it. After all she was keeping quite the secret herself; she hadn't told Jane that Hightower didn't know they were married. If anything tore their marriage apart, she had a feeling that it'd be the secrets.

They were both just so good at hiding things and he was so good at getting her worked up. Just like the alarm thing, though payback in the elevator had been rather sweet and satisfying. Apparently, pinning him against the wall of the elevator and letting hands and lips roam was a sure fire way to turn him on and actually it'd been quite pleasurable for her as well but her plan had been simple. Get him aching, leave him hanging. It'd worked, as soon as she felt his arousal, she pulled away and waited for the doors to open while he was disheveled and stunned into silence.

A satisfied grin took over her lips - leaning back in her chair - as she recalled the way he'd immediately chosen to ride the elevator back down to the first floor to calm himself. Oh yes, payback tasted oh so sugary. Perhaps even their problems wouldn't be able to drive a wedge between them - after all, they were still doing their whole sharing something personal once a day thing. They'd been quite close lately, almost to the point of being considered on of 'those' married couples and she knew it was because of the little pregnancy scare. Even after a few weeks, she was still kind of disappointed that there wasn't a baby tucked away in her womb.

The dreams she kept having of a family weren't helping any, nor was the fact that her brother, Jon-Jon had decided she could babysit for a the entirety of a week sometime next month. She'd tried talking him out of it, telling him that she didn't exactly live near by and it'd be so much easier if he just found her a sitter near home but he hadn't listened. So in a few weeks, he'd bring Jolisa by and leave her for a duration of seven days. The world really was conspiring against her but maybe by then, the feeling would be gone and it'll be a bed or roses.

Glancing up at the sound of footsteps, she finds Jane smiling softly at her from the doorway and with a quick jerk of her head, she ushers him in. As if he'd actually leave when told anyway. The small soft smile grew into one of epic proportions and she immediately tensed in her chair as he waltzed in with his hands behind his back.

"I bought you something." Four words women generally liked hearing but when they came from the mouth of Patrick Jane, Lisbon could only speculate as to what all those four words could indicate. The huge grin on his face didn't ease her worries any. "I wanted to give it to you this morning but you weren't exactly pleased with me."

"You made us late."

"Oh come off it, will ya? It's not like it killed you." Despite wanting to scowl, Lisbon felt her lips tilt upwards when he produced a small box from behind him. "Three months."

She knew exactly how long it'd been but she hadn't went out and bought him anything and suddenly she felt guilty for not even thinking about it. They hadn't celebrated the second month so she'd just assumed this one wouldn't be special either. Though they'd had a lot on their minds during that two month mark, fear of babies and such. He looked proud of himself for the box he was offering and she knew without even opening it that it was a box for jewelry. Did he have a thing for giving her jewelry and starting uncomfortable personal conversations in her office? It was probably just another one of his 'quirks' she'd never be able to break him from.

Standing from her chair, she circled the desk to meet him on the other side and left several inches between them just in case someone walked by. Her blinds weren't shut, she eyed all the glass quickly and decided it'd be safe to at least accept his gift. With trembling fingers, she carefully grasped the skinny box and lifted the little lid. A smile blossomed on her face before she even got it all the way off. A gold chain stared up at her and she let her eyes dart up in surprise and slight confusion.

"I thought you could use it to put your rings on while working instead of shoving them in your pocket and hoping they don't fall out."

"Patrick, this is..." He wasn't Jane in a moment like this, not even while they were working. "I love it, thank you."

It was simple, it was perfect and eagerly, she pulled her rings from her pocket and pulled the chain from it's home. After undoing the clasp, she looped it through the rings and moved it up around her neck. She wanted to wear it immediately and was thankful to see that the chain was long enough to hide beneath her shirt, longer than her cross so it wouldn't tangle so badly. He'd probably done that on purpose, making sure it wouldn't get in the way of the one piece of jewelry she wore the most.

He moved to help, stepping around behind her and taking the two ends of the necklace and telling her to move her hair. She did as she was told, letting him bring the two ends together, clasp them and then slide one hand down the chain to the front of her shirt. Her breath hitched in her throat, her eyes widening at the acknowledgement when he tucked the jewelry under her shirt, making sure to nestle the rings between her breasts. His thumb caressed over the tender flesh and before she could even open her mouth to tell him to stop, his lips pressed against her neck. Her eyes fluttered closed, a gentle nip tearing a groan from her as he whispered a soft _'...don't look now...' _and of course her eyes popped open as soon as his words registered.

Dread flooded through her entire body, muscles tensing when she saw that her boss was watching from just outside. Of course Jane wouldn't think anything of it, he thought that she'd been a good wife and told Hightower that _they _were married but she'd chickened out and made it sound as if she'd married someone outside of work. This was not good. Shrugging Jane's warm hands off of her shoulders, she stepped away quickly and pretended not to see the flicker of hurt cross his features when she turned to make her way back to her desk.

No one was lingering outside her office now, but she had no idea what all her boss had seen or what any of it meant. She'd been hoping to keep things under wraps as long as possible for selfish purposes but something told her that wouldn't be possible much longer. She'd be surprised if she wasn't called for an impromptu meeting with Hightower before she left for the day.

"What's wrong?" Ducking her head in shame, Lisbon just shrugged a shoulder and busied herself with something on her desk. "Are you upset that Hightower just saw us? We weren't doing anything inappropriate Teresa, and she knows we're married."

"Jane, work please. Let's just get back to work." Asserting his last name always got his attention and this time proved to be no different. His demeanor changed immediately though she could feel a hint of anger rolling off of him. "M'sorry, I just don't want to advertise my personal life okay? This is why I wanted to keep all displays of affection out of the office."

"It'll be okay, it's not like she didn't know about us." Scoffing slightly, Lisbon couldn't help but think of how that's exactly what was bothering her so much - Hightower didn't know about them and now that was blown to hell.

"You're right. Thank you for the gift, I really do love it Patrick and I knew that today marks three months but I-I didn't get you anything." A light flush rose to her cheeks.

"I bought my wife a gift because I thought she'd like it. You don't need to get me anything."

"Okay. Now will you please go?" He offered a smile and moved towards the door in defeat. She'd managed to dodge the bullet with him, he hadn't picked up on the true basis for her little freak out spell. Thankfully, he was unaware and hopefully he'd stay that way. She didn't want to see the pain that she knew would be in his eyes if she were to ever tell him the truth. Why had she even lied in the first place? She was such an idiot, she should've told the truth and more importantly now she had to think of excuses as to why she'd hidden such a thing. She knew that her boss would most likely want answers. This was just what she needed. Karma was a bitch to her. She'd been a little angry at Jane for lying about his physiotherapy sessions and here it was biting her in the ass by revealing her biggest lie.

**a/n: I found out how to entertain myself for hours: Baby name books (No I'm not pregnant) There are some great ones. I've decided WHEN I have a kid - if it's a girl - I'm naming her Ashyla Bryn, I can call her Shy for short. :D I like unique names. Anyway, enough about my adventures with baby names...**

**Also, I'm thinking of striking up a stronger friendship between Van Pelt and Lisbon....over the course of the next several chapters.**

**Next: _"You lied to me, there is no appointment Monday at one o'clock for your shoulder!"_**

_**"Oh, because you haven't lied lately? Right, so Hightower just mysteriously forgot that I was the man you'd married huh? Well that's just weird." Her heart stopped for a beat, her lip quivering as she held back the tears. He knew, how'd he find out? She should've expected it to happen sooner or later but oh how she'd wished it was later. She didn't want to fight, not on this day. She didn't feel good and she just didn't have the energy. Her head hurt too much, her body was achy and standing for too long left her feeling weak and dizzy.**_


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: Nope. Not owning a thing.**

**A/N: So I've been really trying to update my other stories and I have about half of a chapter written for each of them but again it is just so much easier to type this one quickly, so you get another chapter of this instead. Don't worry though, after the Secret Santa is over all my updates will go back to the way they used to be. *Rubs eyes* Seriously thank you to everyone who has reviewed and managed to get this story to over 500. This makes United my most reviewed! So yay to you guys!**

**Thanks anonymous reviewers: Mana, martini, vesiher, April, MK (Jane hurt his shoulder back in chapter 8 I believe, it was awhile ago), and Alejandra (I actually have something pretty dang close to what you suggested already planned for an upcoming chapter, it should be soon.)**

A day of hell, that's what it'd been for Lisbon and not even soaking in a tub with her husband was helping. Her head hurt too much and despite leaning back into Jane's bare body, she couldn't relax. She tensed with every brush of his fingers over her skin. The heat of the water wasn't doing much for how cold she felt and it definitely didn't ease the heavy load of guilt and shame that had been building in her chest since she confronted Hightower about what she'd seen. It'd been close to a week since Jane gave her the chain to put her rings on, which meant about a week since her boss had caught them being rather affectionate. She'd expected to be called in for a meeting with the boss before the end of that day but nothing, nor was there anything the day after or the one after that. It drove her crazy to the point of being the one to do the confronting.

She hadn't been feeling well the last couple of days and crawling out of bed had been quite a task but she pretended to be fine. She didn't want Jane fussing over her and now she felt as though she didn't deserve anything loving or romantic from him. She didn't deserve him being sweet, or protective, and she definitely didn't deserve how he'd hover if he found out how sick she actually was. Perhaps he already knew, he had drawn her a warm bath after all and made sure she ate. He was too perceptive to miss the slightly ashen tone to her skin, which meant he probably knew she wasn't one hundred percent but if he knew how bad she was feeling the hovering would be ten times worse so at least she'd managed to keep that hidden. Maybe she just felt incredibly ill because of how badly she'd screwed up in Hightower's office earlier in the day.

~~  
_She was quite nervous, felt like there were airplanes zipping around in her stomach and it didn't help the slight nausea she'd been feeling all day long but Lisbon knew she wouldn't be able to just forget. She had to find out why Hightower hadn't said anything about the 'affection' that Jane had displayed, so with one last deep breath she knocked lightly and slowly pushed open the door._

_"Ma'am? Do you have a minute?" Head aching with ever step, she hesitated until she was officially ushered in. Stopping directly in front of the desk, Lisbon stared down at her feet for a few seconds and though she could usually maintain some sense of professionalism, this time was different. "I uh, I was wondering why you haven't said anything about what you saw a few days ago."_

_"And what is it that I saw a few days ago?" _

_"You were...you saw Jane and," Letting her eyes slipped closed, Lisbon tried to collect her thoughts and figure out why the woman in front of her was playing dumb. "Jane and I weren't exactly behaving professionally in my office a few days ago and I know you saw us."_

_"Oh, that. Mm, yes I did." _

_"I'm sorry, I'm confused ma'am." Confused didn't even begin to cover the feeling rushing through her body. She expected to be reprimanded, perhaps fired for lying about something as huge as being married to a member of the team. After the Rigsby and Van Pelt fiasco, Lisbon was terrified of Hightower knowing about the relationship. Even though he was just a consultant, he was still part of the team and since she was apparently the disposable one, she was worried about her job. _

_The sigh that fell from her boss's lips as she leaned back in her chair had Lisbon's heart rate speeding up, skipping a few beats and becoming eratic. She was prepared to deal with the consequences, after all she figured she'd eventually lose her job but she had never thought it'd be because of marrying someone. Swallowing nervously, she tried to convince her stomach that it should keep it's contents instead of sending them back up and it felt as though she was losing the argument. Whatever bug she'd had the last couple days was getting worse._

_"Let's be completely honest here, shall we Agent Lisbon?" A small nod was the answer. "It's none of my business if you're cheating on your husband; it is my business that it's with Patrick Jane but you two are very different from..."_

_"I'm not cheating on my husband." Stunned by the accusation, the pieces finally fit. She wasn't being reprimanded for marrying a member of her own team because her boss still hadn't figured it out. Clearly she hadn't seen the chain that Jane gave her or that she'd placed her rings on it. "Jane's...Patrick is..."_

_"He's what?" Biting back tears and battling the pain in her head, Lisbon couldn't seem to form the words she wanted to. She wanted to say that Jane was her husband, that she wasn't cheating on anyone. _

_"He's...he's nothing. I'm sorry, this was a bad idea..." With quick steps, almost a run, she fled from the office and immediately hated what she'd said. She should've just left it alone, never went to confront her boss in the first place. Now she knew there'd be another 'talk', she doubted that Hightower would be pleased that she'd just practically sprinted away - she definitely wouldn't be happy once she found out why.  
~~~_

Angry with herself for chickening out yet again, Lisbon groaned and shifted uncomfortably in the bath. Her elbow caught Jane's thigh causing him to complain with a yelp as the water sloshed around them. She muttered an apology and settled but it did nothing to take away from how tired and achy her body felt. Not to even mention the horrible web of lies she kept spinning. Jane had done nothing but be a loving man and yet she hadn't told anyone but her brothers about him. She hadn't been the one to tell the team, they'd just shown up for the wedding and Jane had filled them in on details. Technically she was still lying to them as well, they still thought that she and Jane had dated for awhile before tying the knot. She was so sick of lies. They didn't help anything, first thing Monday she was going to march into Hightower's office and blurt out that her husband's name was Patrick Jane. Whatever punishment came, she'd take with a stiff upper lip.

"Teresa, is there something bothering you?" Startling at his voice so low in her ear, she could tell he was asking in a way that meant he already knew the answer. She figured she could cover what she was really thinking about with a bit of truth this time instead of another lie.

"I just don't feel good."

"I know, you're feverish but that's not what I meant and you know it. Don't play dumb with me, you're no good at it." His tone didn't sound as sweet this time, more mocking and accusatory. His hands had stopped their gentle caress of her icky feeling stomach and every tiny shred of calm she'd felt with him was gone. Grasping at straws, she quickly sat up and looked back over her shoulder at him. "Teresa, no games. Is there something you want to tell me?"

"N-no."

"Tell the truth." In a haste, she moved from the warm water and out into the cold. Shivers shook her immediately and didn't stop after she'd wrapped a towel around herself. He was right, she definitely felt as though she had a fever. She could feel it. Whether it was the fact that she felt like crap or simply that she knew she'd screwed up yet again, she didn't know but without thinking she lashed out in defense.

"You lied to me, there is no appointment Monday at one o'clock for your shoulder!"

"Oh, because you haven't lied lately? Right, so Hightower just mysteriously forgot that I was the man you'd married huh? Well that's just weird." Her heart stopped for a beat, her lip quivering as she held back the tears. He knew, how'd he find out? She should've expected it to happen sooner or later but oh how she'd wished it was later. She didn't want to fight, not on this day. She didn't feel good and she just didn't have the energy. Her head hurt too much, her body was achy and standing for too long left her feeling weak and dizzy. "I was trying to find you, and I did but you were talking to Hightower. I heard everything."

He followed her earlier movements, moving to stand and grab a towel. When he stepped out of the bathtub, there were only a few inches between and Lisbon could see how badly she'd managed to hurt him. She hadn't meant to. Her fear had bit her in the ass and caused him pain. Suddenly it all seemed incredibly stupid.

"Y-you listened in on my conversation with..."

"I was thinking that you'd tell me on your own but clearly I was mistaken. I don't know why I even assumed that considering you never tell me anything."

"That's not true! I've told you more than I've ever told anyone!" The emotion in her voice was clear, the tears already spilling over. She felt too weak to be fighting with him, all she wanted to do was go to sleep.

"And yet, in all those moments you never once mentioned that you lied about us being married." The sad thing was that Lisbon didn't even know why she was trying to defend herself when she knew he was in the right on this one. She'd known from the beginning that it could blow up in her face, this was that explosion.

"Why'd you even bother with the bath and stuff when you knew our night would end like this?"

"Because I didn't think it would! I thought you'd have a good explanation, that you'd tell me on your own." Her stomach churned, her headache flaring up with a sudden pain directly between her eyes. Grasping her head in hands, she hissed and sat down on the toilet lid.

"Can we not do this tonight? I really don't feel well."

"You should take something, bring down your fever." The softness was back and had her completely shocked into silence at the sudden turn around. "You should have told me."

"I know but I can expl..."

"I don't want to hear it. At least now I know why you didn't want to be touched at work, I didn't realize it was because you're ashamed." With those sad words, he escaped back to the bedroom and she was left knowing that he was right. She had no right to be angry with him over the appointments for his shoulder when she'd lied to her boss about their marriage. A sorry wouldn't cut it this time, she wasn't even going to try and beg. There was one thing he was wrong about though; she wasn't ashamed of him. She was a lot of things, stupid being one of them at this moment but ashamed was not. Perhaps ashamed of herself but not him.

A wave of nausea tore through her, making her groan and tilt her head towards the ceiling. Glaring up at the light fixture, she wrapped her arms around herself and continued to shiver. The room felt even colder now that the man she loved was gone. The light made her headache worsen but she stared up at the ceiling anyway and found herself muttering to it.

"Okay Karma, I get it. Not only did you push me in the mud, you kicked me while I was down." She was fighting with her husband and sick. Two things she hated. The world was definitely laughing at her expense and she deserved it all.

When the shivers became too much, she quickly dried herself and slipped from the bathroom in the nude. She wasn't hoping to distract Jane from his well placed anger, she knew it wouldn't work and she wouldn't even think of trying something like that. She was simply leaving the towel in the bathroom so she didn't have to make another trip once she found clothes.

He was already in the bed by the time she walked in and made for the dresser. Silently tugging on as much warm clothing as she could find, she watched his chest rise and fall as he stared up at the white paint on the ceiling. The tension was thick, she had no idea what to say. Sorry wouldn't cut it but the part of her affected by the illness wreaking havoc on her immune system wanted nothing more than to curl up with him and forget all about the argument that she wasn't sure even classified as an argument. He hadn't really acted angry, more upset - saddened and hurt. He had every right to be every single one of those things. She'd brought this on herself - no one else was to blame - she knew that.

"Patrick, for what it's worth - which I know isn't much - I was trying to tell her." There was no response but she hadn't really expected one. Clad in a sweatshirt, pants and thick socks, she grabbed a pillow from the bed and headed for the door.

"Where are you going, Teresa?"

"To sleep on the couch."

"Not while you're sick you're not. Get back here. Just because I'm not exactly pleased with you at the moment doesn't mean I'm going to kick you out of bed when you are clearly coming down with something." She could see in his eyes that despite being upset, he was also still worried about her.

"It's fine, I'll just take something and..."

"How 'bout you just get in bed before we end up fighting over something else. I'll get you some medicine." He was up and moving before she could say anything and she knew it'd be wise to just listen. Easing herself onto the mattress and snuggling under the covers, Lisbon decided it was the least she could do. He disappeared from the room and she knew he was rifling through the medicine cabinet just by the sound of pill bottles and such being moved around.

Her stomach rolled and twisted, quite painfully just as Jane came back into the room carrying a bottle. He took the time to pour the recommended dosage in the tiny plastic measuring cup and handed it to her silently. Making a face, Lisbon tipped it back and swallowed the nasty tasting liquid. Jane just watched her intently but she could still see the stiffness in his shoulders. He wasn't happy with her at all, not that she blamed him.

"Thanks Patrick."

"How could you lie to me like that?" Sniffling, she wiped a hand over her face and burrowed back into the blankets, covering everything but her face.

"I wish I could give you an answer that doesn't sound absurd but I can't. I was afraid but never ashamed. I didn't mean to hurt you." The medication was left on the bedside table, within reach. Jane didn't stay standing at her side though; he crawled back in the bed and stayed far enough away from her to have her even more aware of the consequences her actions had caused.

"Well you did. Yes, I lied about my appointments but its two totally separate issues Teresa."

"I know that." There was an edge to her voice, telling him that she knew what the difference was. She was cold and she was sick which made her cranky and still she felt bad for snapping. She had no right. "Maybe we should just get some sleep - talk in the morning."

"Yeah, maybe." There were no goodnights exchanged, no I-love-yous, nothing more than a sigh from each as they rolled to face away from each other. It was the first night in a long time that they weren't cuddled together in the middle of the bed, talking about random things. It was the first night in a long time that they were falling asleep with more than just inches between them. Lisbon didn't like it but she dealt with it. There was nothing more she could do. She wasn't expecting forgiveness overnight for what she'd done but he was taking it better than she'd expected. The longer they were lying there the more awkward and tense it became, sleep didn't seem to want to take pity on either of them despite Lisbon being exhausted and feeling as though she needed to throw up.

"Patrick, I'm gonna tell Hightower soon and I'd fully intended to tell her once I realized that she thought I was cheating with you. I know that doesn't make up for..."

"Stop it. I don't want to fight tonight and you need to rest." Opposite sides of the bed suddenly seemed as though they were at opposite ends of the Earth. Silence settled thick and heavy. Lisbon couldn't believe that he was still worrying over her despite his feelings. She certainly didn't expect him to play nurse, especially since he'd heard what she'd said to her boss.

The bed shifted, the sound of bare feet hit the floor and the weight that had been next to her was gone. She didn't turn around, didn't know what he was doing but when she heard the sound of fabric rustling and zippers, she knew exactly how terribly she'd messed up.

"I'm just going to drive around for a bit to think. Don't wait up, you need the sleep and make sure you take another dose in the morning." As soon as she heard him say 'morning' she knew he had no intentions of coming back before then. She kept having to remind herself that this was her fault, she deserved this and with a silent nod, she let him go. She didn't trust her voice due to the lump that had formed in her throat. As soon as she heard the front door open and close, tears spilled down her cheeks and felt rather cool compared to her heated skin. She hated being sick. She hated that she'd just let her husband walk out in the middle of the night. She hated that he hadn't yelled and screamed at her - she could take that better than the disappointment and hurt. She hated crying when all she wanted to do was sleep and she really hated how empty the bed felt.

A sharp stab of clenching pain through her stomach had her pushing up from the bed, making a mad dash to the bathroom and wretching over the toilet. She had something new to add to her list of hates: she hated throwing up. She already felt weak and the violent spasms that shook her - pushed the contents of her last meal from her stomach - just left her shaky and unable to sit up any longer. With a flush of the toilet, she didn't even bother getting up and just leaned back until she was sprawled on the cool floor. It was too soon to use phone call or pleading text to bring Jane home. He needed some time, she understood but she felt incredibly alone in her bathroom. Perhaps it was the illness that was tearing through her system but she really didn't want to be alone and sick.

The ache in her belly had lessened, her hands were shaking and she felt as though her house had become an igloo but she was too exhausted to move so she didn't. She stayed on the bathroom floor, letting her eyes close. Definitely a day of hell.

**Next: _"Lisbon and I weren't dating before we got married...in fact, we still haven't been on a date."_**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mentalist...yet again.**

**A/N: Dun Dun DUN! That was my dramatic entrance. I'm on a writing spree today which is productive for two reasons. 1. My fanfic stories will be updated by the weekend. 2. I can finish my Secret Santa stories and move on to the sketching process. :D So last chapter we had a sick Lisbon...in case you forgot in the whole day its taken me to update. Yeah I know it's a quickie but I can't help it. I get so motivated for this story while my other ones I seem to have a block on at the moment. Meh. Except Temptation which will be done soon. I'm so proud of that one.**

**Thanks anonymous reviewers: Alejandra, MK, Elise, Anna, and April.**

It hadn't felt right, driving to work with no Lisbon. The weight in his chest was constricting and uncomfortable but Jane couldn't bring himself to swing by the apartment and pick her up. He wasn't mad at her, never had been. He was more hurt by the idea that she kept it all a secret, not the marriage per say. He could understand that but he couldn't understand why she didn't tell him that she wanted to keep it a secret from Hightower. He wouldn't have been mad, wouldn't have refused. He would have let her do what she felt was best and that is why his chest ached. Every time he thought they were moving away from the lies, something always came up.

There was another nagging thought in his head though, one that refused to leave him be; he'd left her alone while she was sick. He'd walked out of the apartment and drove around for hours and hours on end with no destination in mind. He should've stayed to make sure that she was alright. She'd had a fever and instead of at least making sure she was okay for work, he'd drove right by without stopping. He just assumed she'd be in as usual but he was starting to panic a bit.

He knew that he seemed to be the epitome of calm while reclining on the bullpen couch but inside he was questioning everything and growing more concerned by the second. Lisbon hadn't made it in yet. It was after eight. He kept thinking that every person coming from the elevator might be his wife but none of them were. This wasn't good, he shouldn't have left her alone. He could've just spent the night roaming the kitchen and living room or something. The concern he felt was too much and with a quick dig through his pocket, he found his phone. The least he could do was check on her.

Finding her name in his phone, he pressed the call button and lifted it up to his ear. With each sound of a ring, he grew more worried and when it went to voicemail he was already sitting up. Something was not right but would she even want to see him? He hadn't exactly been a loving husband the night before with the whole leaving thing. He'd just needed some time away for a bit. It hadn't meant that he was angry with her, though he knew she probably saw it that way. Anyone would probably think that if they'd seen the way he'd acted. With his brain working a mile a minute, he let a simple smile play at his lips when he caught sight of Grace Van Pelt making her way into the bullpen.

"Grace, have you seen Lisbon?"

"No, didn't you drive in together?" A ragged sigh flew from his lips before he could stop it which caused three agents to stare at him. It was obvious that he was bothered by something and it seemed they weren't going to stop watching him until he gave in and let them in on a secret. He was sick of secrets anyway.

"We kind of had a few differences last night and I left."

"And now you're worried because she isn't here?" He knew that the red head didn't even need to hear his voiced answer to know she'd hit the right mark. He visibly flinched when he recalled how pale his wife had been.

"She wasn't feeling well before I left and she had a fever." Jane found his eyes more interested in the floor than the look on Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt's faces. "Our marriage isn't exactly what it seems."

He couldn't help but smirk at the thought of what she'd say if she were there. She'd be horrified that he was going to let the team in on their secret but he was tired of keeping it. Why was it such a big deal that they'd married with no previous dating record whatsoever or that the engagement was a whopping three days long?

"Lisbon and I weren't dating before we got married...in fact, we still haven't been on a date." To say that nobody seemed floored by his revelation would be an understatement. They all just blinked at him, seemingly awaiting the big reveal of something other than what he'd just stated. "Never - no dates."

"Tell us something we don't know." It was Cho that broke the realm of silence and Jane frowned a little. He'd clearly remembered the lie he'd told them at the wedding. He'd said that he and Lisbon had been dating secretly for months and now he was finding out that they already knew they hadn't dated at all.

"Okay, I'll try again. We didn't have any romantic relationship whatsoever." That got the reaction he was hoping for, apparently they'd been thinking there was something strictly sexual going on between them for months and then they'd chosen to marry. Cho didn't seem shocked at all but the other two did. Their jaws were practically on the floor and Rigsby looked as though his eyes were about to pop out of his skull. Needless to say Grace was the one who recovered with a quick scowl before inquiring further about the new revelation.

"What? Jane are you saying that you two had never been romantic at all and then just married out of the blue?"

"Uh, yep. Well not really; we had a three day engagement." A frown settled on the faces staring back at him although Cho simply went back to work as though the news wasn't all that surprising and Jane let the concern he was feeling take over his features. "Grace, can you do me a favor? Could you check on her for me; I'll lend you my key."

"Don't you think she'd rather you be the one to check up on her?"

"Not at the moment. Please Grace?"

* * *

Cold was the first thing that registered to Lisbon. She had nothing else going through her mind except that she was really cold. She couldn't figure out why her bed was so hard and freezing. There was no heat from the blankets and no heat from the man she usually shared a bed with. Pain was the next realization. Pain in her head, limbs, and stomach. With a groan of displeasure, she forced her eyes to open only to immediately close them again due to the light. Prepared for the intrusion this time, she tried again. The brightness worsened the pounding in her head and also made her recall exactly why she felt so cold. The bathroom floor had apparently been her bed of choice the night before and a wave of nausea reminded her why.

Too tired to push herself up, she just curled further into a ball and stared at the wall. Surely Jane would be back soon. As badly as she hated to admit it, she could use his help in getting to bed. She felt as though one movement would exhaust her completely and her eyes were on fire. She hadn't been sick in so long that she'd forgotten how much she truly hated it. After just seconds of feeling her stomach roll, she pushed herself up on shaky arms and attempted to stand. It wasn't too bad, she just felt really weak but as soon as she managed to get on her feet the churning in her belly kicked up a notch and had her right back in the floor. This time she was on her knees, bending over the toilet and hating her body for making her try to empty her already empty stomach. Nothing was coming up, she was just hurting her throat and the muscles kept spasming.

If there was one thing she absolutely hated more than throwing up it was dry heaving. Stopping long enough to suck in a deep breath, she found herself choking and feeling ready to burst into tears from the pressure in her skull. It was when a hand pressed lightly to her back that she was able to catch her breath with a a few gulps of air. Relieved at the thought of Jane coming home, she let a smile tilt her lips upwards and turned to greet him. It wasn't him. Her husband wasn't a woman, nor did he have long red hair.

"Van Pelt? W-what are you..."

"Jane asked me to come. Are you alright Boss? I can take you to the hospital if you want." Lisbon knew that if she wasn't so icky feeling, she might have found the young woman's rushed sentences a little amusing but with her head throbbing it was more unwanted and slightly annoying. She was quite embarrassed at being seen in her predicament and it was easy to tell that Grace wasn't comfortable with it either. Besides, she didn't want one of her agents helping her or seeing her.

"M'fine." In an attempt to prove it, she pushed herself up quickly only for her head to spin and vision to blur. Okay, so perhaps she wasn't fine but she didn't need a hospital. It was embarrassing enough that Van Pelt was standing in her bathroom rather awkwardly. It made it ten times worse that Lisbon had opted for warmth and comfort in her night clothes which had her looking like a bum rather than a CBI agent. That's when her eyes widened in realization; she was late for work. It was the only explanation as to why someone was checking on her. "What time is it?"

"About nine."

"Give me five minutes to get dressed." Even though she didn't like the fact that someone she worked with was in her home while she was sick, she wasn't stupid. Driving wouldn't be a good idea and she'd need a ride.

"I don't think that's such a great idea Boss. You don't look so good and Jane told me to make sure you stayed in bed."

"No offense Van Pelt but my health is none of your concern and I'm fine. Did Patrick lend you his key?" At her nod, Lisbon just shook her head and quickly regretted the movement. She needed a shower; she felt gross but she wasn't sure she'd be able to stand long enough and she didn't have time. On unsteady legs, she headed for the bedroom and knew that she would've been a lot angrier about the whole situation if she had the energy.

A small fraction of her felt sorry for the woman she'd stalked away from but that was simply the tiny part of her that wasn't affected by the virus ripping through her body. She trusted Grace to wait downstairs and when she heard footsteps heading in the opposite direction, she knew that her instincts had been right. She wasn't completely with it and for all she knew this could be a dream but she still wasn't comfortable with the idea of Van Pelt being sent to make sure that she was okay. Was Jane really so mad at her that he couldn't come himself? Had she actually ruined their marriage completely?

Unable to get her thoughts under control, her shaking body flopped onto the mattress in hopes to gain more strength. Remembering her husband's words from the night before, Lisbon grabbed the medication from the bedside table and proceeded to take another dose. Something had to help the nausea, the headache, the heaviness in her arms and legs, and the overall bleh feeling.

Intent on trying to get dressed, she pulled the sweatshirt over her head and threw it on the floor. The chill of the air sent her into another fit of shivers and with a press of her own hand to her forehead, she let out a loud groan. There would be no going into work. No matter how badly she wanted to pretend to be fine and tough it out, the fever wasn't going to let her and it seemed higher than it'd been the night before. She needed to bring it down or she'd end up in the hospital. Lisbon wasn't the type to call in but she wasn't oblivious to her health either. Her body had a limit and it was telling her that it'd been reached.

With a shout down to Van Pelt, Lisbon told her that she'd changed her mind and wouldn't be in. She figured Jane was still mad so she didn't mention him at all but did ask that the rookie tell their boss of her current condition. This made the fourth day of feeling like crap and also the worst one so far. She was really hoping the trend didn't continue. She didn't want day five to have her feeling any worse than she was at this point.

As soon as the front door closed, she was falling backwards on the bed with a frustrated groan. She didn't want to miss a day at work, she was needed there but she also realized that she wasn't exactly productive while slumped over a toilet. It made her angry. Being sick always made her angry. She was cold and she felt as though she needed to throw up again but she knew she wasn't moving. Her energy was gone and without even bothering to put her sweater back on, she curled into a ball and let her eyes close again. Maybe she could sleep it off. It seemed like it was worth a shot and her tired body didn't disagree. It slipped into a doze rather easily and the hours that passed were spent in a dreamless state that had her drifting between deep sleep and wake. Her stomach was to blame. It woke her randomly to churn in a violent fashion but eased after a few cramps and she'd find herself once again submersed in the murky depths of a heavy sickness induced rest.

When her eyes slowly opened after what seemed to be just a few short minutes, Lisbon had no idea what the time was but she felt so thirsty and her throat was dry. She tried to swallow but it felt like someone had shoved cotton in her mouth. Water would be appreciated but she wasn't sure it was worth the move. Her stomach had settled but the ache was still present which let her know as soon as she tried to push herself up the onslaught of nausea would take over once again. There was one thing she noticed that seemed like a good sign; she didn't feel as cold.

The ache in her head was dull instead of making her feel as though someone was stuck inside her skull and using an icepick to escape. Her entire right side was numb which told her it'd been more than just a few minutes and that she needed to roll over. Whimpering slightly at the thought of motion, Lisbon knew to just suck it up and try. She hadn't planned on turning to find that she was no longer alone in the bed. It suddenly made sense that she didn't feel as cold; the blankets were wrapped around her and a warm body was just inches away. Jane. It confused her a little that he was there when he'd sent Grace to check on her earlier. She knew she'd been sleeping but surely it wasn't evening just yet.

"Patrick?" His name sounded more like a croak coming from her dry mouth but it served the purpose.

"Hey," Light fingers brushed her ratty hair away from her face and lingered on her forehead. "Still warm but better than an hour ago. How're you feeling?"

"Not so great." Her stomach punctuated that statement with a sickly gurgle that had her face scrunching a bit from the uncomfortable tightening. It was then that she realized she wasn't wearing a shirt.

"I'll get you some water, just rest." Unable to form a verbal response, Lisbon simply grunted her approval and startled when his lips pressed against her cheek. Wasn't he mad at her? She'd married the most confusing man on the planet. Burrowing deeper into the pillow, she closed her eyes and decided to worry about the issues between them later. She smacked her lips and let her tongue dart out to try and wet them but it did nothing. It was pointless so she waited, dozing in and out until Jane returned.

The cool glass that was presented to her once she'd sat up and leaned back against the headboard was all too inviting and with a shaky hand she reached for it greedily. The wet sensation that flowed passed her lips and into her mouth had her gulping.

"Sips, Teresa - slow down." She listened knowing he was right. Drinking too fast would end up choking her or upsetting her already questionable stomach. It still felt as though she couldn't get enough to drink and Lisbon knew she was probably dehydrated. She sipped slowly, cautiously and didn't stop until there was a churning and twisting in her belly. She still felt thirsty but her body wasn't in a cooperating mood.

Their fingers brushed when Jane pulled the glass from her grasp to set it aside. His free hand moved to her cheeks and then on to her forehead; she was still too stunned to move. Confusion didn't begin to explain what she was feeling. Sure, he'd been concerned the night before but he was supposed to be at work and she thought he'd still be mad. When he moved to sit in front of her - stare at her - she was uncomfortable enough to blurt out a question.

"Why aren't you at work?"

"Grace told me that you looked pretty bad, then she mentioned that you chose to take a sick day and I decided to swallow my pride. I'm sorry for leaving."

"I understand Patrick. I should've at least told you that I wasn't comfortable with letting Hightower know about us being married." Her voice was slightly croaky and cracked on certain words but ultimately strong. "I'm really sorry but I'll tell her as soon as possible."

"I'm not going to say that it's okay but I will say that we'll get through it and you don't have to tell her until you're comfortable with it." It was good enough for her. Honestly, she hadn't expected to be forgiven easily but Jane always managed to surprise her when she least expected it. "Besides, what kind of husband would I be if I left my wife alone to suffer through being ill as well as upset?"

"Thank you, but I'm feeling a little better and you should probably get back to HQ."

"Meh, I'm known to randomly disappear without telling anyone." He was attempting to lighten the mood and it worked quite well. Lisbon scoffed as best she could and shoved his chest. "Have you eaten? My guess is no."

She didn't need to answer, the disgusted face she made at the mention of food said it all. The protesting gurgle from her stomach backed up the facial response and Jane placed his hand over her misbehaving mid-section to rub affectionately. The touch was welcome after being alone for the night and afraid that she'd screwed her marriage over completely. He squelched those worries with a kiss to her cheek, followed by a quick brush to her lips.

"That's gross. I've been throwing up you know - and you could get sick."

"I'm gonna go make you some soup. You need to eat something, you're shaking." Moving from the bed, Jane bent down and grabbed her sweater from the floor to hand it to her. She simply took it without a word but offered a soft smile in thanks. "Teresa, can you just promise me one thing?"

She was in the middle of tugging the sweater back on when the words flooded her ears. He sounded wounded almost and she knew whatever it was had to do with the way she'd managed to hurt his feelings with the hiding of their marriage. That had never been her intention of course but she should have realized he'd be hurt by the lies.

"What?"

"Just promise me that you'll start telling me these things. Hiding that we're married from Hightower is fine but hiding that you're hiding it really isn't. If you'd tell me what you are and are not comfortable with, then we'd be able to avoid things like this."

"I promise. It had nothing to do with me being ashamed of us or anything like that; I was scared of losing my job, my team and you."

"Sweetheart, I was never mad at you for this. You can't lose me." Wrapping her now sleeve covered arms around herself, Lisbon shimmied back down in the bed and watched him turn to leave. She'd try the soup but she doubted it'd stay down. The muscles in her abdomen were well aware of the work they'd been doing which made it a little uncomfortable to stretch out. The fetal position kept her somewhat comfy and the tiredness in her bones began to pull once again. "Oh and uh, the team kinda knows about our no dating and three day engagement thing."

"Jane!" With the use of his last name they both knew things would be fine. The playful tone despite her being sick helped cement the fact and Lisbon knew as soon as she felt better that she'd do everything in her power to make it up to him. Something told her that they needed more time for just 'them'. They needed 'couple settings', perhaps it was about time for their first date.

**a/n: Can I just say that we're getting close to one of my favorite chapters? Well I just said it, so I guess I can. Technically, I didn't actually say it...I typed it but still.**

**Next up: _The music was slow and nice and it felt good to be in Jane's arms. Pressing her face into his neck, she let her eyes close and body move with his. She'd always liked to dance. Whether it be alone or with a partner. She probably wasn't the best but then again, she wasn't the worst either. She was pretty good, decent at least. None of it actually mattered anyway. Relaxing further into the man holding her close, she smiled in content and forgot all about the last couple of weeks._**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: See all previous chapters. **

**A/N: Don't judge me. I'm quite obviously addicted to writing this story. I've just given up on trying to fight it, besides we're getting into the good stuff - first dates and all that jazz. Don't you just love how backwards they are? I wanted to thank everyone for making this my most popular story. All the readers out there, you are amazing! By the way, Lisbon gets a bit emotional in this chapter but it's for a reason. I haven't replied to reviews but I'm literally falling asleep at my computer so I don't know if I'll get it done before I crash or not. If not, I'm sure you all know by now how much I truly appreciate hearing from each of you.**

**Another thing random thing: I'm sick...and it's summer. AH! I mean really strep-throat? Now? Grrrrr!**

There were several definitions to the word 'surprise' but Lisbon was going for a certain one. She wanted Jane to feel wonder, astonishment or amazement at something unanticipated. It was her gift to him for being so understanding with her through their almost four months. She'd planned everything and although it wasn't anything terribly special, she still wanted it to be a surprise to him. It wasn't easy to keep her plans a secret but for almost two weeks, she'd been able to hide it from him. It'd be their first date and she wanted to make up for the lies she'd told. They were supposed to watch her niece for a full seven days during those two weeks and she'd called her brother to postpone until things were a little more stable. She wanted to take Jane out and show him that she was comfortable. It was to ease the tension and she'd just thought it best to wait on the time with little Jolisa until she was sure her mind was clear enough. Next week she'd have the almost nine month old and she was actually excited about it or perhaps that was simply the excitement that she felt about the date she had planned for her husband.

It started with a shower while Jane was - well she wasn't quite sure what he was doing in their home. Her original plan for the date had been interrupted by work so she'd had to postpone it for several days to solve a case but in just a few minutes she'd be wearing the red knee length dress that'd been stashed in the back of her closet for over a year. She was hoping it'd still fit, otherwise she'd have to improvise.

It was one of those things she'd bought intending to eventually wear it to or for something and just never did. In fact, she was pretty sure the price tag was still attached. At least it would finally get some use although her plans did end with it resting on the floor before the night was over. It'd been two weeks exactly since she'd been ill and being sick for almost a week had deprived her of many things and although they'd had sex once she'd started to feel better it was just one time. Fourteen days ago when she'd been pressed to wall with him between her thighs, she'd let him have his way. Their first round of make up sex hadn't been anything sweet or tender; it'd been desperate and slightly angry. It was as if they exhausted the last of their anger and confusion through the fast movements.

In all honesty, she'd been craving him since their quick release of tension but work had chosen a sucky time to rear it's ugly head and it'd been an out of town case which had her still feeling tired. She had rules and one of them was no sex while on CBI time. She'd grown used to the job being the interruption; it'd always been there but being sick had left her pissed enough and then a murder interrupting what she knew would've been a night filled with make up sex had only added to her foul mood. She hadn't been exactly friendly and most probably assumed it was due to the fact that she'd had to take two days off while sick but oh how wrong they'd been. Just thinking about it had her wanting to forget all about dinner and move straight on to the bedroom but then the work she'd put into everything would be for nothing.

By the time she'd dried and curled her hair, she knew that her husband would be suspecting something. She never took more than ten to fifteen minutes unless something was up or she was simply enjoying the hot water. Baths were different, she'd stay in a bath till the water turned cold but she'd told him she was taking a shower and he probably realized it'd been over thirty minutes since she'd disappeared. She'd locked the bathroom door for a reason.

Generally she wasn't one for dressing up; not that she didn't enjoy it occasionally. She just never had the time for anything that called for 'sexy' but tonight was different. Tonight she'd be a wife having dinner with her husband at a nice restaurant because they needed a night out. A real night out with dinner, dancing, and the works. Every couple needed one of those every once in awhile - well she thought so at least.

The makeup she'd applied was a little more smokey than her usual and with a step back from the mirror, she surveyed her work. Satisfied, she turned to the dress hanging on the back of the bathroom door and let a smile take over her face. Grasping the fabric in her hands, she took it off the hanger and stepped into it. It wasn't anything elegant, nothing overly revealing or considerably sexy, it was a simple red dress and that's partly why she'd bought it in the first place. The 'V' neck wasn't going to have her flashing the public and the back didn't dip too far but just enough to show the expanse of skin.

Working it over her body proved to be a bit more difficult than she'd remembered. It felt tighter but not too tight and once the straps were in place, she zipped the side and decided to lay off the doughnuts for awhile. It compressed her breasts a little more than when she'd had it on over a year ago but she'd live. It wasn't so constrictive that she felt as though she couldn't breathe and it didn't look trashy in any way whatsoever so she was good. It wasn't really tight at all she just wasn't quite comfortable with it brushing over her breasts for some reason. With a grimace, she stepped into the black heels that she'd picked out, took one last look at herself and proceeded to unlock the door. Phase one was complete.

Phase two was about to commence. Sucking in a deep breath, she made her way down the stairs and smiled when Jane glanced up at her, turned back to the television for one split second, and then whipped his head back around to stare. He gave her a slow once over while reaching out to finger the material resting just above her knee once she'd stopped directly beside him.

"What's the occasion? Are we playing out a fantasy, m'dear?" Scoffing at the brilliant grin and eyebrow waggling, Lisbon placed a hand on her hip and gestured to his rumpled attire.

"You're wearing that on our first date?"

"Ah, you want to go out tonight." Giving him a simple nod caused her hair to brush against her cheeks and she seriously considered pulling it up instead of leaving it down. "Well I suppose we could get dinner or something."

"I already have reservations and we're going to be late if you don't hurry up." The reaction she'd been waiting for appeared. There was a flicker of surprise in his features and she felt her chest swell with pride. He masked the astonishment with an exaggerated sigh as he pushed himself up from the cushions.

"I married such a controlling woman but I guess since you obviously put a lot into it..." With a roll of her eyes, Lisbon stepped into his personal space and let her hands trail up his chest. He was silent instantly, no doubt trying to figure out what she was intending but when she pushed his jacket back off his shoulders he settled his hands on her hips.

"Tsk, tsk, Reeses. I thought we were supposed to be going out or is this one of those dessert before dinner things?" With a forceful jerk, she tugged his jacket down his arms as he complained outwardly about the roughness. He deserved it really. How many times had she told him to stop calling her Reeses? Stubborn man. She took the same rough approach with his vest but eased up once the buttons were undone. Slipping it off of him, she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Tonight is a thank you for being so understanding and for taking care of me when I was sick despite the fact that I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I mean it's not like I've never been ill before and seriously just stop with the Reeses thing!"

"Oh yeah Teresa, I can definitely see your appreciation. You've been awfully moody today." After his shirt was untucked and a few buttons opened at the top, they were out the door and on their way. Jane had wanted to drive but since Lisbon was the one who had planned everything, she controlled the vehicle as well. It was clear to anyone who happened to see them that Lisbon was happy. She had a light in her eyes and a glow in her skin that even she could see and it was all because of the date she'd planned to perfection.

Perhaps she shouldn't have been so confident; six blocks from the restaurant her car started to vibrate a little as if she had a low tire. At first she assumed it was the pavement she was driving on but when it continued and started to pull, she knew exactly what had happened and with a groan pulled into the first parallel parking spot that she could find. Jane was smirking the entire time and she was absolutely pissed. Normally she loved her car but really, it had to get a flat tire right then of all times? As soon as she'd killed the engine, her oh-so-clever husband apparently lost the ability to keep his mouth shut.

"You gonna change a tire in that dress? I admit that's kinda hot."

"Shut up and no we're going to go to dinner. I'll have it towed to a garage." She was capable of changing a tire but she was not going to miss those reservations. Stepping out of the car, she heard Jane do the same as she inspected the rear driver's side. Grumbling, she grabbed his hand and hurriedly paid for parking. The last thing she needed was a ticket. It bothered her that the man she was trying to show appreciation for was the one who seemed absolutely fine with the setback. It stung a little that he didn't seem to care at all about how hard she'd worked for their date. It bothered her that it bothered her; she had no idea why she felt a lump forming in her throat when the only thing that'd happened couldn't keep them from reaching their destination.

After a quick call for a tow truck and a conversation with a mechanic just up the street, Lisbon was hailing a cab and tugging Jane along like a ragdoll. If he wasn't going to act even the least bit interested then she wasn't going to let him know how much it meant to her. They were married and yet this was something she was nervous about. It wasn't quite worse than their first time having sex but it came awfully close.

Fifteen minutes, a whole fifteen minutes late and again it seemed as though Jane didn't care a bit. She did however catch his eyebrow raise when she'd given her name to the hostess; it wasn't that she'd actually had reservations, it was the fact that she'd had them list her as Teresa Jane. The thrill was short lived. Apparently fifteen minutes late means that the table you'd asked for gets given away due to so many people waiting. That lump in her throat seemed to grow thicker and she had no idea why. Yes, it was disappointing and somewhat embarrassing but nothing to cry over. After arguing with the lady for a few minutes, Lisbon realized it was of no use and simply gave up. They weren't going to get another table and again Jane just stood back as if nothing was wrong.

With a huff, they left and stood awkwardly outside on the sidewalk for a few seconds. There were plenty of other places to eat and several things they could do and yet Lisbon just couldn't bring herself to suggest anything. Her good mood was deflated. Jane was right, she had been moody all day and she had a headache. It all pointed to the monthly friend that was sure to visit soon.

The red tinting her ears showed how embarrassed she really was by the whole thing. She'd wanted to show her husband a good time but instead she was simply making a fool of herself. The night was ruined. Her plans had been foiled and with a defeated posture, she let Jane slip an arm around her waist and guide her towards the garage where her car was located. She didn't feel like talking either so the six block trek was undoubtedly going to be silent on her part and she prayed that Jane followed her example.

"Teresa..."

"Don't say anything." He obeyed her orders and kept his mouth shut until they made it into the tire shop. He only opened his mouth to inquire about her vehicle because he knew she didn't want to deal with the scrawny young man situated behind a counter.

It was going to be an hour before she got her car back and her stomach was growling uncomfortably. A slight queasy feeling made her aware of the fact that it'd been a long while since food entered her system. Ignoring the noise from her midsection, she tuned everything out while sinking into an uncomfortable plastic chair next to a row of new tires that smelled of rubber. The scent made her even more queasy but she suspected that the strong odor would get to anyone.

Jane's hand landed on her thigh when he plopped down next to her but she pushed him away and turned to face a different direction. It was slightly childish but he was being an insensitive jerk. When his hand went right back, she turned towards him with a fire in her eyes. Did he actually expect to get handsy after being so frustratingly nonchalant.

"You okay, Teresa?"

"Am I okay? Oh sure, perfectly fine. It's not like I put my heart into getting this right, then failed miserably and you don't even care. I'm just peachy, Jane." There was a slight sniff at the end of her sentence that caught them both off guard. She wasn't an overly emotional person and yet she was on the verge of crying all because of a tire and spoiled reservations. What the hell was wrong with her?

"Hey," His hand pressed lightly against her back to smooth up and down in a soothing manner. "I care. I just find it more amusing than anything. Think about it hon; we didn't date at all, we married quickly, we fought and avoided each other before we ever reached a honeymoon phase, and now our first date is spent getting a flat tire fixed. It's kinda ironic."

"Stupid idea anyway..."

"No it wasn't. It was sweet and it hasn't been ruined; there are plenty of things we could go do. There's still a whole city, a whole night and public transportation." Staring down at the floor, she didn't say anything and simply folded her arms over her chest. "Oh c'mon don't act so childish."

"That's rich coming from you."

"Alright, what is wrong with you? You've been like this all day long. One minute you're fine and the next you're ripping some unsuspecting person's head off."

"I don't know! I just...I don't know."

"We can eat somewhere else, Teresa. It's no big deal." He had a point and she knew it but that didn't make her any less upset by the whole unfortunate thing. Sure, they could always just eat somewhere else or go have fun. There were several things to do but she was in such a mood at this point that she just wanted to retreat and lick her wounds. Glancing up from the floor, she couldn't help but notice that the young man behind the counter was staring. Poor guy probably thought a soap opera had stumbled in.

Feeling a little more self conscious than before, Lisbon shifted uncomfortably in the red cloth covering her body and lowered her voice to a whisper in hopes that her concerned other half would follow suit.

"I wanted to do something right for once. I'm always pushing you away or hiding things and I wanted to do something good for us."

"You, my dear, are way too hard on yourself. You're not always pushing me away and hiding things. In case you've forgotten I, too, am responsible for communication issues and rough patches. There's two of us to blame Teresa and you're not doing anything wrong so you shouldn't feel the need to do something right." At least he'd whispered so no prying ears could hear and with a sigh, she let herself believe his soft spoken words.

"I wanted you to know that I really was sorry for the fiasco a few weeks ago. As cliche and cheesy as it sounds, I wanted this to be perfect."

"I already know you're sorry. You don't need to plan an over the top night out to show me that and let's face it Teresa, nothing we ever do will be perfect." Moving around to lean her head on his shoulder, she let her eyes close for a quick moment of peace. Something soft and melodic flowed through the air all of a sudden, disrupting what had been a quiet room. Music was playing and the guy who had been staring was now simply smiling down at some clipboard he was holding. Lisbon found the source of the sound shoved back into a corner but before she could even point it out, Jane was standing and extending his hand.

"Care to dance? I know it's not what you had in mind but..." He let the sentence hang and for once she didn't question him. With a smile, she let him help her up and pull her in close once standing.

"Not what I had in mind at all but it'll do."

"You look absolutely enchanting in that dress." The low husky tone to his voice as she felt his breath ghost by her ear had an involuntary shiver coursing through her. He hadn't said anything about how she looked all night which made the comment seem even sweeter.

"Thank you Patrick." Her hands gripped him tighter of their own accord and her cheeks flushed when her stomach growled loudly. She ignored it and kept swaying. "I guess this isn't completely horrible."

The music was slow and nice and it felt good to be in Jane's arms. Pressing her face into his neck, she let her eyes close and body move with his. She'd always liked to dance. Whether it be alone or with a partner. She probably wasn't the best but then again, she wasn't the worst either. She was pretty good, decent at least. None of it actually mattered anyway. Relaxing further into the man holding her close, she smiled in content and forgot all about the last couple of weeks.

Feeling him press a kiss to her hair, Lisbon snuggled further into him and let her lips return the gesture on the smooth skin of his neck. Once wasn't quite enough for her so she did it again, and then again for good measure. A fire lit in her veins, daring her to get a quick taste so she did. With a light flick of her tongue and nip of her teeth, she had him sucking in a sharp breath - at least she could do that without messing up. His hand gripped her hip tightly and she knew it was a warning.

"Woman," One word sounding rather forced told her to stop and though she didn't want to, she knew she had to. They were in public and the guy staring at them with wide eyes only looked to be in his late teens. Lisbon really wasn't into the whole being watched while displaying any type of affection but she'd wanted to show Jane that she was his and he was hers no matter where they were and it wasn't as if the boy could see what she was doing. Ignoring the hint of arousal she could feel building, she stopped the movement of her lips and let herself forget everything but the feel of dancing with him.

It didn't matter that their dancing was located in the middle of a tire shop or that the music was coming from an old record player stashed in the corner. It only mattered that despite how screwed up and ruined their date had been, it was also turning into one of the best that Lisbon had ever been on. Her plans hadn't worked out at all but she knew they'd get their dinner some other time. She was too submersed in the feel of him to care anymore. He was right yet again; it was childish to be so upset over this so she was going to make the best of it. She just liked to be in control and she felt so out of it when things happen. It made it worse that her emotions were toying with her as well; it was no wonder she had the headache.

Jane's hand stroked up her back to immediately smooth back down again. Before she could stop herself a chuckle flew from her lungs as she finally saw the irony in their location. It was kind of amusing in a way but she was still slightly upset that things hadn't worked out the way she'd planned.

Time passed, the music changed and yet they continued their dance and didn't stop. In fact they probably would've kept going despite the ache in her feet if it hadn't been for the clearing of a throat when the man, Rick, who'd been changing the tire walked in. They probably looked crazy dancing amongst rows of tires but it worked for them. Lisbon had no idea of the time but she knew it hadn't been a full hour and when he quickly explained that the cars he'd been working on were postponed for the quick swapping of a flat tire for a new one, it made more sense.

Something that Lisbon hated paying for were new tires but it had to be done. The reason for their lost reservations had cost her. She'd wasted more money on their so-called first date than she had on any given day of their marriage and yet with Jane's arm around her waist as they made their way back to her car, she couldn't find it in her to complain anymore.

"Do you want to get something to eat now?" Thinking it over for a few seconds, she shook her head no.

"Let's just go home and order in or cook something." She had one more plan for the night that she refused to let be foiled. She had one more surprise for him and she was too tired to spend another hour or two out and about.

* * *

The sensation filling Lisbon from head to toe when they made it through the door was one of pure delight and anticipation. There was a hint of nervousness thrown in but they'd done it so many times before that she knew there was no reason to worry about whether or not she'd do something wrong. Sex with Jane was pretty much the easiest thing they could ever do together. No thoughts went into it. Their bodies just knew what to do and it was something that neither quite knew how to explain. She wasn't wanting to explain it on this night anyway; she was wanting to make his eyes darken with desire.

"Alright so what are you in the mood for?" Despite the question, Jane didn't exactly wait for the answer before heading towards the fridge. Giving him a few seconds to rummage through the contents of the appliance, Lisbon simply watched until he moved on to the cabinets. Her stomach wanted food but her body wanted something else and the delicious ache was winning. All she'd been able to think about on the way back to the apartment was what would happen once the door was locked. Just by thinking of different scenarios she'd managed to get herself turned on to the point of walking up behind him as soon as he reached for a box of something high on the top shelf of the cabinet.

Without warning, Lisbon wrapped her arms around his waist and let her hands dip low to rest against the button on his pants. There was no denying that he knew immediately what she had in mind. She felt him tense and relax just seconds after the initial contact. The heels made her tall enough to rest her chin on his shoulder to seductively whisper in his ear.

"I think food can wait, Patrick, don't you?" With a kiss to his neck, she let her hands work on the buttons of his shirt with a quick finesse that had the cloth lying on the floor before he knew it.

"Your stomach is growling."

"It can wait, come on." She didn't pull him or even ask that he turn around; she just slipped away and headed upstairs as her stomach growled once again. Staring down, she rubbed a hand over the origin of the sound as if the touch would make it behave.

Jane was a little stunned and that'd been her goal so it didn't really surprise her that she made it into the bedroom alone or that it was still a few more minutes before anyone joined her. The slightly perplexed look on his face when he made it through the doorway was enough to have her reaching for his hand and tugging him towards the bed. He didn't say anything but she could see his questions burning in his eyes along with the amusement he felt at her taking charge. That tiny spark sent a whole new wave of flames through her body and made her feel even more daring.

With a light shove to the chest, she had him sitting on the edge of the mattress in just his pants. She didn't hide the hunger in her gaze when she let her eyes travel over him. She didn't attempt to stop herself from biting her lip when she noticed the effect her actions were having on him. It was affecting her as well and made the pleasurable ache between her thighs even harder to ignore.

"Teresa..."

"Shh." Shushing him only seemed to arouse him more and pulled a moan from his lungs or perhaps that was caused by the way she trailed her hands up her own ribcage in slow search for the zipper tucked under her arm. Locking her gaze with his, she tugged on it and felt the fabric loosen. His eyes darkened when she stepped a little closer and slowly removed one strap from her shoulder before moving to the other.

His fingers were twitching against his thighs and it was quite empowering to see him looking so disheveled. The fabric pooled at her waist and she saw and heard the sharp breath he sucked in once seeing her bare breasts. A small smile held her lips captive as she worked it over her hips and let it drop. His breathing pattern had changed and become more ragged and forced. The woman in her absolutely loved seeing him so out of it. There was just something about the way he stared as if he wanted nothing more than to spend each and every day exploring the skin she'd just uncovered. It was unnerving and exciting.

Her name left his lips again when she stepped closer and then brought her foot up to rest on his thigh with the intention of ridding herself of the black heels that were getting highly uncomfortable. His hands were on her skin immediately, trailing along her calf and to the back of her knee. She was ticklish there and had to stifle the giggle that threatened when he attempted to encourage her closer. She didn't give him the satisfaction but did manage to get the shoe off and quickly switched to do the same with the other before she got too lost in his touch.

Shoes tossed aside and only left in her panties, Lisbon finally gave him what she knew he wanted. She could see that he needed her, it was obvious with one glance and though her own arousal wasn't quite as obvious, she was more than ready. She didn't want to endless touches and kissing; she simply wanted him. Nothing more and nothing less. He'd been used to her slow movements and she saw the surprise in his eyes as soon as she moved towards him and grasped his arms. His hands were on her hips in no time and it was unspoken agreement that he stand.

His lips landed on hers with a fire bursting between them as her hands quickly worked the pants he was wearing down his hips. A groan vibrated from his chest once they hit the floor and less barriers were between them. Tongues brushing in a soft rhythm, Lisbon pressed herself into him and delighted in hearing her own sound of approval mix with his. They were good at this. The date had been a bust but they were good at _this_.

A burst of pleasure shot through her when his fingers dipped beneath the waistband of her panties and began to push them down. Another obstacle was gone and pushed aside to be added to laundry later. His hands on nothing but bare skin were trying to turn her around and take control but she wouldn't have it. With reluctance, she pulled away from the lips doing delicious things to her mouth and quickly but gently tugged his boxer-briefs down to remove the last stitch of clothing that kept them apart. He still tried to lay her back on the bed and she resisted.

"No..." It was a whispered word in the midst of heat but he heard her loud and clear and if that hadn't been enough to stop him then the shove to his chest would have. She actually kind of liked pushing him like that and making him fall into a sitting position. It was kind of sexy and very stimulating to see that she really could be in control. With Jane it was always a battle between the sheets of who could control and she admitted that sadly a lot of times she simply got too worked up by the feel of him that she gave the power to him. Not on this night. It was her night and he seemed to finally understand that.

A little detour to the nightstand had her grabbing a condom while he made himself more comfortable against the pillows. Chewing her lip, she crawled onto the bed with him and straddled his thighs. His hands brushed over her hips, her ribs and around to her back. As electric as the touch was, it wasn't needed. She knew he could feel how badly she needed him and with a wiggle she made it more apparent. His eyes widened before slipping shut as she rocked against him while rolling the latex over his erection. He tried to flip them but she held her ground and kissed him softly.

"No Patrick." She sounded a little like she was attempting to scold a child but when his hands had started to wander between her thighs, she'd had to stop him. "I don't want anything besides you. I don't _need _anything but you."

That was why she needed the control this time. He'd try to tease and please and she didn't want that. With another kiss, she nipped at his lips and joined their bodies in one swift move that had them both sharing a gasp. His hands gripped her back tightly as she set a rhythm that was slower than she'd intended it to be. Their mouths were touching, but not in a kiss just resting against the others as breaths mingled and eyes remained closed. Feelings of content and pure desire rushed through her and into him with each movement their bodies made.

It never turned frenzied although at times Lisbon felt as though she'd explode from the coil tightening low in her abdomen. She never let it quicken because she needed the reassurance that she found in the easy pace. The sounds falling from his lips only boosted her confidence and the hand fisting in her hair spurred seemed to bring her release that much closer. It was there, just out of reach but she could feel it. She needed it.

"Patrick," The breathy tone to her voice made his hands grip her tighter and move his head to trail his lips over her cheek and jaw. The twisting between her thighs worsened with the feel of him moving inside and she wondered if she'd ever get that release. He was close and she knew it but when his hand tried to slip between their bodies to help her along, she pulled it away.

"Teresa, I'm not gonna last." He tried once more as if his explanation would change her mind but again, she pulled his hand away.

"I don't need it." She didn't think so anyway. With the feel of his skin sliding against hers and the heat of his breath tickling her neck paired with how truly worked up she'd been before they even started shedding clothes then she knew she was ready to burst. It was growing to that point of becoming uncomfortable yet unbelievably pleasurable at the same time. Opening her eyes, she watched his face as he struggled to hang on for her. "Open your eyes Patrick."

He bit his lip and she felt herself tighten around him. He obeyed the soft demand and finally opened his eyes just as another pulse fluttered through her. He let go, unable to carry on and it was watching him experience release that triggered her own. The way he tensed beneath her and held her as though she'd disappear any second took her over the edge. One minute she was watching him give into the sensation and the next, powerful waves of pleasure crashed over her to leave her falling limp against him with a whimper.

Several long moments passed with nothing but the sound of their breathing. That hadn't been quite what she'd intended when suggesting that dinner could wait awhile but it'd been worth it. The silence stretched on with neither of them wanting to disrupt the peaceful energy that had settled but of course, it only lasted so long before Jane couldn't help himself.

"Best date ever." Lisbon chuckled against his chest and if her eyes had been open, she probably would've rolled them just for good measure.

"Just so you know, I usually don't put out on the first date."

"So I'm special then?"

"Well I'd hope so considering you're my husband and all." With a slight sound of discomfort, she slid off of him and collapsed onto the cool sheets to stare up at the ceiling while he made his way to the bathroom to get cleaned up. The room felt a lot colder without the heat of his body and she suspected the thin sheet of sweat also had something to do with the goosebumps rising on her flesh. Her headache was gone and replaced with a fuzzy feeling and droopy eyes.

She would have dozed off if the bed hadn't dipped and his arm hadn't slipped over her stomach. She felt so tired. She'd been tired all day and she'd simply ignored it. She felt okay so she didn't see that it was a big deal. A lack of sleep generally made one tired and it was no secret that she didn't get enough sleep. Warm lips pressed against her cheek and she lazily turned her head to see Jane propped up on one elbow and staring down at her. Fingers traced along her navel and a newly found nervousness swept through her. She'd been thinking about something a lot lately and wanted to run it by him but wasn't quite sure how to bring up the subject. This seemed like a good time since it concerned their sex life.

"Patrick, I uh want to talk to you about something." She didn't give him a chance to say anything but her cheeks heated at the thought of what she was about to say. It was still embarrassing even though they were married. "I was going to see about getting on birth control so we wouldn't need to - so nothing would be between us. I just thought it'd be better and we wouldn't have to stop every time before we...I'm rambling aren't I?"

"I love it when you ramble."

"Hush. So are you okay with that?" A bright smile lit up his face and she could see that he was enjoying her discomfort.

"This isn't my decision. As far as I'm concerned, we don't have to use anything."

"I'm not quite to that point yet, I'm sorry Patrick." She let a sadness creep in although she knew he meant his statement to be a joking one. It bothered her that he seemed okay with the thought of kids while she was still worried that he wasn't really ready for something like that. The air grew tense with her apology and they continued to just stare at each other until her stomach interrupted with a grumble. It brought on a change of topic which was refreshing and gave her time to think.

"Time for food now, my dear?"

"Mhm but food is all the way in the kitchen."

"Lazy woman." A scoff was the only retort she gave and it was enough to have both of them grinning. He was calling her lazy and both found it rather amusing considering he was actually the rather lazy one when it came to actual work.

"You could bring me something."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, something simple like a sandwich? Turkey and ranch?" Putting on her best puppy dog face, Lisbon stared up at him in hopes that he'd fall for it but she already knew it was pointless. "Maybe some chips too?"

"Cute but I don't think so." A frown replaced the hopeful stare she'd been giving him and then without warning, she pinched him. "Ow!"

"Should've got me the food." Rubbing his chest, he grumbled about abusive women much to her amusement and climbed out of bed. Not even ten minutes later, there was a sandwich placed in front of her with some chips and even a glass of milk.

**a/n: Random Fact: I was push mowing the lawn today and ran out of fuel just as I was really getting into it. Boo. This chapter was really long and the next will probably be the same since there's a lot going on like Van Pelt confronting Lisbon about her quick marriage to Jane, and Lisbon telling Hightower that her husband is Jane. Also if this chapter seems all wonky then I blame the medication I'm taking for my throat. :P**

**Next: Settling little Jojo against his chest, Jane leaned back into the sofa and let the tiny one snooze. With a protective hold on her, he let his own eyes close and listened to the sounds of the busy bullpen. Lisbon would probably kill him once she found out that he'd managed to get her niece out of daycare simply because he was bored and expecting to convince the overworked woman to leave in an hour or two. He hadn't planned on Hightower finding out first but before he could drift off, her voice disrupted the pleasant thoughts of sleeping in a bed with his wife and the dark haired one lying on him.**


	25. Chapter 25

_**Disclaimer: Not mine. :D**_

_**A/N: And now...the chapter a lot of you have been waiting for: JOLISA IS BACK! I can't help but love the little one. She's just too much fun to write. Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely love children? Seriously I want a house full of kids but I have a medical condition which limits me to 3 at the most. There's always adoption and foster care though so I'm not giving up on my house full of little ones. Anyways, onto the reading...what? I like this story as much as the next person. Okay, so I'm pretty much done with Secret Santa...minus two more things I want to do. **_

**_AFTER the 18th: I will post a new chapter to EVERY story. The only reason I'm favoring this baby at the moment would be because of the length. Honestly it's probably going to be over 100 chapters and I'm trying to get as much of it done as I can before I head off to college. Just a basic time line for ALL of my other fics though: I'm going to have them complete by the beginning of September definitely. Temptation will be done very soon. The last chapter is 3/4 of the way finished. Family Revelations will probably be after that - I think there's about 7 chapters left._**

_**This chapter is a little choppy but it just had to be that way.**_

Getting up early had never been an issue for Lisbon. It wasn't that she liked or wanted to get up early but more like she knew when it was important. Her brother showing up at six in the morning to drop of her niece was important and although Jane had stayed in bed, she had restlessly crawled from the warm spot next to him and resorted to pacing the living room. She wasn't pacing because of Jon-Jon or the thought of having Jolisa for a full week. None of that was too nerve wracking. Something else was bothering her and she just couldn't quite put her finger on it. She just felt...different.

There was nothing wrong that she knew of and her marriage had been rather great lately. Her sex life was fine, better than fine actually and it was quite a relief that she and Jane were managing to talk things out instead of hiding things. It'd improved many things and one of those things happened to be the sex - not that she'd had any complaints about it before. So, no, that wasn't what was making her feel so strange or perhaps it was; maybe she was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Why was it that she was once again pacing while waiting for her brother to arrive? It seemed like a theme and she didn't like it. Jane would know that something wasn't quite right if he happened to see and yet her feet wouldn't stop moving across the floor. She'd left him asleep but she wasn't sure how long that would last. He had a knack for waking as soon as she left the bed and it was rather endearing to think that he couldn't sleep without her next to him. Her thoughts were wandering again, moving on from what she'd originally been thinking about to something as random as Jane's sleeping habits.

The knock at the door was welcomed and with a rush of movement, she was unlocking it and pulling it open. Thankful for the intrusion, she almost jumped on her brother to show her appreciation for his prompt ways but quickly realized that it wouldn't be such a great idea since he had the baby. She settled for a kiss on the cheek and one-armed hug as she led him in.

She'd tidied up a bit in her inability to sleep despite being so tired. She felt exhausted but she'd known that she'd be getting Jolisa early and her internal alarm had malfunctioned and woke her at five instead of ten till six.

"You look fantastic sis." The laughter in his voice wasn't lost on her and she shot him a glare before smiling down at the sleeping baby settled against his shoulder. If he wanted to make fun of her wardrobe then so be it. It was early and there was nothing wrong with sweats and tank top. Nothing wrong with it at all, even though the pants were Jane's and entirely too loose despite the draw string being pulled as tight as it would go. "Really you do. The hair is just great."

"Shut up. It's early and I can still kick your a-"

"Tressa, language." Rolling her eyes, Lisbon reached for the nine month old and gently maneuvered her around to rest against her chest. "Jojo's learning to form some words and that's one that I don't need for her to pick up."

"She's asleep Jon-Jon and you haven't called me Tressa since you were nine." Moving to cradle the tiny girl, she reached for the diaper bag hanging off his arm and gestured for him to lean the other bag he had and the playpen against the wall. "Are you sure she'll be okay? She's not gonna start crying the minute she wakes up and realizes that you're gone is she?"

"She might fuss a little but offer her food and you'll be her best friend. Oh and don't freak out if she calls you 'Momma', she just learned it and she calls everyone that or 'Da-da'." It was always rather cute to see her brother go into protective daddy mode and it had her wondering if Jane would do the same when their first child came along. Stunned by her own thoughts, she paused momentarily in her steps once she realized that she wasn't even considering it an 'if' anymore; it was now a 'when' and she wasn't sure how to feel about that. "There should be enough outfits, toys, diapers and food packed but if..."

"We'll be fine. I have a washing machine and money if we get low on things. Now go or you'll miss your flight." He offered her a grin and kissed her cheek as well as Jojo's before leaving the apartment.

The quiet once again enveloped the living room but there was a faint sound of the radio drifting down from the bedroom. It was Jane's thing. He liked to listen to the radio sometimes when he couldn't sleep and apparently the night before had been one of those nights. Swaying gently to the soft tune, she stared down at her niece's face and took in all the changes that three months had brought on. Her hair was longer, more curly, and to say she looked like her father would be an understatement.

Humming softly, she continued to sway for a few minutes before remembering that the heavy weight on her shoulder wouldn't get any lighter until she put the diaper bag down. Trying not to jostle Jojo around too much, Lisbon dropped the bag on the couch so it wouldn't make a loud noise and then tried to ease the baby down onto the cushion. She was just going to leave her long enough to fight with the playpen but as soon as Lisbon let go of her tiny body, little hands reached forward and a whimper flew from the small mouth. Green eyes opened and filled with tears as the whimpering continued.

"Shhh, hey, it's okay." The soothing tone did nothing nor did the words and with a quick press of her lips to Jolisa's forehead, Lisbon tucked her close and carried her into the kitchen. "S'alright Jojo."

If food was the answer then she'd use it; she was hungry anyway and wanting something particular that would be easy for Jojo to swallow without the risk of choking. The whimpers faded when the fridge was opened and the milk was pulled out but the baby kept her face buried beneath Lisbon's chin. Little fists grasped her shirt, digging into the skin of her breast and making her suck in a sharp breath. The kid had quite the grip and it wasn't such a great thing on sensitive flesh - very very sensitive flesh.

"Ow, ow, okay - let's just not pinch Auntie Teresa huh?" The small hand only seemed to pinch harder and Lisbon quickly pulled the fingers away and rested them on her shoulder instead. Grabbing a bowl from the dish drain, she set it next to the jug of milk and situated Jolisa on her hip. By the time she reached up to the cabinet for crackers, the tears and whimpers had ceased and were replaced by babbles. "You're getting so big you know that?"

A happy squeal was the only answer but the big grin and sparkling eyes had Lisbon's heart fluttering in her chest. There were two more months before kids would be brought up again in her marriage and she was starting to think that maybe she would be ready by then. Holding a baby and seeing her smile while fixing breakfast in nothing but pajamas definitely put things into perspective and it felt oddly comfortable. Perhaps, she didn't need to take the time to put herself on birth control after all. She had some time to think it through and she planned to use it wisely.

Breakfast consisted of nothing big or extravagant; she didn't feel like cooking anything and she really wanted some crackers and milk. It was an interesting chore to crumble the crackers in just one hand but she managed to get most of them into bowl. Only a few landed on the counter and she simply chose to brush them into the floor and sweep later. Jolisa watched with wonder as her aunt poured the milk over the crushed crackers and even clapped her hands together when the milk was placed back in the fridge and a spoon was added to the bowl.

"Ma-ma." Offering nothing more than a big smile to the happy baby with the broken words, Lisbon held her tighter and lifted the spoon. One bite for her and one for Jolisa who seemed to actually really like the concoction. She hadn't been sure if she would or not so she'd given her a very small bite.

"Good stuff huh Jojo?"

"What are we eating?" Glancing up at the invading voice, Lisbon gave Jane a grin and tilted the bowl so he could see. The look on his face was utterly priceless. "What is that?"

"Crackers and milk. Wanna bite?" He stumbled around to stand directly next to her but all he was doing was looking at the spoon, then her, and then back. "Oh don't look at me like that; it's a good combination."

"Whatever you say, dear. I think I'll stick with good old Cheerios." With a shrug of the shoulder Lisbon gave the spoonful to her niece who greedily opened her mouth as Jane pressed a kiss to her dark curls. He really fit the loving uncle role and it was quite a turn on to see him looking so rumpled with sleep and telling the baby still in footie pajamas what a lovely day it was going to be.

"Are you sure you don't want some Patrick?" His arm wrapped around her from behind and she felt her skin heat at the touch of his hand low on her stomach. His chest pressed into her back and she shifted uncomfortably while hitching Jojo further up her hip.

"Oh I want some but uh, we have company." The huskiness in his voice sent a shiver raging through her but she moved away playfully and continued to eat. One bite for her and one for the baby.

"Not what I was talking about."

"Well then you should've been more specific." With a scoff that had Jolisa letting out a squeal, Lisbon accepted his good morning kiss and even let him push her messy hair out of her face. "By the way, you look absolutely beautiful this morning."

"You know that sucking up gets you no special treatment at work, don't you?"

"Meh. Just eat your weird food." She couldn't help but smile a little brighter when he turned his attention to Jojo. "Your Auntie is crazy you know that?"

A loud giggle erupted from the tiny body and the adults couldn't help but join in the happy laughter. It was infectious and refreshing almost. It was easy to slip into a family-esque mode. The pajamas helped as well as the morning sun peeking through the windows and lighting up the kitchen. It all felt oddly nice and Lisbon found herself really looking at Jane as nothing more than Patrick Jane, her husband. She didn't see the consultant or the colleague just the husband.

"Yeah, well I'm sure it won't take her long to find out that her Uncle Patrick is ten times worse." It was the first time anyone had referred to him as 'Uncle Patrick' regarding little Jojo and Lisbon could tell that he loved hearing it. He was the little one's uncle by marriage and she knew that he'd take the role to heart. He loved kids and it was pretty much just a given.

"Just means that I'll be her favorite." As if only to prove his point, Jolisa raised her little arms to reach for him as he poured the Cheerios into the bowl. "See, she's already choosing me over you."

She didn't dignify him by saying anything else, just handed the baby over and went back to eating her food. If he wanted to be mean about it then she'd just ignore him and see how long he could go without her acknowledgement.

"Oh c'mon. I didn't mean anything by it." Apparently not very long. A whole ten seconds and he was already offering her that playful grin that he used when he knew she wasn't really mad. Turning away from him in an attempt to uphold her mock annoyance only gave him the opportunity to lightly tickle her side and have her squirming away.

"Stop it!" Her words were lost on him and he continued to prod her with light fingers until the smile she'd been biting back the entire time finally blossomed on her lips.

"Now was that so hard?" She tried to glare but the attempt failed when he pressed a kiss to her temple. "You see that Jojo; see how mean your Auntie is to me?"

"Oh please! Just eat your food and stop trying to turn her against me. She knows I'm the best because I have crackers and milk and you have boring old Cheerios." Flashing him an teasing grin, Lisbon held out a bite for Jolisa just to prove that she was right and was rewarded when Jojo opened her mouth as wide as she could and clamped down on the spoon like she was starving to death.

"Your brother's okay with us leaving this little treasure with daycare while we're working? He knows right?"

"He knows I work Patrick. It's all been discussed. I'm not completely incapable of making sure he knows who will be taking care of his daughter." Slightly perturbed that he was questioning her in such a manner, she let her eyebrows set in a frown. Hadn't they just been happy go lucky two seconds ago? Why'd he feel the need to ruin it?

"Moody this morning I see. What happened to playful Teresa?"

"She took a hike when her husband decided to point out that he thinks she sucks at childcare." Swallowing the last bite of her crackers and milk, Lisbon carried the bowl to the sink and rinsed it out. He just had to push her buttons. One good morning down the drain because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. Wait, why did she feel like crying?

"I didn't say that. You, my dear, are putting words in my mouth and trying to pick a fight."

"Let's just get ready. I'll take Jojo and get her dressed." He didn't stop her or say anything to apologize but then again, she knew he didn't need to. She was being a little over the top about it and she was simply doing it because she felt like it all of a sudden. Ten minutes ago she'd felt like being happy so she was and now she just didn't feel so happy anymore. She didn't know why but there wasn't time to worry about it. A baby needed changed, dressed and properly fed before they dropped her at daycare for the day and Lisbon needed to get ready for work.

* * *

It was one thing to leave a baby with daycare but it was something else entirely when the baby was crying and clinging to you for dear life. Lisbon had never felt so terrible than when she'd seen that scared look on her niece's face while the woman running the daycare tried to take her. It was heartbreaking but she knew that Jolisa would be fine and that it'd get easier throughout the week but she'd wanted to cry too which wasn't something she'd expected. Just a couple more hours though and she'd be able to go get her. It'd be all better then and she was pretty sure that when she had a baby, she'd definitely cry the first time she had to leave her child with someone.

Jane had offered her comfort in the form of an arm around her waist and she found herself wishing for the touch whilst seated at her desk. Despite being happy earlier that morning and then completely snappy with him, he chose to look the other way and she loved him for that. He put up with her when she wasn't at her best.

Just a few more hours and she could go. Was it completely horrible of her to want to leave early when they had a murder to solve? Probably but she couldn't help it. Glancing at her watch for the fourth time in five minutes she let out a huff and dropped her face into her hands just as someone decided to join her in the once lonely office. Words were expected but silence was all that sounded. Seconds ticked by and it left her getting a little aggravated. She was pretty sure that her husband had killed the good mood she'd been in early that morning.

"Can I help you?" Lisbon was actually in a rather meh mood but she didn't know how long it'd take for it to become one of annoyance with Van Pelt awkwardly standing in front of her desk and saying absolutely nothing.

"Uh, it's just - you really never...what I'm trying to ask,"

"Yes?"

"You and Jane. You really just married him out of nowhere?" Her eyes closed as soon as the words left the young woman's lips. Taking in a deep breath, she slowly opened them again to find that Van Pelt was still staring down at her expectantly. She knew this would come eventually but with no one saying anything over the course of weeks that they'd known, she'd been hoping everyone had simply forgotten that Jane had blabbed such a thing. If she was going to have this conversation with one of her agents then she needed to have it with her boss as well. She'd been avoiding any non-work related run-ins with Hightower over the last month and it was time to stop.

"Are you saying that I did something wrong?"

"No, I just don't understand how you could do that."

"This really isn't appropriate to talk about at work or at all but if you must have an answer then I'll give you the honest one; I thought he was just reaching out for help after the Red John thing. Turns out he wasn't and here we are." An eyebrow arched as Van Pelt continued to stare at her with an uncertain expression. Lisbon was having a hard enough time trying to think of what to say that wouldn't be awkward while also trying to think of a way to break it gently to her boss that she married Jane. "There's work to be done Van Pelt."

"Right, sorry. Oh and uh, Jane has your niece out in the bullpen. He said that you asked him to pick her up from daycare so I thought you might like to know that she's here."

"What? No I didn't." Standing from the chair, Lisbon rounded the desk and opened the door. She needed to see for herself so she'd have legitimate reason to kill her oh-so innocent looking husband. She didn't want Jojo in the CBI HQ while they were working. It wasn't a place that a baby needed to be.

* * *

Settling little Jojo against his chest, Jane leaned back into the sofa and let the tiny one snooze. With a protective hold on her, he let his own eyes close and listened to the sounds of the busy bullpen. Lisbon would probably kill him once she found out that he'd managed to get her niece out of daycare simply because he was bored and expecting to convince the overworked woman to leave in an hour or two. He hadn't planned on Hightower finding out first but before he could drift off, her voice disrupted the pleasant thoughts of sleeping in a bed with his wife and the dark haired one lying on him.

"Well hello, who is this sleepy little one?" It didn't startle Jane that she seemed comfortable around the child since she had children of her own but he was a little taken aback by the scowl on her face. He knew that it probably wasn't the best idea to have a baby hanging around but he figured that with one look at the pretty girl that no one would care.

"Lisbon's niece."

"Agent Lisbon brought her niece to work?" The disbelief and scolding tone mixed quite well and Jane knew he had to do some damage control before his wife ended up being reprimanded for bringing a baby.

"No. She doesn't even know she's here. I broke her out of daycare - such a terrible place for a baby, don't ya think?"

"Patrick..." He felt a great deal of relief at the sound of his name in that exasperated voice that let him know she wasn't blaming Lisbon who happened to stumble into the bullpen right at that moment.

"Jane! What the hell do you think you're doi- oh, uh..." Cheeks flushed once she noticed who else was there. Her back straightened immediately and he couldn't help but be proud of her ability to adjust to the situation. There was no doubt in his mind that he'd hear it later though. The joys of marrying a woman such as Teresa Lisbon. "Ma'am, I can explain..."

"You don't need to. From what I heard, you had no idea she was here." A wary glance in the form of green eyes was cast his way and Jane simply offered a huge smile and rested back into his couch. "Although I expect that you'll be leaving soon to get her home."

"Yes Ma'am." Glaring daggers at Jane, Lisbon ducked her head a little in shame. As if it wasn't bad enough that her boss had decided she was having an affair with Jane, now she was thinking that she let her lover know which daycare her niece had been attending. Great. She couldn't let the twisted web of lies continue to weave; it had to stop. There was no shame in being married to Patrick Jane. Even when she was annoyed at him and slightly pissed there was no reason for her to hide that he was her husband. The rings hanging around her neck shouldn't have to be a mystery to everyone.

Hightower had started to walk away but Lisbon made a bold move and stepped in front of her. Straightening her backbone and lifting her chin, she did something that probably should've waited until there weren't so many people around but for some reason the words just tumbled out and she couldn't stop them.

"I'd like to introduce you to my husband." It was easy to tell that each member of her team - minus Jane - was a little shocked to find out that obviously the identity of the man she'd married had been kept from their boss and Hightower just seemed a little confused by the sudden outburst. She even got to the point of slightly shaking her head and opening her mouth to say something but Lisbon cut her off. If she was going to get in trouble for something then what was the point in upholding the courtesy anyway? "Patrick Jane. I married Jane."

The silence was deafening. It was quite possibly the quietest she'd ever heard the bullpen with so many people in it and Lisbon was actually a little scared once she realized exactly what she'd done but she was just so tired of lying. No one spoke, although Jane had moved from his lazing position to sitting up rather quickly which jarred the baby awake. The first sound to break through was the wail of Jolisa as Jane moved to stand next to his wife.

"I know that I shouldn't have hid something like this and I'm willing to accept whatever punish-"

"Teresa, you didn't have to do that." Tearing her gaze away from the stunned expression on her boss's face, Lisbon softened her eyes and offered her husband a small smile.

"Yes I did, Patrick." He gently squeezed her elbow while simultaneously lightly bouncing Jojo to calm her. Both movements had their desired effect of comfort. Lisbon felt a little better when she returned her attention to where it needed to be but she knew she'd just opened a can of worms. "Jane didn't know that I kept it a secret until just a few days ago."

It was a lie but neither of them clarified and she found it odd that she was suddenly trying to protect him. It'd been weeks since he'd found out about her secrecy but that was a small detail that was frankly no ones business.

"Take your niece home Agent Lisbon. We'll talk about this matter in a more private setting tomorrow morning." Lisbon decided not to push her luck and let the woman in charge walk by when she tried once more; she didn't look _too _angry yet and it'd be great to keep it that way. Feeling a little unsure of herself, Lisbon stood for a few seconds without moving or acknowledging anyone. Why the hell did she feel the need to get it off her chest right then? She really should've taken it somewhere with some privacy.

Suddenly wanting to pound her aching head into the nearest wall, Lisbon let out a sigh and closed her eyes. It'd gone better than she'd expected but why the hell did she do that in front of everyone? She was a private person but she'd just drug her dirty laundry out in front of virtually everyone. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she shook her head and decided it'd be best to obey orders. Reaching for the once again snoozing Jolisa, she offered Jane a quick sad tilt of her lips before heading back to her office to get her things packed up.

She hadn't been fired on the spot so she was hoping that meant her job wasn't in jeopardy but that could simply be wishful thinking on her part. She didn't know for sure what tomorrow would bring but she was really praying that it'd be something tolerabe. Four months of marriage and there was only one person that she hadn't told: Tyler Lisbon. She still dreaded that phone call but since she was trying to undo all the lies and clear up things she might as well deal with him too and at least it was going to be over the phone. She'd give it a few days first.

If they were really going to revisit the topic of kids when they reached six months then she wanted everyone to know what was going on. She didn't want to explain last minute to the world that Jane was the father or that a new family member would be on the way. Perhaps it was due to her moodiness as of late but she felt like she had to get everything troubling out of the way before she brought up having a baby of their own. She also needed to tell Jane exactly why she was so terrified by the thought of having a child when she clearly wanted one. Guts would be needed for that talk and she wasn't sure that she had enough to voice such an irrational fear.

**a/n: For those who have been wondering...I will eventually get a few chapters up where they ARE actually working. Like car scenes, uh family interviews and such but since this isn't a case based fic it'll be all generic stuff so don't expect full on case facts. I can't do that for this one since it skips days and weeks at a time each chapter. The next one however is only set about right after this one. I split it in two since it turned into one really long chapter. We'll see a lot of Jane/Jojo time.**

**Next: **_**"Teresa, sweetheart, what is this?" Glancing down to see him brushing his thumb over her breast, she almost laughed at the surprise in his voice but the slight jolt of discomfort stopped her. **_


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: We've been through this enough to know the drill yes? Good.**

**A/N: This is probably my very last update until I finish up the Secret Santa so I really hope you enjoy this one. No worries about Lisbon getting sick; she's fine I promise. I'm warning now that I'm going to try and update all my other stories after I finish my stories for SSS so this one will be on hold while I get those updated. I included some of Jane's thoughts on them having kids because really we've only seen Lisbon's fears and that six month 'children talk' is creeping up on them.**

**I felt I should say that crackers and milk is actually very (strangely) good. I've been eating it since I was a baby and I'd rather eat it then cereal any day. I blame my dad who was the one who fed it to me. My mom hates it and so does my sister but me and dad love it. Two of my three best friends also really like it and the third just won't try it because it looks gross.**

**The story behind it: when my dad was younger they didn't have much to eat in a house of 5 kids and a single father (this was in the late 1940s) most of the time it was crackers and milk or fried potatoes but anyway there's a fun little fact for you guys.**

Going home early wasn't something that Lisbon was used to doing but it actually wasn't so bad. Hightower hadn't yelled at her...yet, so she wasn't really in a bad mood but she wasn't exactly pleased with Jane for picking Jolisa up early either. It took her all of five minutes being home to feel the exhaustion seeping into her bones. She'd been fighting it lately but sitting on the couch and playing peek-a-boo with her niece had made her realize exactly how tired she'd become. After an hour of being home it became apparent that she was going to bed as early as possible and not moving unless absolutely necessary.

Smiling at the baby sitting on her knees, she found herself thinking of Jane and work. He hadn't been told to leave and though he'd offered to do so anyway, she'd asked him to stay. For some reason he listened and she was left alone with a baby in their apartment. She wasn't scared of being alone with Jojo but it was still a little odd to be home with the sun still shining and a little girl on her lap that had her eye and hair color.

The giggles and happy squeals echoing through the living room had Lisbon smiling and chuckling along with the nine month old. She felt lighter than she had before she'd blurted out that Jane was her husband. Her chest seemed to be less weighted down and the burden was gone. It was nice to know that she didn't need to hide things any longer and while that didn't mean she was going to start making out in dark corners with him or anything, it meant that she didn't have to watch her words. She'd been terrified of Hightower finding out through a slip of the tongue so it felt great not to have to worry about that anymore.

"Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma..." The babbles continued and erupted into another high pitched squeal when Lisbon tickled her tummy.

"You are such a happy little thing aren't ya?" Unable to resist the urge, she ran her hand over the soft hair atop Jolisa's head. The feel of it beneath her fingers gave all new meaning to the term 'silky'. With each stroke of her hand over the short dark strands Jojo's eyes drooped. She still kept smiling and giggling but she was definitely tired. Her nap had been interrupted earlier. "Tired baby."

She'd already fed the little one, though more food ended up on her than in Jolisa's belly. She was sure of it but she'd tried and Jojo seemed happy. She'd already changed her and it seemed as though the overall covered baby just needed a good nap. She wasn't to the stage of being cranky but Lisbon knew it'd be coming soon. The idea of a nap sounded too good to pass up and with determined strides, she moved from the couch and carried the baby up to the bedroom.

It would take Jane to put up the playpen since she ultimately failed with the stupid thing. Fighting with it just angered her so she'd have him do it when he got home but until then she was letting her niece sleep in her bed. As long as she put her in the middle and draped an arm over her then she couldn't roll away and fall off. Without even noticing she began to hum halfway up the stairs and continued until she was gently placing Jolisa on the mattress. The pink and orange flowered outfit stood out against her bedding but strangely looked as though it belonged and Lisbon wondered briefly if she'd make a good mother. The thought seemed to come out of nowhere but she contemplated it anyway while stripping down to just her shirt and undies.

She didn't bother with the blankets when she collapsed next to the tiny body with the smiling face; it was too warm. It was one of those scorching days that left the apartment stuffy despite it having an air conditioner.

"Ma-ma-ma-ma-"

"Shh, pretty girl." With a soft smile she tucked the baby into her chest and stroked over her back in a soothing manner. The droopy eyes continued to slowly close and then they'd open wide again and she'd smile in an attempt to fight sleep. It amused Lisbon more than anything else but she tired herself and she didn't want to fall asleep without knowing that her niece was sleeping as well.

The tiredness cramping in her body had her curling her knees up a little to alleviate some pressure she'd been feeling all dayin her abdomen as she started to hum again. The humming became words before she realized it and the song was one that her mother used to sing. It was comforting and had both girls in the bed drifting off into slumber with ease. Lisbon had tried to stay awake but she was just too exhausted. She knew that Jane would probably wake her when he made it home so she gave in to the pull of sleep rather quickly. As soon as she saw that Jolisa's eyes were closed and staying that way, she'd let herself succumb.

* * *

It'd been a good three hours since Lisbon took Jolisa home when Jane finally inserted his key into the lock and twisted the doorknob. After stepping inside and dropping his keys to the table, he took a look around and noticed that two things were missing. His wife and niece were nowhere to be seen - it felt good to acknowledge little Jolisa as his niece as well as Lisbon's.

"Teresa?" Her car was in it's usual space so he knew that she'd indeed come home and when there was no answer, he immediately headed up the stairs. "Honey?"

He knew she still wasn't quite used to terms of endearment but he'd break her in eventually. She'd come around and she'd already stopped trying to get him to quit using them. They were staying because he liked to use them on her and yet again there was no answer. He knew exactly what had happened before he even made it to the bedroom. His suspicions were only confirmed when he looked through the open door and saw the two females in question curled up and facing him in the big bed.

Rounding the mattress, he stepped quietly while shrugging off his jacket and vest. It was clear by the lack of blankets that the wear for the evening was extreme casual, bordering on inappropriate if the black undies and bare legs had anything to say about it. He wasn't complaining; he rather liked the view of her legs and that small strip of stomach that showed where her shirt had ridden up. The only problem was that her skin always looked so tempting and warm. She was always warm in his hands but he knew that he couldn't do anything when there was a baby around. It didn't stop him from appreciating the view of her hair fanning out across the pillow or the way her lips were slightly parted.

There was a little puddle of drool didn't go unnoticed and he knew there was no doubt he loved the woman when he thought seeing her drooling on 'his' pillow was cute. Normally she wasn't one to drool and it wasn't hard to deduce from the facts that she was actually very tired. He'd known for a few days that she'd been acting and even looking rather worn down but he hadn't said anything. She was the type to take offense to such a statement and with the way she'd been snapping at him lately he wasn't about to risk a fight over something as simple as sleeping habits.

He watched her carefully for a few long seconds as he unbuttoned his shirt and let it drop to the floor; there were circles under her eyes, although they seemed to be lighter than they had been and he knew that was from what little sleep she was managing right then. He didn't know how long the nap had been going on but he wasn't going to wake them. He was simply changing into pajama pants and a shirt and then he'd leave them to rest. That was the plan but of course just minutes after he'd shed his slacks and was pulling on the pair of black sweats, Jolisa started to wiggle. He froze and watched as she kicked her legs and raised her arms over her head to stretch. The movements didn't even cause Lisbon to stir which again showed how out of it she truly was.

He remembered clearly the first time they'd watched Jolisa and any small sound or movement from the baby had jolted her awake instantly. This time she was zonked and the small one's waking movements didn't seem to disturb her at all.

Quickly tugging on a shirt, he leaned over his wife and once his arms were through the sleeves, he reached for Jojo just as her eyes fluttered open. Not even taking the baby from her arms woke her and for a few seconds he stared down at the beautiful woman with a frown on his face. He couldn't decide whether he should wake her to see if she was okay or just leave her be. With his free hand, he tucked her hair behind her ear and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek before deciding to just let her rest.

With Jojo tucked into him, he quietly padded out of the room in search for the diaper bag. No offence to the little one but she smelled a bit ripe and he was sure she'd probably appreciate a clean diaper.

"Let's get you all cleaned up shall we?" Wide green eyes stared up at him as he headed for the couch. She didn't seem too impressed by the suggestion but she didn't know what the heck he was talking about either so he couldn't really blame her. "Did you and Auntie Reeses have a good nap?"

The words coaxed a smile from the baby as he unsnapped the buttons on her floral print onesie. They made him smile too; Lisbon would kill him if she found he was referring to her as 'Auntie Reeses' around her niece. He'd be sure to keep that tidbit of information strictly between himself and Jolisa. He doubted she'd rat him out since she couldn't actually say anything more than simple syllables. Perhaps there something a bit odd about taking pleasure in changing a diaper but it'd reminded him of when his daughter was a baby and even though Jolisa looked nothing like his little princess it still managed to strike a nerve.

He remembered the late night changings and the potty training. He remembered it all and even though he wasn't always there when he should have been, he had loved his daughter. She'd been so innocent and questioned everything from why the sky was blue to why her barbies didn't talk like the ones in the barbie movies. Funny how changing a diaper could make him think of all that. With Jojo around it was almost as if he had a family again and that's what he was longing for - not to replace the one he'd lost but to build something more permanent with his wife.

He wanted to see her pregnant, wanted to see her face the first time she held 'their' baby in her arms. He wanted the diaper changing and potty training again because he was going to do it right this time. He was going to always be around. No late nights and missed milestones because of a talk show or his fake powers. He knew he could convince her when they had their talk about kids again. Two more months and he'd be able to tell her all the reasons that he wanted to start a family with her and he was hoping that she'd tell him the real reason why she was so apprehensive about it.

"Y'know Jojo, maybe in a few months I'll be able to talk her into giving you a little cousin to have fun with. What do you say to that huh?" Unable to resist the sight of her tummy, Jane leaned down, let his mouth rest just above her belly button and blew a raspberry against her skin which sent her into a fit of giggles. Her small hands grabbed for his hair as the squeals continued. The sound of a baby laughing was something that could warm hearts and leave smiles on faces, he loved hearing it.

"Da-da-da-da-" Ah, yes, the cute babbles. He remembered those as well and the cooing that generally came with them. They'd have the delightful bundle for a full seven days and Jane knew that by then, he'd be reluctant for it to return to just being him and Lisbon. It wasn't even the end of day one and he was already thinking that a trip to the toy store would be needed although her daddy had packed plenty. What kind of uncle would he be if he didn't at least get her some toys?

Getting Jojo to let go of his hair was a bit of a challenge but nothing new for him and once she'd relinquished the grip, he finished redressing her and picked her up. The sloppy kiss he placed on her cheek had her giggling again and he found himself chuckling. She was such a happy little baby, very content to just be. Dropping the diaper into the trash on the way to the kitchen, he began thinking of things for dinner. It'd be nice if he could get something started before Lisbon woke. A good meal might do her some good, give her some energy.

Holding Jolisa in one arm, he contemplated whether or not he'd be able to manage while carrying her around. He didn't want to risk her getting burned on anything and really he needed both hands. Glancing around, he let his gaze settle on the pack-n-play over by the door. A playpen would be amazing and it'd keep him from having to wake Lisbon. Making sure to watch her closely, he set Jojo in the floor and went about pulling the thing out of the carrying bag. He remembered the last time they'd watched the baby and Lisbon had fought with the playpen. It'd been rather amusing but there was a trick to these things so you didn't need to kick them or curse at them. He'd show her one day but until then, he'd do the work.

Jolisa was crawling around, grabbing onto things in an attempt to pull herself up into a standing position as he locked each side of playpen. He kept an eye on her to make sure she didn't grab hold of something that would fall on her or injure her in any way. In the three minutes it took him to get the playpen standing, she'd ended up holding onto the couch. His heart beat rather quickly when he realized that she could fall into the coffee table. With quick strides, he rushed over to her and plucked her up before her wobbly legs failed her and sent her backwards.

"Okay, let's get you some toys to play with while I cook Auntie Reeses something to eat." Hugging her little body to his chest, Jane found himself considering how things would go between Hightower and Lisbon in the morning. He hadn't been invited to the little party but he was thinking about joining them anyway. "Here we go."

Placing Jojo in the playpen, he waited a few seconds to see how she'd react before grabbing some toys out of the bag for her. A frog that lit up and played a little tune, a rattle with Winnie the Pooh on it and several other things that seemed to make her happy. He liked how content she was to just play with her things while he walked away. She wasn't the type to start crying immediately or want to be held all the time. Her relaxed attitude came in handy at times such as this. He planned to make spaghetti and he needed two hands to make the sauce.

"Such a good baby. Yeah. Pretty and happy to match." She was babbling to him as he grabbed some pans from the cabinet. "No dating until you're fifty though. I'll need to speak to your dad about that as well."

He got a disgruntled sounding growl as a reply and had to smile at the little frown on her face. She really was just too cute. He wondered if she resembled what Lisbon looked like as a baby.

"Okay, okay, I'll settle for thirty-five but that's as low I'm going kid." It had always amazed him how babies could go from frowning one second to smiling the next. Maybe Jolisa was just having mood swings like her dear aunt. Smirking to himself he set about finding an onion to chop; he was pretty sure they'd bought some on their last trip to the store.

He found one that fit his standards in the cabinet next to the sink, and a good sized tomato had been pulled from the fridge. He'd always liked chopping things for some reason. He found it relaxing and even more so when he was actually cooking something for someone special. Knife in hand, he turned away from Jolisa to start on the onion. Peering back over his shoulder a few times just to make sure she was still amused with her toys, he almost cut his thumb but thankfully missed once he glanced back down. His favorite part of cooking was adding the ingredients together to make something tasty but he only managed to get the onion chopped into fine shreds and then his concentration was interrupted by a pair of arms snaking around his waist.

Dropping the sharp kitchen utensil, he turned to face the one holding him captive and was met by the sight of a sleepy eyed Lisbon. He resisted the urge to laugh at the way her hair was messed up on one side while the other still looked perfectly groomed. She was adorable when she just woke. The pout her lips were set in had him wanting nothing more than to kiss her and the sluggish movements she made had him chuckling.

Settling his hands on her hips, Jane pulled her closer until their bodies were touching but was in no way expecting for her to close the distance between their mouths for a drawn out kiss. The move startled him a little but he was responding to the soft caress seconds after the initial contact. It was still interesting for him whenever she was the one to make the first move but he chose not to question any of it and when her tongue darted out to coax his lips to part, he bit back a groan and gave her the access she wanted. Who was he to deny her?

Melting into the moment they both shared a sigh - breaths mingling - as the compassionate meeting of lips slowly came to an end. A short sweet kiss followed, and then another just as short before she pulled away and opened her eyes. She stole the air from his lungs every time he saw her pretty greens filled with love and desire - standing there in the kitchen, that's exactly what he saw in her gaze.

"Well hello to you too. Good nap?" A soft smile was added to her disheveled sleepy appearance as she nodded and threaded her fingers through his hair.

"I'm really sorry for being snappy with you lately."

"Apology accepted. You're okay though right? There's nothing wrong, is there?"

"No, I'm fine. I've just been feeling really drained of energy and I guess it makes me cranky." There was a lightness in her tone that hadn't been there since their playful morning in that very kitchen. Even then, she'd quickly turned rather grouchy in just seconds and he was hoping that didn't happen again.

"I'm making spaghetti. It'll be awhile so why don't you go take a hot bath and I'll come get you when it's finished." Her smile grew as she leaned in to give him a chaste kiss in thanks. Unable to resist, he ran one hand through her hair - all the way to the ends which rested against her chest. It was getting so long and he absolutely loved it but instead of her moving closer, she moved away with a scrunched expression on her face. He brushed her bangs to the side and let his thumb trace over the line forming between her eyebrows.

* * *

The touch had almost hurt. There'd been a definite jolt that left Lisbon jerking back from the touch of his fingers against her breast. She'd known as soon as she done it that he'd noticed and the way he caressed her face only proved it to be true. For a few long seconds, he just stared and then his hand moved back down. With a gentle movement, he brushed her hair aside and then tried to lift the hem of her shirt.

"Patrick! There's a baby." As if knowing that she was being talked about Jolisa dropped the toy she'd been chewing on and clapped her hands together in excitement.

"Your back is to her, just humor me." With a roll of her eyes, she let him lift her shirt to reveal the sensible bra she'd slipped on early that morning. A bruise was visible right above the fabric covering her but she knew that wasn't the cause of the uncomfortable ache.

"Teresa, sweetheart, what is this?" Glancing down to see him brushing his thumb over her breast, she almost laughed at the surprise in his voice but the slight jolt of discomfort stopped her.

"A bruise genius."

"From?" Recalling the tiny hand pinching her skin wasn't exactly pleasant but Lisbon found herself thinking of the way it'd hurt. More than it normally would thanks to the ever amazing impending monthly friend.

"Jolisa decided to pinch me this morning." He was staring at her chest and she knew that he wanted to ask something. "They're kind of tender this week - both of them - so if you could stop touching it'd be great."

She wasn't angry. She'd said it as softly and nicely as possible and he'd moved his touch to her waist as soon as it registered in his head that she meant her breasts in general ached and not just the bruise. She'd noticed the sensitivity a few days ago and was hoping she'd just start her period soon to get it over with. She hated the symptoms. The headaches, the cramps, the slight tenderness in her breasts; it was not something she - or any woman for that matter - enjoyed.

"I'll be in the bath." He gave her soft kiss and let her go. Lisbon was actually a little surprised that he hadn't commented on the fact that she was running around with no pants on but he hadn't.

Stopping briefly to lightly stroke Jolisa's dark hair, she gave the girl a smile before continuing up the stairs. When she'd woke alone in the bed she'd panicked once realizing that the baby wasn't beside her but then she'd heard noises from down stairs and the fear that something had happened simply disappeared. She also woke feeling horrible for the way she'd been acting towards her husband. The moodiness was something awful this month.

Running a hand through her hair, she made a face at the feel of it and made another one upon seeing it in the bathroom mirror. She looked horrible and tired. She really hoped she wasn't getting sick again. She didn't bother closing the door, just pulled her shirt over her head and let it drop. He'd said he was coming up to get her when the food was done anyway so there really wasn't a point.

The bra was the next to go and the discomfort it caused had her second guessing things. Maybe there was something wrong. Stepping out of her undies, she closed the lid on the toilet and sat for a few seconds to think. Her moodiness, the light cramping in her lower abdomen and the tenderness of her breasts had her sucking her bottom lip between her teeth. Chewing lightly she thought of other things too, like the headaches. Mostly it pointed to a monthly visit but when she actually counted back to her last period the color drained from her face and her eyes widened.

"Oh no." She was beyond late. She was epically late. She wasn't stupid; she knew that most early signs of pregnancy mimicked the symptoms of an upcoming monthly cycle. Not to mention the few things she'd chalked up to just weird occurances. The way the smell of pancakes now left her nauseated being one example and the fatigue being another. "No, no, no, no."

Surely she wasn't pregnant. They'd been careful but she knew that didn't always work. That'd be her luck, to have unprotected sex and not get pregnant then have sex with protection and boom, baby. She couldn't do this, there was no way she was ready. Yeah, she'd been more comfortable with the idea lately but she'd been planning to have a couple more months to really think about it. She'd already been through the suspense of not knowing once, hadn't that been enough? She didn't want to go through it again. She hated being left in the dark about anything. Glancing down and rubbing a hand low on her stomach - lower than low - she tried to stop the tears from gathering in her eyes but her attempts were futile.

Unable to even think, she didn't manage to turn on the water or even plug the tub. Her legs felt as though they wouldn't hold her if she tried to stand and she didn't have the desire to even try. This was probably just her overactive imagination playing with her but then again if there was a baby growing inside of her then she needed to know. Leaning forward to bury her face in her hands, she remembered the tests she'd bought. They'd only used one back then which meant there was another still unopened.

Early morning was the best time to take a pregnancy test and it was only eight or nine. She could've taken it then but she wanted the most accurate result possible and if the directions said to wait till morning then she'd wait. One am was considered early morning right? She'd been scared like this before, so had Jane and then they'd been disappointed and relieved together. She didn't want that to happen this time. She didn't want him to know until she was sure one way or the other.

It was decided. She'd sneak into the bathroom to take the test alone and if she wasn't pregnant then no harm done. If she was, well then she'd have to find a way to let him know but since she probably wasn't it didn't matter. It actually did though because she wasn't so sure that it'd come back negative or in this case 'not pregnant'. Why couldn't anything just go according to plan for once? They weren't supposed to think about babies for another two months yet there she was sitting naked in the bathroom with her head in her hands and thoughts of being pregnant running through her mind.

**a/n: *coughs* Yeah, well y'know I just have to leave the ending like that.**

**Next: _"Teresa, I was thinking that we should take Jojo toy shopping today."_**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: Well...I still don't own it but I did get a new bike. :)**

**A/N: Well guys, here's the new chapter. I hope you like the way it all turned out, I really wanted this chapter to be a pivotal one and I'm pretty sure the first word will explain that easily. Funny little coincidence here, I wrote this while babysitting my nephew, Grayson and having a conversation with my mother about me having a baby before I'm 23. I love my mother. She had my older sister when she was 21 and my older sister had Grayson when she was 21 so my mother thinks I'm going to have a baby when I'm 21 due to this 'family curse'...again I love my mother. Anyway, onto the story.**

Pregnant. Four tests and all read the same result. Lisbon had taken one at home - the only one they'd had left - and then she'd went out and bought more on her lunch break just to see what they'd say. Jane didn't know about any of them but four tests all came back positive. So many emotions had washed over her as well as a wave of nausea. She wasn't necessarily upset and it was kind of exciting but she just didn't _know _what to feel and it could have been a mistake or in this case four mistakes. In all honesty, she was living in denial and hoping it'd all been a dream. The doctor's appointment she had for the end of the week couldn't come soon enough and yet it was too close. It would tell her what she needed to know, although four tests were pretty telling but for now all she could do was wait and think of some way to let Jane know.

Of all the things in the world that Teresa Lisbon had thought she'd have done in just a little over four months time, getting married and becoming pregnant were nowhere on the list - especially the latter. A stray tear fell when she remembered sneaking into their bathroom and taking the first pregnancy test but she wiped it away quickly and returned her attention to the road. Jane was seated next to her in the passenger seat and she didn't want to explain why she was on the verge of becoming a blubbering fool, especially with a baby in the backseat. The results had plagued her work day and made it yet another where she couldn't focus on much besides her meeting with Hightower. The one in which she wasn't really reprimanded because Jane was technically a civilian and not an agent. It was frowned upon but not forbidden and although her boss made it clear that she wasn't pleased, there was ultimately nothing she could do.

Being in the doghouse at work was the last thing on her mind but it was still lingering there in the back. After all, what was she supposed to do when her pregnancy became public? She'd need to inquire about maternity leave - oh God, Hightower was just gonna love that - and she was getting ahead of herself. Why was she torturing herself while driving home? It was almost as bad as when she was actually awaiting the results.

It'd been worse than the first time - the waiting. Probably because she'd done it alone while her husband caught a few hours of sleep and then alone again in a bathroom stall. It was horrible but she'd done it; she'd paced the entire time but she'd waited the three minutes and then shakily lifted the plastic up to read it and each time there was one word staring back at her. In the midst of a red light and remembering the way she'd felt reading that one life changing word for the first time, a warm hand squeezed her thigh and drew her attention to the man sitting next to her.

"Teresa, I was thinking that we should take Jojo toy shopping today." Unable to form words, she simply stared at him for a few seconds but turned back just as the light turned green. "Are you alright?"

"Hm, yeah, I'm fine. Toy shopping? We can do that."

"You're doing that thing you do when you're worried or nervous. What's wrong?" Shooting a glance at the rear view mirror to see her snoozing niece, Lisbon pretended that she didn't hear him. She wasn't about to tell him such big news while maneuvering through evening traffic. "Teresa..."

"Where do you want to go? I was thinking Toys'R'Us but there's always Wal-Mart and we could use a few groceries."

"Alright, I'll let it go for now. Wal-Mart this trip, but next time we're taking her to Toys'R'Us." A small sigh of relief escaped her lungs. Another bullet dodged for the time being and their destination was only a couple blocks away. She planned to tell him before the night was over - she'd never keep something like this from him for very long - but she wanted to do so while at home. She was comfortable at home and it'd be easier to just come out and say those two words.

It wasn't until they were actually walking into the store with Jolisa chattering in Jane's arms that Lisbon felt guilty for keeping it from him for pretty much the whole day. It was after six which meant she'd known for over twelve hours and it had started to tug at her. And to think, she'd actually contemplated not telling him until after the appointment at the end of the week. That would've meant two more days of silence and she'd figured out within the first two hours after taking the first test that she couldn't handle it.

"Uh, I'm gonna use the restroom. I'll catch up, okay?"

"We'll be in the toys, won't we Jojo?" Offering a somewhat apologetic smile, she excused herself in the direction of the women's bathroom while Jane placed Jolisa in the cart and headed to the toy section. She was starting to panic a bit and she'd been wondering all day when it would finally hit her full on. She was most likely - she was still in denial - carrying a baby in her womb and she had yet to tell the father. This had the potential to bite her in the ass but she was going to tell him as soon as she figured out how best to approach the subject.

She didn't need to use the bathroom; she was just looking for an excuse and thankfully he hadn't questioned it but the guilt she felt the entire short walk to the door had her paranoid enough to think every person who glanced her direction just _knew. _She wasn't the fierce leader here, nor the lead agent; she was just a woman who probably looked a bit suspicious with her head down and practically running through the bathroom door.

One of the sinks was where she stopped, resting her hands on both sides of it and staring into the mirror. It was almost as if she was trying to have a staring competition with her reflection but after a few seconds, she shifted around to let one hand stroke down her stomach and come to a stop low on her abdomen. When they got home and put Jojo to bed, she'd tell him but not before then. Allowing just a few more seconds to compose herself, she blew a thin stream of air between her lips, rubbed over the lower portion of her belly twice and then headed back out to face Jane.

That had been her intention anyway but the walk back to the toys happened to bypass the baby section and before she could even think about stopping herself, she cut a quick right and landed in the middle of everything baby. Little shoes, little clothes, little diapers and a whole row of cribs surrounded her but it didn't send her heading for the hills. Quite the opposite actually; her fingers were toying with the foot of a sleeper that was covered in little green frogs and a hint of a smile had taken over her lips. It was just so cute and tiny that she couldn't help but feel the stress and worry leave her body for the moment.

Letting go of the fabric, Lisbon let her eyes settle on the baby swings. She didn't walk closer but simply stared at them all for a few minutes before turning back to the rack of sleepers obviously intended for boys. Everything was blue, green, or brown and one even said 'Daddy's lil man'. She couldn't help but be drawn more to the items for girls. It made sense though; she'd been raised with boys and she really liked the thought of one day having a daughter. The only thing that weighed heavily on her mind was Jane's reaction if she were to have a girl. Perhaps it was wrong of her but she just didn't think he could handle it as well as he seemed to think he could.

In the midst of her thoughts, a hand grasped her shoulder causing her heart skipped a beat and her body jerked in the opposite direction. Her hand flew to where her holster generally sat out of reflex despite the gun being locked up in the car.

"Hey, easy there tiger." The familiar sparkling eyes did nothing to calm her racing heart. Why did Jane have the awesome ability of showing up when and where she didn't want him to? "Aw, that's adorable, darling but you've got the wrong size. Jojo isn't a newborn."

Confusedly glancing down, Lisbon realized that she'd grabbed the lavender sleeper covered in teddy bears from its hanging place and was clutching it in her hands. He was right; the tag said newborn but she hadn't even noticed she was holding it till he said something. In her defense, she hadn't exactly had Jojo in mind when she was browsing the clothes.

"Did you want to get it for her? I'm sure we can find one..."

"I thought you were looking for toys."

"We stopped here first to look for a walker. Jojo thinks we need one." Raising an eyebrow skeptically, she chose not to hide her smirk at the thought of Jojo deciding they needed a baby walker. "I've been calling your name for a good five minutes."

"I was spaced out a bit I guess, sorry." Hanging the purple piece of clothing back on the rack, she simultaneously smiled at her niece to avoid Jane's questioning gaze.

"Are you planning on telling me what's wrong or are we slipping back into that stage where you hide everything?" His words were like a slap in the face and it took just seconds for her to grab the cart from him with the intention of walking away.

"We're not doing this in public and certainly not in front of Jolisa but for what it's worth, I'm not _hiding _anything. I just want to wait until we're home. Now let's go find some toys before this little princess decides to get hungry and cranky." Just to spite her, Jojo clapped and giggled the whole trek back to the toys whilst her husband seemed to be giving her some sort of silent treatment accompanied by staring.

"You really aren't okay, are you?"

"Patrick..." Why couldn't he just leave it alone until they made it home? There was a baby to tend to who happened to be patting her hand and babbling, happily unaware of the emotions floating between the adults. "I'm fine - better than fine I think. Now are you gonna help me pick out some toys for Jojo?"

* * *

It was almost eight when they made it through the front door with four new toys and a few groceries such as milk, eggs, crackers and pancake mix. Lisbon had blatantly protested the pancakes but hadn't been able to actually tell him why so he'd placed them into the cart and she grumbled. The smell of pancakes made her feel sick but she couldn't tell him why at the time so ultimately they'd paid for something that she had every intention of misplacing.

By the time Jojo was fed, bathed, and sleeping on Jane's chest, it was almost nine and even the adults were dressed in night clothes. The little one was exhausted and Lisbon could only feel the same but she knew that she couldn't go to bed without letting him know they were having a baby. Even though she was waiting until her appointment to say anything definite - after four tests, she was pretty sure what the doctor would say - she would admit to _feeling _pregnant. It sounded crazy but she just felt different. It was hard to put it into words so she didn't try and there really was no point since she was about to tell her husband that she was carrying his baby.

Her heart was starting to pound in her chest and her palms were sweaty but she was going to do it - just not with him lying on the couch and Jojo sleeping cuddled into him. Plus there was something that she wanted to do first.

"Why don't you take her upstairs and put her in the playpen? We can talk after that, I promise." It wouldn't be quite that quickly but only because she had an idea and she wanted to be comfortable.

"If you fall asleep while I'm gone, I'm waking you up." With a roll of the eyes, she nodded to let him know that she expected no less. Watching him carry a baby up the stairs sent her heart into another fit of rapid beating and she had to turn away from the sight to think of something besides what it'd be like when it was their child sleeping in his arms. She had a task to complete before he came back down and she needed to hurry.

First things first, she had to dig out the blue comforter that had become known as 'the pallet'. He had no clue that she was doing such a thing but she just wanted him to know that she was really putting an effort into telling him something important instead of leaving it up to him to pretty much drag it out of her. It took a few minutes for her to find it but once she'd located it in the cabinet above the dryer, she pulled it down and tucked the big blanket under her arm. Using her free hand to grab a few pillows, she smiled and blew her bangs out of her eyes.

Perhaps she shouldn't have been so proud of herself for managing to find a bedding set but she couldn't help it; she was setting it all up for him and that was what had her feeling a little more relaxed than she had been all day. She was actually getting a bit excited about the fact that she'd be telling him she was pregnant but she was still scared. It wasn't necessarily from telling him but more from the thought of being a mom.

As neatly as possible, she spread the comforter across the living room floor and dropped the pillows on top of it. Her perfectionist side chose to come out due to the impending conversation she was about to have and she was fine with using blanket straightening as an excuse to get her mind off of it for just a few seconds but the excuse only lasted so long. Thinking of different ways to tell him, Lisbon dropped to her knees in the middle of the pallet and waited for him to come back. She was still running through scenarios in her head when he descended the stairs to once again join her.

"The pallet huh, what's the occasion?" Patting the empty space next to her, she chose to wait until he wasn't looming over her to answer his lighthearted inquiry. She felt exposed the second he was seated next to her and his eyes caught hers in an intense stare that neither seemed comfortable breaking. She didn't feel exposed due to the fact that she was only sporting his button down shirt but due to his eyes emotionally stripping her of her defenses. She didn't really need them for this but that wasn't the point. She felt naked and scared. Feelings like those were something she hated. "Wanna tell me what has you looking so nervous?"

"Patrick," His hand moved to cover hers and his other stroked up and down her arm. It was an attempt at calming her but the only thing the gentle touches accomplished would have been the fluttery feel in her stomach. "I-I..."

"Is this something good or bad?"

"Good, I think. I hope so anyway. I mean I don't know if I'm ready but..."

"Teresa, you're rambling." His voice was soft and melodic, very soothing and she closed her eyes to soak it all in. A deep breath and then she opened them again to face him, to see his eyes when the words finally made it off her tongue.

"I'm pregnant." There was a lengthy pause in which she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth to gnaw on with worry and he continued to just stare at her. She wasn't sure what he was feeling in that moment and his eyes gave nothing away. She couldn't handle the fact that there was no emotion on his face or that he hadn't uttered one single syllable. Just when she'd convinced herself to be somewhat happy, he wasn't responding. "Patrick, will you say something? Please?"

He didn't say anything. No words left his mouth but before she could even feel a sting in her chest at his behavior, his arms were wrapped tightly around her and his lips were pressing warm kisses to her cheek and neck. The tears she'd been holding back rose to the surface but she didn't feel upset and it probably helped that he was whispering something that she couldn't make out. She wasn't quite to the point of being comfortable with the idea of being pregnant but she wasn't in denial anymore either and when she heard the distinct 'I love you' in her ear, she knew they'd be fine.

Trails of wet slipped over her cheeks as her arms moved up to clasp his shirt. He was holding her to him, gently tangling one of his hands in her hair and burying his nose in the dark tresses.

"We're having a baby?" The feel of his warm breath against her ear and the way he sounded so amazed at the revelation had Lisbon shifting closer. She didn't feel as terrified wrapped up in him but she needed to tell him something else. It was the real reason she was so apprehensive about having kids and it was something that had haunted her for years. "I suspected but I never thought..."

"I t-took four tests and I have an appointment in two days to confirm."

It was her turn to show some affection and as soon as he pulled back, she gave him a soft kiss on the lips to show that she wasn't crying for a bad reason. The tears were mostly a mix between happy tears and frightened tears but in no way was she sad or angry about having a baby. Unable to keep her lip from trembling, she pressed her face into his chest and only after inhaling the scent of him through his pajama top did she feel like it was time to bury what was left of her fears and move forward with the future.

The water pooling in her eyes, spilled over faster as the tears soaked through the fabric and she felt her shoulders begin to shake. The silent sobs seemed to confuse Jane and he spent the better part of ten minutes whispering reassurances in her ear and trying to convince her that it'd be okay and that a baby wasn't a mistake for them. He obviously hadn't pieced together the reason for her fists clutching his shirt so tightly that she was sure it'd leave permanent wrinkles. He rubbed her back trying to soothe her but the thoughts kept haunting her. She had to put it to rest. Her face stayed hidden against his neck but her words were watery yet clear.

"P-Patrick, you have to promise...you have to promise me that you won't be him." Pausing to sniffle, she desperately tried to get closer to the man she loved to hide how bothered she truly was. "If something happens to me, I need to know that you won't do what my father did."

"Oh Teresa, shh. Nothing is gonna happen to you." The sincerity in his tone had her gripping tighter with one hand while letting the other move to his jaw as she pulled back. As irrational as it seemed, she'd always been okay with not having children because if she didn't have them then no one was left to deal with the grief if something happened to her and although she knew that not every man was her father, she still had that fear. She didn't want her kids to grow up the way she did but she wasn't insinuating that Jane would hurt them in any way, she just needed to hear him promise.

"That's not even the point, just tell me that you won't become a self pitying drunk who beats his kids and never remembers. I just need to hear-"

"This is why you've been so closed off every time babies make their way into conversations. You're scared and rightly so but I think you're more afraid of you becoming your father. You're not him Teresa, neither am I and I'd never hurt my kids." There was no need to tell him that he was right; he already knew and seemed to understand that she was simply trying to banish the last of her worries. She didn't want to be constantly thinking of the worst while pregnant. "We're really having a baby?"

"According to four pregnancy tests. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before taking them, I just needed some time."

"S'okay, doesn't matter." The brush of his thumbs over her cheeks had her feeling lighter than before and a smile tugged at her lips when one of his hands drifted down. Maybe a baby would bring them even closer, maybe he really was okay with having more children. "How long have you known?"

"Since about two o'clock this morning. I wanted to be sure before I told you but I didn't want to wait two more days."

"Well I don't know about you but after four positives, I'm pretty sure." The grin on his face was a sly one and the hand he was trailing along the buttons of the shirt she was wearing suddenly stopped just below her breasts to lightly push against her. She knew what he wanted and didn't even try to protest before leaning herself back into one of the pillows. Lying back until she was completely stretched out, she wiped the last of the wetness from her eyes and sucked in a sharp breath when his fingers unsnapped the first button.

The second followed, and then third. She didn't say anything to stop him and when he finished the task and pulled the fabric apart to reveal what was beneath, a shiver coursed through her. The air felt rather cool and although he didn't strip her of the shirt completely, her bra and panties didn't exactly provide warmth to her front.

"Patrick,"

"We've been so careful; I wonder when it happened." She was actually wondering the same thing and almost said as much but the feel of his fingers against her skin stopped her. His eyes locked with hers as his hand traveled over her navel to rest at the waistband of her panties. They stayed there, just stroking along and in that moment she felt like they were a family. In two days when the doctor told them that she was indeed expecting, then she'd let herself feel the full force of being part of something good and being a family. "Well I guess we don't need to have that baby talk on our six month anniversary, do we?"

"It'd be kinda pointless now." Nodding his agreement, Jane's mouth pressed to her forehead and then each cheek. A sigh left her parted lips when he continued the downward path to her neck, across her collar bone, before starting a trail down her stomach. The caress of his warm lips only lasted a second before moving but the touch was so soft and loving that she found herself wondering why she'd ever thought their marriage was nothing but a sham.

His kisses continued, each one closer to where his hand was resting and when he moved around to settle between her thighs, she felt her body flush. His mouth finally replaced his hand and she thought she might tear up again. He didn't kiss her lower abdomen just once but several times in the same spot and when he stopped, he rested his cheek against her and said nothing as her hand drifted to toy with his wayward curls. The position they were in made her a little uncomfortable but it wasn't meant to be anything sexual and she knew that. It wasn't her fault that her body was reacting to the way he had his head resting above a very private area. It didn't help much that her legs were loosely wrapped around his back and shoulders to keep him there. It looked as though they'd been wrestling or enjoying oral sex but they'd never actually done either.

Lisbon didn't say anything to make him move; she didn't want to break the bubble that had formed around them and she knew he was just taking it all in. They continued to lie there in the silence, her hand moving through his hair and his lightly stroking her thigh. She watched him close his eyes and occasionally press a kiss to her skin for a good five minutes before a random thought entered her mind and begged to be voiced.

"Can we throw out the pancake mix?"

"What?" He didn't raise his head from it's resting place and she kind of liked that he seemed content to lay in such an intimate position with nothing in mind other than thoughts of a baby.

"The smell of pancakes makes me feel sick to my stomach but I didn't say anything because I knew you'd question it and I didn't want to tell you until we had the privacy of our home. So can we?"

"Instead of wasting money, why don't we just agree to not cook pancakes instead of throwing it all away?"

"I suppose we could do that but I swear if you make pancakes just one time, I'm shooting you." He nuzzled her then, lightly nipping at her skin in retaliation before pushing himself back to stare down at her. The mood changed from playful to serious and she let him see that she was worried about a lot of things.

"Are we ready for this, Patrick?"

"No but we have time to get that way."

"That doesn't make me feel better." Despite her words, a small smile played at her lips. "I set up the appointment for noon so I can use lunch as an excuse. Will you come with me?"

"Do you actually think I'd miss it?" No, she didn't think he'd miss it but she wanted to make sure. This was big, this was huge and it went without saying that it would change their lives and she just wanted to be reminded that she wasn't in it alone. She hadn't wanted to get pregnant this early in their marriage but it was done and couldn't be undone and perhaps it'd be good for them. She'd thought they married too soon and look how that had turned out. It was going pretty well so she was taking the same approach to the idea of a baby. Even after four pregnancy tests it wasn't going to fully set in until she heard a doctor tell her. It just seemed unreal.

"Are you really okay with this?"

"Darling, I've told you many times that I want to be a father again. I wasn't so sure when we first married but now, I'm more than 'okay' with it. Are you?"

"Working on it. I can't help but think this isn't real and if you ever tell anyone this we'll never have sex again, but I'm...I'm terrified." She was being honest and open with him about it because she didn't want to hide things but she was still the type to think he'd poke and prod just to make her uncomfortable but he didn't. He moved to rest his hands on either side of the pillow her head was resting on and shifted until they were face to face. She loved it when he was so close that she could see the different flecks of color in his eyes although she always felt a bit self conscious when he stared at her with an intensity that she'd never been on the receiving end of before.

"I'd be worried if you weren't." Some of his weight rested against her when he moved a hand to run his fingers through her hair and his warmth was welcomed. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she let a sigh escape her lungs and her fingers found a resting place on his shoulders. "Marry me."

"Did you hit your head? We're already married."

"Marry me again. Let's do it right this time." Brow furrowing, Lisbon let her confusion show and did nothing to hide the skepticism in her gaze. They were already legally married and he wanted to do it again? "We don't even have a picture of our wedding day, Teresa, and what are we gonna tell our kids?"

She'd give him that one but she wasn't so sure what he meant. Her thoughts ceased for a brief moment when his mouth pressed against hers in a hopeful kiss that had her grinning before he pulled back with that stupid adorable 'I'm-Patrick Jane-I'll-get-my-way' look on his face.

"I suppose I was crazy enough to marry you once, I might as well do it again." The mega watt smile he flashed her was one for the record books but it quickly disappeared when he leaned back in to share another kiss - she stopped him with words just before their mouths touched. "It has to be before I'm showing though and nothing too big. I like small but I want to invite my brothers this time, oh and maybe..."

Before she could finish her thought, Jane had rolled his eyes and silenced her with his lips. So she wasn't exactly certain about how she should feel with the whole baby thing yet but she had several months to prepare and a husband willing to help. It was more than some women had and she knew how lucky that made her. It was still such a strange thought; she'd married Jane and now she was pregnant with his baby. All in under five months and she was going to renew her vows with him as well. Maybe she was crazy but she loved him.

**a/n: For those wondering, I'm not writing out the doctor's appointment because Ido believe I've pointed it out before but I'm not turning this into strictly a baby fic so I don't really plan to write out every little thing. But yes, she's pregnant and you'll learn how far along and all that good stuff next chapter.**

**Next: _"What the hell was that?" Why did she always find herself asking him that question?_**

_**"Oh, nothing." And why was that always the answer she received? "Just thought you might enjoy it."**_


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: I'm required to say that I don't own anything. Aw, shucks.**

**A/N: Yup, I'm back again with another chapter. I swear this story will be the death of me, no seriously I always try to update something else and it never works because of this beast! *deep breath* Okay, so we've established that our dear Lisbon is pregnant, now onwards with the story. Time jumps are going to be spaced a bit more than just a few days now otherwise we'd never get through her pregnancy. Ugh. :D **

**I've been slacking on this so I just added everyone in from the last several chapters.  
****Thanks to my anonymous reviewers: April, Mana, MK, Alejandra, Elise and Leila.  
****Your reviews are greatly appreciated even though sometimes I forget to put this thank you in my chapters. **

**Now on with the story...This chapter will seem a bit choppy but it's supposed to be. I wanted to show different snapshots of their day.**

It was strange. A lot of things had changed over the course of the last two weeks and one of those things had been the lack of coffee trips that Lisbon made each day. She'd only made a trip from her office to the kitchen once that morning and it'd been for a bottle of water and a doughnut. Neither she nor Jane were dumb enough to think that nobody would notice but both were hoping that no one would put two and two together. The baby was to remain a secret until Lisbon decided to tell and honestly Jane had been very understanding. She wanted to wait until they'd passed the first trimester, simply because of all the risks involved. It was her way of saying that she was scared something would happen and she didn't want to deal with informing everyone if it did. Being pregnant was still strange to her but knowing that she was now seven weeks along and feeling the nausea that rocked her stomach on a daily basis kept her from thinking it was all a dream.

She'd counted back just because she was curious to know when they'd conceived and by her calculations it had to be sometime around when she was sick. The only sexual encounter she remembered from around that week was the rough against-the-wall 'make-up' sex they'd had once she'd started feeling better. Smirking at the thought, she signed her name at the bottom of the paper on her desk and shook her head.

Sex was something that seemed to be a must lately as well. Jane couldn't keep his hands to himself and she didn't particularly mind but really she'd been trying to hurry in the shower earlier that morning and he'd slowed everything down with wandering hands and well placed kisses. One minute she was rinsing shampoo from her hair and the next, she was pressed to the wall with her legs wrapped around his waist. He was good at distracting her in such ways.

While things were a bit different, they were also the same. She'd been so worried about how expecting a baby would impact their lives and so far, it hadn't done much at all. Besides the obvious doctor's visits, actual 'being pregnant' thing, and the nausea she'd been feeling the last few days, it was all pretty much the same as always. For some reason, she'd just expected the worst but in the two weeks of knowing, things had been fine. The appointment she'd had confirmed she was pregnant and from there they'd just accepted it and she was actually growing more comfortable and excited with each passing day. She still worried though; it was something she was good at and felt comfortable with whenever happenings in her life made her feel like she had no control.

Work was another thing that made her feel comfortable. It was something she could use to take her mind off of things for awhile although sometimes when her brain was persistantly annoying it didn't work. Okay, several times when her brain was persistently annoying but there were a few days here and there when her thoughts left her alone. This day just wasn't one of them but then again, she hadn't expected it to be.

One could only sit at a desk and keep glancing at the clock for so long. She was waiting for it to be noon; she wanted to get some lunch and then take Jane with her to interview the family in their latest case again. Just so he wouldn't annoy her about it, she was doing quite well keeping up with the time and eating somewhat balanced meals instead of just indulging in a light snack to hold her over until she made it home. She was going to take care of herself because it wasn't just about her anymore.

As soon as the clock showed that it was ten till, she grabbed her keys and headed out into the bullpen. It was close enough and when she stepped through the doorway and saw her husband sitting up on the couch with a book outstretched in front of his face, a smile tugged at her lips. She didn't bother getting close enough to read the spine nor did she even pay attention to the way her three agents looked up to greet her presence.

"Jane," As soon as he pulled his eyes away from the text and up to meet her gaze, she knew he was in a playful mood. She wasn't so sure it'd be a good idea to take him to talk to the family again after all but she knew if he wanted to go then there would be no keeping him away. "I was thinking we should pay the Harvey family another visit."

It seemed hearing those words from her mouth only brightened his demeanor and caused a gleam to flicker in his eyes and her stomach chose that moment to clench. The nausea she felt seemed to be worse than it had been early that morning but it was manageable and she knew it was nothing to worry about. Morning sickness was normal. She was just hoping that a certain someone would be on his best behavior. That crooked grin he was giving her had her believing that he had every intention of doing something devious.

* * *

The theory of impending deviousness on Jane's part was only proved to be true when he made an excuse to wander off once they made it in the front door of the Harvey's house. The wife didn't even seem to realize that by 'bathroom' Jane really meant 'I'm-gonna-go-snoop-and-find-everything-you-don't-want-me-to'. Now that she really thought about it, no one ever really seemed to realize that. Of course they had no reason to.

After three and a half minutes, Lisbon was getting nervous and her stomach was rolling; she kept up with questions to distract but there were only so many things she could ask. She kept thinking the wife would surely notice but Lucille still seemed oblivious. The lunch she'd eaten was not agreeing well with her nauseated stomach and she'd really just wanted to hurry with the additional questioning and then leave. The questions she'd had were answered and she didn't know what else to do to occupy the time while her husband was snooping through this poor woman's home. Swallowing down the nervous lump forming in her throat, she opened her mouth to inquire about something else when the red head in front of her beat her to it.

"You were married, Agent Lisbon?" Sparing a glance down at her ring finger, she realized she had a visible line. The rings were settled between her breasts, nice and safe but it left her a little stunned that someone had noticed such a detail about her. She was used to it from Jane but not so much the grieving families of victims. She'd never actually been in a situation where she had nothing to use as deflection and her best means of an out was wandering aimlessly somewhere. Personal stuff made her highly uncomfortable.

"Uh, I'm married; I just don't wear my rings on the job."

"Can you imagine what it would be like to lose your husband?" Shifting at the emotion the woman displayed by asking, Lisbon tried to think of a way to avoid the question without insulting or upsetting Lucille further. She didn't particularly like being asked something so personal by a woman in tears. It made her want to answer truthfully but she was only here to do her job, not to chat about marriage to a woman who looked so emotionally broken.

"I don't...no, I can't." She could but she didn't want to and especially not when her stomach already felt as though it'd empty its contents any moment. Where the hell was Jane?

"I don't want to believe he's gone but when I woke up this morning and reached over..." The words were cut off by a sob and Lisbon shifted her gaze to the doorway hoping to see a certain someone but there was nothing there. She'd dealt with grieving families plenty of times but it never made it easier and this woman had made it personal when she'd started asking her own questions. "Somebody killed him and he's gone. You have to find who did this to him."

"I assure you, that we're doing everything we can. I'm very sorry to have bothered you again." Something told Lisbon that if she didn't leave soon then she'd be using the bathroom to empty her stomach and considering how embarrassed she'd be, she thought it best to hunt down her missing other half. "I'm just gonna go get my colleague and then we'll leave you to your day."

Ignoring the fact that she didn't know exactly where her 'colleague' was, Lisbon pushed up from the couch she was sitting on and headed in the same direction he'd taken off in almost ten minutes before. The bathroom of course was empty and so were each of the bedrooms she passed. It wasn't until she'd made it to the end of the hallway and found herself facing a window that she saw him. Well wasn't that just lovely, he wasn't even in the house.

Circling back around, she mumbled apologies to the wife and hurriedly made her exit before the anger and questions started. There were days when she really wished Jane could just be normal. Granted nothing would be quite as much fun for him and in all honesty, she'd miss the trouble maker terribly but still. At least he wasn't technically doing anything wrong but it certainly was strange and as quickly as possible she rounded the house with every intention of dragging the man away by his vest if that's what it took.

"Jane! What are you doing in a tree?" Standing with her feet planted firmly, she stared up at the man perched on a branch above her. He looked so relaxed up there, just lounging and staring off into the distance.

"Oh hey Lisbon, I'm just enjoying the view."

"Need I remind you of the roof accident. Get down from there right now, we're leaving." He saw right through her mock annoyance and it was her fault really, the smile just didn't want to stay hidden. She was slightly nervous though because she remembered the roof accident all too well and didn't care for a repeat. Her heart seemed to beat faster the second he moved to descend from the branch. "Be careful."

She didn't really know if she could watch but found that she couldn't tear her eyes away and when his hand slipped, she sucked in a sharp breath and moved closer as if she'd really be able to catch him. Luckily, she didn't have to even try; he managed to right himself and work his way down without anymore mishaps. Sure it was just a tree, but he'd managed to find the one branch that was higher than the roof of the house she'd just vacated. Did he enjoy scaring her like this?

Once his feet were planted firmly on the ground, Lisbon breathed out a sigh of relief and made a mental note to buy him a helmet for his birthday. It could come in handy one of these days and his birthday was only a few months away so she figured she probably needed to start thinking of gift ideas.

"Look at that, I'm still in one piece. See, no need to worry, Teresa."

"What were you doing in a tree? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Instead of giving her an answer, he just started walking away knowing that she'd follow along behind and with a huff, she did. It took a few steps to catch up to him but once at his side, his hand rested to the small of her back and she could feel his thumb rubbing circles through her shirt. It was oddly relaxing. She wasn't mad and she knew that he could tell. She'd been worried - all the pregnancy hormones were making her feel weird but thankfully the moodiness hadn't reared its ugly head again.

She let him keep his hand in place instead of trying to explain that it was unprofessional when out in the field. He probably wouldn't listen anyway and his touch actually seemed to help calm the sea of waves assaulting her stomach. It didn't go any further and as soon as they'd made it to the vehicle, he'd dropped his hand to let her walk around to the driver's side. Things were good with them; it was nice.

Sudden movements didn't seem to be such a good idea and it'd gotten worse over the last couple of days. The more she moved, the more her stomach twisted and getting into the SUV seemed to be one of the triggers. Making a face and pausing in putting on her seat-belt alerted Jane to the odd behavior and she knew if she didn't say something then he'd ask so she beat him to it. There was no point in keeping something like this a secret.

"I think morning sickness is starting to kick in."

"Do you want to stop somewhere and get some crackers?" Just the thought of putting something in her mouth made it worse and although she contemplated how crackers might make it settle, she doubted it.

"No, it's okay."

"If you're sure. We can stop if you need to." He had that look on his face, the fatherly protective one that had showed up a lot more since she'd told him. It was strange to see but amazing at the same time. He could be quite caring when he wanted to be.

"I love this side of you..." The words had slipped out before she had time to think but she didn't try to cover them up. Why would she? It was true that she loved it although if he ever went over the top with the protective thing then she'd rethink that statement but he hadn't. In fact, he hadn't even tried to limit her work in the field yet; they hadn't really talked about anything like that. "It's nice to see that you're already being the protective caring father."

"I'll keep this child - my family - safe. I won't fail this time." Family. The word stuck like glue and a smile spread over her lips. She was part of a family and it felt amazing but she also felt a little saddened by the way his eyes flickered with guilt. Raising her hand to cup his cheek, she leaned closer to him and made sure that he was looking her right in the eye.

"You didn't fail the first time Patrick."

"I wasn't there when I should have been." It was always the same argument and yet she always thought that one day it might change. It hadn't but that didn't make her love him any less or change the way she thought of how he'd act come early February.

"_We_ will keep our family safe. Both of us." Closing the gap between them and ignoring the awkward positioning of being separated by the center console, she let her lips caress his for just a brief moment. It may have been only a couple seconds of contact but it was sufficient enough to lift his mood back into better spirits.

"Well, you do have the gun." With a smile, she gave him another quick kiss before moving back to her side of the vehicle and turning the key; everything seemed okay except for the unforgiving nausea. She was worried that she'd need to pull over randomly to lose the contents of her lunch but five minutes passed with her breathing deeply through her nose and nothing happened. It was a good tactic that looked as though it worked so she kept at it for another two minutes and then the curves in the road had her cringing.

"Teresa, you alright?"

"Yeah, just not a fan of motion at the moment." Jane knew immediately what she was talking about and instead of popping off with something witty, he just reached over and rested his hand on her thigh and gave a light squeeze.

In the extra fifteen minutes it took to get back to HQ, Lisbon had honestly thought she'd need to pull over but the impending feeling of vomiting didn't seem to do anything more than just make her feel like her stomach was trying to purge the sub sandwich she'd eaten. It didn't really make any sense to her why it was called 'morning sickness' when she'd felt only slight nausea during morning. It had only worsened so far though and by the time the SUV was in park, she had to sit for a few minutes before moving to get out.

Jane was already at her door before she'd unbuckled the seat-belt and she could see that he was just waiting for a reason to offer a hand. She didn't need it but she could tell that he wanted to the second she moved to step down from the vehicle. He wasn't stepping on her toes about it though which made her believe that perhaps their baby had been conceived at just the right time instead of too early.

As soon as the car door was shut, a hand had wrapped around her elbow and tugged her into the chest of her husband. A flutter in heart was dampened by the location and she tried to move away but her hands were flat against his vest and he had his arms locked around her waist. There was no moving unless she wanted to use force but really, she didn't want to move. It felt too good to stand like that with him but her mind was bombarding her with scenarios of someone seeing them. It didn't matter that they were married; she was still in the doghouse with her boss and she didn't need to add to that.

It was apparent that Jane didn't seem to think it mattered the moment he leaned down to capture her mouth with his own. His lips were demanding but gentle in their movements against hers and Lisbon stiffened. Just for a moment, she panicked and then he playfully nudged her bottom lip with his tongue and she couldn't help but mold into him. With tongues and teeth playing, she forgot all about feeling sick and let her raging hormones take over. Pulling him closer, kissing him harder and fisting her hands in his lapels, she didn't want to break the rhythm of their lips but when he slowed things down to a lazy pace, she didn't try to speed it back up.

It was only seconds and he was breaking the kiss completely, tearing his mouth from hers with a soft smack. The haze flooding her brain lifted, her vision cleared and the hum in her body died down. Then her location came back to her and she felt as though she'd been doused with ice cold water.

"What the hell was that?" Why did she always find herself asking him that question?

"Oh, nothing." And why was that always the answer she received? "Just thought you might enjoy it."

"I thought we agreed to no displays of affection while working..."

"We're in a parking lot, woman and if anyone is watching then might as well give them a show." With his dazzling smile still in place, he nudged her nose with his own. "Not to mention, I do believe that you broke that rule long before I did. I can recall a kiss in your office that I, my dear, did not initiate and the two kisses we just shared in the SUV."

"Okay fine, I'll give you those ones but in my defense they were very brief."

"So it's a matter of length then? I'll keep that in mind."

"That's not what I meant and you know it." Despite how seriously she felt about the topic of publicly displaying their relationship despite their marital status, Lisbon couldn't wipe the grin off of her face.

"You smile more." The confusion must have showed on her face or he just knew because she didn't get the chance to ask what he meant before he clarified. "You seem happy and you smile more since we found out about..."

"Shh, someone might hear you and I wa-" Her somewhat calmed stomach churned something violent and she clasped a hand over her mouth. She'd actually felt a bit better and just like that, she was doubling over next to a van and the contents of her stomach no longer remained inside of her. The clenching quickly turned into heaving as her lunch worked its way back up to spill out on the pavement and the only thing she could do was let it. She felt Jane pull her hair out of the way and gentle rub her back. It helped with the tears starting to pool in her eyes but did little to fight off the way her muscles contracted with each heave.

She was breathing heavily and shaking by the time the last wave rolled through and with a swipe of her hand across her mouth, she slowly straightened. The painful pull she felt in her abdomen eased and before she could even blink, Jane wrapped her in a warm embrace. She let him and didn't bother to bring up her stupid rule. They were married and in that moment she couldn't care less if anyone saw.

She let him run his fingers through her dark hair and whisper in ear. Her cheeks were tinted red with embarrassment and perhaps that was why she buried her face in his chest. They just stood there for a few minutes until she calmed and then he stepped back enough to tuck her hair behind her ears and kiss her temple.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I guess Baby wasn't a big fan of the sandwich." Lisbon hadn't given much thought to her words until after they were drifting in the air and it was too late to take them back. Quickly glancing around, she assessed that the parking lot seemed empty and then proceeded to silently berate herself for saying something like that when she'd just shushed Jane for even thinking of it. "And anyone who walked by could have heard me say that."

"Nobody walked by." It was enough to comfort them both but while it was true that nobody had walked passed them, someone had still heard the private moment between the two.

**a/n: Haven't replied to reviews because it's really late but I'll do it when I wake up. Now, feel free to leave me feedback. So here's the deal, updates for this have started to slow down (as I'm sure you've noticed) and there's a reason. I plan to continue this story for quite some time while I want to finish up my others before college. So for the moment, they take precedence and this is put on the back-burner. **

**Next up: _"Are you serious or is that your way of telling me that you're craving gummy bears?"_**

_**"I'm serious," The hand running through her hair ceased for a few seconds and she glanced up to see that he was staring down at her with an amused expression on his face. Biting her lip to keep from smiling, she linked their fingers together and finished her statement in a light tone. "And I really want some gummy bears."**_


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: I don't own it but I did get some new stuff yesterday in the mail! :D Sadly rights to The Mentalist were not included.**

**A/N: This is a special chapter written for someone's birthday because she always leaves me such nice reviews on pretty much everything I write.**

**HAPPY (belated by 50 minutes) BIRTHDAY Iloveplotbunnies! I thought I'd update this as your present. I was totally tempted to write a oneshot or something but I didn't really have a whole lot of time. **

There had been a time when Lisbon thought throwing up was as bad as it could get and that time was three weeks ago but now at ten weeks along she had decided that feeling nauseated while looking at a book of bridal dresses while cooped up in her office was much worse. Why had she agreed to have an actual wedding? Oh right, the stupid grin with that ever so hypnotizing gaze. This was all Jane's fault. Unable to contain her sigh of frustration, she shoved another cracker in her mouth and washed it down with a sip of ginger ale.

She didn't like ginger ale but it seemed to be the only thing that really helped. It'd kept her from getting sick so far although she actually hadn't gotten sick since that one time three weeks ago in the parking lot. According to her doctor, she was quite lucky so far but she didn't feel lucky. She might not have been keeping the CBI bathroom occupied but she certainly felt random bouts of nausea that had her groaning and contorting her face in discomfort.

Flipping another page, she paused and admired a simple looking dress that fit her budget and would look nice enough for a photo or two. She really wasn't exactly sure why she'd agreed to the whole second wedding thing but she had and it left her inviting the team and her brothers. Although Tyler still didn't know yet, she'd call sometime. Of course, that's what she'd been telling herself for months and she hadn't accomplished the task yet. Jon-Jon had loved the idea and she hadn't really been surprised; he got along way too well with Jane for her liking whereas Tommy wasn't as thrilled but had agreed to see if he could take a few days off to come.

Maybe it was wrong of her to want them to be there. After everything said and done, she just really wanted things to get better. None of them were getting any younger and she hated the thought of it taking one of them dying to bring them all together again. She wanted a happy memory with them although, she wasn't so sure that Tyler would be up for a flight to see her renew her vows with a man he didn't know she was already married to. It was sad to think she'd been married five months and one of her brothers still had no idea. They were all in for a shock about the baby - none of them knew about that yet.

The team still didn't know either but she planned to tell everyone before she started showing. Her little gummy bear wouldn't hide forever and with that thought, she glanced out through the blinds quickly and then opened the right drawer. Taking out the ultra-sound photo, she let her finger glide over the tiny blob lovingly for a few seconds and then put it back before anyone could see. It was the first picture of her baby and she'd been rather excited about it; so had Jane. He'd been wearing the biggest, truest smile she'd ever seen plastered on his face and it'd made it all the more real.

Intently staring at the dress she'd found, she tried to picture herself in it but somehow failed to do so. Perhaps it just wasn't the right one after all. With a sigh, she turned the page and moved the crackers from her desk to rest in her lap. Her stomach was no longer churning violently and she knew that someone would come knocking eventually.

Making a disgusted face at the huge poofy dress that greeted her, she quickly turned another page and let her eyes settle on something that she thought held a classic beauty without all the lace and poof. She could see herself wearing it, although she thought it'd look better in a pale blue or green. In all her years, she'd never thought there would be a day when she'd actually be flipping through a bridal magazine looking for ideas.

The sound of approaching footsteps was actually a welcomed reprieve and she all but jumped up to greet the person when a knock was heard and the door was pushed open. Not one visitor but two and both were carrying something.

"Jane told me to bring you this and tell you that he had something he had to do but plans to be home for dinner." A to-go box was handed to her from Van Pelt and Cho just stared at her as though he knew something was up. Ignoring the man for the moment, she opened the box to reveal a salad and french fries. The devious man was too good to her sometimes and with a smile, she thanked the red head and turned her attention to the third party in the office.

"Cho? Can I help you?"

"I'm just dropping off files." True to his statement, he placed a couple on her desk and turned to walk away but then thought better of it and stilled. "Oh, Boss, congratulations. Not on the second wedding but the other thing."

She caught the way his eyes dropped to her stomach and felt her heart start to pound. Lisbon tried to think of how he'd found out and quickly chanced a glance to Van Pelt to see if she knew as well but luckily, she looked clueless.

"H-how'd you..."

"A lot of interesting things can be heard in parking lots." Startled, she could only gape at him as he walked out to leave her and Van Pelt alone. She'd thought that someone would put it together eventually based on her behavior but not from overhearing something private.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh, y-yeah. I'm fine. Did you need anything?" Cho knew she was pregnant, not the end of the world. He was loyal enough to keep it to himself and it was to the point that it wouldn't really make a difference if he didn't. In fact, she was contemplating letting everyone know now that she was aware somebody already did.

"No, I'll get back to..."

"Do you want to help me with this?" The question seemed to catch them both by surprise as she lifted the magazine to show what she wanted help with but Lisbon knew she needed a second opinion and that Jane wouldn't take it seriously. She needed some help to get everything ready by the next week. If she still wanted to fit in a dress without giving away her secret then she needed to get things done rather quickly, although the question seemed to startle poor Van Pelt into just staring at her for a few long seconds. "I could use a second opinion on some things."

Perhaps at a later date, she'd blame it all on her hormones but for the time being, she was simply asking another female for some insight and Van Pelt was agreeing. It seemed like a good idea.

"Sure, I'll help." Somehow it went from just hearing her opinion on the dress to having her sitting in front of the desk and picking more dresses that would be ideal for the short ceremony. It wasn't until Lisbon had finished her salad and started on the fries that she realized she was being rather rude. It didn't matter that Van Pelt didn't seem to mind a bit; it was still rather rude to eat in front of someone.

Silently offering to share the fries, she pointed to a cream colored halter dress with a simple straight skirt and embroidered patterns on the fabric. What they were doing was probably considered unprofessional and under any other circumstances, she would have said so but she found herself actually enjoying the female company.

"I like this one."

"It's nice. Simple and elegant - I think it'd be perfect but obviously the choice is yours."

"I'll probably go with something very similar, although I'll need to make sure that I get something that isn't tight or it might not..." The sentence died once Lisbon realized how much she'd given away and what she'd been about to blurt out. She'd obviously let her guard down and stopped thinking; she hadn't even hid the fact that she'd put a package of crackers in one of the desk drawers but Van Pelt hadn't asked so she hadn't offered an explanation.

"Boss?" Cho knew, maybe it was just time to let them all in on the secret. She wasn't ashamed and it'd make things easier. Plus she knew that Van Pelt had wanted to throw her a baby shower months ago. Biting her lip, she made a quick decision.

"I'm not the boss right now okay? I'm just Teresa and you're just Grace." The confusion was obvious - she couldn't blame the woman - but a nod gave her the incentive to go on. "I know you're curious about what Cho meant earlier but you didn't want to say anything."

"I don't know-"

"He was congratulating me because I'm pregnant." There was something rather exciting about telling someone and Van Pelt's facial expression made it even more so. The literal jaw drop wasn't expected but the widening of her eyes was and for some reason a smile broke out on Lisbon's face. "Since you wanted to plan a baby shower several months ago, I thought I'd let you know."

"How far along?"

"Ten weeks. Only Cho and of course Jane know. I didn't want to tell anyone until after the first trimester but obviously that didn't work out as planned."

"Congrats and if you don't actually want me planning a baby shower then I understand. I mean you're my boss and - "

"Grace you've been here long enough to know that work is work but this team is still close." There was a moment of understanding between the two and then a small shared smile. She'd definitely be blaming the hormones later for the strange turn of events but it felt nice to share the news. A little weird but nice.

* * *

After a long day that only proved to be semi-productive, Lisbon was glad to be lounging on her couch and using her husband as a pillow. He could relax her in ways that no one else could. It was in the way he stroked his hands down her back or through her hair; it had to be. There was just something about it that made her so tired and weightless but there were some things that she wanted to talk about before falling asleep and the major one had to do with where he'd been all day.

"Patrick?" His name came out more as a mumble as her eyes drooped but it served the purpose and got his attention.

"Hm?"

"Where'd you go today?" She felt him tense beneath her, felt his muscles tighten as though he dreaded answering but she waited patiently to hear what he had to say. Something told her that he was hiding something before he could even answer and she wasn't quite sure how she felt about that. Hadn't they agreed not to hide things?

"I had some things to take care of - nothing important. How're you feeling?"

"Fine, tired but it's only seven." Choosing not to argue, she let it go but made a mental note to bring it up again soon. If it led to a fight then so be it; she'd rather fight before the baby came instead of letting it fester to the point of explosion afterwards. "Didn't get sick today."

"That's good." Jane seemed to be in another world but again, Lisbon didn't say anything. Their marriage was still something that teetered back and forth between a relationship and an accord but it'd been really good the last several weeks. She was really hoping that he hadn't done something to ruin the fact that she was beginning to let herself be excited and happy about having a little one.

"You okay?"

"Fine. Just thinking. Anything interesting happen while I wasn't around?"

"Cho knows that I'm pregnant and so does Van Pelt." Humming in content at the feel of warm fingers skimming over her ear, Lisbon snuggled tighter into him and let her eyes close. She wasn't going to sleep; she was just letting herself get comfortable.

"You were planning to tell everyone soon anyway." While that was true, she felt a bit of a sting in her chest at the lack of emotion behind his voice. It was as if he wasn't even in the room with her mentally. "Why don't you go ahead and take a nap?"

"I don't want to."

"Teresa, if you're tired then just rest."

"Tell me what's wrong." The deep breath gave away that there was indeed something wrong. Not that she needed any more confirmation than what she already had but it was another sign. He seemed aggravated but when he spoke, his voice was soft and almost sweet.

"Nothing is wrong. I'm just a little distracted I guess, I'm sorry."

"S'okay." Without even lifting her head to look at him, she knew that she wouldn't get any answers so there was no real point in asking the question again. She just hoped that he'd let her know what had him so distracted whenever he was ready to. Melting into the warmth radiating from him, she let her thoughts get ahead of her and before she could even stop herself she was thinking the worst. What if he'd changed his mind about having kids? "Is it about the baby?"

"No, don't worry. It's nothing bad, I promise." She believed him then. "So you and the baby-"

"Bear - I've been calling the baby Bear since I saw the ultra-sound. I thought it looked kinda like a gummy bear."

"Are you serious or is that your way of telling me that you're craving gummy bears?"

"I'm serious," The hand running through her hair ceased for a few seconds and she glanced up to see that he was staring down at her with an amused expression on his face. Biting her lip to keep from smiling, she linked their fingers together and finished her statement in a light tone. "And I really want some gummy bears."

Resting their entangled hands over his heart, Lisbon buried her face in his neck and almost drifted off to sleep before realizing she hadn't ever finished her train of thought. She'd be grateful when her body stopped feeling so tired.

"Do you think Bear is a good enough nickname? I don't want to be stuck calling it Baby for the next several months but I want us to agree on something."

"I think it's perfect and I'll get you some gummy bears tomorrow." Whether he was serious or just trying to ease her mind so she'd pass out, Lisbon wasn't sure but it didn't take long before her muscles were relaxing and the fog had taken over her brain. She could barely keep her eyes open and before she could even fight it, her breathing evened out. Sleep had won the battle yet again and she was out like a light, however Jane stared at the ceiling in deep thought for hours. He'd contemplated waking her and just springing it on her but ultimately decided that was a bad idea. He'd wait till a later date to burden her with something so trivial.

Kissing the top of her head, Jane wondered if she'd appreciate what he was trying to do or hate him completely for it. Maybe he should have looked into it before she was unpredictable with pregnancy hormones. Ah, well, he'd make do somehow but he was hoping that she'd be as into the idea as he was.

**a****/n: I have not replied to reviews yet...it's very late but I'll do it as soon as I get up in the morning. SO it's not the greatest chapter but I really wanted to include a Van Pelt and Lisbon moment as well as add in that Cho knew. The bit with Jane at the end was randomly added in but I thought it tied in well with how he wasn't around in the first part. And yes, you'll find out what had Jane so occupied...in a chapter or two.**

**Nex****t up: "Hey, it's Teresa. I know it's been awhile but I just wanted to tell you that you're invited to my wedding...well I'm already married but we're doing it again. I'm really sorry that I didn't call sooner and let you know. I guess I was just too much of a coward." Taking a deep breath, she continued on and was slightly relieved that she was talking to an answering machine. "Look, Tommy and Jon-Jon are coming and I know we don't all get along so great but I really want to try and fix that. Just - just call me back, please."**


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: Trust me, it's a good thing I don't own The Mentalist. Otherwise, episodes would come about like my updates...**

**A/N: I'd just like to state that I actually wrote the chapter where Lisbon actually *has* the baby today. It's quite interesting. That being said, we're not even close to that yet so I won't spoil anything but I will just say these two can't do anything normally. Enjoy this chapter. Mainly all Jane/Lisbon and bits thrown in about her mysterious brother Tyler. I realize that things have been kinda 'fluffy' between our married couple lately...well now that just won't do will it?**

**Dedicating this chapter to my brother. I haven't seen nor heard from him in almost 10 years but I hope he knows that I'll always love him. **

**Thanks to anonymous reviewers: MK, April, Neele**

It'd been over a week. Two weeks really, since Grace helped pick a dress and found out about the secret and Lisbon still hadn't gotten things completely smoothed out for the 'wedding' she'd postponed for another four days. Part of her was terrified the dress wouldn't fit anymore and the other part was too worried about an impending call.

It took literally an hour for her to get her fingers to cooperate and dial a number that was rather familiar and foreign at the same time. It'd been a long time since she'd even looked at it and as sad as that seemed, she felt dread course through her veins even then as her thumb hovered over the final number in the combination that would connect her landline to her brother's. Jane had been at her side, telling her she'd feel better if she got it over with but she had sent him away after the first half hour. There was only so much she could take and dealing with him while trying to suck it up and punch a few buttons on a telephone just happened to be something she couldn't. She didn't want his support; she'd wanted him to shut up and let her do it at her own pace.

Taking a deep breath, she pressed the last button and pulled the phone up to her ear. There was a moment with no sound at all coming through and then the ringing started. One. Two. Three rings and there was nothing. A sigh fell from her lips and she was about to hang up when her brother's voice came over the line by way of recording. It was somewhat good to hear his voice and also a little heartbreaking. It was sad to think they've all stayed away for so long just because they don't want to remember the past. That had been her main reason anyway.

She knew that she could still just hang up but her mouth opened of it's own accord and words started pouring out before she could even think to stop them.

"Hey, it's Teresa. I know it's been awhile but I just wanted to tell you that you're invited to my wedding...well I'm already married but we're doing it again. I'm really sorry that I didn't call sooner and let you know. I guess I was just too much of a coward." Taking a deep breath, she continued on and was slightly relieved that she was talking to an answering machine. "Look, Tommy and Jon-Jon are coming and I know we don't all get along so great but I really want to try and fix that. Just - just call me back, please."

Ending the call and sitting for a moment, Lisbon rubbed a hand over her lower stomach and for some reason felt as though she suddenly really needed Jane - not in an emotionally clingy way but in a distraction kind of way. It worried her a little that she'd become so used to him being there for comfort even though he was her husband. Tossing the phone onto the coffee table, she pushed up from the couch cushion and followed the sound of music coming from the bedroom. Each conquered stair only brought out more of her thoughts and each of them made her climb a little bit faster.

She'd be hurt and disappointed if Tyler didn't call her back; she was already feeling a bit of both. While she hadn't been so enthused about the idea of talking to him, she didn't want to talk to an answering machine either. She'd rather see him face to face for the first time in a few years than talk to a machine but she'd done it for the sake of having things work out. Hopefully he'd call back as soon as he got the voice message and they could talk civilly. There were several things that she wanted to tell him and one of those things happened to be about the little baby nestled in her womb.

It was probably wrong but she was going to tell him in hopes to make up for hiding her marriage from him and she'd been planning to tell Tommy and Jon-Jon at the 'wedding' anyway. A four day difference surely wasn't that big of a deal and yeah, she was cutting it kind of close to only give him a four day window to decide if he'd be able to come or not but it'd taken her awhile to work up the courage. It wasn't that she was afraid of his reaction or that she didn't want to talk to him; it was more the fact that she felt rather terrible for keeping it a secret so long when Tommy and Jon-Jon already knew. Each month that had passed, she'd felt worse and that was what kept her from calling, well that and of course the fact that the only brother she really kept up with was Jonathan and until he'd called out of the blue to have her babysit Jojo that first time months ago, she hadn't heard from him in close to a year.

Running a hand through her hair in aggravation at her thoughts, she found herself humming along with the music as she stepped into their bedroom. Her lips tilted upwards when she saw Jane sprawled across the bed with a pink and blue paperback book in his hands. She knew it was filled with baby names; he'd insisted they buy it and she'd given in although she thought it was a bit early to be investing in such things but then again, what did she know?

"Hey." Chuckling a bit at the way he looked up, saw her, and went right back to searching through a list of names, Lisbon moved to join him on the bed. She'd never even looked in the book but eventually she'd probably crack it open just for fun. "Any good names in that thing?"

"I don't care how much you like the nickname Bear for our baby, there is no way we're naming a kid 'Little Bear' - just so you know."

"Is that actually listed?" At his nod, she found herself smiling devilishly and crawling over him to straddle his hips. She didn't actually care if it was in there or not but it was kind of amusing to think about, although she had no intentions of naming a baby such a thing. She did have a list of names she liked but they hadn't come from a book and she didn't want to spend the night talking about it.

He didn't act affected at all by her ministrations; he just kept on reading but she was settled against a very sensitive part of his anatomy and she could feel that he was beginning to stir. His face might've hidden how he felt but other places gave it away quite easily.

"I wanna see the book." She wasn't asking, she didn't even give him time to hand it to her. She just plucked it from his hands and moved it to the nightstand.

"Hey! I was reading that."

"There's so many other things we could be doing with our free time." For some reason, Lisbon felt as though she just really needed him and although she was trying to be playful, she knew her smile faltered a bit when his hands met her hips. He noticed and she knew it but before he could call her on it, she leaned in to place soft kisses over his jaw and chin. Distraction was the theme for the night. "We could watch TV,"

Dragging her teeth along the skin earned a sharp intake of breath so she did it again and only stopped to tease with words.

"Or we could take a bath," He liked soaking in the tub with her but judging by the way his fingers gripped, he didn't want to move from the bed and since that had been her goal all along she felt a rush of heat burst through her veins to collect between her thighs. "Or we can stay right here..."

Lips trailed along his throat, teeth and tongue playing with the flesh as she sensually rubbed against him. He didn't give an answer but she could feel him harden beneath her and his hands had slipped under her top. They'd be staying right where they were. It'd take her mind off things - make her stop thinking - and she couldn't help but be in a rush to get to that point.

The second her fingers brushed over the fabric of his shirt, something awakened in her and it became a mad dash to get rid of the material keeping them apart. First to go was the shirt, and he reciprocated the action by unhooking her bra and capturing her mouth in a heated kiss. He always knew what she needed when she needed it. He knew when to be tender and loving, when to be quick or when to be slow. He knew if she wanted something rough or just something fun and playful and this time was no different. She wanted a distraction, a gloriously passionate distraction and by just one kiss, he told her that he understood exactly what she needed.

It was provided in the sweep of his tongue against hers, the touch of his fingers as he rid her of the shirt and bra covering her chest and in the way he gripped her tightly when her hands went for the waistband of his pants. It was in the way he knew not to touch her tender breasts, and in the way he focused attention elsewhere. Breaking the kiss, he tugged at the stands of her hair and his mouth moved to that sensitive spot just under her ear that made her squirm every time. Wiggling against him when he rolled her skin between his teeth, drew a moan from his lungs and only served to make her even more aware of the delicious ache rapidly building in her core.

Her breath was coming in thready pants, her eyes were tightly closed and one of her hands was holding his head in place. It was sweet torture that she wanted more of but her brain was going fuzzy with arousal and the only thing she seemed capable of was trailing one hand down to brush over the straining fabric beneath her. She felt him hiss against her at the contact and biting a little harder in retaliation but she didn't complain. It felt too good and the heat boiling her blood made it impossible to feel much other than waves of pleasure.

His pants and boxers were a challenge but she managed to push them down one handed with his help and he responded in kind by returning his lips to hers. It was almost funny to her that he was completely naked and she was still clothed from the waist down but her amusement died with the movement of his mouth against hers. The kiss was distracting, warm, deep, and everything she needed but it ended quickly with much reluctance on both parts.

Chests brushing with each inhale, Lisbon opened her eyes to meet his hooded stare as his thumbs brushed the underside of her breasts. He attempted to lean in for another lip-lock but she backed away and moved off his bare body.

"Teresa..." She laughed a little at the desperation in his voice when she crawled off the bed. The look in his eyes proved he was a bit scared that she planned to just walk away. The relief showed immediately when she pushed the last garments covering her to the floor and stepped out of them.

As quickly as possible she returned to her previous position and gave a smirk when he eyed her curiously.

"You think I'd actually just leave you in this condition?" Her eyes glanced down to emphasize what she meant by 'condition' as she nestled against him. The groan that flew from his lips was satisfying but not even close to what she wanted.

"You can be quite mean sometimes, dear wife." Using her hands as an anchor against his stomach she lifted her hips. "But no, I didn't think you'd leave for long. Something has you upset enough to need this."

Ignoring his words, she felt his tip push against her and dropped down to engulf him in her heat. A sigh filled the air but Lisbon wasn't sure who it came from and didn't really care. Neither moved for a few seconds, just enjoying the feel but when he gripped her hips to guide her, she let him. It wasn't about control; it was about the opposite. It was about losing herself in him and each movement brought her closer. She wasn't going slowly but it wasn't fast either. It was just what she needed and he accepted it. He let her ride it out, let her do what she wanted until he just couldn't take it anymore and slid his hands up her back.

In a fluid move, he was sitting upright and holding her against him. The pace changed into a quick rocking motion and had her breath coming in short pants and her muscles tightening. The coil in her stomach was winding, ready to spring apart at any given moment and when his hand slipped between their bodies to help her along, she knew it'd only take seconds to give in. She wasn't trying to fight it, she wanted it.

Her body jerked, a gasp falling from her lips, and she felt the first burst low in her belly. She wanted to tell him to stop but she wanted him to keep going. She wanted to say something, anything to him but the only things that came out of her mouth were gasps and moans. Wrapping an arm around his neck, she pressed her face into his shoulder and finally managed to whisper a 'please' into his sweat slicked skin. He took her plea as encouragement and brushed his thumb over her sweet spot with a little more pressure. The feel of him against her, in her, and moving was suddenly too much to handle.

She shattered. She unraveled in rapid succession and could only let the sensation take over completely as her toes curled and her fingers dug into flesh. The nonsense falling from her lips ceased as she felt each muscle in her body lock; she couldn't talk if she wanted to and the only sound she could get to come out was something close to a groan.

Limp and body thrumming, she barely noticed when Jane rolled them and pinned her flat on her back. Cracking open an eye, she saw him lean in and let their mouths meet as he thrust into her. Her legs were still loosely wrapped around his waist but it took her a few seconds to move her hips with his. She felt fuzzy but tried to keep up with him anyway. The second he tore away from her lips to bury his nose in her hair, she knew he was done and it took not even a second before she felt his warmth fill her.

They stayed tangled, breathing ragged and bodies spent. Lisbon wasn't quite sure who was who at this point but she didn't much care to find out either. Letting her eyes flutter, she held him tighter to her chest and smiled a little when his lips found her temple. It was too soon when he pulled away and the cold she felt when his body was no longer connected to hers caused a shiver.

He didn't go far, just to her side to prop himself up on one elbow and let his fingers dance down her stomach. She didn't move, she stayed where she was and chose to watch his hand move passed her navel.

"You wanna tell me what brought that on?"

"Are you complaining?"

"Not at all but I know something is wrong." She wrapped her hand around his wrist in hopes to get him to stop moving his fingers but he didn't. "Did you get ahold of your brother?"

"Patrick, do me a favor and don't ever mention any of my brothers while we're naked." His hand flattened over her stomach, the tips of his fingers reaching her belly button and his palm resting below it. "I got the answering machine, left a message and what are you doing?"

"Trying to imagine what you'll look like in a month or so when you start to really show."

"You mean when Bear decides to show." He gave her look that told her it was one in the same but she just grinned and let her hand join his. "It's still unbelievable, isn't it?"

The only answer she received was a grunt and she took it as an agreement - though with the way he was staring down at her, she wasn't so sure. Goosebumps rose on her skin and he smiled a little before kissing her forehead.

"Don't take this the wrong way but you're showing a little. Not enough to really notice but look." Glancing at her lower abdomen, she realized he was right. While it wouldn't be noticeable to the outside world that she was pregnant, she'd definitely gained about five pounds and there was a barely there swell that Jane was stroking. She let her own fingers push lightly against it and smiled at the feel.

"We're at the end of the first trimester, do you think we should Hightower?"

"You're twelve weeks, there's still a little window before it'll be hard to hide." She knew it wasn't much of one and she really wanted to get it over with - after the wedding though. She had enough on her mind at the moment. Her dress hadn't been finished when she went to pick it up and they'd had to postpone a week already. Everything had been planned for last week, while she was still in her third month but things didn't work out and in four days she'd be in her fourth. "You want to wait until we get the wedding out of the way don't you?"

"Yeah, but if my dress doesn't fit then I'm wearing jeans which won't be buttoned because they don't really fit either."

"You'll still be beautiful."

"Such a charmer." The sarcasm wasn't lost on him and she would've added to it but a sudden urge hit and she let out a sigh instead. "I have to pee."

It wasn't the worst thing in the world and she was kinda hungry too so moving from the bed was probably inevitable - although she'd been quite content to just lie there talking about little things that had big impacts. On her way to the bathroom, she grabbed some clothes and left a chuckling Jane in the bed. He obviously found her need to pee rather amusing and she saw it as an inconvenience.

A small one that took only a moment to fix but then she had to take the time to put her bra and panties back on as well as a large shirt that fell to her knees. It was late - almost midnight - and she planned to go bed soon but when she exited the bathroom to see Jane fully dressed and making his way down the stairs, she let the confusion show in her expression. She was about to ask what he was doing when she heard the phone ringing.

If she wasn't expecting a call from her Tyler, she probably would've let it ring and went about questioning her husband about his wardrobe choice and why he was wearing his shoes as well but instead, she slipped by him and grabbed the phone off the couch. He followed closely and when she pressed the button to answer and pulled it up to her ear, he whispered in her free one.

"I'll be back." She wanted to ask where he was going, it was on the tip of her tongue but another voice drew her attention away.

_"Hello? Teresa are you there?"_

"Yeah, yeah I'm here." She tried to focus but where was he going this late? "I'm guessing you got my message."

_"I admit I was more than shocked when I realized it was you. You never call."_

"You never call me either." Snapping probably wasn't her wisest move. Flopping down on the couch, she closed her eyes and decided it'd be best not to start the conversation with a fight. "Look, I'm sorry...for everything. I meant to call you sooner."

_"So it's true that you're married?"_

"Yeah, for the last six months and I should explain a few things. We're having a vow renewal in four days which wasn't my idea but we married under weird circumstances and now he thinks we need a 'real' wedding. I want you to be there." She was rambling, she knew she was rambling. Why did she have to have that horrible ability?

_"Four days? I have a life Teresa. I can't just drop everything."_

"I know, I'm sorry and I'd intended to inform you earlier but things happened..." Her hormones were starting to kick up and the tone of his voice had brought a lump into her throat. She did not want to cry because of a phone call with her brother. "If you can't or just don't want to be there, I understand."

_"I didn't say that." _She heard his ragged sigh and bit her quivering lip. She officially hated hormones. _"You said you wanted to try and patch things up between all of us but why after so long?"_

"That has nothing to do with me being married or the whole second wedding thing." Her voice had become shaky and she swallowed to try and fix it. "I just don't want the next time any of us speak to each other to be at a funeral. Do you want that?"

_"Not really."_

"I don't either." The dam broke and a tear slipped out as she sniffled quietly in an attempt to control herself.

_"Are you okay? It sounds like you're crying."_

"I'm fine." She sort of was, but her head was starting to hurt and tears seemed to roll faster than she could wipe them away. "I didn't call to tell you about being married."

_"You didn't? Okay, Teresa, it's late and you're being confusing." _A hiccup broke through and she pressed her hand over her mouth in hopes to keep quiet and calm down. It was late and she was tired and pregnant but she really wasn't fond of the fact that she was crying. It wasn't even a big deal that she'd kept a marriage a secret from him when they hadn't talked in so long but that really wasn't why she'd called. _"Maybe you should call back tomorrow, or I'll call you."_

"N-no, no. I'm...Tyler I'm so sorry." She heard him sigh and knew she wasn't being clear enough. She didn't want to get into details though, hell that was why she'd been avoiding talking to him for so long. Choking back a sob, she pressed on hoping that it could help mend a relationship that'd been rocky for several years. "I sh-should have...done more that night."

_"Oh God, sis, don't drag up the past. It doesn't change anything and we all made it out alive." _

"You almost died Ty."

_"But I didn't and there's no need to cry. I've never blamed you."_

"I really want you to come." Finding her voice again - though it was still a little shaky - she wiped her face and took in a deep breath. "Jon-Jon's coming and I think Tommy is too. I know that things aren't great between you and Tommy but..."

_"You want us to make up."_

"I've forgiven him and I'm not asking for the freaking Brady Bunch but I want something better than what we're doing now. Tyler, I'm pregnant and I want my baby to know his or her uncles. I want this baby to have a family." Out of all the ways to tell someone, she'd never thought that it would just blurt out quite like that but it did.

_"You're pregnant?"_

"Almost four months. I haven't told Tommy or Jon yet and I don't expect everything to be fixed quickly but I can't be like Jon. He seems fine with his daughter only knowing me." She hated how raw and watery she sounded but at just the mention of her little gummy bear, she was pressing her hand to her abdomen.

_"I'll try to make it but you really didn't give me much of a notice."_

"M'sorry."

_"Are you sure you're okay?"_

"It's the damn hormones but I'm fine. It's good to hear your voice. I should call more."

_"That goes both ways, it's just as easy for me to pick up the phone as it is for you. It's late, I should let you get some rest." _She was afraid that if he hung up they wouldn't talk again for months but she made a vow that if he didn't come in four days then she'd call him again. It wasn't until she'd said goodbye and dial tone was ringing in her ear that she realized she hadn't given him any information concerning where she lived now or where the ceremony would take place.

She was tempted to call him back but it really was late and she felt tired so she didn't. Surely, he'd call again soon if he wanted it. There were other things on her mind now that she'd managed to somewhat clear up a few things concerning the past and the present. She felt a little better knowing that she'd apologized for things and listened to what he had to say. A small weight that had been settled on her shoulders for years lifted and she knew that if she could get her brothers into the same room then they could work things out. It would take awhile but it'd be a start in the right direction.

Her stomach growled to remind her of what her intentions had been after going to the bathroom and with a sniffle she pushed off the couch to head for the kitchen. It was time for a snack and then she'd probably wait for Jane to come home before retreating up the stairs to settle into her bed. If his phone wasn't sitting on the coffee table, she would have text him to see where he went. She wasn't a nosy woman but it was after midnight and he'd known she was nervous about the call with her brother. He should've stayed and maybe she wouldn't still be sniffling or suffering from a headache; he could have kept her calm.

Where the hell had he gone when she could really use a hug?

**a/n: This chapter was kinda a treat to everyone who reads and reviews. Plus Jane and Lisbon haven't got a whole lotta lovin' in the last few chaps so yeah thought I'd fit it in there before things swan dive. Next chapter is half work day and half "wedding". I didn't want a whole chapter to be the wedding since I don't plan to go into too much detail over it. Also I started a new collection of oneshots called 'Arbitrary'; it's going to have pretty much every genre.**

**Next: "It's nothing."**

**"No it's not! Look at it!" With a roll of the eyes, Lisbon dismissed Jane's concern.**

**"Oh calm down."**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. Big whoop.**

**A/N: Sorry about my little absense; I was stressing out over the fact that I'm not even half packed for college, nor have I bought everything I need. Yeah, so I typed up this chapter completely dreading the actual 'vow renewal' aspect because I wanted it to focus more on Lisbon's relationship with her brothers and her baby instead of anything else . Enjoy anyway...well hopefully you enjoy. I'm guessing by how many readers this story pulls that there are obviously some who definitely enjoy it. ;)**

**Dedicated to Rina for reviewing all 30 chapters in one sitting. And yes, it's quite a lengthy chapter. For some reason, it just didn't want to end.**

**Thanks anonymous reviewers: Danni x, MK, Alejandra, and Anna**

Most women probably didn't hate the thought of seeing the man they loved on their vow renewal day but Lisbon did. She hadn't up until a few hours ago but now she did. She was in pain, a bandage stained with red covered her right side just beneath her breast and she just knew that Jane was probably pacing in her office. Cho had called him immediately after she'd been thoroughly checked - she'd been in the car with him when he'd done it and threatened him with desk duty for doing such a thing. He hadn't cared, not even when she'd made her speech of not wanting Jane to worry when everything turned out to be alright. Walking passed the bullpen with a stiff upper lip, she wondered if her husband would be angry with her and then realized that she wasn't so sure she'd care if he was. It'd give her an excuse to bring up his tendency to randomly leave work and home with no explanation and just a few words letting her know that he'd be back. The first time he'd left her after having sex and hadn't come home until almost five in the morning. She'd pretended she was asleep and didn't say anything when he crawled into their bed.

Since that night, he'd managed to stay out until after midnight twice. Just four days and he'd only been home when she went to bed for two of them. She hadn't wanted to fight right before they renewed their vows so she'd kept her mouth shut but she wasn't sure she could if he even tried to mention something about her injury being her fault. If he was angry then she could be too but she was hoping that he wasn't because she wanted some words of comfort, not anger.

She got her answer the second she opened the door to see that he was indeed wearing a hole in the floor with his back and forth motions. Preparing herself for the worst, she silently slipped by him to sink down in her chair. A look of discomfort showed on her face as she eased herself down and it was only then that Jane's feet stopped carrying him from one end of her office to the other and back again. It was almost as if he hadn't even noticed that she'd entered until a little sigh left her lips. After the day she'd had, she wanted nothing more than to just sit back and forget everything that'd happened but the gaze locked onto her own told her that just wasn't going to work out. Although she gave it one last shot by trying to start and steer the conversation away from what didn't matter.

"Hey,"

"Cho called, said you were hurt - shot - and I knew you hadn't worn your vest for routine follow up questions...Teresa,"

"Just a flesh wound. Everything is fine."

"No, no it's not. No one called me."

"Cho did."

"After everything was over." Well, there went her plan to keep things headed in a direction that wouldn't remind her of how she'd spent the last couple hours. "I wanted to know what happened, he wouldn't say. I asked where you were and you know what he told me? That you were in the passenger seat and on your way back here."

"Bear is fine Patrick." Referring to their growing child tucked safely inside her, she saw the flash in his eyes at her attempts to stall his worries. "It's nothing more than a graze."

"Let me see."

"Wha-"

"I want to see it." The man just couldn't let things go. She'd told him that the baby was fine and still he pushed. On any other given day, she'd fight him but after the tornado of emotions that'd run through her system in a short amount of time, she didn't have the energy. Just when she'd gotten comfortable too. Pushing up from her chair, she dropped her shaking fingers to the hem of her shirt - not even bothering to remove her jacket first - and lifted. The reaction was evident in the darkening of his eyes as he gestured for her to pull back the white and red obstruction covering the wound. It was not something that she wanted to do and her mouth opened to refuse but he let his stare drift back up to hers and the words died on her tongue as her hands gently pulled the tape securing the gauze to her skin. Hissing at the feel of the cool air, she watched as his eyes scanned over the area on display. "Oh my..."

"The baby is perfectly healthy, I went to the hospital to make sure. There's no need for this - at least not here." It was when he stepped close, invading her space and brushing his thumb along the skin just below her new battle wound that she felt herself shiver. She let her fingers rest over his to stop him and when he frowned, she let her annoyance win over understanding. She'd tried to reassure him, told him that their child was fine and still he was making her feel as though he didn't trust what she was saying. "It's nothing."

"No it's not! Look at it!" With a roll of the eyes, Lisbon dismissed Jane's concern.

"Oh calm down." It had scared her too but she didn't want him to know that; it would only make things worse. If he found out how truly terrified she'd been once realizing a bullet had snagged her then there'd be no way either of them would be 'happy' when it came down to their six o'clock vow renewal.

"Calm down? Teresa, you're my wife, you're carrying my baby and you were just shot. To make it worse, Cho was the one to tell me and waited until _after _you were on your way back."

"I wasn't shot, I was grazed with a bullet. I was a little busy with getting all bandaged up or I would've called." While she was technically telling the truth, she was also lying through her teeth. She had thought about calling him, even got her phone out to do so while waiting to hear if the baby was okay but she hadn't been able to press that button to connect their phones, to hear his voice. "Bear's fine."

Her words didn't seem to soothe him any and though she was playing it off, she knew exactly what he was thinking and feeling. The moment she'd registered pain was the moment her heart had stopped with fear and her hand had flown to her abdomen to protect her unborn child. It was a reflex now whenever she thought something could potentially cause harm to her baby and she needed Jane to know that she'd do everything in her power to make sure their little one stayed safe.

He came closer still and she had to resist the urge to push him away. They really shouldn't have been doing something like this in her office but when his fingers brushed over the white square to re-cover her cleanly stitched three inch wound, she let him brush his nose against hers. The knots in her stomach eased with the warmth she could feel and it literally seemed as though her fears slipped away as long as he was close. She'd been so terrified that her body dealing with being in shock and pain would harm the baby and it could have if her blood pressure would have spiked dangerously or bottomed out. She was probably lucky. Even though it was just a flesh wound it was deep enough to fit a roll of nickels in and initially it'd shocked her and sent her to the ground.

The nose resting against hers brushed over her skin in a nuzzling motion as Jane's hand trailed over her slightly expanding belly to rub back and forth. It was official that her pants no longer buttoned - they only zipped about half way but she could still hide their little gummy bear under button up blouses and shirts that were a bit loose, like the one she was wearing.

"Why is it," Eyes slipping shut at the whispered words, Lisbon sighed at the feel of his breath on her lips and could only wait for him to continue. "that you think I'm only concerned for the baby?"

The sensations ghosting over her mouth ended when he stopped talking and it took her a minute - between the feel of his fingers stroking her stomach, the ache in her side and his breath on her lips - to register his words. A question that she hadn't quite been paying attention to until his hand stopped it's motion and her shirt fell back into place. It was then that she realized what he'd asked; it was then that she realized his inquiry rang true. She'd been worried about how he'd react because she was pregnant but she hadn't once thought of how he'd react because she was his wife; she'd only been thinking that he'd want to know his baby was okay.

"I-I don't think..."

"I can tell when you're lying m'dear, so why try?" She felt the tips of his fingers on her hip and assumed he was going to attempt and lift her shirt again to be closer to Bear but he didn't. His hand curled around her, pulling her closer until the space between the lower halves of their bodies disappeared. Pulling her face far enough away from his to open her eyes and stare up at him, she saw that he was completely serious and expected an answer.

"I don't know why. I just thought you'd be worried."

"I was - I am but for both of you. When Cho said you'd been hurt, I was in the elevator before he could say anything else and it wasn't just because of our little Gummy Bear." Brow scrunching in confusion, she remembered a time months ago when he'd fallen off of a roof. "I was terrified for you, I love you. I love both of you."

"It just all happened at once and I was trying to keep it together. If I'd called you, I wouldn't have been able to." Staring down to find that they were still pressed against each other, she found it a little disconcerting that she still had such a hard time telling him things like that. She didn't know if it was normal or not but her thoughts were pushed aside when something occurred to her out of the blue, making her jerk her head up in alarm. "We're still renewing our vows, right? I mean, I know you're mad..."

"If I was mad do you think we'd be standing this close?" To emphasize his point, a very brief kiss was pressed to her lips. "We're still on for six. Did Tyler ever call you back for details?"

"No. I guess he's not coming."

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart. I know you really wanted him to be there." She'd been waiting for a call, and even thought of calling him but it turned into she'd give him just one more day, one more hour and one more minute to call. It didn't happen and they were out of days, hours and minutes.

"S'okay, I guess it was kind of stupid to assume things would ever change."

"No, not stupid." Lisbon didn't know what to say to that so she didn't say anything, instead opting to wait for his lead or just bask in silence. "Teresa, I haven't said anything until now because I feel like it's your job and you'd know when to cut back but after today..."

"I'm telling Hightower and cutting down on field work. I came to that conclusion within the first few seconds of realizing what'd happened. " Giving him a quick smile, she leaned into him and didn't even care about location anymore. After what had gone down within the last few hours, Lisbon was sure people could understand the need for human contact burning in both of them. "Thank you by the way, for not pushing me to change things right away. I kind of expected a huge fallout over work limitations."

"You weren't willingly putting yourself and Bear in danger. From the moment you found out, you've been cautious though I doubt you were even aware of that." Flexing her fingers against his back, Lisbon had to admit she was pretty surprised. She'd been practically counting down while waiting for an initial argument over something involving doing her job while pregnant and here he was, telling her that she'd been cautious and hadn't willingly walked into something deemed as a threat. The understanding left her feeling a bit confused. "You're shaking. C'mere."

Any and all resistance was lost when he tucked her head beneath his chin and just held her there for a moment. It didn't matter where they were - everyone knew anyway. She was shaking due to the adrenaline and fear that'd been pumping through her blood and she wanted the warm reassurance that he was offering.

"If anything had happened to either of you, I..."

"We're both okay. I'm in a bit of pain but we're fine." Inhaling the scent of his jacket, she let her eyes slip closed and lost herself in the moment of comfort. She was alive, the baby was too, and though she'd been scared out of her mind, she was beginning to calm. The tremors in her body had started to slow. Jane was actually helping when she'd thought he'd end up making the situation worse by being angry.

"Don't ever scare me like that again and if something does happen when I'm not there then I want to be called immediately." There was the anger she'd been expecting but it was laced with more fear than anything and she knew that was exactly why he clutched her tighter which resulted in a slight wince to slip from her lips. His arms slackened upon hearing it but she really hadn't wanted them to. He was trying not to hurt her by loosening his hold and she was trying to burrow closer by gripping him tighter. She could have lost her baby, she just needed a moment to let the fact that she hadn't fully set in.

* * *

Standing in the middle of a hotel room clad in an ivory strapless dress, Lisbon stared at herself in the mirror and ran her hands over the fabric covering her stomach. She was quite surprised that it fit - a bit tightly - but it still zipped. In all honesty, she'd never pictured herself as the nervous bride about to walk down the aisle but she actually was - minus the aisle part - and it was just a ceremony for show basically. If she wasn't already married to the man, she could only imagine what she'd be feeling. Although it was nothing compared to the dread and nausea she'd had the first time she uttered the words 'I do', she was still unsure of how she really felt about the actual dress and tuxedo ceremony.

Playing mindlessly with her long curls, she gave herself an appreciative once over from head to toe and found herself smirking a bit. She looked good - well she thought so and she knew that Jane would too. He liked her hair down and curly and that's partially the way she'd fixed it. It was half up but he probably wouldn't mind the compromise. She didn't really intend for it to stay very neat anyway.

The dress she actually loved, it was simple and elegant and strangely comfortable. It was strapless and fitted with a skirt that flowed from her hips just a little; she'd never wanted anything poofy and it wasn't but it kind of hid the small bump of her belly. With one last glance, and a weary sigh, she grabbed her bouquet and headed for the main event located in the gardens.

It was a small gathering. Just the team, Cho's girlfriend Elise, Tommy, Jon, Jon's wife Brandi and little Jolisa. No bridesmaids, no groomsmen, just a very small ceremony. Just as she took her place as Jane stood on the other side of the roses, she gave him a nod and in front of their small audience, they both took a step towards each other.

The actual trek was nothing special and she wasn't even aware that her feet were carrying her closer. Her eyes were glued to the man walking towards her and her mind was entangled in thoughts of the baby she could have lost just hours ago.

The baby that only a few knew about. The one she'd told Tyler about; the brother who didn't come. She was more hurt by it than she cared to admit but with a swallow to push back the knot forming, she held her head higher and convinced herself that there was no point in crying over it. There'd been several occurrences in her life that her brothers had missed so this technically wasn't that special...except for some reason, it was and her chest stung in disappointment. She'd wanted him to be amongst the group that had gathered to see her and Jane renew their vows and though she'd known it was highly unlikely for him to be there when he hadn't taken down any information, a small part of her had still hoped.

Stepping a bit quicker, she worked on focusing her emotions on the good - on the man meeting her in the middle. The traditional walk down the aisle had been dismissed by deciding on a mutual effort of walking towards each other to meet in front of the judge who had been the one to marry them so many months ago. With thoughts racing much as they had back then, she kept her eyes on her husband and forced everything else to take a backseat to what was happening.

It wasn't until she was was a few steps from running into Jane that she noticed the seat that'd been empty next to Jon when she'd started her walk was now occupied by Tyler Lisbon and a startled watery smile floated on her lips as he gave her a nod. Returning the subtle gesture, she noticed Jojo sleeping on her father's chest and came to a stop as her handsome husband smiled brightly and did the same.

"You look stunning, Teresa."

"You don't look too shabby yourself." The light breeze ruffled his curls and made the trees and flowers around them rustle softly. The sound was soothing, but as calming as it was, she just wanted to get everything over with, take a picture with Jane and get to the eating part of the shindig. Having the tables in sight now seemed like such a bad idea. "Now can we get this show on the road - I'm starving and there's food waiting."

When she heard the chuckles, she realized just how loudly she'd spoken and the cheeks she'd lightly dusted with blush turned a shade darker. Chancing a glance at the guests, she smiled out of embarrassment and only looked back when Jane said her name softly. The look in his eyes as he started to speak of the future effectively stalled her thoughts and kept her in the moment. She hung on every word that slipped off his tongue - especially the ones signifying love - and when he grew silent, it was her turn. She tried her best to make her own renewal vows just as good as his were although she sincerely felt as though something was missing.

A solitary tear slid down her left cheek as everything hit her like a ton of bricks and she was suddenly grateful for waterproof mascara. She forgot that anyone was present and that she was wearing a dress as he reached up to brush the wet trail away only to be reminded when rings were placed back where they belonged. In a funny way, she felt naked without them and when the brief yet sweet renewal was declared over, warm lips covered her own, a palm rested on her cheek and an arm snaked around her waist.

The playful swipe of his tongue left her wishing they were somewhere private and in retaliation she tugged a bit on his hair - something she knew drove him insane - only to pull away from the kiss at that very moment. Triumphantly smiling at him, she gave a wink and then turned to face their guests who all seemed pleased enough to clap - a few cheers rang out from the small group and she caught Tyler's gaze.

After a few moments of hanging onto Jane's hand while he informed everyone that they were free to eat, Lisbon let go and headed over to where a congregation of three men were standing, talking, while the other eight guests went for the food. Bear wanted the food too but she had to thank them for coming first and thankfully her husband knew that she wanted to do it alone.

"Hey," With a soft smile, she cautiously approached afraid of a potential fight with all of them together. Their conversation however, didn't seem hostile but it was obvious that it was forced. Jon - always the charmer - was the first to greet and envelop her in a hug that caused her a bit of comfort.

"You look amazing Tess." His arm brushed up against her latest injury, putting pressure against it and she immediately stepped away with a sharp breath. "Whoa, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just an injury from work. Kinda sore." Downplaying it majorly, she saw the concern in each of the three faces staring at her though Tyler's showed the most and she knew why - he knew about the baby. "Everything is fine though. I'm really glad you could all make it."

Stepping around to hug Tommy, she was careful to make sure that he didn't do the same as Jon and accidentally cause her pain. Wrapping her arms around his back, she rested her chin on his shoulder as he dipped down to accommodate her stature and whispered a thank you in his ear.

"No problem sis, though I still think you could do better."

"Tommy, I love him and he's a good guy. Googling someone just gives the facts not the feelings." She received a skeptical look when she pulled back to which she just rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Tyler. She didn't know if she should hug him or not so she just stared for a moment. The other two knew about the highly strained relationship and to let things play out without interference. All of them were pretty distant with each other but she and Tyler had the longest running avoidance.

"I didn't think you were coming."

"I almost didn't." The words caused a painful twist in her chest but when he reached for her hand, she felt it ease. "You really do look beautiful, Teresa."

"How'd you know where -"

"Tommy gave me all the information. After you called me, I thought I could at least make an effort to repair some damage." Unable to swallow the lump that'd formed in her throat, she went willingly when he pulled her into a warm hug. The tears broke free from her eyes the second he whispered something too low for Jon-Jon and Tommy to hear. "I never thought you blamed yourself for everything; it wasn't your fault, there was nothing you could have done."

Clutching her brother tighter, Lisbon paid no mind to the pain in her side and only nodded to show that she had heard what he said.

"Thank you. Thank you for coming." Before either of them could say anything more, something solid hit the backs of her legs and a giggle followed.

"Esa! Esa!" Spinning around to see Jolisa clutching her legs, she smiled a the little one just as Jane came waltzing up with a plate full of food.

"Hey Jojo, you look very pretty today." Ignoring everyone else, Lisbon smiled brightly as Jolisa looked down at her green dress covered in crumbs then back up at her Aunt 'Esa'. "Did Uncle Patrick sneak you a cookie?"

The enthusiastic nod told everyone that he had indeed been giving her cookies and with a sigh, Jon-Jon plucked her up from the ground and brushed off her clothes as best he could. He shot Jane a look resembling the ones he received from his wife and Lisbon could only offer a shrug of a shoulder as an apology. She wasn't about to take the fall for her husband although she did discreetly elbow him in the ribs when he got close enough.

"Ow woman! I asked her mother if she could have one, and to think I brought you food." Eyes lighting up at the revelation, she offered a grin when he handed her the plate. A wave of nausea took hold of her stomach and before she could groan in displeasure at the randomness, she was doubling over the nearest trashcan as Jane pulled her hair back.

Only three people besides herself and her husband seemed to know what was going on and kept munching away on various foods but Rigsby was currently spitting out the piece of chicken he'd been inhaling, Elise stared down at her plate skeptically and Jon's wife Brandi lifted an eyebrow while cocking her head to the side. Cho, Van Pelt, and Tyler only looked on as if it was nothing special and when Lisbon raised back up to see everyone staring - even Jojo - her cheeks turned bright red.

It was the knowing look and soft smile Jon's wife gave that told her four other people now knew, though she expected no less from a woman who had already had a child. It was obvious that she'd been fine one minute and then the next she was making friends with an object intended for garbage. An awkward silence had settled but the brilliant grin on Jane's face told her that he planned to announce the news anyway and now he had a reason to go along with it. Giving a simple nod to let him know that she'd handle it, Lisbon opened her mouth to address her small gathering of guests seated at the picnic table only to have Rigsby interrupt unknowingly.

"Maybe we shouldn't eat the food." It was more of a mumble to himself but everyone heard it.

"She didn't touch the food. Tressa, you okay?" Waving off Jon's concern and touch to her arm with a brief tilt of her lips, she once again opened her mouth to make the announcement. She was nervous about it, but excited and when the man she loved squeezed her hand reassuringly she squeezed back.

"If I could have -"

"Are you sure? I don't want eat anything if - "

"Rigsby! Shut up." The tall agent shrunk at her tone and she decided that she'd apologize later - maybe, probably not - but she didn't want to be interrupted again. "Now, as I was saying, I have something important to tell all of you."

"We, my dear, we have something important." This time her glare was directed towards her husband and his somehow cute yet dorky grin plastered face.

"Are we really going to argue over semantics right now? I'm robbing this train, just let me do it my way."

"Well yes, of course but it affects 'us' not just you so I figured you'd want to make that clear."

"It'll be pretty damn clear when I tell them." Forgetting momentarily about the guests, she submersed herself in Jane's gaze for a battle of wills. She'd win, she knew she would but their little quarrel was ended by the clearing of a throat and Van Pelt's voice.

"Guys, we're still here and you wanted to tell us something." It was evident in her tone that she knew exactly what Lisbon had been wanting to say and was encouraging her to get on with it. Tearing her eyes away from the playfully glinting ones of her husband, she turned back to face her small audience and rested her unoccupied hand over her dress clad stomach.

"Before anyone else decides to interrupt I'm just gonna say it; I'm pregnant." The reaction - or lack there of - wasn't what she'd expected. It seemed to take a moment for her words to sink in but once they did a few things happened all at once. Rigsby dropped his plate, the women smiled and her brothers seemed to be in a bit of shock but it was done. She'd told everyone and released the breath she'd been holding before turning back to Jane and smiling triumphantly. "See, my way works."

"Sure it does." A retort was on the tip of her tongue when the news finally seemed to click. Jon-Jon was the first to approach the subject with a rather smug grin on his face. She'd known he'd have a field day with it. He gave her a hard time about 'looking good with a baby' since she'd kept Jojo the first time.

"So Jojo's getting that playmate after all huh? I thought you said I wouldn't be an uncle any time soon, dear sis."

"I'm only four months along, you still have awhile to wait." Everyone had gathered around by that point, no longer interested in the food but more in the news that Lisbon was pregnant.

"Not much longer and regardless, congrats you two." Accepting the one armed hug, she pressed a kiss to his cheek in thanks while ruffling Jojo's hair and then watched when he pulled away to shake Jane's hand. "Remember, I'm hoping for a nephew."

"I didn't know I was taking orders - in that case, Tommy, any specific request?"

"I'm staying out of this one." Reaching out to pat his cheek affectionately, Lisbon gave him a smile. She knew he wasn't one for saying congratulations if he didn't actually mean it, so she showed no surprise when he didn't offer up any words of support. If he didn't like the man she was married to, she highly doubted he'd be jumping for joy once finding out she was pregnant. Although he did give her a soft look, almost as if he was trying to say that he was happy for 'her' but not the man next to her.

"Tyler?"

"All I'm gonna say is that you'll make a great mother." There was a murmur of agreements as Jane wrapped his arm around her waist and she settled into his side rather easily.

"Thank you, Ty. Oh and uh, you haven't formally met my husband, Patrick Jane." Patting the consultant's chest lightly, she watched a flash filter through Tyler's eyes as he studied Jane with a scrutinizing stare.

"Tommy filled me in." Great, she had two against him and one who conspired with him. At least that was her thinking until Tyler offered a hand and let indifference show on his face. "Nice to meet you."

Okay, so it was one brother against him, one all for him and one just didn't care much. It did bother her a little that Tyler didn't seem to care but it was better than all of them hating the man she'd married and so far, their little reunion had been going swimmingly. Granted they hadn't been talking about anything other than pointless matters up until mentioning the baby.

Ignoring her growling stomach, she proceeded to play hostess and introduced everyone to each guest. She felt surprisingly well considering how the day had played out and though it seemed she'd managed to shock a few people, it wasn't so bad. She could've done without the vomiting in front of everyone. That'd definitely stunned and confused a few people.

Although if she had to pick who looked the most shocked, she'd go with Rigsby. Cho already knew, so did Grace, and Tyler. Jonathan's wife, Brandi had seemed to have figured it out on her own and Elise just looked as though it wasn't that big of a surprise. Little Jolisa had happily chattered away seemingly unaware of the adults congratulating her aunt for something that she didn't understand, though the moment a baby was brought up, she'd grown quite excited at the prospect of a playmate.

* * *

"Are you serious?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Staring incredulously at the man in front of her for a few seconds, Lisbon huffed and let her hands rest on her hips.

"It's dumb."

"It's tradition, now c'mon. I didn't do this when we married, let me do it now." Something told her that Jane wouldn't give up until he'd persuaded her so with an exaggerated sigh, she slumped her shoulders and gave him a curt nod. Arguing was getting them no where and she didn't particularly want to stand outside the entire night barefoot and in a dress.

"Fine, but if you drop me..."

"I won't." Whimpering a little in protest when he dipped to place an arm behind her knees, she locked her hands behind his neck and let him lift her from the ground. This was incredibly stupid in her opinion but if he wanted to carry her over the threshold then she just didn't have the energy to fight him forever on it. There'd been times that he carried her up to the bedroom but it worried her a bit now that she was pregnant and gaining weight.

To his credit, he didn't drop her or even struggle to carefully cross into their home with her in his arms and he'd even been wary of her hurting side. When her feet were placed on the carpet, she dropped her shoes to the floor, held onto him and waited for what she assumed would be the beginning of a night of passionate touch and great sex. Her eyes closed of their own free will whilst she leaned into him a little waiting for the warm sensation of his mouth.

His fingers moved up to tangle in her long curls and she released a soft sigh as he kicked the door closed. When they'd married, they weren't to a point where they could actually enjoy their first night as husband and wife - she intended to remedy that with this go around. She even had a dress for him to ease her out of but the seconds ticked by and he didn't kiss her. He just played with her hair and rested his forehead against hers.

"You were shot today, remember?" In an attempt to tell him not to start in on such a minor detail, she closed the distance and settled her mouth over his. Wasting no time, she let her teeth and tongue play with the tender flesh until he was sighing against her lips and allowing her the access she wanted. The warm sensual kiss lasted only a short while before he seemed to remember his argument and reluctantly pulled back. "You're hurt."

"So be gentle." Nipping his bottom lip, she teased it to earn a moan and serve as a distraction. "I know you want to get me out of this dress."

"Teresa..." The low growl rumbling from deep in his chest only proved her statement to be true and when she caught his free hand to move it around to the zipper, she felt his hesitance rolling off of him in waves. "I don't think this is a good idea."

"C'mon Patrick," Sliding her hands to push his jacket off his shoulders, she impatiently arched into him and was proud to admit that it only caused a small amount of pain. "I want to do what we didn't the first night we were married - like a 'wedding night' do-over."

"Not tonight."

"It'll only work tonight. We're even dressed the part." His fingers didn't tug the zipper and when her gaze locked with his, she could see that he wasn't planning on giving in. With a sigh of frustration, she dropped her head to his chest and grumbled. "I'm not getting laid tonight, am I?"

"Such a way with words you have - so ladylike - but no, it's been a long day." He had a point there, she was rather tired but that didn't stop her from wanting to spend the night making love and the hands soothing over her back and stroking through her hair did nothing to squelch the desire. It wasn't even two seconds and his fingers were deftly removing the pins keeping half of her hair pulled back from her face. When it was free, he tossed the unnecessary objects on the table and took more liberties with weaving his hand into her dark strands. Humming in content, she wrapped her arms around his waist and came to terms with the fact that she'd just have to remain unsatisfied for the night though she had no intentions of making it easy on him.

"If we're not doing anything earth shattering, what do you say we go over some names in that book you just had to have?"

"Sounds good. I'll get us some drinks and meet you upstairs." Giving a noncommittal grunt, she disentangled her body from his and started up the stairs as he headed into the kitchen. She heard the faucet turn on just as she entered the bedroom. Disappointed with how things were turning out, she reached around for the zipper on her dress and tugged it down. The loosening of fabric was welcomed with a deep breath.

"Y'know Bear, you're starting to make it very hard for Mommy to fit in her clothes." Rubbing over the bump still hidden by white cloth, she realized she'd never referred to - or even thought of - herself as 'Mommy' before. "I don't mind though as long as you're healthy. Never thought I'd say this while looking at my stomach but I love you so much and I was so scared that I could have lost you today."

She hadn't realized exactly how much she'd come to love the thought of being a mother until she'd been put in a situation where she could've lost the chance. She no longer cared that she'd never actually talked to the baby before or that it felt a bit odd at first. All she cared about was feeling closer to her child and this helped. After the day she'd had, it definitely helped.

"I've never done this whole 'Mom' thing, so I'm gonna apologize now for all the times I screw it up. Well, I sort of raised my brothers but it's a little different since you're a baby."

"It's not so different." Jumping and removing her hand from her stomach to rest it over her pounding heart, she spun to face the man who interrupted her bonding session.

"You scared the crap outta me. Don't do that."

"M'sorry." Cheeks flushing, she wondered how much he'd heard as he placed two glasses of water on the nightstand. "Don't be embarrassed."

"I'm not." The skepticism showed in the way he chuckled and stepped closer to her.

"Liar. Really Reeses, you don't need to be embarrassed because I caught you talking to Bear - it's not as though he's an imaginary friend."

"Hush." She didn't even care that he had a point or that his hands had moved to carefully tug her dress down to her hips; she was still a bit embarrassed and it really didn't have anything to do with the fact that she was talking to her baby. It was because she hadn't censored anything; she'd let her feelings pour out thinking no one could hear. "How long were you standing there?"

"Long enough to hear you refer to yourself as 'Mommy', which I must say is incredibly attractive." Skin heating for an entirely different reason, she let her lips part on a silent sigh when he pushed the dress off her hips and let it fall to the floor in a heap.

"I thought we weren't having sex tonight."

"I'm just helping my wife get ready for bed." Rolling her eyes, Lisbon stepped out of the dress and bent to pick it up off the floor. She didn't want it ruined when a perfectly good hanger was only a few feet away. Despite wanting nothing more than to stay close to Jane and let his hands continue caressing her hips, she moved away to hang the dress in it's protective bag in the back of her closet.

Paying him no mind, she went about her rituals while he shed the tuxedo and slipped into a shirt and pants. She wanted him in less clothing but chose to take what she could get while unsnapping her strapless bra and flinging it into a pile of dirty clothes behind the door. The sharp intake of breath brought a smirk to her lips - she'd offered. Taking her own sweet time to find a more suitable bra to sleep in, she practically outright laughed when he grumbled.

"Are you sure you just wanna go through baby names tonight, Patrick?"

"Quit being a tease."

"I'm not teasing, I'm looking for a bra." Plucking one that she knew fit comfortably out of the drawer, she offered him a grin and went through the motions of putting it on. It was gray and didn't match her underwear but she didn't much care. "See, found one."

"I think pregnancy makes you overly impish, maybe you should just be pregnant all the time."

"Spoken like a true man." Ignoring his reasons for why, she excused herself to wash up only to be followed into the bathroom as he spouted off more 'logical' reasons she should just stay pregnant.

"...makes your breasts bigger..." And that was when he caught her attention, making her whirl around to face him with raised eyebrows.

"Are you saying there's something wrong with them when I'm not pregnant?"

"Well, no, of course not I'm just -"

"Really so you didn't just imply that you'd like my breasts more if they were bigger?"

"That's not what I -"

"I didn't realize you were such a chest man." Turning back to face the sink, she turned on the tap and grabbed a cloth from under the cabinet. It was rather nice to knock Jane down a peg or two and she had to admit that she loved seeing him squirm. "Typical, y'know. Completely typical."

"Oh c'mon Teresa, are we really going to argue about your breast size?"

"Well apparently it means a lot to you." Barely containing a giggle, she hid her smile in the wet washcloth while simultaneously removing her makeup. It was just too much fun to see him at a loss for words and there was no way she'd pass up such an opportunity to tease him mercilessly. Showing no amusement whatsoever, she scooted over a bit to give him room when he reached for his toothbrush.

"You know I didn't mean anything by that. Your breasts are perfect."

"Yeah, now that they're bigger."

"Ye - no. I mean yeah they're lovely but..." Unable to keep up the charade, Lisbon dissolved into a fit of laughter that left her in stitches. It was a rarity for her to pull one over on him and the fact that he'd actually bought into it was just too great. "You mean little woman, you enjoyed that didn't you?"

"Very much so." With a smile still in place, she grabbed the toothpaste from his hand and made no apologies for her little game. It was rather fun and when he finished up in the bathroom and left her alone, she let out a few quiet giggles. Maybe he was right - maybe pregnancy did make her rather impish. Patting her bare middle, she rinsed her toothbrush and placed it back next to his.

He was already propped up in bed with the book of names in hand when she walked into their room and moved to settle in beside him. A frown crinkled his brow when he looked at her and for a second she wondered if she'd actually made him angry but then she noticed his eyes were glued to the bandage just below her bra. It really wasn't that big of a deal, although it did tend to pull rather uncomfortably and it ached but nothing she couldn't handle.

"You plan on sleeping in just that?" Glancing down at her attire of just her underwear, she bit her lip and nodded. "You do this just so you have an excuse to hog the blankets, don't you?"

"I don't hog the blanket."

"Yes you do, you also steal all the pillows if I let you." Smacking at his arm, she shook her head in disbelief and propped herself up next to him to peek over at the book. It took only moments before she gave up trying to see from that angle and settled against his side. It became clear that he was searching girl names when he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and let her rest her head on his chest. "I like Adalyn."

"Mm, it's okay."

"Chelsea?"

"Chelsea Jane? No." Nose wrinkling in distaste, she let her eyes scan through and realized the page he was on listed names starting with the letter 'A'. Where the heck had he gotten Chelsea?

"You're going to be one of those picky women that hates every name I suggest aren't you?"

"Well according to you I hog the covers, steal the pillows and my breasts aren't to your liking so I might as well shoot down your ideas while I'm at it." Sharing a chuckle, she lifted her hand to point out one she thought was really pretty, rather uncommon too which is something she liked. "Ashyla...I really like that. Ashyla Rose Jane."

"Rose? When did we come up with Rose as a middle name?"

"Sorry, I just...it was my mother's middle name and I always thought - nevermind." Tucking herself further into his side, Lisbon swallowed nervously and pretended to go back to reading through the list.

"Don't do that, don't close up. Just finish what you were saying." A few seconds of silence passed and then she shifted to look up at him.

"Rose was my mother's middle name and I always swore that if I ever had a daughter, I'd pass it along. I know it's kind of dumb and most people use the first name to remember someone but it's something I've always thought of one day doing. If you don't like it..."

"I didn't say I didn't like it and it's not dumb to name a child after someone you love. So it's agreed that if we have a girl her middle name shall be Rose." With a small smile tugging her lips, she relaxed back into him.

"Thank you." A kiss was pressed to her hair and a shiver sent her reaching for the blankets. Jane just chuckled and muttered something under his breath about her choice of night clothes but she ignored it to snuggle into the comforter. In five minutes she'd be kicking them off in a sweat anyway. Jane knew her habits and since she was pregnant, he'd learned that her body temperature was never the same for any duration of time.

She grew quiet, only pointing out random names and giving input if he asked. When she stopped answering, he looked down to see her eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Closing the book, he placed it on the nightstand, turned out the light and eased her over to her side of the bed. A light groan fell from her lips but she didn't wake; she never even wiggled when he pressed his lips to her forehead, then the bandage covering her most recent wound and finally down to the swell of her belly. His baby was in there, growing stronger everyday and just the thought sent his heart racing. He hadn't kept them safe like he'd promised.

She rolled away from him to her side and he took the opportunity to slip from the bed with minimal movement. He didn't want to wake her or she'd ask questions and he didn't have the answers she'd be looking for. Quietly slipping into a pair of jeans, he tiptoed out of their bedroom and let his thoughts consume him. She'd been shot while pregnant and he could have lost the family he was building - he needed to do something to take his mind off of that. Their vow renewal had only served to remind him and although she'd looked so beautiful and alive, he simply hadn't been able to forget long enough to enjoy the company she'd been offering for the night.

He needed something to take his mind of the bandage covering her and the stitches in her skin. He knew exactly what he had to do to relax and without second guessing himself, he vowed to be back before she woke - just like he had been the last couple of days. It was relatively early, a little passed ten and he knew it wasn't too late to call. Grabbing his phone from the coffee table, he headed for the door and waited until he was outside to dial a familiar number.

"Meet me in twenty minutes."

**a/n: So yeah, REALLY long chapter...oops. Is Fanfiction messing up on anyone else? I'll update Dissolve tomorrow or maybe later today...it depends but it's half written and I could finish it if I wanted to - I'm trying to type some for Family Revelations and Believe though. **

**Next: _"I know you can't really choose or anything in there but I really hope you're a boy. I mean I love you either way, you're my little Gummy Bear but I think it'll be easier on Daddy if you aren't a girl. I've always kinda liked the thought of having a daughter but I don't think your daddy is ready for that - I still don't think he's ready for any of this."_**


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: Pfft, you're so funny. **

**A/N: Well, here's the next chapter, definitely shorter than the last but I really hope that you like it nonetheless. All I really wanted to get out this time was her talk with Hightower and some set-up for the next few chapters. Thank you to all of my reviewers, honestly you guys are pretty insanely awesome and there will be a treat for each of you in the near future...(okay, maybe not really near because of college and what-not but still)**

Bright and early could describe the moment that Lisbon chose to explain to her boss why she needed to cut down on field work. After getting shot just several days before, she wasn't about to take any more chances and although she was tempted to ask Jane to come along for the ride, she didn't. She could face Hightower on her own just fine and planned to do just that. The walk to her office seemed longer for some reason and Lisbon wiped her hands on her maternity pants and adjusted her shirt. It looked as though she'd gained a bit of a belly and although it was obvious, it was still rather discreet looking. Not quite to the point of people 'knowing' just by seeing her but if it was someone she saw on a daily basis then it was a bit more self explanatory. She wasn't hiding anymore by wearing shirts that were too big, she'd gone shopping and bought some work appropriate maternity attire that seemed to accentuate her stomach more than anything else.

The whole reason she was telling Hightower was simply because she didn't want to be in a dangerous situation and because her wardrobe gave it away. If she turned to the side, it was definitely noticeable and though others who didn't spend day in and day out with her would just think she had a little belly, her boss would not.

Knocking lightly, she waited for the okay to enter and was actually a little relieved when she walked in. Hightower was busy with some papers on her desk and hadn't looked up. Taking the initiative to sit in an attempt to hide it just a little bit longer, she crossed her legs and sat patiently. Resiting the urge to chew her lip or thumbnail, Lisbon watched the woman in front of her sign something and then look up to meet her gaze while setting the papers aside.

"What can I do for you, Agent Lisbon?"

"I need to let you know that I'm taking myself out of the field." The confusion showed when she furrowed her brow and Lisbon knew it was time to just come out with it. In a somewhat strong yet soft tone, she did just that. "I'm pregnant and after what happened a few weeks ago, I don't want to take any chances."

"I see." The pause had Lisbon shifting uncomfortably in the seat and the second she uncrossed her legs and leaned back a bit, she knew she'd managed to show off her 'bump'. The raised eyebrow asked the question without any verbalization needed.

"I'm sixteen weeks and fully aware that I should have informed you sooner, ma'am but with everything that can happen..."

"I understand." In all honesty, Lisbon had figured that she probably would - after all, Hightower had kids of her own and knew the risks involved but the warmth still stunned her a little. "So you want light duty?"

"Yes ma'am."

"When are you due?"

"The eighteenth of February." Feeling uncomfortable with the conversation, she rested a hand on her stomach and let her thumb lightly brush back and forth. It was oddly comforting to her and she didn't even care that her boss was witnessing it. "I should probably ask about maternity leave."

"I'll get everything sorted. Is that all you needed?" Taking that as her cue to leave, Lisbon nodded in affirmation and pushed up from the chair. Smoothing down her shirt, she turned to go and felt as though a weight had been removed from her shoulders. It hadn't been nearly as awkward as she'd expected. "Oh, Agent Lisbon?"

"Yes?"

"Congratulations, you better hope that little one doesn't act like it's father." Muttering a thanks, she quickly exited the office and grumbled at the thought of a mini Jane running around. One was bad enough and he was already corrupting her niece. On her way back to her own little cubby of an office, she made a vow to make sure her child took after her in the behavior department although something was already telling her that it wouldn't be an easy task.

Bypassing the bullpen, she headed straight for the door with her name printed on it and only let out the breath she'd been holding once inside. For some reason, she always felt safe once in the domain of her office and this time was no different. Dropping her gaze to her distended stomach, she decided to forgo the desk chair and try out the couch for a bit. Resting her back against the arm and stretching her legs out in front of her, Lisbon smiled when she felt the baby move. It'd happened a few times over the last few days, at first she'd thought it was just a nervous flutter but then it'd happened again and again. She'd read about 'quickening' as it was called and realized she was experiencing the movement of her baby; she'd chattered excitedly to Jane about feeling it for over an hour after that.

He'd been slightly upset that it hadn't been a kick or something he could feel but still supportive and excited for her. He'd been sleeping - when he was home - with his hand over her stomach since and she knew he was hoping their baby would do something that he'd be able to feel. Blowing a thing stream of air between her lips, Lisbon poked at her rounded middle to feel the movement again. Sobering, she thought of where her husband could be going in the middle of night and why. It had to have something to do with the baby and that was worried her most of all. Maybe he'd started to change his mind about wanting more kids.

In a loving tone, she greeted her unborn child and let her thoughts of Jane control her words. She was worried about him; about how he'd react when they found out the sex of their baby. If it was a girl would he actually be okay or would he pretend and let his mind torture him slowly until he grew to resent them both? There were so many possibilities and that was why she hadn't wanted to have a baby so early in their marriage.

"Hey, little one. I can feel you and it's kinda weird because I still forget at times that you're in me." Smiling to herself, she shimmied to get more comfortable and then sighed when her mind raced with more doubts. "I know you can't really choose or anything in there but I really hope you're a boy. I mean I love you either way, you're my little Gummy Bear but I think it'll be easier on Daddy if you aren't a girl. I've always kinda liked the thought of having a daughter but I don't think your daddy is ready for that - I still don't think he's ready for any of this."

The sound of the door drew her attention away from the baby and made her smile disappear. The man who had entered didn't look so happy, he looked rather hurt and she knew immediately that she shouldn't have said anything; she'd just been talking about anything on her mind and that'd happened to be it.

"Is that what you think?"

"Patrick, I -"

"You think I'm not ready to be a father again?" Unable to form a response, she dropped her gaze and shook her head. No, she didn't think he was ready and if there were ever a time to admit it this seemed to be it since he'd overheard something he shouldn't have. "I didn't realize you felt that way."

"How am I supposed to feel? You're never even home anymore and it started _after _we found out I'm pregnant; you always leave and don't come back until three or four in the morning. You disappear from work too and more so since the incident a few weeks ago."

"And that makes you question if I'm ready for this baby?" The tone of his voice sent a shiver through her and before she could answer, he was stepping closer and she responded by pushing up from the couch. Standing face to face, she let her eyes trace over the worry lines present on his brow and the emotion dancing behind his eyes. The look he was giving her resembled one she hadn't seen in awhile - one that he'd shown several times in the very beginning of their relationship when she had nothing but doubts.

She felt as though they were right back to where they started. With her doubting things and Jane trying to understand but eventually he always just reached a point where things escalated and she knew this was that point. For the first time in months she found herself thinking that perhaps they should have never married. The thought made her angry, a little sad and with a hand over her gummy bear, she straightened her spine and narrowed her eyes.

"I'm not questioning anything."

"Yes you are. I heard you - you want to have a boy because you don't think I can handle a girl." Taking a step closer, she rested one hand on his chest in an attempt to comfort him but it only made him jerk away.

"You weren't supposed to hear that and you can't stand there and tell me that it wouldn't be difficult if this baby is a girl."

"No, I can't tell you that and I wouldn't want to. Yes, it'd be difficult but dammit Teresa, so is this." Flinching at his outburst, Lisbon crossed her arms over her chest and ducked her head to stare at the floor. "This whole thing, being married again and having a family, it's all hard sometimes but that doesn't mean I love you any less just like I won't love this child any less based on gender."

"It'd be easier -"

"I don't want easy, if I wanted easy I never would have married you." For some reason those words actually stung, causing an uncomfortable tightening in her chest and a lump to form in her throat. She tried to swallow it back down but couldn't and instead of apologizing for her doubts, she let her anger with him boil over. It was his fault too and she wasn't about to forget about his late night disappearances.

"Maybe you shouldn't have." The whisper was a lot more raw with emotions than she'd intended it to be and she kept her eyes glued to the floor as a tear leaked down her cheek. She didn't even know why she was getting so upset but it frustrated her and when Jane tried to touch her, she shooed him away with a shake of her head.

"You don't mean that."

"No, I don't because then I wouldn't have Bear but where do you go when you leave work early or disappear after I'm asleep?" Determined to find out if her suspicions were true, she waited for an answer and wiped at her dampened face. If he was meeting someone then she wanted to know - she needed to.

"Don't change the subject." Frowning at the lack of answer, she let her thoughts run wild with possibilities and she hated every single one of them. His hand moved to lift her chin as he stepped closer and the look on his face had changed into something soft, caring. "I'm not cheating on you if that's what you're thinking."

"Then where do you go? Why do you leave? If you need some time, just tell me."

"I can't tell you where I go and I don't need 'time'. This is about the fact that you're thinking it'd be easier on me if we have a boy when you've never even asked me how I felt about it." Moving away from the touch of his hands, Lisbon plopped back down on the couch and let out a heavy sigh.

"What do you mean you 'can't' tell me? I'm your wife and yes, I think it'd be easier on you but that doesn't mean I think you won't love our child."

"I don't want to fight with you, let's just talk about this when we get home - I have somewhere to be." Even with her hormones driving her up the wall, and making her vision blur, she still managed an eye roll and scoff.

"Of course you do." He opened his mouth, ready to retaliate but then seemed to think better of it and just turned around to leave her slumped on her office couch with her doubts and worries. She wasn't alone though, she had Bear and for some reason that fact was comforting enough to have her pushing all negative thoughts away long enough to get up and peek out through the blinds. She watched him go, watched as he stood talking to Cho for a good five minutes before heading for the elevator.

It clicked together in her head, Cho could know something. Sure, it could have been a shot in the dark but it was better than anything else she'd come up with and in her opinion that made it worth poking around. Work came first though, she'd always said that her marriage wouldn't mess with her professional life and she wasn't going to let it start anytime soon. It was too early in the day to drudge things up and even though Jane had already left, she was the boss and there were things to be done. She'd have to confront Cho later.

A day of working without Jane around wasn't nearly as interesting, though Lisbon had no plans to ever let him in on that little tidbit of information. No one came to pester her or made sure she'd eaten something and at around noon, she'd rummaged through the bottom drawer of her desk to fish out the bag of gummy bears she'd stashed away. It wasn't nearly as fun eating them when she had no idea where the man who bought them had wandered off to. In a desperate attempt to keep herself in check, she'd swallowed a handful of squishy little bears and tried to think of rational reasons for his absence.

Until he'd mentioned it, she'd never even considered him cheating on her. He was Jane; he was the one who fought to convince her to marry him and kept fighting afterwards to make her see that he actually loved her. So no, she'd never let her mind wander down that road but now it was plaguing her. Why'd he bring it up? Why wouldn't he just tell her the truth? It had to be something he was trying to keep hidden or something he was ashamed of. All the pondering made her head hurt and her fingers itch to reach for her cell phone. It'd be easy to call or text him but there was no guarantee he'd answer and she wasn't quite that desperate.

The hours ticked by, she stared at her phone, but it only rang twice and neither time was the man she wanted it to be. It was Rigsby once and then Van Pelt. No Jane. He'd been gone all day and around five, she decided to confront Cho. Leaving the confines of her office, she took deliberate, swift steps to the bullpen and once setting sights on the man she was looking for, she promptly strolled up next to his desk and waited for him to acknowledge her presence. The moment he looked up, she opened her mouth.

"Do you know where Jane went this morning?" Straight to the point and unwilling to beat around the bush, Lisbon brushed her bangs out of her eyes and rested an arm over her chest in a slightly defensive pose.

"Why would I know?"

"He was talking to you before he left." His shoulders straightened and he looked over at Rigsby as if they both knew something that she didn't. A few seconds of silence passed, making her impatient and nervous about the answer she'd receive if she kept digging. "Cho?"

"You should ask him."

"I did and he left. If he's in trouble then I need to know about it."

"He's not." The words proved that Cho knew where her husband had gone and with a raised eyebrow she glanced at all three agents to realize they all knew. It was in the body language and the guilty look on Van Pelt's face.

"Okay, would someone please tell me what's going on?"

"It's nothing." Growing more frustrated by the minute, Lisbon groaned out loud and decided that if they wanted to be childish about it then she could be too. Maneuvering around to the couch, she sank down on the cushion and leaned back until she was staring up at the ceiling. It was more comfortable than the couch in her office and if she was going to be spending any amount of time on it, she wanted to be comfortable.

"I'm staying out here until someone tells me the truth." Wiggling around a little, she let her eyes catch on the stain above her and a sigh flew from her lungs. "Is he with someone?"

The question would sound innocent to anyone who happened to hear it but she knew that the hint of vulnerability in her tone shone through enough for her team to understand the hidden meaning. The collective intake of breath also let her know that they knew exactly what she was asking. She never thought she'd ask such a thing and until he'd brought the topic up, it hadn't ever tortured her.

"No." Three voices, one word and yet it didn't make her feel any better. If anything it added to the doubts and theories bubbling up in her imagination. She hated the heaviness she could feel in the pit of her stomach; she hated that she was feeling much like she had in the beginning months of their union.

* * *

The splintering wood was no match for the granules of the sandpaper and with each swipe, Jane could see that it was getting smoother and smoother. He'd been at it for hours, long sweat-filled hours that had him dying to finish it. He wanted to get it done before heading home to a woman who would probably be full of nothing but questions. He still didn't know what to tell her. The back and forth motion of his hand provided therapy for his unsettled mind and when he wiped the beads of sweat forming on his brow away with his forearm, he took a step back to admire the work he'd put into his task. He'd exhausted most of the hurt and anger he felt over the things Lisbon had said.

It was smooth, ready to be stained and with a grin, he ran his fingers over it just to be sure. Standing on a step littered with various tools, Jane heard the door open and knew help had arrived. That meant it was evening and he'd managed to spend all day doing odds and ends when he'd initially only meant to stay until around noon. He'd only wanted to give his wife some time to calm down but he knew that staying away for the full work day had probably accomplished the opposite.

Knowing he was being watched, Jane spun around with his arms outstretched and gave his guest a bright smile.

"How does it look, Cho?"

"Lisbon thinks you're cheating on her." His face fell, arms dropped, and his good mood diminished greatly. "I told you buying a house without her knowledge was a bad idea."

"Why would she think that when I specifically told her I was doing no such thing?"

"My guess, the denial triggered the thoughts. Nice work on the stairs." Muttering to himself, he tried to figure out why she'd think he was being unfaithful. The only reason he'd mentioned it in her office was to try and lighten the mood. It was intended as a bait for her to laugh off; she was supposed to think the idea was absurd not consider it was remotely plausible. "When are you going to tell her about this place?"

"I want to finish up the master bathroom first that way, the living room and kitchen are all that will be left for her to help out on."

"Remind me again why you didn't get a contractor?" Sitting himself on the second stair, he rubbed his hand along the handrail to revel in the smooth texture.

"Oh c'mon. We've been doing fine."

"By we, you mean me and Rigsby?" Frowning at the implication, Jane looked down at his paint stained clothes and then back to the man moving to sit next to him.

"I've helped." He had helped a bit, it was his house after all and although he wasn't much for the actual physical labor aspect, he'd wanted to play a part in fixing it up to share with his new family. That was the whole reason he'd bought the place - it needed work. "Teresa's gonna love these stairs."

"She's gonna be mad at you."

"Meh, she'll be fine and once she sees that the nursery is completely set-up, it'll be a huge relief. She's been pestering me about picking out cribs and such." Looking around the foyer, Jane could almost see them walking through the front door, tossing keys on a little table next to it and proceeding either up the stairs or to the right if they'd rather have couch time. "I can't believe she actually thinks I'm cheating."

"She's pregnant and hormonal and you've been staying out all hours of the night - what'd you expect her to think?"

"Point taken but I can't tell her yet. I want it to be a surprise."

"Well that isn't going to work much longer when she knows that something is up. She took over your couch and refused to leave the bullpen until somebody told her where you'd gone for the day." The look of alarm must have been rather obvious because Cho cracked a small grin at him. "No one said anything, she fell asleep after about an hour."

"This house is supposed to represent a brand new beginning for both of us and the baby. I want it to be close to finished when I tell her about it but today she just...she doesn't think I'm ready to be a father again." Taking in a deep breath, Jane let his own worries take over for a brief moment. He wanted some insight and though he knew Cho wasn't one for knowing every little detail about their lives, he was the blunt type. Jane needed that. "I overheard her saying she wanted the baby to be a boy so it'd be easier on me."

"No offense but you're an idiot."

"Well that's not very nice." Wiping his hands on his stained up jeans, he waited for Cho to continue with an explanation for the name calling.

"Lisbon is completely selfless. Everybody knows that and it seems to me like she's only thinking of you. If you took that as an insult then you're an idiot."

"I know she meant well." Cho was right, Lisbon was the selfless type who put others first and their needs over her own but it still bothered him a little that she was so ready to squash her want for a daughter just in hopes to make something easier for him. It wasn't right. "Enough about that, what do you say we finish up that bathroom so I can give my wife her extremely late wedding present?"

"I say your wife is going to kill you when she finds out you bought a fixer-upper house without her consent."

**a/n: Do you think they should have a boy or a girl? They find out in the next chapter by the way. I've already decided but I'm just curious as to what all the readers think.**

**Thanks to my anonymous reviewers: Y.N.J (for reviewing the very first chapter), kaykay, shayla, MK, Anna, charlie(for saying this is your favorite story), Lisbon69, and patrick.**

**Next: _He said he wasn't; she had to believe that but then why did it suddenly feel as though someone had punched her in the gut? Fingers tightening around the fabric, she decided to confront him about the rosy stain and this time she wouldn't let him walk away. She was going to find out where he kept running off to and she could only hope that he had a good explanation._**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: I own nada.**

**A/N: So I moved into my dorm and the only complaint I have is that for some reason, the campus internet won't let me edit documents on here so I have to do it all on my OpenOffice Writer and then upload it. That being said, obviously a few things will change with my chapters. Like scene breaks and such. I just thought I'd explain why I suddenly changed things. Also, I felt like adding the most popular guess for the sex of the baby was: girl. **

It should have been a good day. It should have been a happy day but from the moment of waking to rainy cool weather, Lisbon hadn't felt all too overly exuberant. There was a sinking sensation in her chest, a feeling that had her rolling from the bed and paying no mind to the body next to her. If there was ever a word to describe how things had been for last week, tense fit perfectly. There had been a half-ass apology from each of them but nothing more. No kiss, no touch, no sex – nothing and she actually missed him. She really missed Patrick despite the fact that Jane was always around. It seemed as though they actually were reverting back to the way things had been so many months ago.

Over the last few days things had gone from just plain tense to politely tense. They went through the motions of being together, living together, but it felt rather empty. Lisbon hated that she'd managed to muck things up and yet she still couldn't voice the words aloud. He'd messed up too and until he made a move to fix things, she was left unsure of what to do. Just when she'd finally let herself get used to the idea of being wife and mom, she was thrust back into the awkwardness she'd felt in the beginning.

By the time she made it into the bathroom with her clothes, she was feeling a little bit of excitement as well as a bit of dread. She had to get ready for her doctors appointment and the thought of possibly learning the sex of her baby was fresh on her mind. Sadly it also meant she was still worried about the outcome of the visit.

A week of letting things fester and when she glanced in the mirror the toll was presently obvious. Her eyes gave it away and with a ragged breath, she let her hands grasp the hem of her shirt to tug it off. The fabric fell to the floor as she settled her hands on the waistband of her shorts. Pushing them down, she let a soft smile pull at the corners of her mouth. The baby was moving, probably a little unhappy at her bent position.

"Sorry Bear. Gotta work with me here, I'm still getting used to this." Patting her bump, she let herself wonder if things would change after they found out the gender of their unborn child and received the results from the Quad Marker Screen she'd had at her fifteenth week. Honestly she was worried about it; she was over thirty-five and although her doctor had been pleasantly surprised at how healthy she was for her age, the risk of complications still loomed. As it did with any pregnancy, she'd just upped the chances by joining late in the game. "Please be okay, you're all I have at the moment and until Daddy and I make up, it's just us. According to the doctor, you can't hear me quite yet but please be okay."

She didn't really care that it was around the twentieth week before Bear could hear, she still liked talking to the bump of her stomach and didn't plan to stop. Quickly she finished undressing so she could get the shower out of the way and work on breakfast. She was hungry, her stomach was growling but she wanted to be clean and smelling nice for the appointment. Plus the shower would give her time to really think even though it felt like that was all she'd been doing for days. Thinking of how things would pan out and where her husband still kept disappearing to. He didn't even try to hide it now.

The steamy water loosened her muscles and relaxed her enough to have her lazily washing her hair in slow strokes and trying to decide what to do after her appointment. The day was hers and she really needed to get some baby shopping done. She didn't want to wait until last minute but every time she mentioned nursery furniture or colors she'd like to paint, Jane always changed the subject. She was five months exactly, they needed to seriously start on getting some things or they'd never get around to it.

A cool gust of air invaded the shower as the curtain was pulled back and her eyes caught on the bare culprit. Jane didn't offer a smile or good morning, he just climbed in with her and watched as she rinsed the last remnants of shampoo from her hair. The silence was unsettling – just as it had been all week – but she tried to look past it. She offered a small tilt of her lips in an attempt at waving the white flag just for the day.

"Patrick, you okay?"

"You didn't wake me; I needed a shower." His muscles were tensed, that much she could tell just by looking and she knew that hers probably were too. It was becoming harder and harder to find something to say to him without forcing it. It was no secret that they needed to sit down and hash things out before they let it get to the point of being impossible to fix.

"I'm finished, I'll just get out of your way."

"Wait," A hand wrapped around her wrist when she moved to step out, stalling her movements and before she could open her mouth to ask what he was doing, warm lips settled over her own. The first touch in a week and she felt as though she was a starving woman. It didn't matter that she was still rather upset with him, her body heated and craved him. He didn't take it any further than just a quick brush of mouths but it was something and when he rubbed the swell of her lower stomach, a knot formed in her throat. "I don't want to fight today, Teresa."

"We're not fighting. I don't know what we're doing."

"Avoiding. Back to what we're best at." Lisbon knew he was right and let her fingers tangle with the ones he had resting on her abdomen. It wasn't an apology on either side but it was more than they'd shared in the previous days and it helped with the nerves she was feeling. "Let's just agree to be at peace for the day."

The warmth radiating from his body paired with the sensations of the water pelting down from the shower had her feeling tingly all over as the first waves of desire burned through her veins. She wanted nothing more than to shove him against the wall and make her frustrations known but it wouldn't help anything and she didn't want to be late.

It was harder to take a step away than she'd thought it would be but she left him to shower alone without another word falling from her lips. After quickly drying herself, she dressed without fuss and listened to the sound of Jane on the other side of the curtain – the only thing separating them and yet, she felt like he was miles away. Closer than the last several days but still not close enough to be comfortable.

The saddening in her chest is what made her decide to forgo drying her hair and settle on a messy wet ponytail. She knew her bangs would dry with a twist in them but wasn't concerned, she took no extra time in the bathroom except for teeth brushing – everything else was skipped so she could get out of there faster.

It didn't really help though when the only thing she could do was wait for him to finish and bask in the silence. Gathering the laundry from behind the bedroom door in a basket, she busied herself with the mundane task of carrying it to the washing machine. It kept her occupied and so did sorting the darks from the whites and colors.

Pulling one of Jane's shirts from the tangled pile of cloth, she caught a flash of bright color marring the light blue and cautiously pulled at the collar to reveal a smear of something reddish in color. Unwilling to process the information her eyes were feeding her brain, she stood there for a moment until a tear trailed her cheek.

He said he wasn't; she had to believe that but then why did it feel as though someone had punched her in the gut? Fingers tightening around the fabric, she decided to confront him about the rosy stain and this time she wouldn't let him walk away. She was going to find out where he kept running off to and she could only hope that he had a good explanation.

It took her longer than necessary but she found herself walking into the bathroom clutching his shirt tightly to her chest to see him standing at the sink with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. He glanced at her, back to the mirror, and then right back at her once he saw that she had tear tracks on her cheeks.

"What's the matter?"

"I-I thought you said you weren't...I..." Unable to think – let alone speak – coherently, she held up the shirt and shook her head in disbelief. She wanted to hear him explain because she refused to believe that he'd do something like that to her and it was really too cliché in her opinion. The tears were from feeling too overwhelmed and sick of being left in the dark.

"Oh Sweetheart, don't tell me you're really contemplating this. You know I'd never hurt you like that, you know it."

"I do know...I just want answers Patrick." Sniffling rather embarrassingly, Lisbon tossed the piece of clothing onto the counter and crossed her arms. "I'm so sick of this. I don't want to do this today."

"Teresa, that's not lipstick. Its paint, touch it." Silence settled for a moment and then she reached out to run her thumb along the smear. It was rough, textured and definitely felt like dried paint.

"Doesn't even matter."

"Doesn't it?"

"No, I know you aren't messing around, I'm just trying to figure out what you are doing and these stupid hormones are driving me mad..." Wiping her cheeks, she tried to think of why he'd have paint on the collar of his good shirt.

"We need to get going or we'll be late." She knew that was the end of the conversation for the time being and she was too tired to fight him on it. He was right, they'd be late and she didn't want that. It briefly registered in her mind that neither of them wanted a battle and that she'd never managed breakfast as they headed out to the car.

* * *

It sounded like a horse galloping. That was the first thought that entered Lisbon's head when the sound of her baby's heartbeat filled the air and Jane gripped her hand a little tighter. The doubts she'd had fled momentarily as she watched the gray scale screen next to her. It was surreal to see how much their little Gummy Bear had grown and she'd blame the hormones till the day she died but a huge goofy smile took over her face at the sight.

The little being didn't look much like a gummy bear anymore but she had no plans to change the nickname and when she chanced a glance at the man beside her, she saw that he had a grin to match her own. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she almost lost all control of her emotions.

"Strong heartbeat, sounds healthy." Lisbon wasn't even aware that anything had been said until Jane stroked her hair and asked the one question they both wanted an answer to. "You getting shot, didn't hinder this little one at all."

"Can you see if it's a boy or a girl?" The female doing the ultrasound chuckled and bobbed her head.

"As long as the baby decides to cooperate. Seems like Daddy's impatient."

"You have no idea." Lisbon's mutter was heard by both people in the room and Jane affectionately stroked her hair. Everyone knew she was just as impatient when it came down to it but Dr. Johnson just clicked her tongue a few times and then smiled brightly.

"It looks as though you'll be having a little girl."

"A girl?" Unaware that it was even her voice, Lisbon asked with a slight tremor and wave of fear. It was probably horribly wrong of her to feel such things but her body was just reacting and she couldn't help it. She loved her baby and she had let herself daydream of a little girl but she was terrified of how her husband would handle the news.

"A girl. Your results from the Quad Marker Screen came back, nothing suspicious and I can't see anything on here worth worrying over, everything looks good on that front." A few pictures were printed, Lisbon's stomach was wiped clean and her shirt was placed back over their daughter. A girl, she couldn't believe there was a little girl growing inside of her. "There is one thing I'm going to point out; your blood pressure was a bit higher than I'd like but as of right now I'm not concerned."

"I don't understand." Out of fear of something being terribly wrong despite the doctor's smooth tone, Lisbon gripped Jane's hand as if he could somehow make things better.

"Your blood pressure has been great up to this point. It could be anything that caused the spike – nervousness over the appointment, lack of sleep, certain foods, recovering from being shot but I am going to ask that you come back next week. The nurse will take it again and if it's still considered high then we'll talk. Have you made any changes in your diet or experienced insomnia by chance?"

"It's been a bit of a stressful week..."

"That'll do it. I'm sure it's nothing but as a precaution I think you should come back in a few days for a follow-up." Unable to do anything more than nod, Lisbon let the full force of the situation hit. Something could be wrong and though she'd known from the beginning that it was a possibility due to her age, she'd never actually considered how she'd feel if a problem occurred.

Feeling almost as if on autopilot, she didn't even say goodbye to the doctor. Jane did it for her and she only moved when she felt his hand pressing against her lower back. With photos in hand, she let him lead her out of the room and out of the building. She hadn't even spoken when he'd set her up another appointment for the end of the next week.

It was a girl, a sweet little girl and yet she was worrying over if Jane was now mad at her. She didn't know if she could handle him being angry with her when there was a heaviness in her body already due to the news that her blood pressure had been too high. Out of all things, she'd never given much thought to that.

Once inside the car, settled into the passenger seat, she let her lips move and a whisper ride out.

"I hurt you when I said I wanted a boy so it'd be easier and we just found out that Bear's a girl – are you mad at me?"

"I don't know if 'mad' is the right word. I don't really know what I'm feeling." Biting her lip, she kept her gaze turned downward and slowly nodded. "I'm happy but also a bit upset. It's honestly sweet of you to worry so much about me but I need you to trust me and now I feel like no matter how many times I tell you, you're still going to think that I can't handle it."

"I do trust you – you know that – but do you trust me?"

"Of course." With a shake of her head, she reached for the seat-belt and fastened it with a click. Jane followed suit. "Why would you question that?"

"You won't tell me where you go when you leave for hours at a time."

"Not this again."

"If you'd just tell me, it wouldn't be a big deal." The tension in the vehicle almost made it hard to breathe, the thickness of it was unbelievable and made it quite obvious that Jane didn't want to divulge any information. She knew it wasn't fair to him that the only reason she pushed for an answer was simply so she didn't have to continue talking about her own screwup. "I know that Cho, Van Pelt and even Rigsby all know something that I don't...I know that -"

"Alright already!" Startled by the sharp edge to his voice, Lisbon jumped in her seat and grew quiet while simultaneously gripping the ultra-sound photos of her daughter. "If it's bothering you that much then I'll show you."

She didn't ask anymore questions. He didn't offer anymore answers but both of them were silently pondering if things could get any worse and awkward between them. Neither really wanted to find out and that was why Jane had started in the direction of the house he'd purchased. It was only a half hour away from their location but by the first stop light, he'd started feeling bad for the way he'd been treating Lisbon all day long.

He'd been there for her but he hadn't been the supportive husband and all because of a stupid argument that had festered to the point of bleeding into every conversation they attempted to have. It was a poison in their marriage and he knew he had to remedy it. That's why he decided he might as well take her to their 'new' home. It could help out with her stress levels which could lower her blood pressure and if it was that easy then he'd do it just so she wouldn't spend the next several days worrying over what the doctor had said.

He knew the risks involved with high blood pressure and he knew that as soon as they got home, she'd be on the Internet researching anything and everything involving pregnancy and blood pressure issues. She'd already spent countless hours on Web MD reading over what to expect week by week for each trimester. The woman was definitely into being prepared and knowing what changes her body was undergoing. He couldn't fault her for that and it was actually rather adorable to him that she was getting so into it but he wasn't sure how she was feeling at this point and it worried him.

She was scared – it showed on her facial features, in her breathing pattern, and even the way she was sitting. He'd distinguished it all from a few glances as he rounded the last corner to get to 'their' house and he had no idea if she was scared because of the doctor's visit or not knowing what he was going to show her. The private road to the almost country looking home was a bit lengthy and away from the rest of civilization but she hadn't complained. She hadn't said anything at all.

He knew he was the cause of her stress and he hated the thought of that causing potential harm to their baby – their daughter. It was still hard to believe they were having a girl and if he was completely honest, he had felt a little pang in his chest at hearing that he'd be a father to another precious little girl. What a mess they'd made of things. He was trying to fix it, he had to show her that he could do this. He had to prove that he could be a good dad to his child despite the fact that she'd be his second and only living daughter. When he pulled into the driveway and killed the engine, he knew he'd confused the poor woman next to him.

"We're here." She looked out the window at the modest two story home with a frown. He knew what she was thinking.

"You know who lives here?"

"Uh, yeah, you could say that. What do you think of the house?" He was hoping she saw the same things he did. The lovely shade of pale blue he'd painted it a few weeks ago really accented the large windows and he could see that her eyes had been drawn to the balcony off the master bedroom. He'd bought the home for a rather low price because of the work it'd needed but the wrap around porch and somewhat private location had been the selling points.

"The house? It's pretty, I guess but what does that have to do with -"

"It's ours." Fishing the keys out of his pocket, he held them up just as she whipped around to face him.

"What? You bought us a house?"

"I thought we could -"

"Without even talking to me first?" He'd prepared himself for a slightly rocky reaction but he hadn't prepared himself for the hurt in her voice or the storm brewing in her gaze. "Did you even think to ask if I want to move?"

"Well it's still -"

"You're actually doing this now – of all times – now? It wasn't enough to deal with vow renewal ceremonies, my brothers, fighting with you, worrying about my baby, and now my blood pressure; you're really throwing this on the pile too?"

"Teresa, just take a breath okay? Calm down." While on the subject of her blood pressure, he really didn't want it to rise any and if she got angry then all bets were off.

"Take me home."

"You don't even want to look around? C'mon Sweetheart, I know you'll love it." An ache settled in his chest when she shied away from his touch. Any progress they'd made diminished with the way she moved her leg away from his stroking fingers and it became quite clear to him that he'd dug himself into an even deeper hole.

"No, I want to go home."

"Please just take a look." The nursery was the only thing he _needed _her to see. He wanted to share it with her and show her that he was putting his all into building a completely new life with her but she wouldn't give him the chance. She shook her head solemnly, unbuckled her seat-belt and opened the door. He was confused at first since she'd said no but then once she stepped out and headed away from the house he realized what she was doing and jumped out after her. "Teresa!"

"I'm going home. You can stay here if you like it so much."

"You're five months pregnant, I am not letting you walk all the way back to the apartment."

"I'll catch a cab." Reaching for her elbow, he wondered why she had to be so incredibly stubborn when he was simply making a grand gesture of affection. "Let go!"

"No. You're not walking back down this road to catch a cab. Just get back in the car and I'll take you home. Please, this can't be good for Bear." She turned back to face him, eyes misty and ponytail swinging. Always so beautiful, vivacious, even when angry with him. A few long seconds ticked by with the two of them standing in the driveway just staring at each other before Lisbon finally jerked her arm away and took quick steps back to the passenger side of the car.

Tugging open the door, she willed herself to try and calm down for the sake of the child tucked inside her womb. Stress wasn't good for the baby and with a deep breath, she got back in the car and waited. She just wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and take a nap. She couldn't believe he'd bought a house – an actual house with a yard and everything – without even discussing it with her first. He'd never mentioned them one day owning a home or that he even hoped to one day own a house with her. It was a huge step that had pros and cons; it was something they were supposed to talk about together.

Things were silent for the first few minutes as she watched the house fade behind them. It was a nice house – the porch looked like it could use a little work – but she just couldn't get over the fact that he'd kept it a secret and never even discussed it with her. She was his wife. They were supposed to make big decisions like that together. She didn't want to deal with this now; she never should have pushed him into coming clean about where he'd been going – at least not until after she figured out if her healthy pregnancy was about to go downhill.

"I thought you'd at least take a look around."

"Patrick, don't. With everything else happening right now just please don't start this."

"I'm not trying to start anything. I just wanted you to look inside and I'm hoping that in a few days, we can come back and you'll at least give it a chance. I know you Teresa, better than anyone and I know you'll love that house." That was partly what bothered her. He always just assumed things because he knew – or thought he knew – how she'd react and she hated it. She wanted him to ask her, not just _know_ all the time.

She said nothing more for the duration of the drive, just turned to watch the scenery pass by the window and let her thoughts drift to random topics in hopes to forget about her worries. She thought of calling Tyler after eating something, they'd been conversing via telephone at least once a week since the vow renewal three weeks ago. Things were slowly getting less tense between them, enough to have her telling him different things she liked to do and such. Anything to take her mind off the fact that her chest was tight with emotion or that she felt hurt.

* * *

Page after page, Lisbon flipped through baby names whilst curled up on her side of the bed. With the door closed and soft music flowing from the speakers of her sound system, she read through the lists in hopes to find something she liked. She hadn't moved much, it was her lazy day, and she didn't really want to be in the same room with Jane unless absolutely necessary. Well, at least she hadn't until just minutes ago when he'd knocked on the door and greeted her softly from the other side.

He didn't try the doorknob and she almost laughed once realizing he thought she'd locked him out but she didn't. She'd been listening to him talk for about two and a half minutes, the girl names in front of her eyes blurring together and the music became nothing more than background noise to the sound of his voice.

"...I know you're mad at me..." She didn't correct him, "but it was your wedding present..."

Trying to focus on the page of names starting with 'B', she let him continue talking despite that his words were muffled by the solidity of the door.

"I know you're not asleep." She was sick of his 'I knows'. Why couldn't he just ask things? "I'm not mad at you for wanting a boy to make things easier on me. It doesn't matter to me as long as both you and the baby are healthy but yes, Teresa, I'm bothered by the fact that you're upset when I know that in your heart you love the thought of having a little girl and you love this baby more than anything."

Couldn't he just leave it alone for the day? Lisbon really wanted to relax and pretend that she wasn't insanely freaked out over the fact that something had been off at her doctor's visit. It was the whole reason she didn't want to deal with the drama caused by Jane buying a house and why she was completely avoiding the subject. Everything since the beginning of their marriage – including the actual union – had happened so quickly and now there was a baby coming and she just couldn't deal with thoughts of a house too. It was too much.

"Teresa..." Apparently he couldn't leave it be and with a shaky breath, she gave into her desires to have him near by. As dumb as it seemed, she wanted someone to tell her that everything would be okay. It didn't matter that she wouldn't believe them; she just needed to hear it.

"Door's not locked." Her words were cracked but she didn't try to say it again, she just slowly sat up and waited for the creak of the hinges. It came swiftly, so did his steps and with the book of names still in hand, she watched him cautiously enter.

"You never shut the door so I just figured it was locked."

"No."

"I'll admit that I didn't have the best timing but you kept asking and I couldn't keep lying to you. It was tearing us apart." Closing her eyes, she waited for him to get quiet and then slowly opened them again.

"I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to even mention the house or anything pertaining to it." When it looked as though he wanted to interrupt, she shushed him and made her stance clear. "Everything happened so quickly and no, I don't regret it despite what you might think from the way I've acted but Jane we were married, then we kissed for the first time, then had sex, now there's a baby on the way and this was all in less than a year. I can't handle anything else right now."

"I did it for us, for Bear."

"I know you did but I'm upset that you did it without ever discussing it with me. For now I'm happy living right here, so please can we just forget about the house? I'm worried enough about..." Unable to get the words out, she caressed her swollen stomach and dropped the book on the mattress. "What if something is actually wrong?"

"Don't think like that. Everything is fine. You heard Doc, it's just a precaution. Our behavior towards one another probably had a lot to do with it and you were nervous. You need to relax, okay, for Bear."

"We've been distant, both of us, and I know we're fighting but until we find out if this is something or nothing at all can we pretend we're not?" It was as close to asking him to hold her as she'd ever come and probably as close as she'd ever get. He didn't say anything but the look in his eyes softened and within seconds he was seated next to her and wrapping his arms around her to pull her close. It felt as though it'd been months since they'd touched in such a way, though Lisbon knew it'd only been a week.

Burying her nose in his neck, she shifted around until she was straddling him for comfort and tried to get impossibly closer. His hands stroked over her back and she let out a sigh against his skin. This wasn't them apologizing to each other or forgiving; it was just them seeking reassurance but for that single moment in time, it was all they needed.

"I'm scared, Patrick." With her knees on either side of his hips, his arms hugging her to his chest and their baby girl nestled between them, Lisbon felt safer and more secure than she had in days. It was almost as if nothing had happened – almost but not quite.

"I know, I am too but I believe that Bear's okay. Everything will be okay – everything." It was in his voice and in the way he squeezed her gently that he wasn't only talking about the baby but she wasn't so sure she believed him. They really needed to sit down and talk things out but she just wasn't ready for that.

**a/n: That's it for this chapter. So, I seriously contemplated making them have a boy this time (a lot of people tend to make them have a girl) but then I realized that Lisbon hardly ever gets what she wants in this story and that she's always giving up something for Jane so I thought I'd let her have a girl. Plus it provides opportunity for some juicy twists. But mainly I just felt that Lisbon deserved something that we all know she really wants.**

**Also, I'm totally writing this based on my sister's pregnancy (she was high risk due to blood pressure but don't worry I have no plans of making things horribly difficult for Lisbon) but I'm not going to get into technical little details although I actually could since I know a lot about it. I figure medical terminology and practices would bore the readers as well as me so yeah, not going there. **

**Updates will most likely start coming on just weekends since my classes started last Monday but I don't know yet. It'll depend on my schedule, study time, and personal plans. I'll keep you informed though and of course.**

**Thanks to my anonymous reviewers for always being so nice and helpful: kaykay, kat, Anna, Sissy, shayla, patrick, Alejandra, Lurker, MK**

**To RisingStar13: Thank you so much for the kind words!**

**Next: _"You knew that Jane bought a house, didn't you?" Lisbon already knew the answer to her question but she wanted to hear Van Pelt admit it._**

"_**Yes, he asked for my input and help on some things. Are you really mad at him for it?"**_


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: Well guys, I'm going to owe my parents and the government so much money after college that it's ridiculous. This means that I own nothing.**

**A/N: Just a funny little random college moment: There was a guy driving a bathtub around campus. Yes, you read that correctly. The "tub" was welded to a metal frame with tires and had an engine on the back of it. Did I mention the faucet was still attached? I kinda wish I would have had my camera for that one. For now, that is holding the record for the most awesome thing I've seen during my college experience. And yep, another long chapter, this is what happens when I don't update for over a week.**

The room was beginning to lighten just enough for Jane to make out the spatter of freckles across his wife's nose and cheeks but the sun probably wouldn't make its grand debut for another half hour. He loved this time of the morning but he hated that his marriage was completely mucked up. It was the reason he'd been up most of the night just watching as Lisbon slept heavily. The deep relaxed breaths she took in would generally put him at ease but it did nothing more than make him realize how far away she was.

He could always tell when she was genuinely upset because she wouldn't even gravitate towards him in sleep. Her body stayed on 'her' side of the bed and never rolled. She just continued to lie there, facing him but not touching. It was something he'd grown used to over the last couple weeks but he wanted it to stop. He wanted to touch her, kiss each freckle, from the ones on her nose to those on her shoulders and to the ones spattered on her thighs.

He'd been patient with her, thinking she just needed a little time to figure things out but she was taking too long. His patience was wearing thin and the only reason he'd given her so much time to start with was the expanding of her stomach. His daughter. He couldn't quite wrap his head around it since every time he thought of the word 'daughter' he pictured a child he'd created with a different woman. He just couldn't seem to think of the baby as a girl and his at the same time. Hopefully that would change or he'd be proving Lisbon right and he desperately wanted to prove her wrong. He could handle another little girl; he could handle a baby. He could.

Eyes roaming down to the swell that was partially hidden by the blanket, he felt his fingers itch with desire. Jane was the type of man to act without thinking and that was what had gotten him into his current predicament so he wasn't about to just reach out and pull her close. He wanted to badly but he settled for shifting a little closer to her when she rolled to her back. It was amazing to see how much their baby had grown in the last five months. Their baby, their little girl was making her mother's belly round and he thought it was beautiful.

There had been no real contact between him and Lisbon for the better part of two weeks and all he wanted to do was forget all about the stupid fight. It wasn't important and things had just spiraled out of control. He knew she'd been worried, terrified at the thought of something being wrong with the baby but the follow-up showed everything as normal. Her blood pressure had been fine and he'd seen her smile for the first time in days. That was two days ago and still things weren't better. He knew he'd startled her with the house but he hadn't meant to. Honestly, he'd been hoping that she'd at least give it a chance but she hadn't mentioned it since the day he took her to see it and he hadn't pushed the topic. He was going to try today, cautiously though since he had no desire of making things worse between them. They were expecting a baby, they were supposed to be enjoying it and with a quick move of his hand, he decided that he was going to.

She didn't move or wake when he pulled the blankets back to rest on her thighs or when he shifted around to lie directly next to her. A murmur fell from her lips when he placed his hand over the swell of her abdomen but she slept on and he knew she was exhausted. It was his fault too which made his heart sink in his chest. All the emotional weight between them was too heavy for her while pregnant and he knew he'd made it worse with the house. Unintentionally, he'd hurt her by keeping it a secret when he'd thought he was doing something good. He thought she'd love it and it'd actually startled him when he realized that he'd read her wrong. He was so sure she'd like the surprise – she had liked the pony he got her for her birthday a few years back but then again, he supposed a house was a bit different.

He was the reason for everything going sour, sure she played a part but it was mainly his doing and secrecy that led them to this point. He'd been at fault for her blood pressure, the risk to their unborn child and it killed him to know that but it helped that she hadn't come right out and blamed him for it. Rather easily, he came to the conclusion that she didn't blame him and that made it a little better. Everything with the baby was fine, just as he'd promised her and with his hand sneaking underneath her shirt to feel the warmth of her expanding skin, he let a small smile tug at his lips.

It was surreal to think there was a baby growing stronger everyday nestled inside Lisbon – Teresa – his wife. He felt a lot of the same things he'd felt with his first child. Excited, scared, and overwhelmed. If he was feeling such a wide range of emotion then he knew that she was absolutely terrified of the idea. He'd give her props for not showing it but he knew before the day was over, he wanted to sit down and talk it out with her. He wanted her to feel more comfortable.

Pushing her shirt out of the way, he stared down at her bare stomach and caressed the bump lovingly. It was still sinking in. There was a baby, it was a girl and he was going to be a father again.

He heard Lisbon sigh, knew that he was waking her up but didn't stop stroking over her rounded skin. Leaning down in a bold move, he placed a kiss just beneath her navel and she stirred a little. He did it again, and left his mouth close by as he moved to straddle her thighs. It was the most intimate position they'd been in, in almost three weeks and he felt his body react despite the innocence of his motive.

Another press of his lips to the area his baby resided and he felt Lisbon move beneath him. He didn't look to see if she was awake but he had a feeling that she was getting awfully close.

"Hey little one, I know Mommy and Daddy have been fighting lately but I promise you that it has nothing to do with you. We both love you very much – I love you and I can't wait to hold you. I bet you'll be just as beautiful as your Mommy and -"

"Patrick," Interrupted by a watery voice, he looked up to see Lisbon staring down at him. Her green eyes were shimmering and he prayed their little girl had those same eyes. Round, pretty, and a color that wasn't really the definition of green.

"I didn't mean to wake you; I just wanted to talk to Bear." Remembering his position, he muttered an apology and moved to get off of her but she stopped him by grasping his bicep.

"She's yours too, you can talk all you want."

"Teresa, I think we're the ones who need to talk." Fear flashed in her gaze and he knew she didn't think was ready for the conversation but it didn't matter. They needed to get back on even ground instead of residing together in silent tense politeness. "We can't spend your entire pregnancy doing this. If you want to scream and yell then we can do that but we need to get this worked out. I miss my impish Reeses."

He'd hoped the honest, albeit cheesy, statement would at least cause her lips to quirk upwards and when he saw them twitch, he knew they were on the right track.

"She misses you too." He could tell by the way she swallowed that a lump was forming in her throat but he didn't want any tears. There'd been enough of those and enough anger. "A house is a big step Patrick, I'm just not sure I want to take it yet but I'm sorry for getting so upset."

"No, no it's fine. Forget about the house for now, I don't care." It was a lie, he did care but if it helped mend things then he'd let her do things at her pace. He couldn't force her into something – although technically he'd pretty much been doing just that since the moment he asked her to marry him. "I'm just sick of the distance."

"Me too." Her whispered words were enough to have him leaning down to rest his forehead against hers and cup her cheeks in his palms. Lips met seconds after, soft and testing. When she made no move to push him away, he furthered the caress with a sweep of his tongue and almost lost himself completely when she parted her lips to let him in. By some unknown force, he remembered that he had something important to say but it still took him a few minutes to convince himself he had to release her mouth to talk.

He'd missed her kisses. He'd missed her grasping fingers. He'd missed how she always tried to follow his lips when he pulled away. In general, he'd just missed everything and he didn't want to continue doing things the way they were.

She protested when he broke their kiss, tried to pull him back and he almost let her. It would have been easy to let himself be consumed by her touch. It would have been easy to strip her out of her clothes and hold her captive in the bed until they'd exhausted some of their issues but he knew the only way to ease her worries as well as his own was to talk.

"I don't want to fight anymore. If you don't want to talk about the house then that's fine but I'm tired of doing this. I want you to enjoy these months leading up to Bear's arrival and that's not gonna happen if we don't fix this."

"Can we both just agree that everything got blown way out of proportion and forget about it?" If it wasn't for the honesty in her voice, he'd swear she was trying to just avoid the topic yet again but he could tell that she was serious. She didn't want to fight anymore either. "I'm not even mad at you."

"I'm not mad at you either." They were both thinking the same thing in that moment. If neither were mad, then why on earth had they let things go on the way they were? "I understand that this isn't the best time but you have to know that I'm trying to do what's best for us and the baby."

"I know that Patrick, but you have to understand that I'm still getting the hang of this. I mean other couples have time to settle into something comfortable, a routine, before they move in together or get married. We didn't have that."

"We've been married almost nine months m'dear but I understand and I'm not mad at you for the way you reacted. I kinda expected it." Catching the smirk that appeared on her lips, Jane watched carefully as it blossomed.

"Just kinda? You must be losing your touch."

"There's my impish Reeses." The slightly playful glimmer that was slowly coming back in her eyes warmed his heart and sealed the deal for him. In his book, their fight was over and resolved but he knew it wasn't _quite _that simple. It'd take a little while before things would return to complete normal and ease.

Distracting them both, he met her lips softly with his own and stroked a hand over her stomach. It was easy to get lost in the feel of her mouth moving sensually against his, especially considering the last few weeks. She felt so warm, so responsive beneath him and when a moan tore from her throat, he let himself indulge. There were still a few free minutes before the alarm would blare and ruin it all.

* * *

Lunch was something that Lisbon found herself enjoying more and more the further along she got. It'd become almost ritual for her to order something and most of the time, the team ate together out in the bullpen but occasionally - depending on work - it was strictly her and Grace, sitting in her office and sharing a meal. She found herself actually liking the company and for some reason she'd struck up a relationship bordering on friendship with the red head. But on this day, her motives for the office lunch weren't quite so pure.

"You knew that Jane bought a house, didn't you?" Lisbon already knew the answer to her question but she wanted to hear Van Pelt admit it.

"Yes, he asked for my input and help on some things. Are you really mad at him for it?" Truth be told, she had no clue as to whether or not she was actually still angry over the house. She wasn't sure she'd ever been 'angry'.

The gesture – the more she thought about it – was _almost _sweet. It was something that she knew he'd done to show his love but she wanted him to know that she didn't need big statements or material items. She was happy with the way things were; she was happy with it being just the two, well three if she counted their unborn baby, of them in her apartment. There was nothing wrong with it but she had been thinking a lot over the course of days she spent politely existing with her husband that perhaps a house would be nice eventually. She just didn't know if she wanted to take such a step just yet.

As a single woman, she'd never given it much thought. She hadn't wanted a house because it would have been wasted space and just too much for her but now she could see that the idea had potential.

"Boss?" Glancing back at her guest, she realized she hadn't answered the question yet.

"I'm not mad at him. I just don't know why he chose to keep it a secret or why he didn't at least talk to me about it first."

"Maybe you should take a drive, visit the house and look around for a bit. It might help answer a few of those questions." Considering the option, Lisbon decided it couldn't possibly hurt anything and if it helped her fully understand Jane's motives then she was all for it. She wanted to officially call a truce and it started by at least giving the house he'd bought a once over.

"He didn't give me a key or I would."

"Oh, here," It took a moment for Van Pelt to produce a small silver key from her pocket but once she did, she was handing it over. "Take mine. It's just a spare that Jane gave me so I didn't have to knock when I stopped by to help with something but most of the work is done now so I don't need it or I can take you if you'd rather we do it that way."

"That's alright, I'll drive myself. I just want to take a quick look and then head home."

"It really is a beautiful house and you should give it a chance; he put a lot into it."

"By painting?" The disbelief was made clear by the scoff and she expected a laugh of some sort in agreement but was met by a furrowed brow instead.

"Oh, you don't know do you?"

"Don't know what?"

"Jane bought it for a discounted price because it needed work and he's been fixing it up little by little. He remodeled most of it with Cho and Rigsby's help. I thought you knew." Shaking her head, Lisbon dropped her gaze to her hands and let the words sink in. She'd thought he just bought them a house willy nilly but now she was learning that he'd actually thought about it, fixed it up, and she'd walked away as if it wasn't important, as if it meant nothing. She felt – well, she felt like a bitch all of a sudden. Why hadn't he told her how much of himself he'd invested into the house when she'd blown up at him?

Now she felt as though she owed it to him to at least go look around. She'd see if he was right about _'knowing she'd love it'_ and then decide if it was time to talk. They'd come to an agreement earlier in the day but even with the lengthy kisses that would have easily led to more, had it not been for the alarm, couldn't make the weighted feeling in her chest go away. She still felt like something was between them and she knew the house was what made her feel that way.

Her curiosity got the best of her and she left a little early without so much as tossing an excuse to her baffled looking husband and team. She'd talk to Jane when she got home. Thankfully, she'd paid enough attention on her first trip to the home to know where it was without getting lost and when she parked her car, she took a deep breath and recalled that trip. A fight had followed and added to the tension that had already been festering between them and she was really hoping that he would see this – her going inside – as a step forward.

"Okay Bear, let's go look at this house and see if we like it. Daddy bought it for us so we might move in soon, definitely before you get here, if I can get over my foolish pride." Easing herself out of the vehicle, she silently asked for a kick from the baby but no such luck. Over the last several days, she had this want, this need to feel the first kick and she knew it was because of the lack of contact she'd been getting from Jane.

Being pregnant was her coping mechanism and she was starting to actually accept and enjoy it. A little over five months into it and she was becoming comfortable with her baby. There was no doubt she was terrified of becoming a mother but she could already feel an intense crippling emotion in her chest each time she even thought of Bear "Rose" Jane and she knew it could only be described as that impossible love that parents are supposed to have for their children. She definitely loved her baby and she loved Jane or she wouldn't be standing on the steps of a house he'd bought with the intent to 'tour' the place and then decide if it would be their new home.

With steady steps she made it up to the door, glanced around the porch and then stuck the key in the lock and twisted the knob. She liked the outside but she hadn't known what to expect until the door opened with a slight creak and she was greeted with the smell of sawdust and recently dried paint. Hardwood floors were beneath her feet when she stepped inside and a grand staircase filled her line of sight. It was beautiful, unbelievably so and she immediately fell in love with it. Jane was right, she loved it so far and a nagging in the back of her mind told her she'd love the rest of the house too.

She went room by room, starting with the downstairs kitchen, gasping at the marble countertops and extra space, moving on to the living room which was painted a warm color that reminded her of family. It took her all of one second to decide it would be a good environment for her child, very loving, and when she finally made her way up the stairs, she took the time to admire them by running a hand along the banister. It was incredibly smooth and so polished that she could see herself in the shine. She really liked the stairs for some reason.

The moment she opened the first door on the left of the hallway, she decided the master bedroom was somewhere she could see herself spending a lot of time. The ensuite bathroom with a garden tub held promise and there was a balcony. She'd always wanted to be able to sit out on a balcony and not have to worry about anyone else interrupting her morning or evening. Oh yeah, her husband had positively been correct in his assumption that she'd love it and a part of her hated that he was right. She could practically see what it'd look it once furniture was put in place and clothes were haphazardly thrown about.

Lisbon hadn't known that Jane had fixed the place up, she'd just thought he'd bought it and painted the rooms but this made things different. He'd actually poured a lot of heart into the place, she could tell and when she moved to the other door on the left, she found it to be painted a basic white with no real character added. Just a basic room and it's what she expected from the rest. It wasn't until she'd moved on to the righthand side and opened the first door that she let a gasp fly from her lips and a strangled sob bubble up from her lungs. A mix of colors invaded her vision and started to blur when tears pooled in her eyes and her hand clasped over her mouth. It was nothing special to be greeted by green, blue and white but when those colors made the walls look as though they were outside with blue skies and green grass as well as some trees, all she could do was stand there and be overwhelmed.

As if the blue and white cloud covered ceiling and meadow looking walls hadn't been enough to grab her attention, the crib in the corner would have and did. It was darkwood - the one she'd been wanting to get and the matching changing table was set up against the opposite wall. The rocking chair, filled with stuffed animals, by the window made the wetness in her eyes spill over. She'd been horrible. She shouldn't have waited so long to give it a chance. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she wiped her cheeks and very slowly made her way to stand in the very center of the room. So this was why he'd put off buying any baby furniture. She'd thought he was just avoiding it and it'd even made her angry that he seemed so uninterested. It all made sense.

"What do ya say Bear, are we home? I think we might be." Deciding it was time, Lisbon stroked her stomach with one hand while she fished her phone out of her pocket and dialed Jane's number with the other. It wasn't hard. He was on speed dial and within seconds she heard it ring. Waiting seemed to take forever but when his voice came through, she almost lost it completely. He'd done everything and never even tried to force her into looking around the house. It might have been weird that she just up and married Jane but she realized that it was probably the best impulsive decision she'd ever made. "P-patrick?"

_"Teresa, honey what's wrong? Is it Bear? Are you both okay? Where are you?"_ The flooding of questions brought a smile to her lips and she sniffled in an attempt to calm down enough to tell him that she was fine.

"M'fine. You need to come home." Watery yet strong, she made her point and waited to hear what he'd say.

_"I am home, you're not. Are you o..-"_

"No, the house, Patrick. You need to come home." There was a pause, big enough for her to wipe her eyes and swallow roughly. "Please."

_"I'll be there in ten minutes." _She wanted to protest, tell him that it was a forty minute drive from her apartment and he couldn't make it in just ten minutes unless he ignored every single traffic law in between but didn't get the chance, he was rambling before she could catch her breath. _"I'm on my way now, just sit tight."_

Lisbon didn't get the chance to tell him anything before she heard the sound of the call being disconnected. He'd actually sounded worried and she'd wanted to tell him that everything was fine. It was better than fine, she just wanted him to be with her. She wanted to thank him for the house, show him that she knew she'd made a mistake by blowing up at him and refusing to even consider the possibility that she'd love the place. All because she was scared. In just a few months, it'd be their one year anniversary but she was still scared of change and uprooting from her apartment to move into an actual house out of town with a yard and space just terrified her. It was more terrifying to her than being pregnant. It scared her more than the daughter growing consistently in her womb, more than marrying a man she'd never had a relationship with, more than a three day engagement, more than the lifelong commitment she'd made to him. For some reason, a house seemed bigger than all of those things. It was a place to live, to own and a start to a new beginning. Maybe he didn't see it that way but she did and then he'd just sprung it on her which only served to drive a wedge between them.

Standing in the middle of a nursery themed in outdoors and animals, she knew it was time to patch things up for good. The only reason they were still cautious around each other was because of the things they hadn't talked about. They hadn't discussed what to do with the house or if she'd even consider taking a look at it and that was why things were better between them but not quite great. Misunderstandings always led to the worst of fallouts and that's what had been going on for weeks. He didn't understand why she was angry when he saw it as something good and she didn't understand why he didn't understand.

It was a mess, a tangled, jumbled mess and in her attempt to fix it, she'd found out that he was a lot more invested in their child than she'd originally thought. It was wrong of her but she'd honestly just assumed that he was no longer thrilled at the idea of having a baby. He didn't touch her as often, he hadn't tried talking to their daughter, and every time she mentioned going shopping for nursery furniture he'd changed the subject quickly. It had hurt to think something like that but she never faulted him for it; she'd just figured that after he had time to really let it sink in, he was just having a hard time adjusting to the revelation that their baby was a girl. Bear was a girl but now she knew he'd only been avoiding it because he'd already set it all up.

Truthfully she was too busy running her hand over the crib and along the painted walls to know how much time had passed but eventually she got tired of standing and made her way to the rocking chair. It was an actual rocking chair, not a glider and she hadn't been able to find one anywhere. She'd mentioned it in passing one night just after they'd learned that she was pregnant and apparently he'd remembered that she said she wanted an actual rocking chair in the nursery.

Picking up the teddy bear and moving the rest of the plush animals to the floor, she took their place and tucked the bear in the crook of her arm. A twinge in her chest made it clear that she was a little upset that she missed out on helping with the nursery but everything she'd been suggesting over the last few months was now surrounding her so in a way she felt as though she had helped. It was exactly what she'd wanted, and rocking gently in front of the window, she let herself give in to the emotion threatening to overtake her. She was happy and it'd be better when Jane was by her side.

With a deep breath, she found her voice beneath the knot in her throat and lifted her shirt to expose her stomach. She'd grown used to touching, stroking, and patting her belly. She found herself doing it more and more lately since her middle was expanding. It was no longer possible for her to 'forget' she was pregnant and she actually liked it. Although she had no idea how she'd feel when she was nine months but at a little over five, she enjoyed some of the changes her body was undergoing. There were definitely things she disliked as well but her growing belly actually made her feel proud, it made her feel like she was doing something right.

"Well Bear, your room has an amazing view and I really should've listened to Daddy. God, I hate it when he's right but I love him for it too, yeah I know that doesn't make any sense. Then again, you're a baby, not much makes sense does it; I...-" The sound of the door startled her and then a voice called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Teresa?"

"Up here." Her tone was stronger than it'd been on the phone but she knew by the sound of him climbing the stairs that he was worried something was wrong. His steps were rushed, heavy and when she glanced back towards the door to see him standing there, she could see his chest rising and falling faster than normal. "Hey."

"Hey." Nothing was said for a few long minutes, they both just stared at each other and when he crossed into the room she outstretched her hand and waited until he was close enough to tangle their fingers together. "Are you and Bear okay?"

"We're great." It was easy to see she was confusing him when she brought his palm to her lips and pressed a kiss to his skin. "You were right."

"I was?" Nodding, she smiled up at him. A real smile that only grew when he just showed he was even more confused with the furrowing of his brow.

"I love the house. Especially this room." His eyes darted around and it was almost as if he was just noticing exactly which room they were in and where she was sitting. He kneeled in front of her, still gripping her hand in his and she scooted closer to the edge of the rocking chair. Closer to him. "It's better than anything I could've imagined."

"I thought you didn't want the house."

"I never said that I didn't want it eventually, I just didn't know what I wanted right then and I needed some time to think." His hands tugged at hers until they'd both moved into a standing position and she didn't think twice before wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his neck. "I was overwhelmed but this is - Patrick, I can't believe you did all of this."

"I had help - professional help with this room."

"Why didn't you tell me that you'd renovated this place? I just thought you'd bought it and expected me to just move in with no questions asked."

"I'd never expect 'no questions' from you m'dear - you don't have it in you to be so passive but I didn't tell you because I didn't think it mattered." Scoffing and raising her head from it's resting place, she pushed back to stare at him in disbelief.

"It does. It matters. You put your heart into this, I know that now and I walked away as if it meant absolutely nothing - I'm so sorry." The watery tone was back but hands were resting on her cheeks immediately and soft eyes were staring straight into hers.

"Shh, don't get upset. I don't like it when you cry, and you didn't know so you have no reason to be sorry. We both covered how we misunderstood each other this morning, everything's fine." With a small grin returning to her lips, she nodded a little and stepped closer until their bodies were touching.

"I want to live here. I want to have a home _with _you and by 'with' I mean that I'm paying half on everything."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure, I'm not just gonna let you pay for everything."

"No, Teresa, I meant, are you sure you want to move in here? I know it's a big step to go from renting an apartment to owning a home but I thought I'd made it clear by marrying you that I want permanent." Her eyes skirted down the buttons of his shirt to where their stomachs were pressed together, hers sticking out further and it was no longer a question in her mind. She wanted the house.

"I'm sure." The smile he gave reassured her that she made the right choice and unable to hold herself back, she kissed him. Long and full on the lips, mustering every ounce of emotion she could and pouring it out through the use of her teeth and tongue. He didn't seem to mind, after the initial shock of the contact, he slid one hand into her hair and the other gripped her hip. Everything felt different to Lisbon, the kiss, the touch - _he_ felt different to her but in a good way. He felt good. She felt desire rush through her veins and the only thing she could do was give in to the ache starting to settle between her thighs. She wanted him, it'd been so long and she was in desperate need for some attention of the adult variety.

Mouth disconnected for a moment to catch some air and she took the opportunity to make her way towards the door - she wasn't about to have sex in a nursery where their baby would sleep. It just seemed kind of wrong but when he didn't follow, she turned back to look, maybe she'd read the situation incorrectly. Maybe he wasn't as turned on as she was or maybe he just didn't want to have sex with her. The frown that settled on her face when she saw him just standing there, lips full from their kiss, and staring at her, seemed to startle him back into reality.

"Where are you going?"

"If memory serves me correctly, the master bedroom is just across the hall. I thought we could christen it." The look of worry on his face was overtaken with a sly grin and she almost moaned just at the visual but she wanted to maintain the upperhand. He'd said he missed her impish side so she was going to make sure he witnessed the full brunt of it before the night was over. "Well, are you coming or am I gonna have to do it by myself?"

His eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline at the question and she couldn't help but flush a bit at her own words. There was something strangely, unbelievably, arousing about the whole idea of having sex with him in a house with no furniture that just so happened to be their new home. Or perhaps she just wanted him because of how long it'd been since they'd had sexual contact of any kind.

"As tempting as you are Reeses, I want to give you a tour of the house." She almost whimpered. Could he not see just how worked up she'd managed to get herself just by thinking back on their morning and the heated kiss they'd just shared? She wasn't an overly sexual being but she was a woman with needs and she wanted to give in to the idea of 'make up' sex.

"I already looked around."

"Teresa, darling, humor me." Grumbling none too softly, she let him take her hand and lead her out of the dream nursery, back down the stairs. She let her hand run along the banister again, smiling a little this time because it was now 'home'.

"I love the stairs."

"I did a good job then?"

"You did this?" With an open hand she gestured to the polished wood she was standing on and actually smiled when he nodded proudly. "In that case, I should probably tell the movers to be careful when they're carrying the heavy furniture up...they might fall through."

The smug proud look vanished and was replaced with the look of a wounded puppy. It was his fault, he said he missed her impish side, after all, and she had to make up for the time they'd lost by being distant.

"That hurt. I slaved for hours, days, weeks, to make this place perfect for you and this is the thanks I get?"

"Oh come now, Patrick, I'll make it up to you." With a promising wink, she bypassed him and headed straight for the kitchen. If he wanted to give a tour then she wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. She'd already seen almost everything. Everything of importance anyway and she didn't know why he felt the need to show her around but she'd let him have this.

He seemed so excited about it that she couldn't say no so she didn't. She let him point out things about the cabinets and discuss where they'd put the table even though she really didn't care. It made him happy and by the way he'd rest his palm on her stomach occasionally, she knew that his heart was in it. She'd been thinking all this time that it wasn't but now she knew the truth. It was in the way he showed her the living room and mentioned that they could put the couch beneath the large window, it was in the way he just had to show her the back yard and the porch swing where they could sit and watch their daughter play - she chose not to point out that it'd be awhile before the baby would be big enough to run around outside - and it was in the way he tenderly kissed her temple and told her that he had something to show her in the basement.

The word 'basement' caught her attention. She hadn't even noticed that the house had a basement but he quickly pulled her along to a door just off the kitchen and in a haste, he opened it to reveal stairs that led down. Lisbon wanted to ask what on earth could be down there that she needed to see but didn't; she just followed him down and into the space illuminated by a single bulb hanging from the ceiling.

Over in the corner there was something large covered by a blue tarp and he let go of her hand to move towards it. Her heart was going crazy in her chest for some reason and she had no idea what to expect but when he lifted the tarp, she felt as though the breath had been sucked out of her lungs. It was a cradle. She'd wanted one for their bedroom, just for the first few months but she hadn't been able to find one that she really liked.

"I found this at an antique shop, it's pretty beaten up but I thought we might be able to save it. I know it isn't new or even that great looking but..."

"It's perfect." It was. It was beautiful, sure there were some scratches along the surface, deep scratches and the wood was dull and lifeless but it had potential. Some sand paper, wood stain and a little elbow grease and it'd be absolutely perfect.

"I figured you'd be upset about not getting to help much with the house, so I thought we could do this. Just us." Chewing her bottom lip to keep from crying, she gave him a small nod and as soon as he dropped the tarp back into place, she was pushing him up against the cold wall. Despite the rough impact, she kissed him softly, slowly, letting her teeth nip at his lips ever so gently.

He could be so sweet sometimes that she forgot how they'd come to be. It wiped her memory and the only thing she could think of was right there, in that moment. Kissing him, touching him, showing him how much she loved him. He'd managed to make every ounce of hunger rushing through her body take a crash course to settle in her core and he hadn't even been trying. He hadn't done anything to purposefully arouse her but he'd managed just by being sweet. She craved him, a delightful yearning and dampness between her thighs made it impossible to deny. She had to have him before they left their new home and judging by the way he was pulling her as close as possible and trying to gain control of their kiss, he didn't mind one bit.

Breaking away from his lips, she wasted no time with waiting for him to participate and tugged her shirt over her head. It fell away, unneeded and she watched his eyes darken even more as they settled on her rounded stomach. He said nothing, just wrapped an arm around her to tug her to his chest. She could feel him, feel how much he wanted her and she breathed a sigh of relief. Things were okay and the need between them was raw. Reaching around to unsnap her bra, she stalled her movement when he grabbed her wrists. He was taking too long and she whimpered in protest to let him know but he held her still and kept his gaze locked with hers for the longest moment.

"I've got it, Sweetheart." Giving a nod, she let him trace his fingers from the underside of her breasts, back around to the snap that held her bra in place. He teased, letting his thumbs brush over her shoulder blades a few times, toying with the straps and doing nothing to rid her of the cloth. It was torture, she was already in desperate need of him. She had been since they'd kissed in the nursery which had been about an hour ago.

"You're not moving fast enough." Grumbling and tired of playing around, Lisbon tried to step away from him. She was going to take things into her own hands but he held her in place, and before she could protest, his lips were smothering her own. That was more like it. Tongues tangling, she felt the fabric covering her chest slacken and then hands were pulling the scrap down along her arms. The bra joined her shirt, and she clawed at the buttons separating her from his skin. She hated buttons, she hated his shirts although they were comfy to sleep in.

Jane grabbed her desperate fingers, trapping them and ruining her quest to get him undressed. She was about to demand he tell her why he was halting their actions once again but he offered her an amused grin and she knew exactly why he wouldn't let go of her hands.

"Slow down. Let's go upstairs."

"No." Not that long ago, she'd been teasing about christening their bedroom but she didn't even care anymore. She didn't want to take any longer than necessary to be pressed into, moving against him, and if that meant skipping out on taking the time to slow things down and walk back upstairs then so be it. What was the point when she was already bare from the waist up? "Here's fine."

Wiggling enough to free her hands, she made quick work of the buttons holding his shirt in place and pushed the cloth back off of his shoulders. He seemed stunned, but he didn't try to stop her again and she was grateful. She had no idea how he could even think clearly enough if he was half as turned on as she was.

His pants were the next to go but when she was in the middle of pushing them down his hips, his chuckles brought her movements to a standstill as she arched an eyebrow.

"This is our first home and you really want to have sex in the basement?"

"The night is young, I'm sure we'll make it to other rooms as well." She planned to have an entire night to show him that she was sorry for the way she'd acted, the way she'd avoided him and to end all protests, she stretched up to catch his lips in a heated kiss. Oh yes, she'd definitely missed him.

The way their mouths melded, tasting, devouring. The sensation that shot through her body at the feel of his hands pushing the last of the barriers out of the way and how she knew to step out of the fabric pooled at her feet quickly before he turned the tables. She knew he would and wasn't surprised a bit when suddenly she was the one with her back against the cold wall. Obviously he wasn't as opposed to the thought of sex in the basement anymore.

With a shiver, Lisbon gripped his shoulders as his teeth nipped along her jaw and up to her ear. His breath was hot, moist. His skin felt so warm pressed to hers and made her forget the cold against her back.

"Teresa," She moaned, embarrassingly, at just the sound of his voice dripping in desire and his hands stroking along her hips. "I rea-"

"Oh for goodness sake Jane! I thought women were supposed to be the ones who stall to talk about feelings..." Her frustration was starting to show but she was aching in need and he was – well she had no idea what he was doing. She knew he had to be just as miserably aroused, she could _feel _that he was. The throaty chuckle she felt vibrate from his chest only served to make her close her eyes and let her head fall back against the wall with a dull 'thud'.

"We all know you wear the pants in this relationship. To even things out, I have to be the – _oh,_" It was her turn to chuckle. She knew that reaching for a very sensitive part of his anatomy was a good way to make him focus on the task at hand.

"Just shut up, Patrick."

"Yes ma'am." He didn't seem to get it. She was trying to make love to him and he was turning it into something else entirely but she gained back part of the control by wrapping one leg around his waist. He got the hint, stepped closer to pin her to the wall, though it was clear he was wary of her baby bump, and finally she got what she needed.

A slow, gradual, gentle thrust and pure relief and pleasure seeped from every pore. The delight present on his features as well, as she stared with a heavy lidded gaze and he waited for her to push against him before moving. Seconds ticked away, only labored breaths, soft moans, and noisy kisses could be heard and it wasn't long before Lisbon felt the coil in the pit of abdomen clench tighter. She dropped her head to Jane's shoulder, sporadically kissing and nipping his skin when the urge struck or when she felt a sharp throb of raw ecstasy pulse through her core.

It didn't matter that they were in a basement – it was their home after all, and she felt warm, hot, safe and loved. It was all that mattered, he was all that mattered in that moment. What they were doing was the most important thing they'd done in awhile and the mounting pleasure held almost unbearable promise.

It was clear that he was feeling the same. He'd gone from emitting quiet sighs and occasional groans to mainly all groans and with each meeting of their hips, his fingers flexed into her skin. She didn't mind; she loved the feel of him absolutely everywhere.

Movements became faster, with more desperation behind them making their straining for release almost erratic in nature. Jane's breath was harsh and hot in her ear, hands gripping her hips tightly and she couldn't think. She couldn't form words, she couldn't breathe. She could only cling to him, try to bury her face in him, but he turned to seize her lips. Her back arched, her muscles locking as her body fell victim to a rapid unraveling – a pleasurable explosion that left her gasping against Jane's mouth.

He followed, simultaneously, driving into her one last time and slowly rocking. A shudder shook him – something unintelligible fell from his lips as he broke their kiss – and then she was hit with one of her own, almost as if it'd jumped from him to her. After shocks, flutters that reminded her of her release or perhaps it was the from the feel of him giving in to his. Either way, she was satisfied, and slumped against his chest because it felt like moving would take too much effort. She didn't even care if he ever said anything, she was content in just being silent, just being surrounded and filled by him.

"Now that...that was exactly what we needed." Apparently though, he wanted to speak.

"Mm."

"I'm serious, I think sexual frustration played a big part in this." He had a point but she couldn't bring herself to open her mouth to say so. A tiny nod was what she managed, along with another grunt.

"Mm." He pulled back, taking a step away from her to let her legs unwrap from his waist and find steady ground. She felt the cool air rush over her and immediately missed his warmth.

"This is probably the last time we'll be able to fully enjoy going at it against the wall. Bear didn't exactly make it easy this time." Lisbon smiled, pushing her hair out of her face and resting her palms over her growing middle. "Teresa, I'm going to ask again, are you sure you want to move in here?"

Her apartment had never truly been 'home'; it never made her feel like this. She hadn't felt at home anywhere since she was young but for some reason, the house or maybe it was being in the house with Jane and seeing the nursery but she felt like she was home. She didn't want to leave and she didn't plan to until morning.

"M'sure."

**a/n: It's 1:40 am and I have class at 8 am. Needless to say, I'm posting this and going to bed, but tomorrow, everyone who reviewed chapter 33 will get a review reply as well as one for chap 34 if you've reviewed by the time I get back from classes. It's kinda sad how I have to pick times to reply to reviews now. Oh college, you take up so much of my time. I have a test in History today...**


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: Just no.**

**A/N: I'M ALIVE! I re-read chapter 34 today, realized I didn't put the usual preview at the end and then I've taken forever to update anything. So sorry about that guys, college sucked me in, plus I got involved in a sort of relationship that wasn't a relationship and that was beyond emotionally draining. Ended up pregnant but I lost the baby which led to a mild depressed state of mind. Needless to say, I'm easing back into this with a chapter that's kind of randomly pointless, I need to write something happy to get back into the swing of things.**

**On that same note, this chapter is dedicated to the baby I lost on November 18th and for the baby my sister lost on December 8th. **

**For my baby and my little niece/nephew who both would've been due in June. Also, this chapter has a lot of dialogue...it was necessary.**

"What about Lily?"

"No, her middle name is Rose and that'd be too many flowery references." Back to square one yet again and Jane was growing tired of disagreeing on each and every name. They literally hadn't found one single name that they both liked. He'd now become accustomed to just popping in her office when a random female name popped into his head which explained why he was currently standing in the doorway receiving a look of furrowed brows and a disapproving pout.

"Okay then, how 'bout Morgan?"

"Mmm..."

"I already know that stands for no." The shake of Lisbon's head confirmed his suspicions and he let out a sigh. He couldn't remember picking a name for a child being so hard. Then again, it'd been awhile and his first wife was much more complacent about such things. "Cassidy?"

The nose scrunch showed distaste and instead of telling the difficult woman that she was making things all the more complicated by being picky, he let his eyes roam over her form. Even with her seated at her desk, he could see the swell of her stomach and knew he'd only resist the urge to touch for so long and she was still entirely too uptight about upholding professionalism. How was he supposed to be 'professional' when he had no idea what she even meant by the word? He was being professional, well he thought so anyway.

"I thought we agreed to talk about it at home. Shouldn't you be working...or doing something? We both know work isn't high on your priority list but surely there are other people in need of annoyance."

"You wound me dear wife, you know I'd rather be in here with you." To prove his point, he shuffled closer and let his eyebrows waggle suggestively. It put a smile on her face and that'd been the ultimate goal. "You know in the year we've been married, we've never had an office romp."

"We haven't been married a year, nor will we ever have an office 'romp'."

"Close enough to a year, and you never know. You've been awfully frisky lately."

"Yes, I do know and it's not my fault that I've been...y'know what, just get out of here." Clicking his tongue, Jane rounded the desk and perched himself on the edge so that Lisbon's elbow was touching his thigh. He loved the flush in her cheeks, the roll of the eyes and the fact that he knew it was all a show - mock annoyance. "Yes Jane, that's exactly what I said to do. By all means, come closer."

"You just want me out because you're afraid you can't control yourself. You're afraid your desire will win and we'll end up shutting the blinds, locking the door, and..."

"Patrick, you finish that sentence and you're sleeping on the couch...as soon as we move it."

"In that case, I'll just persuade the movers to 'misplace' it." The plan was rather genius, at least that's what he thought as his fingers danced over his wife's wrist. There was a spark in her eyes that he reveled in causing, just a little glimmer of the playfulness that she hid while working.

"Then you're back to sleeping on the floor mister."

"Next to the bed or downstairs?" Flashing a grin, he let his curious fingers wrap around her forearm and delighted in her sigh when he gently tugged her towards him. "It wasn't so bad to sleep next to the bed. A tad uncomfortable but at least you were in the room."

"In that case, downstairs it is."

"Meanie."

"What, are you five?" The raised eyebrow got him every time. She had no idea what she could do to him with that impish little smile and quirked eyebrow and he never planned to let her in on the secret. She'd just use it to her advantage and the woman was already entirely too good at giving as good as she got.

"I don't believe you. I don't think you'd make me sleep on the couch and you know why?" The aggravation expelled in a sigh, proved that she knew the question was one that he was going to answer whether she wanted him to or not. "Because hormones are doing such wonderful things to your sex drive m'dear. Although I'm starting to fear I may not be able to keep up."

"Okay, that's enough, out Patrick. I have work to do."

"Meh, you're pregnant."

"That's not an excuse to slack off and I'm trying to prove to Hightower that our marriage and this pregnancy won't affect our work so will you please go?"

"Oh fine, but for the record Reeses, we don't have to prove anything. It's been months since you told her, she doesn't care anymore." The palm he was gently caressing, jerked away to rest on the expanding middle covered by her shirt and he knew he was toeing the line. "And technically, just for the record, I don't think having sex in your office is considered slacking off. Seems to me like it'd be pretty hard work."

"Jane..." Her voice held a pleading quality, she was almost whining and he found it adorable. She looked so lovely, carrying his child and begging with her eyes for him to just leave her be. It was something he'd imagined but never thought he'd actually see and he knew he had to do just one more thing before he could walk out of her office.

"I'm going, I'm going." Holding his hands up in a surrender fashion, he moved away from her desk but only by a step or two. He wasn't going far and he could tell that she knew he'd given in much too easily. When he grabbed the arm of her chair and spun her around, he wasn't even met with a startled look. She seemed more bemused and slightly annoyed than anything.

Offering no explanation, he knelt down on one knee and smiled brightly. Her lips tilted in a confused little grin and her green eyes sparkled. He was beginning to think that Lisbon should just stay pregnant all year round. The look of carrying a child did wonders for her, she wore it well and with those thoughts fluttering through his head, he closed the distance between them to plant a kiss on her stomach. She tensed at the contact, shaking her head as if that would somehow miraculously stop him from doing anything further. The woman would never learn.

"Just thought I'd say bye to Bear." With a gentle pat to her midsection, he pushed himself back up and brushed his lips over her cheek. "No need to get huffy, I'll give you a kiss too."

"You're stalling. Now out."

"Oh fine. Come get me if anything exciting happens or if you change your mind about that proposition." She gave a small nod as a promise to the first and a shake of the head to the second. They both knew he was joking, thankfully, or he probably would end up on the couch.

Jane did as he was told – not willingly though – and left her to her 'work' as she called it. He thought it should be called 'mindless, boring chore' or 'waste of time' but perhaps that was just him.

Once settled back on his couch, he let his eyes catch on the ceiling and wondered if she'd actually let him know if anything exciting really happened. It was a promise he'd asked her to make several nights ago out of his fear of missing something important, like feeling the baby kick or move.

"She kick you out again?" It was unnerving that Cho always seemed to know and Jane had started to wonder if the man had his own mentalist abilities.

"No. I just thought I'd let her get some work done."

"She kicked you out." Furrowing his brow, Jane kept quiet for a few seconds. Was it that obvious? Choosing to ponder such things later, he quickly shrugged a shoulder and let his eyes close. He wasn't even going to deny it again but he was going to send in reinforcements just for safety purposes. It wasn't his fault that he worried so much. She was his wife and she was carrying their baby. He had a right to worry and he had a right to use backup when called for. Even though it probably wasn't exactly called for while she was tucked away safely in her office but he didn't care about such trivial things.

"Grace?" Jane wasn't beyond using someone Lisbon had gotten close to over the last several months. It actually helped because his dear wife never even suspected a thing. It was cute how clueless she was sometimes. He loved that about her.

"Yeah?"

"Do me a favor, will ya, and go keep Teresa company."

"Jane," The exasperation in her voice was clear but unwarranted. At least he thought so, he was simply trying to look out for his pregnant wife.

"Oh c'mon. It's not like we're doing anything. Just talk to her, she's lonely." He heard her move from her chair and knew he'd convinced her. He'd won, as usual, it was no real surprise to him. He didn't even have to open his eyes to know that Van Pelt was heading towards Lisbon's office and with a customary victory grin in place, he let himself doze. His work for the day was done.

* * *

Lisbon didn't even have to look up to know who had entered her office and why. It was becoming a regular occurrence but she pretended not to notice just so Jane would still think he could get away with playing mind games. She didn't move her eyes from the pages of names in front of her. She'd resorted to searching through the baby book on her own since they never agreed and ended up in petty arguments over what to call their little girl.

"Let me guess, Jane sent you again?"

"Yeah, how ya feeling?" Looking up from the list of names starting with the letter 'G', Lisbon bookmarked the page and gave the young agent a smile.

"Good. Really good."

"You look great." Scoffing lightly, she shifted in her chair to get comfortable, and gestured for Van Pelt to take a seat. It was nice to have some company on boring days. Someone other than Jane. He was her husband and all, but the man was around way too much at times and it'd only become worse since she'd told him she was pregnant. All of a sudden, he was constantly by her side, always asking if she was okay, always touching her and she wanted a few moments of the day to herself. Just a few and it'd been clear shortly after noticing his behavior that the only way she'd get any time without him hovering was when she was working. It was so easy to kick him out of her office, granted that didn't stop him from coming back several times throughout the day.

"I look six months pregnant."

"You are six months pregnant." Leaning back and resting her elbows on the armrests, Lisbon laced her fingers together over her stomach and nodded in agreement.

"Okay, good point. Are you still wanting to throw that baby shower? I honestly won't mind, I won't be thrilled but I'd rather it be you than Patrick." Both women were slightly shocked by her words and she had to admit that she hadn't intended to ever bring it up but what she'd said was true. She trusted Van Pelt more than Jane when it came to anything 'party' related. It took the redhead a few seconds to collect her thoughts but when she pulled it together, she smiled warmly.

"I still want to."

"I think we should get on it, just get it over with and out of the way. But it has to be after Patrick and I finish moving. Definitely before I'm eight months along and even though Bear is a girl, I don't want _everything _to be pink. Am I being too picky?" As the boss, she was used to giving orders and expecting them to be carried out but as a friend, well she was a little rusty in that department and still wasn't even sure if that was what she considered the woman seated across from her. They'd started going out, getting dinner and such. Jane pushed her into it most of the time but she'd started enjoying herself and no longer put up much of a fight. "Patrick says I'm too picky."

It was getting harder and harder for her to call the man 'Jane' unless it was strictly work related and in front of someone higher up on the food chain.

"It's your baby. You should get to choose, so no, you're not being too 'picky'."

"That's what I keep telling him." Sharing a smile and chuckle with the younger woman, Lisbon realized that yeah, she was her friend and it wasn't as bad as she'd thought. It was nice to have a female to chat with about random things that could – but didn't have to – relate to their jobs. "Wanna get some lunch? I'm starving."

"Actually, I already ate but if you want to go somewhere, I'll come."

"Nah, it's alright. I'll just get something delivered, or have Patrick run and pick up a few things. I'm pretty sure I could tell him to get something from halfway across the globe and he would."

"I think it's sweet."

"I think it's annoying but hey, it has perks." Carefully pushing herself up from the desk chair, Lisbon fully intended to exit her office and tell the man she'd married that she really wanted mozzarella sticks or perhaps some crackers and milk. It wasn't until she'd beckoned for Van Pelt to follow her out that she realized she'd become so used to Jane just up and running whenever she asked him to. He was too good to her and the pregnancy only made it ten times worse. She'd never been the type to ask others to do things, she was a big girl and could manage but she'd gotten lazy. It'd been a lot easier than she'd anticipated.

"You know, we should go shopping for the baby shower soon." A little stunned by the sudden suggestion from the eagerly smiling red head walking next to her, Lisbon thought it over for a few seconds.

"I thought I'd just give you free reign."

"It'd be easier if you're in on the planning. That way, I know you'll somewhat enjoy yourself." She didn't want to be roped into it but she didn't want to completely shoot down Grace's idea either. Their working relationship was different than the personal one and she wasn't going to hurt her friend's feelings.

With steady steps, they both entered the bullpen just as Lisbon gave a nod in agreement. She'd go but she wasn't promising to like it. One hand rubbed over her expanded stomach as a loving grin took over her features once she saw the consultant sprawled on the worn couch in the corner. Sure, she'd been a bit annoyed with him earlier in the day but once she realized he was actually sleeping, her frustrations faded. It was her fault, after all, that he was so tired lately.

That wasn't going to stop her from waking him but when she opened her mouth, it wasn't words that came out. A gasp filled with surprise was the only sound that left her lips as she grasped her stomach with both hands and immediately three agents were at her side.

"Are you okay Boss?" Cho was the one to speak up but she could see the worry in all of their eyes. It didn't help that her own were beginning to water with tears.

"M'fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, Cho, I'm good." The skepticism showed on all three faces but she offered a bright grin and stroked over the baby bump in an attempt to convince her daughter to do it again. She wanted to feel it again, she wanted to know that she'd just felt a kick, the first kick. "I think she just kicked."

Lisbon didn't give anyone time to say anything before pushing by them to get closer to the couch. Normally, she'd wake her husband slowly, or if there was a case she'd kick at the piece of furniture to shake him awake but this was something big, the something he'd been waiting for. She didn't bother with her usual tactics and went straight for one of his hands that he'd positioned under his head. It jostled him enough to make him mumble incoherently and jerk awake just as she placed his fingers over her belly.

"Wha-"

"She kicked, Bear kicked." Her whisper of awe registered quickly and resulted in Jane sitting up and pressing his hand closer as a smile lit up his features. Seconds ticked by in silence, no one daring to break the bubble the two were submersed in but it didn't last, Jane's smile faded as he started to softly stroke over Lisbon's stomach. "C'mon Bear, do it again so Daddy can feel too."

"I guess she doesn't want to do it again." It was hard to see him upset, Lisbon hated it. That was how they'd ended up married in the first place and it still made her chest constrict. Her happiness waned but she offered a sympathetic quirk of her lips and made the most of it.

"Great. She's already acting like her father – not even born yet and she won't listen."

"Hey, if anything, she's acting like her mother, undeniably stubborn."

"I am not-"

"Shh, whoa, was that...did she..." The hand Jane had pressed to the bump moved over to the right side and stayed while Lisbon gave a small nod just as another healthy kick was supplied by the daughter snuggly tucked away in her womb. Smiles were back in full form, and the warmth of his hand was joined by her own as she threaded her fingers through his.

Usually she kept any form of showing affection out of the office but this was a special occasion and she didn't care what anyone thought about it. When watery eyes looked up into hers and his voice came out in a whisper, she wanted to show him just how much she really loved him.

"That's our baby, Teresa."

"I know." The awkward clearing of a throat tore them from their moment and she remembered where they were and who all was witnessing such a private conversation. Rigsby was to blame for bringing them back to reality but she was slightly glad that he had or she wouldn't have stopped herself from giving her husband a very warm kiss for all to see. There was a time and place for that and in the middle of the bullpen with an audience of agents and personnel was not it. Hadn't she just been telling Jane a few hours ago that an office romp was out of the question? No way was she about to admit to him that he'd managed to make her second guess herself on that topic. She'd never live it down.

"Let me take you to lunch."

"Lunch came and went awhile ago, it's more or less dinner time." Her stomach rumbled to agree with the idea of food and her cheeks flushed at the loud sound.

"You're hungry, it's decided, we're packing it up early today." Stepping back to accommodate him as he stood, she shook her head and firmly set her jaw.

"Hey, I'm the boss and we are not copping out on the rest of the day just because I'm hungry. We can get some food and come back."

"Meh, so much easier to just go home. Besides, it's a boring day and they'll call if something exciting happens." Scoffing at the thought of just leaving because there was nothing better to do, Lisbon looked around the bullpen and was surprised to see that her team were staring at her as if it'd be the thing for her to do.

"No, and it's not exciting when someone gets killed. It's a bad thing."

"Of course it is. C'mon, let's get you something to eat before you get all grumpy." Without waiting for her reply, he started walking towards the elevator and she followed with the intent to once again stress how important it was that she come back to work. It completely escaped her that she was letting him win just by following in the first place. "Italian sound good?"

"Sounds fine. We're coming back though."

"Sure, whatever you say."

"We are."

"Okay, Mrs. Jane." Her lips quirked upward at the title but she let it slide. She had the strangest feeling that she was being suckered but she didn't much care when the promise of Italian was fueling her decision making process.

Only hours later, she was proved to be right when a kiss to her cheek roused her from her little afternoon nap. She hadn't realized that she'd fallen asleep in the car but upon inspection of her whereabouts, she knew she'd made a mistake by dozing off. They weren't parked in the CBI parking lot, nor anywhere near it. No, she was sitting in Jane's car in the driveway to the house she'd grown to love.

The still somewhat empty house was more of a home to her than her apartment and they'd started staying in it more and more as they moved all the small things piece by piece but it was not where she wanted to be at that moment. She couldn't just take off from work for a late lunch and forgo returning till the next day. It was unethical, unprofessional, and she wasn't about to let the man next to her off the hook so easily.

"Patrick..." The exasperation in her tone only seemed to amuse him. "I can't just skip out on my job with no excuse. I'm the boss, remember?"

"Taken care of. I called Hightower because you weren't feeling so well, she understands." For several seconds, not a word is spoken between them but Lisbon fastens a glare towards her mischievous husband and crosses her arms over her chest. "Oh come now love, you're six months pregnant and haven't taken one day to yourself. Besides, it's after four, there's no need to go back."

"And why is that?"

"The movers are bringing the rest of our stuff at five, remember?" Reluctantly releasing her seatbelt, she simply nodded. She did remember but had no idea why that meant she couldn't be at work. Surely, he was more than capable of showing them which things went in which rooms and if not, then she could always fix it when she got home.

"Fine." Lisbon knew she never should have agreed to let him drive. She'd known it was a bad idea and yet, she'd given in.

After climbing out of the car, she shut the door with a little more oomph than was completely necessary but she hoped it got her point across. The man was infuriating sometimes, doing things behind her back and expecting her to just grin and go along with it but she wasn't going to let something petty boil over into a huge mess. She'd brush it off this time simply because she didn't want to fight again. Not when the day had been amazing. Feeling their baby kick was something to be cherished, not ruined by a small disagreement and in all honesty, she didn't mind the thought of getting to relax for an evening.

A triumphant smile pulled at her lips when she heard him following closely behind and when his palm met her lower back, she let out a sigh and slid the key in the lock. It was all so routine, so domestic, and her expanding stomach was now a constant reminder of just how 'domestic' they truly were.

The door opened with a slight creak – something Jane had promised to fix but he hadn't yet and she was starting to get used to what had been an annoyance. Lisbon was well aware of the fact that if she didn't do it herself, then it wouldn't get done. There was no way she'd really believe her husband had solely done most of the work on the house. She'd bet money that it was something more along the lines of him being the mastermind and Cho and Rigsby being the construction workers. Except for the stairs apparently, he took great pride in the stairs.

Once both were inside, she let the door close and turned the deadbolt just as arms wrapped around her waist. The dark haired woman wanted to ignore him just as a bit more of punishment but his hands were stroking over her belly and she just couldn't bring herself to move.

"Isn't this nice?" A shiver ran down her spine as his breath tickled her ear. "Just us and Bear?"

"You act like this is the first time we've been alone in months."

"Feels like it." Chuckling softly, she grabbed his hands to remove them from her stomach and lead him towards the basement door.

"I'm pretty sure I remember being alone this morning. If we weren't then whomever happened to be around got a hell of a show."

"Meh, this morning, a couple months ago – what's the difference?" Descending the stairs into the basement, she kept tugging him along and he didn't even have to ask why. Every night they'd gone through the same – or close to it – routine of spending a couple hours working on the cradle he'd found. "Remember the first night I brought you down here?"

"Behave or I'll make you go back upstairs and finish this myself." It was the eyebrow waggling that broke through her mock authority and earned a laugh. "C'mon Romeo, let's get to it. Get the sandpaper, would ya?"

Working side by side like a fine tuned machine, they sanded down more of the splintered wood until it was smooth again. Occasionally they'd share a smile, satisfied with their work but mostly it was silent besides the sound of the sand paper scraping over the abused cradle. A good silent, one that they both felt comfortable with and that was something that Lisbon absolutely loved. Even with the way they started their marriage, they could still sit together, do things, and not feel the need to keep conversation constant. That was the only reason she hadn't called it quits before they ever got off the ground all those months ago.

Almost a year ago, goodness, she really couldn't believe that she'd been living with and married to Patrick Jane for that long. It seemed unreal, even with her extended belly and glittering rings. Sometimes it felt as though just days had passed since the awkward mumbling of I do's before the judge and sometimes it felt like an eternity. She was starting to think that they really were in it for the long haul and that still occasionally made her uneasy but then Jane would say something or give her a warm kiss and everything just went away. She couldn't imagine going through everything without him anymore, especially the pregnancy. It wasn't a matter of if she could do it on her own or not – she knew she could – it was a matter of she didn't have to and she didn't want to. Their little girl was one lucky little sprout, Lisbon was head over heels for their baby and she knew that the man next to her with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows was just as smitten.

"You okay?" Torn from her thoughts, Lisbon jerked around to see Jane's twinkling eyes watching her curiously.

"Yeah, yeah m'fine."

"You sure? You've been staring off into space for a good five minutes."

"Just thinking." The worried expression that took over his features made her bite back a smile. Of course he'd assume that her 'thinking' led to bad things. "About the baby, about us."

"And?"

"My, my, Patrick Jane. Are you afraid that I'll come to my senses and declare this whole marriage a sham?"

"Terribly so, my dear. After all, you'd have to be mad to marry me...twice." Sharing a smile with him, she shook her head and dropped the sand paper to grasp his hand. The moment could've turned serious in an instant but she kept the mood light.

"I am mad, completely bonkers but if this is what it gets me, then I can live with that." The work that lay before them was forgotten, both occupied with each other once again and the feelings elicited by just the touch of their hands. A somewhat wicked smirk took over Lisbon's lips as she leaned closer to her other half. "Besides, I figure you're already over-the-hill – what's a few more years of putting up with your shenanigans?"

"You little minx. I'll get you back for that one."

"Oh I'm looking forward to it. In the meantime, we should discuss names."

"Movers are coming at five, babe." Ignoring the endearment, Lisbon pressed her lips to his softly before resuming her handiwork.

"That means we still have twenty minutes to argue."

"We wouldn't argue if you liked just one name I come up with."

"I'd like them if you came up with good ones." His exasperated sigh thrilled her to the point of stifling a laugh. Now he knew how it felt to be completely frustrated to the point of having no more words. Payback was definitely sweet. "Any suggestions?"

"Brittany?"

"No, too common and Brittany Rose Jane? Really Patrick?"

"Why do I bother? How bout you pick the names and I'll add the input?" With a shrug of indifference, she agreed. He probably already knew but she had a few choice names she'd picked and they were the only ones she'd consider for their special girl.

"I like Ashyla, Addalyn, and Avery if we want something that starts with an 'A'."

"Oh, so someone has already made up their mind. Alright then, what about 'B'?"

"B is a no go. Couldn't find anything." The smirk on Jane's face grew when she scrunched her nose in distaste. He'd bet money that she spent hours and hours pouring through that name book – the one she'd swore she wasn't going to use. "I made a list of names that I really love so why don't you do the same and we'll compare. Narrow it down some, maybe we'll get lucky and like the same name or something."

"That sounds like a brilliant plan Reeses."

"I've been known to have them and you've been known to ignore them. Just like I ignore the fact that you still call me by that awful nickname."

"You love it. I know you do." Her reply was cut short by the doorbell so she just pushed him away and told him to go answer the door. She would never admit it aloud but she'd grown used to the name and did indeed love it. He was the only one who had ever called her that so it was kind of special to her. She still thought it was stupid but the man had a tendency to come up with the strangest things.

As he walked up the basement stairs and she watched him go, she found herself contemplating their future. The future that would include their daughter and possibly more, if the situation was right. Perhaps they could get a dog too. She loved dogs and now that they had a house with a huge yard, it'd be perfect. Laughing quietly to herself, she realized she was getting a bit carried away. She needed to get through the next few months first and those few months were rapidly approaching and getting scarier with each passing day. She was going to be a mom, she was going to give birth to a baby, her husband's baby. Patrick Jane's baby and they were going to raise their little girl in the house that he'd bought for her. Yep, it still sounded just as crazy as it had a month ago, a week ago even. Still as crazy and still as true.

**a/n: I'm doing my best to return to all of my neglected stories. This one is just (hopefully) the start. **

**Next: **

"**_I'm trying, Jane. This isn't as easy as it looks."_ **

"**_Well try harder, Rigsby!"_ Ignoring the sounds of bickering coming from upstairs, Lisbon returned to watching television while sprawled out on the couch. If they killed each other, she wasn't cleaning it up but she'd be extremely pissed about the stains on the carpet. **

**Laughing to herself, she didn't even bother moving to see what they were trying to do. She'd just ask later but something told her she didn't really want to know. When the sound of a crash clattered from above followed by a string of curses then complete silence, she knew she had to do something.**

"**Patrick?" No answer. "Wayne?" Again no answer, and with a groan she pushed herself up to go investigate. If they tore something up, she was going to kill them. If they made her move for no reason, she was going to kill them.**


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: See all previous chapters.**

**A/N: Well guys, I hope this is to your liking. Thanks so much for the epic response to the last chapter, I admit that I didn't expect hardly anyone to still be interested since I've been taking so long to update. Also, if you read any of my other stories, I promise that I have not abandoned them. It's just been a crazy ride lately between college, relationships, home life and shows no signs of slowing down. Although I did go on a bit of an updating rampage last week. That being said, I'll get on with this chapter. It's one of those filler chapters, we're so close to the baby being born that I'm all excited for THAT chapter so I'm a little meh, on this one.**

**Also, a lot of people have been asking if the story ends once Lisbon has Bear. No it doesn't. This story is only just beginning. There's still several road blocks for them to hit in their relationship and the baby only brings out more things they haven't discussed as well as reopening old wounds.**

There were several things that made Patrick Jane a happy man and there were several things that made him sad but on mornings when his pregnant wife was flat on her back and breathing deeply, he couldn't help but smile. Mornings such as the one he found himself immersed in only solidified that he'd made the right decision by asking Lisbon for her hand in marriage. The dark mess of long tangled hair and slightly parted lips only added to the appeal and despite the early hour, he was suddenly remembering just what those lips could do to him.

Shifting in the dimly lit room, he propped himself up on one elbow to stare down at the sleeping beauty next to him. Some days he found himself wondering if they'd made the right choice but he never doubted his feelings and when his eyes traveled over her figure to rest on the expansion of her belly, he hated that he even questioned things at all. She'd shown him that they deserved some happiness and his heart swelled with warmth just from watching her sleep. The blanket he had covering his legs was beneath hers and he vaguely remembered her mumbling something about being too hot in the middle of the night. She wasn't comfortable unless the room was an igloo thanks to their unborn daughter and that only made him love her more.

It was hard for him to resist touching her, hard to convince himself that it'd only wake her and in the end his urge won. With a light touch, he trailed his index finger down her forehead, over her nose, lightly tapped her parted lips and continued on down her neck. If he wasn't mistaken, he'd swear there was a light smile tugging at her mouth. When her body squirmed as he stroked over her collarbone, he knew she was only pretending to be asleep. Just to prove his theory, Jane stopped touching her for a brief moment and triumphed when her brow scrunched in confusion and her lips formed a pout. He let out a little chuckle before going in for the kill. Maneuvering around on the bed, he lifted her shirt with greedy hands and pressed his mouth to her stomach as she spoke for the first time.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm saying good morning to Bear." It was a partial lie and Lisbon knew it. His lips were moving in a sensual manner but she'd play along, just as she had been since he started touching her. The second his fingers found their way beneath the waistband of her panties, she knew there was one thing on his mind and it had nothing to do with saying 'good morning to Bear'. She wanted to pop off with some witty retort but the words died on her lips when his finger tips skimmed along the sensitive skin of her hip. The cloth that covered her, he pushed down her legs until she was free to kick them the rest of the way off. His head ducked further down and she couldn't see him over her seven month belly. Propping herself up on her elbows, she inhaled sharply as his mouth pressed warmly to her inner thigh. She was just about to ask what he was doing as he parted her legs but coherent thought was lost the second his tongue connected with the one place she desperately needed touched. Her hips jerked in pleasant shock and a curse flew from her lips.

She could feel him chuckle against her skin, his smile buried in her folds and with no thought put into the action, her hands gripped the tangled sheets to hold on for dear life.

"That is not Bear." The breathlessness in her tone amplified when he nipped at her sensitive flesh and just when she was about to tell him how good it felt, he stopped, leaned back a bit and gave her a devilish grin.

"Well no, but I figured Mommy needed a good morning too." Lisbon expected him to crawl over her prone form, lift the bunched up shirt from her body and continue from there but he didn't. He resumed his previous position and a moan fell from her lips when his mouth went back to work on making her fall apart. The feeling was new, he'd never shown interest in anything like it before and she'd just assumed he didn't enjoy it but from the enthusiastic movement of his lips and tongue, she'd been wrong.

Eyes fluttering closed, her fists gripped the sheets tighter than before and she felt the burning in her core worsen with each stroke of his mouth. She hadn't realized how truly worked up she was until that moment. As a loud sigh slipped through her parted lips, she let her mind relax and let the pleasure take over. No thoughts of impending labor, no thoughts of grocery shopping, no thoughts of work, just feel. The feel of love, the feel of Patrick Jane.

A mumbled sentence that she wasn't even sure was made up of actual words flew off of her tongue as she felt the coil low in her body tighten uncomfortably. Moving a hand from the sheet, she gripped a handful of golden curls and cried out when the feeling of release flooded her body from head to toe.

When her muscles relaxed, her panting slowed, and she finally opened her eyes, Jane was looming over her, very careful not to disturb her expanding stomach. The smile on his face was warm and lazy, making her return one of her own. Her cheeks were hot from the pleasure making his fingers feel cool when he brushed her hair back from her face.

"Good morning Beautiful."

"That's horribly cheesy this early, Patrick." Twisting beneath him to get comfortable, Lisbon let her hands go straight for the hem of her shirt with the intent of finishing what he'd started but his fingers wrapping around her wrist stopped her.

"Easy there love, what do you want for breakfast?" Puzzled by his behavior, she let go of the cloth and tilted her head slightly to the left.

"Uh...what?"

"Breakfast, you know, first meal of the day?" Playfully slapping his chest, Lisbon rolled her eyes and gave him a mock pout.

"Oh, hush, I know what breakfast is but I was just expecting something a little different right about now." The grin on Jane's face went from one of amusement to one resembling something wickedly delicious but Lisbon could tell that he was about to change things up.

"An omelet and fresh fruit it is, I'll go get it started." As soon as he tried to move, she grabbed his arms to hold him steadily in place and gave him a disbelieving look. Was he serious? He'd just given her a great orgasm and he was just going to hop out of bed to go downstairs and make breakfast instead of partaking in a round of steamy sex?

"Is this a joke? I can tell that you'd rather stay in bed."

"I won't deny that but your stomach has been growling for ten minutes my dear." Frowning at the fact that she hadn't noticed, Lisbon looked down at her baby bump. "We're off today, nowhere to be. We can finish this later."

A warm loving kiss was pressed to her forehead and then he was out of bed and heading for the door. Lying there for a few minutes after he left, she couldn't help but smile and snuggle deeper into the bed. The man was more concerned over her eating than anything else anymore. Overprotective sometimes, but she could deal with it most days. After a moment of pondering, she felt a chill overtake her lower half and scooted to the edge of the bed to look for the pants she'd discarded in the middle of the night.

It was difficult to bend to grab things and sitting up was becoming problematic which explained why the frustrated sigh flew from her mouth when she saw the garment in the floor. Cautiously moving into a sitting position, she hoisted herself up from the bed and then stared at the floor for a minute as if calculating the best way to approach her mission. This was the fun part, but she was determined to get the pants and with only a few difficulties she triumphed.

Once dressed and teeth brushed, Lisbon placed her hand over her unborn child and headed for the stairs. Only a couple more months of being unable to bend over and then she'd be able to move freely again, after recovery from labor of course. That thought alone was enough to make her pause in mid walk. The baby was going to be here before she knew it. It felt like it had just been yesterday when she'd nearly had a breakdown in the bathroom after realizing that she just might be pregnant. A healthy kick from her daughter jolted her out of her thoughts and made her resume the walk down the staircase and into the kitchen. As odd as it seemed, she felt as though she'd miss the endless kicks her little girl supplied and even the belly that came along with it. But nearing the end of month seven meant that it wasn't too much longer before they'd have a baby around the house. Lisbon wasn't sure which thought scared her more, the thought of delivering the baby or the thought of raising one.

She didn't even care that Jane was standing at the stove whipping up something that smelled heavenly as she made her way to the table, she just started talking to the baby hidden inside of her and pretended not to notice the smirk growing on her husband's face.

"Bear, I'm just gonna say this now; I apologize for all the times I'm going to mess up. I know I've said this a million times but I really hope you'll understand some day."

"You'll be a great mom Teresa, you already are." Sharing a small smile with Jane, she reached for his hand as he walked closer with a plate that looked to be overflowing in food. The best part was that she planned to eat every bit of it, she might share a little bit. Maybe if he asked nicely.

"Smells amazing."

"Just the way you like it, eggs, cheese, and bell pepper. You are odd my dear." The omelet looked great, still steaming but the first thing she went for once the plate in front of her was the slices of strawberries and bananas on the side. Grasping tighter onto Jane's hand, she pulled him to her and leaned her head against his stomach lovingly, lightly nuzzling him.

"Thank you."

"I've got a little surprise for you today so I'm gonna shower and get ready. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"You said we didn't have anywhere to be."

"We don't but it should only take an hour tops." Slightly dejected by the thought of him leaving when she'd planned on a day of being lazy with him, Lisbon simply turned back to her food and started stabbing at the omelet. "Aw c'mon don't pout. I'm not even leaving the house Reeses."

Unable to bite back the slight smile that stupid nickname always brought to her lips, she just shook her head in disbelief and shooed him away with her free hand. He'd made her think he had somewhere to go which technically would have been fine. She didn't have him on a leash or anything but she really did want to have a lazy day of being in bed or on the couch or perhaps watching movies. Pregnancy was making her unbelievably lazy and unproductive on her days off. With her hand still on her extended stomach, she lifted a bite of omelet to her open mouth and practically moaned in ecstasy when the flavors burst onto her tongue. At least she'd married a man who knew his way around the kitchen and wasn't opposed to pleasing her crazy cravings during odd hours of the night, or in this case, morning. Sadly though, the man was still a loose cannon at work, there was no controlling him. He was Jane and she supposed that would never change, at least he was constant in his spontaneous actions. Like how she'd spent two days the week before trying to smooth out ruffled feathers thanks to his desperate need to stir up drama. He'd slept on the couch for a night but managed to weasel his way back into the bed by bribing her with delicious food and a foot rub.

Pausing mid bite, Lisbon realized how pathetic that sounded. Being bribed by a foot rub and food? God, she wasn't even capable of holding out long enough for him to bring out the big guns. She hadn't even thought of making him do something for her own amusement or making him offer a night of sex to get back into their bed. She'd just given it up at the thought of eating and propping up her feet. Yeah, they were definitely married. This was that stage she'd always heard about but never believed in. The stage when there were weeks without so much as an intimate touch of any kind, although he'd woke her quite nicely earlier. Something told her though that once the baby came, things such as sex would be few and far between, not that it mattered. Their relationship was built on so much more than just sex but she wasn't going to lie and say that it wasn't an added bonus that she loved partaking in. Shrugging a shoulder, she continued eating and only stopped when an unfamiliar noise startled her out of her orgasmic breakfast.

At first the jingle scared her and then she reminded herself that the house had a doorbell and that the noise interrupting her meal was a sign that someone was waiting on the porch. She still wasn't quite used to living in a house instead of an apartment. She waited a few seconds hoping that Jane would miraculously hear it and dress quickly enough to rush down the stairs but she knew that was only wishful thinking and with a huff, she got up to answer the door.

They weren't expecting company that she knew of but he'd mentioned a surprise so perhaps it was waiting on the other side. Although her excitement was dampened when she pulled open the door to see Rigsby standing anxiously on her porch. As if on cue, her husband chose that moment to appear at her side, showered and refreshed. She wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed by her attire or confused by the whole thing. The warmth of a hand on her back made her conclude that she was both.

"Mornin' Rigsby. I told her she'd be getting a surprise today."

"Is this my surprise?"

"Part of it, dear." Stepping to the side, she let the tall man enter and then turned back towards her husband.

"Oh Patrick, you shouldn't have. Really." Neither seemed to notice that Rigsby was standing in the foyer with a slight look of discomfort on his face at watching the two interact in their home.

"Meh, don't mind her Rigsby. She's grumpy, it's the hormones." With a snort and roll of the eyes, Lisbon didn't even bother asking about the so called 'surprise' and just headed back to the kitchen. Those two could do whatever they wanted. She wasn't about to stand around in her pajamas in front of her subordinate discussing irrelevant topics. Nor did she want to discuss hormones. She'd simply wait until they were elsewhere and then sneak up to the bedroom to change into something more appropriate. She'd seriously maim Jane later for not warning her about the need to change into something visitor friendly. The man was impossible but she liked the way he looked in just the slacks and button down shirt, so she'd let it slide for the meantime and make him pay for it once the sun dipped below the horizon.

"Your daddy is a mess, Bear." Moving the plate to the sink, Lisbon tried to forget about the 'surprise' and the fact that her husband had invited Rigsby to help him with 'it' – whatever it was. It bothered her, not knowing and she didn't like it much. "Oh god, please please don't take after him. I can't handle two, I can barely handle just one."

A hard kick was her reply and something told her she was definitely in for it. Rubbing the spot her little girl had just kicked, she let out a sigh and headed to the laundry room.

"I suppose you can act like him if you wish, I love you either way but just keep in mind that he gets in trouble a lot." Emphasizing 'a lot', she checked the laundry basket of clean clothes on the floor for some type of appropriate clothes to wear. She didn't really want to go upstairs if it wasn't necessary. "And I'd like to have you on my side so we can gang up on him. I know you have no idea what I'm talking about but just trust me, mommy knows best and daddy knows nothing."

Seven months into the pregnancy and she was still amazed by how things had changed. She was talking to her stomach for crying out loud and it wasn't considered weird anymore. It didn't feel strange, it just seemed normal. In some odd way she'd started seeing herself as a mother, wondering what it'd be like once their little girl was in her arms. This was never how she'd imagined spending her days, she never thought she'd end up married with a baby on the way. In all honesty, Lisbon was the type who'd been satisfied with the thought of just being married to her job. Her social life was okay, after all she'd been going on dates with Mr. Slow, perhaps that would have eventually led to something but it didn't matter anymore. She was happy with the choices she'd made even though it had put her through an emotional whirlwind for months.

She wondered who Bear would resemble, secretly hoping it'd be her, but also knowing it didn't really matter. They still hadn't agreed on a name and she was getting nervous about it. What if they never found something they both liked, what would happen when the baby came? There were only a few more months left. She should have known that it'd be difficult for them to agree on something like a name for a child. They were so different but it worked for them.

After changing into some maternity jeans and a comfortable cotton shirt, she headed to the living room to let the guys know she was taking over the couch. Only once she got in there, they were nowhere to be found. Deciding it wasn't her job to keep up with two adults, Lisbon grabbed the remote and decided she was going to relax. The cars were still in the driveway so they hadn't left and after a few moments, she could hear voices from upstairs. All was good and with the privacy, she lifted her shirt and pushed the fabric from the maternity pants out of the way.

"What do you say we watch some mindless television, Bear?" Not really paying attention to the movie that was playing when she turned it on, Lisbon kept her eyes on her stomach. She was starting to think she was as a big as a house but her doctor had told her she was actually considered small for how far along she was. "I can't wait till you're here. I'm terrified but excited. I know I talk about Daddy being a pain but he loves you so much and he's an amazing father. You're really lucky."

Unwilling to let thoughts and unimportant memories ruin her little talk with her unborn daughter, Lisbon pushed away the lump in her throat.

"I promise you that you're gonna have the best life I can give you and I will never hurt you. I'll keep you safe." Feeling a tear cascade down her cheek, she moved to wipe it away and grew quiet. She just relaxed and let the movement of the baby ease her mind. She hadn't been ready for a baby when she found out she was expecting and she still didn't feel ready but she'd do her best. That's all she could do and she knew that Jane was amazing with children, she was lucky to have him.

Letting her eyes meet the screen, she tried to get into the movie but it was mainly just keeping her gaze captive. Her thoughts were still running until some interesting words interrupted her focus.

"_I'm trying, Jane. This isn't as easy as it looks."_

"_Well try harder, Rigsby!" _Ignoring the sounds of bickering coming from upstairs, Lisbon returned to watching television while sprawled out on the couch. If they killed each other, she wasn't cleaning it up but she'd be extremely pissed about the stains on the carpet.

Laughing to herself, she didn't even bother moving to see what they were trying to do. She'd just ask later but something told her she really didn't want to know. When the sound of a crash clattered from above followed by a string of curses then complete silence, she knew she had to do something.

"Patrick?" No answer. "Wayne?" Again, no answer and with a groan she pushed herself up to go investigate. If they tore something up, she was going to kill them. If they made her move for no reason, she was going to kill them. It was silent as she made her way up the stairs but by the time she reached the top she could hear muffled cursing and groaning. Quickening her steps as best she could, she followed the sound into the nursery and stopped dead in her tracks once seeing the two men.

Rigsby was doubled over, cradling his left arm, and his face was a shade of red that she knew wasn't considered healthy. He was biting his lip and looked to be in pain while her lovely husband was just standing there dumbstruck amongst pieces of wood that she didn't have a clue as to where they'd come from or what they were supposed to be.

"What happened?" Instead of an answer all she got was Jane pointing to Rigsby. Rolling her eyes, she placed her hand on the agent's back and tried to piece things together. "Are you okay?"

"I'm sure he's fine."

"You shut up, something tells me this is your fault. Wayne, are you alright?" It took a moment for the man to straighten but once he did Lisbon could see the problem clearly. His hand and wrist were turning a shade of purple and already swelling. Great, this was exactly what she wanted to deal with on her day off.

"I'm okay." Just by the way he was gritting his teeth she knew he was lying.

"No you're not, I'll take you to the hospital." Glaring over at Jane, she shook her head and led Rigsby out of the nursery. She should have known something bad would happen if she left those two alone for very long. "Patrick, drive his car and meet us there."

* * *

Two and a half hours later, Jane and Lisbon made their way through the front door of their home with matching looks of frustration on their faces. Jane didn't understand why the beauty behind him was angry with him when he'd only been trying to make things easier on her. He'd just wanted to help, show his appreciation.

"Teresa..."

"Patrick, you broke his wrist. I have a wounded agent now."

"I didn't, the shelves that fell on it did and technically it's only fractured." The growl that fell from her lips told him that was the wrong thing to say and he felt himself starting to feed off of her anger.

"What the hell is wrong with you? What were you even trying to do?"

"I was trying to help you. Surprise you." It wasn't going the way he'd planned but his heart had been in the right place, at least he'd thought it had been but she was looking at him as if studying some alien species she'd never seen before. He wanted her to understand. Their main problems always revolved around misunderstandings and he didn't want this added to the list. "Why are you so mad when it was an accident?"

"Because it always is. You never think about things, you just do them and they have consequences, something bad could happen, and you never even consider it Patrick!" The frustration and fear in her voice made it clear to him that they were no longer talking about the same thing. Her mind was elsewhere and he knew in that moment, that she wasn't harping on him solely because of the Rigsby incident. "Remember when you fell off that roof?"

"That was a long time ago and I was trying to protect you. What does that have to do with me trying to put together a large shelving unit so you have easy access to the baby's things as well as storage space?" Silence answered because she couldn't. It didn't have anything to do with it but her mind was just jumbled. She wasn't even sure there was a point to her argument, she was just upset. "Teresa, I'm trying here but you're not giving me the chance. I'm excited for this baby and I'm trying to show you that I'm invested in this."

"I know that, you don't have to try to prove anything."

"Yes I do." When his hand rested on her stomach, she let herself really look at him for the first time since she'd heard the loud crash that led them to the emergency room. "I don't want to make the same mistakes twice."

Reality crashed around her, bursting the little bubble they'd been in for weeks. Reminding her that their lives were anything but normal, anything but perfect and she'd overreacted to something that was out of their hands. He hadn't purposefully invited Rigsby over with the intentions of hurting him but then again, that wasn't what had her worked up either.

"I'm not mad at you, well maybe a little, but I know you didn't mean for Rigsby to get hurt. I'm just worried."

"About what?"

"You. I always worry about you, always have."

"This has nothing to do with shelves or Rigsby does it?" Stifling a small laugh, Lisbon shook her head. It was time to come clean about something that had been bothering her for awhile. She just hadn't realized it.

"You need to be more careful. I'm not asking you to stop with the stunts you pull, that'd never happen but I'm asking you to please think really hard about possible outcomes before you decide to do something crazy or piss someone off. There's a baby to consider now." Warm hands enveloped her cheeks and she let out a shaky breath before looking up to meet his gaze. This was all so strange, she hadn't felt that way earlier, at least not her knowledge.

"I'm not going anywhere, Teresa and honestly, I'm more worried about you. Your job is dangerous, you need to be careful too."

"I know."

"Are we good now?" Nodding halfheartedly, Lisbon couldn't help but smile as the baby kicked and Jane captured her lips in a soft kiss. As much as she enjoyed being able to feel the little one move, she wanted her body back. She wanted her emotions to be stable again. "Now I believe I promised you this morning that we'd have all day to finish what we started."

"That you did but I'm tired so I think I'm just gonna take a nap." Leaving him dazed, she started for the stairs only turning back to tell him one more thing. "You can put away the laundry so you don't get bored."

"Is this you punishing me?" Her laugh echoed down the stairs and she kind of wished she'd been able to see his face but apparently he listened. He didn't follow her and she actually spent ten minutes waiting for him to join her but the sounds of him puttering around the house eventually lulled her into sleep.

The daily nap was interrupted without her knowledge when Jane was finished with a few household chores. She slept on, not even noticing that he crawled in next to her and pulled her into his chest. However, her body immediately snuggled closer, as close as possible thanks to Bear, and her face pressed into his neck. He understood her concerns, understood that she was scared something could happen, he had the same fears about her. He didn't want to raise their child alone anymore than she did. He would be more careful, he had to be. He wasn't going to break his promise, he was going to be there for everything. Nothing was going to take him away from little 'Bear' Rose Jane. They really did need to find a first name for the little princess hidden in her belly but he just couldn't find anything that he thought would fit. He knew she was having just as hard of a time with it, and it was worse ever since she'd suggested making a list to narrow things down. His list had twenty names, hers had fifteen and not one matched.

For now, he'd call his baby 'Bear' or 'Rose' but that would only last so long. With a new state of mind, he decided that the next name she offered up would be the one they went with. As long as it wasn't completely horrible, that is. He wanted something pretty, strong, graceful for their daughter but he'd let her choose as long as it wasn't one of those names that no one should choose for their child.

And just to please her even more, he'd buy Rigsby lunch as an apology.

**a/n: I've started a blog where you can read a little about me and its also where I'm going to post random snippets of a book I've been writing. Its at: thoughtsonlifesmysteries(dot)blogspot(dot)com **

**Next up: Jolisa is back!**

"**Esa, tummy big?" The completely perplexed look on the toddler's face had Lisbon smiling and reaching for Jolisa's little hand. The girl's frown quickly turned into an amazed smile when her palm came into contact with the round belly. The baby was moving and Lisbon knew that Jojo could feel it. **

"**A baby is in there Jojo. Can you feel her move?" Dark curls bounced as Jolisa nodded in excitement. "She's gonna be here soon."**

"**Now?"**

"**No, not now but soon."**


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**A/N: Well guys, I want to thank everyone for reviewing, I sent you all thank you messages but if you reviewed anonymously, this is my thanks. :) I have internet again which means I'm in the mood to write. So this gets updated first! I'm excited about having over a thousand reviews, I never thought this story would catch on so well and I'd like to thank everyone who reads this. **

**Thanks: Kat, torchwood456789, DCG, Aussie, Danni Teresa Jane Gaga, and JaneDoe for your anonymous reviews. So I hope you guys love this chapter. I do.**

The sun was shining, which wasn't a rare thing. It was warm out which also wasn't exactly rare and it was a Wednesday. Those came around often enough. What made this day so different was the fact that there was a very important visitor, more like two important visitors, seated on Lisbon's office couch. Normally Jane was the one occupying her couch, sometimes she'd venture out and occupy his but on this day, it wasn't Jane. It was her brother Jon and he certainly was not himself. He was shaken up, she could easily tell – anyone could – and he was clutching his daughter as if she'd disappear the second he let her go.

For several moments, she let him breathe deeply and just sit but it finally got to the point where he literally hadn't said one word in half an hour and she was curious. She didn't want to get irritated with him since something had clearly brought him there but her pregnancy hormones always made her frustrated at the tiniest things. Lately it'd been even worse, she was constantly irritated about something. In fact, she'd been arguing with an inanimate object just moments before her brother's arrival. The chair she was seated in just wasn't doing to suit her and her well defined round stomach. She was still struggling with it, her back was killing her and without hesitation, she stood to make her way over to where her brother resided.

It took a moment for her to comfortably sink down onto the cushions but once she did, she let one hand rest on Jon's back and the other cover her own midsection. He looked down to watch her fingers rub against the bulge in her middle and Jolisa's gaze followed. Both seemed content to stare at her belly but she wanted to know what was going on and why he looked as though he'd burst into tears at any moment.

"Jon, what's wrong? You've been sitting here for twenty minutes, you never come to my work so don't try to tell me that things are okay." It had been years since she'd seen him cry and the second a tear trailed down his cheek, she scooted closer to him on the couch to gently wipe the wetness away. "Remember when we were younger and every time we cried Mom would wipe our tears, kiss each cheek, and tell us she loved us?"

"Yeah, and after she died you would do it." Giving him a warm smile, she gave a nod and leaned over to kiss him on each cheek. Just like she did so long ago, like their mother had, except this time Lisbon also reached towards the surprisingly quiet toddler in his arms.

"I love you Jon. Please tell me what's wrong." She settled Jolisa between them since the little one wouldn't fit in her lap with her belly sticking out and waited for her brother to say something. Anything that could clue her in on what was going on.

"Can Jojo and I stay with you and Patrick for a few days?" She almost asked about Jon's wife, Brandi, and that's when it hit her. If he was in town with just Jolisa and crying in her office there were probably only a few things that could have happened.

"Of course you can. You can stay as long as you need to, we have plenty of room at the house." Five bedrooms was surely enough space. She'd confirm it with Jane later, she was too busy trying to get to the bottom of things and she knew he wouldn't mind.

"Okay, I just don't know what to do yet." Her worst fear had been confirmed before he ever whispered out the words. "I caught her with someone else, Tessa."

Lisbon knew they'd talk more when there wasn't little ears listening in so she didn't push for anything more. She simply closed her eyes, let out a breath and tried to calm the anger that was beginning to rip through her. Her baby brother was hurting because of a woman he loved. Just like that, she was suddenly in protective angry sister mode – no actually, it was angry pregnant sister mode. Which just made it worse but she wouldn't interfere. He could handle it, he was hurt but she knew he was angry too.

"I'd love to have you stay with us until you get things sorted out. In fact, I insist. Jojo will love playing in the yard. Won't you sweetheart?" The toddler seemed to be fixated with the pregnant belly adorning her beloved aunt but Lisbon was simply trying to lighten the mood before they both ended up in tears.

"Esa, tummy big?" The completely perplexed look on the toddler's face had Lisbon smiling and reaching for Jolisa's little hand. The girl's confused frown quickly turned into an amazed smile when her palm came into contact with the round belly. The baby was moving and Lisbon knew that Jojo could feel it.

"A baby is in there Jojo. Can you feel her move?" Dark curls bounced as Jolisa nodded in excitement. "She's gonna be here soon."

"Now?"

"No, not now but soon." The adults shared a smile at the toddler's innocence as Jon too placed his hand on his sister's stomach. It was a distraction technique and it worked for the moment only because Bear was kicking up a storm. "She's active today, painfully so."

"You okay?"

"My organs are being used as target practice Jon, it's not comfortable but yes, I'm fine." The baby wasn't a fan of having anything pressed against her and the longer there were hands resting on Lisbon's stomach, the more she wiggled and kicked.

"How far along are you?"

"Thirty-five weeks, almost thirty-six. She doesn't move as much now unless provoked." Her brother removed his hand with a smile but two smaller hands remained and the little girl they belonged to seemed absolutely transfixed.

"Have you settled on a name?"

"No. Patrick is difficult and we can't agree on anything but the middle name." She'd told each of her brothers months ago that her little girl would have their mother's middle name.

"Are you sure it's Patrick that's being difficult, sis?" Lisbon was just about to playfully smack her brother's shoulder when she heard the door whoosh open. She quickly looked up, already knowing there was only one person who barged in without knocking and sure enough, Jane entered. He hadn't known she had company, he'd been off on a case when they arrived and the look on his face at seeing Jon and Jolisa was one of slight surprise.

"Well hello, I didn't know my favorite niece was here." If he noticed the underlying solemn mood, and Lisbon knew he did, he didn't let on. Probably for the sake of the little one who still had her hands on her aunt's belly.

"Jon and Jojo are going to stay with us for a little while." She wasn't asking, she was telling and she knew that he wouldn't mind but apparently Jon wasn't so sure.

"If it's okay with you, of course."

"Absolutely." Lisbon had known he'd agree. He knew better than to question it when she was already a raging mess of hormones. It helped somewhat that she'd been feeling even worse for a good three days, it meant that he'd been treading even more carefully and agreeing to almost everything she said. "We have plenty of room but we can discuss more of that later. I intend to take my wife to dinner, you're more than welcome to join if you like."

"Actually I think we'll pass, we ate already." Jane simply watched as Jon kissed his sister on the cheek and whispered a thanks. She'd tell him what was going on over dinner, he seemed more interested in the fact that Jolisa climbed down from the couch and toddled over to him. Of course she preferred Jane over her aunt and father. He was magnetic like that and Lisbon knew without a doubt that their little one would be the same. She liked watching him with children, seeing the way his eyes always softened and filled with adoration. He'd get the same look on his face when he talked to her belly or stroked it or even just laid eyes upon it.

"Let me give Jon the key to the house and then we can go."

"Take your time, darling." He lifted Jolisa from the ground as soon as she tugged his pant leg and the other two adults in the room just shook their heads. "What? She wanted up here. Come on Jojo, let's go get a candy bar while these two talk about boring stuff."

Lisbon waited till they were out of the office before turning back to her brother. It struck her as a little odd that he was staring at her with a knowing smile on his face but when he spoke she couldn't agree more.

"He's a great father, you couldn't have picked better Tessa."

"I know. That's one thing I've never doubted but I just hope it's not too much for us right now." She hated that she still let her mind wander to places it shouldn't. She hated that she still thought they weren't quite ready for something as big as a baby but the thoughts always lingered in the back of her mind. She just couldn't help it.

"You'll be a wonderful mother and he'll be an amazing father. That's all your little girl needs." Part of her knew that he was right but another part still worried. She always worried.

"Thank you, Jon." He gave her a nod and pushed himself up from the couch. Lisbon hated getting up but she knew she had to. Preparing for the struggle, she was pleased when he offered her a hand and helped pull her to her feet. "We won't be out too long. All the rooms are empty except ours, the nursery, and the last door on the right. There's a bed and dresser in there, feel free to use anything in the house."

"It's fine. Don't rush because of us."

"To tell you the truth, I'm not hungry and I just want to go to bed. I only agree so he doesn't pester me." A sharp pain shot through her back, making her wince and reach around to the origin of the discomfort. "I will be so happy when she's here and these backaches from hell stop."

She half expected her brother to say something but he didn't. He just smiled a little and took the keys she had offered. There was no sense in wasting time to take the individual house key off of the keyring so she didn't. Instead she gave him all of her keys, including the one to her car.

"The one with tape on it is for the house and you can take my car. I don't have a carseat but..."

"I have ours. It's downstairs, I really didn't want to even hassle getting all of our luggage through security. They said they'd hold it for me." Smiling softly, Lisbon gave a nod and hesitated a moment before she walked out to find Jane and his little bitty accomplice. She could feel her brother following her and it bothered her that he was so quiet. Jon was usually talkative, he generally teased her about something or another. She didn't say anything, he was obviously not feeling like himself and it was completely understandable given the circumstances but it really hurt her to see him like that.

It didn't take long to find her husband and niece. They'd made themselves comfortable on the couch in the bullpen with a chocolate bar in hand. Jane's eyes were inquisitive when he looked over at her and she tilted her head towards the elevator to make it known that she wanted to leave. The longer she saw her brother so sad and dejected, the harder it was getting to contain her emotions. She couldn't deal with stuff like that anymore. When it came to family, she'd do anything to protect them, keep them safe, take away their pain and this was starting to rub her the wrong way. She couldn't take this away. She couldn't have protected him from it and she just wanted to be somewhere else at that point. Thankfully, her smart husband seemed to understand that she needed some space and didn't so much as rest a hand on her back as they walked to the elevator. Instead he waved comically at Jolisa who giggled and waved back from her father's arms. Lisbon was grateful for the quick exit.

Jane was an intellectual although sometimes rather stupid man but he knew when something wasn't right and Lisbon liked that. Well, sometimes she liked it. He was quiet until behind the wheel of his car and as soon as she'd fastened her seatbelt, she knew he was going to start asking questions. Jane could only contain himself for so long before he exploded and she knew that she needed to let him know why they would be having house guests for a little while.

"So, unexpected visit from Jon, huh?"

"Yeah." Just because she knew he needed an explanation didn't mean she was in the right state of mind or mood to give it. She was hoping he just guessed what had happened and she could simply nod yes or shake her head no. The moment the car began to move, her stomach churned and made it obvious that she wasn't going to be eating anything. Between her backache, swollen ankles, stress, and her brother's situation, she didn't want to eat anyway.

"Is that all you're going to tell me?" She couldn't get mad at him. He was just curious but dammit, she wanted to just close her eyes and forget that her brother was experiencing one of the worst heartaches. Just thinking about it made her chest constrict uncomfortably and a knot form in her throat. Jon was a good man, one of the best. He didn't deserve what Brandi did to him, no one deserved such a thing. "Teresa, honey, what's wrong? I didn't mean to upset you."

Her vision had blurred but she hadn't noticed until something wet trailed down her cheek and she heard Jane's voice. She was crying. Great. God, she hated the inability to control herself.

"You didn't." Exhaling a shaky breath, she tried to tell herself that there was no sense in crying over this. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that several things played into the tears spilling down her face. She was frustrated, she was tired, she was angry, she was in pain and she just wanted it to all go away. For just a moment.

Finger interlaced with hers and she tried to offer Jane a reassuring smile but it became a sniffle, so she squeezed his hand instead. He had his eyes on the road but kept glancing at her and she knew she had to suck it up. This was all a part of being pregnant. The overwhelming emotions, the uncomfortable pain.

"Reeses, you know I hate to see you cry."

"Can we go home?" He seemed to contemplate his answer for a long moment, just long enough for her to wipe at her face. "Please."

"Okay. Will you tell me what's wrong?"

"Jon caught Brandi cheating. All I can think about is that he doesn't deserve that, Jojo doesn't deserve that and she's so young, Patrick. How is she ever going to understand why all of a sudden, her mommy and daddy live in different places and daddy's sad all the time?"

"Hey, shhh, just calm down. It's going to be okay. Listen to me Teresa, it's going to be alright."

"I just want to go home. I'm tired, my back is killing me, I'm mad as hell and frustrated and I hate seeing him hurting." The warmth of Jane's hand grew stronger as he tightened his hold and stroked his thumb along her skin. She loved when he touched her, it had a way of being soothing when she needed it and she definitely needed it.

"We'll be home soon. You can take a hot shower and then maybe a nap if you want. I'll make dinner tonight, I'm sure Jon and Jojo could use something home cooked after such an exhausting day." Wiping the remaining wet trails from her cheeks, Lisbon quickly assessed the plan in her head and found it to be exactly what she wanted.

"Thank you Patrick. I'm sorry I'm such a mess, I know you wanted to go out."

"You, my dear, are not a mess. We can go out some other time, we're married. We have plenty of opportunities for dinner and whatnot out on the town." It was true but both were thinking the same thing – even with a home cooked meal, Lisbon wasn't going to eat tonight. She could tell that Jane had been worried about her for the last couple of days and to be honest, she was starting to worry herself. She just didn't feel right.

* * *

Jane was trying to let his wife be. He was trying to calm his worries and resist pestering her into talking to him about why she'd been picking at her food for a couple days. She was stressed, that much he knew and he didn't want to make that worse so he let her retreat for a shower. He let her take her time, content in being able to hear her while he was in the kitchen deciding what to cook.

It wasn't until he heard the front door opening that his attention was drawn away from the task of peeling potatoes to the two people making their way inside. He actually enjoyed the thought of talking to Jon about some things without his feisty expecting wife around.

"Hey, make yourself at home. I'm making dinner."

"I didn't think you two would be back so soon. I took Jojo to the store to get some things." Jane almost commented on the fact that he was a grown man and didn't have to explain himself but he didn't. He could tell the younger man wasn't feeling like himself and that was to be expected. "Where's Tessa?"

"I'm pretty sure she's lying down for a nap." Jolisa wasn't shy, she crawled up in one of the kitchen chairs and even though her face was barely at eye level with the table, she put her hands on the hard surface and was clearly expecting some kind of food to appear. "You hungry?"

At her enthusiastic nod, both men chuckled and joined the little lady for conversation. Holding the little one's attention though wasn't as easy as it seemed. She was soon climbing down and playing under the table while the adults had their boring talk.

"I guess Tessa's been pretty tired lately?"

"Yeah, the baby really takes it out of her. Doesn't help that the woman was an insomniac, at least the pregnancy fixed that."

"Something is bothering you."

"I think something is wrong and she won't tell me." Jane really didn't want to bring Jon into something that he was sure would only make his love a little angry but he wanted to voice his concerns, just to be sure that he wasn't being overprotective, as Lisbon put it. "She hasn't eaten much in the last two days, she just sleeps and I can see that she's uncomfortable."

"Have you talked to her about it?"

"Of course but you know Teresa, she gets defensive and says she's fine, just tired and her back aches." They both definitely knew how defensive the little brunette could get when she didn't want to talk about something. It was just who she was and they loved her for it but sometimes it was frustrating. "Her doctor's appointment is Thursday, I'm gonna talk to her doctor about it whether she likes it or not."

"How about Jojo and I finish up dinner and you go check on your wife. Just talk to her...cautiously, she is pregnant." At first Jane was going to protest but he had to admit that he did want to check on her and it'd be nice if they could have a moment to have a serious talk in the comfort of their home.

"Sure, I just put the potatoes on and the steaks are in the oven. I hadn't decided on a vegetable yet or if I should just prepare a salad."

"I think we've got it under control." Jon knocked on the table top and made the little girl hiding beneath it giggle loudly. "Whattaya say Jojo, do we got it?"

"Got it!"

"Well then, I believe I shall leave you two to it and go check on my lovely wife." Nodding his appreciation as he stood up from the table, Jane thanked Lisbon's brother for the chance and ruffled the dark curls sticking out from under the table. He really couldn't wait until his own little girl was in his arms.

He made his way out of the kitchen, smiling to himself at the sounds of a father and daughter interacting happily. At least Jon wasn't letting what he was going through affect how he acted towards his little girl. In Jane's mind that was the worst thing, when parents forgot that their behavior affected their children in every way possible. The fading giggles were music to his ears all the way up the stairs. Once at the top, he quietly crept towards the cracked door of the master bedroom. If she was sleeping, he wasn't going to wake her. He was only going to crawl in next to her and have a little nap himself and then they could address the issue of her not eating after they were both rested.

Jane was at the door, in the process of pushing it open when he heard the woman he loved whimper slightly. Her back was to him but he could tell that she was asleep. Her shoulders tensed as he made his way into the room and before he could make his way over to her, she was suddenly jerked awake and scrambling to push the blankets away. A look of pure horror took over her face as she sat up and before she realized he was in the room, she screamed his name. Her behavior was enough to send him into a panic as he rushed to her side.

Tears were forming in her eyes as he placed his hands on her cheeks to force her to look at him. Her hair was still wet, clinging to her face and she was wearing nothing more than a shirt and underwear but it didn't turn him on as usual. Something was wrong.

"Sweetheart, tell me what's wrong? What is it?" Her lips moved but the only thing that came out was a strangled sob. Her hands pushed the blanket away from her lap, her eyes dropped too and that's when he followed her gaze. The second he saw the puddle of fluid between her legs, his heart leaped into his throat. No words could be formed but she was so panicked that he knew the answer to his next question before he ever asked. "That wasn't an accident by any chance, was it? You know, like maybe Bear kicked your bladder a little too hard?"

He was attempting to get a smile, anything, but she slumped into his arms before he could see if it'd worked. Part of him knew it hadn't. Rubbing her back and kissing every part of her face that he could, Jane tried to think. He didn't know what the hell was going on but he was scared. It was perfectly clear that she was too and they needed to call the hospital. No, they needed to go to the hospital.

"Shh, Teresa."

"...too soon. Patrick it's too soon." It looked as though that didn't matter. Her water had broke. That much was made clear when she tried to stand and another rush of liquid trickled down her legs. His heart was aching, not knowing what made this happen and seeing her cry the entire time she changed her clothes almost made him breakdown but he had to be strong for her. He had to show her that everything would be okay. God, he hoped everything was okay. People had babies earlier than this and they turned out to be okay. Bear would be fine. He used that thought to get him through the ride to the hospital.

**a/n: I know that's a terrible place to leave off, I'm sorry guys! But I wanted the next chapter to be by itself because it's so important. Anyway, since I based Lisbon's pregnancy on my sister's and she gave birth at almost 36 weeks, I thought what the heck, Lisbon can too. **

**Next: "Is she gonna be okay?" **

"**She's not showing any signs of distress at the moment, right now our priority is to let you have the delivery you want. We'll know more once she's here." The words were supposed to be encouraging but neither Jane nor Lisbon found them to be. Neither of them were very patient when it came to something such as this. "You're already two centimeters dilated and your contractions aren't very strong at all. We're gonna start you on pitocin to help things along."**

**All of it sounded scary to Lisbon but she trusted them. She had to, or she'd end up a blubbering mess again and that wouldn't do the baby any good. **


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: Um, nope. If I owned it there would definitely be action between Jane and Lisbon.**

**A/N: Check out that quick update. I felt bad for the cliffhanger ending of the last chapter so I typed this one up. I hope everyone can enjoy this chapter for what it's meant to be. I jumped around a little, otherwise it would've been extremely long and boring. I didn't go too into detail since I know some people are weirded out by labor. **

**Thanks to Kat, Aussie, amanda, lisbon69, Alli, Melanie, Skyla and Hip Kip for your anonymous reviews. :)**

It felt like years but Lisbon knew it hadn't been. She knew that she hadn't been lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to all kinds of machines for all that long. The bustle around her had calmed a little since she first arrived but it was still persistent and she had no idea if that was a good thing or not. No one had really told them anything, just admitted her and started poking and prodding. Jane was the only constant, holding steadfastly to her hand the whole time. He was literally the only thing keeping her from being in tears again. As soon as she could find the words, she asked them.

"Is she gonna be okay?"

"She's not showing any signs of distress at the moment, right now our priority is to let you have the delivery you want. We'll know more once she's here." The words were supposed to be encouraging but neither Jane nor Lisbon found them to be. Neither of them were very patient when it came to something such as this. "You're already two centimeters dilated and your contractions aren't very strong at all. We're gonna start you on pitocin to help things along."

All of it sounded scary to Lisbon but she trusted them. She had to, or she'd end up a blubbering mess again and that wouldn't do the baby any good. She just wanted her daughter to be okay. She knew there were babies born a lot earlier than this and they survived but it didn't make her feel any better. The motherly instinct was kicking up, making her fear the worst. Nothing would make her feel better until she knew without a doubt that her child was fine and healthy. No statistics, nothing. Although, she'd admit that her husband's reassuring presence and occasional kisses were helping a little.

She stroked a hand over her belly as the nurse brought in a bag for the IV, she was guessing that it was the stuff they were giving her to help jump-start labor. When the woman told her as much, she simply nodded and waited until they were alone again before tugging Jane's arm until he was leaning over her. She wanted him close, as close as he could be, heck, she wouldn't protest if he climbed into the bed with her. She figured he knew as much by the way she clung to his arm. When she didn't let up for a good thirty minutes despite their silence, he brushed her hair from her face and squeezed her fingers.

"I'm not going anywhere Teresa."

"I know. I just...Patrick we don't have a name." The thought hadn't struck her until right then but it hit hard. It was probably the silliest thing she could think of at a time like this but it now felt as though they were running out of time. She wanted to occupy her mind with something and picking a name seemed like the perfect distraction for a little while. "We need to choose something."

"Okay, what's the first thing that just popped into your head?"

"Madison, but I want something unique. Something that will fit her and is pretty." That was her way of nicely saying that while she liked the name Madison, it wasn't the right one for their baby. He smiled, a warm brilliant smile at her and she tried her best to return it. She was growing more uncomfortable, she was starting to notice her contractions now. She hadn't really felt them earlier and she knew that it was only the beginning.

"Why don't you relax and just think on it, okay? You should try to nap." Lisbon opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off with a soft kiss. She let her lips follow his lead, needing the touch and just when she thought the kiss would deepen, she felt her first sharp contraction. He knew the moment she jerked away, why she'd done it. Everything was starting to make it seem real, they were going to be parents.

When her muscles relaxed, Jane softened his gaze and tried to think of something that would lift her spirits. He'd already asked if she wanted to see anyone but she didn't. She had told him that she only wanted him there, she didn't want anyone else to visit her until the baby was born. He knew it was because of the premature delivery and he respected her decision but he'd still notified everyone and he was more than positive that they were probably in the waiting room despite him telling them it'd be awhile. He knew her brother was, the man was just as worried as they were. Jane decided he'd check and update him soon. The team was definitely out there too, he just knew it.

It took everything he had to watch his wife be miserable but he knew the reward would be great so he sat by her side, rubbing her arm, her shoulder, her back. He touched her at all times, knowing that she needed the contact from him. His heart broke when she looked at him with her green eyes filled with fear.

"Patrick, do you think Bear's really okay?" Instead of offering words that he couldn't promise to be true, Jane told her something that was.

"I love you Teresa, even if you get irritable and tell all the nurses something embarrassing about me, even if you yell and swear you hate me just know that I won't hold it against you." Finally her lips tilted upwards in a genuine smirk and his heart swelled. Her hair had dried in waves, wild waves that fit her personality and it was probably his favorite way to see her. Hair a mess and no make-up. She was undeniably gorgeous.

"You are probably one of the sweetest men in the world and you're also a complete pain in the ass but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not gonna swear that I hate you just because I'm pushing something the size of a small watermelon out of my va -"

"Okay, let's not get graphic."

"Oh come on, really? You're going to witness the whole thing in a matter of hours and I'm pretty sure it's awfully graphic." His million dollar smile slipped into place at her mercilessly teasing tone.

"There she is. There's my Reeses." She rolled her eyes at his use of her nickname but was no doubt grateful that he'd managed to distract her. The more she thought about it, the more it sunk in. Bear was on her way. She wasn't going to be pregnant for much longer. "I'm sure Bear will be perfect. I think she's just impatient like her mother and doesn't want to wait around any more."

"I am not impatient."

"Whatever you say." As long as he teased, she seemed to let some of her anxiety slip away so he continued but a sharp contraction seized hold of her before she could say anything more. He stroked her hair and did the only thing either of them could, wait. When she let out a shaky breath and relaxed back into the bed, he gently squeezed her fingers.

"Are you sure you don't want anything for pain?"

"I'm sure. It's only going to get worse, isn't it?" Despite that Jane knew she was asking a rhetorical question, he couldn't stop himself from nodding. "Fantastic. Next time, you're having the baby."

"Next time? You want more?" She had genuinely just shocked him. Stunned him into being incapable of thinking coherently. They'd never talked about it before but he figured this was as good of a time as any and it'd keep them from worrying in silence.

"Ask me again after this little one joins the world and we know for sure if she's healthy." They decided to worry when the time came, and just hope for the best until then but it was hard to push something so life changing to the back of your mind. Obviously it was easier said than done but they managed some light conversation and some jokes between her contractions. He had really hoped she'd manage a little bit of rest, just some sleep to build up her strength but the more time that passed, the more he realized that just wasn't going to happen. Between nurses coming in and out and her growing discomfort, she couldn't keep still. She was restless, filled with anxiety, and contractions were regular.

In just a short while, they were stronger too, lasting longer and making her change positions frequently. He hoped that his presence was comforting to her in some way because no matter how badly he wanted to ease her discomfort, he couldn't. He knew by the way that her left foot was shaking that she was in quite a bit of pain but she never asked for anything. Nurses asked every time they came in and she always told them she was fine, always denied anything to numb the pain. They'd never actually talked much about it but he'd just assumed she'd take the drugs, he should have known better. This was Lisbon. It was the same woman who wouldn't take anything for a headache until it was to the point of affecting her work. He didn't say anything though, if she wanted a natural birth then that was her decision. The more time that passed, the quieter she got, the more she tried to scrunch into a ball, and the more a few tears trailed down her cheeks. He hated seeing her in pain, her face gave her away. He knew she was trying to be strong but her brow was furrowed, her eyes shut, and her lips were pushed together in a thin line.

He did everything he could think of, stroked her hair, her belly, her back when she was sitting up but he felt helpless. He couldn't do anything to actually make it easier on her. He remembered the feeling from his first daughter's birth and he still hated it just as much. The woman he loved was suffering and it hurt him to watch. He wouldn't leave her though. Never would he leave her. She made it clear that she wasn't one for vocalizing her pain, she was mostly quiet except for the groan or moan that came with the strong contractions but he had to give it to her, the woman was outstanding. She was amazing.

About six hours after they'd arrived at the hospital, he could tell that something was different. Lisbon hand gripped his so hard his fingers turned purple. She sucked in a deep breath, let out a strangled sob and said something that had him out of his chair and calling for a nurse.

"She's coming now." He believed her, he believed that she knew, however the new grouchy nurse did not and wasn't entirely convinced. It took Jane a few moments to get her to come to the room but eventually she relented. He was persuasive when he wanted to be.

"Now Teresa, I know you're in pain but the nurse on the last shift checked you before she left and you were only dilated to five." Jane watched as his wife threw the woman a nasty look. She never took kindly to people questioning her.

"I don't give a damn. She's coming now, I can feel her." The grumpy old woman probably only agreed to check her again to prove her wrong but as soon as her eyes widened and she peered between Lisbon's legs, her tune changed. Jane's chest swelled with pride, _take that ya old grump_. His wife knew what she was talking about.

"I was wrong. You're ready to push, she's right here. I'll page the doctor." The next several minutes seemed to pass as slowly as the ones that led to this. People flooded the room, just as they had upon Lisbon being admitted but this time for a different reason. Jane didn't care about the people though, he cared that his Teresa was in constant unbearable pain and that she was staring up at him with fear in her eyes. He didn't know how to reassure her about this part but he did his best by placing a kiss on her head and wiping the tears from her cheeks. The mood in the room lifted a little as soon as their doctor walked in.

"Hey, are you two ready to be parents?" Lisbon managed a smile but everyone knew that with the baby being born premature, there could be complications. "Alright Teresa, with your next contraction I want you to bear down and push as hard you can, okay?"

Jane made sure he was out of the way but still able to keep a hand on Lisbon's back as well as her thigh. His heart was racing out of his chest and it seemed to only speed up when her next contraction hit and she started to push. It seemed all too close, he was about to be a father again. Teresa Lisbon was giving birth to his daughter. It was overwhelming, dizzying almost to think about. His attention was pulled to the 'what ifs' that could potentially be reality for their premature baby but he fought to stay focused. He didn't want his mind elsewhere when his beautiful baby entered the world.

The doctor used words to praise Lisbon, Jane used touch to show he was there, and Lisbon kept up her duties as diligently as she did anything. Jane couldn't say how long she'd been pushing but he didn't think it was too long, although if he asked her she'd probably strongly disagree. He took to counting along with the nurse each time she pushed and rubbing her thigh or back each time she leaned back for a breath. He was speechless, he was watching his baby be born. He probably had a smile on his face and didn't know it but he knew the moment his world stopped spinning.

"One more push and you'll meet your daughter." The encouragement did nothing for his wife, Jane could tell. She was emotionally exhausted as well as physically at this point but she was a trooper. She didn't complain, only gritted her teeth and waited for the next contraction. When it hit she repeated what she'd been doing for a good fifteen minutes but this time a loud groan ripped from her throat.

The woman had never been more beautiful and when she slumped back against the pillow, he kissed her forehead as a cry pierced the air. Bear was here, now they just needed to know if she was healthy. The squirming screaming baby was placed on his exhausted wife's chest and that's when it was real. They were responsible for the tiny little girl and Jane felt a tear slide down. Lisbon was holding onto her daughter, kissing her head, and whispering soothing words. It was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen her do. And he'd watched her take down men twice her size but seeing her with his, their, baby in her arms topped it all. He stroked the itty bitty hand with tiny fingers before they had him cut the cord. A few minutes passed in blissful ignorance, neither of them paying any attention to the doctor still between her legs and then they took his daughter to be checked over, weighed, and measured.

In that moment, he knew that the woman lying beside him was going through all the possibilities in her head, things that could be wrong, things that both of them were scared of. He held onto his love, his grip firm and gentle as the minutes ticked by. Their baby's weight was called out, five pounds even. She looked tiny. They measured her, fifteen inches long. They checked her eyes, her lungs, everything and when she was properly swaddled they brought her back. She was crying and Lisbon was hesitant in reaching for her, unsure of what to think but the moment she pulled her into her chest, the little one quieted down.

"She's small but she's breathing on her own quite well. Congrats." There was an immense flood of relief that spread between them and Jane pressed his mouth to Lisbon's temple. She tipped her head back to look at him and he took the opportunity to kiss her lips and whisper a 'thank you'.

"She looks like you, Teresa." The cap was covering it now but the little one had a head full of dark hair. Her eyes were that deep blue, almost black that most babies were born with but Jane was certain she'd be the spitting image of her mother with green eyes and dark curls.

"She's so little."

"She's ours." A smile toyed at Lisbon's lips as she nodded. "And she's beautiful."

"Can we name her Aubry?" The name flowed gently through the air and while it wasn't something that Jane would have ever thought of he gave it a try by reciting it a couple of times.

"Aubry Rose Jane. Aubry Rose Jane..."

"I don't know where I've heard it but I think it's pretty." He looked at the baby they'd made and then at his wife and he knew that 'Bear' had just become Aubry Rose.

"It's very pretty and so are both of my girls."

"Stop it. I'm sure I look like a mess, I feel pretty gross." He couldn't wipe the grin off of his face and the fact that she thought he was just making jokes, made him smile even bigger. The woman was delusional if she thought the scene before his eyes wasn't absolutely gorgeous. He'd hoped she was able to ease her way through the end of labor and cleanup and their little girl was the perfect distraction.

"Well you're a beautiful mess." The roll of her eyes only pleased him more. She was in a good mood, ecstatic, completely over the moon and she hadn't taken her eyes away from their baby for more than a second since the little one had been placed in her arms. He couldn't peel his gaze from either of them.

Soon they were the only ones left in the room and it wasn't until then that it occurred to the new mother that they weren't the only people waiting for Bear to make her appearance. She looked over at her husband and suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to express her feelings before their moment became a family event. She'd blame the sappiness of what she was about to say on the fact that there was a precious gift in her arms and he'd helped give it to her.

"Patrick, I wasn't sure we were ready for a baby but holding her feels right." Jane pressed his lips to Lisbon's nose and waited for her to continue her speech while resting a hand on his sleeping child's head. He knew she wasn't done. "She might have been a surprise to begin with and a surprise now but I think we did good. Look how beautiful our little Bear is."

Lisbon let her hand bunch in the collar of Jane's shirt as she tugged him in for a loving, warm kiss. Aubry fussed a little when she pulled away but settled down the second Jane ran his finger along her forehead and down her nose. He wanted to hold her but he didn't want to take the moment away from his wife so he chose to be patient. It wasn't long until she was glancing over at him with a smirk on her face and he wondered if perhaps his lovely other half was beginning to develop her own mentalist abilities.

"Patrick, I can see that you're itching to hold her."

"I'm letting you take your time."

"We have forever now," Without hesitation, Lisbon gently maneuvered Aubry towards her father. "here, hold your baby girl."

Jane didn't have to be told twice and reached towards his baby with slightly shaking hands. It didn't matter that he'd been a father once before, it was still exciting to hold a newly born bundle of joy. A burst of pride spread through his body, from his head all the way down to his toes when he had his baby in his arms and she was wiggling and letting out a yawn. He stared at her in amazement, he held her close to his face and studied all of her features, memorizing each one. Her ears definitely looked like his but he was pretty sure the cute little nose came from her mother.

Some of her dark locks were sticking out from beneath her cap and he chanced a glance back to Lisbon to see if she was staring at him as he had been at her. She was but her eyes were heavy and there was a sleepy smile on her face. He didn't tell her to rest, he knew she wouldn't until she was ready. Instead he looked back at his daughter and let his thoughts roam to the guests who were still out in the waiting room. He'd sent a mass text to let them know when Aubry was born but he hadn't invited them back yet, surely they'd understand the need for some bonding time with just the three of them.

"Patrick..." She sounded so tired. "We should let everybody come and see her. I'm getting really sleepy and she'll need to be fed soon I suspect."

"Sure. I'll go let everyone know." He didn't necessarily want to stop holding his daughter but he knew that they couldn't stay in their little bubble forever. A nurse came in to give the baby her first bath just as he handed Aubry back to Lisbon and left the room to find his friends.

* * *

Cho, Rigsby, Van Pelt and Jon were all waiting patiently in the uncomfortable chairs and it wasn't until he saw how tired they looked that he realized it was after midnight. He wasn't surprised they'd stayed or that Jolisa was curled up asleep in her father's lap but he was a bit surprised that they all perked up immediately upon seeing him, well, all of them except the snoozing toddler.

"How's Tessa doin'?" Jon was the first to inquire and he immediately wanted to know about his sister.

"She's great, amazing, and she wants you all to come meet our new addition to the family." It really didn't connect in his brain that he hadn't told them the baby's name or anything really important, just that she was healthy and five pounds, fifteen inches. "The baby is getting her first bath right now, so she'll probably be a little fussy when we get there."

Van Pelt was the first to jump up at his words, although he figured if Jon wasn't holding a sleeping child he would have been right there with her. He didn't say much as they followed him back to the room but he could tell that his followers were barely containing their excitement. Even Cho.

He held the door open, letting Jon and Jojo in first. He heard Lisbon's soft 'hello' as everyone else shuffled in. The nurse was gone but Jane knew from experience that it took only minutes to bathe a baby. Lisbon held their little girl at an angle so everybody could see and the words that came out of her mouth, made Jane one very proud father.

"I want all of you to meet Aubry Rose Jane." There was no denying that Jon wanted to hold the baby and out of understanding, Jane reached for the sleeping toddler so that Jon could hold his niece. A smile lit up the man's face and it became clear that this had been just the thing to take his mind off of the mess he was going through.

"She's beautiful sis." It quickly turned into 'pass the baby around', going from Jon to Grace who cooed over Aubry with a bright smile adorning her face.

"Oh my goodness, she's so small." Jane couldn't help but think that Rigsby needed to take that hint and make the woman happy but he kept that opinion to himself. Not because he wanted to but because even a tired Teresa Lisbon could give him that look that told him not to say a word. "Boss, she's perfect."

"Thanks Grace." Lisbon's eyes were getting heavier by the minute and Jane knew she'd end up falling asleep before everyone had held their baby. He was proven right, the longer Van Pelt held Aubry, the harder Lisbon struggled. It only took about five minutes before she was breathing deeply. He stood by her side, still holding the sleeping Jolisa as Grace handed the baby to Rigsby, and made sure he could manage with a broken wrist. It was almost comical how small Aubry looked whilst being held by such a big man. It had them smiling, even Cho who seemed a little hesitant to have his turn. Jane had to make sure he held Aubry, he wanted pictures of each of them holding her. He also wanted someone to take a picture of him with his two girls, but one was sleeping and he didn't want to disturb her until necessary.

"Your turn Cho, come on, Teresa would want you to hold her." Jane didn't say anything else but he was sure it would mean a lot to his wife if one of her closest friends held her daughter.

"She's too small."

"You can't break her Cho." The man refused once more and Jon ended up holding her again. It took Jane a minute but he managed to carefully place Jolisa in the bed next to her aunt so he could find the camera. It was too cute the way they both automatically snuggled into each other. Once the camera was in his hand, he snapped a quick picture of the two sleeping beauties before having Jon smile and pose with Aubry. He'd get one of each of them if it killed him.

The visitors stayed for about thirty minutes and right up until merely three minutes before they decided to let Lisbon sleep, Cho finally reached for Aubry. Jane knew he wouldn't last, the man was soft whether he ever showed it or not. It was good to see everyone, let them meet the new family member and talk for a little while but he was glad when they walked out. When Jon had carefully extracted his daughter from Lisbon, it'd caused both girls to stir. Jolisa hadn't really known what to think but she was happy to see her 'Esa'. She seemed a little confused about the baby but they'd left in a hurry as soon as Lisbon woke enough to realize she'd fallen asleep in the first place. It'd be easier once to introduce the young ones and let them get used to each other when they were all home.

Once again alone, Jane held his daughter in his arms as his wife rubbed at her eyes vigorously. He wished she'd fall back asleep but the moment she spoke, he knew it wouldn't happen.

"You should've woke me."

"Honey, you're exhausted. They understood that, no need to be embarrassed about it." He could tell that she wanted to say something but he cut her off. "You should really go back to sleep, you only managed about a half hour."

"I'm fine. Has she been fussing?"

"Not at all, she's content and she's wide awake right now." He pressed his lips to the soft chubby cheek of his baby before handing her to her mother.

"Should I try feeding her?" It took a few seconds for Jane to say anything due to the fact that he was too busy reaching for the camera. She protested with a groan but he ignored her and snapped a picture anyway.

"You can try, see if she's hungry."

"Do you want to help? I mean, I thought maybe you'd...never mind." Needing no further explanation Jane reached forward and gently moved the cloth covering her breast. He knew what she was trying to say. She wanted the special moment to include him. It was incredibly sweet. His eyes never left hers as he granted himself a quick stroke over her nipple. "Patrick, I just gave birth and you're already feeling me up?"

"I figure that's as much action as I'm getting for the next several weeks." She smiled at him, showing her dimple before returning her gaze to Aubry. They both positioned the baby's head and waited to see if she'd latch on. It took a few moments but finally her mouth found the right spot and Lisbon startled at the sensation. Engrossed completely in the act of breastfeeding, she didn't notice until it was too late that Jane had snapped another picture.

"Hey!"

"Calm down, we're not gonna show the world." The noises coming from their daughter had smiles on both of their faces. It was late, they were both tired but they were parents. It'd taken a lot for them to reach this point but they had. When Lisbon scooted over, Jane took it as his cue to join her. The bed was small, making it almost impossible but they managed. He pulled her closer without disturbing Aubry and let his mouth capture hers. She'd made him the happiest man, she'd given him a second chance at life, at being a husband and father.

"I love you."

"You better." Her tone was playful and sleepy which happened to be one of his favorites. He just loved when she was tired, she was always easy to banter with. "Oh by the way, next time, you're definitely having the baby."

"I don't have the necessary equipment, darling."

**a/n: Well I hope it was everything you guys wanted. :) I had fun typing it and picking a name. It's now my bed time.**

**Next: "Lisbon called, said she'd tried calling you multiple times but kept getting voicemail."**

"**She and Aubry okay?"**

"**Well..." That one word sent Jane's mind racing and made his heart pound.**


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer: After the new episode, I'm glad that I don't own The Mentalist because I couldn't have made it that awesome.**

**A/N: There's so much going on these days. I think this is officially the weirdest summer of my life (so far). But you don't want to hear about all that, you want to read another chapter of this epically long beast, am I right? Thought so. I bet you guys are excited to read about baby Aubry. I do want to let you know why the updates have been so random and late. I don't have internet and now I don't even have a computer; it died. But I'm borrowing my moms laptop and using my neighbors internet for now. So I spend most of my day playing Sims3 now and I'll admit that I made the entire CBI team...My love of this show is hopeless lol. This one is a little shorter than normal for this story but it's also a bunch of Jane/Lisbon/Aubry moments that I felt deserved a whole chapter of their own. Now onto the new chapter.**

**I dedicate this to Austin, my best friend. No matter what it costs me, I'll be here for you. I'm the Lisbon to your Jane.**

It was hard and Jane really didn't enjoy the thought but it was his first day back at work, first day without Lisbon and his baby. He never thought he'd miss them quite so much considering he'd seen them before he left the house but he did. He tried to remember if he felt this way years ago when leaving Angela and Charlotte but he wasn't sure he had. He wasn't the same man back then and he had new fears when he left Lisbon and their daughter. The fear of losing them. He only took a week off, that meant he had five more before he'd work alongside his wife again if she was cleared at her checkup.

"You miss them." Pulled back into reality by her voice, Jane turned towards the woman driving and gave her a curious stare. He had a sort of soft spot for Madeleine Hightower, she was interesting. "Teresa and the baby?"

"Yeah, I do." He wasn't going to deny something like that. He missed them terribly and it was only noon. He was used to having his wife around at all times. She was always in her office or even on his couch. She'd taken to his couch in the last couple of months and now he was lost without her. "Reeses wanted me to thank you for visiting the hospital and to apologize for her sleeping through it."

"She needed the rest, I'm sure." That was an understatement. After a night of the team visiting, a baby, and nurses bothering them Jane was surprised they both weren't still sleeping a week later. Of course Aubry didn't really give them that luxury, not that he'd ever trade his little Bear for anything. "You call her Reeses? I bet she _loves_ that."

He should have known that Hightower would pick up on his slip and for his own sake he hoped she'd keep that bit of information between them. It'd be great if his wife didn't find out that her boss knew about his favorite nickname for her. However, he couldn't hide the fond smile that graced his features as the thought of her cheeks turning bright red flooded his mind.

"I like to think she adores it."

"I'm sure you do." His nonchalant shrug went unnoticed by Hightower who kept her eyes on the road but he didn't seem to care. He had no qualms about talking to the woman, after all, he knew Lisbon wouldn't mind...much. Well she might not like the topic but he knew she respected and actually got along with her boss quite well now days. "I bet you've already talked to her at least four times."

"Uh, no actually I haven't." Thinking of how strange that seemed, Jane reached for his phone in his pocket and pulled it out. The screen was dark and his brow furrowed. He pressed the button to turn it on despite the fact that he didn't remember turning it off. Nothing happened. The screen stayed black and he let out a small growl of frustration. "Well that would be why, the battery seems to have failed me."

"You can use mine if you want to call and check in."

"Thank you Madeleine, that's very nice of you but I'm sure she's fine. She has her brother and her niece there to keep her company." He wanted to take her up on that offer but he also knew that if he had the chance he'd call and call and then his dear wife would become annoyed. It was normal that he was so worried though, at least he thought it was. Given his past circumstances, then yes, he was certain that is was perfectly alright to worry.

* * *

The moment that Jane waltzed into the bullpen, he knew something was amiss. He didn't say anything though; he knew the answer would come to him. He just sat down on his couch with a loud sigh and waited. It took only a second for Cho to look up and break the silence he had walked into.

"Lisbon called, said she'd tried calling you multiple times but kept getting voicemail."

"She and Aubry okay?"

"Well..." That one word sent Jane's mind racing and made his heart pound. "Lisbon's fine but she's freaking out about Aubry. I couldn't hear her very well due to the baby crying. She has some lungs."

Aubry didn't cry. She whimpered sometimes, yelled a little when she was unhappy or hungry - he didn't blame her for that - but she wasn't one to actually scream. The only time he'd heard her cry was when she made her way into the world. In fact, she seemed to take everything rather calmly. Even the doctor had noticed. He should have taken Hightower up on her offer, he should have called to check in. Without missing a beat, he made a decision. There was no way he could make it through the day now.

"May I see your phone? Mine seems to have flunked out on me." Without batting a lash, Cho handed him his phone. It was probably due to the fact that if something was wrong, Lisbon would kill them both. With the technology in hand, Jane scrolled through the contacts until he found his wife's name. He quickly pressed the call button and waited as it rang through. One ring. Two. Three and then the frantic voice of Lisbon.

_"Did you get ahold of Jane?"_ He would have smiled and made some joke if he hadn't heard the sound of his child screaming her little lungs out.

"It's me."

_"Thank God. Why didn't you answer - no doesn't matter. Patrick, she just keeps crying. I've tried everything."_ It was heartbreaking for him to hear the way her voice wavered. She was obviously upset, he could tell that she was either in tears or awfully close to it.

"How long has she been crying?"

_"About three hours. I didn't exactly time her but I'm on my way to the hospital. I called her doctor and he said to bring her in if she cried more than three hours."_ He figured she was in a car before she ever said anything. He knew his wife and he knew that she wouldn't just listen to Aubry cry. _"I think she might be colicky and her doctor mentioned it too but I thought you might know a way to get her to calm down."_

"Take a deep breath, anxiety is only going to make her worse." He had a couple questions and a few ideas. "Pull over."

_"What?"_

"Trust me. Just pull over, I need you to get her out of her carseat." He waited, listening as Lisbon talked to Aubry to try and calm her. It didn't work but he knew she was just trying to deal with her own worries. He didn't say anything until he heard her get out of the car and open the back door. As soon as he heard his baby girl, louder than before, he was pretty sure he could help.

_"Now what do I do? Shhh, Aubry, momma's gotcha."_

"Does she calm down at all when you hold her?"

_"No, she screams louder sometimes. Thanks for making me feel like an awful mother." _Jane tried not to take it to personally, Lisbon was rather snippy. She just wanted to make her baby feel better. He was about ninety percent sure her theory was right but he was still worried enough to have some doubts.

"Sit down, place her on your knees tummy down, and rub her back." He heard Lisbon shift around and the crying become more of a background than directly in his ear. "While doing that, why don't you tell me what you'd like for dinner."

_"I don't care about dinner right now and you shouldn't either."_

"Humor me, please?"

_"Anything is fine."_ He gave a sigh of frustration to show her that it was important to him. It really wasn't but he needed her to calm down. _"Okay, I'm sorry. Maybe lasagna or some type of pasta. I'm kind of in a pasta mood but we should ask Jon and Jojo."_

"Where are they? I know he would have helped so I'm assuming he isn't at the house." Jane wasn't in a bragging mood but he did smile as he noticed the crying had grown much quieter.

_"He went apartment and job hunting with Jojo. I sent him a text but I was more concerned with talking to you." _He heard her stifle a yawn and imagined the cute look on her face as she spoke again. _"I think it's working."_

"Honestly, I wasn't sure it would. All babies are different but I knew it would help if you took your mind off of it and calmed down."

_"She's just whimpering now but I'm going to go ahead and take her to her doctor just in case." _He would have suggested she continue with the plan to take Aubry to the doctor, if she hadn't brought it up. He wanted to know for sure what was wrong with his usually quiet daughter.

"I can meet you there."

_"No, stay and solve the case. If it's anything remotely serious I'll call and demand you come."_

"Teresa..."

_"Patrick, she's almost asleep and this is the quietest she's been in hours. You've already proven that you're a great father and I promise to keep you updated." _Jane knew that she was feeling inadequate even if she wasn't going to admit to it so he'd give her this one and later, when they were alone he'd confront her. He'd prove to her that she was too hard on herself.

"Alright. If she starts up again before you get there try singing or turn the radio on, noise can be soothing." He waited until she agreed before he hung up and tossed the phone back to Cho. To be completely honest, he was more worried about how Lisbon was doing. She'd obviously been upset and he'd sensed that she was more than disappointed in herself for not being able to calm her own child.

Lying back on his couch, Jane stared up at Elvis and tried to put his mind at ease. There were only a few more hours left before he could go home and take care of his family. That was really all he wanted to do and he knew he could easily just leave and not come back until tomorrow but his wife had told him to stay. Sure, he didn't always listen to her but he would now because he needed those few hours to come up with a way to show Lisbon that she shouldn't feel bad just because she couldn't get Aubry to stop crying. He closed his eyes and let his thoughts roam free.

* * *

Exhausted didn't even begin to cover how Lisbon felt after hours of trying to ease her crying child and discussing dietary options with the little ones doctor. The good news was that baby Aubry had been relatively calm and comfortable since Jane had given her a few tips. She was grateful that it'd worked and that her daughter was perfectly healthy. Colicky but healthy, although, Aubry had not been a fan of the doctor poking and prodding at her and Lisbon was pretty sure that her baby was just as happy to be home as she was.

Holding the small - finally - sleeping bundle, Lisbon curled up on the end of the couch and placed Aubry on her chest. She'd been so scared and it really bothered her that she hadn't been able to help at all. She was a mother, she was supposed to be able to comfort her child. Stroking the dark hair atop Aubry's head, Lisbon stared down at the face of her baby and let her muscles relax for the first time since Jane had left early that morning. It was a little amusing now to think that'd she'd been so worried she hadn't changed out of her sweat pants but at the time, clothes had been the last thing on her mind.

"You scared Mommy today." The only reply she received was the way Aubry snuggled her face into her chest and grabbed a fistfull of her shirt. It was all she needed to let herself lean back into the welcoming cushions and let her tired body be overtaken by sleep. Jane would be home in an hour or two so she'd rest now.

At least that was the plan but what felt like only minutes later she was opening her eyes blearily to see her golden haired husband picking Aubry up off of her chest. A glance at the clock confirmed it had only been approximately fifteen minutes since she'd drifted off. He wasn't even supposed to be home yet.

"Rest hon, I got Bear." Ignoring him, she sat up but regretted it. Her body was beginning to protest its exhaustion. Maybe she needed to start sleeping whenever Aubry took her naps.

"What are you doing home?"

"I missed my girls." A brilliant smile lit up his face when the baby pressed her face into his neck and Lisbon let herself return it. She loved seeing him with their daughter. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen and also the sexiest. He swooped to down to place his lips over hers in a chaste kiss hello. "Seriously, my dear, go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you but I just really wanted to hold this lovely little peach."

"Our little peach is colicky and Dr. Evers said it might be something I'm eating. He said to stay away from dairy and see if that helps."

"No more milk and crackers. Tragic." She'd somehow known he'd make a dig at one of her favorite simple foods. "Teresa,"

His voice had become serious all of a sudden and it made her brow furrow. When he sat down balancing Aubry in one arm, he grabbed her hand and she let her fingers lace through his.

"I know you feel like you didn't do enough today but you did everything right. You're an amazing mother. I know it really bothers you that you couldn't calm her down."

"It does. I'm her mother and even though Dr. Evers told me that sometimes a colicky baby will scream for five hours and nothing soothes them, it didn't make me feel any better so I really don't need to hear it again." She wasn't trying to come off as a bitch but she was telling the truth. It hadn't made her feel any different.

"Okay. Did he tell you anything you can try to calm her down?"

"Yeah. Why didn't you answer your phone?" She'd been panicked and he was the only person she'd wanted to talk to. When he didn't answer, she had actually begun to worry about him as well until she called Cho.

"It won't turn on."

"Did you charge it recently?"

"Of cour...no actually I haven't. I was going to last night but then Aubry needed changed. It must have slipped my mind." Lisbon let an impish smirk take over her lips as she squeezed his hand.

"Uh oh. Patrick Jane is forgetting things? What has the world come to?" She knew her teasing would elicit a response but she hadn't expected him to capture her mouth and hold it hostage for a good three minutes. Not that she minded when his lips glided against hers, she always got caught up in the softness of them. If it wasn't for him holding Aubry, she would have crawled into his lap for a proper make-out session but instead, she forced herself to pull away and smiled when he groaned in protest. "Why don't you put Aubry in her swing for a little bit and come lay with me on the couch?"

"Now that's an offer I can't refuse." Lisbon knew he could've refused just fine but he did exactly as she suggested. He just moved the swing until it was only about a foot from the couch before placing Aubry in it and turning it on. She thought it was adorable.

As Lisbon stretched out on the couch once again, she let herself fully snuggle down in the cushions. A tired smile tugged at her lips when Jane wiggled his eyebrows and moved over her. He let a hand rest on either side of her head and she let his body settle between her legs. She didn't feel guilty or weird because of the baby next to them. They weren't about to do anything inappropriate but she felt that this was needed. They hadn't been this intimate since before Aubry was born and after the day she'd had, she needed the comfort.

Their lips met again, this time lingering and slowly intoxicating her senses. There was a sigh that escaped her lungs and he took that opportunity to explore her mouth as if he'd forgotten every crevice. It'd be easy to get swept away, forget about everything including the fact that their child was so close or that her brother could walk in the door with his baby at any minute. The familiar ache of arousal flooded her body and she wanted to growl in frustration when she recalled that she'd given birth just twelve days ago. It'd be awhile before she was cleared for sex. No she hadn't planned on going at it on the couch but she had thought about picking up where they left off later when they were alone. Just when her hand combed through his curls, his mouth moved away and his forehead rested against hers.

Breath mingling, Lisbon tilted her head up to press a soft quick kiss to his parted lips. And then she did it again. One kiss and then another and then one more because she was in the mood to show him that she loved him, no matter what.

"I'm sorry I kept snapping at you on the phone."

"You were just scared. It's okay." It was clear in his eyes that he meant what he said. He held no hard feelings over her behavior. She really loved his eyes in moments like these. So close and expressive and just beautifully magnificent. "But I'm going to say it again whether you want to hear it or not; you didn't do anything wrong. You really need to cut yourself some slack Mrs. Jane because you're a great mother to our little girl."

She'd known he wouldn't let it go but she couldn't even be angry with him for bringing it up again. Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and tugged until he let his body rest against hers. She loved feeling his weight pressing her into the couch, he was a little heavy but not too heavy. He shimmied down - just as he always did - and stopped only when his head was pillowed on her chest. She chose not to make a witty remark and just enjoyed the moment instead. She was choosing to watch him, watch their daughter in her swing that swallowed her tiny body. When her hand moved to play with his curls, he hummed and let his eyes close. Lisbon knew he'd have a hard time being away from them both, she knew he probably let his mind torture him with thoughts of things that could happen to them but they were fine. All of them were okay and comfortable. Parenting was scary but she knew it was worth it. With a sigh, she closed her eyes as well but continued to play with Jane's hair until her hand was too heavy to lift and her body went limp with sleep.

**a/n: Holy Mentalist. I'm back, for real this time. Believe will be updated tomorrow! And Family Revelations will be updated Sunday. Thank my mother for this, she's letting me use her computer but I get it late at night while she's sleeping. It's still better than no computer at all. I hope you guys liked the update. **

**Next: "Reeses -"**

**"Don't you dare try to downplay this." Her blood boiled. She'd told him - they'd talked about this and he had apparently ignored her as usual. "You can sleep on the couch or in one of the rooms, I don't care but I don't want you in my bed tonight."**


	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer: See all previous chapters.**

**A/N: I know, I know. Shock. Gasp. I updated in a timely manner. And oh my goodness this is chapter #40. What can I say? I just love writing this and the feedback from all of you is amazing. This story pulls the most readers and generally the most reviews. It just blows my mind because I honestly thought this would be a story that nobody would even want to read. **

**AND I finally have a job! Saving up to go back to college. :)**

**I want to thank all my anonymous reviewers: Andi, Lu, Aussie, Rae and tylie. Everyone who left a signed review should have received a personal reply - if you didn't then feel free to throw something at me. :) Now please enjoy chapter forty.**

This was bad. Jane knew it the moment it happened. He'd overstepped a line, one that apparently triggered a violent reaction from the suspect he was trying to trap. His wife always told him to think about the consequences but he honestly hadn't expected such a reaction - one that left him on the floor, his body aching, and a gun pointed straight at his head. Perhaps he hadn't thought this through enough.

His chest hurt, his breathing was heavy, and his heart was pounding. Patrick Jane was genuinely terrified and hoping that the team had followed his clues. Lisbon always managed - well most of the time - but she was at home taking care of their precious baby. He thought of Aubry, and the four weeks she'd been on this earth and how this just couldn't be the end for him. He wanted to talk, try to help the situation but the blood dripping from his mouth made him think twice. Talking was what led to his predicament. Although if he timed everything correctly then he needed five minutes, maybe less. He really hoped the team was already en route.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." It was lies, of course he'd meant to offend the young man. That was always his goal to get reactions. He certainly hadn't expected that one.

"Shut up!" Clearly that tactic wasn't going to work.

"Stephen, listen to me, the cops are already on their way. If you kill me - "

"Just shut up man! Let me think!" Stephen's face was red, he was sweating and he kept looking towards the window. He was paranoid and that might be a good thing. That could work in Jane's favor if he played his cards right. His ribs were throbbing but he had to try.

* * *

The rest really had been a blur, he'd rolled away - that he remembered - but he couldn't make out the chain of events that'd happened next. There were sirens, yelling, gun shots. All things that he hated. At least it was over and he was fine. Fine as could be. Everybody had made such a fuss over him, making him go to the hospital which he thought was a waste of three hours, calling Lisbon which made him almost dread going home, and he was just frustrated now. Tired too. All he wanted to do was kiss his daughter and crawl into bed. He knew it wouldn't happen quite like that. He'd known that a confrontation awaited him and he was right.

As soon as he walked through the door, Lisbon was there. She said nothing but helped him shrug out of his jacket and vest in the middle of the foyer. Appreciating the help, he didn't complain but a small groan escaped when her hand brushed a tender spot. She remained quiet. He didn't know what to think but he knew her silence was never a good thing. If it hadn't been for Aubry and the fact that there was nothing wrong with him, he knew she would have been at the hospital with him for the last three hours.

"Bear asleep?"

"Yeah, she went down kinda early tonight." The air was tense between them and he knew that she was trying her hardest to remain calm. He didn't want to fight but he could tell it was coming. All he wanted was sleep. Whatever they'd given him to manage pain was about to knock him out cold, right where he stood.

"I think I'm gonna give her a kiss and turn in myself. Been a long day." Her scoff and the way her hand splayed against his chest when he tried to walk by told him all he needed to know. He wasn't getting out of this easily.

"We need to talk." He knew it was coming but it didn't stop him from letting his frustration grow. She had a right to worry, she had a right to be upset but he just didn't want to deal with it at the moment. There were other things he could be doing and one of them involved the beautiful cherub asleep in her crib.

"It can wait." The look in her eyes changed, and he saw that she was fighting back emotions she didn't want to share. Her voice was low, shaky, but stern when she replied.

"The hell it can." There was no putting it off for her. Lisbon couldn't let it go this time. Maybe if they didn't have a daughter then she wouldn't be on the verge of tears but she was too afraid to just blow it off. Why didn't he see that? Why didn't he realize that she was terrified of losing him, of being a single mom, and of Aubry being fatherless. "We're gonna talk, and we're going to do it right now."

"I already know what this is about. You're upset but I'm in pain and about to fall over, Teresa."

"I'm upset? You know what, yeah I am but this isn't about me." Her voice cracked on the last word and she dropped her gaze to the floor as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"We talked about this. I told you that you needed to be more careful for Aubry and you pull this crap?" It was unacceptable. Completely and utterly unacceptable. She was happy to see him, glad that he was alive, and all that good stuff but she was so angry. Lisbon wasn't even sure angry was the right word; perhaps, livid was a better term.

"It wasn't _that _bad, honey. Look at me, I'm fine." Scoffing, she raised an eyebrow and gestured to his face while ignoring his endearment.

"_That's _considered fine in your book? Patrick, your jaw is swollen, you were clearly bleeding, and from the way you're standing I'd say you have some bruised or fractured ribs. But sure, you look right as rain."

"The ribs are only bruised. Please just calm down."

"No, I can't." There was no compartmentalizing this, no shoving it in a little box to stash away in one of the corners of her mind. Oh she wished it were that easy but she couldn't let it be. Her gut told her that she was right to be upset because her husband needed to learn that he couldn't go off on his criminal hunting expeditions and not expect some kind of fallout when things didn't go as planned. Had she just thought of his crazy schemes as 'criminal hunting expeditions'? She had. She was definitely married to Patrick Jane and he was rubbing off on her.

"I don't know what else I can besides that I apologize for getting myself in a bit of a sticky situation. It really wasn't that bad." She watched him for a few seconds. Studying him and she knew he was lying. For one thing, she could tell when he wasn't truthful and for the second thing, Cho had told her what went down. Good ol' Cho was there to keep her in the loop even though she was technically on maternity leave.

"Please don't lie to me."

"I'm no-"

"Yes you are!" Her sudden outburst actually startled both of them. They'd managed to keep their voices down but she'd lost control for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she lowered her tone and tried another approach. "I can tell that you aren't telling me the truth. You're sugar coating it and I'm a cop; you don't need to."

"Doctor said I'm fine. You can call the hospital and check if you don't believe me." His sarcasm was actually tempting her to do just that but she wouldn't. It wasn't necessary when she'd already heard all the details from someone else. Lisbon really just wanted to hear them from him. All she wanted was for him to man-up and tell her everything he did, everything he felt, and how he'd do his best to make sure it didn't go down like that ever again. That was all she wanted but she knew him; he wasn't about to make this easy.

"Damn it, Patrick. All I want to do is talk to you about this and clear some things up but you can't even give me that, can you?"

"You don't want to _'just'_ talk. I know for a fact that you know the details. Cho called you." Frustrated with Jane's attitude, she shook her head and let a hand rub at her left temple.

"I would have to have heard it all from you."

"Really, Teresa? Are we going there? Because I distinctly remember that someone got shot while she was _pregnant_ and her husband heard about it from trusty ol' Cho." Lisbon felt his words as if they'd slapped her right across the face. She took a step back, tried to keep herself in check, and decided to walk away before one of them said something that caused major damage to their rather shaky marriage.

"You're right but that was when we were feeling our way around and still having problems."

"We still have problems." Another slap in the face. Another step back. She tried so hard to control her voice but it betrayed her, coming out as a half-sob before she finished her reply. She was hurt now and still so very angry.

"I didn't realize you felt that way."

"Reeses -"

"Don't you dare try to downplay this." Her blood boiled. She'd told him - they'd talked about this and he had apparently ignored her as usual. "You can sleep on the couch or in one of the rooms, I don't care but I don't want you in my bed tonight."

"Alright. I'll be on the couch." She walked away before he could do anything. She had the intent of getting him a blanket and a couple pillows. Yes, she was upset and her chest was uncomfortably heavy feeling but he was still hurt. He had no idea that she was just trying to make things better. She didn't like fighting but she couldn't just let things go unvoiced. It would ruin their relationship. What she'd had to do was so much harder than what she'd wanted to do. Lisbon had wanted to hug him, kiss him, and even hold on tightly as he slept just to prove to herself that he hadn't been taken away from her with a bullet but she'd had to put what was best for her child above all of that. Boundaries were best - they'd keep him alive.

* * *

The two of them hadn't spoken since he'd thanked her for the blanket and pillow she'd provided and Lisbon had spent the last two hours tossing in her bed. It was too big without him in it. How had she ever managed to sleep alone? She was cold and uncomfortable and felt strangely out of place but she knew that she couldn't just ignore everything that her brain was telling her. She'd done the right thing...she hoped.

In the darkened room, her eyes sought out the baby monitor. The screen showed her little Bear curled up in her crib, sleeping soundly. Part of her had hoped for the distraction of her daughter needing something.

Everyone was asleep. Well she didn't know if her husband was but she knew that Jon and Jojo had turned in rather early. After five more minutes of lying with her eyes open, she blew out a steady stream of air in disgust at her inability to drift off to sleep and decided that there was only one thing to do. She crawled out of bed, not bothering with putting anymore clothes on. Everybody who could possibly be awake or happen to awake had seen her in her usual t-shirt sleepwear.

She quietly exited her bedroom and headed for the stairs. One thing she loved about her stairs was that Jane had built them and another thing was that she could sit on the second to the top stair and still have a view of her living room and the couch that her handsome husband was using as a mattress. Her wooden floor was mostly silent as she walked across; it only squeaked right by the stairs but she didn't think anyone would hear. If Jane was awake then of course he would but when she perched on the step and peered over at the couch, she could tell that he hadn't even wiggled. A little stab of heartache tore through her chest. As wrong as it was, she'd hoped that he wouldn't be able to sleep either.

For a long time, she watched him. It relaxed her, showed her that he'd made it home and that he hadn't taken a bullet straight to the brain. Cho had told her exactly how they'd found him and how their killer had almost claimed her Jane as another victim. The man was stubborn but really, she couldn't say anything about that. It still bothered her.

The light from the TV had cast shadows over his face but she could see how it highlighted his hair and made it look entirely too touchable. There was no doubt in her mind that if she let go of the anger then she'd be walking over to that couch and curling up next to him. She had to stand her ground this time though and she intended to.

Her heart leaped into her throat and she startled when the board behind her squeaked. Her head snapped around just as two pajama clad legs showed up next to her.

"I didn't mean to scare you, sis." He joined her on the step, sitting down besides her and nudging her shoulder playfully.

"It's okay. Can't sleep?"

"No, too many thoughts." Lisbon gave him a warm smile, knowing exactly what he meant. Her thoughts were plentiful and keeping her from getting any shut-eye as well. "I heard you two fighting earlier."

"Oh God, Jon, I'm sorry."

"It's not me I'm worried about. Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Jojo didn't hear did she?" She'd been an idiot to argue with her husband in the middle of their home that they shared with others. She hadn't even thought of that.

"No, she was already out for the night." His shoulder touched hers again but this time the nudge wasn't playful. It meant something. "Come on, you don't put a man on the couch unless there's a legitimate reason.

"He almost died today Jon-Jon and he just acts like it's not a big deal."

"Well I'm not going to get in the middle of anything but I think you should try talking to him again when both of you have had some sleep." That was something that she, too, was certain of. Although, she knew that she could go wake him now. "You two love each other too much for something like this get in your way."

"I just hate it when he does this. He runs off without telling the team, expects them to figure it out so they can bail him out of the hot seat, and almost dies because of it. I asked him to be more careful with his stupid plans because Aubry needs her daddy and he just completely ignored me."

"Here's something you need to know about men in certain situations. We can pop off some smartass comments, pretend we're absolutely great, but honestly, we just don't know how to deal with what we are feeling." With an emotionally exhausted sigh, Lisbon leaned her head on her brother's shoulder. "Everybody with eyes can see that he loves you - hell, even those without the ability to see know. Just give it a little bit of time and I really don't think he meant to completely ignore you."

"He needs to realize that I don't want to do this without him." Even with her eyes on a head full of golden curls, Lisbon knew her brother was smiling at the way she was talking. "I don't care if you laugh at me or how cheesy it sounds; I love him and we have a beautiful baby girl together. That's why he needs to be careful."

"I know you love him. Like I said, give it a couple days to cool down and then try again."

"When did you start giving such good advice?"

"I learned from the best." The smile she knew was firmly on his face brought one to hers. Sometimes, she was really glad that he hadn't been able to find somewhere else to live just yet. She'd give it a few days, recheck her emotions, and try to calmly explain why she was so upset. Things were just too fresh but was he really alright? She hadn't really checked him over but he didn't look so great. "Will you just go check on him so you'll be able to get some sleep already?"

"I hate having two men in this house who always know what I'm thinking." She really didn't but sometimes it was rather annoying.

"Just go." With a mock groan of protest, Lisbon pushed herself up from the stairs and proceeded to descend them the rest of the way. Her mind needed to be put at ease so she knew that Jon was right. She wouldn't sleep a wink until she knew for sure that he was okay. She turned back to look at her brother but he was already gone again. With a shake of her head, she stepped up next to the couch and just stared for a few seconds.

Jane's chest was rising and falling in deep even breaths. He was out like a light and it kind of saddened her that he could sleep at a time like this but she also knew that if he was sleeping _that _good then it was most likely due to the meds they'd given him. She examined his face, taking in the bruising along his jaw and his busted lip. Unable to resist, she reached out until her fingertips brushed his cheek. He felt warm, slightly feverish almost but she didn't want to wake him. They'd just fight again. She wasn't ready to let go but this proved he was okay. He was still alive and without even realizing it, she started to cry.

**a/n: It had to be done my friends, they'd gone quite awhile without a serious quarrel. I hate it when they fight but yay for some brother/sister scenes. I do so love Jon.**

**Next: "It's been six weeks since Lisbon had Aubry." Jane cocked an eyebrow at the young woman as if he wasn't sure what her point was. Grace just let out a sigh and finished her thought. "Has she been cleared to come back?"**

**"I don't know. Her appointment is in an hour."**


	41. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer: It's on my grown-up Christmas list. But so far, nope, don't own it.**

**A/N: The last episode really put me in the mood to write. I sleep a lot now because I work so much but I am working on a formulating a schedule that will keep me updating while still giving me enough hours of sleep to function properly. **

Things - such a simple word that covered so many possibilities. If anyone asked, Jane would tell them that he was thinking about "things" while lying on his couch in the bullpen but the truth was far more complicated. He wasn't contemplating the vastness of the universe or calculating the movements of a criminal. He was merely wondering how long his lovely little wife was going to keep acting aloof. The distance was starting to drive him a bit crazy and it reminded him entirely too much of how they acted when they'd married over a year ago. At first he pretended to understand, even apologized for his behavior, but the only thing that got him was the privilege of returning to their bed. Perhaps it was wrong of him to assume that meant everything was okay because clearly, that wasn't the case.

He'd tried to touch her, hold her while she slept and such but she wouldn't have it. No, she'd just casually shrug it off and roll to face the wall. Had he really upset her that much? A slight frown took over his features as he stared at the ceiling. Surely not. Lisbon knew him better than anyone and she knew that he did rather childish things sometimes and got himself into trouble every now and then. No matter how many times he tried to make up for his actions, the woman just wouldn't budge.

Sinking further into the cushions, Jane winced as his still tender ribs protested. All his other injuries were healed and at first he'd thought that was the wedge that had lodged between him and Lisbon but apparently it wasn't. He'd thought that perhaps she was just taken aback by his appearance and the bruises but those were mostly gone now. He really hated being left out and that was exactly what was happening.

He ignored the way Van Pelt kept glancing over at him and closed his eyes in an attempt to show that he wasn't in the mood for any conversation. The silence continued for a few minutes and his thoughts resumed. There had to be a way to break down the barrier Lisbon had put between them. She acted civil enough and she spoke to him just fine. Even his daughter was acting a little iffy towards him and he knew that she was just reacting to her mother's emotions. He had to fix it.

Smiling to himself as he came up with a plan, he felt eyes upon him again and this time he opened his eyes and turned towards the red head.

"Yes Grace?" Her face flushed at being caught but she didn't try to hide the fact that she'd indeed been staring. "You clearly have something on your mind regarding me, so come on, out with it."

"It's been six weeks since Lisbon had Aubry." Jane cocked an eyebrow at the young woman as if he wasn't sure what her point was. Grace just let out a sigh and finished her thought. "Has she been cleared to come back?"

"I don't know. Her appointment is in an hour."

"Oh, I figured you'd go with her."

"Meh, she's a big girl. She doesn't need me." It was more along the lines of she flat out told him that he was not going because she didn't want him there but he wasn't about to tell everyone that.

"She's still mad at him." Cho's statement wasn't completely unexpected - at least not by Jane. He'd actually figured the man would've jumped into the conversation earlier.

"I wouldn't say she's mad at me. A little frustrated because I got hurt but I don't think she's mad anymore."

"She's upset that you got hurt and she's mad because you're still acting like it was no big deal." A weight settled on his chest and he pushed himself up as fast as he could without aggravating his ribs. Part of him knew that Cho was right but the other part didn't want to believe.

"You know what Cho, you make a good point." He'd been hiding how affected he was by the experience of almost not making it out alive, masking it behind quips and 'I'm fine' but at night he'd lay awake thinking about it. He didn't tell his wife because he didn't want her to worry more than she already was. "I'm going out. I'll bring doughnuts and perhaps a miniature visitor when I return."

Without a word more, he stood and started walking towards the elevator. There were several times in the past when he'd stared down the barrel of a gun. He'd even been kidnapped and tortured but he'd never been _too_ scared back then. He had nothing to lose at that time in his life. But when he'd been lying on the floor, aching and bleeding with a gun aimed at his head, he'd been completely terrified. He had a lot to lose now and he was starting to realize that. He remembered how he'd felt when Lisbon had been grazed by a bullet. Maybe it was time to talk things out instead of just hoping that everything would eventually go back to normal.

* * *

With a warm tiny body pressed to her chest, Lisbon felt comforted. She wasn't nervous about the appointment per say, but she wasn't exactly looking forward to it either. Not to mention she was a bit stressed out due to her husband. That man would be the death of her. She just knew it and judging by the way her precious baby snuggled into her neck, he wasn't the only one that was going to cause her trouble. She could already tell that her daughter was going to get herself into some mighty big messes, it was mother's intuition. The love that Lisbon felt burning in her as she carefully pulled her baby back from her chest couldn't be described.

Her heart swelled when she looked down at Aubry's little nose. She watched as it wrinkled up when her mouth opened wide into a yawn. Tiny eyes fluttered slowly and Lisbon let the equally tiny hand grasp onto her finger.

"Well hi there." Another yawn from the baby was her only reply. "Goodness that's a big yawn for such a little body. I don't think I'll ever get over how small you are."

"She gets that from you." Startled by the intrusion, Lisbon's eyes snapped up from the baby in her lap to the man standing a few feet in front of her. She quickly glanced around the waiting room to see how many people were staring but no one was.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too, honey."

"Patrick..."

"I know you're still upset with me but just let me be here, please." Her mouth was already opened and forming the word 'no'. "Look at it this way, I can keep our little Bear occupied."

The moment her shoulders slumped and her gaze dropped to her now wide awake infant, she knew that she'd given in and he knew it too judging by the way his hands suddenly appeared in an effort to take Aubry. Unable to deny him the right to hold his little girl, she let him lift their purple penguin clad wiggle worm from her lap and pretended that she didn't shiver when his fingers brushed against her thighs. She didn't want to be mad at him anymore but she just couldn't help it. She didn't want to shy away from his touch - in fact she craved it - but she didn't know how else to get it through his thick skull. He was nothing short of stubborn and she was just too exhausted to keep saying the same thing over and over with no result.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" The sight of him making faces and cooing at Aubry melted her heart and she had to bite back the lump that tried to form in her throat.

"Meh, they don't need me." When he took a seat next to her, Lisbon wasn't sure she'd be able to keep her wall up. It was easy most days because he was at work and she was at home with the baby. By the time he came through the front door, she'd be reading a book while feeding Aubry or doing some household chore which made it easier to block him out. "I think my Bree Bear needs me more than those boring people, huh baby?"

"She's gonna hate that nickname as much I hate Reeses." Almost as if Aubry understood what they were saying, her brow furrowed and her face scrunched up in a look resembling distaste. "See, she already knows it's awful."

"Nah, she's just tired of being in this stuffy old doctor's office." It felt good to banter with him and the smile that tugged at Lisbon's mouth showed how much she'd missed it. It'd been almost two weeks since he'd come home with those awful bruises and busted lip. Her heart dropped just thinking about it and it must have shown because before she could cover it with something light, Jane cleared his throat and stroked Aubry's cheek. "I'm sorry. I know you don't believe me but I really am."

"I don't think we should get into this here." He looked up from their cooing daughter, his eyes met hers and she sighed. "I rea -"

"Teresa Lisbon?" They both cringed at the nurse's timing but the woman didn't look to be one for waiting around so with a shared glance they agreed to finish the conversation later. Hell, that was what Lisbon wanted anyway. She wasn't keen on having the four other women in the waiting room listening in on something so private.

She stood to indicate that she was present and was just about to tell Jane that she'd prefer if he waited when he nodded towards the nurse but made no move to get up. He knew what she wanted which wasn't too surprising really but she saw that it bothered him. If it wasn't for the distance and tension that was still bubbling between them, she wouldn't have a problem with him being present for her exam but for now, she was determined to show him how it felt to be left out. Maybe that was cruel of her but as she followed the nurse, Mindy her name tag informed, she didn't even glance back.

Her arms felt a bit empty without Aubry in them but she didn't worry. If there was one thing she was certain of it was that Jane was over the moon for their daughter and had been nothing short of a fantastic father despite her coldness towards him. She'd get this out of the way and then she'd sit down with her out-of-the-box husband for a much needed discussion. She didn't say much as the nurse weighed her or when she led her to the room. Her thoughts took over and her mind wandered.

To be honest, she didn't pay much attention to what her doctor said either. She couldn't even recall most of it - besides lying in a cold room in a gown but even that was a memory after just fifteen minutes. Although, she was pretty sure she could go back to work but that was actually a bit bittersweet considering she'd be leaving Aubry. She was ready to be back on the job but she wasn't so sure she was ready to be without her daughter for more than an hour.

When she'd returned to the waiting room to find Jane and Aubry gone, she'd immediately started to miss her beautiful dark headed bundle. She was also a bit disappointed and a tad bit angry. He'd left after making such a fuss about being there and he'd taken Aubry with him. The one person who had been keeping her from being an emotional mess was gone, naturally she was a bit peeved. It wasn't that she was afraid for Aubry's wellbeing, she knew that her daughter was fine but she didn't know where she was and that just didn't sit right with her at all. Her hand flew to her jacket pocket and lifted the phone out. She stared at the screen for a moment in disbelief. No new messages and no missed calls. He really had just up and left without so much as telling her where he was going.

Lisbon wasn't the type of woman to explode in front of an audience so she waited until she was in her car to dial Jane. If he really thought that showing up at her appointment and then just leaving with Aubry while she was in the middle of it had earned him brownie points, he was severely mistaken. She was cursing under her breath by the third ring and when he answered, she didn't give him any time to try to explain.

"Where the hell are you? You show up claiming that you want to be here for me and then you just take our daughter and leave without so much as a heads up. That's some way to be there for your wife, Jane." She'd added his surname just to hit him below the belt.

"Teresa -"

"Just tell me where you are."

"Jon called, said he'd rented an apartment and asked if I wanted to see it." Lisbon frowned, unsure of whether she believed him or not. Jon hadn't called her but he also knew that she'd had an appointment with her doctor.

"And you couldn't wait till I was done?" Her seatbelt was buckled before she realized what she was doing and her hand was turning the key in the ignition.

"It's a bit of a long story."

"Send me the address. I'm on my way." Without a goodbye, she ended the call and started to back out of the parking space. Her phone buzzed against her thigh but she waited to look at the message until she'd stopped at the end of the parking lot. It was the address she'd asked for and she actually felt a kinda bad that she hadn't believed him.

Taking a left, she headed for a neighborhood she knew all too well. Her brother was apparently living in the same apartment complex she'd resided in herself until Jane had bought them their house. It crossed her mind a couple times that maybe that was why he'd left. It wasn't far from the doctors office, maybe a few blocks. It took her a total of ten minutes to arrive and once she'd parked, she was out of the car and almost speed walking to the door marked with the appropriate combination of numbers.

She raised her fist to knock, rapped her knuckles against the door a few times and then waited. It was definitely her little brother that answered, with a toddling Jojo right behind him but she could read his expressions rather well and according to the raised eyebrows and slightly opened mouth, she'd bet money that he had no idea she was coming.

"Hey sis," When Jon stepped aside, she entered the apartment and noted that it was the same set-up as her old one. She actually missed it a little but the house was great, she loved it.

"Where's Patrick?" She asked as nonchalantly as possible while picking up Jojo and settling her on her hip. It hadn't taken her more than a second to see that her husband wasn't in the living room and now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen his hideous car on the way in either.

"Is this a trick question?"

"He said you'd called him and told him about the apartment."

"I did and I gave him the address so you could all come for dinner tomorrow. My furniture should all be here by then." A frustrated growl bubbled in her throat.

"Son of a - " Remembering the toddler in her arms, Lisbon stopped herself from completing her sentence and tried to calm herself down by focusing on her smiling niece. "Uncle Patrick is in big trouble, Jojo."

"Uh oh!" Unable to resist, Lisbon chuckled at Jojo's adorable reaction and hugged her tightly in hopes to expell some of the negative energy festering itself inside of her.

"So why did you assume Patrick was here?"

"He showed up at my doctor's appointment, said he wanted to be there for me and then he took Aubry and left while I was getting checked over. When I called him, he said he was here." She blew out a breath in frustration before she locked gazes with her brother and let Jojo play with the long srands of her hair.

"He hasn't been here. I'm sorry but I have no idea where he's at."

"Honestly Jon, I'm just not sure..." She trailed off not wanting to let her emotions get the best of her in front of Jolisa. She didn't want to confuse her or deal with the innocent questions that her bubbly little niece would undoubtedly stutter out.

"Jojo, honey, it's time for all little princesses to take their naps." Lisbon knew why he was reaching for his daughter and coercing her but she couldn't bring herself to protest. She let him take her and said nothing while he climbed the stairs. "I'll be right back."

She found a spot on the floor that looked to be comfortable enough and sat down to wait. She didn't reach for her phone, didn't call Jane again. Instead she waited on her brother to come back down. He wasn't gone long at all, only a few minutes and she knew that was definitely not long enough to put a rather stubborn little Jolisa to sleep.

"You didn't really just leave her up there, did you?"

"We went shopping yesterday, she has a bed and toys up there. I have a baby gate at the top of the stairs and I already baby proofed everything. She'll be okay for a little bit." For a moment, Lisbon just stared at her younger brother but then his words registered in her brain and her face morphed into a look of confusion.

"Yesterday? How long have you known that the apartment was yours?"

"A few days but I wanted to wait and surprise you." Jon sat down beside her and as soon as he did, she knew that she was going to end up telling him everything. She'd almost told him a few minutes ago and would have if Jojo hadn't been in the room. Nothing was holding her back now. "So, wanna finish what you almost blurted out?"

"I'm just...he lied to me. He blatantly lied to me."

"I'm sure it's for a good reason and doesn't he lie quite often?"

"Don't defend him, this is different." Jon's hands went up in surrender and she let her head drop back against the wall with a thud. "While we were in the waiting room, he apologized for being stupid and getting hurt."

"I thought you two were passed that. I mean, he wasn't sleeping on the couch anymore."

"No but it still bothers me. I'm glad he's okay, I really am but I just don't understand how he can just go about his life like it never actually happened and I'm just so tired of it."

"Did you call him again, ask where he really is?" A deep sigh exhaled from her lungs and she turned to look at her brother.

"No. I know Aubry's safe with him - he'd never do anything to put her in harm's way, of that I'm sure - and I'm too pissed off at him to call." If she called, she'd say things and end up in tears because of the unbearable frustration he'd brought upon her in just a few weeks time. "Can I just sit here for awhile?"

"Of course." A few seconds of silence enveloped them, both sitting with their backs against the wall and legs stretched out in front of them. "Are you gonna cry?"

"What? No!"

"Are you sure because you kinda look like you might," Playfully swatting Jon's arm, Lisbon smiled a little at his over exaggerated 'ow'. "I was just gonna offer you a hug if you were, geez sis."

"Oh hush, you're fine. Just sit here with me, will ya?"

* * *

There were no expectations when Lisbon arrived at home. She didn't know what was going to happen or if she'd even speak to Jane at that point but she did know that she was going to check on Aubry and then probably take a long bath. Everything else was still up in the air but when she closed the door, Jane was there to greet her with a sleepy looking baby in his arms.

"Don't be mad."

"Don't be mad? You leave, then lie about where you are and all you can say to me is 'don't be mad'?" Rolling her eyes, she reached for Aubry and gently lifted her from her father's arms. She was in a different outfit and smelled of lotion and shampoo. It almost soothed Lisbon's anger.

"I'll explain everything." She felt the urge to punch him but she was holding precious cargo and when a tiny hand fisted in her shirt, she let some of the tension release from her body.

"Okay."

"Let me put Aubry in her crib and then I'll tell you everything."

"I can take her."

"Teresa, please. I really want you to go see what's in the living room." Once her curiosity was piqued there was no way she'd be able to resist. Somewhat reluctantly she passed her baby back to him after kissing her forehead and whispering 'I love you'.

"If you bought me something elaborate, it isn't going to make me forgive you."

"Just go look, relax a little." She scoffed at the suggestion but cautiously walked towards the room as he carried Aubry upstairs. The first thing she noticed was that the coffee table was pushed against one wall but when her eyes moved to the space it used to occupy, the air was sucked right out of her lungs. In it's place and taking up part of their living room floor was a familiar blue comforter with pillows piled up at one end.

Despite her anger, Lisbon smiled and kicked off her shoes. Her socks were the next to go and then her jacket was tossed carelessly over the back of the couch. She didn't think twice before plopping down in the pillows. Maybe it was weird that she found comfort in a blue bedspread that they randomly stretched out over the floor but it meant a lot to her.

When Jane walked in, she tensed and sat up a little straighter as if to brace herself. He didn't say anything until he'd made his way across the room and settled down into the blanket. He didn't get too close and she was glad that he kept his distance because she wasn't so sure what he was planning. He placed the baby monitor between them and then he did nothing. He didn't say anything or do anything. He just stared at her.

"Are you going to explain?"

"Part of what I told you on the phone was true. Jon did call and it made me think." He paused. She wasn't sure why but he looked worried.

"Keep going."

"I thought I could use it to distract you, while I set everything up here." He ran a hand through his hair and she bit her lip to keep her fingers from doing the same. "And I promised the team doughnuts so I needed some extra time."

She chose to let the last bit slide. She wasn't going to ask because something told her that it was another story altogether and she wasn't about to get him off track.

"I'm still lost Patrick. You _lied _to me and I know that isn't exactly new but I -"

"I wanted to get this all set up so I could show you that I'm not okay with the way things have been. I wanted tell you that I..." His gaze dropped as his words trailed off and that was when Lisbon realized what it all lead back to. "It's not that I'm pretending nothing happened. It happened, obviously, or my ribs wouldn't hurt and I wouldn't keep dreaming about it. I've stayed up some nights, replaying it in my head."

"You're not sleeping because of it?" She hadn't known about that and suddenly she felt a bit selfish.

"Well let's be truthful here, my love, I don't get a whole lot of sleep anyway and I didn't want to worry you. I figured you were upset enough about the whole ordeal." She didn't notice the moisture that had gathered in her eyes. "I, uh, I was terrified. I thought that I was going to die and leave you to raise Aubry without a father. I don't want that to happen Teresa, you have to know that."

"I know." Her voice came out small and almost a whisper but she didn't try again. He'd heard her. "That's why I was so upset with you. I just want you to think before you go off on your own because I am so afraid that one day you're not gonna come back."

"I've apologized before but I never meant to hurt you. I honestly didn't and I really am trying to settle down but I won't lie, it's a little harder than I expected." She can't help but chuckle a bit at that and it was then that a few tears slipped out. It was what she'd been needing. "I had this boss that was pretty good at keeping me from going _too _far but she's been away for awhile."

"I guess it's a good thing she's coming back then." Her anger wasn't gone but it had waned. She was more concerned with the fact that he'd just said what she'd been hoping to hear for close to fourteen days.

"Indeed. It's entirely too dull without her." Finally letting a smile form on her lips, she reached up to wipe her face. As soon as her vision was clear enough to see the man in front of her, she let her frustrations take on a different outlet. It started with her grabbing his shoulders and pulling him into a hug that had her pressed so tightly against him, she was sure he'd protest due to his ribs. He didn't.

Her fingers gripped his shirt as if her life depended on it and she finally let herself admit that she had missed the warmth of his body. She buried her face in his shoulder and exhaled deeply when his hand soothed down her spine.

"Don't ever do that to me again or you'll never be allowed back in this house, got it?" She felt him chuckle but he agreed. They sat in the floor, clinging to each other, neither one of them wanted to be the first to pull away. It was fitting that they moved at the same time but their arms didn't budge. It was their heads that readjusted, their eyes found each other's and before Lisbon could talk herself out of it, she closed the distance between them and settled her lips over his.

It felt like it'd been years since they'd shared a kiss. A soft and gentle kiss that had her mouth being caressed by his. She didn't notice her hands had moved to grip his collar or that his tangled in her hair until he nipped her bottom lip and tugged her dark tresses to give him better access. Her lips parted on a sigh and he used it to his advantage, slipping his tongue inside to sensually meet with hers. She could've stopped him with one word but it'd been too long since she'd felt the sensations rushing through her blood. He wasn't fully forgiven but he was on the right path and who was she to put up a road block when it was evident she'd rather bump up the speed limit.

Her heart was pounding in her chest, beating faster as each second passed. One kiss and she was on fire. Her blood was boiling, her abdomen tight with want and her skin flushed with desire. He stalled their kiss, resting his lips against hers for a moment before he pulled back and opened his eyes. She took one look at him before she stretched her arms above her head. A shiver shook her whole body when his hands dropped to her sides and started to toy with the hem of her shirt. His warm fingers were tickling her sensitive skin and she had to clamp her mouth shut to keep from moaning. He just lingered there, teasing her and staring at her as if he were amazed. There was nothing subtle about what she was asking for. She had her arms in the air, she was waiting for him to rid her of her shirt but he continued to just look at her.

Unable to take it anymore, Lisbon took matters into her own hands. She reached down, grabbed the fabric of her shirt, and pulled it over her head in one swift tug. He smirked and she knew exactly what he was thinking. She was too impatient.

"I take it you've been cleared for everything." It wasn't a question but she still nodded lazily due to the huskiness of his tone. It heightened her arousal to hear him so off his game. That was her first mistake, to assume he wasn't still in complete control of himself. He was and she knew it when he pushed her back to gently rest against the pillows. She'd thought for a moment that he was going to pounce, lose all control, and they'd have hot crazy sex in the middle of the living room floor but she'd been wrong.

He caressed her, starting at her cheek and making her eyes flutter. His fingers danced along her skin, down her neck and over her chest. He stopped briefly to reach around and unclasp her bra but then he continued down her stomach. He didn't dip beneath her waistband, didn't kiss her with hunger. He moved to her hand instead, caressing it, lacing their fingers together for a moment before he tiptoed up her arm. Her breaths were coming in harsh pants and he'd barely done anything. He was driving her mad with the touch and she knew that he was well aware of that fact. He didn't care, it didn't stop him. His fingers teased along her bra strap and then he finally eased it down and next thing she knew, the cloth was gone. The cool air hit her breasts and her eyes snapped open.

She'd been lying there, letting him do as he pleased but her hands moved to the buttons on his shirt. He kissed her then, as her fingers worked quickly, his mouth pressed hotly against her own and she felt the ache build between her thighs. His weight settled against her as she pushed the fabric of his shirt off his shoulders, making him moan against her lips. He was being so easy, so careful and she knew he was trying to hold back and savor it. She didn't rush him, she waited until he started to unzip her trousers before she reached to do the same to him. Some wiggling and his hands were involved in ridding her of them, leaving her there in just her panties. She left him with nothing, pushing his underwear and pants down at the same time, smiling a little against his mouth when he had to awkwardly kick his leg to get out of them. He nipped her lips and broke away to look down at her.

"Beautiful, so beautiful." Lisbon wanted to make a quip of how cheesy it was for him to say such a thing but she swallowed her words roughly when his hand smoothed up the inside of her thigh. A whimper escaped when his fingers teased along the hem of her panties and her back arched in an attempt to make him touch her but he knew her tricks, knew her moves. He pulled his hand back to tug the last scrap of cloth down her legs and to keep her waiting just a little longer, she knew that was his plan.

She had one of her own and it involved wrapping her hand around his length and listening to his hiss of pleasure. It was her way of making it clear that she didn't want anything more than him. Their eyes locked, noses touched and Lisbon helped guide him between her legs. He stilled before he pushed into her and she was about to tell him that if he didn't get on with it, she'd shoot him but he proceeded to bury himself to the hilt before she had the chance.

Her face scrunched in discomfort and he stopped. She'd thank him later for giving her a minute. When she whispered 'okay', it was all the encouragement he needed. His hips thrust against hers which only tightened the burning coil deep within her. Her mouth opened but she wasn't sure if she was making any kind of noise. Her ears only heard the shaky breathing of her partner as he climbed closer to the edge. She dug her fingers into his back and turned her head to catch his lips. She expected him to speed up, falter, but he didn't. He was steadily rocking in and out of her and she was getting more and more lost with each move their bodies made. He amazed her and she told him exactly that when he broke the kiss to nibble on her neck. She couldn't get close enough. She couldn't touch him enough. It was a sensory overload and she felt like he was doing most of the work.

Her body was responding just fine. Her back arched and her hips met his on each thrust, but her motor functions seemed to have failed her and all she could do was hold on tight and kiss any place her lips landed which included his shoulder, his neck, his chest. His breathing changed, indicating to her that he was getting close. His skin was clammy with sweat and she knew hers was the same. She let herself her thoughts drift away and focused on the pleasure, on the feel of him within her, around her, all over her. His name slipped off her tongue easily as she tightened all of her muscles in preparation for what was about to come. Her toes curled, her legs locked around his waist and she pulled him closer to her torso. It started. The small rivulets of pleasure spread like wildfire, growing in intensity as he rocked into her steadily. It wasn't rough, wasn't fast, wasn't slow. It was their own pace and just what she needed. His mouth connected with the sensitive spot just below her ear and she came undone. She convulsed around him, her muscles tightening almost to the point of being painful as the waves crashed over her, taking her down, making her feel as though she were drowning in ecstasy. Her lungs couldn't suck in enough air and she sank into the abyss, her body falling limp beneath him just as he froze against her, a groan ripped from his throat and his warmth flooded into her.

He dropped beside her in an attempt not to crush her and let his hand rest on her stomach. It was still a habit. Even after six weeks, he wasn't used to not feeling a round belly and a baby kicking. For several minutes they didn't say anything, they just stared at each other and let their breathing return to normal. Lisbon hadn't planned to be the one to break their silence but after about five minutes, she felt the words just tumble out of her mouth.

"Thank you for telling me." Even after the mind numbing sex, she knew that she didn't need to elaborate. He understood. "Just do it sooner next time."

"Yes, dear."

"Hush or I'll elbow you in the ribs." She wouldn't and he probably knew that but he said nothing of that nature. He nuzzled his face into her neck and pressed a warm kiss against her skin.

"You and Aubry are everything to me. I won't lose you." There was nothing she could say so instead, Lisbon relaxed into the pillow, closed her eyes and finally felt at ease.

**a/n: This was a long one. But it was necessary. Hope you enjoyed it. **

**Next: "We should go on a date tonight."**

**"We're married and it always ends in disaster."**


	42. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. Although my season 3 arrived in the mail! **

**A/N: I've been kind of bummed lately which doesn't do well for my writing but I'm starting to perk up. I dyed my hair for a change and it's really enhanced my mood. And I'm getting my nose repierced on my next payday so I'm quite happy about that. I'd love another tattoo but that's a bit too expensive at the moment and I am trying to save up to move. I'm just finally starting to feel like myself again. Oh and randomly, my laptop decided to work. YAY!**

**Now I have two points to make here before we get to the story:  
1. This story will be exactly 100 chapters. I've decided. The reviews have kinda dipped lately so I'm taking that as a sign.  
2. That being said, it's also going to have a sequel set two years after this one ends because the HUGE curveball that I want to throw just isn't going to happen in this story so I have to write a sequel. **

Harsh breathing and the rustling of sheets tangling were the only sounds that could be heard within the darkened bedroom. Sweat covered the man that Lisbon had pinned to the bed but his thrashing continued as if she weighed nothing more than a feather. At first, in her sleep filled haze, the woman simply shushed him and mumbled a demand that he hold still. She figured he was awake and just tossing due to boredom or being uncomfortable. He did that a lot when he couldn't sleep. It took a few moments of his whimpers and jerky movements before she woke up enough to understand what was happening. Her arm tightened across his stomach as she opened her eyes to blearily glance up at him. Lifting her head to see her distraught husband struggling with some unknown force in his mind, she quickly set about to diffuse the situation. Always the fixer.

He was soaked, his skin glistened in the pale moonlight and his brow was furrowed. Clearly something was plaguing his sleep and keeping it from being pleasant. Her chest constricted as she gently shook him.

"Patrick...hey, Patrick wake up." That was all it took. Just her whispered plea and his eyes flew open whilst a gasp left his lungs. "It's okay."

He said nothing, his eyes found hers in the dark, and he sat up to pull her into a crushing embrace that had her squirming to get comfortable. He was squeezing a little too tightly which made it a bit difficult to breathe but she didn't complain. She didn't mention it at all, instead her arms wrapped around him as he burried his face in her neck. They stayed like that, neither of them moving for a long while - she didn't know how long. He refused to let up, holding her tighter when she tried to pull away. She was doing her best to comfort him despite the fact that she had no idea why he needed her to. Yes, she was well aware that he'd obviously had a nightmare but she didn't know what it was about or why his muscles relaxed the second she let her hand run through his dampened curls. He wasn't offering any explanation so she kissed his temple and spoke softly.

"Will you tell me about it?" The shaky breath expelled against her skin was enough to tell her he didn't want to and that it had to do with something she hadn't thought about in a long time. "Was it Red John?"

"Yes." Gently tugging at his curls, Lisbon urged him to lift his head. He listened to her silent communication and did as she asked. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness of their bedroom and she could make out the features on his face. Being so close was an advantage, one that he amplified by resting his forehead against hers.

"He's dead, remember? I killed him almost two years ago." Her tone was gentle, she was worried that he'd forgotten in his emotional state.

"I know but I keep seeing them. And you."

"Me?" He nodded but she barely noticed because his mouth puckered to gently caress her lips. It was over a split second after it started but she basked in the sweet kiss nonetheless.

"And Aubry which doesn't make much sense. Red John was dead before we ever married." It was a topic they never really discussed but she knew that his mind still randomly tortured him. It was inevitable really. Lisbon didn't know what to say, there were no words. Thankfully, he made it easy on her by brushing his lips against hers again. This she could do.

"I'm not going anywhere." His hands slid down her back and she knew what he wanted. She was good at this kind of comfort, it came easily for her and with a flick of her tongue across his bottom lip, she let things heat up. His mouth parted to her explorations, his hands tugged at her shirt until he could slip his hands underneath to toy with her underwear. A rumble vibrated through his chest and she knew why. He loved that she wasn't one for wearing pants to bed - she just didn't like feeling all tangled up in cloth and he was a big fan. Their mouths disconnected briefly with an audible smack. Ever since she'd 'mostly' forgiven him, she couldn't get enough. Each touch, each kiss, every single brief moment they had always made her want more. She wasn't sure that was normal after over a year of marriage and having a baby.

She pushed him back until he was resting against the pillows once again and then moved to straddle his hips. His groan made her feel like she was in charge and sexy but she didn't forget what the goal was - comfort him, that was what she was hoping to accomplish. With a slow movement, she let their mouths meld together once again. This time the pace was lazy and his hands roamed her back as if he was trying to memorize her skin. She felt herself give in, muscles relaxing and body practically melting into him as he hummed against her. Just as he moved to trail kisses along her chin, a cry pierced the air. They both froze and Lisbon winced at the unhappy sound that came from the baby monitor on the nightstand. Someone was awake and clearly not pleased. She moved off of her husband and tossed a look over her shoulder when he started to laugh. The sound was beautiful to hear after he'd been shaking and almost in tears just minutes ago but she wasn't sure what he found funny until he grasped her hand, kissed the back of it and broke their silence.

"I suspect this will be the first of many times we get interrupted by our child." He was right. Aubry had never made a peep during any of their other rather steamy moments but something told her that was over. "Should have expected it sooner or later."

"Try to get some more sleep, I'll be back in a minute." He let go of her fingers, and she got up to go check on her daughter. A chill took hold of her in the hallway but she ignored it and continued on to the nursery. The room was probably her favorite in the house with it's beautiful art and of course she loved the rocking chair next to the crib. It was the probably the sole reason she'd decided to move into the home.

Her crying baby grew louder as she stepped into the room but the moment she looked down into the crib, the wailing stopped. Whimpers replaced them as Lisbon lifted Aubry from the mattress.

"Shhh, it's okay." With one hand balancing the infant in the pink duck covered sleeper, she used the other to grab a diaper. She was rather good at this now. The whole changing a baby quickly thing. She laid her daughter on the changing table and began to unbutton her clothes. Aubry had hated being changed until a few weeks ago. She used to scream but now she just sort of frowned and looked up at her mother as if she was showing her that she wasn't pleased. The expressions that Aubry used always made Lisbon smile. Her daughter already had a little attitude and sometimes it reminded her of her husband but other times their daughter was all Lisbon.

Aubry's legs kicked wildly as soon as they were free until Lisbon grasped them in her hand which earned a grunt from the pouty little lips. The toes wiggling against her palm made her smile widen as she rid Aubry of the soaked diaper and replaced it with a fresh one. Her daughter still wasn't a fan of the wipes or the process of being redressed. When the last button was snapped, Lisbon picked her up again and kissed her head.

"Good as new." The two month-old just looked up at her for a minute and then she smiled a toothless grin. "You hungry?"

The question was answered by Aubry pulling her mother's finger towards her mouth and clamping down on it. Her eyes closed almost immediately as Lisbon sat down in the rocking chair. She lifted her shirt and moved all the material out of the way before bringing Aubry up to her chest. The tiredness seeped in as soon as her baby latched on. Rocking gently, she watched her child with adoration, never peeling her eyes away until she heard footsteps enter the room. The disheveled look really worked for Jane, the rumpled pajamas and the wild hair, but she'd been hoping he'd fall back asleep. That was why she'd got up in the first place. He could have easily been the one to jump out of bed and care for Bear - that's why there were bottles pre-made in the fridge - but she'd wanted him to rest. The man didn't sleep enough, never had, and it was visible in the bags that had developed under his eyes.

"Bear okay?"

"She's fine. Just hungry." He nodded and walked over to them with a small smile tugging at his lips. Maybe this was what he needed, to see both of them. It'd be understandable given what he'd told her about his nightmare.

"Let's go back to bed."

"I'm feeding Aubry."

"She can come too." The hopefulness in his voice had her convinced before she even realized it but she wasn't about to let him know that. Although, truth be told, he probably already did. That was the downfall of having Patrick Jane as her spouse.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," He frowned and she let her gaze drift to the little one in her arms.

"It's just for tonight Reeses. Now c'mon before the bed gets cold." There was no point in arguing any further. She hadn't planned to say 'no' anyway so when he offered his hand, she slipped hers into it and let him gently pull her up. They both made sure that Bear wasn't jostled too much in the process - they'd learned early on that you did not interrupt the feisty little baby's meals.

With her child cradled into her chest, Lisbon let Jane lead the way back to the master bedroom. The brief journey was a little colder than she remembered but that was probably due to the fact that she was a bit exposed. It didn't matter, they were alone in the big house and she didn't really think twice about her lack of clothing. Just last week, they'd been naked in the kitchen. Her face turned pink at just the memory of how they'd ended up that way. A rush of heat coursed through her veins and she let her gaze drop to her husband's backside as he stepped into their room. She'd never see their marble counter tops the same way ever again but it certainly hadn't been a bad experience. Her eyes lingered until he turned around to face her and she almost crashed into him.

"Easy there. Don't wanna crush our Bree Bear because you were fantasizing about my sexual prowess, do you?" With an eyeroll, she maneuvered around him to perch herself on her side of the bed. Just to wipe the smirk off of his face, she grabbed one of his favorite pillows and placed it over her own. It worked. The grin vanished and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to prevent her own from showing. "Well, now that's just uncalled for."

"It's for Aubry." They both knew it wasn't but Lisbon leaned back against the extra pillow before he could snatch it away. She propped herself up at an angle for the baby to feed but it was still comfortable enough that if she fell back asleep she wouldn't wake up sore in all the wrong places. Her eyes were heavy and drooped when Jane crawled in next to her. He closed the distance between them, resting his head near hers on the same pillow and trapping her leg between his. It always caused Lisbon's chest to tighten when she watched him with their tiny daughter and tonight was one of the beautiful moments she loved so much. He placed his hand over Aubry and kissed her head, letting his mouth linger on her short dark hair. He didn't move and she knew that he was thinking about the dream he'd had.

The silence settled between them easily. There was nothing much to say. Their daughter was falling asleep cuddled into her mother's warmth and when Jane pulled the blankets up around them, everything just felt completely right. The world outside didn't matter. The fact that they both knew the evils of humanity was forgotten. Aubry was in dreamland first, her body relaxing as Lisbon carefully eased her around so she could readjust her clothing to cover herself. Not that Jane minded the view judging by his slight grunt of protest. She gave him a sleepy smile before placing their baby between them and snuggling down into the pillows. She watched him, lying on her side, as he lightly nuzzled Aubry's cheek. Her eyes slipped shut for a second but opened immediately when his voice broke through the quiet.

"I needed this - to hold my girls."

"Shh, Patrick just rest." She was tired and she wanted him to be quiet so he wouldn't wake the baby and so she could get some sleep as well.

"We should go on a date tonight."

"We're married and it always ends in disaster." The reply was out before she thought about it but his chuckle proved he didn't take it the wrong way. With her eyes closed once again, she kissed her baby's temple and let out a little sigh.

"I want to take you out." She kept her eyes shut but her brow still furrowed. "C'mon sweetheart, we never had a real anniversary celebration."

"Our anniversary was awhile ago."

"Yes it was and we didn't do anything for it. Let me take you to dinner." Her reluctance probably showed but she gave in with a nod against her pillow. He clearly had something already planned or he wouldn't have pushed it at such an odd hour. "Perfect. Grace already said she'd gladly watch our little peach."

"I don't want to be gone very long."

"Trust me."

"I do but Aubry needs us." Lisbon knew it bothered him as much as it did her so she was a bit shocked that he wanted to leave their baby girl for so long. "I mean, Grace is great with her and I trust her but I just..."

"I know. Sleep Teresa." With a huff, she didn't say another word but that didn't mean she wasn't thinking about all the things that could happen while they were out. Her mind tortured her enough while she was at work, making her call the sitter at least once a day just to make sure everything was okay. Maybe she was being too protective. She'd go to dinner with her husband and she'd have a good time. Hopefully.

* * *

The restaurant was a little too expensive for Lisbon's taste. The food a little too exotic and the portions were kind of small. She was still hungry, her stomach growling beneath the thin black fabric of her dress. She wasn't against fancy restaurants, in fact, she enjoyed them sometimes but this one just wasn't her cup of tea. Jane liked it though, she could tell and that was why she didn't say anything when he ordered dessert. She passed it up and got her phone out of her clutch. No messages. Aubry was okay, surely she was.

"Hon, put it down."

"I'm sorry, I just worry." He took a bite of whatever chocolate concoction he was eating and she tried to relax. It didn't work so well.

"So do I but I also know that Grace would call if anything at all happened." Her companion made a good point. With a defeated sigh, Lisbon brushed her hair behind her ear and started to nervously tap her nails against the table. She wasn't trying to make her husband hurry but he dropped his fork and reached for her hand to stop her fingers from hitting the red cloth again.

"Sorry."

"You're not having a good time."

"I am, really, I - "

"No, you're not. Don't lie." She'd ruined their night from the moment they left the house. It wasn't so much from her worry of leaving her daughter either. It was just the perils of the day catching up with her and the fact that she'd given in to the thought of their date ending like their past attempts. She'd set them up to fail. What kind of wife was she?

"Patrick, I really am sorry. I'm trying."

"We can go." He motioned toward the door and she shook her head. She was not about to completely mess it all up. Jane had obviously put a lot of thought and time into this date night. They were seated in one of the finest restaurants. One that she knew for a fact, you had to have reservations for weeks in advance.

"No, no! Finish your dessert, I'm fine."

"I don't mean to embarrass you my dear, but I can hear your stomach growling and to be honest, this," He poked the dessert on his plate to emphasize his statement. "isn't all that great. I want you to have a good time. Obviously you aren't so let's just get out of here."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing." He stood and she followed suit, wondering if he planned to pay or not. He made no move for his wallet. "Besides, not like I have to pay for it anyway."

"What?" The smile that bloomed on his face was one of being pleased with himself. Usually that very grin caused her headaches and mountains of paperwork. She groaned at just the thought of him getting into some sort of trouble. The man never gave it a rest, did he?

"Owner owed me. C'mon." She wanted to ask what he meant but he was gently pushing her in the direction of the exit before she had the chance. They passed tables with other couples and she wondered if anyone even noticed that they didn't pay. "Calm down, it was a favor. It's not like we just stole something."

She hated that he knew exactly what she was thinking. Forgive her for not exactly trusting her dear other half when it came to being honest about things like that. Guilt started to settle in the pit of her stomach and she felt like she needed to do something to make it up to him. She'd ruined the date. All because she expected it to end badly no matter what they did. Even though she missed her baby, she could have tried harder to have a good time. Jane missed Aubry too but he'd still tried. He'd put so much into it. She felt awful.

The breeze that hit her when they stepped out onto the sidewalk whipped her hair around and made it a little difficult to see where she was going but the arm that wrapped around her waist steered her easily. Relaxing into his side, she let him lead her and didn't say anything in fear of making the situation worse somehow. He didn't act upset at all - in fact, he seemed fine but she wasn't about to jump into conversation as if she hadn't been the reason their date had ended just forty minutes after it started.

"This way." Her feet stopped moving and she gave him a look of confusion. Their car was in the complete opposite direction and yet he was gently tugging her away from it.

"Our car is over there."

"Since when do you consider my 'contraption' - as you call her - ours?" It didn't escape her notice that he hadn't offered up any information on why they were moving away from said 'contraption'.

"Is that really relevant? Where are we going?" To be honest, Lisbon had no idea when she started considering his possessions as 'theirs' let alone when she decided his car fell into that category.

"For a walk." She wanted to protest, tell him that they needed to get home to Aubry but she just couldn't form the words. Technically, she had no right to squash another one of his plans. Even though she wanted to go home, she let him pull her towards the park across the street. Just a short stroll wouldn't hurt and she almost felt obligated to agree after ruining dinner.

She matched him step for step in her sensible heels as they made their way into the dimly lit trees and bushes. The park was beautiful at night with it's lights strategically placed, Lisbon would admit that much but she still hadn't felt the weight in her chest lift. She still wasn't having a great time. A small smile did capture her lips when she noticed the sound of jazz in the air. Choosing not to mention the sound that grew louder as they walked along the path, she wrapped her arm around his waist and gave his side a squeeze. Perhaps the date wasn't a complete fail just yet. It didn't surprise her a bit when he glanced down at her and spoke.

"Do you want to talk about it?" The words didn't startle her. She'd been expecting them almost all evening.

"There's not a lot to discuss."

"Sure there is. If something bothers you, it bothers me too." He was right, of course and it was probably better to talk about it than just bottle it up but at times, she still kept things locked away. "Cases involving children are always hard."

"Yes they are." The warmth of his arm around her intensified when he pulled her tighter against his side.

"She's a twisted woman and we put her away for the rest of her miserable life. That's a good thing." Twisted wasn't the word Lisbon would have used but it fit. Who else would've killed their two children just so their ex-spouse couldn't see them?

"I'd never keep Aubry from you. If we ever got a divorce or separated, I'd let you see her whenever you wanted." For a few seconds, she thought she might have upset him but then he finally chuckled as if he'd been amused by her little outburst.

"You're stuck with me, my dear." It wasn't anything new. Lisbon had accepted the fact that they were probably always going to be together. They'd been through plenty of turmoil thus far and while it was a little shaky sometimes, neither of them ever just walked away with no intention of returning. She took that as a good sign. "Let's hurry, we're missing out."

And there it was. The sight in front of them was beautiful, lights strung up between the trees and random chairs littered about to watch the small jazz concert that her wonderfully secretive husband had to know about. She'd been watching for people with instruments since she noticed the sounds of saxophones and trumpets coming from within the park. He'd planned this little walk from the very beginning. With a smile, she took the lead and tugged him over to join the people already sitting and enjoying the music.

"You did this on purpose." They stood near the back for privacy and Lisbon's smile bloomed brighter when Jane wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Meh." His answer was whispered against her ear and sent a chill down her spine. He'd done good. She had to admit that her mood had improved.

"Dinner was never actually part of the plan, was it?"

"Yes but I'll admit that I used it to prove a point." Relaxing back into him, she felt the tension drain from her body. This was exactly what she'd needed. It was her more her style and it warmed her heart that Jane had known she'd enjoy it.

"What point was that?"

"None of our dates have ended in disaster. They ended perfectly." She opened her mouth to mention the flat tire from their first date but he cut her off. "We're not the fancy quiet dinner type. Other people may think its the perfect romantic date but this right here is us and admit it, you're having a good time now."

"I am."

"Does this mean I'll be able to take my wife on dates more than once a year?" Tossing a playful smirk over her shoulder at him, Lisbon seductively whispered her reply while swaying to the music.

"That depends on how tonight ends." He hadn't expected her to say such a thing in public. It was obvious in the way his breath hitched in his throat and how his eyes widened just a bit. Her laugh was low and husky when his fingers playfully dug into her stomach. "Be good."

"I'm always good." She rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the older man playing the saxophone. Yeah, she missed her daughter but she knew she was in good hands and this was worth it. Maybe Jane was right. Their dates hadn't been so bad. At least, this one seemed to be perfect. "Did I tell you that you look beautiful?"

"No, actually you didn't."

"Hm, my mistake. Well, you look absolutely stunning. I'm by far, the luckiest man here." Face tinging pink, Lisbon let his words wash over her. She hadn't done much to alter her appearance for their night out. Her hair was still down and straight, she didn't have a whole lot of makeup on. Pretty much the only thing she'd done was change into her black cocktail length dress. She wasn't about to dispute his compliment though. If he thought she was the best looking woman there then who was she to argue? She felt his lips press against her neck in a warm kiss and couldn't stop the sigh that escaped.

When she let her gaze wander, it didn't take more than two seconds before she saw something that she couldn't ignore. Squirming to get free from Jane's hold, she felt excitement bubble in her chest. He tried to pull her back but she shook her head and gestured to the boxes next to the makeshift stage. Before he could say anything more she was halfway to the giant box with bright red marker advertising it's contents on the side. Part of her just knew that Jane would follow although she didn't really care if he didn't.

There was a man sitting behind the box and she quickly decided he had to be part of the instrumental group. He was dressed in the same shirt and slacks as the rest of the performers. She was more concerned over the two squirmy little beings inside the carboard.

"Hello, enjoying the show?"

"Yes, I am, thank you." Jane's hand was on her back before she could say another word. He'd followed. "So is this like a new thing? Come to a jazz show, get a free puppy?"

"Well I figured it was better than sitting outside of a Walmart for hours on end." The man made a good point. "Besides it's hard to get rid of these little rascals, people tend to think the worst of Pit Bulls."

Lisbon wasn't one of those people and before she could stop herself, she lifted one of the puppies from the box. Her heart clenched in her chest when she saw the cute little face staring back at her. Her love of dogs was definitely shining through.

"Look at you. You're a cute little thing."

"That one's a girl. She's a lover." Unable to resist, she cuddled the pup closer and reached into the box for another. The one in her hand was solid white and completely precious but a feisty one chewing on the cardboard caught her attention. Carefully pulling the blue and white pup out, she noticed Jane smiling at her. It was true, she had a thing for troublemakers.

"Which one do you want? I guess we can take both."

"Wha- no! We can't. I just wanted to pet them."

"Sure we can. We have plenty of room." He was right. The yard was huge and there were more than enough rooms in the house but they couldn't just bring two puppies home.

"We have our hands full with Aubry. Maybe in a year or so." She loved dogs but it wasn't the right time to bring one into the family. They were still figuring out the whole having a baby thing. Honestly, she'd come over just to see and pet them. They were adorable and she wanted to take them home but she knew better than to give in. A little saddened, Lisbon placed the two pups back into the box and apologized to the owner. "I'm sorry, I was just looking."

"That's fine. They love the attention." Judging by the way they were both jumping up and trying to lick her hands, she'd have to say that statement was true.

"C'mon Patrick, let's leave the man and his puppies alone." The pensive look on her husband's face worried her for a moment but it disappeared as quickly as it appeared so she chose not to say anything. "Thank you for letting us look, they're adorable."

"If you change your mind before the end of the show, you know where to find me." His smile was kind and she returned it before she moved to walk away. She could've stayed and played with the puppies but then she would have left with both of them in her arms. They didn't need any additions to the house yet. With one last look over her shoulder, she said goodbye to the whining pups.

The rest of the show, she found herself swaying with Jane. Not really dancing, just shuffling back and forth as the music drifted through the air. It was something she hadn't even thought of doing. She wasn't sure how Jane had known about the little concert in the park but she was glad he'd brought her. It wasn't extravagant, in fact they were kind of over dressed but she'd never felt so comfortable in the middle of people she didn't know.

When the music had ended and they were walking the path back out of the park, Lisbon leaned in to kiss Jane's cheek and whisper against his skin. She knew he loved it when she did that.

"You were right." He shivered when she pulled back.

"Well I usually am, but uh, what was I right about?"

"This whole date thing. It was nice but I miss Bear." He smiled at her and she could see that he missed their little one too. It was hard to be away from her when she was still so tiny. It always made her feel like she was going to miss something important.

"Are you ready to go home?"

"Yeah, I hate to cut our night short but -"

"It's fine Reeses. I'm ready to go too, besides we have to stop on the way for some Chinese." She said nothing but her stomach growled in approval. She'd actually forgotten she was hungry.

"I had a great time but for future reference, maybe our date nights could be a movie and snuggling on the couch with only an occasional night out."

"Snuggling? Cuddling is a much better term."

"No it's not."

"Oh trust me, it is."

"It is not." Their playful arguing continued as they made their way to the car and Lisbon silently retracted her statement about their dates. This one was perfect - well perfect for them.

**a/n: Look at that, they had a semi-normal date! I had to toss in the bit with the puppies because I'm a HUGE dog lover...more like animal lover...but I felt the need to tease Lisbon's inner dog lover. I'm going to start skipping around a bit because I want to show some of Aubry's milestones as well as random family moments and tribulations. **

**Next: _"Your brother has a girlfriend, he's taking her out tonight. That's why we're babysitting Jojo."_**

_**"What? No he doesn't." The shrug he gave was his only reply. "He'd tell me if he met someone."**_

**_"Well, maybe. Unless he knows you wouldn't approve or it could be payback for the whole getting-married-without-telling-him thing."_ **


	43. Chapter 43

**Disclaimer: Not owning it.  
**

**A/N: Okay, so I'm finally updating things. Let's just say, a lot has happened in the last several months. I live alone. I'm no longer in college and I have a dead end job that barely pays my bills. Yup. I've joined adulthood. Good news is that there's a job interview Monday for a science job that pays quite well and then maybe I can get internet and TV so I can actually watch the next season in my own house.  
**

**Oh and I'm also writing a book and that's been taking up quite a bit of time. :D I'm absolutely in love with my lead character.  
**

It wasn't the sound of a phone ringing or an alarm that woke Lisbon from her sleep. It wasn't a baby crying, like usual. No it was the cute sound of giggling and oddly enough sneezing that had her rolling out of bed. With a yawn and some slight fumbling, she climbed off the comfortable king size mattress. Her family was calling her.

The sneezes continued as did the giggling and it wasn't hard to figure out who was who by the sounds. Their six month old daughter was the culprit for the laughter. She knew that adorable little chuckle anywhere. The sneezing however, concerned her a bit. When she entered the kitchen to see her two favorite people, she grew even more concerned.

Her bubbly baby was being fed - well sort of - by a pale man currently in a sneeze attack. Uh oh. Without a word, she took the bowl of baby food from him before it spilled. Aubry clapped happily and reached for her mom. She gave her daughter a kiss to her forehead before she shot a look to her doubled over husband.

"You're sick."

"I'm okay, it's just allergies." She didn't believe him. He looked terrible, his skin was gray and clammy and he just seemed drained of energy. She'd only been in the room five minutes and could see that.

However, their adorable baby girl found it rather funny that her daddy wasn't up to his usual. The giggling had stopped but she still let out a squeal of excitement while reaching for the bowl her mother had confiscated. Lisbon gave her a spoonful before she worriedly ran her hand through Jane's curls. He needed a haircut but she wouldn't complain. When her fingers brushed his forehead, her eyes widened and the baby food was placed down on the corner of the highchair.

"You're burning up." Aubry watched with wide green eyes as her mother grasped her father's face in her hands. She was oblivious to what was happening but Lisbon was starting to panic. The maternal side had her heart racing. He was so hot. She'd never seen him sick. They'd been married close to two years but he had never been sick - at least not like this. Sure he'd had a cold once, but that was different. "Go lie down, I'll bring you something to eat and some medicine as soon as I feed Aubry."

"I feel fine, Reeses." He tried to smile but even that was lacking its usual luster. "Bree Bear, tell momma I'm fine."

Instead of blabbering a response like usual, the baby just looked at him. All her smiling and giggling had ceased. It looked as though even his daughter - his partner in crime - was letting him down on this one.

"She's about as convinced as I am. Go back to bed." There was reluctance in his gaze but she gently shoved at his chest until he finally turned with a sigh and headed for the stairs.

He definitely didn't feel well. He'd given up the battle entirely too easily for her liking. She stared after him for a few minutes just to make sure he wasn't going to come back down but then her attention was drawn back to the kitchen when a loud clatter made her jump. Her head snapped around to see a smiling Aubry and a mess of baby food on the floor. The bowl had been knocked off and her daughter seemed to be glowing with pride.

"You are definitely your father's daughter." The grin on her round little face only grew. "Same smile."

Lisbon couldn't be mad. She was the one that left it within the baby's reach. She grabbed some paper towels from the counter and ruffled the dark waves on Aubry's head. Her silly little beautiful baby. A complete mischief maker already and she wasn't even a year old yet. It was clearly in her genes.

"Can you say 'Mama'?" Being only six months old, there wasn't a whole lot the tiny one could say but she babbled and Lisbon and Jane had a bet going on whether she'd say 'mama' or 'dada' first. Lisbon was determined to win and what better time to try and coerce her daughter into speaking than while on her hands and knees cleaning the baby food off the floor.

Aubry just looked down at her, smiled, and smacked her palms against the tray of the highchair. She babbled something that Lisbon was sure she didn't understand herself and then giggled. At least they'd managed to make a happy child. Well, for the most part their little darling was happy but when she got mad, she was her mother's daughter.

Jane had been the first to point out that the little one had a temper and had already mastered scowling and intimidating glares. It probably helped that she looked a lot like her mother. All dark waves and green eyes.

Lisbon had a smile on her face after she tossed the paper towels. Aubry reached up for her and she picked her up, pressing her face into the baby's cheek. She always smelled so good. Baby lotion, powder, and a mix of something so sweet that Lisbon couldn't place.

"Daddy's sick, Bear, so you're gonna have to tough it out in daycare for the day." She wasn't about to leave their daughter with him when he was running a fever and needed to rest.

Normally, Aubry never saw the inside of the daycare much. Only if a really interesting case came along. Jane stayed at home most days - he was a stay-at-home dad. It worked for them. He still called regularly to pester her into giving him details about whatever case she was working and she even brought some files home with her sometimes to share.

"Let's get you dressed, pretty girl."

* * *

Both parties were dressed and ready for the day when Lisbon carried Aubry into the master bedroom. She wanted to check on Jane before she left, just to make sure he was okay and leave some medicine on the bedside table for him. A fond smile took over her features when she saw him. He was face down in the pillow, arms and legs thrown about and she was pretty sure he was snoring just a little.

"Look at that, Bear, daddy is silly even when he's sleeping." Or maybe she was silly for pointing and expecting the kid to know exactly what she was talking about. Meh. Oh goodness, she really had been around Jane way too much.

Aubry patted her cheek and giggled. Maybe she did understand.

"Let's go tell him bye-bye." Baby on hip, she made her way towards the bed. She carefully sat on the edge of the mattress, and rested Aubry in her lap before she put the medicine next to the lamp.

"Patrick," Her fingers carded through his curls and felt the dampness. She leaned in to kiss his cheek and that was when he stirred. His body rolled toward her as if seeking her warmth and his eyes slowly opened. "Hey, we're fixing to leave. I have to pick up Jojo on the way home so it'll be about seven or eight before we get back."

"Your brother has a girlfriend, he's taking her out tonight. That's why we're babysitting Jojo."

"What? No he doesn't." The shrug he gave was his only reply. "He'd tell me if he met someone."

"Well, maybe. Unless he knows you wouldn't approve or it could be payback for the whole getting-married-without-telling-him thing."

"You have a fever, you're delusional." His smirk was the only reply but her hand drifted up to his forehead. Still hot. Maybe she should call in - take him to the hospital.

"I'm fine. Go to work, wifey." Yep. He was delusional and more so than usual. "Let me cuddle my baby before you take her to that dreaded institution that I don't approve of."

"Its daycare, not prison." She wanted to protest - but knew he wouldn't settle back down until she let him have at least one hug. "Alright, but if she gets sick..."

"I'm pretty sure I caught it from her." He reached for Aubry, grabbing her sides and lifting her from Lisbon's hold. "Hey baby girl, you be good for Mama. Don't give her too much trouble."

"Shouldn't you be telling her to be good for the daycare people?"

"Give them hell, Bear." Lisbon rolled her eyes and whacked him on the head playfully.

"I think if anyone needs to behave, it's you." Despite that he was under the weather, the playful glint was still there and he just smiled at her before kissing the tiny baby hand grabbing for his nose. "Okay you two, not to cut daddy/daughter time short but I'm gonna be late."

He gave Aubry a kiss on the forehead and then turned to Lisbon. She shook her head and leaned away. He feigned a hurt expression but she didn't buy it. With an exaggerated sigh, she gave in and gave him a peck on the lips. He tugged her closer, mindful not to crush their playful bundle of joy as he ran a hand up her ribs and nipped at her closed mouth.

Even sick, he was still so damn good at using those soft lips of his. Her defenses dropped almost immediately and she let him deepen the kiss. All teeth and tongue, jumbled together and escalating. If it wasn't for Aubry's giggle, she probably would have crawled back in the bed with him and let him strip her out of the clothes she'd just put on. But the sound of her little girl pulled her out of her Jane induced stupor and she broke the kiss.

"I better not get sick or you are in for it, Mr. Jane." He hummed against her lips and stole another kiss - a quick one this time.

"You better go, you'll be late." As if she hadn't said the same thing a few minutes ago. She lifted Aubry from his arms and cradled her to her chest.

"Wave to daddy." Smiles lit up both of their faces as their beautiful Bear did just that. Her little hand moved jerkily but she managed. It was just too cute and Lisbon knew it was the last thing her husband had seen before he drifted back to sleep.

* * *

It would be wrong to do it. Lisbon knew that and yet there she was - staring at her computer screen and her fingers were itching. It was none of her business. But he was her baby brother and she didn't want to see him hurt...again. Watching him deal with the separation and divorce proceedings from his now ex-wife had been hard enough. She was just being a good big sister right? No. She couldn't do it. She could not run a background check on his new girlfriend.

It was bad enough that she'd used her lunch hour to go to his place and grill him about why he needed a babysitter that night. Ugh. This was all Jane's fault. He'd opened his big mouth and now she was in protective sister mode. Honestly though, what kind of name was Nellie? Okay, so there was nothing wrong with that name but still.

No. She wouldn't do it. She trusted her brother's judgment and she wasn't going to meddle in his personal life. Who was she to talk anyway? She'd married Jane on a whim and had to suffer through some of the most awkward situations with him. Most people still didn't understand when she tried explaining why they'd married. Hell, she didn't even understand. He never would give her a straight answer when she asked.

It didn't matter anymore, did it? They were happy. At least she was and she was pretty sure he felt the same. They had Aubry and they're a family. Her mind was starting to wander into dangerous territory so she quickly caught it and steered it back to her brother's new woman.

"Boss," Her head snapped up at the sound of Cho's voice. "we brought in Trenton. He looks good for it."

"Get a confession?"

"I thought you might want to do it." The rest of his sentence went unspoken but she heard it. He was worried because she'd been holed up in her office all day long and using paperwork as an excuse. She'd actually been trying to get Jane to answer her texts and calls. She was worried. Add that onto the deal with her brother and she had become stressed.

"Thanks but no thanks, you got this one, I'll watch."

"Are you okay boss?"

"I'm fine, Jane's sick and I'm a little stressed but I'm okay." She wouldn't get into the details or mention the thing about her brother. Cho didn't seem to accept her brush off. Instead he seemed even more intrigued.

"You're not uh, carrying another one of his minions are you?" Her mouth dropped open for a second, then snapped shut again. Minion? Was he really calling Aubry a minion? If it'd been anyone else she'd yell or hit them but it was Cho so she settled on a smile.

"No. I'm not pregnant again."

"You sure about that?"

"Yes, where is this coming from?" She was genuinely curious. This would make the second time someone on her team thought she was pregnant when she actually wasn't. First Van Pelt, before she and Jane had ever taken _that _step and now Cho.

"You haven't touched your coffee, you left on your lunch break and came back completely stressed, and anyone who happens to look in here will see you staring at the pictures of Jane and Aubry on your desk. Especially the one of all three of you. Not to mention you haven't gone out in the field in days."

"I'm not. I went to talk to my brother about some stuff. And Patrick's sick, he really didn't look too good this morning and he won't answer his phone now. So yes, I'm worried and stressed but that does not make me pregnant. I forgot I even had coffee sitting there and I hadn't noticed that I haven't been out of the office much." She watched his face but it gave nothing away - like usual.

"Okay." And then he was gone and she was left with her mind racing. Was everyone going crazy?

* * *

She was late. Lisbon had promised her brother that she'd be there right at seven but she'd been held up at the daycare when she went to get Aubry and then traffic had decided to be a bitch and she was now late. It was half past and she was just getting Aubry out of the car in front of his apartment.

"Jojo is coming to play tonight." A smile lit up Aubry's face and showed her two bottom teeth. It was that smile that melted Lisbon's stress away.

She was feeling lighter when she knocked on his door. But then a woman answered and her shoulders tensed once again.

"Hi, you must be Teresa." Okay, so she seemed polite enough. And she was pretty - in an adorably dorky kinda way. Way different from his ex. This woman was dressed for a casual date, nothing fancy.

"Uh, yes. I am. It's nice to meet you."

"Come on in, Jon is upstairs packing for Jojo." Lisbon stepped through the door and hesitated. She'd been over plenty and she was comfortable in her brother's house but not so much when a woman she didn't know was the one inviting her in. "I'm Nellie, by the way. Who is this adorable little thing?"

"This is Aubry, my daughter." As if the little one knew she had their attention, she grinned and hid her face in her mother's shoulder.

"Jon didn't mention that you have kids. He talks about you a lot."

"Just the one kid and it's probably because he was hoping for a nephew but don't let him fool you, he's wrapped around her finger." They shared a smile and Lisbon hated to admit it but she was kinda liking this one.

Before an awkward silence could settle, Jon was walking down the stairs, a bag in one hand and Jojo holding on to the other. She was so big now. Walking and talking like a pro - well for the most part.

"Bree! Bree!" Upon seeing the baby in Lisbon's arms, Jojo abandoned her father on the stairs and bolted towards her Aunt. Lisbon knew Jolisa loved her little cousin and without a second thought, she put Aubry down to play for a few minutes.

"I see how it is. I bring the baby and I don't get a hug from my favorite niece."

"Get used to it. I'm her father and she passes me over for Nellie. All kids love the fun babysitter."

Lisbon froze. Babysitter?

"Hey, Jon-Jon, can I talk to you for a second...in the kitchen." She watched his brow furrow. "Nellie do you mind, I mean I can take Aubry with me, it's just some family stuff."

"No, not at all. She's perfectly fine." Lisbon thanked her, tugged Jon by the arm and the second they rounded the corner she turned on him and whispered harshly.

"The babysitter? She's your babysitter?"

"Whoa! Don't turn this into an attack, Tessa. We really like each other and she's amazing, I mean just look at her. She's good with Jolisa and obviously you like her a little bit or Aubry wouldn't be in there with her." He made a valid point.

"That's beside the point, she's your babysitter Jon. This is terrible."

"You know what, you're awfully quick to judge."

"What's that supposed to mean?" This wasn't turning out the way she'd intended.

"It means, you married your consultant without a heads up to _anyone_ - including yourself -and then you were miserable. Yeah, you're happy now and you have a baby but really Teresa, you have no room to talk when you still don't have a damn clue as to why that man is your husband." She flinched away, stepped back and dropped her head. Straight for the gut.

"Jon..."

"I know you love him and I know he's head over heels for you. That's why I keep my mouth shut, so for once, could you just do the same?" Angry and hurt, she nodded. Tears were welling up in her eyes and she just wanted to get out before he saw them.

Of all the things he could have said, she hadn't expected that.

"I'll uh, just get the girls. Jane's not feeling well and I need to get home."

"I can cancel if he's sick."

"No, s'fine. He called a couple hours ago, feeling much better but I worry." She fled the room before he could push anymore. She swiftly lifted Aubry from the floor and reached for Jojo's hand. She didn't say goodbye but she let Jojo hug and kiss her daddy before leading the toddler out the door and to the car.

The drive home was relatively a quiet one, Jojo asked a few questions but then settled in to play with Aubry. It left Lisbon with her thoughts. And those were verging on tipping the dangerous scale. Why had Jon gone straight for the heart shot? She was just worried about him. Perhaps she should have handled it better but he was her brother and she wanted him safe.

She didn't realize she'd let a few tears slip out until she pulled up in front of the house and parked the car. As efficiently as possible, she unbuckled each child and grabbed the bag for Jojo. With a child on her hip and one holding tightly to her hand, she somehow made it to the door and even opened it without dropping anything. As soon as they were in the foyer, Jojo had let go of her hand and barreled up the stairs. She could move for such a little thing.

"Jojo, honey, slow down." The kid knew exactly where her room was - it didn't even matter that she shared with the baby. She was always so excited to visit.

Lisbon dropped the bag and settled Aubry in the playpen. She needed to get her fed and bathed and down for the night before she turned into one fussy baby. Without thinking, she swiped at her cheeks and headed for the kitchen to prepare a bottle. She was on auto-pilot.

Jane. She needed to check on him make sure he was...

"Hey, look who I found snooping around upstairs." The man had impeccable timing. She turned towards him and smiled when she saw that he had Jojo thrown upside down over his shoulder. Her giggling and his bright smile weren't quite enough to erase the guilt, anger, and hurt in her chest but it helped.

Her hand met his forehead and she let out a sigh of relief. He felt normal - not too hot, not too cold.

"Put me down!"

"Never! You woke the beast and now he's gonna hold you captive."

"Help, Esa, help!" With an eye roll at Jane, Lisbon grabbed the toddler from him and sat her upright on the floor.

"Better hurry or he'll chase you." Her little green eyes widened and she took off giggling the whole way. They knew exactly where she went, by the squeal of excitement that Aubry let out.

"You okay, hon?"

"I should be asking you that. You're the one who was running a fever this morning."

"I feel better." As if to prove his point, his arms shot out to encircle her waist and pull her closer. He dropped his forehead to rest against hers and she let herself enjoy the moment. "But you are really tense."

"I'm okay. I just said some things I shouldn't have to Jon and he said some things too."

"How 'bout, I wrangle the kids and you go soak in the tub. Relax some." It was tempting but she wasn't about to just ditch the babysitting duties when she'd been the one to agree.

"Maybe after we put them to bed." She added the 'we' just so he'd know she wanted him in the tub with her.

"Alright, you take one and I'll take one." He sounded so serious that she couldn't hold back a small laugh. Her eyes closed and she nudged her nose against his.

"You make it sound like they're terrible."

"Not at all." His lips pushed lovingly against her own and she returned the motion in kind. "I'll finish making Aubry's bottle, you go watch the rascals."

**a/n: I split this chapter into two parts because it was getting so long and I wanted to separate them because of a 'bump' that arises with our favorite couple. Can't always be smooth sailing. **

**Next: _"I ran the bath."_**_** His hand slid beneath the waistband of her pants to tease the skin of her hip. She could feel herself practically ignite just from the small touch. "Even lit some candles."  
**_

_**"We have two kids sleeping in the next room. Both under the age of four, Patrick."  
**_

**_"Then consider it practice for when we have a whole house full, besides, you're the one who suggested it." Every muscle in her body went rigid. His hand stopped stroking her hip and she couldn't stop herself from swallowing roughly. They hadn't talked about that. Why was everyone mentioning babies?_  
**


	44. Chapter 44

**Disclaimer: Nope.  
**

**A/N: Hi. Look at me, updating like a boss.  
**

The kids were down for the night - Lisbon had just left the nursery and both girls were curled up safe and sound in their matching purple footie pajamas. She was exhausted and it was only nine. With a sigh, she scrubbed her hand down her face and headed for her bedroom.

She barely made it through the doorway and to the dresser before a pair of arms immediately wrapped around her from behind. A smile tugged at her lips as Jane's warm mouth pressed to her neck. He was doing a good job at making her forget the anger and hurt lingering from her brother's words.

"I ran the bath." His hand slid beneath the waistband of her pants to tease the skin of her hip. She could feel herself practically ignite just from the small touch. "Even lit some candles."

"We have two kids sleeping in the next room. Both under the age of four, Patrick."

"Then consider it practice for when we have a whole house full, besides, you're the one who suggested it." Every muscle in her body went rigid. His hand stopped stroking her hip and she couldn't stop herself from swallowing roughly. They hadn't talked about that. Why was everyone mentioning babies?

"Mm, I did."

"Then what's wrong?" She gave a shrug and turned in his arms to face him. "Is this about whatever Jon said to you?"

"No...yes. Maybe."

"Wanna talk about it?" He was being sweet and she was in a mood and it wasn't his fault. She knew it wasn't his fault and yet there she was, trying to get out of spending time with him just so she could sulk alone. Almost two years and she still tried to run sometimes. Well, not this time. No, she was going to tell him and they were going to talk.

With a nod, she grabbed his hands and led him into their bathroom. He seemed to understand that she didn't want to say anything until submerged in the hot water because he let her strip down without a single teasing remark or playful touch. She waited until he was naked and easing himself into the water before she stepped over the edge of the tub. He held her to steady her and when she finally sank beneath the bubbles with her back to his chest, the weight on her shoulders eased a bit.

Maybe she had really needed this. The bubbles, the smell of lavender, the candles and the deliciously warm water that eased her tired muscles. Jane's warm wet fingers gathered her hair - making her smile - and secured it in a hair tie that she kept next to the tub for just that purpose. Her sigh echoed off the walls and still he waited but she knew the man was rather impatient when it came to things like this - she had maybe five more minutes before he'd gently prod her side with his hand and start asking questions.

She had three seconds however until he spoke. Three. Two. One.

"I hate these bubbles. They cling." So predictable. He sounded like a child and she let out a small laugh.

"Then why did you use them?"

"Because you love bubble baths." Her breath caught in her throat - she'd married a wonderful man. Frustrating. Childish. Rather annoying. But a good man. Her voice was small and soft when she started to explain.

"Jon's dating Jojo's babysitter."

"Nellie? Oh, she's a sweetheart."

"I might've told him that he's being stupid and it's a terrible idea." She sounded sheepish and it took her moment to realize that she was embarrassed by her own behavior. "I should've handled it better."

"I'm sure you'll make up. He's your brother - he knows you're just being protective." Tears pricked her eyes and she felt her shoulders shake. She did not want to cry. She didn't but he was stroking her ribs and pressing kisses to her head and she just couldn't deal. "Hey, shhh. Teresa, it'll be okay."

"He- he said that I don't have any room to talk because we married without even understanding why. He said I still don't have a clue and he's right. I don't know why. But I love you and Aubry so much."

"I know you do."

"But he's right. I don't know _why_." This time it was him that tensed. She felt it. Lisbon didn't want to fight but she was almost positive the conversation wouldn't end well.

"Yes you do." His voice was barely a whisper and one of his hands gripped her side. His fingers were digging in - as if he was afraid she'd jump out of the bath and run. His breath tickled her ear, his lips pressed against her skin and she realized that he wasn't about to start an argument. He was starting something else altogether. "Because I love you."

She expected that to be the end of it but his mouth closed over that sensitive spot beneath her ear and she let her fingers grip his thigh.

"Because I can't live without you." His fingers massaged her hip, dipping experimentally low. "Because I miss you when you're not around."

"Patrick,"

"Because there's no one else I could ever be with." Her eyes betrayed her, closing against her wishes when his pinky dipped into her navel. He grew quiet, let his mouth dance along her shoulder as his fingers danced further south. Her lips parted and her breathing quickened. Hadn't she protested? Said something along the lines of babies sleeping?

But now he was pressed against her back, she was slumped into him and his hand was dangerously close to dipping between her thighs and she wasn't doing a damn thing to stop him. In fact, one of her hands had tangled in his hair and she was trying not to mutter 'hurry up'.

Her back arched and she moaned when his hand finally slid between her legs to explore. The water sloshed, some bubbles spilled over but she couldn't care less. He paused and she felt his smile against her skin. Bastard. One of his fingers slipped through her folds and she expelled the pent up air from her lungs. Glorious lovable perfect bastard. She wanted him. Kids in the next room or no, she didn't care anymore. She wanted him and she needed to feel his lips on hers.

"You're sick." Some functioning part of her brain seemed to remember that he'd been barely able to function just hours ago.

"Hush." She did. She stopped thinking. She let herself be in the moment. Let herself feel his gentle insistent touch that was starting to drive her crazy. He was being too _soft. _"Because I wanted to be happy."

He dipped a finger inside her and she almost sobbed into his neck. His words were getting to her and she needed more than his gentle touch and teasing of his hand. She needed him but it felt so good and she was unable to move against him - except her hips which were lightly thrusting.

Her hand tightened on his curls and he grunted. She could feel him pressed against her back, knew he wanted more too but she was getting close and she didn't want him to stop. He sped up his motions and chuckled against her cheek when she cursed. Her muscles were tightening, her toes curling and her chest heaved. She bit her lip when his free hand caressed the side of her breast. Arching against him, she all but begged for him to touch.

He took the obvious hint and palmed her rounded flesh - she was pretty sure she bit through her lip. The tangy metallic taste of blood filled her mouth and she gasped when he pushed another finger inside her.

"Because I wanted to be the one to unravel you." If he kept talking, she was gonna burst. His voice was calming and exciting at the same time. She loved it when he was aroused - the gruff tone. "I wanted to be the only one to touch you like this."

And she was done. Her back arched and she let out a keen against his neck - he tasted salty like sweat and something uniquely Jane. Her body pulsed with pleasure - it exploded and sent shock waves through every cell in her body. Even in that moment of straining against the sensations taking over her - she _needed_ him. He eased her down, slowing his movements but not stopping. She whimpered and lifted her hips to chase after him when he slowly removed his hand from the slickness between her thighs.

It didn't matter that he wasn't answering quite the way she wanted. None of it mattered because she believed him. Every word he'd said - was saying - she believed each one that fell from his lips. Oh god, his lips. She needed them. Her breathing slowed to a somewhat normal pace and as soon as she was sure her legs could handle it, she turned.

He groaned when she straddled his thighs and let a hand wrap around him. The bubbles sloshed when he shifted against her and they shared a secret smile - the last time they'd done this, they'd had to use six towels to clean the water off the floor. Her mouth slanted over his and she let him join their bodies with an easy thrust.

"Slow this time, Teresa. I'd like to keep the water inside the tub." She smirked into his mouth, letting her tongue dance with his but she listened. They did a slow dance, using their bodies to say the things that they were holding inside. So much had happened and she was trying to deal with all of it. Her brother. Things Cho had said. Stuff about babies.

"I don't know if I want more kids." It slipped out on a down stroke and she had no idea why. Of all the things to say while intimately connected to her husband with her mouth parted over his.

"Teresa..."

"Sorry." She sped up their movements and he grabbed her hips to still her. She didn't let him - just chose that moment to grind into him. The growl that left his lips vibrated down her throat and into her chest. The water splashed against the side in a wave when she rolled her hips.

"Because I knew you'd be so damn perfect at that."

"Faster, Patrick, please." He didn't fight her, just slipped his hands down to hold onto her thighs.

"Because I wanted to call you family."

"Patr..." His teeth nipped at her neck, her shoulder. Oh, she'd needed this - even if she'd tried to deny it. Needed his touch and his love. He was soothing. He was home. He was safe. "I love you."

The water spilled over the sides, she heard it hit the floor with a splash and she didn't care. His thrusts were getting sloppy, a little jerky and she pulled him closer. Her arms wrapped around his neck, holding him as close as possible. She felt his mouth open against her skin, his tongue darted out to taste and she couldn't stop the noise that escaped from her lips. He shushed her, shook against her as a groan ripped from him and she teasingly shushed him back and twisted her hips.

She knew the moment he stilled beneath her and bit into her shoulder that he'd given in. The sting brought by his teeth launched her with him into the black, blinding abyss. Her brain fogged and she almost didn't hear him speak.

"Because I wanted to be happy," She smiled into his cheek, almost told him that he'd already said that when he pulled back to look her in the eye and whispered almost sadly against her lips: "Because he said I couldn't."

Her smile fell, her hand met his cheek and she knew he'd just admitted something so private that he'd been terrified to tell her. She could see it in his eyes. He was scared of how she'd react.

"Red John?" He nodded once. "So, you really did ask because of..."

"No, I just - "

"I'm not mad. I'm not upset." She wasn't - maybe a little but mostly she was relieved because now she knew_ why._ She could understand their marriage better.

"I should've just told you but I knew you wouldn't say yes and I couldn't let him take you too."

"S'okay." She nudged his forehead with hers and stroked her hand over his ear. "We're here. We have a beautiful daughter and nothing is going to change that."

"Speaking of Bear - it's okay if she's our only child."

"You heard that, I was kinda hoping you were too caught up in the moment." Her cheeks were red from their activities but she could feel them burning hotter in embarrassment. "Everybody just keeps mentioning babies and I don't know. Aubry is still a baby and maybe in a few years...but Cho asked if I was pregnant again and it just made me think too much."

"Let's get out of here - the water is going cold." Lisbon knew that was his way of saying they should continue the conversation elsewhere. She pressed a soft kiss to his lips before she lifted from his lap. They both winced at the loss of contact and with shaky legs, she climbed out of the tub.

They dried off in silence but the warmth of his gaze stayed on her. He still seemed afraid that she wasn't okay with what he'd finally admitted. Oddly, she felt better. About everything.

Throwing on a robe, she gave him a smile so he'd stop staring at her like she was gonna take their baby and run. She closed the distance between them, wrapped her arms around his waist and settled into his chest. He was standing in just a towel and she loved the feel of his heart against her cheek.

"I'm gonna go check on the kids, but I'll be right back." She stayed for a moment in his arms and let his hand soothe up and down her back. "I'm not going anywhere."

He let her go and she tried to hurry. She was just gonna peek in the nursery and make sure both Aubry and Jojo were still sleeping soundly. Then she'd return and cuddle with the man she'd left in the bathroom. There was nothing she wanted more than to just fall into bed and sleep in his arms.

He'd finally opened up - fully - about why he'd jumped the gun and asked her to marry him. Finally. The weight on her shoulders was gone. They'd both expressed their concerns and talked through them.

She opened the door to the nursery and looked in at the toddler bed and the crib. Jojo was still asleep with her little legs thrown out of the blanket and her fist curled under her chin. Lisbon let herself wonder what Aubry would be like when she was older. Would she sleep like that? With a content smile on her face, she turned to the crib.

Aubry wasn't sleeping. She was wide awake and her legs were kicking wildly. She wasn't making any noise but her eyes were open and searching the dimly lit room. Lisbon quietly walked over to her - the smile on the baby's round face was contagious and she returned it. She let her hand reach in to stroke Aubry's soft curls.

"Hey, baby girl. You're supposed to be sleeping." A giggle was the reply she got. "It's not funny."

Another set of giggles and Lisbon knew she'd have to get her out of the crib or she'd wake Jojo. Aubry was all too eager to be picked up. Her little hands waved in the air when her mother reached in for her.

"Why are you awake? You just went to bed." Okay, so it'd been two hours but still. Aubry patted her cheek and smiled - flashing her two bottom teeth. Maybe she wouldn't be so opposed to more children...just not yet. "Let's go see daddy."

At just the mention of her father, Aubry clapped her hands together and squealed in excitement. Oh, Lisbon knew she was in trouble when the little one could walk and talk. There would be no dealing with the two of them.

The second they'd entered the master bedroom and Aubry saw her father, she launched her little body towards him - almost falling out of Lisbon's hold. If it wasn't for both parents quick reflexes their adorable little Bear would have hit the floor.

"She wanted to see you." Jane smiled, taking his daughter and placing a kiss on Lisbon's forehead all in one swift motion.

"What are you doing up, Bree-Bear?" Her eyes crinkled as she jabbered in baby language as if she knew exactly what he'd asked and was giving him her best answer. Her hands waved and Lisbon could only smile at them. Maybe more wouldn't be such a bad idea. She could see Jane, asleep in their bed with two or three kids piled up on him, pillows thrown and blankets scattered.

She bit her lip and looked away as she stripped out her robe and headed for the dresser. She needed to find something to sleep in if their daughter was going to end up between them for the night and something told her that was exactly what would happen.

When she'd buttoned up on of her husband's shirts and turned back to look at them - she knew she was right. Jane had already got in the bed and Aubry was sitting up on his bare chest. Lisbon just shook her head and climbed in next to them.

"She's wide awake, aren't you baby?"

"I know. She's gonna be so cranky tomorrow." She almost groaned at the thought. Aubry was hell on wheels when she was cranky and Lisbon couldn't even complain because she got it from her.

"She gets it from you. The attitude."

"So you and everybody else - including Cho - has said." Aubry grinned and slapped her hands down against Jane's chest. Lisbon ruffled her hair and kissed her cheek. "Good girl. Show daddy who's boss."

"I'm surrounded by women, Reeses, I know who's boss."

"Very good answer, dear husband." His eyebrows wiggled playfully and the baby on his chest reached up to touch his face. The fond smile that took over both parents mouths showed how much they both loved their daughter. "I love both of you. Very much. I want you to know that when I said I wasn't sure if I ever wanted more kids, I didn't mean that I regret Aubry."

She hated that her voice cracked but she needed to say it. She could never regret something - someone - so perfect and happy and lovable. Jane reached for her, tugged her by the wrist until she was curled up into his side. He kissed her softly, his lips moved over hers in a rhythm that told her he knew. She touched his cheek, sliding her palm along the slightly prickly skin. He needed to shave but she didn't say that - no, she just smiled and when she felt the warmth of Aubry's little hand rest over her own, she had to let out a small laugh. Their child was so much like her father. She wanted the attention. Such a little drama queen.

Jane's hand closed over both of theirs. She couldn't have imagined a more perfect little moment and then it got better. The sound of little feet padded into the room and a whimper from beside the bed pulled their attention away from each other.

Lisbon looked over to see Jojo, with a teddy bear clutched to her chest and one hand rubbing at her eye. Her hair was falling out of her short wavy ponytail and it was absolutely adorable.

"Hey, Jo, wanna get up here?"

"Yeah." Her voice was small and filled with exhaustion. Lisbon helped her climb up in the king size bed and scooted so she could settle her in the middle. Aubry crawled from Jane's chest and seated herself next to Jojo - her hands went for the tendrils of hair around Jo's face.

"Aubry, no. Not nice." Her bottom lip stuck out, trembled a little and then her eyes narrowed in a glare that under other circumstances, Lisbon would have been proud of. "Don't even try that Miss Aubry Rose. I'm not letting you pull her hair."

"She looks just like you when she pouts. That cute little bottom lip and everything." Despite the fact that it'd prove him right, Lisbon pouted. He just smiled and smoothed down Aubry's hair. Her eyes were starting to droop - it was as if watching Jojo curl into Lisbon and close her eyes had been enough to remind the baby that it was bedtime. "Looks like someone is getting tired."

"I'm gonna go make her a warm bottle - see if that might help. Hold onto Jo, don't let her roll off."

"Teresa, it's a king size bed and I'm awake. She's safe." He flashed her a warm smile and Aubry waved when she started to get out of bed. Oh that baby.

Yeah, she was one proud Mom. The last thing she heard before she made her way out of the room and down the stairs was Jane trying to get Aubry to say 'dada'.

She took her time in the kitchen, letting the water warm to the perfect temperature and humming to herself. It was a good day - there had been some bumps but it turned out okay. She stared out into the night that covered the backyard. A swing would look really good out there. Aubry would love a swing - she just knew it.

After she decided that they needed one, she put the nipple on the bottle, placed her finger over the tip and shook. While doing so, she opened the fridge even though she wasn't necessarily hungry. It was just what she did when she visited the kitchen. It was almost like therapy.

She stared into the light and was struck with a sudden thirst. Maybe it was because her eyes landed on the kool-aid and she wanted something sweet. She grabbed the gallon and set it on the counter along with the newly made bottle. It took her two minutes to get a glass, and pour some of the red liquid into it. With a shrug, she grabbed both drinks and headed for the stairs.

It was quiet when she reached the hallway. She didn't hear Jane talking or the baby giggling. She didn't hear the rustling of the sheets and when she turned into the bedroom she stopped in her tracks. It was the cutest sight she'd seen so far and there had been some pretty adorable moments but this took the cake.

Patrick Jane was still on his back, one arm around Jo who had fallen asleep with her head on his stomach, her back pressed to the mattress and her arms and legs kicked out. She was lying stretched out sideways and Lisbon wondered exactly how she'd be able to sleep next to them without getting kicked. The bear was still grasped in Jo's hand and resting against Jane's arm. He was out. His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling gently. It was adorable.

Aubry wiggled but she was asleep too. The bottle in Lisbon's hand wasn't necessary any longer. The baby was snuggled into her father's chest, her face pressed into his neck. Well there went her plan to cuddle with her husband all night but this was better.

Unable to resist, she set the bottle and her glass on the bedside table. As quietly as possible, she grabbed her phone and disconnected the charger. It was too perfect. She snapped a quick picture. The sound of the camera made Jane open his eyes briefly. He smiled and gestured for her to join them. She couldn't get very close because of Jojo but she crawled in anyway.

"You took a picture of us?" As carefully as possible, she curled around Jolisa and nodded at him. He leaned as close as possible and kissed her head. He moved Aubry to rest in between them as well and she nuzzled into her cousin. Lisbon smiled as she watched them and let her arm move to rest over their little bodies.

"This is pretty much perfect." He didn't say anything, just reached up to turn off the lamp and then let his hand meet hers in the dark. She threaded her fingers with his and closed her eyes.

"That's gonna be your new background, isn't it?" She said nothing but smiled. "Just don't show the team. It'll ruin my image."

Her shoulders shook with silent laughter and she knew he was grinning. She squeezed his hand and then laid it on Aubry's chest. She kept them linked in a protective hold over the kids.

"Patrick?" she whispered.

"Hm?"

"I think I want another baby." His thumb brushed over her knuckles. "And that's what scares me."

"Why does it scare you? You're a great mom, Teresa."

"Aubry came early and she's perfect but what if something goes wrong next time?" His thumb circled her rings and she let out a sigh. Maybe she was being ridiculous.

"Don't think like that. If you want another baby, then we'll try for another baby but you can't think of 'what ifs'."

"I don't want to, not now but maybe someday." She blamed seeing Aubry and Jolisa together. The bed shifted and she felt more than saw Jane carefully turn Jojo's body. The little girl didn't stir. Suddenly, he was closer, their hands still tangled but now he was pressing his lips against hers and she responded in kind.

"Someday."

"Thank you, for telling me tonight." She didn't elaborate - didn't need to. He nudged her nose with his, stroking it up and down.

"Go to sleep. You'll be cranky tomorrow and I don't want to face your wrath, cruel woman."

"Bring me coffee before I wake up and maybe I'll spare you, kind man."

**A/n: Yup. There's another rather cute chapter for you guys. Hope you enjoyed. I just love Aubry and Jojo.  
**

**Next: _"Patrick Jane! What the hell is this?"_  
**

**_"Your present, well yours and Aubry's." She wanted to smack him upside the head but Aubry looked so excited and she was already playing with it._  
**


	45. Chapter 45

**Disclaimer: Not owning it.  
**

**A/N: Another chapter of this little tale for your enjoyment. Hope you like it. I wrote this at 2 am while on medication for my broken nose. :( How did I break my nose, you ask. Well, I didn't. One of my (now ex) friends did, then he denied the whole thing and called me a liar. Jerkface. Anyways, enjoy the new chapter of United.  
**

The case was hell. It was difficult in the worst of ways. No leads. Their _pregnant _victim didn't have an identity and there was literally nothing to go on. It was tough. Maybe Lisbon was a little soft but she believed that nobody deserved to just be forgotten. There had to be somebody missing the woman lying in the morgue, Lisbon just knew it. Somebody had to know her - she would've been a mother if someone hadn't killed her. It was really bothering Lisbon - grating her nerves and making her snap at almost everyone. She'd been in a bad mood since around lunch time and it hadn't gotten any better.

Pregnant. She and the victim had something in common. Maybe. She didn't know for sure yet but the signs were there. The topic hadn't come up lately but the talk from a few months before was still fresh in her mind. She was strangely calm about the prospect of having another child with Jane but the case had her on edge. It was terrible and she just wanted him - _Jane._

For the sake of Aubry, she plastered a fake smile on her face when she stepped through the door. Home was home and work was work. They'd agreed on that. Occasionally Jane would coax her into shop talk while they were lying in bed but for the most part, talk of murder and dead bodies stayed out of the house. It wasn't something the baby needed to hear.

Aubry - just the thought of the bubbly ten month old lifted some of the sadness from Lisbon's demeanor. That little girl was the best thing she'd ever accomplished. She left her keys on the table in the foyer and immediately opened the lock box where she kept her service weapon. Before she could even turn around, she heard footsteps approach. Tonight would be hard. She'd talk to Jane about the case later - maybe after she let him make love to her. She was in the mood to be thoroughly loved. Or perhaps, she was in the mood for a rough and tumble encounter now that she really thought about it. Either way, she was sure he wouldn't be opposed.

The sound of his voice washed over her and she let her lips tilt as she turned to face him.

"I've got someone here who is quite happy that you're home." He was walking their daughter towards her, holding tiny hands and bending over to help the little one along. She hadn't quite mastered walking on her own but she did a pretty good job if she had one of them for stability. She was already in her yellow ducky footie pajamas and her hair was still damp from a recent bath. "Look-y there, Bree-Bear, Mama's here!"

Aubry smiled up at her mother and tried to move her feet faster in an attempt to hurry but Jane was holding her back to ensure that she didn't end up face planting against the hardwood floor.

"Wait, Patrick. Let her try on her own." He hesitated, clearly not so sure about the idea but then Lisbon crouched down and held her arms out. "Come to Mama, Aubry."

He let go of her little hands but hovered just in case. Her body wobbled as she tried to get her footing and Lisbon couldn't help but smile at the way Jane stayed right behind her. Such a good dad. Aubry jabbered something and waved her hands which almost set her off balance. Lisbon watched as her husband gently nudged their daughter and then started to encourage her to take those first steps towards her mother.

"Walk to Mama, Bree-Bear." For several minutes they tried the back and forth vocal encouragement but Aubry just stood between them with a crooked smile on her face. With a sigh, Lisbon gave up and just sat down on the floor. Surely, the little one would walk soon.

"She doesn't talk yet either. Don't babies usually know 'mama' or 'dada' by now?" She wasn't being mean to their child, she was just a worried mother who wanted the best for Aubry.

"All kids are different, Teresa." Just as Lisbon started to stand, Aubry's little right foot inched forward. Both parents froze and waited as a look of determination crossed their daughter's face. The baby's left foot scooted along the hardwood.

"Patrick," Lisbon whispered. "Look."

Neither could tear their eyes away as Aubry shuffled forward, her little steps wobbly and exaggerated. She almost fell because she had to giggle and clap at her new found mode of transportation but with each fumbling step, she hobbled closer to her mother. Lisbon's eyes filled with tears and she reached out to catch her baby girl just as she stumbled on the last step.

"You walked! Aubry, you did it!" She hugged her to her chest, pressing kisses to her cheeks and beamed with pride.

"That's my girl." Jane smiled and kissed Aubry's head before he leaned in to press his lips to Lisbon's. She sighed into his mouth, letting her lips part for just a moment. She let the day melt away and basked in the moment. Her daughter had just taken her first steps and she was sharing a loving kiss with her husband. The day had gotten significantly better since walking through the door. She let one hand caress his cheek, balancing their baby on her hip, and pulled back just enough to let her gaze lock with his.

"I missed you today." The words came easily and she didn't try to take them back. It was true. She missed him a lot.

"Bad day?"

"Terrible." He pushed his mouth against hers in a soft peck that had Lisbon smiling into the kiss. "It's getting better."

"Just wait till I get you alone, I'm aiming for amazing." He shot her a wink that sent a shiver down her spine and brought a blush to her cheeks. That man. "Aubry and I went shopping today."

"Oh you did?"

"Mhm. Bree-Bear picked out your present." She played along, letting him lift Aubry from her and set her in the floor. The little one reverted back to her hands and knees and took off in the direction of the living room. "Follow her, she's so excited about it."

Raising an eyebrow in skepticism, Lisbon pulled away from his embrace and padded after their rambunctious child. She actually wasn't took worried...until she saw what was waiting for her. She stopped dead in her tracks and whipped around to face the culprit. Aubry clearly hadn't picked this.

"Patrick Jane! What the hell is this?"

"Your present, well yours and Aubry's." She wanted to smack him upside the head but Aubry looked so excited and she was already playing with it. "Look she loves..."

"Yeah, I can see that but Patrick - "

"Before you say anything, let me explain." Lisbon crossed her arms but didn't shrug away when he gently grasped her elbows. She couldn't look away from her daughter and the 'present' but she'd give him five minutes to defend himself. "It's the next obvious step, Reeses. We have a daughter, we're married, we have a house...this is just what comes next."

"Jane - "

"Not the last name. Come on, hon, this isn't a big deal. I know you've been wanting one for months." He was right but she _hated _surprises. Although it was kinda cute.

"I can't believe you got me a puppy."

"Technically, it's for both my girls." With a sigh, she gave in to the urge and pushed away from him to lean down. It was a cute little thing. All wrinkled and fat pawed. "I thought you could name her so I've just been calling her 'pup', she's already house trained - if it helps."

"For some strange reason, I thought when we married that you'd stop with the gifts and surprises. She's a Pitt." Lisbon lifted the white pup from the floor and scratched her ears. "Beautiful little thing."

"I remembered how you looked at the ones from the jazz show we went to."

"Penguin. I'm naming her Penguin and if you're aiming for 'amazing' when we're alone tonight, you will say nothing about it." She couldn't help but chuckle when he made a show of locking his lips and tossing the key over his shoulder. "Aubry, can you say 'Penguin'?"

Silence was the only answer she received from her daughter.

"She'll talk when she's ready, Teresa."

"I know. I do, but I just...I want to be here when she does." Sadness had seeped into her voice and she rubbed Penguin's head before putting her down. "I'm always working."

The puppy took off, running around in a circle and Aubry took off after her. The giggling brought a soft smile to Lisbon's face but she knew that Jane had caught the vulnerability she'd just shown. His fingers brushed against hers, weaving through and interlocking until their palms were pressed together.

"That little girl is happy. She knows you love her more than anything." He was trying to reassure her and it was sweet but she still bit her lip in worry. "Everyone knows you love her more than anything."

"I do."

"Then stop worrying."

"But, I miss so much."

"You don't. You're home every night before she goes to bed and you get up two hours early just to spend time with her before going in." He was telling the truth. She did get up extra early just to spend time with her. Sometimes she'd just watch her sleep and hold her hand.

Aubry was her life. And currently that little ball of energy was 'petting' their new addition to the family and by petting, she was almost being too rough and hitting but Penguin was taking it in stride.

"Thanks, Patrick."

"We have a perfect little family." Oh. _Oh. _Now how was she supposed to tell him?

* * *

Nervousness had set in by the time Lisbon crawled into bed wearing just a large shirt and panties. Jane was sitting up, reading something that she didn't care to know the title of. Instead she lifted it from his hands, bookmarked the page and placed it on the nightstand. Her bottom lip became trapped by her teeth and her hand played with the hem of his shirt.

"The case?" His voice was soft, patient. Her eyes watered and she nodded.

"We have a Jane Doe - there's literally nothing and she was pregnant, Jane. _Pregnant_. Somebody has to know her."

"This is where all that talk of you not being home enough came from, isn't it?" A tear leaked out and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat when his thumb brushed it away. "Teresa..."

"I don't want my kids hating me or not knowing me."

"Kids? Does this mean you want more?"

"Maybe. Yes." She didn't want to necessarily get into it. She wanted to vent and then shed their clothing so he could make her feel human - make her feel like she wasn't a screw up.

"Hey, you'll figure it out. I'll help. We can get Jon or Nellie to watch Aubry tomorrow and I'll come in."

"Jon is still mad at me."

"No, he's not. He just doesn't know how to apologize." Things had been tense for months and she hated it, she wanted to make peace and move on. She'd told him that she was wrong about Nellie and that she was sorry but he acted strangely around her now. "Don't fret."

"I can't help it." She knew what he was doing the moment he shifted and when his lips landed on her forehead, she let out a heavy sigh. Another tear spilled and she wrapped her arms around his middle to hold him in place.

"I'll call him in the morning and then we'll find out who your woman is and who killed her and her unborn child, okay?"

"I just..."

"I know. Now that you're a mom it hits ten times harder." She buried her face in his neck, nodding against his skin. She inhaled the scent of him, relaxing almost immediately as the familiar calming of his closeness washed over her.

"Its not just that."

"What else, sweetheart?" The hand rubbing along her spine made her bite back against her nerves. This was her husband and they'd done this before - they had Aubry and they were doing fine. This wasn't a big deal...but it was. It was a big deal. Not a bad one but it was still a huge thing in their lives. It would impact them forever and it still terrified her. Was she okay with it? Yes. She was happy, actually. Just scared and nervous. The case had made it worse.

It had made her think of what could happen if something went wrong at work. If a suspect decided she didn't need to live any longer. She'd end up leaving Aubry motherless, Patrick wifeless - again, and if she was pregnant...well, that just made things even more horrid.

"Teresa? You're scaring me."

"No. No, it's uh, I might..." Why did she have such a hard time spitting it out?

"I might have something in common with the victim and I think that's why its getting to me." She expected him to say something but he didn't. He wasn't asking for anything more than what she was willing to give. "Patrick, I might be pregnant." Two seconds ticked by and she clarified. "I think I'm pregnant."

"I know." She pulled back, studied his face for signs of teasing. He wasn't.

"Wha-"

"It's been almost two months since you've had to buy tampons, my dear." She playfully smacked his chest. "I figured you had probably taken a test and that's why you were in a mood."

"No. Goodness no. I wanted to wait to take a test this time. I kinda want my husband to suffer through those long three minutes with me - maybe hold my hand." A smile slowly took over his face and he shook his head in disbelief. "Celebrate with me if its good news."

"So you really do want another baby?"

"I've been thinking about it and yes, I do. It terrifies me but I watch Aubry learn and grow everyday and it's so amazing."

"Aubry will love a little sister."

"Or brother." Lisbon interjected. "If you suspect that I really am carrying your child again, why did you get me a puppy?"

"Because you wanted one and isn't that a rule - two kids and a dog?"

"You're a crazy man."

"You married me." He had a valid point.

"Can we wait until this case is over before we find out? I just don't feel right, knowing I'd be happy and this woman deserves our full attention." His eyes filled with something warm and loving as his palm moved to rest against her chest - right above her heart.

"You're the most selfless person I know, you truly are a saint. It's almost funny, ya know. The selfless Teresa Lisbon married the selfish Patrick Jane." He was teasing but she still frowned.

"You're a good man. A little bit of a pain and you tend to act first and think later but you're a good man." He smiled fondly, his hand still resting against her chest. She pushed into it, letting her breast flatten against his fingers. "I think you should kiss me now."

"Oh, do you?" She leaned closer and let her lips hover above his.

"Let me show you how selfish I can be, Mr. Jane." His mouth slanted over hers before she could say anything more.

**a/n: So I'm borrowing internet or I'd reply to every single review. Just know that I read all of them and appreciate each one!  
**

**Next: _"She just talked!" Lisbon looked at her daughter seated in Cho's lap and wanted to groan in frustration._  
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_**"She did."  
**_

**_"We've been trying for months, how did you get her to say something?" He patted Aubry's head, making her giggle and snuggle against his arm. He could claim he didn't like the kid all he wanted but it was clear to everyone that he was wrapped around her little finger._  
**


	46. Chapter 46

**Disclaimer: Only in my dreams...actually nope, not even then because even in my dreams, I'm poor. Meh.  
**

**A/N: Another chapter for you guys! I just couldn't keep it to myself. It was clawing to get out. I had forgotten how much I truly loved this story. Also, I'm working on some sketches of their little family moments. Like Aubry's cuteness and of course a few other things as well. I just never have much free time anymore but I'm trying!  
**

**Also, once again, I have no internet and I'm on borrowed time. I promise when I get internet, I will reply to each of you awesome reviewers personally.  
**

The nerves were beginning to settle in Lisbon's stomach. It was early but she couldn't force herself to go back to sleep. She'd tried that and it ended with her lying on her side and staring at her husband's face. His features were still relaxed and peaceful. He always looked so much younger when he was sleeping. The lines in his skin were smooth and less pronounced. Her hand reached up from beneath the blanket to trace over the slope of his nose. She had to bite her lip and hold back a laugh when he scrunched his face at her caress but he didn't wake. Her fingers danced along his jaw, moving down to tuck themselves around to the nape of his neck. Excitement and fear bubbled in her blood, she was brimming with it. Why wasn't he awake?

Today was the day. She was nervous and she wanted him to be awake too. He needed to be there and suffer through it with her. Her nails gently scraped along his skin - something she knew would rouse him in more ways than just causing him to open his eyes. His brow furrowed and a low moan rumbled from his chest. Lisbon pressed herself closer, let her body melt into his and then with one last look at his face, she closed her eyes and nipped at his mouth. That would definitely gain his full attention.

The second her tongue traced along the seam of his lips to chase away the sting of her bite, he was awake. She knew when his arms tightened around her waist and practically pulled her on top of him that he was no longer in the dream world. When his mouth opened against hers and she was engulfed in the heat of him, it was pretty clear that sleep was far behind.

"Teresa," Her name had never sounded so sensual until she'd heard it whispered from his lips that very first night they'd made love as husband and wife. The man knew exactly what to say and do to make her want nothing more than to pin him to the bed and never leave.

She could feel him, hard against her stomach and her hips rolled against him. He sucked in a sharp breath and pulled back from her seeking mouth. She knew why he was delaying and she knew he was right. There was something more important that needed to be done. But for several long seconds, they stayed like that. Her straddling him, his hand on her cheek and her lips only millimeters from his. Their breath mingled and before she knew it, he was smiling and pressing a soft kiss against the corner of her lips.

"You can't sleep."

"Not at all. I don't know how you can." He opened his eyes and finally, she saw those gorgeous green pools that she could drown in forever. So soft and warm.

"Because you're next to me."

"Sap."

"You love it." She did. Sometimes. "You're nervous, aren't you?"

The way she looked away and blushed gave him the answer that she didn't want to voice. It was obvious that she was. Her stomach was starting to churn uncomfortably - she briefly wondered if she'd actually end up getting sick. His hand turned her face back towards his and she bit her lip before she whispered her true fear into their dimly lit bedroom.

"I just don't want to be disappointed."

"I'm nervous too." Relief flooded her instantly. Yes, she'd known on some level that he was nervous but to hear him confirm it was overwhelming and reassuring. So was the soft kiss he pressed against her lips as his hand smoothed up and down her spine. "Let's do it."

"Okay." Neither moved. Lisbon couldn't, her legs felt incapable but then she felt Jane nudge her thighs and she knew what he was suggesting. They couldn't put it off anymore. It was bad enough that she'd talked them both into waiting until the case was solved. She _had_ to know. And she had to know_ yesterday_. "I'm going."

"Bring it out here, we'll cuddle to pass the time." She ignored the smirk on his face as she climbed off of him and headed for the bathroom. It was time to learn if there was a baby growing inside of her...again. She closed the door with one last look at the man rolling to press his face into the space she'd vacated and with a sigh, she set to work.

Her hands shook and made her fumble with the pregnancy test but she eventually wrangled it out of the package and somehow managed to calm her stomach long enough to do what she needed. Who had even invented these things? Peeing on a stick - such a ladylike thing to do, she thought. It was ridiculous but at least it didn't take hours or days. After capping the small piece of plastic and washing her hands, she headed back to Jane.

Her stomach was doing flips and twisting all different directions when she approached the bed. She went straight to his side, setting the test down on the nightstand to wait. He reached for her hand, intertwined their fingers and gave a small tug. She went into his arms willingly - easing down in the small space on the very edge and letting him wrap her in his hold. She buried her face in his chest and inhaled. Calm. He was her calm. He kept her from pacing back and forth for three minutes but her heart was still racing. Or maybe that was his heart she could hear...perhaps both of theirs.

"If I'm not..."

"Shh, Reeses, don't fret. I'm generally always right - as you're well aware - and I say that you are indeed carrying my child." A chuckle spilled from her lips, fluttering across his skin. The man was something else and the way his fingers were moving up and down along her spine made heat flare in her veins. She needed to focus.

"How are we supposed to explain this to Aubry?"

"She's still too young to fully understand the concept but I think she'll be a great big sister. She already loves Penguin like she's part of the family." Unable to stop herself, Lisbon nipped at his neck to make him yelp.

"Penguin _is _part of the family. She sleeps under Aubry's crib like a protector and I've never seen a puppy that is so easy to handle." It was pretty obvious that both women in the house were in love with the adorable pup and even though she hated to stroke her husband's ego, Lisbon raised up to give him a soft kiss. "You did good, Patrick. Real good."

"Again, you act shocked that I knew what I was doing." Jane let out a small huff against her mouth before he captured her bottom lip with his teeth. She held back the moan threatening to bubble up and spill out when he tugged gently on the plump flesh. Goodness, what was wrong with them? They were acting sex crazed and there was a more pressing matter at hand than how fast they could get their clothes off.

"Maybe because I _know _that you tend to just wing it and hope for the best."

"Nonsense." Lisbon rolled her eyes and buried her face back into his neck. It was safer if she wasn't near his mouth at that point but then her eyes drifted down the bed and she could see his reaction to their wandering hands, playful banter, and stolen kisses. Ugh, she needed him. She was a ball of nerves, she was on fire, and she just needed him to calm her down.

Her mind was racing and not all of her thoughts were good. She wanted another baby but what if this was too soon? What if it took away from the attention that Aubry deserved? Could she even handle two babies?

"Patrick, is this fair to Aubry? She's still so young - she's not even speaking yet and she just started walking." Their baby now toddled everywhere - only crawling when playing with toys in the floor.

"I'm going to tell you something and it's something I didn't think was possible until you told me that you were pregnant with Aubry so listen up Teresa, because this is something you need to hear." She waited but he didn't continue, he nudged her hip and waited until she moved to look up at him.

"I'm listening."

"I thought Charlotte would be my only child. I didn't think it'd be fair if I ever had more but then I realized you wanted a family, and I wasn't being fair to _you_. I'm being completely honest when I tell you that I wasn't sure I could love another child as much as I loved my first but then Aubry happened and I don't love her any less - any differently. She's my baby and she's perfect." His eyes were swimming with unshed tears and Lisbon was speechless. He was being so open. He'd never told her any of this before.

"You're a great dad."

"And you are a natural mother. Another baby isn't going to take away from the love and attention we give our little Bear - it's only gonna multiply. It becomes another part of you." Her lip was trembling by the time he'd finished talking and she was pretty sure that if her hands hadn't been fisted against his chest then they'd be shaking terribly.

She brought one up to rest against his cheek and noticed that it was, indeed, trembling. How did they become the sappy married couple? When did that even happen? She couldn't remember. It had just been one hardship after another and somewhere along the way, they'd found their rhythm.

"Thank you."

"Anytime." Neither of them moved for several seconds - both of them content to stay wrapped up in their moment with emotions swirling between them. Lisbon wanted to let her hands trail down and tug at his clothing but just when she let her fingers slide against his chest, he caught her hand, brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss to her palm. "It's been more than three minutes."

She released a breath, blowing it out through her parted lips before she could even think about reaching for the test. She looked at him and let him see the panic in her eyes. She couldn't look. She couldn't deal with it. If she wasn't pregnant and she'd spent all this time talking with him about a baby and letting him rub her stomach at night before they fell asleep...she just couldn't.

He reached for it. Her breath caught in her throat and her lip found its way between her teeth. She started shaking her head in hopes that it would somehow sway the result in her favor. She'd never thought she would be here. She never thought she'd be so devastated by just the thought of _not_ being pregnant. Not after feeling so lost and unsure when she'd found out the first time that she _was _expecting. She didn't regret Aubry but the circumstances hadn't been ideal. Things were better this time and it just _hurt _to think about how it could all be a mistake and the test would tell them that she wasn't carrying a tiny being within her.

She watched his eyes flick over the plastic and tried to read his expression. For what seemed like hours, he just looked at the thing. Her heart was hammering against her ribcage. It was racing and she needed him to _say _or _do _something. Anything. Her stomach churned violently and she rocked against his side to get his attention.

"Jane," His name was whispered, her voice shaking but it got his attention. His gaze snapped up to meet with hers and then a grin split his features. A smile so bright and beautifully happy that she knew. His single nod only gave her more confirmation. She was pregnant. They were going to be parents again.

Without even trying, she knocked the test from his hand and sealed her mouth to his. She could feel something wet on her cheeks and she didn't know if it was her tears or his or perhaps both but relief and arousal flooded through her. She didn't care. A laugh escaped and he swallowed it, chasing it away by letting his hands lift the shirt she was wearing to touch bare skin.

Yes. This was exactly what she wanted. It was what she needed. He didn't waste any time with slowly undressing her - her shirt hit the floor within seconds and the cool air made her skin tighten. She loved to watch him, watch his eyes darken when they roamed her bare chest before coming back up to her mouth. Just to drive him crazy, she sucked on her bottom lip. Usually he would moan or say something in a rather gruff voice but this time, he took action.

His arms wrapped around her, pulled her into his lap and he sat up to crush her bare torso against his. Heat flooded between her thighs but she held back the vocal appreciation. He didn't need an ego boost - not at that particular moment. She needed to feel his skin against hers, reassure her that everything was right and happy but he wasn't making it easy. He seemed rather pleased with just touching her. Rubbing her back, holding her as close as possible and..._oh_...nipping her collarbone.

He bit down on her sensitive flesh, the tender spot just above the swell of her breast and she rocked her hips against him as her eyes fluttered. No. _No, _she needed to focus. Forcing her brain to stay on track, she tugged at the fabric covering his chest.

"Off."

"Impatient."

"Shut up." She used her tongue to part his lips, to make him shut up. He was turning her to mush without even moving. His mouth slowed against hers and she tried to amp it back up but he wasn't having it. Her disappointed whimper became a moan when he pulled away from her lips and brushed his hand down to the band of her panties.

His fingers dipped inside, caressing the skin of her lower abdomen. Fire engulfed her, took complete control of her body. She could feel how damp she was, knew that he could too but he was still just watching her. She wanted him to hurry up.

"Jane." It was a growl in their quiet room.

"Mrs. Jane." He was mocking her and he was enjoying it, she could tell. One of his fingers brushed the sensitive swollen flesh between her thighs and her hips thrust. "Take these off."

He snapped the elastic of her panties to emphasize his request. Wordlessly, she moved off of him, slid the scrap of cloth down her legs until it rested somewhere near the end of the bed. He was doing the same with his own clothes. Bare skin was being revealed and she felt her breath hitch. He was beautiful. She loved the color of his skin, the dusting of hair that trailed down from his navel. All of him.

The intense arousal tampered, the need to have him immediately waned when she let her eyes meet with his. Love. All she could see was love and the obvious amounts of lust but mostly just love.

They met in the middle of the bed, both on their knees as their bodies pressed into each others. She let him slow it down, let him caress her skin like it was something to be treasured. They both watched as goosebumps followed the trail he mapped. Up from her wrist, to the inside of her elbow - which always made her giggle - up over her shoulder to finally come to rest on the side of her neck. He brushed her hair to the side and she felt all the air leave her lungs when his mouth replaced his fingers at her throat.

She went willingly when he sat and pulled her into his lap. The same position they'd started in. Her mind briefly wondered where the pregnancy test had ended up but then he flicked his tongue across her nipple and it all went black. He was gentle with her, never using too much pressure or teeth but just enough to have her rocking against him.

"Patrick...please." She would not beg. She was simply asking nicely. He responded, lifting her a little and pushing her hips to the right before he eased her back down. Her mouth opened on a silent gasp and her eyes rolled back in her head at the feel of him. She let herself engulf him, let her hips set an easy pace that would have them both close within merely minutes. They were good at this. So very good.

* * *

It still hadn't completely registered yet. She was pregnant. Sitting at her desk and staring at the pictures of her husband and daughter - Lisbon let her hand brush over her lower stomach. A smile tugged at her lips and she was just about to whisper something to the tiny thing that definitely couldn't hear her when a knock jolted her from her bubble.

Her hand remained where it was but her eyes latched onto the redhead entering her office.

"Hey boss," she noticed that Van Pelt was fidgeting.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine...it's just the last case. I know you took it kinda hard." Lisbon sucked in a breath and the woman in front of her continued on. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. We all know it hit close to home...ya know, with Aubry and everything."

If it wasn't for the terrible timing, Lisbon might have laughed. Yeah, the case had been rough and she'd cried in Jane's arms at least twice but it wasn't just because of Aubry. But they weren't telling the team about their newest addition just yet. She briefly considered giving the usual 'I'm fine' but then she rethought it. Two years ago, she would have but things have changed so much and honestly, Grace was a good friend to have. A good person to talk to.

"It was hard but I'll be okay."

"The boys were talking about all of us going out for a drink, you in?" She didn't want to say no but she really didn't want to end up in some bar where she'd be surrounded by people filled with too much alcohol. Just the thought was making her nauseous.

"Sure but can we make it dinner instead? I want to bring Aubry."

"Sounds great. I'll let the boys know."

"Oh, and tell the boys that the next time they're worried about me, they can come in here themselves." The two of them shared a smile and Van Pelt shook her head before she left the office. Once she was out of sight, Lisbon realized her hand was still pressed into her abdomen. Hm, she needed to be careful about that.

It wasn't until they were all seated in a large round booth at a random diner that she finally let herself relax. Nobody seemed aware that she was pregnant so clearly no one noticed that she had only pretended to drink her coffee - or that she'd ordered water with her plate of fries and chicken strips. Definitely a 'pregnant-with-Jane's-kid-thing'. It was the only time she craved chicken so bad she wanted it for at least two out of three meals a day.

Aubry was passed from her mother's lap to her father's and then around as each person took their turn. Their daughter was thoroughly loved and doted on. She had become a part of the entire team and was currently stealing some of Rigsby's fries. Her little fingers wrapped around one of the deep fried potatoes and brought it clumsily up to her mouth - just as the man she was sitting on did the same thing.

"You're teaching my daughter bad habits, Rigs." Lisbon's playful tone made both Rigsby and Aubry look up with a fry hanging half way out of their mouths. It was a picture worthy moment.

"Wha -?" He looked dumbfounded, Grace giggled and Cho was nonchalantly taking a swig of water. This was her family. When he was done, Cho reached for the baby - Lisbon didn't care how many times he said he didn't like kids, the man loved that little girl.

"Let me see her, before she starts talking with her mouth full too."

"She doesn't talk yet. We've tried to get her to say 'mama'." Jane frowned and squeezed her thigh under the table. She ignored the way his thumb brushed the inseam of her jeans.

"And 'dada'." She quirked her eyebrow in his direction but he didn't seem phased. "We have a bet going on which one she'll say first."

Everyone was watching Aubry interact with Cho, the way she curled her fingers around his thumb and held on tight - the way he let her. Her bright green eyes brightened and she smiled - showing off her front teeth. There was nothing better than that adorable grin. So much like her father's. Although Jane always informed her that their little one had inherited her bashful tilt of the lips and her sly grin. Lisbon wasn't sure she actually believed him.

It was Van Pelt that broke their silence of admiring the beautiful baby.

"Her hair is getting lighter." It was. Her once dark curls were becoming a soft light brown. Almost a perfect mix of her parents. "You two make pretty babies."

Lisbon choked on the chicken she was in the process of chewing and felt her face flush red. Out of all the things to be said by Grace, she hadn't expected that. Jane patted her on the back and handed her the glass of water. He didn't seem too shocked by the statement, instead, he was taking it in stride. Almost proud.

"Thank you, although she's the spitting image of her mother so I don't think I can take much credit." As the coughing subsided, and the cool water was gulped down, Lisbon looked at the man sitting next to her. He was being awfully sweet. Normally she wasn't much for public displays of affection in front of the team despite the fact that they were married and had a baby but she was feeling generous on this night. Maybe it was byproduct of his sweet words, the hand stroking her thigh or the knowledge that there was a new baby tucked safely within her but she let her hand grasp his beneath the table and her head fell against his shoulder.

"They always like this, kid?" Cho asked the little one resting on his knee. She looked up at him and frowned. "It's sickening."

Lisbon had opened her mouth, quick with a retort but it died on her lips when her daughter made a noise. Just a little giggle but it was what followed that giggle that had everyone at the table in shock.

A tiny voice, saying something no one expected.

"Cho...Cho...Cho." At first Lisbon let it slide, thinking that her child was simply putting together a string of noises but then Aubry snuggled into the man the name belonged to and said it again. She knew what she was saying and she was actually _saying _something everyone could understand. Her first word. _Oh, _her baby girl had just said her very first word.

Warmth flooded her chest and she looked away from their daughter to glance up at Jane. He was smiling - the same smile he'd had on his face when she'd taken her first steps. The one that he wore the day she'd been born. But then the reality of what had happened crashed in on her. Her baby just uttered her first word...and it hadn't been 'mama'.

"She just talked!" Lisbon looked at her daughter seated in Cho's lap and wanted to groan in frustration.

"She did."

"We've been trying for months, how did you get her to say something?" He patted Aubry's head, making her giggle and snuggle against his arm. He could claim he didn't like the kid all he wanted but it was clear to everyone that he was wrapped around her little finger. Cho just shrugged and let the girl steal his tater tots. **  
**

"Looks like neither of you won the bet." Rigsby stated while taking a bite of his burger. Before Lisbon could even think of glaring at him, he was yelping and looking over at Van Pelt as if she'd done something to cause his discomfort. She would have to thank her later. "Sorry."

A hand brushed along her back and Lisbon relaxed again - let her head rest against her husband's shoulder once more. He was comfortable and she was tired. _Oh, _she was _tired. _ She hadn't noticed until then - hadn't let herself fully relax enough for the exhaustion to set in. That's what she got for staying up late to watch Aubry sleep and not being able to drift off for more than thirty minutes at a time throughout the night. But now they knew and she wasn't a nervous ball of energy.

She'd be asleep in five minutes if they didn't leave soon. She didn't want to. She liked being with her team - unwinding with them over a meal. But it was getting late and her baby girl was starting to yawn and get a little cranky with the food she was stealing. Warm lips pressed to her head and she felt Jane breathe the words into her hair.

"I think it's about time for us to head out. It's almost Aubry's bedtime." She hummed her agreement and held her arms out for her daughter. The little one came willingly and nuzzled her face against Lisbon's shoulder. Yeah, she wasn't the only sleepy one. "Dinner was a great idea, we'll have to get together more often outside of work."

"Or we could start inviting everyone to the house every Sunday or something. We have plenty of room. If you guys would like?"

* * *

She didn't remember the car ride home or even climbing in bed but she remembered the way Jane ushered her through their front door with their sleeping little girl in his arms. She recalled the feel of his hand on her back and the press of his lips to her temple. She knew he told her to get some sleep and he'd put Aubry to bed and make sure their puppy was taken care of.

Now snuggled into the pillow on his side, she could feel herself drifting in and out. She was trying to wait up for him but it wasn't working. She was just so tired and he was taking too long. Briefly her mind wandered to places of babies and whether the child growing within her would look like Aubry or if this one would be a whole new bundle of features. Would this baby resemble Jane more? She kinda hoped he did. Oh, _he, _yeah she supposed she was kinda hoping for a boy this time around.

Things in blue and green. Elephants, maybe, to decorate the room. It didn't matter either way - another girl would be great too. Her thoughts faded out and her muscles relaxed.

That was how Jane found her. Asleep on his side of the bed - well both sides really. Her upper body thrown across his pillow but her legs were still on her side. He'd married a bed hog. It was a good thing he could work with it. He stripped down to his boxers, not bothering with pajamas and settled in behind the woman he loved. She was warm - her heat drew him in like a moth to a flame. He curled his body around hers and gently tucked her hair to the side so it wouldn't tickle his nose. She always smelled so good and he loved to bury his nose in her neck. He inhaled her scent, let his face press into her skin until she hummed softly and scooted back into him.

He pulled her to his chest, letting his legs tangle with hers and one of his arms drape over her waist. His hand landed in the cradle of her hips, his fingers stroked over the skin that was showing from her shirt riding up. The small sliver that wasn't covered by her underwear and his heart surged in his chest at the warmth of her beneath his touch. Another baby - she was keeping another child of his safe. Maybe this one would look like him, although, he wasn't opposed to having several little mini Teresa's running around with their big green eyes and bashful smiles.

Yeah, that wouldn't be bad at all. Pushing his lips against her neck in a sweet kiss - he let his eyes drift shut just as the woman in his arms shifted and mumbled.

"Patrick?"

"Shh, sleep." She snuggled into him, let her fingers link with the ones he had resting on her stomach and after a few minutes, her body relaxed. Once again she was off in the land of slumber and he was left with his thoughts. It happened a lot but he knew she was tired tonight. She hadn't slept much the night before and oddly, he had. His brain was too active to sleep now but he kept his eyes closed. Something told him that he wasn't going to be getting much rest.

**Next: Fear crept into her chest, took over her body. Her heart skipped a beat - perhaps several - and she tried to bite back the sob that threatened to spill out. She couldn't do this. She didn't want to do this. _No_. Just no.  
**

**"Reeses..." She couldn't handle the softness in his voice. She couldn't deal with the sadness in his eyes. He wasn't supposed to look like he felt _sorry_ for her when he was the one..._no_.  
**

**"Don't. Just please don't." Her hand reached for his, lacing their fingers together and stroking her thumb along his knuckles. Her heart calmed and she took a deep breath. "Maybe we shouldn't do this anymore."  
**


	47. Chapter 47

**Disclaimer: (Insert witty remark here.) This means I don't own it.**

**A/N: I'm a terrible updater, I know. I'll briefly explain why. I didn't have internet for the last year and a half so I could only update when I made time to go to a friends house or the library. I worked ALL the time and had nothing to show for it. Eventually, I got fed up and just moved back home. So for now, I'm living with my sister and her son. I have internet again and at the moment, no job. This means I have plenty of free time even though I absolutely hate not working. Anyway, today I'm upset and stressed which apparently put me in the mood to write. Maybe I should be this miserable more often. Meh. Hope you enjoy this installment. **

There was no way to describe the day they'd all had. No real way to explain to someone the events that led them here. Terrible didn't even begin to cover it. Everything was messed up and Lisbon wished she could just go back to bed, wake up, and re-do the entire day all over again. She'd make it different. She'd make it better. She wouldn't have to deal with the emotions boiling beneath her skin.

Fear crept into her chest, took over her body. Her heart skipped a beat – perhaps several – and she tried to bite back the sob that threatened to spill out. She couldn't do this. She didn't want to do this. _No._ Just no.

"Reeses..." She couldn't handle the softness in his voice. She couldn't deal with the sadness in his eyes. He wasn't supposed to look like he felt _sorry _for her when he was the one..._no._

"Don't. Just please don't." Her hand reached for his, lacing their fingers together and stroking her thumb along his knuckles. Her heart calmed and she took a deep breath. "Maybe we shouldn't do this anymore."

"Do what exactly?"

She wanted to glare at him – he knew what she was talking about – but she couldn't. Not when he was lying in a hospital bed, strapped to an IV filled with painkillers and antibiotic. This just couldn't happen.

"You know."

"Are you saying that _we_ shouldn't work for the CBI anymore – or are you saying that _I _shouldn't?" His eyes closed for a second, as if a wave of pain hit and then he was hauling himself upright in the bed and Lisbon tried to gently push him back down while maintaining her grip of his hand.

"You were shot and operated on, you need to lie down."

"No, not when you're talking nonsense."

"It's not nonsense. Damn it, Patrick I just watched you get _shot_." The crack in her voice made him stop struggling but he still didn't lean back. At least she had his attention but she hated the look he was giving her. The tears welled up again, clouding her vision and making a knot form in her throat. "I watched as that bullet hit you and I couldn't do anything about it. I just spent hours in the waiting room, pacing back and forth because I didn't know what was happening. I didn't...I didn't know if I would have to tell our kids...I can't do that. I can't."

She didn't care that she sounded needy or that there were tears gathering. She'd imagined every possible scenario and there was only one that she could handle – him being alive.

"I won't. I won't leave my family." His fingers squeezed hers and she found herself looking at their hands. "But, you love your job and I like helping. I worry every single time you step out of that building – every day when you leave the house to go to work. Hell, you were shot when you were pregnant with Aubry and I didn't ask you to quit nor did I expect you to."

"This isn't your job, Jane. You don't _have_ to do this. I have a vest and a gun but you don't. You're a civilian." She didn't want to fight. She just wanted him to be safe and her chest still ached with the 'what if' even as she watched his eyes droop in exhaustion. "Bear and I need you."

"Don't forget Nut."

"We're not calling the baby 'Nut'." Despite her best attempt to remain frustrated, her lips formed a smile and her free hand slid down to rest low on her stomach. She watched fondly as his eyes followed. He was so pale. It wasn't right for him to be there, to be hurt like that. If things had gone differently he wouldn't be lying there at all, he'd be in a morgue and the warmth that was spreading through her chest as he watched her lovingly would be shattering heartbreak instead.

"As much as I'd love to continue this conversation, m'dear, I'm afraid whatever they've got in this IV has other plans even though I'd much rather stay awake. Did they catch the guy?"

"Cho did. He wouldn't let me interrogate him either, can't imagine why. You need to rest."

"So do you. Where's Bear?"

"Jon and Nellie have her, I called a little while ago and she was playing with Jojo. Just rest." The fingers that gripped her hand began to slacken their hold.

"Go home, sleep. I'll be okay." As much as she wanted to throttle him for even suggesting such a thing, she knew he was right but that didn't mean he'd get his way. He'd taken a bullet to the shoulder - coincidentally it was the same shoulder he'd popped out of socket not long after they'd gotten married. She wasn't going anywhere but he didn't need to know that.

"I'll go as soon you fall asleep." His eyes had closed but a smirk lazily stretched into his features to cover the remnants of pain.

"Terrible liar." She opened her mouth to retort but there was nothing she could say to that and he was well on his way into a drug induced sleep.

Lisbon found herself once again stroking her fingers over his hand and studying his face. He was still too pale and his skin was too cool. He'd lost so much blood. So very much. The shirt she'd been wearing at the time was ruined but she didn't care about that. Jane – her Jane – had been the highest on her priority list.

She'd cradled him, held him to her chest as her hand pressed against the hole in his shoulder. His blood had been so warm as it slipped through her fingers. She hoped that memory would fade. It wasn't something she liked to think about at all and yet every time she looked at him lying in that hospital bed, it was all she could see – him on the ground with life draining out of him. The way he'd looked up at her with such shock on his face. She remembered his stuttered breaths and the one word he'd kept trying to say – Aubry, their little girl's name. He'd thought he was dying and the only thing word to leave his lips was the name of their baby.

But he was okay. He was in pain and he'd have to suffer through being limited for quite a while but he was alive. He was breathing. He'd need physical therapy for his arm - maybe he'd actually go this time. The thought made her smile a little through the tense worry lines covering her face. For at least ten minutes, she watched him breathe and listened to the steady beep of the monitor. Her vision was blurred and when he winced in his sleep, her control snapped. She knew what it felt like to have a bullet tear through flesh. She knew and she hated that he was dealing with something like that.

A strangled sob tore from her lips and tears slid down her cheeks. Her fingers gripped his arm, careful not to dislodge the IV, and her nails probably dug into his flesh just a bit. She couldn't find it in herself to ease up. She just wanted to crawl into bed next to him, wrap her entire body around him and never let go. Yes, she loved him but she'd never been so absolutely sure of it until that very moment. She wasn't like that. She wasn't overly emotional. Usually she managed to stay in control but not this time.

She didn't know how long she sat there crying or when she actually just rested her head against the thin hospital mattress and she would never be able to pin point the moment that her exhaustion consumed her but she'd never forget the way she'd felt that day. The panic.

_The shot rang out before anyone even realized there was a threat. Lisbon had just been smiling and bantering with her husband as she'd climbed out of the car. They weren't here to apprehend - only ask questions. But that sound induces her reflexes and her gun is out before she can even think about it. _

_"Jane, get down!" She can't see him but she knows that he hates guns. A part of her smiles at the thought of him ducking behind the vehicle as soon as the shot was fired. Typical. _

_Her thoughts focus on minimizing the threat of casualties as another shot fills the air and hits the car next to hers. It's a busy street. People are running and she can hear someone nearby calling the police. She hopes they're taking cover. She can't tell at this point what she's up against. _

_"Jane, I need you to call Cho." He doesn't answer, she waits two seconds before her eyes sweep the area. She can't see anyone who has a gun but she sees him. He's cautiously moving out from his crouched position but he stays hidden. Relief floods her entire body. Thank goodness he's such a chicken. He grabs his phone from his jacket pocket and gives her a grin. Her eyes sweep the area again but still, she can't see anyone threatening.  
_

_"Well, that's one helluva way to make a bad impression." His words bring forth an unwanted laugh and she moves closer to where he's hiding. She keeps alert, keeps her gun in her hands but she wants to be aware that he's safe. He's pressing the phone to his ear when he leans around the car - she doesn't know what he's looking for and her brow furrows. Before she can get close enough to question him, another shot and her world collapses. Her heart stops in her chest - a scream frozen in her throat as she watches his body jerk from the impact. He hits the ground, his face turned towards her and she sees the lifeless eyes - sees the bullet hole in his head._

_The scream rips free._

Lisbon jolted out of the nightmare, her body sitting up in the hospital chair and sweat covering her skin. She could feel the tears on her cheeks and the harsh breaths pouring from her lungs almost hurt in their intensity. Her eyes flew over the person in the bed - made sure it was her Jane and that he was still breathing.

A nurse walked in, worry etched over the young woman's features as she glanced at Lisbon. Apparently she'd made some noise in her sleep. She could tell just by the look she was getting. She didn't know this nurse - there must have been a shift change at some point.

"You must be Mrs. Jane, I'm Alaina."

"It's actually..." Was she really about to argue with a nurse about her last name? It wasn't important for them to know she'd kept her maiden name and it was stupid that she was even thinking about it. "Uh, yes. I'm his wife."

"They say you've been here all day."

"If this is where you tell me that I should take it easy and go home, I'm sorry but I'll have to pass. I'm fine." She was not in the mood to deal with more pushy people trying to force her into leaving.

"Well, that's just dandy but visiting hours are almost over and I'd really hate to kick you out."

"I'm a -"

"Cop. Yes I know but your husband is okay and there's no threat on his life here." Lisbon knew that Alaina was right, she'd have to go home. "And I'm sure you'd sleep more comfortably in a bed."

She didn't tell the nurse that she wouldn't sleep at all in an empty bed. It was none of her business and Lisbon was never much of a sharer in the first place but she could tell that Alaina wasn't trying to be a bully and that was probably the only reason she didn't dislike her.

"Why don't you wake him up, tell him that you'll see him tomorrow while I give him a quick check-up." Lisbon was about to nod her agreement when fingers gripped hers and a very rough voice spilled from Jane's mouth.

"M'already awake." He opened one eye and then the other, blinked a few times and finally, looked over at the woman by his side. "You said you were going home."

"Like you actually believed me." Neither of them noticed the nurse fussing over him or the shy smile on her face as she watched them. "I do have to go, apparently visiting hours are over."

"Good, be with Bree Bear and take care of Nut."

"We're not calling the baby such a ridiculous nickname, Patrick." She had no idea where he'd even come up with it but she was not going to let him get away with calling their second child 'Nut'. "I'll be back first thing in the morning."

"No rush."

"Shut up." Finally, she stood from the chair and winced at the clench of muscles in her back. She noticed Alaina lingering in the room and wondered if the nurse was making sure she actually left. Her hand released his and moved to rest against his cheek. Her green eyes met his and held for a long moment. She didn't care that they had an audience, she softly pressed her mouth to his and whispered an 'I love you' against his lips.

* * *

It was late when she made it to her brother's apartment. She'd went for a bit of a drive to clear her head but it hadn't helped and she missed her daughter. She'd thought about leaving the girl for the night but she couldn't. She just couldn't after the day she'd had. Aubry needed to know that everything was okay and Lisbon needed the comfort the baby provided.

She knocked softly on the door, hoping that someone was still awake and she wouldn't have to beat against it and wake the children tucked safely in their beds. Lisbon hadn't even managed to knock a full three times before the barrier slowly opened. The sight that greeted her wasn't really the one she'd been expecting. Instead of her brother wiping sleepily at his face, she was met with Nellie's warm smile and wide awake stare.

"I know it's late but I just -" Nellie cut her off before she could finish.

"I understand. She's asleep in the playpen." Lisbon muttered a soft 'thanks' and stepped inside. "I didn't take her up to bed yet, I figured she was okay down here as long as I was awake."

"That's fine." Aubry really wasn't picky on where she slept and Lisbon was grateful that she wouldn't have to walk up the stairs and possibly wake Jojo. In seconds, she was standing next to her sleeping daughter and staring down at her beautiful face. A mess of wild waves for a halo and her little hands out next to her like she was reaching for the sky.

"She woke up about an hour ago but I got her back down without much fuss." Unable to resist, Lisbon reached in and stroked her hand along the baby's cheek. "I think she just wanted you or Patrick."

"Jon asleep?"

"Yeah, he crashed with Jojo but he wanted me to wake him if I heard anything from you." She couldn't tear her eyes away from the sleeping child but she shook her head in Nellie's direction.

"No, let him sleep. Everything is okay."

"I figured you wouldn't have left the hospital otherwise." Smart woman. Despite getting off on the wrong foot, Lisbon actually liked her brother's girlfriend. Jon still didn't know that and he still acted a little weird sometimes but it was her fault. They'd both said things to each other that never should have been said. "Can I get you some tea?"

Tea. Jane. They went hand in hand and all she wanted was a little bit of comfort. Something to remind her that things hadn't taken a turn for the worse - that the day wasn't the last one she'd get to spend with him.

"That sounds great, thank you." Touching Aubry's cheek wasn't enough. It helped but it wasn't good enough and yes, it was selfish but she didn't care. She needed it, so as soon as they were alone she gently lifted her daughter out of the playpen. Aubry whimpered and wiggled but settled as soon as her eyes opened and she saw her mother. A sleepy smile stretched over her face and Lisbon swallowed the lump in her throat. "Hey pretty girl."

"Mama." The eleven month old was small for age but not too small. She still fit comfortably in Lisbon's arms but she was just as smart and feisty as ever. Definitely a mix of both her parents.

"Yeah, I'm here." Aubry nuzzled her face into her shoulder and let out a sigh. Her little hands gripped at Lisbon's shirt tightly and her eyes fluttered shut. Yeah, this was better than spending the night in the hospital waiting area but she was still worried about Jane. She rested her cheek against Aubry's mess of wavy hair and felt some of the tension leave her muscles.

As if on cue, Nellie returned with two steaming cups. The warmth would help calm her, she knew it would but she didn't want to let go of Aubry and she made the decision that she wasn't going to. Not for awhile.

"I hope chamomile is okay, it's all I have here." Lisbon watched her place the mugs on the coffee table and take a seat on one end of the couch. Without even considering the option of laying Aubry down next to her, Lisbon made herself comfortable on the other end with her little girl still in her arms. The baby had fallen back asleep pretty quickly but she needed to hold her.

"Thank you."

"I was already making some for myself so it's no big deal. Jon passed out pretty early on me so there was plenty." Nellie sipped at her tea and looked at Lisbon as if she were expecting her to say something. "Uh, so Patrick is really okay?"

"Yeah, recovery will be tough - he doesn't care much for physical therapy. He pretty much ordered me to go home though, so he's feeling brave at least."

"He probably just wanted to be sure that you were with Aubry."

"Yeah, something like that. He told me I needed the sleep and to take care of '_Bree bear and Nut_'." Without realizing she'd spilled a secret, she kept talking. It felt good to talk. "He's crazy if he thinks we're calling the..."

Shock overtook her features and her words died on her tongue. The baby was still their secret. Nobody knew yet and she'd just accidentally let it pour out. She was too tired, she blamed emotional exhaustion. Silently, she rubbed Aubry's back and dropped her gaze to the cup on the coffee table.

"You're pregnant?"

"We haven't told anyone...I wasn't...I shouldn't have said that." The hand she'd been using to soothe up and down her daughter's back dropped to rest over her stomach in a protective gesture.

"Don't worry, I'll act surprised when you guys decide to tell us." Nellie finished off her tea but held on to the empty mug. "I bet you really are tired then."

"Yeah, I should probably head home."

"Nonsense, stay here."

"Oh, no -"

"Jon will pitch a fit if he finds out that you came here in the middle of the night and drove all the way home after the day you've had. Just stay, Teresa." The woman was right. Lisbon knew her brother and she knew he'd do exactly that. He'd be upset and perhaps she was a little _too _tired to be driving. She really didn't want to stop holding Aubry just yet either.

"Okay, I'll stay."

"Great! The couch pulls out into a bed. I'll get you some blankets and pillows." Lisbon didn't ask but she had a sneaking suspicion that either Nellie lived with Jon now or she was there more than she was home. It wasn't any of her business but she still might ask her brother the next time they were alone. If she managed to put her daughter down long enough.

Today had shaken up their world and posed very important questions. Questions that she didn't know the answers to. Pressing a kiss to Aubry's head, she decided enough was enough. She needed to rest and tomorrow she'd deal with it but how was she supposed to sleep when she kept replaying the shooting over and over in her head?

**a/n: Um, yeah so I kinda injured Jane in a way that is obviously gonna take some time to heal. And bring about some more bumps in the road. More to come. More Jane/Lisbon/Aubry soon. Also, who is ready for Miss Aubry to be a whole year old? That's coming soon too.  
**

**Next:_ "What's going on?"_  
**

_**"Nothing." The reply was quick and somewhat forced.**_

_**"I believe you about as much as I believe Aubry when she uses that word and have you forgotten that I raised you and know when you're lying?" There was a quirk of his lips and then her brother was moving toward her with purpose. Uh-oh. She knew that look on his face and it wasn't one that she liked. "Don't."**_

_**He kept advancing, completely ignored the tone of her voice that made suspects cower. Damn it. Why did she have to be so small?**_

_**"Jon, I'm serious." His grin widened and before she could even think of backing away or sprinting around him, his arms encircled her waist and she was being lifted into the air. She was startled and momentarily disoriented by the quick agility of her younger brother. He hadn't tried this since she was nineteen. She honestly hadn't thought he could still do it.**_

_**But he did. With a quick twist of his grip - and her fighting him the entire time - she ended up on his shoulders. If it were up to her, she would have jumped down easily but he had her legs captive and she didn't want to end up falling. **_

_**"Put me down!"**_

_**"Let me think about it." He tipped his head back to look up at her and she couldn't help but smile at the mischief in his eyes. "No."**_

_**"Come on, Jon, we aren't kids anymore."**_

_**"You need to have some fun, sis, and I am going to spend the entire day providing it." Suddenly, it hit her. The idea that she needed fun probably hadn't come from Jon. He didn't see her all the time but her husband did. This had Patrick Jane written all over it. "And yes, Patrick might have mentioned you moping around but I assure you, all the plans are mine."**_

_**"Oh so you're a mind reader now too?" He ignored her.**_

_**"Phase one complete. Entering phase two."**_

_**"What's phase two? And for goodness sake, put me down!"**_


	48. Chapter 48

**Disclaimer: Well, even after writing all these stories, I don't own the Mentalist. But that's okay. I have cats and yarn.  
**

**Anonymous reviewers: Guest and tigerlily124 - I really do thank you for taking the time to read and review. **

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since the shooting that left Patrick Jane in a sling. Two weeks of exhaustion and nightmares. When Lisbon didn't have one, Jane did. Some nights they both suffered and woke up in intervals of gasping and being drenched in sweat throughout the night. She hated curling up next to him in fear that she'd somehow hurt him and yet after each bad dream, all she wanted to do was hold him close but she never let herself. It left her grumpy and frustrated in the mornings. Both of them had been on edge lately.

Aubry didn't understand that even though 'Dada' was home, she couldn't play on him or climb up on his shoulders. It made the girl cranky and hard to handle some days. She was too little to comprehend what had happened and that he needed time to heal. It made things even harder. There was no way to explain it to her to make her fully grasp the severity of the situation and on one hand, that was a good thing but on the other hand, it made things difficult.

Today, however, was a good day so far. Aubry had woken up in a good mood and since she'd been doing so well with sitting on Jane's lap and cuddling instead of bouncing, Lisbon let her stay there. The first time in two weeks that he'd been able to hold his baby girl - while she was awake - for more than five minutes at a time. It was obvious that he missed his father/daughter moments so Lisbon left them on the couch, watching cartoons. She wasn't exactly keen on the idea of leaving them for long periods of time but apparently her husband was tired of being _coddled _by her. His words from the night before were still raw and stinging. She was just trying to help him.

She knew it bothered him that he couldn't pick up Aubry or anything that required both arms. Especially when their little one would stand with her arms stretched out reaching for him. Lisbon hated the heartbreak that spread through him every time he had to tell Aubry 'no'. It didn't help that Bear's bottom lip would quiver and those big green eyes would shimmer in confusion. It was hurting everyone but he kept taking his anger out on Lisbon and she didn't know how to help him. They weren't talking much, just tiptoeing around conversations. They didn't talk about the fact that she'd watched him get shot and that it haunted her at night or that he was clearly having a hard time accepting it as well. They were just trying to be normal again but it was causing too much tension. They'd had three arguments - heated and nasty - in the last four days. This wasn't them. They didn't do this.

She watched from the corner of the living room while they both stared at Wile E. Coyote trying to catch the Road Runner. Aubry nuzzled Jane's chest and patted her hand against his good arm. Even though she was a baby, she knew things weren't right. The tension between her parents was obviously starting to take its toll on her as well and Lisbon hated that.

An aggravated sigh filled the air, followed by an equally aggravated voice.

"Teresa, we're fine." It was clear that he didn't want her in the room. She didn't really know where to go though. She'd taken time off to take care of him. Maybe she should have just taken Bear to daycare and went to work anyway. "I want to watch cartoons with my Bree Bear and I'm going to do just that so either join us or -"

A loud knock sounded from the door, startling her and Aubry both. He didn't finish what he was saying and Lisbon was partially grateful for the interruption. She had a feeling their conversation would've become an argument rather quickly. She gave him a look - the slightly furrowed brow and straight line of her lips would hopefully let him know how she felt at that moment - and then she headed off to answer the door.

Her shoulders were tense, her body thrumming with frustration and anger just below the surface. Things would blow up soon - she knew it was coming. But not in front of Aubry, she'd make sure their little girl wasn't around and then she'd confront him. For now, someone was interrupting their day and for once, she wasn't upset at that thought.

The stained glass lining the doorway obscured her view of whomever was waiting on the other side. She could see two shadows but until she pressed her thumb down on the handle and opened the door, she had no idea that her brother and his girlfriend were responsible for the impeccable timing.

"Hey, sis." Jon greeted her with a playful grin and she found herself returning it. Her mood lifted and she felt better than she had when she was alone with her daughter and husband.

"You didn't tell me you were coming today - where's Jojo?" Lisbon wasn't trying to be rude to Nellie - in fact, she offered her a warm smile as she ushered them both inside - but she wanted to know where her adorable little niece was hiding.

"Her mother has her for the weekend, so you're stuck with just me and Nell."

"Nell and I, you mean. I suppose I can deal with that."

"Are you really still correcting my grammar after all these years?" Ignoring his comment, she turned her attention to the young woman that followed him in the ritual of taking off shoes at the door.

"Oh, Nellie, you don't have to do that."

"It's fine. I'm used to it - my mother always made us." Polite. Another point for her in Lisbon's book. "Jon thought you might need some company and a few hours free from worrying over the baby...and Aubry too."

"That would be nice." No one defended Jane or commented on the fact that Nellie had just labeled him as a 'baby' but Lisbon's smile was enough to tell them that she'd needed the small jest. "They're watching cartoons right now, I'm sure Aubry will love seeing you both."

"I'll just go say hi, while you two talk." Nellie stepped away and walked into the living room before anyone could do anything to stop her. Lisbon turned back to her brother with a questioning look on her face. What the hell was going on?

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." The reply was quick and somewhat forced.

"I believe you about as much as I believe Aubry when she uses that word and have you forgotten that I raised you and know when you're lying?" There was a quirk of his lips and then her brother was moving toward her with purpose. Uh-oh. She knew that look on his face and it wasn't one that she liked. "Don't."

He kept advancing, completely ignored the tone of her voice that made suspects cower. Damn it. Why did she have to be so small?

"Jon, I'm serious." His grin widened and before she could even think of backing away or sprinting around him, his arms encircled her waist and she was being lifted into the air. She was startled and momentarily disoriented by the quick agility of her younger brother. He hadn't tried this since she was nineteen. She honestly hadn't thought he could still do it.

But he did. With a quick twist of his grip - and her fighting him the entire time - she ended up on his shoulders. If it were up to her, she would have jumped down easily but he had her legs captive and she didn't want to end up falling.

"Put me down!"

"Let me think about it." He tipped his head back to look up at her and she couldn't help but smile at the mischief in his eyes. "No."

"Come on, Jon, we aren't kids anymore."

"You need to have some fun, sis, and I am going to spend the entire day providing it." Suddenly, it hit her. The idea that she needed fun probably hadn't come from Jon. He didn't see her all the time but her husband did. This had Patrick Jane written all over it. "And yes, Patrick might have mentioned you moping around but I assure you, all the plans are mine."

"Oh so you're a mind reader now too?" He ignored her.

"Phase one complete. Entering phase two."

"What's phase two? And for goodness sake, put me down!" This time, he did as she asked and when her feet were back on the floor, Lisbon punched him in the arm. "I have not been _moping around_ and when I get my hands on him -"

"Calm down, Killer. You know he just wants what's best for you." All playfulness left Jon's tone and the features of his face. The moment turned serious withing a split second and Lisbon knew what came next. "About what I said awhile ago...about you two, I didn't mean it. I was upset and wanted to lash out."

"No, I was out of line. I never should have confronted you like that about Nellie - it wasn't any of my business and she's a great girl. Aubry loves her and she's amazing with kids."

"She likes you too." For some reason, that made Lisbon feel better. She didn't know why and she wasn't going to dig too far into it but part of the clouds that had been lingering over her mood drifted away. "Now, phase two?"

"I know you probably have something planned but could we just cook lunch and call it good?" The disappointment showed in his gaze but she really just wasn't in the mood for much else.

"Actually, no. We can't. We have to go out for lunch - just us - but we can bring food back for everyone."

"Just us?"

"Yep. Nellie already agreed to stay here and keep an eye on your two troublemakers." The offer sounded delightful but Lisbon couldn't help but worry her lip between her teeth. "Come on, I can see that you're on edge and I bet if we hadn't shown up then you two would be arguing and miserable."

She couldn't even tell him that he was wrong because chances were that was exactly what would have happened. But how did he know things were so messed up between the her and Jane?

"Okay, let's go."

* * *

It didn't take long for Jon to weasel the truth out of Lisbon. He didn't even _try, _she let it tumble from her lips five minutes after they were seated in the diner. Her frustration had reached the boiling point and she had to vent. Thankfully it was her brother around to listen. He knew how to deal with it and she wouldn't end up completely embarrassed by her outburst.

"...things have been awkward and stressful. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but it's like he doesn't want me around at all."

"I'm sure that's not the case, sis."

"You didn't see him. He's inconsolable. It hurts him so much because Aubry doesn't understand but it's like he completely forgets he's not alone in feeling that pain. It hurts me too - I'm the one to tell her no. I'm the one who she looks up at with tears in her eyes because she thinks she's in trouble for trying to love on her daddy." She watched as her brother's heart broke - his eyes gave him away.

"I don't think the tension between you two has anything to do with that beautiful little girl. You need to talk." He was right and she knew it but she still ducked her head and glanced down toward her lap. If it didn't get better - what would happen with the baby nestled in her womb?

"Jon-Jon..." His foot nudged hers at the whisper of his nickname.

"Hey now, come on, there's no need for tears. You guys will be fine - better than fine." Oh. She was crying. How had she not noticed that? Her face grew hot at the thought of being unable to control her emotions in a public setting. What would the waitress think when she brought their food?

Lisbon really didn't even have to contemplate that question. What did most people think when a man and a woman were seated together and the woman was crying?

"Tressa, it can't be that bad. I mean, hey, you're getting a strawberry milkshake." Her lips quirked into a small smile and she wiped furiously at her cheeks.

"I've been craving one for days."

"See, it'll all be okay." If he noticed that her eyes were still directed at her lap or that her hands stroked over her stomach, he said nothing. Part of her knew that he noticed. He was her nosy little brother, not much got by him. If Nellie already knew then what harm would come from him knowing too? None that she could think of and she really just wanted to be excited about something instead of worried over her husband. "There's a smile."

"I'm pregnant." The words were whispered and unplanned but significantly happier than moments before. "We haven't told anyone - well, Nellie knows but it was an accident - and Patrick and I haven't talked much about it since..."

"Wait, back up. I'm gonna be an Uncle again?"

"Yeah - I haven't told Tommy or Tyler yet, so can we keep this between us?"

"This is great! I'm gonna get my nephew after all." The smile bloomed on Lisbon's face and she kicked at him playfully beneath the table. Her nose and stomach knew the food had arrived before her eyes did. French fries. And they smelled amazing.

"Oh really, and what if it's another girl?"

"Don't crush my dreams, sis." He gave her a mock glare but she just rolled her eyes and stole a french fry from the plate that appeared between them. "Hey! You have your own."

"Yours taste better."

**a/n: I know, rather short but I wanted to use it as a filler chapter before we see them confront things. And I love me some Lisbon/babybrother time. In the next chapter we have some Jane/Nellie conversation about all this tension and then we have the big Jane/Lisbon confrontation.**

**I'm not including a piece of the next chapter as a preview this time, simply because I plan to update by Saturday and it would give way too much away. I want to keep this one as a surprise. **

**Also, recently started using twitter. You can follow me (at symbol)Nellie_Rai it's a great way to hear what's going on in my oh so interesting life and I'm going to be using it a lot to discuss certain aspects of my stories. I also plan to complain a lot when I'm stuck on something - who knows, maybe you'll be able to help me out. Plus super cute pics of my cats...  
**


	49. Chapter 49

**Disclaimer: Just no.  
**

**A/N: Two things. 1. I kept my promise of updating today! 2. Next chapter is the 50th and I think that calls for a mini celebration. **

It wasn't easy to admit but Jane knew he hadn't been handling things very well. The petulant child within him wanted to point out that his wife wasn't exactly doing any better. He shouldn't be like that. None of it was okay. At that very moment, though, he was feeling better. His daughter was curled against him, her little hand gripping at his chest and her eyes drooping. He'd been talking to her and listening to her babbled responses for a good thirty minutes. The way her eyes would light up and she'd giggle at absolutely nothing. Perfect. Well...not perfect, they had a visitor. Not that he didn't like Nellie - it was just that he would do anything for some alone time with his favorite girl.

"You could have went to lunch with Reeses and Jon." Jane wasn't fond of the way Nellie shook her head and gave him a sly grin. He liked her - he did - but he didn't need a babysitter for himself.

"As much as you think you can handle Aubry on your own - you are far from superman and that little one is rambunctious. Nice try." He wanted to yell or maybe just tell her to leave but that'd be rude and he wasn't trying to be. Not to her - she didn't deserve it. He knew it was Teresa that had asked her to stay and he knew that it was for the best. Didn't mean he had to like it. "Why don't we talk about why Teresa looked ready to burst into tears?"

"How 'bout we don't and say we did?"

"Jon told me that you called him - worried that you were hurting her - so it's obvious you're not trying to do it on purpose." A sigh escaped his lips and he smoothed his hand along his daughter's spine. Nellie wasn't giving up and really, he didn't want her to. He did want to fix things. He wanted to talk.

"She's almost asleep." He wasn't changing the subject - not really - he was just trying to soak in those last few waking moments when Aubry would nuzzle her face against his uninjured shoulder. Her little button nose pressed into his skin - warm and soft. She was always so soft. It was rare that she'd fall asleep in their arms anymore - that had ended when she'd learned to walk. Her mouth parted and her eyes searched for his.

"Da-da."

"Right here, Bear." The sound of his voice soothed her - she smiled up at him and hugged his neck tighter. He'd missed her so much. He hated not being able to lift her - spin her around in a circle and listen to the giggles. "Sleep, little one."

Her brow furrowed in the same adorable way as Lisbon's and he felt the guilt creep into his chest. He was holding his daughter as she melted into the land of dreams but he'd sent Lisbon away. He missed her too. His eyes stayed glued to Aubry as she gave up the battle but his words were meant for the young woman seated in the chair across from him.

"I don't want to hurt her and I know I am."

"You two need to talk. She isn't trying to keep you away from Aubry or trying to smother you." He lifted his gaze, met hers and gave a shake of his head.

"It's neither of those. I get short tempered with her but it's not her fault." He didn't want to be discussing personal things with anyone other than Lisbon but he knew he needed to at least attempt to sort things out in his own head. "Lisbon is a worrier - everyone knows that - but she _can't. _She needs to take care of herself right now - she can't be stressed like this."

It wasn't his place to share the news of their new addition to the family - at least not in a moment such as this - but he wasn't sure how to avoid it. He was just worried because she was stressing and it wasn't good for her or the baby. The tension wasn't good for any of them and it kept escalating instead of getting better.

"Because of the baby?" His head snapped up - she already knew. "She let it slip the day you were shot."

"I can take care of myself and she needs to take care of Nut."

"I'm sure she knows what she's doing. I mean, she _has_ been pregnant before." It was true and he knew that but it didn't stop the fear in the back of his mind. "It sounds to me like you two just need to clear the air."

"You sound like a shrink." He grumbled and shifted Aubry. Pain shot through his arm, made him clench his teeth and blow out a slow breath through his nose.

"Maybe but I'm cheaper than marriage counseling or a divorce, and I'll choose to ignore the fact that you just hurt yourself by being too stubborn to ask for help."

"You're not very good at ignoring things. In fact, you're as bad as my dear wife."

"I hope I am. She's a wonderful woman."

"She is." He tried to move his arm but the sling was too tight. He was uncomfortable - borderline in pain and he needed to change positions.

"Are you guys hoping for a boy this time or another little girl?" Nellie was looking at him with concern but she wasn't even offering to help. She just watched as he struggled with the sling. He was clearly having a hard time as he tried to discreetly wiggle. He was even starting to sweat, he could feel it and god, did it hurt to do _that._

"You gonna help or just watch me suffer?"

"I thought you didn't need any help."

"Ah, I see what you did. Fine, yes, I was wrong. I need help, can you please take Aubry?" She was entirely too satisfied with herself for his liking but she did as he asked. She got up to help. He heaved a pain filled sigh of relief when she gently pulled the baby from his arms. Okay, so perhaps he'd been wrong. He couldn't handle things by himself but he still didn't want Lisbon worrying about it.

Awkwardly shifting on the couch, he managed to prop himself against the cushion in a way that let the red hot flare reduce to a light simmer. He wanted Aubry back but he knew it'd be best if he let Nellie keep her for a little bit, so he did. Not that he wanted to. It was time to stop joking around. It was time to get serious and to make sure he worked things out with Lisbon. He needed her.

"She doesn't want to touch me." It was out of his mouth before he even noticed. Both of them were a little shocked by the revelation. "It's not...that. She has nightmares and I know they're about the shooting - some of them at least - but she won't let me anywhere near her. I try and she just tells me 'no' and that she's 'fine'."

"Do you -"

"And I know what she's thinking - she's afraid to hurt me but dammit, I want her to. I want her to hurt me if it means that we can get over this wall."

"Then push back." He hadn't. He had been letting her hide and it was crushing both of them. Tonight. He'd do it tonight. "Now come on, enough mumbo jumbo, let's do something fun."

"What do you have in mind?" Her enthusiasm was contagious but he wasn't so sure how he felt. He hadn't meant to tell her anything. He wasn't sure why he did.

"I'm going to go lay her down," She tilted her head to Aubry. "Then what do you say to a game of cards?"

"I say, you're gonna lose."

* * *

The sound that Lisbon heard when she walked into her house was not one that she expected. Laughter hadn't been a visitor in their home for at least two weeks - unless it was from Aubry. She glanced back at Jon as he stepped through the door with to-go containers in his hands. He shrugged a shoulder but she couldn't believe it - Jane hadn't even smiled much lately but she could hear him chuckling.

In an attempt to fully believe what was happening, she stepped through the foyer, followed the sound and stepped into the kitchen. A smile lit up her own face when she saw them. Nellie and Jane were seated across from each other - both with cards in their hands and potato chips between them. He was smiling - Jane was actually having a good time and she felt the stir of something that'd been forgotten in her veins. Fire. Attraction. Heat. Lust. Love. So overwhelming that it almost knocked her down. She _missed _him. This had to end.

"Oh, look, they're back! Want me to deal you guys in on the next hand?" Lisbon wanted to decline Nellie's offer when she noticed that Jane had let his smile fall just a little but her brother didn't give her time.

"Of course."

"You'll never win - Patrick cheats." It was obvious that Nellie was already aware of that but Lisbon thought it was important to let Jon in on the secret.

"I'm used to it, so does Nellie." Shocked by the fact that Nellie was capable of such things, she took a seat next to her husband and watched as the two finished their round. She knew Jane would probably end up winning. He always did but when the cards were shown the smile that had dropped from her face returned. "Told ya, she cheats."

"I don't cheat. I'm just good. Sorry, Patrick."

"Looks like I might have met my match." He was smiling and she just couldn't take it anymore. She had to touch him. Her hand shot out before she thought twice, brushed along the curls at the base of his skull. She felt him tense, obviously he hadn't expected it and honestly, neither had she. It just happened and it felt so good.

But then he turned toward her, confusion in his eyes and her nerve jumped out the window. Her hand dropped as if she'd been burned. He didn't want her to touch him. That hurt. Her heart constricted in her chest and she turned away from him to look down at the table.

"Don't do that." His voice was harsh in her ears - made anger bubble up inside of her. What the hell.

"Sorry."

"No, just stop." She was the confused one now. He wasn't making sense and she felt too exposed in front of their company to get into it with him. She couldn't do this in front of her brother. "You pulled back. Don't."

"Uh, maybe we should get going. Let you two talk." Lisbon hated that they felt the need to leave but Nellie was right, they needed to talk. She still tried to be the good hostess and get them to stay.

"No, guys, you don't have to do that."

"It's fine sis, we'll see ourselves out." They both practically sprinted for the door - as if in a hurry to get away and she'd never been more ashamed of herself. "Raincheck on that poker game."

They were gone before she could form a reply and she was left alone at the kitchen table with the man she currently didn't understand. The cards and chips were still littering the surface of the table and she didn't even move to clean them off. She shouldn't feel so awkward about any of it. But she did. She felt awkward and angry and hurt. So many things and she wasn't sure how she was supposed to tell him that.

"We do need to talk, Teresa." His voice was soft this time and she let herself raise her eyes to meet his. All day long, she'd told herself that she would do it - confront him and clear things up but she didn't have a clue on how.

"I know." Silence followed. Neither of them spoke for a good two - maybe three minutes. She couldn't take it. What was wrong with them? They didn't do this anymore. When their marriage first started - yes, but not anymore. Her heart was pounding, she didn't want to fight with him but if that was what it would take to fix them, she'd do it. Her palms were starting to sweat. She was actually nervous. "Where's Aubry?"

"Sleeping."

"Oh. That's good, she hasn't been sleeping much and she's been so -"

"You haven't been sleeping very well either." Okay, there was clearly no pussy-footing around. He was jumping in and pulling her along for the ride.

"Neither have you." It wasn't supposed to come out defensive but it did.

"Can we not turn this into a battle?"

"I wasn't trying to." He chose not to say anything and she silently thanked him for that. One wrong move on either of their parts and it would blow up in their faces but her emotions were already boiling. She couldn't hold it in anymore. "I'm just frustrated and tired of this. No one in this house is sleeping - the tension is ridiculous and I can't even touch you because you were...were _shot._"

"You need to stop."

"Stop what?"

"Treating me like I'm made of glass. I was shot, I'm in a sling and can barely move my arm but I'm not going to break. You need to stop worrying so much. It's not healthy for the baby." She opened her mouth to cut in but he held up a hand to stop her. "It's not healthy for any of us to go on like this. I'm not blaming you - I messed up too. I don't want to fight."

"Me either."

"You need to touch me." Her face flushed - he didn't mean it like that but the implication was still there. She felt the desire stir in her belly. She wanted to, oh how she wanted to but what if she hurt him? "It's my shoulder, not my entire body."

"I do touch you."

"No, you always pull away. You have nightmares and you won't let me comfort you. I have nightmares too - I know you've heard them but you still stay on your side of the bed and pretend to be asleep."

"I'm sorry but I'm a little confused, you act like you don't want me around right now but you're telling me the exact opposite. I don't know what to do." She was letting the anger leak into her voice. She really didn't want to fight over this but he wasn't making sense and she was so done with dancing around. "All I do is enter the room and you get this look on your face like 'oh god, here she comes'."

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is, you want nothing to do with me!" He growled, literally growled at her and she flinched. She was never scared _of _him but sometimes he reminded her of something she longed to forget. Any man with a temper reminded her. "I'm pregnant and we don't even talk about it."

"Because you won't talk to me about anything. You hover and ask if I'm okay or you come and make sure Aubry isn't on me but we don't talk." Her anger was starting to completely take over - how dare he. She tried. She wanted him to be okay and she was just trying to be the best mother she could while making sure he recovered.

"Maybe we shouldn't." She regretted the words as soon as they were out but she still forced herself into pushing up from the table. She wasn't doing this. Aubry would be waking up soon and she was not about to let their daughter hear them fight.

For someone only capable of using one arm, he maneuvered efficiently. She didn't make it out of the kitchen before he had grabbed her wrist and pulled her back into him. She collided with his chest - saw the pain etch into his face and felt the panic rise in her blood. He let out a stuttered breath, walked her backwards and she did nothing to stop him. He was warm against her and there was fire raging in his gaze. She could easily overpower him, push him away but it would hurt him even more.

"Stop walking away." She could feel his words against her face, feel the heat of his body press into her when her back hit the wall. She was trapped and she didn't want to lean into him. His arm was between them - in the sling and she was not going to be responsible for crushing it. Despite the fact that she was still mad and smarting from his words - her body was responding to his proximity. Tightening and humming in all the right places, she had to keep reminding herself why she couldn't just wrap her legs around his waist and forget everything.

She shivered when his fingers moved to trace along her jaw. Only his body was holding her in place - and the hands she had clenched in his shirt. Tears gathered in her eyes and she wasn't sure why but he was so close and she didn't want to let go - couldn't let go. Her hands were frozen. The warmth of his forehead rested against hers and she let her eyes flutter. She was hot, buzzing, her skin practically crawling with want, need. Her fist pressed into him, ventured too close to open tender flesh and he jerked with a hiss.

Eyes flew open, met his and she felt the tears spill. She tried to move but he still had her sandwiched to the wall and his arm was still wedged between them. She opened her mouth, ready to tell him to move, to apologize but he wasn't having any of it. With a low noise of frustration, he eliminated the gap between them. The smooth warmth of his lips against her own diminished all protest. It wasn't a chaste or tender kiss, he coaxed her mouth to part immediately with a light push of his tongue and buried himself inside. The first touch and she melted into him.

She'd missed him. Missed this. Mouths dancing, she carefully ran her hands over his chest, - avoiding his arm and wounded shoulder - up and into the wild curls. He needed a haircut but she loved it. Tugged gently and listened to him grunt. She hadn't nearly had enough when he pulled away. An unsatisfied moan flowed between them but he didn't go far - just enough to bump his nose into hers playfully.

"That look you saw, the 'oh god, here she comes'...you're right that's what I was thinking but it was followed by 'and she won't let me in anymore, she won't let me touch her'."

She swallowed roughly, he had a point. She'd been pulling away every time he'd attempt some type of intimate contact but it hadn't been because she didn't want the attention. She opened her eyes, met his sparkling ones. She hadn't seen that look in two weeks. He looked happy - amused. Content. He looked content.

"Can we just agree we were both idiots and try to do better?" She guided his chin, tilted him closer to her mouth so their lips brushed softly.

"Sounds good to me." He breathed the words into her before fusing their lips once again. She wanted to take him upstairs, peel out of their clothing but she couldn't and she wouldn't let him try to talk her into that just yet. He'd had surgery and was still recovering. No vigorous activities. No matter how much they both wanted it.

An unhappy yell broke them apart. Sleeping beauty was awake but Lisbon wasn't quite ready to let him go. She held him to her for a few more seconds, brushed her mouth over his in tender kisses that left them both feeling better than they had in weeks. All hope wasn't lost.

"Aubry's up." A sigh escaped her lungs. She loved her daughter but the kid was developing terrible timing. Jane chuckled against her skin, kissed her forehead and then stepped back so she could go get their baby.

"Teresa, tonight it's you, me, and Nut. We're gonna talk." Pure relief flooded through her. They'd be okay.

**a/n: ****I'm rather excited about this chapter for some reason. Maybe because it's so close to 50. It's insane that this story started as a dream I had and that it has escalated to this. I really want to thank all of you who make it worth it. All the readers out there and everyone who reviews. You guys are the best.**

**Next:_ "Mama, un." She held up her little index finger and Lisbon kissed it. She was so proud of her daughter. Learning everyday and becoming a little chatter box who only knew a handful of words but spoke gibberish to make up for it._**

**_"That's right baby, you're one today." Had it really been a year?_  
**


	50. Chapter 50

**Disclaimer: Aubry would exist if the show were mine.  
**

**A/N: I know what you're thinking. OMG these regular updates! I don't know what that's about either but I've chosen not to question it. For anyone who reads my other mentalist fic, Believe, it's being updated too - promise. The newest chapter is more than half finished but this story is the one stuck in my mind. This one and my book. Sorry 'bout that.  
**

**Special thanks to all anonymous reviewers!**

**Also, 50th chapter! AND I added more Penguin in this chapter because I know I've been neglecting her - I think I mentioned her once in the last four chapters - and I love that dog. I didn't forget her, I just didn't think the last few chapters had a place for her with the tension and fighting but now I realize that I took so long to update between the chapters that had her in them, everybody probably forgot the pup.  
**

It was storming - thunder crashed and lightning streaked the sky but it couldn't - and wouldn't - take away from the special day that Lisbon had planned. With her daughter dressed in a green and purple sundress, Lisbon carried her into the master bedroom with the intent to get ready for the day - the dog followed. One dressed, one to go. The morning had started late for them simply because Lisbon wanted time with Aubry to herself. She'd kept her in the nursery - read her two books while the little one ran around playing and occasionally sat in her lap long enough to turn three or four pages at a time.

She liked it though and Lisbon had needed that time. She'd needed some mother/daughter moments. It never failed to remind her of her own mother. She wished her mother could be here - could watch her granddaughter run and play with her hair a mess around her face and a bright innocence surrounding her. It still hurt. The ache still crept into her chest and burned and she almost let it get the best of her but then Aubry patted her cheek - her warm chubby fingers gentle and loving - and it all faded away.

"Mama, un." She held up her little index finger and Lisbon kissed it. She was so proud of her daughter. Learning everyday and becoming a little chatter box who only knew a handful of words but spoke gibberish to make up for it.

"That's right baby, you're one today." Had it really been a year? Some days it felt like it had been longer than that while others left her feeling as though time had flown. It was crazy to think about it. One year ago she'd brought their daughter into the world. The perfect happy little mess that she loved so much. The one who currently tugged at the ends of her.

"Dada?"

"Daddy's at," Lisbon paused, not sure how to explain physical therapy to such a young child. "Daddy went to the doctor but no worries, pretty girl, he'll be back any minute."

It was clear that Aubry didn't fully understand. Her wide expressive green eyes stared back at Lisbon with a blank expression before she grinned and clapped her hands excitedly. It was hard to be anything but happy around such a smiley child...well most of the time. There was still the whole awkward fight she'd had with Jane but that was over a week ago and they'd managed to fix things. She had backed off, gave him the space he asked for when it came to doing things on his own and she'd reconnected with him emotionally by being there as his wife.

"What do ya say, kid, want to help me pick something to wear?" She chuckled when Aubry shook her head no. Ever since Jane had taught her, that was how she answered every question - with a shake of her head. "Well, that's too bad. It's just you and me, so you're out of luck baby."

Lisbon playfully tickled her side and sent Aubry into a fit of giggles - her mouth open and eyes squinted in delight. The waves of caramel covering the girl's head bounced when Lisbon set her down in the middle of the king sized bed. It was stunning the way their daughter's hair was a perfect mix of theirs. It had lightened to a beautiful color with golden highlights but some days, Lisbon missed the dark haired tiny little baby she used to rock to sleep.

Penguin jumped up next to Aubry and sat with her tail thumping the bedspread. The two were inseparable most of the time. They also got into quite a few messes together. Their pup had grown - sprouted overnight into a half-grown dog that still had paws too big for her body and eyes entirely too playful.

The adorable pitbull had melted into their family - become a kid to them. Lisbon had three kids so far: Jane, Aubry, and Penguin. The fourth was still in the making.

"Mama."

"I was thinking some jeans and maybe that shirt that you love to clench your little hands in." She walked over to the closet, set on the pair of dark wash jeans that hugged her hips just right and the soft purple cotton top. She glanced back at Aubry as she opened the door just to make sure her mini troublemaker didn't decide to jump down and take off.

She stripped out of her shirt and tossed it at the laundry basket over in the corner. Aubry let out a squeal and bounced against the mattress as if waiting for her to do it again. She had such a weird child and sure enough, when she stepped out of her pajama pants and threw them in the same direction, another high pitched squeal.

Lisbon saw the very moment her daughter got the bright idea to crawl over to the edge of the bed. Her little eyebrows raised and she looked back at Lisbon as if to make sure she wouldn't get caught. That was a look she'd inherited from her father.

"Stay right there next to Penguin, lil miss, I don't want to chase you around half naked." The voice that responded made her drop the pants she was attempting to pull on.

"Don't worry Bear, she tells me the same thing all the time - still does it." Face flushed and heart racing, Lisbon whirled around to face her husband. She hadn't heard him come in.

"Do not scar our child for life."

"She's one, Teresa, she won't even remember any of this." He was smiling but it was strained. He looked tired and she could see he was in some pain but he didn't say anything about it. Just stepped closer and let her lean back on him as she pulled her pants up to rest low on her hips. His hands came to rest just above them, on the bare skin of her stomach as he rested his chin on her shoulder. She loved when he did that. He would always rub his mouth along her neck before pursing his lips in a sweet kiss just below her jaw.

He rubbed his hand over her navel but then he froze. She didn't understand until she attempted to button her jeans. The fabric refused to meet in the middle. There was about an inch of skin between the button and the loop. Oh. _Oh._ Their baby was growing and apparently so was Lisbon.

"You're starting to show." She was close to fourteen weeks now but she hadn't even noticed any weight gain until this. Her pants weren't going to fit for the birthday party. The harsh burn of disappointment settled in her chest. It was dumb but she wanted to look nice for her daughter's very first birthday.

Staring down at the uncooperative button, she saw - and felt - Jane's hand smooth over the skin. His fingers were hot against her and so gentle that she couldn't help but smile. He was right. There was a small, barely visible swell to her belly that made it look like she'd just eaten too much.

"Can't keep it a secret much longer, my pants don't fit."

"You didn't show with Aubry this early. Maybe it's twins." A startled laugh escaped her lungs and she playfully elbowed his uninjured side. He kissed her cheek, smiled against her.

"Don't you dare jinx us. There was only one baby in the ultrasound."

"Sometimes they miss one - been known to happen."

"We're not having twins. There is only one baby in here." As much as she was putting up a fight - she wouldn't mind two babies. She'd be tired and would probably lose her mind but she'd love them. As a mom though, she _felt_ like there was just one single child within her. "Maybe he just wants to be seen."

"Or she." Lisbon finally looked up from where both of their hands had came to rest and turned her head to catch his gaze. It was pointless, he was still staring down - his thumb still stroked along her skin. "Another little girl would be nice too."

"Speaking of little girls, where did Bear and Penguin go?" She looked at the bed, no Aubry. Her eyes danced over their bedroom and still nothing. She didn't panic, they had baby proofed all cabinets and she couldn't hurt herself on the stairs but it still worried her a little. "She is definitely your child. Aubry? Penguin, come here girl."

Just as she was about to push forward out of Jane's embrace, there was the sound of a splash followed by hushed giggles. Lisbon groaned and dropped her head back against her husband. His body was trembling in laughter and she couldn't help but join. Another splash and Jane was extricating himself and headed for the bathroom to get their two toddlers.

He came back a few seconds later, carrying one little sneak and a towel while Penguin trailed behind. Of course her daughter decided to play in the toilet _after _she had put her in cute clothes.

"I brought you a hair tie to fix your pants. I know you want to wear them today." She smiled, took the tie from his hand and looped it around the button and through the hole, then back to the button. Perfect. "I'm gonna give this little goon a bath since she decided to play in the toilet which is a no-no, Aubry."

"Kay." He leaned in, planted a warm loving kiss to her lips and then took their daughter out of the room. She knew he was taking her to pick another outfit since she'd splashed water all over the dress. They had an hour before the guests would start to arrive and Lisbon spent at least ten of those sixty minutes staring at the reflection of her stomach in the mirror.

Penguin sat next to her feet, staring up at her as she turned to the side. The purple shirt she had in her hand was cotton and form fitting. It took her two seconds to decide that she was wearing it anyway. She pulled it on over her head, slid her arms through and then put her hand over the swell. It was time to let everyone in on their good news.

The pup nudged her leg, wanting her attention. With a smile, she ruffled Penguin's ears and gave them a good scratch. She'd wasted enough time marveling in her expanded waistline.

"Trouble - that's what I should have named you. I live in a house of mischief makers." Lisbon could only hope their second child would act like her. Although, perhaps that wasn't necessarily a good thing...she'd been quite the character as a child. Oh who was she kidding? She was doomed.

* * *

The party was small - just family. Nellie, Jon, Jojo and of course the team. There wasn't a huge fuss but it was still nice and probably perfect. At least, Lisbon thought so. Their little girl was smiling and seated on Cho's lap - the two were ridiculous. She loved Cho, really she did but she didn't understand why he was her daughter's favorite. He didn't smile when he talked to her - just kept his stoic expression. Occasionally she'd catch him quirk his lips in a small grin but the fact that Aubry preferred him over playing in the floor with Penguin and Jojo? It was just hard to believe.

Everybody was seated at the kitchen table - well almost, Jojo was distracted - waiting for the cake to be served and Lisbon and Jane were getting the candle set up. Aubry nestled into Cho's side and didn't seem to understand that the day was all about her. She was just her usual charming self with that beautiful smile still in place.

She was eyeing the balloons that were tied to the ceiling, the streamers and the birthday sign - Lisbon snapped a picture just before she lit the single candle on the pink and green birthday cake. This was it. She shouldn't be so emotional but she couldn't help it - she was almost to the point of tears and Jane had to take the cake from her before she dropped it. He carried it over - started singing Happy Birthday to their baby and everyone joined in.

Another picture - this time of everybody singing and Jane settling the cake in front of Aubry. She was giggling and staring up at Jane with a look of pure love on her face. That love was something Lisbon witnessed every day and moments like these almost knocked her over. It was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever been partial to.

"...Happy Birthday dear, Aubry, Happy Birthday to you!" A close up of the cake and Aubry's face was next. Lisbon almost groaned when she realized she'd turned into _that _mom. The one who snapped pictures like her life depended on it.

"Here, I've got it." Grace reached for the camera and Lisbon let her have it. "You go be with her."

"Thanks." Cho passed Aubry to her when she got close enough and gave up the seat he was in. He moved to the next one and Lisbon silently thanked him as she sat down. It was perfect. Her family - her daughter in her lap, her husband next to her with his hand on her shoulder and the cake waiting to be eaten. "Help me blow out the candle Bear. One, two, three...blow."

Lisbon and Jane blew the candle out together, the flame flickered and died just as their daughter reached for it. Perfect timing. Her hand met the icing and she made a face that almost resembled disgust but then she smiled and squished the corner beneath her hand. Lisbon had a feeling the red jumper she was wearing would be covered in pink and green frosting before the day was done.

A handful of cake and frosting made it's way into Aubry's mouth, the crumbs and excess smeared across her face and Lisbon knew that she'd end up wearing just as much cake as her daughter but that was okay. Jane cut the rest, put them on plates and passed them to Nellie who passed them around the table.

"Jojo, come on, cake!" Jon was waving a plate around to show her. The little girl was still playing in the floor with Penguin, her dark curls hid her face but it was obvious that she was smiling.

"Doggie!"

"Yes, Penguin - ridiculous name by the way, sis - will still be here even after you get up here and eat."

"You, hush." It wasn't ridiculous. Okay it was a little ridiculous but it just fit. "Jojo, wanna sit with Bree and eat some cake?"

"Esa, can I have a doggie?" The question was followed by a serious questioning gaze. The toddler was asking something that she deemed to be a valid and important inquiry.

"You need to ask your father and Nellie on that one, Jo." She heard Jon groan. "Now c'mon, get up here and eat some cake."

Lisbon moved, set up the booster seat for Aubry and let Jojo sit next to her little cousin. Rigsby was the first to reach for more cake and ice cream - not too surprising but the way Grace was discreetly holding his hand beneath the table was. It wasn't that nobody saw it coming but Lisbon had honestly almost given up on the two.

She stepped back, surveyed their family. The people seated around their kitchen table. Cho, Rigsby, Van Pelt, Jon and Nellie. The kids were painting one another with frosting and Aubry actually leaned over to lick Jojo's cheek. A squealed 'ewww Bree!' had everybody laughing. They were doing alright - their girl was happy and that was all that mattered.

Her gaze caught on her husband and she frowned. He was standing next to the dog, trying to feed her cake without anyone noticing. That man.

"Patrick! You can't feed her cake."

"Why not? It's vanilla." Penguin took the piece he offered, swallowed it in one bite. Why did she even try? Her child was trying to lick frosting off of her cousin and her husband was feeding the dog birthday cake. "Look, she loves it."

"I'll bet she does." He wiped his fingers on a napkin, walked over and wrapped an arm around her waist. He took in the sight of their kitchen. The pink and green balloons. Everything was pink and green and polka dotted. She was startled when his lips pressed against her temple. Her eyes rose to meet his and she smiled when she saw the look on his face. "Hey."

"Hey. One year - we did good."

"Yeah, well lets hope we can keep it up with two crazy kids." His hand was resting on the barely bump of her stomach and she didn't do a thing to stop him. It felt good and she wanted everyone to know but she wasn't going to announce it - not when this was supposed to be about Aubry. She saw the knowing looks thrown their direction, knew she wouldn't have to say a word.

* * *

"She's out early." Lisbon was lying on the bed, in just her baggy shirt when Jane came back from putting Aubry in her crib. He was right, it was only seven but she'd had a such an exciting day that she passed out from sheer exhaustion.

"Long day." Her eyes were closed, her hand bunched in the fabric at her hip. "Even I'm tired."

"You, m'dear, are also incubating a tiny human - you're allowed to be tired."

"Oh, well, as long as it's _allowed_." The smirk on her face gave away her amusement. "I can't believe you gave our dog cake, if she gets sick, you're cleaning it up."

"She'll be fine. Today was our baby girl's first birthday." If her eyes had been open she would have rolled them. He was stating the obvious but he was crawling in next to her and even kissed her forehead. Maybe it was okay. "You're amazing, Teresa."

"How did this become about me?"

"You gave her life and now you're giving us a second. I feel like maybe I don't show you enough that I really love you and the family you've given me." Her hand met his cheek, stroked over the stubble he hadn't shaved.

"Sometimes, you're the sweetest." It was followed by a kiss. She placed her lips against his, ran her hand along his arm - but she stopped before reaching his shoulder. She could feel his muscles contracting beneath her fingers. The physical therapy from that morning had caught up to him. "You need to take your pill. You'll barely be able to move it in the morning if you don't."

"I know. Just give me a few minutes."

"I can feel your muscles spasm. Are you hurting?"

"A little. Might have overdone it a bit today." She didn't scold him, didn't say anything. It was okay. He was okay and their family was healthy, happy. That was good enough for the night.

"You have your check-up next Tuesday." The hand she had clenched in his forearm turned sensual, stoked along his skin and her eyes opened. A teasing grin took over and she let her tongue poke out between her teeth. "Maybe after - if you're cleared - we could celebrate."

She put emphasis on the 't', made sure he knew exactly what she had in mind. He swallowed roughly, pulled her close enough that she could feel the effect she was having on him. It made her tone it down just a bit. It felt as though they hadn't been together in so long and she was more than ready to reconnect - to make love until neither of them wanted to move.

"You're a tease." She laughed, full and hearty as she buried her face in his neck. Life was pretty good at that moment and she was happy with it.

**a/n: This chapter kinda exploded into a long one. Kind of appropriate since it's the 50th and Aubry's first birthday.**

**Next: _"It's date night, Jon has Aubry and we are going to enjoy a nice night to ourselves - maybe discuss some baby names." Excitement raced into her system and she thanked him with a warm press of her mouth to his. _**

**_"Sounds great, Patrick but if you suggest one ridiculous name - you're sleeping outside and Penguin will enjoy your side of the bed for the night."_**

**_"That dog takes my side regardless."_**


	51. Chapter 51

**Disclaimer: It's on my bucket list but no such luck yet.  
**

**A/N: I hope everyone is enjoying these updates. :) This chapter took a little longer because I was crocheting stuffed hippos for baby showers and spending way too much time on pinterest. Story of my life.  
**

It was late when Lisbon made it through the door to her house. The case wasn't going anywhere and she'd stayed over to try and find something, anything that would lead _somewhere_. Nothing. Still. It wasn't until she was taking her shoes off - while the dog licked her hand - that she realized no toddler had crashed into her legs yet. Usually her daughter was the first to greet her when she got home. Well, Penguin was always the first but her daughter was a close second.

Her brow furrowed, lips set in a thing line and she wondered if maybe Jane had Aubry in bed already. Sure, she was getting home late but it was only seven. The man in question walked down the stairs at that precise moment - a smile on his face and a mischievous glint in his eyes. She tilted her head to the side, her way of asking without actually asking but he said nothing, just kept walking toward her until he was so close she could feel the heat from his body.

As soon as she had her gun in the safe, his arms were wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer and she went willingly. She pressed her lips to his, let him deepen the kiss until she was panting and backed into the wall. Now, that was a hell of a 'welcome home'. His chest pressed to hers, molded her to the wall and she let herself fully enjoy the feel of him. It'd been too long since they'd done something as simple as making out like horny teenagers.

He didn't stop, even when she tugged her lips free of his. He just continued down her jaw - warm, hot kisses to her skin - over her pulse point and down to the sensitive curve of her neck. He was indulging and she was letting him. It just felt so good, his hands skimming under her shirt - caressing the bump and the way his teeth nipped at her flesh. Her eyes slammed shut, her body slack against him when he hit that mark that made her knees give out.

She was pretty sure she whimpered in relief when he stopped. Too much at once and she needed to collect herself. Where was their baby?

"Aubry?"

"It's date night, Jon has Aubry and we are going to enjoy a nice night to ourselves - maybe discuss some baby names." Excitement raced into her system and she thanked him with a warm press of her mouth to his.

"Sounds great, Patrick but if you suggest one ridiculous name - you're sleeping outside and Penguin will enjoy your side of the bed for the night."

"That dog takes my side regardless." If it wasn't true, she wouldn't have laughed but it was. The dog usually found her way between them at least twice a night to kick at Jane until he eventually moved. "Now, you m'dear need to come with me. Our night begins with names and a warm bath."

"You ran me a bath?"

"With those bubbles you love." He was the best. Sometimes. "I'll even deal with smelling like lavender."

"You love it."

"On you, yes. On myself, not so much. Isn't really all that manly." The scoff escaped before she could attempt to stop it. Not that she would have. Jane. Manly. Hah.

"Because you're the poster boy for manliness?" She didn't expect the growl from his lips or the way his hips pushed roughly into hers. The air rushed out of her lungs on a sigh. Okay. Maybe he was a little manly.

"You asking me to prove it, Reeses?"

"I think the bath sounds more tempting right now." It was all lies. Being with him, tangled, sweaty, and pressed against each other sounded way better than the bath but she was in a teasing mood.

Her fingers tip-toed up his arm, clenched in the muscle. Something she did a lot now - ever since he'd been shot. She gripped just hard enough for him to feel it but not to hurt. Never to hurt him.

"You keep this up and the water is going to be cold long before we make it upstairs." Warmth settled low in her belly and she extricated herself from his hold - shot a saucy look over her shoulder and headed up the stairs. They'd make it to the bath but she didn't have plans of leaving for awhile.

Her shirt hit the floor in the hallway - she knew he'd follow - her pants and socks made it to the bedroom but no further. She could hear him, he wasn't far behind. The bra fell away as soon as her feet met the cool tile of the bathroom but then she paused with her thumbs hooked in the waistband of her panties.

The sight of the bathtub was nothing new, neither were the bubbles or the scent of the lavender she absolutely loved but there were candles that smelled of vanilla and that was something she hadn't expected. An arm snaked around her waist, pulled her back into the solid warmth of a chest. His nose buried in her hair and all she managed was a smile. He'd lost his shirt too.

His hand drifted down, fingers brushing along her tiny baby bump. She loved when he did that. And then his digits moved further south and she melted. Melted. He pushed at the last scrap of fabric that kept her covered and she let him - kicked them off to be forgotten. She guessed he hit the lights with his free hand but she couldn't be sure. She was too distracted by the candles and by him.

"Candles? You trying to seduce me Patrick Jane?" He nudged her toward the tub and she walked willingly. The water looked so inviting but she waited.

"Depends. Is it working?" He already knew the answer so she didn't bother verbalizing but she did turn in his arms, let her hands unbutton the snap on his pants and pushed them down. He quickly stepped out of them, shed the last article he was wearing - those boxer briefs she loved. The green ones. "I guess that's my answer."

"Get in the tub."

"Yes, dear." He made a show of it, dipped his toes in daintily and she snorted out a laugh. She just wanted him in the tub so she could settle in his lap and he was slowing everything down by being...himself. She put her hands on her hips, let her eyebrows raise in challenge. The man was worse than a child. She'd know - she had a toddler.

When he finally dropped down into the bubble filled water, she climbed in after him, all soft curves against him. She straddled his lap, knees on either side and stole his lips with her own. They'd become one of _those _couples that rushed to have sex as soon as the kid was out of the house. Just the thought made her chuckle into his mouth and he pulled away, furrowed his brow in question.

"Something funny?"

"Later." She didn't want to wait anymore. This was the first time since he'd been shot and she _needed_ him. His obvious need for her was pressed between them and it'd be more than easy to just lift up, shift her hips just right and he'd be inside her. That was all it would take but her eyes had other plans. They settled over the puckered pink flesh on his shoulder, her fingers traced over it and her lips caressed it.

He was the one to shift, the one to gently thrust into her when she slid her open mouth over his collarbone and a gasp caught in her throat. He held her there and she stayed - neither moving for a few seconds. They just enjoyed it, finally being together in every way possible.

Impatience settled soon and Lisbon was the first to swivel her hips. Her eyes closed, hands placed on his shoulders for support and they set a rhythm. Slow, easy, them. His breath came out stuttered and shallow against her skin, caused goosebumps to rise and her arousal to spike. She loved him, so much.

She loved what he could do to her, with just his fingers on her skin. How they slithered against her, molded to her breasts. Always caressing, never hurting the overly sensitive flesh and damn, if it didn't do it for her. She couldn't concentrate on anything but him and the slosh of the water surrounding them. She tried, she did but all she managed was to rake her fingers through his hair and tug on the curls.

"Teresa." No one said her name like he did. No one could undo her with just one utterance but he could. He did. All it took was the way he moved against her, in her, the sound of her name on his tongue and the hands that smoothed over her skin. She jerked against him, her back bowing, when his fingers dipped between her thighs. Too much.

He didn't stop, kept the gentle strokes that had her dancing closer and closer to the edge. Just one push and she'd fall. She knew the very second he found out she was almost there. A whimper crested up from her lungs followed by a low moan and he moved faster. The change in pace upset the water, splashed some of it out onto the floor but she didn't care. That's what towels were for, right?

It'd been too long since they'd done this - been intertwined in the most intimate way. She clung tighter to him, let her mouth find his, tongues and teeth clashing. Her nails dug in to his skin and she nipped at his lips. One more twist of their hips and she was flying. Soaring, crying out against him, crashing down and bursting into a thousand pieces that pulled him apart beneath her.

Their heavy breathing and the calming of the water were the only sounds for a few long moments. She let him clutch her tighter, palms against her back and cheek pressed to hers. This was the closest they'd been in weeks and she was savoring it just as much as he was but she felt his arm give out, drop back into the water and she suddenly realized that she'd been squeezing him rather hard.

"Sorry." Not that long ago, she would have let him go, pushed herself away and practically crawled out of the tub but she didn't move hardly at all. She just shifted her weight to rest on his good side.

"S'okay." He stroked her hair, his fingers stuck and made the strands damp. "What do you think of the name, Everley?"

"It's pretty. We considered it for Aubry, remember?"

"Yeah, I just think maybe we should use it this time." She really hadn't expected to jump right into baby names. It also bothered her a bit that Jane was still stuck on this child being a girl.

"I don't think our son would appreciate it."

"There's a fifty percent chance we'll have another daughter, Reeses." Her skin is chilled above the warm water but when Jane presses a kiss to her temple, all she could feel was warmth.

"Which means we still need to think of boy names." She waited a second for him to argue with some pointless drivel but he didn't. "I like Braedon."

"Meh."

"Okay, no on that one. You got any ideas?" Her tone was light but she was genuinely curious. She wanted to do this with him.

"We could name him Cho." And for some reason, that was suddenly the funniest thing she'd ever heard. She laughed and held her hand against their unborn child. No. She wasn't going to name their son after Cho. It was bad enough that their daughter preferred him over both of her parents.

"No, maybe he could be the godfather though."

"Seems appropriate since our children like him more than us."

"We just have Aubry."

"Penguin. Even the dog chooses Cho." It was true. It didn't make any sense but it was true and Lisbon let a smile bloom over her face. One of the mysteries of her dear Agent Cho. "I don't get it."

"Back to names, uh, Jameson?"

"Sounds funny with my last name." She thought about it. Okay, yeah she'd give him that one. "Amelia?"

"No."

"Stephanie?"

"Now you're purposefully avoiding boy names just to get on my nerves." He tilted his head to look down at her, gave her that smile that she hated and loved all at the same time. She tried to glare but it failed and he knew it.

"Like how you're purposefully avoiding girl names?"

"You know, in this case, I propose a bet - whomever is right about the sex gets gloating rights _and _full range over the middle name of our child." Something in the back of her mind yelled at her, told her she was out of her mind because if - _if _- he turned out to be right, she wouldn't be able to have any say in a section of her child's name. The other part of her was positive he'd lose.

"I'll take that bet."

**a/n: Yup. Short little date night. How I love these two.  
**

**Next: "What are you doing?"**

**"Uh, nothing." She didn't believe him. He looked entirely too suspicious and it was rather obvious that 'nothing' wouldn't cause her daughter to be covered in...whatever the hell she was covered in.**


	52. Chapter 52

**Disclaimer: Even after all this time, nope.  
**

**A/N: Enjoy. :) Apparently my new Castle story inspires me to update all my stories more often. Ha.  
**

Some days, Lisbon felt like her job wasn't worth it. When she was stuck on a case and it looked like the killer was definitely getting away with it, then yeah, it felt like she wasn't doing anything for the family. And it sucked but she always knew that home was safe. It was warm and full of love and it was probably her favorite part of the day. Going home to _her_ family. Although, sometimes she really questioned if she made the right choice by leaving Jane and Aubry alone.

For example, when she walked in, she was met with a squeal from the kitchen and the sound of something splattering. She should have known better than to go look. Really, she should have but she did it anyway. Peeked around to see her kid and her husband with panic on their faces and pink slime everywhere.

"What are you doing?"

"Uh, nothing." She didn't believe him. He looked entirely too suspicious and it was rather obvious that 'nothing' wouldn't cause her daughter to be covered in...whatever the hell she was covered in. "There might have been a minor accident."

"Minor? Have you looked around?" It's dripping down from the counter, splotches on the cabinets above their heads. It looked like the blender in front of the two had exploded.

"It's not that bad."

"Our kid is covered in -"

"Milkshake. Strawberry to be exact and we were making it for you." Okay, she'd give him a few points for that because it was sweet. "But my helper pulled the lid off."

She wasn't mad, she found it ridiculous and when the smile broke out on her face, she couldn't stop herself from laughing at both of them. Covered in pink goo with adorable matching 'I didn't do it' expressions on their faces. She really couldn't wait until there were three crazies in her house.

She just shook her head and reached for the drawer with the towels. She handed him two and helped wipe down her daughter. The task was harder than it looked with a squirming toddler who seemed interested in eating instead of getting clean.

"Num." Aubry was bent over, licking the counter as her mother tried to get some of the pink goo off of her cheeks. "Momma, num."

"No baby, don't eat it."

"Momma." She pointed her little finger at Lisbon, then pointed down to her belly. "Baby."

"That's right, that's my baby. You're my big girl, aren't you." Aubry nodded enthusiastically, her sopping wet, pink covered curls bounced. "Unlike your father...who is definitely not a big boy."

"Hey, now! I was doing something nice for you." She couldn't maintain the glare she was trying to give him because he looked ridiculous. Pink was not his color.

"And slimed my kitchen in the process. Probably scared the poor dog."

"Yeah, she took off towards the stairs. It's not my fault our pup is a scaredy cat." He flashed that smile - the knee melting, smarmy one that always made her question what the hell he was thinking. "Oh, we should get a cat."

"No. We have a one year old, a pit bull pup, and a baby on the way - we do not need a cat." She gestured around to her messy kitchen to emphasize her point.

"We'll get a fat lazy one."

"Maybe when the kids are older but for now, our family is fine the way it is."

"You're right about that. I'm surrounded by beautiful women." She would have pushed him away if she'd known he was going to plant a loud, strawberry kiss against her cheek. She made a disgusted face, wiped at the milkshake that was now below her eye.

"And a handsome man." She looked down at her baby bump. It was a boy - she didn't care what he thought, she just knew.

"That's to be determined. I think I'm going to have a house full of girls."

"Easy there tiger. Two is enough in the kid department." It was bad enough that she was trying to get milkshake out of their daughter's hair. It wasn't really working and she was seconds away from giving up.

"For now."

"Think what you want but as of right now, two. We're done." He wouldn't give up so easily and she knew that but she'd made up her mind on this after finding out she was pregnant again. Two was a good number for them. A boy and a girl. It didn't matter that he insisted their unborn child was another darling princess. "Okay, I give up. I think Daddy needs to take his messy Bear and give her a bath."

"Bath!" Aubry's newest word and she absolutely loved to use it when she wanted to play in the tub. Her little arms stretched out toward Jane and he didn't even complain when he plucked her up off the counter. He was a good dad. Staying sticky and covered in milkshake just so he could get the little one cleaned up.

"Come on, Bree, Mommy is being a party pooper." She let it go, but she stuck her tongue out at him. Her kitchen looked like a giant bubble of gum had exploded. She should have made him clean everything but she wanted it done right. It was time to get the mop and several rags.

* * *

She hated this - the way her little girl would cling to her and refuse to go 'night night'. It broke her heart. The way Aubry would grip her hands in the fabric of Lisbon's shirt and the tears that always welled up in her eyes. It was recent, the attachment, and she really hoped it was nothing more than a phase.

"Aubry, you need to lay down - it's late."

"No. Momma! Want Momma!" Jane tried to take her, but she shook her head. He wouldn't upset her because he knew it would upset Lisbon too. She wanted to kiss him for being so thoughtful when he tried a different approach.

"It's story time and then it's time for all little monkeys to sleep."

"Book?"

"Yeah, Bear, Daddy and I will read you a book but you have to lay down in your bed." She frowned, let her green eyes dart between her parents before she finally loosened her grip. Lisbon let out a sigh of relief. She loved her daughter but she was getting heavy and with a belly, it wasn't so easy to carry her around.

She put her in the crib, coaxed her into laying her head against the pillow. Jane was already sitting in the rocking chair with a book in hand. It was Aubry's favorite. Goodnight Moon. He waved her over, smiled warmly and patted his knee.

"C'mon Momma, it's story time, get over here."

"We'll break the chair."

"I should be offended by that. Just how much do you think I weigh?" The man was incorrigible. "You hear this nonsense, Bear, Momma's calling me fat."

There was no reasoning with him and she knew it. It wasn't his weight she was worried about - it was her baby bump. With a roll of her eyes, she let him grab her fingers and tug her down into his lap. The chair rocked, creaked a little but then it was fine. Nothing broke. They took turns reading. He'd read one line, she'd read the next and it wasn't long before their daughter had her eyes closed and Penguin had curled up beneath her crib.

Lisbon stayed in Jane's arms, let him nuzzle her cheek with his nose. He smelled like his soap. Clean and musky. She tangled a hand in his curls and kissed his forehead. He was a sweet man.

"I hate when she does this. I feel like the worst mother."

"It should make you feel like the best. She loves you so much, she doesn't want to let go." She kissed him for that one, slow and lazy. Tongues dancing and teeth nipping. She let him rub his hand over their unborn child. "This one will be the same way."

"I'm pretty sure this one is going to be a Daddy's boy."

"Girl."

"Boy. Trust me." Some days, she wanted to knock him in the head. Infuriating. That was what he was. Never let her have any moment. He always had to ruin it for her and she wouldn't have it any other way.

"I trust you with my life, m'dear." She pinched the back of his neck, loved the way he jumped beneath her touch. It was always good to remind him who the boss was in this house. "Let's get out of here before we wake her up."

He helped her get up, with a gentle push. He was good at that. Helping when she needed it and creating messes when she didn't. They walked out of the room hand in hand, didn't stop until they made it to their bedroom. She was the first to strip, pushed her pants down her legs.

Her Cubs shirt was calling her name. It wasn't exactly too big anymore though, not with the baby expanding her waist line but it was still comfortable to sleep in and Jane really seemed to like the way it left her thighs bare. Once dressed for bed, she sank down onto the mattress with a sigh. She had become one of those moms that usually went to bed right after the kid was down for the night. She might not sleep but she definitely just relaxed.

"You gonna share the bed?" She almost told him no because she honestly, didn't want to move but she just grumbled and rolled on her side, opened her eyes to watch him settle in next to her. They were so boring.

"Are we really going to bed at eight o'clock on a Friday?"

"We don't have to. I usually just lay here while you snore." He was joking, she knew it but she still smacked his arm.

"I don't snore."

"Meh."

"Who do you think this baby will look like?" He was silent, she wondered if he was thinking about it or if he just hadn't expected a question like that. "Aubry looks like me, but her hair is lighter and she has your ears. I guess I just wonder if they'll look alike or completely different."

"We make good looking kids. I bet they'll look alike - spitting images of their mother."

"Hm...I dunno, I think a mini Patrick would be adorable."

"I am pretty handsome." She chuckled, scooted closer to him. He was a mess but he was her mess and she could live with that. She let her left hand settle against his chest and stared at the ring he'd given her. Some days, even after all this time, it still felt weird to actually be married to him.

"And modest too."

"That's why you fell in love with me."

"Sure it is."

**a/n: So what do YOU think they should have, another darling girl or a dashing baby boy? Basically who is right, Jane or Lisbon? Pick your sides now because next chapter we learn who gets to choose the baby's middle name. :D Will warn you now that I have a project due soon and most of my time is going to be focused on that. I'll still try to update when I have time.  
**

**Next: "I knew I was right."**

**"Yes, rub it in why don't ya?"**

**"I think I will."**

**"You do that."**


	53. Chapter 53

**Disclaimer: Nope.  
**

**A/N: Well, I finished up one of my Castle stories. Now I'm going to start updating this one at least once a week because I really want to finish it up as well. That being said, I might update more often.. I still absolutely love the Mentalist but right now, I'm stuck in a Castle writing mood and I think it's because of the last several episodes. I'm worried about my Jane/Lisbon. :/ Especially Lisbon. And the finale just...ugh.  
**

There wasn't anything abnormal about lying back on thinly padded exam table. Not to Lisbon. Not when she was pregnant, excited, scared. She'd been through this before with Aubry, dealing with the fear and nervousness that bubbled in her chest. It was still the same - the fear. It wasn't any different this time around. She was still worried that something might be wrong with their child. So many things could go wrong and she was definitely fearful.

She was clutching Jane's hand as the wand moved over her exposed mid section. Her doctor didn't seem to worried about anything yet. Healthy heart was all she said and Lisbon wasn't taking her eyes off the grainy monitor. Their baby had grown. She already knew that from the expansion of her stomach but seeing it from the inside was a different burst of feelings entirely.

"And you both want to know the sex?" Lisbon gave a nod. Felt Jane squeeze her fingers gently as he grinned at the woman doing the ultrasound.

"Yeah, we have a little wager going."

"He thinks it's another girl but I'm pretty sure it's a boy."

"Well, if baby cooperates then we should be able to clear things up." She loved this part. The anticipation, the wonder, the way her heart sped up at just the thought that she was going to know if it was a son or another daughter growing inside her womb. The wand moved over her rounding belly, pushed into the underside of it as the baby flipped.

She saw the legs first, then the adorable little rear end. Jane was practically bouncing in his old ratty brown shoes and she chanced a glance up at him. He was smiling. How far they'd come in the last few years. Her vision blurred as she turned back to watch the screen, to see the gender of the second child they'd created. She sucked in a breath, let it out, and felt her face split into a grin. She'd been right after all.

"I'd say this one is all boy. Congratulations." She didn't wait for the tissues to clean off her stomach, didn't care. She sat up, reached for her husband. The wager would wait. The teasing that came with being right - yeah, it could wait just a bit. Their baby was a healthy little boy and she just wanted to celebrate that for a few minutes with him.

Her hand wrapped around to the back of his neck, pulled him in for a kiss. A soft meeting of their lips as she tugged playfully on his curls. A boy. With his curls. She could already see it. Aubry might look like her, but even she had her Daddy's curls.

The moment they'd made it to the car, the bubble had burst and she couldn't control herself any longer. It was a miracle she'd restrained this long. If it'd been a girl, she knew he wouldn't have wasted a moment of gloating but she was different. Mostly. Not too different though because as soon as her seat belt clicked into place, she let the smirk take over and her voice tinted with amusement. Game on.

"I knew I was right."

"Yes, rub it in why don't ya?"

"I think I will."

"You do that." If it wasn't for the smile on his face, she'd think he was upset.

"How do you feel about a boy?"

"It'll be a new experience." It wasn't quite the response she'd been looking for and her face dropped just a little. Maybe he wasn't as excited. She was. She wanted a son. She loved the little baby boy dancing around in her stomach. "Hey, no don't make that face. I'm happy Reeses."

"Doesn't seem like it." He let out a sigh, gripped the steering wheel tighter, turning his knuckles almost white. She wasn't trying to start a fight. She didn't want to argue. Her hand reached for one of his, pulled it from the wheel so she could lace their fingers together. "I'm not upset. It's okay if you're disappointed."

"I'm not. Besides, I knew the whole time it was a boy." She scoffed, rolled her eyes. Of course, now he was saying he knew their son was a boy this whole time. After months of arguing with her and being adamant that their newest family member was a _girl. _

"No, you thought it was a girl."

"I let you believe that."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, _honey._" He let the comment slide, but she watched the smirk form on his lips. He was enjoying this. He liked that she was getting worked up over it. Hm. She turned her attention to the outside world, rested a hand on her stomach. It still seemed crazy. Even after all this time. Even after spending days and nights with their daughter. It seemed insane.

She had married him. She'd had his baby. She was pregnant with another. All because he was a persistent pain in her ass and she couldn't say no to him.

* * *

"Mama!" A blur of dark hair flew towards her with unsteady steps, wrapped around her legs and Lisbon smiled down at their girl, affectionately pushed her waves out of her face. "Mama."

"What am I, Bree-Bear, chopped liver?" She almost made a comment but she bit her tongue instead as he leaned down, picked up Aubry off the floor and squeezed her until she was squirming to get away. Giggling the whole time. He was a good dad.

"Dada no!" For someone who took so long to finally say her first word, Aubry had developed quite the vocabulary since and Jane wasn't the only one who was extremely proud of that fact. In fact, Lisbon was pretty sure she had him beat in the pride department. Her baby was growing up, learning more and more words daily. Her once tiny little daughter, now a walking and talking toddler.

What happened to the time? She really wondered some days. Sometimes it seemed like just yesterday and Jane was tripping over his words in her office, giving her a ring and asking her to marry him. She had thought he'd hit his head or gone insane. Most of the time, she still thought that. But she knew now that he loved her. It was obvious in the way he acted, the way he handled their kids. Both of them even their unborn son. Hell, he loved the dog too.

Her husband was in the middle of tickling Aubry when Nellie joined the little family circle they'd formed by the door. She really trusted the woman now, liked her, thought she was good for Jon. And she still felt awful for how she'd overreacted in the beginning.

"Hey guys, how was the appointment?"

"Everything is great. It's a boy." Lisbon smiled as she said it, rubbed at her stomach. He still wasn't a kicker. She hadn't felt more than just fluttering movement.

"Ah, so little Nut has nuts."

"Nellie!" She was more surprised and amused than anything and so was her significant other if his loud chuckle was anything to go by. The fact that such a polite young woman was saying it - yeah, Lisbon was amused.

"Oh come on, it was begging to be said."

"Better you than Jon. Where is he, he's the one who was pushing so hard for a nephew."

"He's napping with Jo. Lazy bums - that's what they are." With a nod, she contemplated going up to the bedroom and waking him. He'd be ecstatic over it, completely over the moon. But then she'd probably wake Jojo and she didn't want to do that.

"Tell him to call me when he wakes up, don't mention that it's a boy. We'll make him suffer just a little."

"Oh! Count me in."

* * *

It always seemed like the bed became more and more comfortable with each passing day. It was so easy for Lisbon to just sink into the mattress, ease back into the pillows and pull the fluffy covers up to rest low on her hips. She liked to look down at the expanding of her middle - the proof of life. A boy. She was going to be a mother again and this time she'd end up with a son.

A smile curled at her lips, pulled until she couldn't hold it in. Eighteen weeks pregnant with a wonderful little boy. She could already see it. A smile to match his father's and those twinkling eyes.

"Hey little guy, I feel like I should warn you now about the family you're being born into. Your father is a ridiculous goon who never listens but he's also the greatest dad. You'll have an older sister. She's a bit of a mess and will probably try to dress you up in girl clothes but I'll try to keep her harassing to a minimum. I make no promises, she's a character."

As if her daughter knew she was being talked about she bounced into the room covered in only bubbles and giggling loudly. Lisbon's heart stopped when Aubry tripped over her feet to land face first in the carpet, hands held out to break her fall. Lisbon closed her eyes, waited for the cry but it didn't come. Instead her tough little trooper just carried on as if she hadn't wiped out at all. The bed dipped when she climbed up on it, crawling over her mother as if she wasn't still dripping wet.

"Mama."

"Got away from Daddy, didn't you?" An eye crinkling smile was her only reply. That naughty little grin that Lisbon hated and loved all at the same time. "Hey, Patrick! I think I found something that belongs to you."

He appeared in the door with a towel over his shoulder and water soaking through his jeans and t-shirt. She knew exactly what had happened. Their little angel seemed to always give him a hard time when he gave her a bath. However, she could do it with no fuss and that made her feel pretty great as a mother. Powerful.

"Aubry Rose Jane."

"Uh oh baby, Daddy's using your full name."

"Don't encourage her, Teresa." He looked so serious, hands on his hips and she couldn't stop the laugh that fell from her lips.

"I'm sorry but I find it hilarious. Bring me the towel." His lip jutted forward in a pout as he shuffled over to join them, his body dropping onto the bed to sit next to her hip. He wrapped the towel around their daughter's shoulders, circled it over her skin until it was no longer drenched.

Aubry giggled the whole time, squirmed to try to get away.

"You ready Bear?" At the nod of her head, they both grabbed an end of the towel and rubbed it quickly over her hair. A squeal of laughter was their reward for the silly little game they'd started. It made her curls stick out all over the place, giving her a wild woman look that fit perfectly with her crazy little personality. "Come on, let's go get some clothes on and leave Momma alone for a minute."

"She's okay."

"She's naked. She needs clothes."

"Go get her some pajamas, she can stay in here for awhile." She was met with his sigh of defeat. He knew what those few words meant. It meant their adorable vibrant little ball of energy would be watching cartoons on their television until she passed out between them. She half expected him to turn back before he got to the door, say something about spoiling Aubry but he didn't.

Just as well, she would have had to point out all the times he let their child have snacks before dinner and the fact that all Aubry had to do was bat those lashes and smile. He was so whipped.

"Baby." A little chubby hand pressed into her belly and she ran her fingers through the wet ringlets forming. She hoped he remembered the brush or their girl would have serious bed head.

"That's right Bear, that's a baby. It's your brother. You'll have a little brother."

"Baby." Aubry's forehead scrunched and she let out a huff. "Mine."

"The baby is yours?" A single sharp nod is all her daughter gave and it was just enough to send Lisbon's chest into a swelled mess of emotions. It was the sweetest thing her little girl had ever said. Well the sweetest thing she'd ever implied. "You might take that back in a few years."

"What's she gonna take back in a few years?" He was still soaked. It was still funny and now he was carrying a purple fuzzy sleeper and a pull-up. Oh how deeply she loved him.

"Bear thinks the baby is _hers._" She took the clothes from him, helped Aubry maneuver her legs into the pink pull-up with Cinderella on the front. A few awkward tugs and making her wiggle worm of a child lie still and their once naked daughter was officially in her pajamas.

The blankets were a little damp in a few spots but it'd dry soon enough and Lisbon was too comfortable to move. She scooted back down into the bed, patted the space next to her as Aubry snuggled in. The girl always wanted to share the pillow and be as close as possible. A click of the remote and the TV came to life - already on cartoons that wouldn't hold Bear's attention for more than five minutes at a time.

When the bed dipped, it was Jane that crawled in next to them, cocooning their daughter on both sides. He slid in close, reached out to push a hair out of Lisbon's face. She smiled at him, glanced back down at the person snuggling between them as he cupped her cheek.

"You know, I had plans for tonight. And they really didn't involve Aubry - as much as I love her."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm. Just us. Celebrating the fact that we're having a son by recreating the night he was conceived." She raised an eyebrow in his direction but said nothing. "Now we're watching cartoons."

"Well you know she'll be asleep in thirty minutes and then you could always carry her to her room." She let her tongue poke out between her lips, kissed the pad of his thumb when he brushed it along the seam of her mouth.

"Let's be honest about how this always goes Reeses, you'll be asleep in thirty minutes too." And then she couldn't stop herself, she was chuckling, burying her face in the pillow because he was right. But this time she'd make it. She would because she really wanted to celebrate too.

**a/n: What's your favorite book?  
**

**Next: Lisbon had no idea what happened. All she knew was the pain, the feel of pressure in her head and the swimming of her vision. The blur as the burst of fire escalated in her jaw, knocked her off balance. She stumbled a few steps, pushed a hand against the wall to steady herself and the other brushed over the origin of the throbbing.**


	54. Chapter 54

**Disclaimer: Nope.  
**

**A/N: Oh looky there, another update. I'll just leave this here and go hide in a corner.  
**

Lisbon had no idea what happened. All she knew was the pain, the feel of pressure in her head and the swimming of her vision. The blur as the burst of fire escalated in her jaw, knocked her off balance. She stumbled a few steps, pushed a hand against the wall to steady herself and the other brushed over the origin of the throbbing.

She could hear her name echoing, felt someone grabbing her elbows but it took her a few seconds to focus on the face dancing in front of her eyes. The nose was the first thing to stop swaying and she knew who had hold of her.

"Jane..."

"Whoa, steady." His hand met her cheek, made her wince from the pain it caused. Ow. _Ow. _Her mouth hurt too, she ran her tongue along her teeth, winced at the taste of blood, the way her eyes watered. She'd bit her tongue. "Jesus, Teresa, you're lucky he didn't knock you out."

What? She didn't understand but then her body was being pulled forward, crushed into his and she wasn't so sure she cared much. She went willingly, let him stroke his hands over her back as she rested her forehead against his shoulder. Her face was on fire, aching, throbbing.

"What..."

"Interrogation with Cho, remember? The one you weren't supposed to be doing." She did. She remembered pacing, stalking around the table with her arms over her stomach because she wasn't supposed to be in there but she was _bored _and it was routine. Nothing should have happened. She remembered thinking about how mad Jane would be when he found out. And then she remembered pain. An elbow slamming into her jaw, her body hitting the wall. Oh god. Her hands went to her baby, pushing at her stomach.

"Nut," Later, she knew he'd tease later about the fact that she slipped up, that she was calling their son by the ridiculous nickname she'd been fighting against since day one. At that moment she was too busy pressing her fingers into her side, willing her baby to tumble. She had hit her shoulder but her irrational motherly instinct made her worry. She needed him to move.

After about thirty seconds, he did. She felt him flip and kick against her hand. It was enough to have her releasing a huge sigh of relief and move her fingers up to grip at her husband's lapels.

"Hospital."

"No, I'm fine." She saw the look in his eyes, knew he'd fight but she felt okay. Dizzy a bit and her head was hurting. She just wanted to go home and curl up in bed with Aubry. "I promise if I think something is wrong, then I'll let you take me."

And it was her head that received the damage. Which meant she wanted to lie down, turn off all the lights. Maybe she wanted some ice too - for the burning in her mouth. But mainly, she wanted Bear. And her silly dog. That dog bumped into things, fell over her own feet, slept beneath their daughter's bed and occasionally pushed Jane from theirs but she was a great snuggle buddy and Lisbon really loved her.

"We're going home then."

"No, I'm -"

"Home. Let's go." She'd argue but he was already wrapping an arm around her waist, leading her out of the room. She would have been embarrassed. Actually she was. He was bossing her around and she was letting him. He was making her walk in the direction of the elevator and she wasn't doing a thing to stop him. Maybe that blow to the head had done some damage.

She hadn't even tried to stop him when she saw the questioning looks from her team members. The nod Cho gave as they passed by should have made her angry. Should have made her pull away from her husband and storm off to her office because no one - not even Cho - should have been okay with Jane making decisions for her. And yet, she let him. It probably had everything to do with the fact that she shouldn't have went in the interrogation room. She should have listened when Cho told her to get out.

* * *

He was being ridiculous,completely out of line and up until a certain point, she had let him. She let him fuss, let him be the one to press the bag of ice to her face and to help her out of her work clothes but she drew the line here. There was no way she was just going to lie down in their bed without him or Aubry. She wouldn't do it. She'd be down the stairs and seated on the couch before he could blink. She was pregnant and sporting a bruised jaw, she wasn't incapable of doing the smallest things - like the dishes, she could do the dishes or the laundry.

Crazy man and his stupid need to make sure she was okay. She needed him to go away for awhile. To give her some space or she'd end up blowing up at him. Saying something she didn't mean.

"Patrick, why don't you take Aubry and put her down for a nap. She'll be a monster if she doesn't get her sleep."

"Come on Miss Bree-Bear, Mommy doesn't feel good." The little girl huffed, stuck her lip out in a pout and crossed her arms when her father reached across the bed for her. A new trick she'd learned from her older cousin. "And clearly, you need a nap."

"No."

"Aubry Rose, it's night-night time." He was using his stern voice, the one that rarely came out and for a few seconds, Lisbon thought it was working until her little girl buried those green eyes in her shoulder and almost knocked the ice pack from her jaw.

"Mommy."

"Hey, pretty girl," Tearful eyes peeked up at her. "I bet Daddy will even tell you a story."

"I was just gonna put her down and then -"

"I know but I'm fine. " But he wasn't. She could see it and that was his problem. He wasn't handling this very well. "She's not even two, she doesn't understand and you're scaring her."

"I'm pretty sure it's the swelling and the giant bruise that's scaring her." Lisbon had to bite her tongue, she let it go and said nothing as he lifted their daughter from the mattress and carried her out of the room. As soon as he was out of sight, she dropped the bag of ice to the nightstand and lifted her shirt.

It was his brooding that had their girl cranky and hard to handle, she knew it was. Aubry wasn't used to seeing her father like that, she was used to a playful dad who let her break the rules and miss naps. Not a man who hovered, fussed, was practically shaking in his shoes. That wasn't normal and anything out of the ordinary always - _always _- had Bear misbehaving.

She'd confront him when he got back but for the moment, she had other plans and they involved pressing her hand into her expanding stomach until their son decided to turn somersaults. He pushed against her fingers, kicked at her and she was smiling. Her head hurt less when she wasn't thinking about it but it pulled a bit uncomfortably to smile. She didn't even want to see what her face looked like. The stinging of her tongue with every word she spoke was enough of a reminder, she didn't need to see the very real bruising to coincide with the ache in her jaw.

She was content to play with her unborn child, to stroke over her round bump. He wasn't as active as Aubry had been, he had a habit of spazzing out for a few short minutes and then growing still. But at night, it was a different story. He was all over, up in her ribs, pushing out until she felt like he couldn't stretch out anymore. If he was already doing this at just twenty-three weeks, she hated to think of the misery she'd be in when she was further along.

"Be easy on me tonight, okay? Mommy's had a rough day."

"And she looks awful." She knew he wouldn't listen but it still drew a sigh from her parted lips when Jane meandered back into their bedroom.

"You didn't tell her a story, did you?"

"She fell asleep almost immediately, didn't have a chance." She wasn't sure if she believed him but it was quiet and their little girl was not the silent type. So, she gave him the benefit of the doubt, let him crawl up next to her on the mattress. "Does it hurt?"

She snorted out a laugh, slapped at his hand when it brushed along the side of her face. Stupid question. Of course it did and he already knew that. He was just trying to get her to admit that she wasn't okay. It wasn't happening because she was okay. She was fine.

"Are you forgetting that I've been through worse?"

"No, just asking if you want to talk about it." She didn't. She didn't want to talk. She wanted to just sit and watch TV. She wanted mind numbing, not challenging. "What were you doing in there? I thought we'd agreed to no interrogations. You're the one who chose -"

"I know. I know, okay, but I was bored and I needed to be part of this one."

"Because she was a mother?"

"No." Yes. It was true. She went after the cases harder, stronger, when she could put herself in the victims shoes. "It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal?"

"It isn't. I was shot when I was pregnant with Aubry, remember?" His eyes darkened, his body physically retreated from hers and she closed her eyes. She should not have brought that into this. "I didn't mean -"

"No, you did." He was right. She did mean it. He was being hard headed and it was a valid point. This was nowhere near as serious and he was making it into something it wasn't. But she shouldn't have said it in such a way, like she hadn't even cared when it happened. Because she had. She'd been terrified of losing her daughter but this wasn't the same.

Their son was safe and his father was out of line. She hadn't been shot or stabbed or even pushed.

"Patrick, I -"

"I'll leave you alone."

"No. That's not what I want. I want you to just calm down, jeez Jane, I just need you to let it go. I made a mistake today and I've already paid for it." And pay for it she had. She had a hell of a bruise forming. It wasn't as bad as the scar she has from getting shot while carrying Aubry but it was still a reminder.

"Cho never should have let you stay in there."

"I'm still his boss, and he fought me on it." But she hadn't listened. "Can we just let it go? My head is pounding and I'd really like to just lie here, maybe discuss names for this little guy."

"Okay, but can we just agree that next time you're pregnant - no getting elbowed, shot, stabbed, poked...none of the above."

"There won't be a next time but I'll agree to those terms and conditions for the rest of this pregnancy." Two kids was all they needed. She couldn't handle more. And that thought alone had her brain realizing just how far they'd come. From awkwardness of not knowing how to act as a couple, to married and still awkward, to expecting their first child and finally finding a rhythm and now here they were - on baby number two.

"Sounds good."

"You know, when you asked me to marry you - I really thought it was an elaborate Jane flavored hoax."

"I have flavors? Please tell me I'm better than chocolate."

"Shut up. I'm serious, I wanted to say no." She almost had but for some reason, she didn't. And she still didn't understand what had compelled her to agree to such a thing.

"Then why didn't you?"

"I couldn't. Something in me couldn't do it and I'm glad. I like us." After being together, having a child, doing all of it, she didn't even want to think about where they'd be if she'd said no. So yeah, he was annoying and she didn't really like him right now but he was still hers. "Even when I want to strangle you."

"Both ways, Reeses."

"And I still hate that nickname."

"You don't. Just like you don't hate that the baby's nickname is Nut." She knew it'd come back and bite her but maybe he was right. Maybe she didn't completely dislike it. His hand closed over hers - the one she had resting on her stomach - and he pushed their fingers together, brushed them over the swell of their son. "I like the name Landon."

It was the first time she'd ever heard him suggest a boys name and it was said in such a soft tone that if his mouth hadn't been less than four inches away she never would have heard it.

**a/n: Not as bad as anybody was expecting. Like I could ever hurt a Jane/Lisbon baby...their relationship however - I enjoy messing with.  
**


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